"What a bunch of a-holes."
February 19, 2014 5:00 AM Subscribe

Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy releases its first trailer.
posted by Kitteh (415 comments total) 29 users marked this as a favorite

When they first announced that Chris Pratt was going to be the lead in this, I was excited (the guy is a legitimate comic genius on Parks & Rec) but also a bit skeptical that he could transfer his talents to something a bit more seriously intended. I am now happy to say that this is no longer a concern. MACKLIN, YOU SONUVABITCH.
posted by Strange Interlude at 5:08 AM on February 19, 2014 [13 favorites]

I don't care if it's just two hours of Bert Macklin, FBI...IN SPACE, I'm so totally there.

Also: DC/WB is all like "Wonder Woman's too confusing for a movie!" and Marvel/Disney is all like "Here's a raccoon with a machine gun"
posted by zombieflanders at 5:12 AM on February 19, 2014 [71 favorites]

Yay, a Farscape movie, finally!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:12 AM on February 19, 2014 [34 favorites]

This looks awesome. I'm getting a (very pleasant) Fifth Element flashback. I love everybody involved in this project.

Even though it's a gajillion-dollar movie made by Disney/Marvel, a weird part of me keeps thinking about this as the "little project that could". Part of me worries if the world is ready to get silly again...after so much Nolan-inspired grimdark in the world, can a blockbuster take off when it's directed by James Gunn, the property is relatively obscure, and it also contains a trigger-happy raccoon?

I mean, I feel like the trailer editors had to work overtime to have this movie make sense as a product to sell. Space aliens...main character isn't a major star...raccoon...tree...Boston...

Meaningless, optimistic data point: my wife doesn't read comics at all, but she's super pumped for this.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:13 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

I'M HIGH ON BELIEVIN'
posted by nicebookrack at 5:16 AM on February 19, 2014 [9 favorites]

I don't care if it's just two hours of Bert Macklin, FBI...IN SPACE, I'm so totally there.

We're obviously different people because I profoundly care about whether or not it's two hours of Bert Macklin, FBI in space; that's the difference between seeing it and being there opening day.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:17 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

I'M HIGH ON BELIEVIN'

Reintroducing that song to popular culture is a crime against humanity. Which heroes will save us?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:20 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Even though it's a gajillion-dollar movie made by Disney/Marvel, a weird part of me keeps thinking about this as the "little project that could".

I think a serendipitous result of Marvel Studios not having rights to all their own characters (Spider-Man, X-Men) is that they've had to pull from their more obscure properties. Art can work better within limits.
posted by nicebookrack at 5:21 AM on February 19, 2014 [28 favorites]

Am I the only one who half-expected that whole ID parade to snap into a perfectly-choreographed dance routine as the end music started?
posted by Paul Slade at 5:22 AM on February 19, 2014 [14 favorites]

I'm still shocked that Marvel decided to dig this deep in their catalog this early. Sure, Sony has the rights to the three biggest properties (Spider-Man, X-Men, Fantastic Four) as well as a bunch of smaller ones, but I would have predicted a Cloak and Dagger movie or a Runaways movie before Guardians of the Galaxy, let alone Doctor Strange or Ant-Man.
posted by painquale at 5:23 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

I'm excited about this, because James Gunn, and I'm even more excited because Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel as Raccoon/Walkingtreeoid tag team.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:23 AM on February 19, 2014

Okay. I'm sold. If this is as big a hit as the Lego movie, we could be in for a new golden age of huge, goofy spectacles throwing all kinds of crazy crap on the screen just for the glory of it. What a breath of fresh air.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:25 AM on February 19, 2014 [32 favorites]

Even though, as a Nova fan, I'm mildly scandalized by what they've done to the uniform, John C. Reilly is always a good sign. Maybe they'll sex it up a bit if Nova ever makes an appearance.

I would have predicted a Cloak and Dagger movie or a Runaways movie

Well, the problem with putting teen heroes on the screen is that, if the franchise is successful, you've got a few years between movies and suddenly they're not teens any more, and besides, there are plenty of teens-with-powers things out there.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:29 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

I assume that they want to start building towards an Infinity Gauntlet movie, which means they need a cosmic-level movie to set it up. Sony has the Fantastic Four (Galactus, the Silver Surfer, Uatu, Skrulls, etc.) as well as the X-men (Kree, Shi'ar, Brood, Phoenix Force, etc.), so Marvel's hand was forced.

They could have also done an Inhumans movie, unless Sony has the rights to some of them as well. I really liked the idea I saw floated somewhere that an Inhumans movie or TV show could be about different Royal Houses, Game of Thrones-style, warring on the moon.
posted by painquale at 5:31 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

"Hey everybody, let's make a movie where a sentient tree voiced by Vin Diesel isn't even the character people will make the most jokes about!" is an impulse I am forced to support with all of my heart and a bit of my money.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:32 AM on February 19, 2014 [34 favorites]

"Visual Guide to Marvel Character Movie Rights" Infographic by The Geek Twins [Infographic]

Test footage of Rocket Raccoon and Groot.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:40 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

Please don't suck, please don't suck, please don't suck.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 5:41 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

Is that the Collector (from Thor 2) in one of the snapshots? Roughly here at 1m59.
posted by bookdragoness at 5:41 AM on February 19, 2014

Yes, that's the Collector in the cool shades.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:43 AM on February 19, 2014

The collector was in Thor 2 to set up GOTG.
posted by jscalzi at 5:43 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

I am excite.
posted by Mezentian at 5:47 AM on February 19, 2014

They could have also done an Inhumans movie, unless Sony has the rights to some of them as well. I really liked the idea I saw floated somewhere that an Inhumans movie or TV show could be about different Royal Houses, Game of Thrones-style, warring on the moon.

Yeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss let this creation live.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:50 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

I would have predicted a Cloak and Dagger movie or a Runaways movie

I have some bad news for you... Runaways was on the slate, but when they realised an Avengers movie was even possible, Runaways got axed.

Personally, I think Runaways would work better as a tv series anyway.
posted by Mezentian at 5:50 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

Omg. August? I have to be patient till August?
posted by Twain Device at 5:50 AM on February 19, 2014

They could have also done an Inhumans movie

It has been talked about, and I gather the baffling Inhumanity event in the comics recently was a part of that.
posted by Mezentian at 5:51 AM on February 19, 2014

Did somebody say Hooked on a Feeling?

Also between Parks and Rec and the Lego Movie I would pay money to watch Chris Pratt paint a room for two hours. The fact that this happens to look excellent anyway is just gravy.
posted by Itaxpica at 5:52 AM on February 19, 2014 [6 favorites]

Chris Pratt is LIT-TRA-LEE the funniest actor working today.
posted by gwint at 5:53 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

As someone who's skipped to video for the last few Marvel releases, that Raccoon is ridiculous enough to get me in a seat.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 5:54 AM on February 19, 2014

This is going to be a RIDICULOUSLY good year for Chris Pratt.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 5:54 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Meet Oreo, the Adorable Model for Rocket Raccoon in Guardians of the Galaxy

OMG HIS LITTLE PAW-HANDS AND HIS LITTLE FURRY FAAAAACE

I will cry bitter tears if I can't be in Atlanta in August so I can see Rocket with my local raccoon rehabber buddy.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:09 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

Peter Serafinowicz is the best.
posted by supercres at 6:10 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

I'm trying to work out why I love this so much (because, the trailer is actually kinda "eh" as these things go. And it is that Farscape weirdness, The Fifth Element comedy, and some big damn heroes like Firefly gave us.

It is kinda the little film that good (mega budget aside), and it comes across as a project of passion. It's not a "lazy" hit like Thor or Captain America or the X-Men.

Bleeding Cool has some plot details here, and breaks down the trailer scene by scene.
posted by Mezentian at 6:10 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

I just want to point out that in addition to Karen Gillan as a space pirate, the movie well feature Lee Pace as a main villain. I am so looking forward to this, and "gun-happy raccoon riding Vin Diesel as a tree" might not even be the biggest reason why.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 6:11 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Looks fun. It would be nice to an action movie that's not all self-serious/grim-dark.
posted by octothorpe at 6:13 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

The only iffy part is that Starlord seems like he's channeling Seann William Scott in The Rundown. (I am unfamiliar with Pratt's other work, so maybe that's his thing too?)

Other than that: looks interesting! Have zero idea about this comic but am perfectly happy to go see it.
posted by curious nu at 6:20 AM on February 19, 2014

...in addition to Karen Gillan as a space pirate...

Wait. What?
I just might go into a theater for the first time in 10 years.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:20 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm trying to work out why I love this so much...

It's not pretending to be dark, deep or have some higher meaning. It IS pretending to be a fun romp with various weird quasi heroes who probably shouldn't be hanging together.

It's The Avengers in space, with a talking raccoon and tree.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:20 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

I just want to point out that in addition to Karen Gillan as a space pirate, the movie well feature Lee Pace as a main villain. I am so looking forward to this, and "gun-happy raccoon riding Vin Diesel as a tree" might not even be the biggest reason why.

Chris Pratt, Vin Diesel, Karen Gillian, and a Raccoon? Did they take this movie literally from my dreams without telling me? Did I get drunk and do the casting and forget about it? This sounds like the best thing ever.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:21 AM on February 19, 2014 [18 favorites]

High fives all around.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:24 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Very nice but the producer who wanted "Hooked on a Feeling" should be blacklisted.
posted by davros42 at 6:26 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

...in addition to Karen Gillan as a space pirate...

Wait. What?
I just might go into a theater for the first time in 10 years.

FWIW, she's in the trailer, but with a shaved head and FX makeup. I'm curious and delighted to see her as somebody other than Amy Pond.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:26 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

If by "blacklisted" you mean "lionized", then yes.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:27 AM on February 19, 2014 [19 favorites]

Oddly, Nebula's look in the film reminds me of the time she was bonking Doctor Druid and was in the Kang Kross Time Korps or whatever it was.
posted by Mezentian at 6:27 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Very nice but the producer who wanted "Hooked on a Feeling" should be blacklisted.

INCORRECT - MISTAKEN - YOU HAVE DRUNK AN ENTIRE LIE-VIAL OF FALSE-JUICE

Also, "Hooked on a Feeling" was also used well in Reservoir Dogs.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:28 AM on February 19, 2014 [20 favorites]

An action-comedy in space, it's like it a bespoke movie just for me.
posted by Think_Long at 6:30 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

I hope the love for the Walkman means that Starlord left Earth sometime in the early nineties (that's his only connection to Earth culture - the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack) so when he eventually makes it home (warp drives playing hell with time and space) in the modern era, we get a scene of Captain America trying to introduce Starlord to 2015.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:33 AM on February 19, 2014 [33 favorites]

OBSCENE GESTURE IMMINENT
posted by Aznable at 6:35 AM on February 19, 2014 [11 favorites]

Nice little details in the prison HUD if you watch in HD.
I hope Serafinowicz gets more than just that one scene in the trailer.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:42 AM on February 19, 2014

Best use of "hooked on a feeling" ever.

I had some contact with Gunn back when he was working on Dawn of the Dead, and met him at the premier. I honestly can't recall what the original e/mail exchange was about, but he came across as a seriously nice guy, the fact that, at the time, he was married to Jenna Fisher was an extra point in his favor...

That said, the movie looks like a lot of fun...
posted by HuronBob at 6:47 AM on February 19, 2014

The only iffy part is that Starlord seems like he's channeling Seann William Scott in The Rundown.

Some would see this as an upside.
posted by zombieflanders at 6:48 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

Oddly, Nebula's look in the film reminds me of the time she was bonking Doctor Druid and was in the Kang Kross Time Korps or whatever it was.

Yeah, she even has the weird Kang face-seams or whatever those are supposed to be.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:52 AM on February 19, 2014

Nice little details in the prison HUD if you watch in HD.

Grand Theft Galaxy starring Rocket Raccoon. Come on people.
posted by griphus at 6:59 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

I hope Serafinowicz gets more than just that one scene in the trailer.

I don't think he will be in any scene in the movie. That scene with him and Reilly was shot specifically for the footage shown at Comicon which was then used in this trailer.
posted by aldurtregi at 7:01 AM on February 19, 2014

Or he has mind control over the ants.

That is exactly what he has. Well, it's what he has when he's wearing his anthead-shaped helmet.
posted by painquale at 7:05 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

you know, anytime somebody references "Antman" I start laughing. I just have this image of this guy who blasts evil-doers with fire ants or crazy ants. Or he has mind control over the ants. I dunno, ants crack me up.

That is exactly what he does. The mind control thing, I mean.

