Baseball Card Vandals
January 26, 2013 9:34 PM Subscribe
Baseball Card Vandals Baseball cards, vandalized. Slightly NSFW.
A for concept, F for execution.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:53 PM on January 26, 2013 [15 favorites]
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:53 PM on January 26, 2013 [15 favorites]
remember when you were a kid and used to scribble and make your fellow 5th graders laugh? This is the web version of that.
posted by milnak at 10:49 PM on January 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by milnak at 10:49 PM on January 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'd love to see what they do with Bill Ripken's card.
posted by ShutterBun at 10:50 PM on January 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by ShutterBun at 10:50 PM on January 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
They seem to get better as you go back. I got a laugh out of Long Gardenhose.
posted by mannequito at 10:59 PM on January 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by mannequito at 10:59 PM on January 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
Judging from the borders these appear to be in that same 1987-1992 era range of baseball cards that I also collected. One could never forget that distinctive Topps '87 wood trim that indicated the rise of incredible card production quantities and the decline of any hope of future value for these cards.
I feel like the card-producing cognoscenti realized that this would be the approximate point in time that the offspring of every Baby Boomer, bitter that their parents or siblings destroyed all their precious Mickey Mantle cards, would be interested in amassing a collection of their own.
Oh, how we cherished all our mint condition wax sleeves filled with Roger Clemenses, Wally Joyners, Wade Boggses, Bo Jacksonses, Mike Greenwells, Mark McGwires, Jose Cansecos, or the Honus-Wagner-like potential of that Ken Griffey Jr. Upper Deck Rookie Card. Sure, we'll buy the whole set (checklist and all)!
But we were too young to understand supply and demand. And soon, as we perused our Baseball Digests and Beckett price lists, we saw the prices plummet. And yet we held on -- we had heard the horror stories. Maybe everyone else's mothers would toss their cards out and ours would rise in value.
At least this guy is being proactive about it and adding some value to those cards!
Keep at it with that Sharpie my good man!
(you are only making my unopened wax packs more valuable)
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 11:25 PM on January 26, 2013 [8 favorites]
I feel like the card-producing cognoscenti realized that this would be the approximate point in time that the offspring of every Baby Boomer, bitter that their parents or siblings destroyed all their precious Mickey Mantle cards, would be interested in amassing a collection of their own.
Oh, how we cherished all our mint condition wax sleeves filled with Roger Clemenses, Wally Joyners, Wade Boggses, Bo Jacksonses, Mike Greenwells, Mark McGwires, Jose Cansecos, or the Honus-Wagner-like potential of that Ken Griffey Jr. Upper Deck Rookie Card. Sure, we'll buy the whole set (checklist and all)!
But we were too young to understand supply and demand. And soon, as we perused our Baseball Digests and Beckett price lists, we saw the prices plummet. And yet we held on -- we had heard the horror stories. Maybe everyone else's mothers would toss their cards out and ours would rise in value.
At least this guy is being proactive about it and adding some value to those cards!
Keep at it with that Sharpie my good man!
(you are only making my unopened wax packs more valuable)
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 11:25 PM on January 26, 2013 [8 favorites]
http://baseballcardhalloffame.tumblr.com/
posted by mullacc at 12:58 AM on January 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by mullacc at 12:58 AM on January 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
I was really hoping these would be like those thrift store paintings that people create new and crazy art on, not lame sharpie bad jokes. :\
posted by usagizero at 12:59 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by usagizero at 12:59 AM on January 27, 2013
If anyone must ask, there was no defacing of the Billy Ripken Fleer card at the factory - he wrote "FUCK FACE" on his own bat to discourage anyone from using it.
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:15 AM on January 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:15 AM on January 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
The terrible execution is what makes these so hilarious.
posted by zsazsa at 1:36 AM on January 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by zsazsa at 1:36 AM on January 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
This Will Be Good is clearly my doppelgänger.
posted by professor plum with a rope at 1:41 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by professor plum with a rope at 1:41 AM on January 27, 2013
To wit: I have like four Wally Joyner rookie cards. And a bunch of Erik Davis as well. I haven't thought about those cards in a long time.
posted by professor plum with a rope at 1:44 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by professor plum with a rope at 1:44 AM on January 27, 2013
Everyone's reaction is 'meh,' but many of these made me actually laugh. Out loud. I guess it says something about me, AND I AM NOT ASHAMED!
This is my favorite
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:00 AM on January 27, 2013 [3 favorites]
This is my favorite
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:00 AM on January 27, 2013 [3 favorites]
Zsazsa hit the nail on the head. The sophomoric, puerile nature of these beholds their charm. You laugh, then you laugh at yourself for having laughed.
Then you laugh again, having finally realized that they succeeded in making you laugh at yourself. It's all very liberating.
posted by ShutterBun at 5:52 AM on January 27, 2013
Then you laugh again, having finally realized that they succeeded in making you laugh at yourself. It's all very liberating.
posted by ShutterBun at 5:52 AM on January 27, 2013
I liked the Amelia Earhart one. At least that moved beyond dick jokes.
posted by arcticseal at 6:34 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by arcticseal at 6:34 AM on January 27, 2013
Robots is the best
posted by nathancaswell at 6:39 AM on January 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by nathancaswell at 6:39 AM on January 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
Btw the execution of these is incredible. Did you see Sasquatch? How about super sac? These are great. It really hits its stride after robots.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:46 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by nathancaswell at 6:46 AM on January 27, 2013
Oh and the horse head one???
posted by nathancaswell at 6:46 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by nathancaswell at 6:46 AM on January 27, 2013
Lamp just made me laugh out loud.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:49 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by nathancaswell at 6:49 AM on January 27, 2013
I think the beauty of these is how they take you back to a time when the guy sitting behind you in 9th grade history class would suddenly, without warning, flip a card like this onto your desk. For the next ten minutes, as you were desperately trying to hide your convulsive laughter, that card would be the most glorious thing in the universe.
posted by davebush at 7:16 AM on January 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by davebush at 7:16 AM on January 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
Billy Ripken, the original and best.
posted by toodleydoodley at 9:00 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by toodleydoodley at 9:00 AM on January 27, 2013
Oh man, these are awesome. I feel bad for neglecting BBCHOF now.
posted by cortex at 9:30 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by cortex at 9:30 AM on January 27, 2013
I didn't know Bill Murray had gone pro.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 9:49 AM on January 27, 2013
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 9:49 AM on January 27, 2013
ShutterBun: "I'd love to see what they do with Bill Ripken's card."
Jesus Christy Mathewson, was I the only one who got that?
posted by notsnot at 11:45 AM on January 27, 2013
Jesus Christy Mathewson, was I the only one who got that?
posted by notsnot at 11:45 AM on January 27, 2013
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posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:49 PM on January 26, 2013