The United States is my alcoholic brother.
July 13, 2012 2:29 PM Subscribe
"Just like you didn’t realize the weird quirks and nuances of your family until you left and spent time with others, the same is true for country and culture. You often don’t see what’s messed up about your country and culture until you step outside of it." 10 Things Most Americans Don't Know About America.
This post was deleted for the following reason: This isn't that profound an article and isn't going over particularly well. -- restless_nomad
Those are all things that are well-known about America and, indeed, the general human condition.
posted by Aizkolari at 2:34 PM on July 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Aizkolari at 2:34 PM on July 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
Americans are human?
posted by mazola at 2:35 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by mazola at 2:35 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
Huh, I thought "the capitols of all the states" would be on that list.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:35 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:35 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
It's like this Ask Metafilter thread except instead of fascinating and enlightening it's just a string of shitty cliches
posted by theodolite at 2:36 PM on July 13, 2012 [14 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 2:36 PM on July 13, 2012 [14 favorites]
Putting aside my prejudices about this site, based on the banner and the 'attract women' 'Lifestyle Guides' was not easy I can tell you.
As a non-American, it blew my mind when I heard that people could go bankrupt having life-saving surgery, or giving birth. It would never occur to me not to go to the doctor when I was sick, or to the emergency room/A+E if I was ill. I have more medical care than most people and it costs me nothing. Contraception? Nothing. Three prescriptions for expensive medication? £10.40 per month. You should probably be having your heart attacks in the UK.
Other weird American things? You don't pay taxes as you earn. Though you get to somehow reduce your taxes by giving things to charity shops, which would probably have lead to me actually making money over the past four years.
posted by mippy at 2:38 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]
As a non-American, it blew my mind when I heard that people could go bankrupt having life-saving surgery, or giving birth. It would never occur to me not to go to the doctor when I was sick, or to the emergency room/A+E if I was ill. I have more medical care than most people and it costs me nothing. Contraception? Nothing. Three prescriptions for expensive medication? £10.40 per month. You should probably be having your heart attacks in the UK.
Other weird American things? You don't pay taxes as you earn. Though you get to somehow reduce your taxes by giving things to charity shops, which would probably have lead to me actually making money over the past four years.
posted by mippy at 2:38 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]
Other weird American things? You don't pay taxes as you earn.
Yes we do.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 2:40 PM on July 13, 2012
Yes we do.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 2:40 PM on July 13, 2012
#1 makes me think of North Korea, where the people are told that the world admires the Kim family, and paintings depict world leaders putting everything on pause until Kim Jong-Il makes a suggestion.
posted by steinsaltz at 2:40 PM on July 13, 2012
posted by steinsaltz at 2:40 PM on July 13, 2012
"I got to experience no. 4 when I went out with my girl – just by me saying that she was cute and touching her, she would recount later that she remembers how “forward” I was on our first date and how it was something she wasn’t used to."
This seems unusual to me. We don't have 'dating' here, as in you see multiple people until you decide to 'commit' to one and then let them see your underwear. You go to the pub, get drunk, and have vaguely disappointing sex, then repeat until you get married/hate each other.
posted by mippy at 2:40 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]
This seems unusual to me. We don't have 'dating' here, as in you see multiple people until you decide to 'commit' to one and then let them see your underwear. You go to the pub, get drunk, and have vaguely disappointing sex, then repeat until you get married/hate each other.
posted by mippy at 2:40 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]
You do? How come everyone has to file taxes then? Or so it seems. How's it work? Here, if you aren't self-employed, tax just comes out of your salary.
posted by mippy at 2:41 PM on July 13, 2012
posted by mippy at 2:41 PM on July 13, 2012
1. Few People Are Impressed By Us
People are sometimes impressed if you're from Texas, though. Especially Germans it seems from my limited sample size. I've been asked all kinds of broken-english questions about where my ten gallon hat is and how many horses I have. People hate to be told that the person they're talking to doesn't own a ranch.
posted by cmoj at 2:43 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
People are sometimes impressed if you're from Texas, though. Especially Germans it seems from my limited sample size. I've been asked all kinds of broken-english questions about where my ten gallon hat is and how many horses I have. People hate to be told that the person they're talking to doesn't own a ranch.
posted by cmoj at 2:43 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
sorry to be dense, I just burnt my hand making cheese on toast and it FUCKING hurt. I can't face the googling
posted by mippy at 2:44 PM on July 13, 2012
posted by mippy at 2:44 PM on July 13, 2012
You don't pay taxes as you earn.