I'm actually sort of curious what direction they take that, if it happens, because the character's kind of noteworthy for combining a goofy power with being a kind of not-great person (he's an abusive spouse) and his goofy power being, in part, a way to symbolize his flaws.
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:07 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

YOU HAVE DRUNK AN ENTIRE LIE-VIAL OF FALSE-JUICE

This has replaced Shakespeare's "infinite and endless liar" as my favorite way of calling out untruthliness.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 7:07 AM on February 19, 2014 [7 favorites]

You might laugh at the efficacy of a superhero with ant-control powers, but it's no laughing matter when he commands an entire hill of fire ants to crawl up your pants leg.

FWIW, it looks like Marvel is getting around Hank Pym's character flaws by making the cinematic Ant-Man a different character who steals and/or inherits the tech from an older Pym.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:11 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm actually sort of curious what direction they take that, if it happens, because the character's kind of noteworthy for combining a goofy power with being a kind of not-great person (he's an abusive spouse) and his goofy power being, in part, a way to symbolize his flaws.

*POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT*

The rumors suggest that the movie will largely be about Scott Lang, not Henry Pym. Still not a particularly good guy with the burgling (although it's been retconned into a Les Mis situation with his daughter), but not an abusive asshole. I'm still not convinced on Paul Rudd as Lang, but Michael Douglas as Pym seems about right to me.
posted by zombieflanders at 7:12 AM on February 19, 2014

From the Bleeding Cool trailer article: After the characters break out, they venture to Knowhere (the severed head of a celestial being that serves as a hangout for aliens)

Oh man seeing a Celestial on screen, even just the severed head that serves as Knowhere, is like the giddy icing on my excitement cake.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:14 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

They don't say Cosmo is there, but they also don't say he isn't.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 7:16 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

I hope this movie does well enough that when DC finally gets its shit together and tries to reboot Green Lantern, everyone will be all, "The Green Lantern Corps? What a rip-off of the Nova Corps!"
posted by painquale at 7:17 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

The only iffy part is that Starlord seems like he's channeling Seann William Scott in The Rundown.

Sean Williams Scott has been in a lot of terrible roles. That was not one of them - The Rundown was a lot better than it had any right to be, and the chemistry between the leads is why Duane "The Rock" Johnson is still getting roles despite casting directors knowing better.

And Starlord is totally rocking an '80s pair of Walkman 'phones.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:18 AM on February 19, 2014 [6 favorites]

Very nice but the producer who wanted "Hooked on a Feeling" should be blacklisted.

The last guy who did that was Tarantino and look what happened to him.

I'm sort of Meh on this, but we'll see. It's no Ice Pirates.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 7:25 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Kotaku: It's An Outstanding Year To Be A Homicidal Raccoon Fan.
posted by zarq at 7:28 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

It's not one series - each character gets their own, leading up to a Defenders team-up.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 7:29 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ah. Makes sense.
posted by zarq at 7:29 AM on February 19, 2014

I enjoyed The Rundown! It just seems like the exact same character, and it feels weird, since they even have the same sort of scruffy look.
posted by curious nu at 7:29 AM on February 19, 2014

Another positive trend:

-Big budget movie
-with a high-tech prison
-and the key prisoner is not a smug villain with a plan.
posted by Iridic at 7:35 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

Chris Pratt as Star-Lord with a heaping helping of Han Solo/Indiana Jones is about the most perfect POV character choice to introduce the cosmic side of Marvel they could have made.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:36 AM on February 19, 2014 [12 favorites]

"In other Marvel news, the comic book characters Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist and Jessica Jones are all set to get their own Netflix mini-series sometime in 2015, before banding together for a team-up show called The Defenders."

I vaguely remember the arc where Murdock hires Jones and Cage as bodyguards. I assume that's what the mini-series will be about?

Honestly and truly, I hope it's tragicomic romantic drama about Luke Cage and Jessica Jones trying to figure out their relationship while also defeating mobsters and other bad guys and then there's this baby and I want it to be 7 billion seasons long and slowly take on more and more of the Marvel universe, but focus on all the ridiculous boring shit like babysitting a superhero's baby, and finding a job that provides good health care with dental because even though you have totally bulletproof skin, you still gotta sort out those wisdom teeth, and knowing how easy it would be to "find" that evidence that could nail this guy to the wall, but the whole chain-of-custody thing is such a bitch...

Come on, Netflix. They let us down with Agents of SHIELD, give us a show that has superheroes and reality in one luscious lumpy mess of awesome.

Keep the crazy aliens and walking trees and what-the-fuck-ever on the big screen - it looks so much better there.
posted by Katemonkey at 7:36 AM on February 19, 2014 [6 favorites]

Come on, Netflix. They let us down with Agents of SHIELD, give us a show that has superheroes and reality in one luscious lumpy mess of awesome.

It's gotten better and is bringing in more superpeeps.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:50 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

I don't know the Guardian's comic, but with a raccoon character, is it too much to ask for a Howard the Duck cameo?
posted by xtian at 7:54 AM on February 19, 2014 [22 favorites]

I grasp the concept of first-season training wheels but considering that they're not exactly building a universe from scratch, the last 2-3 episodes of SHIELD should have been the first 2-3 episodes and the season taken from there.
posted by griphus at 7:55 AM on February 19, 2014

Only if they killed off Skye.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:56 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Is it worth trying to get through the whole season of AoS if you dropped out after episode 2, or could you start with the last few and 5 minutes of Wikipedia and be good to go?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:57 AM on February 19, 2014

Never really cared for Marvel's cosmic/space stuff, and I haven't heard of GotG, but this looks awesome. I'll be all over this like silver on Norrin Radd.
posted by entropicamericana at 7:57 AM on February 19, 2014

I never ever thought I'd see the day when we have a live-action Rocket Raccoon.

I think I'm a little choked up.
posted by xingcat at 7:57 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

Very nice but the producer who wanted "Hooked on a Feeling" should be blacklisted.

Oh, I disagree. Letting the "ooga-chaka" run through the action montage was genius. I know zilch about Guardians of the Galaxy, but so far I'm excited.
posted by schoolgirl report at 7:58 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

I dropped AoS around ep 6. Is it worth starting up again? Which episode should I dive back in on?
posted by Think_Long at 7:58 AM on February 19, 2014

Better version of the "obscene gesture" GIF.
posted by entropicamericana at 8:00 AM on February 19, 2014 [12 favorites]

...or could you start with the last few and 5 minutes of Wikipedia and be good to go?

Yeah, just take it from episode 10 or 11. I've seen every episode so far and those are the ones I can actually recall enjoying.
posted by griphus at 8:00 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

Is it worth trying to get through the whole season of AoS if you dropped out after episode 2...

Start with episode 10, The Bridge, and catch up, Wiking whatever background info you need or what.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:01 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm stoked about the Iron Fist Netflix show more than any other Marvel Studios production. It'll surely be based on the Brubaker Kun Lun run, which is a perfect comics run, and I love movies and TV shows that are structured around a single-elimination tournament. All of the Immortal Weapons are such great characters. Fat Cobra! Bride of Nine Spiders!

They'd just better make Danny Rand Asian.
posted by painquale at 8:05 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

I am so, so happy Marvel has decided to make its Cosmic setting as goofy as humanly possible.
posted by The Whelk at 8:05 AM on February 19, 2014 [7 favorites]

"Humanly"?
posted by valkyryn at 8:06 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Treey?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:08 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

If we get a live action Fat Cobra I may explode.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:13 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

It'll surely be based on the Brubaker Kun Lun run, which is a perfect comics run...

Oh, man, that would be awesome. I'd love to see someone like Patrick Warburton playing it totally straight as Orson Randall.
posted by griphus at 8:13 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

I think a serendipitous result of Marvel Studios not having rights to all their own characters (Spider-Man, X-Men) is that they've had to pull from their more obscure properties.

One major advantage being they couldn't go the lazy ass Bendis route of having Wolverine and Spidey in the Avengers movies.

What annoys me about the Guardians of the Galaxy movie btw is that it's based on the work of Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning and when the movie was announced Marvel was quick to reload the title, only to get Bendis to write it.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:19 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

AoS has been officially regulated to Oh No You Don't You're Not Tricking Me Again status in our household. I am sure I will catch up well after the inaugural season has runs its course but I am still suffering from crushing disappointment that they made the show so effing dull.

But I love that we're all excited about GotG, especially it seems like a lot of us have been dreaming about seeing Rocket Raccoon.
posted by Kitteh at 8:24 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

One major advantage being they couldn't go the lazy ass Bendis route of having Wolverine and Spidey in the Avengers movies.

I remember when I was growing up, the Avengers were terminally uncool. Earth's Mightiest Heroes, featuring Tigra, Starfox, Dr. Druid, Captain Marvel, Mockingbird, etc? You've got to be kidding me.
posted by entropicamericana at 8:27 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Bald space pirate Karen Gillan
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 8:28 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

If you love Rocket Raccoon, raccoons in general, or just the Platonic ideal of jet-pack-wearing, sass-talkin', tiny-mammal space criminals, please consider contributing to the ongoing care of its creator, Bill Mantlo, who was struck by a car in the early '90s and suffered traumatic brain damage.
posted by Shepherd at 8:29 AM on February 19, 2014 [38 favorites]

is it too much to ask for a Howard the Duck cameo

Only if they bring in Obnoxio along with him...

"Yeah, I'm bitter. Yeah, I like the sauce and I'm a little quick to think things through with my fists. But as bad as it gets, you can always depend on me. Look, I ain't the clown you want. I'm the clown you need."
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:30 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, Nthing everyone going OMG ITS FARSCAPE cause, right now to the super attractive square jaw doofus in a leather jacket.

I am not complaining about any of that.
posted by The Whelk at 8:32 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Can we just get Marvel to buy Detective Chimp from DC so someone will actually make a movie with him?
posted by jason_steakums at 8:32 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Agents of SHIELD disappointed me by revealing Tahiti without triggering my latent Skrull programming. Now the mystery is "What's up with Skye?" That's only partly mitigated by an episode of badassery including Simmons wrestling with a live grenade, and May laughing at the man who just stabbed her with a knife, because she's going to kill him with it.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 8:34 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

(What would be awesome is a hero that's a Skrull Cow going undercover as human to fight for bovines.)
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 8:37 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Bald space pirate Karen Gillan

See, this is a proper role for someone best known for being a Doctor Who companion. At least it makes more sense than making Billie Piper the lead in a low-budget pastiche of Mansfield Park. Christ on a stick, was that horrible.
posted by Naberius at 8:39 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

I don't think he will be in any scene in the movie. That scene with him and Reilly was shot specifically for the footage shown at Comicon which was then used in this trailer.

Well shit, I guess I won't go see this after all.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:42 AM on February 19, 2014

I am quietly excited for this; I hope they end up in Know where and shout outs to everyone who knows where that is. Also Can we get this to the point where "The Greatest Space Knight" gets a shout out too? You'd hear my reaction EVERYWHERE
posted by NiteMayr at 8:43 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

On a side note about Agents of Shield; it only got interesting when they brought on Dethlok. Until then it was a pretty bland police procedural. Almost Human does the Police Procedural with SciFi better Marvel and they have some kind of Right Wing douche writing that; I mean "Smart Houses as an alegory for Guns" and a Color Swapped Treyvon Martin Story wrapped in an Anti-Anonymous screed" manufique, super Rightwing douchy!
posted by NiteMayr at 8:46 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

I said this on facebook, but Rocket is basically all of my love for the cheesy violent action heroes of the 80's blended with my obsessive childhood reading of Ranger Rick.

So... yeah.
posted by drewbage1847 at 8:47 AM on February 19, 2014 [9 favorites]

I would also like to add that, as a fan of Everwood from way back and the world's biggest Parks and Recreation booster this side of Amy Poehler, I would like to thank Hollywood for making Chris Pratt the big star I always thought he should be. For that reason alone, I was going to be a booster for this movie, and here's hoping it will continue to be an easy job.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:48 AM on February 19, 2014 [6 favorites]

I gave up on Sheld a month ago, should I go back.
posted by octothorpe at 8:50 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Agents of SHIELD needs to set up the Agents of Atlas as a competing organization. I would watch religiously.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:50 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

So this isn't the Marvel space team with Cyclops' dad?
posted by pseudocode at 8:51 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

People like raccoons? Raccoons are evil incarnate. I cannot cheer for a rocket wielding raccoon.

That said this movie looks awesome.
posted by samhyland at 8:51 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

Almost Human does the Police Procedural with SciFi better Marvel and they have some kind of Right Wing douche writing that

But it also has Karl Urban threatening people with the cubes and getting into Olympic Snark-Offs with Michael Ealy.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:56 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

So this isn't the Marvel space team with Cyclops' dad?

