Fart
February 5, 2011 2:54 AM Subscribe
The word fart is one of the oldest words in the English vocabulary, which suggests that laws prohibiting farting are doomed to foul.
This post was deleted for the following reason: No one would accuse me of being anti-fart, but this is a teeny little news-of-the-weird article. -- cortex
Best give one more thought to that plate of beans. Now there might be ...consequences.
Musical fruit, people. Musical fruit.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:27 AM on February 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Musical fruit, people. Musical fruit.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:27 AM on February 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
after all, he who smelt it dealt it.
Yeah, speaking of which.
Mr Chaponda, a trained lawyer,insists that this includes farting.
"Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?" he asked on the popular "Straight Talk" programme on Malawi's Capital Radio.
He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders.
When asked whether it could be enforced, he said it would be similar to laws banning urinating in public. TOTALLY DEALT IT. OBVIOUSLY.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:32 AM on February 5, 2011
Yeah, speaking of which.
Mr Chaponda, a trained lawyer,
"Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?" he asked on the popular "Straight Talk" programme on Malawi's Capital Radio.
He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders.
When asked whether it could be enforced, he said it would be similar to laws banning urinating in public.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:32 AM on February 5, 2011
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and sit her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems ok, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems ok, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
posted by netbros at 3:37 AM on February 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
She seems ok, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems ok, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
posted by netbros at 3:37 AM on February 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
You can pry it from my cold, dead..er..yeah.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 3:40 AM on February 5, 2011
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 3:40 AM on February 5, 2011
How does the age of a word imply the difficulty of making something illegal? I'll bet "kill" and "murder" are pretty old too.
posted by DU at 4:16 AM on February 5, 2011
posted by DU at 4:16 AM on February 5, 2011
I just went on a Wikipedia bender and ended up reading Beowulf in Old English.
posted by Not Supplied at 4:20 AM on February 5, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by Not Supplied at 4:20 AM on February 5, 2011 [6 favorites]
The Queen of England was entertaining a visiting head of state, and the two of them toured London in a open-topped carriage. As they made their stately progress round Westminster, the horse let loose an apocalyptic fart, threatening to asphyxiate the two dignitaries behind it.
"I'm terribly sorry," the Queen spluttered to her guest, as they both fought to contain their retching coughs. "Quite alright, Ma'am," he replied. "I thought it was the horse."
posted by Paul Slade at 4:22 AM on February 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
"I'm terribly sorry," the Queen spluttered to her guest, as they both fought to contain their retching coughs. "Quite alright, Ma'am," he replied. "I thought it was the horse."
posted by Paul Slade at 4:22 AM on February 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
"We were put here on earth to fart around, and don't let anyone tell you any different."
posted by louche mustachio at 4:29 AM on February 5, 2011
posted by louche mustachio at 4:29 AM on February 5, 2011
"fahrt" is a very common German word representing the third person conjugation of "to travel,navigate,drive". Which led to a lot of snickering in my middle-school German classes.
posted by telstar at 4:33 AM on February 5, 2011
posted by telstar at 4:33 AM on February 5, 2011
"farting is ok/farting is funny"
Until you follow through. Nobody's laughing then.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:34 AM on February 5, 2011
Until you follow through. Nobody's laughing then.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:34 AM on February 5, 2011
The word fart is one of the oldest words in the English vocabulary, which suggests that laws prohibiting farting are doomed to foul.
As DU points out above, what does one half of that sentence have to do with the other? I mean, seriously, linking to the etymology of the word on Wikipedia? Is that some sort of justification for posting this "news" story?
And second, the foul/fail pun? Really? This post is stinking up the front page of Metafilter and we know who dealt it!
posted by crossoverman at 4:52 AM on February 5, 2011
As DU points out above, what does one half of that sentence have to do with the other? I mean, seriously, linking to the etymology of the word on Wikipedia? Is that some sort of justification for posting this "news" story?
And second, the foul/fail pun? Really? This post is stinking up the front page of Metafilter and we know who dealt it!
posted by crossoverman at 4:52 AM on February 5, 2011
laws prohibiting farting are doomed to foul.
Malawi is a small, landlocked country whose nickname is "The Warm Heart of Africa" for reasons one may only guess, and which is now famous for its winds. They may have their reasons for wanting to discourage public flatulence.
posted by pracowity at 5:17 AM on February 5, 2011
Malawi is a small, landlocked country whose nickname is "The Warm Heart of Africa" for reasons one may only guess, and which is now famous for its winds. They may have their reasons for wanting to discourage public flatulence.
posted by pracowity at 5:17 AM on February 5, 2011
He who smelt it dealt it
He who denied it supplied it.
C'mon people - you can't quote the law without the all the relevant clauses.
posted by plinth at 5:30 AM on February 5, 2011
He who denied it supplied it.
C'mon people - you can't quote the law without the all the relevant clauses.
posted by plinth at 5:30 AM on February 5, 2011
Oh, Malawi. Between the new flag and the farting ban, I'm glad to see that the Parliament is addressing the most important business of the country.
posted by palindromic at 5:57 AM on February 5, 2011
posted by palindromic at 5:57 AM on February 5, 2011
My sister-in-law owns a Great Dane. I think he should be registered as a concealed weapon, if you know what I mean.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:04 AM on February 5, 2011
posted by blue_beetle at 6:04 AM on February 5, 2011
"fahrt" is a very common German word
The Swedish spelling is even more to the point.
posted by Namlit at 6:26 AM on February 5, 2011
The Swedish spelling is even more to the point.
posted by Namlit at 6:26 AM on February 5, 2011
Mmmm. A cold winter day, sitting in a warm house reading fart jokes on Metafilter. This is going to be a wonderful Saturday.
posted by Mcable at 6:34 AM on February 5, 2011
posted by Mcable at 6:34 AM on February 5, 2011
Wiki:"and Polish "pierd" << PIE *perd [break wind loudly] or *pezd [the same, softly],"
...I was just reading this and commented to my Polish wife how its like the Inuit have a bunch of different words for snow.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:15 AM on February 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
...I was just reading this and commented to my Polish wife how its like the Inuit have a bunch of different words for snow.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:15 AM on February 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
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