Yeah, I couldn't figure out if I was misunderstanding that. Taxes are taken out of every paycheck for federal and state taxes automatically at most jobs. We *also* pay yearly income tax if not enough taxes were taken out during the course of the year, or if we were self-employed or for a ton of other reasons. That's also when you can get some back, if you have stuff like deductions for donations to charity.
posted by wending my way at 2:44 PM on July 13, 2012
Yeah, I couldn't figure out if I was misunderstanding that. Taxes are taken out of every paycheck for federal and state taxes automatically at most jobs. We *also* pay yearly income tax if not enough taxes were taken out during the course of the year, or if we were self-employed or for a ton of other reasons. That's also when you can get some back, if you have stuff like deductions for donations to charity.
posted by wending my way at 2:44 PM on July 13, 2012
God, I despise that "Condescending Wonka" meme thing. It's like a celebration of the worst in Internet smugness.
posted by Pope Xanax IV at 2:44 PM on July 13, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by Pope Xanax IV at 2:44 PM on July 13, 2012 [5 favorites]
Even when they’re interested and go on dates with me, they get a bit disoriented when I’m so blunt with my interest.
Or, possibly, they are put off by your creepy behavior?
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:45 PM on July 13, 2012 [6 favorites]
Or, possibly, they are put off by your creepy behavior?
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:45 PM on July 13, 2012 [6 favorites]
You do? How come everyone has to file taxes then? Or so it seems. How's it work? Here, if you aren't self-employed, tax just comes out of your salary.
Americans file taxes to assess if you've paid enough (out of your wages/salary) through the year or not. If no, you owe some more. If yes, you get a refund.
posted by scody at 2:45 PM on July 13, 2012
Americans file taxes to assess if you've paid enough (out of your wages/salary) through the year or not. If no, you owe some more. If yes, you get a refund.
posted by scody at 2:45 PM on July 13, 2012
I'm not quite sure who that website is aimed at, but it doesn't seem to be Mefites. Maybe guys at the tail end of their 20s who are starting to grow up, but not quite there yet?
posted by Kevin Street at 2:46 PM on July 13, 2012
posted by Kevin Street at 2:46 PM on July 13, 2012
Or, possibly, they are put off by your creepy behavior?
The point is that "creepy behavior" is culturally specific. What's "creepy" here could be peachy somewhere else.
posted by grobstein at 2:46 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
The point is that "creepy behavior" is culturally specific. What's "creepy" here could be peachy somewhere else.
posted by grobstein at 2:46 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
I read the follow two comments, as the second replying to the first:
You go to the pub, get drunk, and have vaguely disappointing sex, then repeat until you get married/hate each other.
You do? How come everyone has to file taxes then?
Anyway...yeah, the dating thing was always something I didn't really get about America, as an Australia. So, you go out to dinner with people and stuff? You don't just get pissed at a pub and end up in bed with someone? How...civilized...
posted by Jimbob at 2:47 PM on July 13, 2012
You go to the pub, get drunk, and have vaguely disappointing sex, then repeat until you get married/hate each other.
You do? How come everyone has to file taxes then?
Anyway...yeah, the dating thing was always something I didn't really get about America, as an Australia. So, you go out to dinner with people and stuff? You don't just get pissed at a pub and end up in bed with someone? How...civilized...
posted by Jimbob at 2:47 PM on July 13, 2012
Huh, I thought "the capitols of all the states" would be on that list.
Capitols? Try naming all the states. No, seriously. TRY IT.
A friend and I did this one night over dinner. There were three of us, total, with over fifty years combined living in the US and we got to 49 within ten minutes - it took us another half an hour to remember Michigan.
posted by sonika at 2:47 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]
Capitols? Try naming all the states. No, seriously. TRY IT.
A friend and I did this one night over dinner. There were three of us, total, with over fifty years combined living in the US and we got to 49 within ten minutes - it took us another half an hour to remember Michigan.
posted by sonika at 2:47 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]
Ten obvious assertions dumb idiots who might actually benefit from absorbing them won't bother to look at especially when they come from something called postmasculine what is that some kind of gay thing?
posted by nanojath at 2:47 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by nanojath at 2:47 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
11. Americans are all completely unaware that massive generalisations are unreliable.
posted by tigrefacile at 2:49 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by tigrefacile at 2:49 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
Native Americans were wiped out by a plague (not us),
Is that so? Tell me more. 70% snark, 30% chance I was unaware of the coincidental plague that was not brought over from Europe.
Mippy - people in the US (and Australia) have taxes taken out automatically, but there are a whole bunch of deductions and shit that you can have that change the number you end up owing for the year. It is quite possible to file a tax return but not have to make any payments with it.