No, those are the Starjammers which I don't think can appear in an Avengers-universe movie because they're tied too closely to the X-Men.
posted by griphus at 8:58 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

Bald space pirate Karen Gillan...explains why her head was shaved during all of those Matt Smith retrospective interviews.
posted by Renoroc at 8:59 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

So this isn't the Marvel space team with Cyclops' dad?

Nope, but they play in the same sandbox, as it were. The Shi'ar, the Kree (Lee Pace is one!), Adam Friggin' Warlock...
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:00 AM on February 19, 2014

James Gunn breaks down the trailer.

"There is no doubt that the cinematic pinnacle of my career is our cameras circling around a maniacal raccoon shooting a machine gun on the back of a living tree. And I say this with as much modesty as I can muster ... but it just may be the pinnacle of cinema in general."
posted by painquale at 9:00 AM on February 19, 2014 [26 favorites]

I don't care if it sucks, it's going to be good in spite of that.
posted by marxchivist at 9:01 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Not just a living tree, but Vin Treesel. I am constantly cracking up that they cast him just to yell "I am Groot!"
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:03 AM on February 19, 2014 [14 favorites]

Just to pick nits, for the record, "living" is the normal state for a tree.
posted by Naberius at 9:05 AM on February 19, 2014 [14 favorites]

I feel like Star-Lord is going to be another variation on the really effective thing I see in Sterling Archer, where he's a kind of Captain Marvel fantasy to the Billy Batson of a type of 1980's kid. Where Archer pulls all his conceptions of what a grownup is from action movies, Star-Lord gets it from Star Wars and Spielberg action-adventure and (in a meta, non-canonical way) 80's Marvel. It's a really canny tactic, creating a protagonist that resonates not with how childhood excitement and fascination really was, but how it appears that it was now through the self-retconning lens of an adult saturated in pop-cultural awareness and the childhood nostalgia gestalt formed by the similarly tweaked, shared reminiscences of one's peers in a hyper-connected world.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:05 AM on February 19, 2014 [15 favorites]

And I say this with as much modesty as I can muster ... but it just may be the pinnacle of cinema in general.

Somewhere, lounging on a stack of ~~money~~ bad reviews, Kinka Usher feels an uncontrollable urge to grin. Nolan and Snyder can go eat it, this is how superheroes should be done.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:05 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

I just had a vision of a sweat-drenched PA running to the Man of Steel set with a big box marked "FUN" and getting there just as Snyder yells "cut" on the last scene they had to shoot.
posted by griphus at 9:08 AM on February 19, 2014 [30 favorites]

I think a serendipitous result of Marvel Studios not having rights to all their own characters (Spider-Man, X-Men) is that they've had to pull from their more obscure properties.

Yeah, if they still had the X-Men, it would be dragging the Avengersverse in pretty much the opposite tonal direction that Guardians of the Galaxy is pulling.

Would you rather Avengers 3 have Joss Whedon writing an omnipotent cosmic villain who has an unrequited crush on Death or Whedon and Bryan Singer collaborating on heroes clashing tragically over Mutant Prejudice and Registration Acts (with an Important Moral Theme Relevant to the Real World) and a reborn Jean Grey sacrificing herself on the moon, dying heroically in Cyclops's arms as the Avengers look on with tears in their eyes?
posted by straight at 9:09 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

I have never had as huge a "shut up and take my money" moment as I did yesterday watching this trailer. I didn't even want to see this film before then and now I so get the hype. It's a racoon with a gun and he rides on an angry sentient tree. Of course. It's perfect.
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:11 AM on February 19, 2014 [18 favorites]

Everybody wants DC to do the fun superhero thing, but I have a bad feeling that they'd fuck it up by getting Kevin Smith or someone to make childish jokes at the expense of the characters rather than the kind of loving humor that Marvel's nailed so far. The silly thing is that DC's nailed this tone time and time again in its animated product, but the huge creative assets they have in the animated division aren't brought anywhere near their live action product. It seems like such a no-brainer!
posted by jason_steakums at 9:13 AM on February 19, 2014 [8 favorites]

It seems like the answer to DC's problems would be "Ask Paul Dini where he wants the truck of money unloaded" but nooooo.
posted by The Whelk at 9:16 AM on February 19, 2014 [31 favorites]

I would also like to add that, as a fan of Everwood from way back and the world's biggest Parks and Recreation booster this side of Amy Poehler, I would like to thank Hollywood for making Chris Pratt the big star I always thought he should be

Definitely true -- remember him on The O.C.? He was AWESOME! Then he was in Parks and Rec. And he was AWESOME! So glad that the fact that Chris Pratt is generally awesome is now being widely recognized.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:16 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

I don't know if you have seen Justice League War; but it seems to be set in the New 53 Universe and the Superman of the New 52 is a dick. DC has abdicated fun.
posted by NiteMayr at 9:17 AM on February 19, 2014

To be fair, from my recent perusals, Marvel's comic universe is still distinctively less fun than its cinematic one.
posted by Think_Long at 9:18 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

octothorpe: "I gave up on Sheld a month ago, should I go back."

I wrote that a few hours ago on a spotty Wifi network and it showed up on Mefi after multiple people had already asked the same question. Not sure where my post was in-between. I blame Chrome OS.
posted by octothorpe at 9:19 AM on February 19, 2014

I kinda hope that the "New 52" will be retconned away as some kind of "oh, this was all the result of the Flash event a couple years back" but I lose hope for that like I lost hope for Mary Jane and Peter ...

At least the MJ/Peter thing resulted in some of the best Spidey comics in years (which, uh, could have happened without the MJ/Peter thing just by getting those creative teams, but still). The New 52 had very few pleasant side-effects like that.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:19 AM on February 19, 2014

Yes, if there's one thing the world needed more of, it's "Gosh, webslinging made Pete late for dinner with Aunt May, Mary Jane is dating somebody else, and, jeepers, how is Pete going to make rent this month" stories.
posted by entropicamericana at 9:23 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Bald space pirate Karen Gillan

She looks a lot like Thane's species from Mass Effect to me for some reason.
posted by sparkletone at 9:24 AM on February 19, 2014

Almost Human has been pushed into "wait and see" territory, largely because they've burned through half a season of mediocre science fiction plots only occasionally touching on the elephant in the room of a black man as an ultimately disposable slave working for a guy who killed his less-intelligent predecessor only to move on to jokes about Kennex's balls. Laroquette as the possibly-evil mastermind with a robot army was introduced too late, and unfortunately, most of Frankenstein's development was delivered in dialogue to the most obnoxious character on the show. And then there's the character who seems to exist only to deliver post-commercial exposition to announce the next scene, and validate Kennex's sexuality every few episodes.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 9:26 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

My only beef with this movie is that I hate that the awesomely goofy Jim Starlin/Ron Lim designs for Drax the Destroyer were thrown out and the character was rebooted as a 90s grim-n-gritty knife wielding badass.

Of course, the original Drax would never have worked in the Marvel movieverse (he was basically Cosmic Hulk).
posted by straight at 9:33 AM on February 19, 2014

1) I was on the fence about GoTG. This trailer sold me.

2) Almost Human is a frustrating watch for me. I love the leads and the premise but I keep wanting it to be The Caves of Steel: The TV series.
posted by KingEdRa at 9:34 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

I really hope they litter the background shots with aliens that already exist in the MU. I want to see a Korbinite.

Yeah, if they still had the X-Men, it would be dragging the Avengersverse in pretty much the opposite tonal direction that Guardians of the Galaxy is pulling.

That's an interesting observation. What's strange about DC aiming for seriousness and Marvel aiming for giddy fun is that these are the polar opposites of the original goals of the two companies. See this Ask Chris article on the difference between Spider-Man and Batman, for instance. In the 60's, Spider-Man was practically a horror comic, while Adam West was hamming it up in Batman '66.

I don't think that Marvel's current goal of silly fun can be entirely attributed to their losing their darkest properties to Sony. Ang Lee's Hulk was an attempt at darkness, and Iron Man could have been made much more serious than it ended up. Still, it probably would be difficult to make a truly lighthearted X-Men film, so you're right: they would have dragged the rest down. (The Fantastic Four would fit right in, as long as you don't play up the "This Man, This Monster" pathos of the Thing. You can make a fun Spider-Man story if you forgo the origin.) It's still an interesting question to ask when and why Marvel decided to refocus their efforts toward building a second Silver Age.

It'll be neat to see what they do with the Daredevil Netflix show. Frank Miller made that one of the paradigmatic dark and gritty properties, but Fraction's current run has been trying to make the comic goofy once again.
posted by painquale at 9:34 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Re: Drax, bear in mind that the original original, as he first appeared in Iron Man, was more of a straight-laced Space Superman guy compete with a cape and eye lasers and suchlike. Space Hulk was just as much a revision as Space Kratos.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:41 AM on February 19, 2014

Bald space pirate Karen Gillan

She looks a lot like Thane's species from Mass Effect to me for some reason.

Probably from being multi-colored and bald, although her coloring is more like Thane's son Kolyat.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:42 AM on February 19, 2014

What's strange about DC aiming for seriousness and Marvel aiming for giddy fun is that these are the polar opposites of the original goals of the two companies.

I think that's what's driving it. DC is perpetually embarrassed by Batman '66 and the era of Superdickery. Everything they do seems to say, "No, really guys, Superman and Batman are cool!"

Marvel, on the other hand, is building on properties that, looking back, are a little embarrassing in the earnestness of their angsty melodramas and can react against that by lightening up.

(I'm only talking movies here, Marvel has plenty of embarrassing grimdark in their comics and DC has plenty of fun in their TV cartoons.)
posted by straight at 9:52 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Despite reading a lot of Marvel, albeit heavily tilted in the X-universe, I hadn't really heard much about Guardians until the film was announced. I was, and still am, one of those "BRING ME RUNAWAYS FOOLS!!!!" people, but the trailer has definitely made me interested. I've shook the little paw of a raccoon once. I am ready to advance to the next level.
posted by Atreides at 9:53 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

the best part about all of this is that Bradley Cooper does kind of look like a raccoon
posted by The Whelk at 9:58 AM on February 19, 2014

You mean Bradley Racoonper?
posted by straight at 9:59 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

I wonder if my opinion of Raimi's Spiderman 3 would be different now that I prefer the sillier interpretation of comic-book movies. Back then it seemed so sacrilegious to me for a super hero movie to actually, *shudder*, have fun.
posted by Think_Long at 10:03 AM on February 19, 2014

Silly or no, Spider-Man 3 is not good. However, I think the "bad" scene that people focus on (the dance scene) is actually the best scene and is a lot of fun.
posted by brundlefly at 10:06 AM on February 19, 2014 [8 favorites]

Is it a bad thing that I would like to create a tumblr just to quote all of you about this movie, because if it makes other people laugh as much as you made me laugh reading this thread, I believe I will have all of the karma points ever?

maybe mefitesonGotG.tumblr.com?
posted by A neighbourhood park all covered with cheese at 10:09 AM on February 19, 2014

Not in the trailer, but they got Glenn Close to play Nova Prime Rael, because of course she's the head of the intergalactic space cops.
posted by Etrigan at 10:13 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

I think the "bad" scene that people focus on (the dance scene) is actually the best scene and is a lot of fun.

This is 100% true and I will have an emo dance-off with anyone who says otherwise.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 10:25 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

You mean Bradley Racoonper?

Bradley "Sly" Cooper
posted by jason_steakums at 10:26 AM on February 19, 2014 [7 favorites]

I just kept expecting the trailer to segue into Saturday Night.
posted by ckape at 10:35 AM on February 19, 2014

Silly or no, Spider-Man 3 is not good. However, I think the "bad" scene that people focus on (the dance scene) is actually the best scene and is a lot of fun.

Wait, there are people who don't think the dance scene from Spider-Man 3 is the best scene in the entire trilogy?
posted by IAmUnaware at 10:37 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

I fucking adore all the Raimi Spidey movies, including 3, so I am not an impartial witness, but the dance scene is perfect in every way, period. Not least due to the lead-in in which Evil Peter deliberately styles his hair as emo as possible. BECAUSE HE'S EVIL
posted by nicebookrack at 10:40 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Does this mean there is renewed hope for the Mort, the Dead Teenager movie?
posted by cell divide at 10:40 AM on February 19, 2014

Am I the only one excited about seeing WWE's Batista in a superhero movie?

okayface.jpg
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:41 AM on February 19, 2014

After reading the James Gunn trailer breakdown linked above I am almost as excited for the full trailer as I am for the movie. Glenn Close! YONDU! Please, baby Jesus, let this be Michael Rooker's big movie breakout. I just need to watch Not-Merle Dixon gnawing all the scenery (and quietly squishing my heart) for the rest of my life, amen.
posted by nicebookrack at 10:45 AM on February 19, 2014

Yeah, the idea that when the suit brings out Peter Parker's Evil Side it's pathetic and ridiculous is beautiful and that scene is great. It's all the other stuff that sucks, particularly the incomprehensibility of the relationships. Why Peter can't just web Harry to the wall and explain to him: "No, you idiot. Your dad ineptly killed himself while trying to kill me." And whatever is supposed to be going on between Peter and Mary Jane. And, gah, I've got to stop thinking about that movie now.
posted by straight at 10:47 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

You might laugh at the efficacy of a superhero with ant-control powers, but it's no laughing matter when he commands an entire hill of fire ants to crawl up your pants leg.

