"History, a record of things left behind by past generations, started in 1815."

September 3, 2012 5:47 PM

In the 1400 hundreds most Englishmen were perpendicular. A class of yeowls arose. Finally, Europe caught the Black Death. The bubonic plague is a social disease in the sense that it can be transmitted by intercourse and other etceteras. It was spread from port to port by inffected rats. Victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. The plague also helped the emergance of the English language as the national language of England, France and Italy.

— A History of the Past: 'Life Reeked With Joy' is a history of Europe from the Middle Ages through World War II as recounted by Professor Anders Henriksson's students.
posted by Kattullus (9 comments total)

These crazy answers to history tests have been around for a long time. I remember hearing from one teacher about how students wrote about Carthage's involvement in the Pubic Wars and Pope Urine's role in starting the Crusades. If the student was really dyslexic, you might even get an essay about how Wat Tyler started a penis rebellion.
posted by jonp72 at 5:56 PM on September 3, 2012

another "laughing at these students" posts? ugh. fiamo.
posted by boo_radley at 5:56 PM on September 3, 2012

Well, what I liked about it was that it was combined into a coherentish historical narrative, as opposed to just a collection of quotes.
posted by Kattullus at 6:01 PM on September 3, 2012

Metafilter: [insert any line from this essay here]
posted by painquale at 6:02 PM on September 3, 2012

Ah, the old comedic device of arranging things so the key word is the very last: "students." Oldy but a goody. Made the post hella confusing and mildly infuriating to read though.
posted by smcameron at 6:06 PM on September 3, 2012

The line about middle-aged residents of the Middle Ages is literally from Lederer's Anguished English, which itself is a mashup of several unattributed sources (which themselves are, I suspect, inauthentic).

So, yeah, I doubt this was compiled from any real student essays.
posted by Nomyte at 6:08 PM on September 3, 2012

I first thought that this was about The Great Vowel Shift?
posted by ovvl at 6:09 PM on September 3, 2012

Nomyte: The line about middle-aged residents of the Middle Ages is literally from Lederer's Anguished English

Henriksson's article predates Anguished English by four years.

Also, to further defend that essay, the opening line is just about the most perfect encapsulation of the problem with history I've come across: "History, as we know, is always bias, because human beings have to be studied by other human beings, not by independent observers of another species."
posted by Kattullus at 6:13 PM on September 3, 2012

This is awesome, but isn't it a double?
posted by "But who are the Chefs?" at 6:14 PM on September 3, 2012