I kind of wonder with this guy if he spent much time in Western Europe, specifically England/Australia. A lot of this sounds common to all those places.
posted by jacalata at 2:49 PM on July 13, 2012
Is that so? Tell me more. 70% snark, 30% chance I was unaware of the coincidental plague that was not brought over from Europe.
Mippy - people in the US (and Australia) have taxes taken out automatically, but there are a whole bunch of deductions and shit that you can have that change the number you end up owing for the year. It is quite possible to file a tax return but not have to make any payments with it.
I kind of wonder with this guy if he spent much time in Western Europe, specifically England/Australia. A lot of this sounds common to all those places.
posted by jacalata at 2:49 PM on July 13, 2012
As a non-American, it blew my mind when I heard that people could go bankrupt having life-saving surgery, or giving birth
The UK would be exactly like the US if it hadn't been knocked off its perch during the 20th century, I think being Number 1 is insulation against the reflexive self assessment that creates institutions like a National Health Service or thinking about notions like a liveable work/life balance.
posted by brilliantmistake at 2:49 PM on July 13, 2012
The UK would be exactly like the US if it hadn't been knocked off its perch during the 20th century, I think being Number 1 is insulation against the reflexive self assessment that creates institutions like a National Health Service or thinking about notions like a liveable work/life balance.
posted by brilliantmistake at 2:49 PM on July 13, 2012
You do? How come everyone has to file taxes then? Or so it seems. How's it work? Here, if you aren't self-employed, tax just comes out of your salary.
For normal employees, you have taxes taken out of your paycheck. You file taxes at the end of the year to account for things that were not foreseen earlier. For example. if you're earning $100,000/year, you'll be taxed at a higher rate than someone making $25,000 year, but if you lose your job three months into the year and don't get another one for the rest of the year, you'll have been taxed too highly on your income for the first part of the year (because you were taxed as if you'd make $100k, but you only made $25k), so you'll get a refund at the end of the year.
Or you can have investments that have special tax rules applied to them, that aren't necessarily taxed as soon as they're sold, because there are tax-free things you can do with the money, like re-invest it, in which case no tax is owed, but tax *is* owed if you just keep the cash.
You file taxes at the end of the year to rectify all of these things. For most normal employees, this is actually pretty straightforward.
From my last paycheck, I had the following things deducted:
Social Security: $255.15
Medicare: $88.09
California Disability Insurance: $60.70
Federal Income Tax: $866.07
California Income Tax: $345.70
Health Insurance: $139.14
Dental Insurance: $31.18
Vision Insurance: $4.57
Total: $1790.65
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 2:50 PM on July 13, 2012
For normal employees, you have taxes taken out of your paycheck. You file taxes at the end of the year to account for things that were not foreseen earlier. For example. if you're earning $100,000/year, you'll be taxed at a higher rate than someone making $25,000 year, but if you lose your job three months into the year and don't get another one for the rest of the year, you'll have been taxed too highly on your income for the first part of the year (because you were taxed as if you'd make $100k, but you only made $25k), so you'll get a refund at the end of the year.
Or you can have investments that have special tax rules applied to them, that aren't necessarily taxed as soon as they're sold, because there are tax-free things you can do with the money, like re-invest it, in which case no tax is owed, but tax *is* owed if you just keep the cash.
You file taxes at the end of the year to rectify all of these things. For most normal employees, this is actually pretty straightforward.
From my last paycheck, I had the following things deducted:
Social Security: $255.15
Medicare: $88.09
California Disability Insurance: $60.70
Federal Income Tax: $866.07
California Income Tax: $345.70
Health Insurance: $139.14
Dental Insurance: $31.18
Vision Insurance: $4.57
Total: $1790.65
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 2:50 PM on July 13, 2012
One thing that is readily apparent to a non-American like me is that the tax system there is far too complicated, and will end up devouring any conversation in which it is referenced.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:51 PM on July 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by KokuRyu at 2:51 PM on July 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
In dating, when I find a woman attractive, I almost always walk right up to her and tell her that a) I wanted to meet her, and b) she’s beautiful. In America, women usually get incredibly nervous and confused when I do this. . . Whereas, in almost every other culture approaching women this way is met with a confident smile and a “Thank you.”
Really? You don't say, Mr. Sophisticated Expat. Tell me more about what cold, heartless, inflexible American women like me could learn from our cheerful sisters all over the world. I've never heard such a thing before.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:52 PM on July 13, 2012 [8 favorites]
Really? You don't say, Mr. Sophisticated Expat. Tell me more about what cold, heartless, inflexible American women like me could learn from our cheerful sisters all over the world. I've never heard such a thing before.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:52 PM on July 13, 2012 [8 favorites]
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posted by nathancaswell at 2:32 PM on July 13, 2012