C.F. Squirrel Girl.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:55 AM on February 19, 2014 [11 favorites]

You might laugh at the efficacy of a superhero with ant-control powers, but it's no laughing matter when he commands an entire hill of fire ants to crawl up your pants leg.

Worm.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:05 AM on February 19, 2014

And whatever is supposed to be going on between Peter and Mary Jane

I can;t find it now but there was this hilarious essay about Spiderman 3 that pointed out how baffling everything Mary Jane does is and how her career arc only makes sense if she's got like, a secret drug problem or is smuggling state secrets or something.

Didn't Ramini basically make that movie under protest?
posted by The Whelk at 11:09 AM on February 19, 2014

IIRC, it was specifically that Raimi didn't want to do Venom but the studio said "WE HAVE RIGHTS TO VENOM GODDAMMIT YOU WILL PUT HIM IN THE MOVIE."
posted by Scattercat at 11:13 AM on February 19, 2014

Is it wrong that I pretend in my mind that Chris Pratt and Aubrey Plaza are actually a couple?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:15 AM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Stop talking about bad Spider-Man movies! There's a Raccoon with a gun and Space Burt Macklin over here!
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 11:17 AM on February 19, 2014 [9 favorites]

What do you mean pretend?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:17 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm just thankful that the studio only pushed as far as Venom for Spider-Man 3 and didn't try to exploit the completely incomprehensible affection a large number of fans seem to have for Carnage because that is a thing that I just do not understand. Carnage is grim 'n gritty Poochie and just... just the worst, you guys.
posted by jason_steakums at 11:20 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

We can talk about how Chris Pratt has a completely different face shape after he got all muscly!
posted by The Whelk at 11:20 AM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

TheWhiteSkull: "Is it wrong that I pretend in my mind that Chris Pratt and Aubrey Plaza are actually a couple?"

From a recent interview with both Pratt and Plaza on the set of P&R:

Plaza: Do you get to have sex with an alien?

Pratt: Yes.

Plaza: What!?

Pratt: A couple.

Plaza: Cool. Have you shot those scenes yet?

Pratt: I can’t get too much into what we’ve shot.

Plaza: All right. Will you show me later?

Pratt: Yeah, I’ll show you.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:29 AM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Definitely true -- remember him on The O.C.? He was AWESOME! Then he was in Parks and Rec. And he was AWESOME! So glad that the fact that Chris Pratt is generally awesome is now being widely recognized.

Star-Lord to bust up the wedding of Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf! Veronica Mars to investigate who tipped him off! Sam and Dean to hunt down the guilty! Dr. Who to mug at the camera! TUMBLR TV IS GOOOOOOOOOOOO
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:30 AM on February 19, 2014 [6 favorites]

The use of "Hooked on a Feeling" is pure genius and redeems a lot of the weird pacing issues this trailer has.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:36 AM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

The use of "Hooked on a Feeling" is pure genius and redeems a lot of the weird pacing issues this trailer has.

In the not-so grim future of Guardians of the Galaxy, there is only Hooked on a Feeling.

So, yeah, dystopia.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:50 AM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

From Parks & Rec to this, I think I just want Chris Pratt to be my BFF.
posted by Kitteh at 11:50 AM on February 19, 2014

I want Star-Lord to try and get his teammates to form Space Mouse Rat (formerly Space Scarecrow Boat) with him.
posted by jason_steakums at 11:52 AM on February 19, 2014

I'm just glad I'm not the only one to be bored by AoS. I thought I was doing something wrong.
posted by klangklangston at 12:32 PM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

It was the constant affirmations of "No, really, the last episode was really good!" being foisted on me time and time again and always discovering that no, it was just as shit and dull as the last time and oh god I love you Agent Coulson but this can only go so far and this show ain't it.

So while I want to trust all of you lovely people who say it got tons better after the winter hiatus (which is where I stopped watching), I think I will wait until S1 is done to possibly finish it.
posted by Kitteh at 12:37 PM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

It really hasn't gotten that much better. I'm thinking it's Stockholm Syndrome. Or possibly brainslugs.
posted by entropicamericana at 12:52 PM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

DC has the power to make the best movie series ever, but they would require the GNP of a couple of countries to do it and it would be fun, so it's out on two counts... As I've said before, the StormWatch/Authority trailer basically writes itself.

*ALIEN ARMADA DOOR OPENS*
JACK HAWKSMOOR: "Welcome to Earth."
THE MIDNIGHTER: "We're here to hit you."
SMASH CUT TO: Title sequence

Also, Bill Mantlo not only gave us a gun-toting raccoon, but ROM: Space Knight transcended the source material and was so much more. Shepherd mentioned the link above but it's well worth repeating.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:04 PM on February 19, 2014 [15 favorites]

I swear to god, if AoS keeps going and Hannibal gets canceled, I am going to straight-up start eating people.

/derail
posted by dogheart at 1:04 PM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I'm mainly still watching AoS as The Clark Gregg Show. The rest of it, sadly, is mainly enjoyable for reading the Onion's AV Club recaps every week and watching the commentors come up with new Space Mutiny-esque names for Ward. ("Chunk Beefslab" is a personal favorite.)
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:13 PM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

We seem to have strayed off the important matter at hand.

Will Rocket Raccoon have a Cockney accent or not?
posted by cazoo at 1:21 PM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Can Bradley Cooper even do a Cockney accent? More importantly, who would want him to???
posted by Kitteh at 1:23 PM on February 19, 2014

I swear to god, if AoS keeps going and Hannibal gets canceled, I am going to straight-up start eating people.

Raw or cooked? If the latter, roasted or baked?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:24 PM on February 19, 2014

I would also accept Bradley Cooper doing his best real-life raccoon impression, with subtitles and all the other characters having an unexplained ability to understand him. Just because I'm picturing Cooper getting full-on into the physicality of playing a real raccoon in the sound booth.
posted by jason_steakums at 1:24 PM on February 19, 2014 [11 favorites]

IT'S A RACCOON WITH A MACHINE GUN! WHAT THE HELL IS THERE TO "GET?"
posted by Naberius at 1:29 PM on February 19, 2014 [22 favorites]

The raccoon's motivation? The raccoon's motivation is the machine gun.
posted by jason_steakums at 1:30 PM on February 19, 2014 [19 favorites]

is it too much to ask for a Howard the Duck cameo

Yes. Steve Gerber is dead.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:32 PM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

zardoz, I'm not familiar with the comics but I think the trailer is hilarious. I'm really looking forward to this.

(I am a James Gunn fan, though.)
posted by brundlefly at 1:32 PM on February 19, 2014

Raw or cooked? If the latter, roasted or baked?

Well, obviously in a roast. With a Cumberland sauce. Possibly with elaborate and menacing table decorations.
posted by dogheart at 1:33 PM on February 19, 2014

To be fair though, the trailer gives you, like, zero indication of what kind of conflict exists in the movie, it just shows you through explosions and fighting that conflict exists. So you are kind of left hanging for everything except the broad details of the heroes. Which I think is kind of the point because obviously you want to sell people on the raccoon with a machine gun as quick as possible, but still.
posted by jason_steakums at 1:37 PM on February 19, 2014

The fact that Metafilter loves the Piña Colada song but hates Hooked on a Feeling has been throwing me off all day.
posted by thecaddy at 1:38 PM on February 19, 2014 [10 favorites]

I've never heard of the comic series (and have never really read comic books) and loved this trailer. I don't think that there's too much nuance to get here.
posted by octothorpe at 1:41 PM on February 19, 2014

Oh man, this looks like fun.
posted by homunculus at 1:47 PM on February 19, 2014

The original comic books were much more grimdark (but in a good way) than this seems to be anyway.

Speaking of which.

YONDU!

Yeah, glad to see some nod to the original Guardians in this. First superhero comic I can ever remember reading was Avengers #167, Jim Shooter and George Perez, which has the Guardians big fuckoff time travelling spaceship almost crash into SHIELD's square space station and them teaming up with the Avengers to fight Korvac and all that good stuff, which left me with a fondness for the Guardians ever since.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:52 PM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

I've never heard of the comic series (and have never really read comic books) and loved this trailer. I don't think that there's too much nuance to get here.

Actually, Guardians of the Galaxy has been a running metaphor and criticism upon the Dutch Tulip Bubble of 1637 and its lingering affect on the colonization of the New World.
posted by Atreides at 1:52 PM on February 19, 2014 [7 favorites]

This guy should get a cameo.
posted by homunculus at 1:56 PM on February 19, 2014

Also, Bill Mantlo not only gave us a gun-toting raccoon, but ROM: Space Knight transcended the source material and was so much more.

If they throw in ROM as a cameo or even a throwaway line, I will pee my pants. Do it, Gunn. Do it for Bill.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:01 PM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

I've always been more of a DC fan when it comes to superheroes, but I really enjoy Marvel's weird, marginal characters like Howard The Duck, ROM and the original Ghost Rider. (Who fought giant eyeballs and the Son of Satan.) So I read, and loved, the original Bill Mantlo/Mike Mignola Rocket Raccoon miniseries back in '85. Rocket Raccoon just came out of nowhere and was incredibly awesome. He's from a race of animals genetically engineered to serve as caretakers in a planet-sized insane asylum. Yes, more please.

It's hard to believe Rocket is actually going to appear in a big budget, live action movie, but here we are. Can evil moles and the Toy War be far behind?
posted by Kevin Street at 2:02 PM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Indeed; it's no accident that the series includes a nod to Hugo de Groot, the famed Dutch jurist, whose theories on the relation of international laws to the public oceans inform much of the Guardians in-universe justification for extra-legal action.

See "Popular Delusions and the Madness of Machinegun Raccoons" for more detail on the Tulip Bubble.
posted by Sebmojo at 2:06 PM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Kevin Street: Can evil moles and the Toy War be far behind?

This is the only storyline I know Rocket Raccoon from -- I knew absolutely nothing about Guardians of the Galaxy until the movie was announced, and from what I've read the GotG comics have retconned Rocket's origins, which makes me kinda sad. That miniseries is a totally awesome brain-fuck of awesomeness. Edit: especially since I had to have been like 11 when I first read it.
posted by AzraelBrown at 2:06 PM on February 19, 2014

Ok, I'm going to be that guy. I don't really read comic books and don't really know the Marvel Canon, and I don't watch much TV--anyway, I don't know who this Chris Pratt person is. So this trailer is...confusing? It feels like a collection of inside jokes that I'm not privy to.

TBH, I don't really know if the average moviegoer knows or cares who Chris Pratt is either, at least not yet. But if the movie hits, he could end up being a household name. A bunch of us here are excited because he's an actor who's developed a bit of a comedy-nerd following from his role on Parks & Recreation and a few other TV shows and films, and we're emotionally invested in seeing him do well.

There's not really any inside jokes you're missing out on per se -- Guardians-the-comic is a pretty deep cut even for Marvel fans, so they're not counting on a ton of character recognition (outside of maybe Rocket Raccoon, who appeared in the Marvel vs. Capcom video games) -- so most of the humor just comes from the juxtaposition of Flash Gordony space opera with high-concept goofball comedy. If neither of those is your bag, that's fine, there's other movies out there.
posted by Strange Interlude at 2:06 PM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Also this is just a teaser trailer, which historically don't contain a lot of plot points.
posted by Twain Device at 2:11 PM on February 19, 2014

If this does well, I hope Disney gets the Clone Wars team on a cosmic Marvel show.
posted by jason_steakums at 2:21 PM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

If someone could promise me that this would be 25% or less meaningless action sequences, I would be first in line.

Seriously, these trailers get me all excited for awesome superhero/scifi movies and then I go to the theatre and it's just.

Introduce heroes
Introduce villain
tension
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
EXPLOSION
Shawarma
posted by 256 at 2:24 PM on February 19, 2014 [12 favorites]

One thing that really excites me about this trailer is the aura of Star Wars / Star Trek-style modern casualness in the alien interactions. It's not "first contact OMG." The aliens with speaking roles we've seen so far in the Marvel Cinematic Universe—Asgardians, Frost Giants, the dark elves—have all been melodramatically archaic and isolationist. But here we have a bunch of alien races hanging out, mostly speaking the same language, getting into petty fights, presumably drinking cheap alien beer, etc. It's so "Han Solo on Deep Space Nine" that it hurts.

