"You know you've really made it in this world when you get Candida."
September 18, 2013 10:19 AM   Subscribe

Surviving Whole Foods (SLHuffPo)
posted by mcstayinskool (10 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: This seems kinda on the thin side. -- cortex



 
Next I approach the beauty aisle. There is a scary looking machine there that you put your face inside of and it tells you exactly how ugly you are. = clearly I do not go into Whole Foods enough because I have never seen this machine! I'm on the prowl now!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:22 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was also wondering about that machine. I asked a friend on Facebook and she said it really does exist. I'm apalled and curious.
posted by Area Man at 10:25 AM on September 18, 2013


They're doing the cleanse where you consume nothing but lemon juice, cayenne pepper and fiber pills for 10 days, what's that one called again?

The Master Cleanse, which people are still doing? Isn't that from the 40s? And as noted, when I did that it wasn't called a "cleanse" it was called "borderline eating disorder that results in fainting."
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on September 18, 2013


it read this earlier and it made me laugh. I've been in whole foods once and while I was impressed with the options and kinds of hot food you could buy for lunch or dinner.. the rest of the place gave me sticker shock.

And while I know that gluten intolerance is a real thing, and I sympathize with those that have it.. that part about not being "rich enough to have dietary restrictions." really made me laugh. That's exactly how it seems. It might not be that you're rich enough to have dietary restrictions. You might be well off enough to have insurance to have a doctor figure out that's what you're intolerant of.

(It bothers me that gluten intolerance is veeeeeeeeeery much a fad right now.)
posted by royalsong at 10:25 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ever notice that you don't meet poor people with special diet needs?

No, I have never noticed this. What an annoying article.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 10:26 AM on September 18, 2013


This writer isn't so much thinking about her actual experience as she is cataloging unfunny thoughts she thought she thought.
posted by mochapickle at 10:27 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


Sorry, but it's spelled "jizzed".
posted by josher71 at 10:28 AM on September 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


I feel like I have read this article once every three months for the past 8-10 years. I mean, mock Whole Foods all you like, but, if you can't say anything new, maybe don't kill all those pixels?
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:28 AM on September 18, 2013


Why on earth do they say namaste? is it a yoga related thing, or a hippie thing or is it owned by Indians? weird.
posted by dhruva at 10:29 AM on September 18, 2013


Say what you will about Whole Foods, but the fact that some of them will serve you beer or wine in store while you shop is genius.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:30 AM on September 18, 2013


« Older We spent $100 billion and all we got is a space...   |   Closure Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments