First, that's a priest punching a woman in the face.
June 21, 2011 6:25 PM Subscribe
8 Filthy Jokes Hidden in Ancient Works of Art, by Cracked.com; NSFW.
This post was deleted for the following reason: eh -- cortex
Thank you for shining a light on that obscure corner of the Internet. Why has cracked.com never been mentioned on Metafilter before?
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:32 PM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:32 PM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
Wow.
posted by fire&wings at 6:35 PM on June 21, 2011
posted by fire&wings at 6:35 PM on June 21, 2011
The art at Denver airport is full of penises! In fact, the whole airport is a penis. With testicles.
[SFW - depending on whether non-gratuitous use of anatomical words such as "penis" are SFW]
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:40 PM on June 21, 2011
[SFW - depending on whether non-gratuitous use of anatomical words such as "penis" are SFW]
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:40 PM on June 21, 2011
Define "ancient."
"Is this something I'd have to own serfs to understand?"
posted by Tomorrowful at 6:50 PM on June 21, 2011
"Is this something I'd have to own serfs to understand?"
posted by Tomorrowful at 6:50 PM on June 21, 2011
Flaming projectile shit is sixteen shades more awesome than diarrhea
I CAN TELL YOU FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THAT THIS IS FALSE
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:51 PM on June 21, 2011 [3 favorites]
I CAN TELL YOU FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THAT THIS IS FALSE
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:51 PM on June 21, 2011 [3 favorites]
Of all the great Cracked articles that have gone up lately you post this instead of, say, 5 Reasons Life Actually Does Get Better or 5 Forgotten Revolutions That Created The Modern World or The 6 Most Disturbingly Evil Birds?
If we could somehow combine Cracked articles with Metafilter comments the Internet would be perfect.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:53 PM on June 21, 2011
If we could somehow combine Cracked articles with Metafilter comments the Internet would be perfect.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:53 PM on June 21, 2011
Oh, silly Cracked.com. Is there any list you can't make into a viral social media link?
posted by crunchland at 6:54 PM on June 21, 2011
posted by crunchland at 6:54 PM on June 21, 2011
Heh, I was just going to say, ignore this and go see the real deal at 'Got Medieval', but desjardins beat me to it. Accept no substitutes!
posted by Flitcraft at 6:56 PM on June 21, 2011
posted by Flitcraft at 6:56 PM on June 21, 2011
Back before televisions, cell phones, and Twitter, this is how people amused themselves. I am pleased that as a culture and a species we have moved away from this silliness.
posted by contessa at 6:57 PM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by contessa at 6:57 PM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh Hi, I do Art History almost like a job and you don't have Peeing Through A Hoop?
posted by The Whelk at 7:03 PM on June 21, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 7:03 PM on June 21, 2011 [3 favorites]
I thought, as soon as I saw the title that I could guess at least half of the links. I was right on the Bayeux Tapestry and Billy Shakes' focative case and the Pompeii graffiti, but am astonished that this being Cracked, there was no mention of Eve having just finished blowing Adam up there on the Sistine Ceiling. Does this mean Cracked has more restraint than I do?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:04 PM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:04 PM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
You know, when I want to see 'X most Y in Z' type posts from a blog like cracked.com, I can just add it to my feed reader. SLYT videos are one thing because you could watch youtube for a year and not find some obscure delight, and likewise hidden treasures of the blogosphere and web may well be deserving of a single-link post.
But FPPs pointing to Cracked, or TMZ, or the Daily Fail? Thanks, but no thanks. This is crap.
posted by anigbrowl at 7:04 PM on June 21, 2011
But FPPs pointing to Cracked, or TMZ, or the Daily Fail? Thanks, but no thanks. This is crap.
posted by anigbrowl at 7:04 PM on June 21, 2011
There is something to be said about the lack of art literacy, narrative paintings were meant to be read, with a host of complex and not so complex symbols to guide the reader into understanding the scene, which lead to to lots of interesting directions - fancy pants portraits full of references you'd only "get" if you went to the right schools- still lives showing impossible pairings of fruits and flowers to show how talented the artist was - narrative paintings that eplxinaed a moral situation and argument, etc
A lot of the Early Modernism was trying to be free of the weight of narrative and experience paintings as a purely aesthetic form.
posted by The Whelk at 7:07 PM on June 21, 2011
A lot of the Early Modernism was trying to be free of the weight of narrative and experience paintings as a purely aesthetic form.
posted by The Whelk at 7:07 PM on June 21, 2011
Most of medieval paintings, for example, are basically comic strips.
posted by The Whelk at 7:08 PM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 7:08 PM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh hell. Everyone knows about the Sistine Chapel, and how Michelangelo's The Last Judgement has so many dicks in it that they painted fig leaves over them. But he totally missed the one that's staring everyone in the face, one of the most famous images of all time: Eve being interrupted by the Serpent, in the middle of giving Adam a blow job.
posted by charlie don't surf at 7:08 PM on June 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by charlie don't surf at 7:08 PM on June 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
WOW! this is a nice walk down graduate school memory lane. first time cracked.com actually published something worth reading :D
posted by liza at 7:09 PM on June 21, 2011
posted by liza at 7:09 PM on June 21, 2011
But FPPs pointing to Cracked, or TMZ, or the Daily Fail? Thanks, but no thanks. This is crap.
come on. Cracked has got awesome. It's got David Wong and Seanbaby, and there's a nice mix of historical articles, pop culture stuff, and pure heartwarming 'slice of life' stories. It's what Something Awful was 10 years ago.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:10 PM on June 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
come on. Cracked has got awesome. It's got David Wong and Seanbaby, and there's a nice mix of historical articles, pop culture stuff, and pure heartwarming 'slice of life' stories. It's what Something Awful was 10 years ago.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:10 PM on June 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
And a lot of Renascence work was WOW LOOKIT HOW GREAT I CAN RENDER and THIS TOTALLY PROVES THIS GEOMETRIC THEORY I WROTE ABOUT or PERSPECTIVE I IS LIKE MAGIC LOOK HOW WELL I CAN ALIGN VANISHING POINTS.
posted by The Whelk at 7:10 PM on June 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 7:10 PM on June 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
r-e-n-a-i-s-s-a-n-c-e. And, just for good measure, m-e-d-i-e-v-a-l.
posted by crunchland at 7:14 PM on June 21, 2011
posted by crunchland at 7:14 PM on June 21, 2011
Oh hell, richochet beat me to it, he even used the same link I did. I was hunting for a pic while he was hitting the Post Comment button.
posted by charlie don't surf at 7:14 PM on June 21, 2011
posted by charlie don't surf at 7:14 PM on June 21, 2011
Oh hell, richochet beat me to it, he even used the same link I did.
No worries. You never know when a good working knowledge of classical images of fellatio will come in handy.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:16 PM on June 21, 2011
No worries. You never know when a good working knowledge of classical images of fellatio will come in handy.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:16 PM on June 21, 2011
If you want like, hidden erotic content Manet's Olympia fits, to modern viewer's it's some naked girl but to comtporary views it was CLEARLY a WHORE and that was NOT OKAY.
posted by The Whelk at 7:20 PM on June 21, 2011
posted by The Whelk at 7:20 PM on June 21, 2011
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The Eleventy-Seven Most Mind-Blowingly Inaccurate Facts in Cracked.com’s “8 Filthy Jokes Hidden in Ancient Works of Art”
posted by desjardins at 6:31 PM on June 21, 2011 [14 favorites]