The greatest comic joy possible in life: Tony Stark and his Avenger friends discover that the human race was rocked to its foundations and nearly destroyed by first contact with aliens (Thor, Loki, Loki's army) who are actually the intergalactic equivalent of the Amish. Amish who are really into LARPing.
posted by nicebookrack at 2:45 PM on February 19, 2014 [17 favorites]

I think this guy might be one of the Blood Brothers.
posted by jason_steakums at 2:50 PM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

That's all well and good, but it still doesn't tell me where the President's rubies are. Macklin/Hackman/Snakehole!!!
posted by ilana at 2:56 PM on February 19, 2014

Look, Starlord had to pawn something to make his way in the world until he learned the skills to become a proper intergalactic thief. Those rubies paid for nearly a year's worth of food credits and Walkman batteries.

And then he started his modestly successful interim career as an exotic human male escort. TO THE FANFICMOBILE, AWAY!
posted by nicebookrack at 3:07 PM on February 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

Can someone give me the Cliff Notes on STARLORD! ? (presuming the ! is implicit?)
posted by Sebmojo at 4:01 PM on February 19, 2014

So I don't know anything about this comic, but boy oh boy do I love the way Groot bends into the frame, sort of "Hey there, what's going on?"

From what I can tell, this is a large, innocent creature made of inanimate material with a limited vocabulary voiced by Vin Diesel. That has a strong precedent, actually.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 4:01 PM on February 19, 2014 [8 favorites]

Also, nice Usual Suspects quote at the end of the trailer.
posted by Sebmojo at 4:02 PM on February 19, 2014

Almost Human does the Police Procedural with SciFi better Marvel and they have some kind of Right Wing douche writing that; I mean "Smart Houses as an alegory for Guns" and a Color Swapped Treyvon Martin Story wrapped in an Anti-Anonymous screed" manufique, super Rightwing douchy!

Wow, i had been somewhat vaguely excited by this show. Thanks for killing that right dead quick and letting me know i don't need to watch it at all.
posted by emptythought at 4:33 PM on February 19, 2014

Actually, Guardians of the Galaxy has been a running metaphor and criticism upon the Dutch Tulip Bubble of 1637 and its lingering affect on the colonization of the New World.

See "Popular Delusions and the Madness of Machinegun Raccoons" for more detail on the Tulip Bubble.

See also this historical reenactment.
posted by homunculus at 4:35 PM on February 19, 2014

haven't read any comments at all!

i cannot believe that Marvel thought this was the way to go!

( please note: i LOVE guardians of the galaxy very much and never thought anyone else would. )

ALL THAT SAID: this trailer looks good.

THAT SAID: it's going to suck, isn't it?
posted by jammy at 6:09 PM on February 19, 2014

yo, Sebmojo
http://marvel.wikia.com/Peter_Quill_(Earth-616)
posted by jammy at 6:16 PM on February 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

THAT SAID: it's going to suck, isn't it?

Why? The Marvel movies haven't all been great but they're usually pretty good. No reason to think this one will be a stinker yet.
posted by Sangermaine at 6:24 PM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Comic book movies usually suck when their creators think it's necessary to change everything about the characters to make them appealing to a movie audience. This feels like the opposite of that. It's taking decades of comic book oddness (Groot was created in 1960) that has been evolved and distilled in print and presenting all of that pretty much as is on the screen.
posted by Kevin Street at 6:39 PM on February 19, 2014 [6 favorites]

Oh man, if the Kree are going to be in this, that means there's a possibility for a future Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel movie? Please?
posted by lovecrafty at 6:59 PM on February 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Sadly, none of us are going to live to see this.
posted by homunculus at 7:20 PM on February 19, 2014

So I read, and loved, the original Bill Mantlo/Mike Mignola Rocket Raccoon miniseries back in '85.

Mike Mignola?! Really?! I am going to have to maybe find this.
posted by infinitywaltz at 7:23 PM on February 19, 2014

Mantlo also did the comic book adaptation of the "The Micronauts", which when I was eight seemed awesome, so that makes him responsible for two toy line adaptations that turned out great.

Or at least, potentially great. I haven't yet used my Marvel Unlimited subscription to go back and reread those old Micronaut stories. I'm sort of afraid they'll turn out to be merely ridiculous, as opposed to both ridiculous and fuckin' sweet.
posted by Ipsifendus at 7:27 PM on February 19, 2014

Then there's X-Men: Days of Future Past, sigh...
posted by the_artificer at 7:32 PM on February 19, 2014

For the record, Holy Zarquon etc, it's been 10 hours and I'm still cackling over "Vin Treesel."
posted by nicebookrack at 8:28 PM on February 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

Comics Alliance has a pretty great "guide" to the GoG trailer.
posted by straight at 8:37 PM on February 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

re: XMDOFP - i'm trying to hold on to the fact that the last movie's batch of promotional photos were also incredibly... shit. on the other hand, that means i'm bracing for a mediocre movie buoyed by AC-TING and FEE-LINGS. (i'm all for that, don't get me wrong!)
posted by cendawanita at 10:13 PM on February 19, 2014

"Mike Mignola?! Really?! I am going to have to maybe find this."

Yep. Although this was very early Mignola, before he developed his signature style.

But according to Wikipedia, Bill Mantlo and Keith Giffen are Rocket's creators.
posted by Kevin Street at 10:27 PM on February 19, 2014

For what it's worth, Sports Fans, Cosmo turns up in the Knowhere Lego playset-kit-thing.
So, Cosmo may indeed turn up in the film.
Because there's just not enough crazy in it right now, we need a talking Communist dog.
posted by Mezentian at 1:22 AM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

I remember when I was growing up, the Avengers were terminally uncool. Earth's Mightiest Heroes, featuring Tigra, Starfox, Dr. Druid, Captain Marvel, Mockingbird, etc? You've got to be kidding me.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
I loved that era. Until they ruined it.
posted by Mezentian at 1:25 AM on February 20, 2014

Although, I must add in that today the fact that Starfox's power is basically being a cosmic roofie... not so great.
posted by Mezentian at 1:25 AM on February 20, 2014

(What would be awesome is a hero that's a Skrull Cow going undercover as human to fight for bovines.)

The Skrull Cows recently turned up in AvX. It didn't work out so well being cows for them, being so low on the food chain.

I don't know if you have seen Justice League War; but it seems to be set in the New 53 Universe and the Superman of the New 52 is a dick. DC has abdicated fun.

This is an accurate statement.

Can someone give me the Cliff Notes on STARLORD! ? (presuming the ! is implicit?)

I can do more than that:
So WHAT’S Star-Lord’s Origin Exactly?
When We First Met – The Guardians of the Galaxy
Know Your Guardians – Yondu
Know Your Guardians – Rocket Racoon
Know Your Guardians – Gamora
Know Your Guardians – Nebula

There are more at BleedingCool, I think, I can't find them just now.

FWIW, Dan Abnett And Andy Lanning no longer work together. Mostly.

Yes, I am super-pumped about this movie. I WANT IT TO BE FUN.

(Also, we have a new Fantastic Four. Johnny Storm appears to be black. So unless they're gonna blackface up Kate Mara for Susan Storm/Richards, they're gonna tinker with the origin. But we all knew that. What's more surprising is that Jamie Bell is going to be Ben Grimm. Yes, the thin waify one from Tintin or Billy Madison... I guess he'll need Thing Rings do do his Thing?)
posted by Mezentian at 1:56 AM on February 20, 2014 [6 favorites]

Also Groot.
posted by Mezentian at 2:45 AM on February 20, 2014

Also, we have a new Fantastic Four. Johnny Storm appears to be black. So unless they're gonna blackface up Kate Mara for Susan Storm/Richards, they're gonna tinker with the origin.

I am pleasantly surprised to hear people complaing that they should go all in and make Sue Storm black also.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:10 AM on February 20, 2014 [5 favorites]

I had no idea that DnA had split up. Although Keith Giffen pretty much started up "Marvel Cosmic" (not the overall trend of cosmic heroes in Marvel--that would have been Kirby, and later on, Starlin, of course--but the more recent lineup of books), I think that DnA were responsible for the best writing, including the best run on Nova. (Yes, that includes the original.) Bummer.

And the casting for FF? Well... sounds different, at least. I liked Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm, but don't have a lot of fondness for that version of FF otherwise. (Yes, Chris Evans was also fine, but he's so much better suited for his current role.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:14 AM on February 20, 2014

Halloween Jack: "Chris Evans was also fine, but he's so much better suited for his current role."

As The Whelk's spirit animal/muse?
posted by Strange Interlude at 5:24 AM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

And we love them both for it.

By the way, IIRC Evans has the most comic movie adaptation roles to his name, or perhaps the most varied across publishers? Back to IMDB I go...
posted by nicebookrack at 5:37 AM on February 20, 2014

Chris Evans has started in adaptations of Fantastic Four, Captain America, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Losers, and Scott Pilgrim. And I've liked him in all of those roles!
posted by nicebookrack at 5:46 AM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

And Snowpiercer is from a French comic book, although thanks to Harvey "Scissorhands" Weinstein we're not sure what version we're getting here in the US.
posted by zombieflanders at 6:15 AM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

I always enjoy when Chris Evans is a guest on Doug Loves Movies. He's a surprisingly crass Bahstonian and while everyone else plays the game, he doesn't have the slightest idea what's going on so he hoots and hollers and gets progressively drunker and more aggressive until he ends up telling everyone else to Suck It, but he always stays funny and charismatic. He really is a perfect person to play the embodiment of America.
posted by painquale at 6:31 AM on February 20, 2014 [6 favorites]

You ever hear him speak at political rallies for his brother?

Siiiiiiiiiigh
posted by The Whelk at 6:35 AM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

You have the face of your Chris Evans doll tattooed on your arm, don't you, Whelk. THE WHELK NEEDS CHRIS
posted by nicebookrack at 6:49 AM on February 20, 2014

Oh god I'm literally Wallace Wells
posted by The Whelk at 6:51 AM on February 20, 2014 [7 favorites]

Wallace / Lucas Lee would be pretty hot. They could skateboard-jump over explosions together.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:53 AM on February 20, 2014

I don't know, Mr. The Whelk. You're no Kieran Culkin.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:56 AM on February 20, 2014

are you entirely sure about that?
posted by The Whelk at 7:02 AM on February 20, 2014

Here's a test: how do you spell Amazon.ca?
posted by nicebookrack at 7:06 AM on February 20, 2014

I make my telepathic boyfriend place in the order in the negaspace.
posted by The Whelk at 7:11 AM on February 20, 2014

Okay, you pass. Barely.
posted by nicebookrack at 7:12 AM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

While we're freaking out in a good way over Michael B. Jordan in the Fantastic Four (ugghhh a black Sue Storm would be wonderful but oh well), may I make brief excited flappy hands at the CW casting a black actress as Iris West in the TV version of the Flash? With Jesse L. Martin as her dad and Grant Gustin as Barry Allen, if there isn't a musical episode I will cry.
posted by nicebookrack at 7:25 AM on February 20, 2014

I am pleasantly surprised to hear people complaing that they should go all in and make Sue Storm black also.

Might as well, the most important part is that Sue and Johnny are siblings, not what color their skin is. That said, I really wish somebody would use Harry Knowles' one good idea and have Payton Reed make a FF movie set in 1963 with the Lee/Kirby knob turned up to 11.
posted by entropicamericana at 7:28 AM on February 20, 2014 [4 favorites]

Race wise, it would probably be good to show a black and white women in a relationship as friends or siblings.

Otherwise, if they're swapping races around, I'd prefer a black Reed Richards, just for the fan freakout it would cause.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:31 AM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

But if an FF reboot simply has to be done (lord know why), I'd prefer they not spend half the movie recounting their origin. A five minute recap in the beginning would be enough, then get on to the main story.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:35 AM on February 20, 2014 [4 favorites]

Otherwise, if they're swapping races around, I'd prefer a black Reed Richards, just for the fan freakout it would cause.

That and Lance Reddick would be pitch-perfect as Mr. Fantastic.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:38 AM on February 20, 2014 [5 favorites]

I'm still kind of in love with the idea of doing a 60's period piece FF movie with the same structure/plot as the Beatles' "A Hard Day's Night," casting the Four as both superheroes and media celebrities.

Reed would be the "smart one", Johnny the "cute one", Sue the "quiet one", and Ben the "funny one". In place of musical numbers, the Four would fight off random supervillains. In between those scenes, the Four could do cheeky TV interviews and engineer ingenious escapes from their adoring fans. Ben could get all ticked off at everyone for some reason and wander off by himself to mope. And Stan Lee could have a cameo as Sue and Johnny's "clean old man" grandfather.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:45 AM on February 20, 2014 [6 favorites]

Extending the thought of doing the Inhumans in Game of Thrones style, doing the whole Fantastic Four corner of the universe in that kind of scheming powers/big setpiece fights way would be great, with the Inhumans, the High Evolutionary, Doom, Namor, the Black Panther, Nathaniel Richards and Kang/Immortus as the big power players moving pieces around the board and the Celestials lurking in the background like the Others in GoT. I always like the FF in that mode because Reed has that Supermanesque thing where it's well within his ability to ride roughshod over these crazy powerful enemies and set the world to rights if he checks his ethics at the door and basically becomes as controlling as Doom.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:40 AM on February 20, 2014 [3 favorites]

This trailer looks awesome and I'm super excited about the movie, but the movie is not the best part of what's going on here.

The best part of what's going on here is the inevitable LEGO Rocket Racoon minifig. I am going to send that little guy on SO MANY ADVENTURES.
posted by gauche at 8:55 AM on February 20, 2014 [7 favorites]

I demand a tumblr of Rocket Minicoon's exploits!
posted by nicebookrack at 9:24 AM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Re: 60s-era FF as celebrities--There was either a blog or a one-shot (maybe part of the Marvels revival Ross did a couple years back?) that was candids of the FF and others in the style of the classier gossip mags of the era that was pretty cool. You know, "Sue Storm certainly wasn't invisible in her sequined Gauthier dress at last night's bash for J. Jonah Jameson's Excellence in Journalism award" and the like.
posted by zombieflanders at 9:32 AM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ah, here it is: Candid superhero moments by Phil Noto
posted by zombieflanders at 9:35 AM on February 20, 2014 [7 favorites]

The best part of what's going on here is the inevitable LEGO Rocket Racoon minifig. I am going to send that little guy on SO MANY ADVENTURES.

You can have adventures with LEGO Rocket Racoon like this or like this.

(That LEGO Marvel game is one of the best superhero games ever, but if you just grade it on fan service, it's completely off the charts in another galaxy from all other superhero games. So much love.)
posted by straight at 9:38 AM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ah, here it is: Candid superhero moments by Phil Noto

See also: Earth's Mightiest Gossip
posted by brundlefly at 11:29 AM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

Perhaps the choice of music suggests that a Guardians/Trek crossover is in the making.

Ooga Ooga Ooga Shaka.
posted by homunculus at 11:49 AM on February 20, 2014

See also: Earth's Mightiest Gossip

The post on there with Anna Torv as Carol Danvers? Perfect casting.
posted by jason_steakums at 11:54 AM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Phil Noto's Tumblr [occasional NSFWness] has just a bunch of great illustrations; the one he did of Tyrion Lannister (definitely NSFW) is my favorite illustration of the character.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:19 PM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

Natasha is committing a Prometheus-level tactical failure in that Phil Noto cover for Black Widow #5.
posted by straight at 12:35 PM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

Can someone give me the Cliff Notes on STARLORD!

Created for Marvel's black and white magazine line in the seventies, Peter Quill's mum got busy with what turned out to be an alien heir to the throne of Sparta who in an astonishing coincidence not only shared the name of their empire with an ancient Greek city state later abused by Frank Miller, but who also turned out to be so compatible with humans that, well, you got Peter Quill.

Wouldn't you know it, as he's on the cusp of adulthood, assassins in the pay of his father's rivals show up and kill his mother, which is of course the moment he discover's his own heritage. At the end of it he has some mild psychic powers, a nifty, living spaceship and of course a blaster gun.

Starlord meandered through various Marvel tryout titles, with perhaps his best story being done by Claremont and Byrne, in which he finally wins his heritage in Sparta and avenges his mother.

All of which mostly took place outside Marvel continuity until Abnett and Lanning used them in their cosmic crossover series and ultimately Guardians of the Galaxy.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:37 PM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Or at least, potentially great. I haven't yet used my Marvel Unlimited subscription to go back and reread those old Micronaut stories. I'm sort of afraid they'll turn out to be merely ridiculous, as opposed to both ridiculous and fuckin' sweet.

Trust me, Micronauts, especially the first eleven or so issues with Michael Golden on the artwork, rule. It helped that the toys themselves barely had any storyline Mantlo needed to keep himself to, so he could let his fantasy run riot. He created a solid, Star Wars inspired storyline, did brilliant in tying in Marvel Universe concepts and it was fecking hilarious to see e.g the Thing team up with what were basically action figures...
posted by MartinWisse at 12:42 PM on February 20, 2014

MartinWisse, is Quill generally as much of a smartass as he is in this trailer?
posted by brundlefly at 12:55 PM on February 20, 2014

Hear Bradley Cooper As GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’s Rocket Raccoon
posted by brundlefly at 1:05 PM on February 20, 2014

Regardless of their snideness baseline in the Marvel-616 comics, all Marvel Cinematic Universe characters have been injected with a level of snark. It's a requirement for living in a quippy World of Snark.

As someone not terribly attached to comic-Starlord, I hope that GOTG does for Starlord & Co what Iron Man / Robert Downey Jr did for Tony Stark. Before RDJ, Iron Man was a solid but not universally recognized Marvel guy (maybe like, oh, Aquaman), and he wasn't known for being particularly snarky. Now Tony is King of the World of Snark.

C'mon, you can do it too, Peter Quill! In space! With a box of scraps and a raccoon!
posted by nicebookrack at 1:30 PM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm still kind of in love with the idea of doing a 60's period piece FF movie with the same structure/plot as the Beatles' "A Hard Day's Night," casting the Four as both superheroes and media celebrities.

Peter Milligan did exactly this in X-Statix, and it was great.

Back on GotG, obviously it all looks very nice, but what did they do to Chris Pratt? Was he always absurdly buff, and just pretending to be an adorable schlub Parks and Rec? He looks like Gerard Butler's abs double!
posted by running order squabble fest at 1:55 PM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

> but what did they do to Chris Pratt? Was he always absurdly buff, and just pretending to be an adorable schlub Parks and Rec?

Well, when the President's rubies are threatened, you go all out.

He first got super buff for Zero Dark Thirty, then I guess he kept it up for this one. They explained it on P&R as Andy giving up beer for six months.
posted by lovecrafty at 2:00 PM on February 20, 2014

Hear Bradley Cooper As GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’s Rocket Raccoon

And the rest of the team gets their 15-30 seconds of fame, too.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:06 PM on February 20, 2014

Y'all, I can't believe I'm living in a world in which Tony Stark and Agent Coulson and Black Widow will one day share a screen / universe with a murderous space raccoon. But I can't live knowing that today is not that day.

I haven't felt this combination of "WTF YEEESSSS WTF" since Princess Tutu, which is about a ballerina princess superhero duck, and which I love more than my own life. Machinegun space raccoon? I NEED THIS MOVIE IMMEDIATELY. AND THE NEXT MOVIE. ALL THE MOVIES.
posted by nicebookrack at 2:44 PM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Here's the first official poster. They're definitely having fun with this.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:48 PM on February 20, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yep. Now that's a goddamn tagline.
posted by brundlefly at 3:46 PM on February 20, 2014

Peter Milligan did exactly this in X-Statix, and it was great.

That was the comic that introduced Doop, yes? Because I have never read any Doop stories and I am ashamed of this.
posted by middleclasstool at 3:52 PM on February 20, 2014

Oh man, you are in for a treat. Begin from the first issue of Milligan's run. Doop is but one of many excellent things going on there.
posted by Sticherbeast at 3:54 PM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

NB: Milligans' run begins in X-Force #116. X-Statix #1 is about a year into his run.
posted by griphus at 3:56 PM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

Doop! Oh yeah, X-Statix is the good stuff. Doop is awesome and all, but Mr. Sensitive was probably my favorite in that group.
posted by Kevin Street at 4:00 PM on February 20, 2014

Yep. Now that's a goddamn tagline.

It truly is. As a thought experiment, to see if I'm just projecting, I tried imagining that tagline on a movie I'm sure will be terrible. What if they put out a poster for Transformers 4 which was just Grimlock striking a fuckyeahdinobots pose with the tagline, "You're welcome"? Sure enough, I kinda want to see that hypothetical movie now.
posted by straight at 4:04 PM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

Ooh, this is goofy enough that if ROM: Spaceknight appeared, it would be a legit ROM com!

I'll get my coat.
posted by Pronoiac at 4:19 PM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

In case you were wondering about Chris Pratt
posted by the man of twists and turns at 4:21 PM on February 20, 2014

The group GOTG cosplayers at cons this summer will be wonderful. So many parent-Groots carrying babies in raccoon onesies!
posted by nicebookrack at 4:22 PM on February 20, 2014 [7 favorites]

The delightful thing about Chris Pratt is that he is delicious to gaze upon in both forms: the hunky ripped beefcake god and the cuddly plush scruffy bear-man. Plus wicked comic timing grants an automatic extra 150+ attractiveness points.
posted by nicebookrack at 4:28 PM on February 20, 2014 [4 favorites]

In case you were wondering about Chris Pratt

Well that gives me hope/makes me feel like a lazy bum.
posted by brundlefly at 4:29 PM on February 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

I like how vocal he is about hating having to bulk out and get ripped.

"what did you do to work out?""I stopped having fun."

The secret to fitness is simple, just be hungry and in pain all the time!

( or like have a strange Marvel based compulsion which results in you passing the FBI fitness test on a regular basis but none of your pants fit anymore. On the other hand I am exactly as fit as Clarice Starling apparently.)
posted by The Whelk at 4:35 PM on February 20, 2014

I will be very sad if you have not somewhere documented your quirky Marvel fitness journey in blog or comic form, The Whelk.

Also your oddly-timed Silence of the Lambs reference forces me to inquire how many Captains America you have locked in your basement for a Steve Rogers man-suit
posted by nicebookrack at 4:42 PM on February 20, 2014

I did not record my progress directly cause that was suspiciously close to like ... Calorie counting and I have a bad history with disordered eating, but there exist more than a few photos of me in the 1941 field officer uniform I was working to fit into ( note, literally easier to buy an actual one than find a replica. But I did manage to get SSR pins on it.) if you want an idea of that ten months just imagine a workout montage set to Star Spangled Man ( yes I bought the soundtrack, I used it to time my runs.)

I took boxing classes. My workout clothes for boxing class? the SSR logo t-shirt Steve wakes up in.

I never said I was a healthy man.

I only said Starling cause I used the FBI academy test as a benchmark for progress.

On the other hand I do enjoy Hannibal an awful lot.

*sharpens chef's knife*
posted by The Whelk at 4:48 PM on February 20, 2014 [3 favorites]

Honestly the biggest deal was getting my hair professionally bleached and dyed to match Steve's. I had to bring in photos and everything. It took hours.

What?
posted by The Whelk at 4:56 PM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

( I went to a costume party and someone said "WOW, GREAT BUCKY BARNES" and I kinda died inside.)
posted by The Whelk at 4:57 PM on February 20, 2014 [5 favorites]

I am writing the Winter Soldier fanfic about you in my head RIGHT NOW, The Whelk

in which you are the national president of the revived Captain America Official Fanclub and Steve is a little bit impressed and a little bit terrified

he once uses you as an impromptu body double to escape paparazzi inside a Whole Foods
posted by nicebookrack at 5:00 PM on February 20, 2014 [3 favorites]

I wrote a fanfic novella about me being the president of the Steve Rogers fan club nicebookrack. It ends badly.
posted by The Whelk at 5:03 PM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Whelk,
You know it's unfair to tease us with promises of pictures and not provide at least one little link.
Please, pretty please. With sugar on top.
posted by sardonyx at 5:15 PM on February 20, 2014

Some photos, but the lighting makes my hair look much darker than it was.

Steve would be wearing a rifleman badge and a purple heart but I felt those would be disrespectful so I kept it to general rank and division.

So many people thought I was just ...on leave and not in costume.

Yes that tie is also from 1940
posted by The Whelk at 5:20 PM on February 20, 2014 [5 favorites]

stalwart and steady and true
posted by The Whelk at 5:22 PM on February 20, 2014

Thanks. You look great.
I'm really impressed. Somehow I need to bottle that spirit and resolve and apply a good healthy dose to myself.
posted by sardonyx at 5:46 PM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

How hard was it for them to say "I Am Groot" in those promos?
posted by Mezentian at 5:48 PM on February 20, 2014

How hard was it for them to say "I Am Groot" in those promos?

Save something for the film.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:03 PM on February 20, 2014

And pay Vin Diesel another fifty bucks? Gotta conserve that promotional money.
posted by Kevin Street at 6:06 PM on February 20, 2014

Also your oddly-timed Silence of the Lambs reference forces me to inquire how many Captains America you have locked in your basement for a Steve Rogers man-suit

The Whelk: Now it places the Super-Soldier Serum in the basket.

Captain America Impersonator: Please! Please I wanna go home! I wanna go home please!

The Whelk: It places the Super-Soldier Serum in the basket.

Captain America Impersonator: I wanna see my mommy! Please I wanna see my...

The Whelk: Put the fucking serum in the basket!
posted by homunculus at 6:14 PM on February 20, 2014 [4 favorites]

(For the record, this is the picture I have in my head when I read The Whelk's posts and I always sit up a little straighter when he walks into a thread.)
posted by straight at 6:42 PM on February 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer set to Parks and Recreation Intro
posted by homunculus at 6:45 PM on February 20, 2014

Well, that re-cut trailer was mostly awesome.
Mostly.

(The last bit may require me to have finished the second season).
posted by Mezentian at 8:15 PM on February 20, 2014

Okay, I seriously don't know what the hell GotG is about at all, but that trailer is pretty effing hilarious.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:28 PM on February 20, 2014

Rocket Raccoon’s Long, Strange Journey From a Joke Character to a Movie Star
posted by Mezentian at 2:52 AM on February 21, 2014

Because I remember Rocket Raccoon from his John Byrne She-Hulk cameo when I was a kid, I always assumed that he was a more popular and well-known character than he actually is. I didn't realize that was one of only two appearances of his between 1985 and 2006.
posted by painquale at 4:08 AM on February 21, 2014

I'm surprised to find out he was in so little.
I thought for sure he was in Spider-Ham.

It's like the Jaxxon Paradox. Everyone knows his name, but he appeared in so few issues.
posted by Mezentian at 4:12 AM on February 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's like the Jaxxon Paradox. Everyone knows his name, but he appeared in so few issues.

Struth. I think it's because they're such visually engaging characters. "Seven foot tall green rabbit" and "Raccoon with a machine gun" kind of stick in your brain.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:27 AM on February 21, 2014

See also: Assistant Editor's Month.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:42 AM on February 21, 2014

I think Rocket Raccoon was one of the first Marvel stories I read from beginning to end, thus giving me a wildly unrealistic expectation of what late-80s/early 90s comics would be like once I started reading them seriously (to wit, not nearly enough of them turned out to feature a walrus with tusk-mounted guns singing while fighting off enemies and repairing a spaceship engine).
posted by running order squabble fest at 12:07 PM on February 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

Weirdly the Space Animals genre has a pretty good hits-to-misses ratio. Rocket Raccoon, Star Fox, Bucky O'Hare, Jaxxon, Duck Dodgers...
posted by jason_steakums at 12:57 PM on February 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

New Captain America 2 commercial reveals one hell of a spoiler

So, obviously, spoiler (possibly)!
posted by homunculus at 2:05 PM on February 21, 2014

"Rocket Raccoon, Star Fox, Bucky O'Hare, Jaxxon, Duck Dodgers..."

And Time Beavers!
posted by Kevin Street at 3:05 PM on February 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

It hasn't come up yet, so here's my favorite casting coup for Avengers 2: JARVISion!!!! (Allegedly.)
posted by nicebookrack at 5:30 PM on February 21, 2014

So, obviously, spoiler (possibly)!

They've already spoiled the biggest spoiler for the movie with some of the shots they've revealed. Granted, you'd probably have to know the story to catch it, but they've pretty clearly shown it as the thing it's supposed to be.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:47 PM on February 21, 2014

I'm already wondering what the surprise, IM3-style second twist/reveal in CA2 will be, because the reveal about Spoiler Person is so obvious as to be pointless. Reportedly Black Widow's plot role is really ramped up in CA2 (yeeesssss), so I kinda assume her relationship with Spoiler Person will tie into it. Surprise double (triple) sleeper agent Natasha, maybe? I hope it's NOT the speculated Robert Redford = Red Skull. (You guys Robert Redford is in a SUPERHERO MOVIE what is this I can't even)
posted by nicebookrack at 6:07 PM on February 21, 2014

New Captain America 2 commercial reveals one hell of a spoiler

SPOILER? There is such a thing as a Life-Model-Decoy...
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 6:17 PM on February 21, 2014

They can hook Fury up to the horrid spoilery resurrectiony thing from Agents of SHIELD; see how HE likes it!
posted by nicebookrack at 6:21 PM on February 21, 2014

Not unrelated: A sequel film for Farscape is in the early phases of development.
If GotG is a success, why not more Moya?
posted by Mezentian at 6:26 PM on February 21, 2014

I'm not sure how I feel about a Farscape sequel. My gut says it has been too long, and the property is best left resting in peace. But that tiny, glimmer of hope or optimism or whatever you want to call that that thing I usually find very easy to suppress is squealing with delight about the possibility of seeing Moya's crew (or what is left of it) back together again.

As for GotG, I must be the only person on the Internet not totally in love with the idea of this. The comics were either before or after the time I spent reading the titles on my pull list, meaning I have no deep-seated desire to see these characters brought to life (or really even know them in the slightest), so this is one of those rare instances I can come at a comic book movie without any preconceived impressions at all. Now while I totally get raccoon adoration, the trailers don't give me enough of a sense of any of the characters (outside of Starlord) to want to see them, even if they are cute and furry. At this point the jury is still out, but if I had to place a bet, I'd say the odds of me seeing this film are pretty low.
posted by sardonyx at 7:58 PM on February 21, 2014

Marvel Circling Black Widow Solo Film
posted by homunculus at 10:21 PM on February 21, 2014

Rumor: Marvel Is Choosing Between These Four Directors for the Doctor Strange Movie
posted by homunculus at 10:25 PM on February 21, 2014

The Dr Strange directors are a mixed bunch, aren't they? I wonder if it's going to be a quiet little movie, on of their mid-tier ones, all Hammer horror and occasional Ditko weirdness, so if it works, great, it's off to a $100 million budget and a bitch-slappin' good time in the realm of Dormannu.
If not: slummin' with the Defenders* on Netflix.

Not that Marvel asks me, but something like The Ninth Gate would work for Strange.

I'm not overly interested in a Black Widow movie. The character is purty to look at, but so far on screen I haven't felt she's that compelling.

("Defenders", that is).
posted by Mezentian at 10:40 PM on February 21, 2014

I've been a fan of Mightygodking 's I SHOULD WRITE DOCTOR STRANGE for too long to have an actual opinion on the directors, just wanting Dr. Strange to be the thoughtful, courtly, diplomatic and fair kind of Sorcerer Supreme That Chris was imagined. be can inhabit is his own little corner of the marvel universe .
posted by The Whelk at 10:46 PM on February 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

I don't know.
I've heard Doc Hammer from Venture Brothers wants to write the Doc Strange movie.
I'm torn.
We might need to take them out to Vasquez Rocks and let them fight it out.
posted by Mezentian at 10:50 PM on February 21, 2014

When Marvel asked me to do a story in Strange Tales I wanted to do Dr. strange but I realized PRETTY QUICKLY that it's impossible to write a Dr. strange story without accidentally writing a Dr. Orpheus story.
posted by The Whelk at 10:56 PM on February 21, 2014 [5 favorites]

Black Widow would be better if she wasn't played by ScarJo. ScarJo is good at some things, but she doesn't really do Black Widow all that well. ScarJo is good at being wry and dry, but that approach doesn't work for me for Black Widow.

I imagine Black Widow to be much more snappy and swashbuckling, and almost gleeful. She's not necessarily all smiles, but she does get a huge kick out of being Black Widow. In my head, she's much more like the Errol Flynn Robin Hood than she is like a Woody Allen character.

I can't think off the top of my head who the best Black Widow would be, but "young Geena Davis" is basically what I'm thinking of.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:59 PM on February 21, 2014

I wonder if it's going to be a quiet little movie

It's a Marvel movie. There's not a lick of a chance.

thoughtful, courtly, diplomatic and fair kind of Sorcerer Supreme

I think I disagree. Captain America already plays the courtly and fair role in the Marvel movieverse to some extent. I hope they take it down the seventies sleazeploitation route as much as possible. The sorcery part of the MU is best when it feels like it could be something spraypainted on the side of a van. Alan Moore parodied the dirty beatnik origins of Dr. Strange with Johnny Beyond, and I think something like that would work well to distinguish him from the other heroes. Stephen Strange should be extremely competent, but so inscrutable that he comes across as deeply unpleasant and weird.

Almost villainous, in fact. It's worth noting that before studying with the Ancient One, he was one of the single worst individuals in the MU (see The Oath for example), and he didn't really reform as much as he decided to shoulder a burden out of responsibility. I think his selfishness and distance from normal human concerns should still be a part of his character. I liked how Fraction depicted him in the recent Defenders run (although having him sleep with his grad student was too far, too far).

This isn't to say that the stately and courtly and kind Dr. Strange is necessarily a misreading. Both Dr. Stranges are there in the comics. But I think the elder statesman, Gandalf-like Stephen Strange is a lot less interesting and a lot more generic. Making him a goody-two-shoes that says weird stuff also runs the risk of playing up those character traits just to give him an interesting personality. And then you end up with Dr. Orpheus. A Dr. Strange movie should be structured like an episode of Doctor Who: you can't really empathize too much with him and he needs to be alien and off-putting at times, so you need to give him a companion to play the role of the audience surrogate (Wong? A Clea with a different backstory?).
posted by painquale at 2:24 AM on February 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

There was a brief flurry of enthusiasm in my remote corner of Twitter a few years ago for Matt Berry to play Dr Strange. He might not look much like him, but just imagine him saying "Dormammu!" You could get a movie out of that alone.
posted by Grangousier at 2:58 AM on February 22, 2014 [4 favorites]

That is a... bizarre collection of possible directors.

Matt Berry as Doctor Strange, on the other hand, is an amazing idea, and marginally more likely than my dream casting of Chris Morris.

(Slightly more seriously, the Dr Strange that I'd like to see on screen, on reflection, is the groovy Dr Strange who was basically all about Greenwich Village, and bumps into Tom Wolfe at the New Year celebrations. In a strange cross-over with this FPP, I have a suspicion that comic book writers no longer being able to afford to do more than visit Manhattan for staff meetings is degrading their ability to write Dr Strange...)
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:31 AM on February 22, 2014

Yeah, that's definitely the Dr. Strange I want to see, but current-day Greenwich Village isn't the place for him any more. I'm not sure where he should live now. Gowanus, maybe.
posted by painquale at 4:47 AM on February 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

There isn't really a good analog in NYC anymore, Gowanus is too industrial and spartan.

You could just ...pretend the area is still like that without ever mentioni it by name....

(As for Strange, like the blog I linked too, I think a good way to separate him from the Other McU characters is to up the Mystery Plot. He's Magic Sherlock Holmes in a cape, roughly.)
posted by The Whelk at 6:48 AM on February 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

( oh and my pitched but not used Strange script! "Floor Plan" where in Strange attempts to sell his townhouse in the current market ( which is of course just a front for something else cause who's going to show up at an Open House for this particular house? Things Strange needs to keep tabs on and are currently in hiding.)
posted by The Whelk at 6:50 AM on February 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

During Dark Reign, the Sanctum Sanctorum was disguised as a Starbucks under construction. That's definitely good camouflage for modern-day Bleecker Street, but also an indication that it's not the right neighborhood for him.

You could probably relocate him to London or New Orleans or somewhere and not do too much damage to the character. Or have the house simultaneously exist in a whole bunch of different cities.
posted by painquale at 7:56 AM on February 22, 2014

You could probably relocate him to London

So, a reverse Constantine?
posted by Mezentian at 8:03 AM on February 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

It doesn't have to be any one place, as mentioned above. The Garden Door leads to Calliope Street in New Orleans, the front door opens out on Greenwich Street in New York, the under stairs door in the hall leads to Earl's Court in London and the upstairs linen closet is a direct passage to the Realm Of Stars And Knives.

It's a very good way to prevent snooping.
posted by The Whelk at 8:06 AM on February 22, 2014

Isn't that Doctor Fate's House Of Mystery, or am I confused that with the Avenger's Infinite Mansion?
posted by Mezentian at 8:09 AM on February 22, 2014

I'd like a Doctor Strange movie starring Mos Def, directed by Alfonso Cuarón.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:45 AM on February 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

I really liked the one elaborate fancasting of Jeff Goldblum as Doctor Strange, though he may be too old. (Not that Strange is necessarily young or that I dislike older actors, but it will make me sad if actors drop out because of waning enthusiasm for grueling action movie stunts.)

I would also like to think up some actor names for characters who aren't yet another white dude, because I love the MCU but there's no reason all the heroes have to still be white dudes. At the very least I would love to see Russian Jew Natasha and ethnically Jewish Goldblum!Strange, a la the actors.

In related news, Michael B. Jordan SNARKS FLAWLESSLY.
posted by nicebookrack at 11:10 AM on February 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

I am SO fucking ALL OVER THIS!

One of the things I always loved about Marvel was that it took place not in Metropolis or Smallville or Gotham but in Manhattan and Brooklyn and Queens in the real world.

But I always did love the Space epic stuff. GotG, Kree-Skrull War, Nova Corps, Rom & the Spaceknights, Adam Warlock, Pip the Troll. I loved that shit like crazy.

My fingers are crossed so hard for this not to suck I may break one.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 12:44 PM on February 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

I kind of wish Doctor Strange was already introduced on the periphery of the movies we've seen as someone known only to connected people like Fury, like maybe Hill or Coulson brings his name up when he's getting the Avengers Initiative together and Fury dismisses it, all "First of all, you shouldn't even know what you think you know about Dr. Stephen Strange's new career and I'd better not hear you mention it outside this room. Second, Strange already has his hands full saving this world and I do not want to distract him. I won't even pretend to understand the kinds of things he deals with, and I'm content to let him continue to deal with it because I'm pretty sure we can't. End of discussion." so there's a clearly defined line already existing between the kind of thing he is and the kind of thing the Avengers are. Because I'm a little worried that we'll get "the superhero who blasts things with shiny magic effects instead of shiny repulsor effects" instead of the kind of take on Strange that really warrants its own movie.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:31 PM on February 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Still though, Marvel's got Blade and Ghost Rider rights back, and I'm psyched to see them open up the dirty 70's magic side of the universe. That's really the kind of stuff I'd like to see them do in another round of Netflix series, maybe individual series for Blade, Ghost Rider, Brother Voodoo and a Nextwave-style Elsa Bloodstone hunting monsters? Damn Fox for having the rights to Magik, though. I wonder if Sony's got Morbius? He'd be a great addition to a Blade series, with his scientific origin making him kind of a wild card.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:42 PM on February 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

This is where I like the idea of Strange as a consulting detective, so to speak. Some utterly strange/horrifying thing appears/happens and Coulson has some big dramatic "There's one only person on Earth who can answer that question." line

then *SMASH CUT* Coulson ringing the doorbell of a townhouse on a sunny street. *beat* *beat* Coulson presses the doorbell again. *beat* *beat* Beat* He presses the doorbell long and hard until it opens mid-ring.
posted by The Whelk at 7:43 PM on February 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Then we have some very civilized scene in the good doctor's library we're they establish he's civil, refined, on good speaking terms with SHIELD and up on everything but not an official member (more like someone they consult with) and, through some visual bits (He snaps the fireplace on, or is introduced writing notes with a pen that moves by itself), that he's TOTALLY A WIZARD and said SHIELD person talking to him isn't fazed by this at all (again, establishing that he's a known thing in the world, just not one they've had to contact/use)

In a brief scene we can set up how he's like the other MCU heroes, but off on his own thing.
posted by The Whelk at 7:49 PM on February 22, 2014

The other thing I want to see as one of Marvel's Netflix series is She-Hulk set in the world and tone of Dan Slott's run, with her working at Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Holliway, and Awesome Andy and Two-Gun Kid (Nathan Fillion if he's up for it) as supporting characters. Finally get that "whirlwind trip around the Marvel Universe" series I thought Agents of SHIELD was going to be.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:50 PM on February 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

She-Hulk should be a legal drama about the law of superheroes, it just happens to star someone green.

Actually I realize what I want is a set-up movie that introduces the Magic part of the MCU (Like we've seen setting up the Cosmic part) where Dr. Strange is like Hannibal Lektor in Manhunter - he's only got four scenes but they're important and memorable - and then he gets his own movie which fleshes out his story a bit and gives him his own corner to play in.

But before that hes just this guy SHIELD occasionally goes to when they're stumped.
posted by The Whelk at 7:55 PM on February 22, 2014

Yeah, Strange needs a smaller introduction that gives him some kind of mystique and weight before he gets his own movie, imo. And, Iron Man already did the "asshole turns good" origin story, so if they do his origin right off the bat it'll seem a bit tired. He should already be an established hero when we get to him.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:02 PM on February 22, 2014

Also, Strange with a drop of Indiana Jones/Tintin might be cool. I'm picturing Strange on the case of a cult not entirely unlike the Thugee in Temple of Doom (though, y'know, less cartoonish), a nice globetrotting first act where this mild-mannered, enigmatic, slightly bookish guy and his partner Wong (and this is a fantastic opportunity to rehabilitate Wong as his own man with his own agency from day one) are traveling, blending in with tourists, out to investigate this remote cult - y'know, could just be a bunch of nutjobs, but the Sorcerer Supreme's gotta do due diligence on these things - and then Big Evil Magic starts going down and there's his first big power reveal protecting the tourists. And the cult business, of course, leads to a confrontation with Dormammu. Clea, who escaped Dormammu and the Dark Dimension on her own before Strange even met her, is working the case on her own and they meet up, and she can more than hold her own and actually ends up taking the Sorcerer Supreme down a peg or two when he thinks he's got the entirety of this magic shit on lockdown (sometimes that old ego still creeps up on Strange, he's an established hero but it's early days still).
posted by jason_steakums at 8:17 PM on February 22, 2014

I don't even think we really need the reformed surgeon jerk plotline? At least not in any major way? Let us meet him at this moment in his life, a very knowledgeable, secure, gentleman who also happens to battle with the magical forces of the universe - more Academic, reactive, stem conflicts from aspects of being an older, wiser kind of superhero - you can go with so many more thematic directions that way, in a way you can't with the other MCU heroes who are all basically youngish people (In attitude if not time). Show someone allready on the other side of Tony's ongoing maturation process.

Agreed, definitely. This actually puts him in a mentoring position to Tony, the voice of experience. That can be the only ride through Strange's origin we ever need, him telling the tale to Tony when he's at a low point to kind of help him through it, maybe surprising Tony when he finds himself about to give in and fall off the wagon.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:22 PM on February 22, 2014

If we're only allowed one reformed selfish jerk per universe, we're...going to run out of superheroes quickly. Unless we reform all the villains, which gives us the opposite problem.

That's one reason I rather like the idea of Goldblumy Strange as Dr. Ian Malcolm with the serial numbers filed off: intelligent & right & still odd/irritating enough to be brushed off. The difference being Strange will actually use chaos theory to save you from the velociraptors instead of just saying, "we're all going to die, TOLD YOU SO."

It would also honestly be pretty fun to see a Doctor Strange riffing off Doctor Orpheus: the way that Watchmen playing off the Question with Rorschach in turn gave us the excellently Rorschachian Question in the Justice League animated universe.
posted by nicebookrack at 9:48 PM on February 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh he can sill be irritating (and RIGHT!) but not in the same way Tony is, I think the age/gentlemanly aspect is enough to separate them.

Although with Dr. Orpheus thing? They should just run with it, the MCU is more about fun adventure these days, with a side dish of characterization. Strange as slightly eccentric, clashing against the mundane world person would be both totally in their tone and totally like Dr. Orpheus. Just turn the nob away from parody two notches and it works. He can take down the eternal evil of the madness dimension and then be at an All-night Denny's ordering a Moons Over My-Hammy with perfect diction.
posted by The Whelk at 9:59 PM on February 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

The saddest thing about Marvel not having film rights to the Fantastic Four is that we won't get one of Ben Grimm's poker games on the big screen :/
posted by jason_steakums at 10:55 PM on February 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

Can we have less SHIELD?
Less SHIELD in the comics, and less SHIELD in the films?

I wonder how much they'd change* Wong up for the screen. Even in the comics today you can pretty much trace his look back to The Yellow Kid. While it still kind of works in comics, I doubt it would translate well in screen, even though it's really not that much different than the stuffy English butler trope.

Also, Clea Duvall would make a great Clea.

Also, they have cast a Welsh actor as Constantine. And, well, apparently our need for superheroes is so strong now that we need a reboot of Heroes.

Wasn't there a sizzle reel a while back about a down and dirty disco era Daredevil film? That's the Hell's Kitchen I want to see. And so far they've not done anything that closes a door to a MCU '70s universe, so long as they avoid alien invasions.

(Caught my typo: Chang Wong up? Damn, I miss Community)
posted by Mezentian at 11:34 PM on February 22, 2014

If we're only allowed one reformed selfish jerk per universe, we're...going to run out of superheroes quickly.

That's why I think it's important to not reform Dr. Strange. He's still a jerk, but one with duties and one who has been somewhat humbled.

Iron Man and Dr. Strange are very different breeds of jerk, anyway. Dr. Strange isn't sarcastic or a hedonist. He's the senior professor who is clearly brilliant but who is hated by all the undergrads because he doesn't have time for them, doesn't bother to make his lectures comprehensible, and then gives them all Fs when they can't keep up.

I like that Dr. Strange has an origin story with very different motivations and a different trajectory, and I think it'd be a shame to lose it. It overlaps slightly with Iron Fist's, so it would not surprise me if they combine the two and make the Ancient One live in K'un Lun. The first Dr. Strange movie, I think, should be like watching a movie about the birth of a villain like Dr. Doom or Magneto. But throughout the last half of the movie, the forces our antihero finds himself fighting (like Dormammu) are so much worse that Strange finds himself becoming a hero in spite of himself. His motives should never be clear to either the characters or to the audience. In future movies, SHIELD should never know whether they approach him for help as an ally or as vassals in his cosmic fiefdom.
posted by painquale at 3:45 AM on February 23, 2014

Basically, I want Dr. Strange to be the Doctor when the Doctor isn't faffing on about how wonderful and unique humanity is.
posted by painquale at 3:49 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]

Strange is part of the core Marvel titles, a typical product of Stan Lee. This means he absolutely needs his feet of clay - a man who believes he is at the very top of achievement, who has it taken from him. He seeks to regain it, only to discover that he was nowhere near the top of achievement... and if he seeks the lofty heights of this new world revealed to him, he must change himself to earn it and work constantly to keep it and to shoulder the responsibilities and dire consequences that comes with it.

It's a metaphor for leaving childhood, with all of the achievements and comforts you may have become accustomed to, and to explore the much wider world of adulthood, which is both wonderful and scary.

All of the best Doctor Strange stories are about Stephen exploring a never-ending cosmos of wonder, and contending with what he finds. Why he does this - the fallen surgeon who must leave his ego and selfishness behind to allow himself to reach his potential - must be examined, as it's essential to the character and to the nature of the story.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:29 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yeah, but... this can be dealt with pretty quickly. Like, Stephen Strange can explain it over a cup of tea.

"No need to apologize, Mr. Fury. I understand Mr Stark has some adjustments to make. I also believed that I was master of my universe, only to find the universe was far larger than I had ever imagined. Did you know that I was once the world's most expensive neurosurgeon? Of course you did. It's your job to know.

Sadly, success led to pride, and to the trappings of pride - fine wines, philandering, fast cars. One of those fast cars took me into a wall, at high speed, and took away the use of my hands. Even now, I can barely hold this cup of rather excellent tea without it shaking.

I thought I was looking for a cure when I arrived at that distant sanctuary in Tibet. What I found was... a new perspective. And that amulet, which I strongly suggest you put down, Mr Stark, before your own perspective becomes a little more... truncated."

I mean, really, enough with the origin stories.
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:09 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

No way... origin stories are one of the best parts of superhero comics, and the recent crop of Marvel movies have been hitting it out of the park with them.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:18 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

Still though, Marvel's got Blade and Ghost Rider rights back, and I'm psyched to see them open up the dirty 70's magic side of the universe.

YES! THIS is where Marvel needs to put all the grimdark stuff, because it fits so fucking well. I want diminutive anthropomorphic mammals with machine-guns, I want wise-cracking Spidey, and enough with the fucking brooding, emo-heros!

Do I want a brooding, grimdark Midnight Sons franchise with magical flame-splosions and demons?

Like Galactus wants to eat.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:58 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]

No way... origin stories are one of the best parts of superhero comics, and the recent crop of Marvel movies have been hitting it out of the park with them.

I suspect this is probably one of those situations in which de gustibus non est disputandum... but in the specific case of Doctor Strange, there's already a recent and decent origin story movie in the animated 2007 Doctor Strange, which may be affecting my perspective.

More generally, the Stan Lee character journey is certainly a classic, but if we go through it with the first film of every character we meet - I'm on top of the world, I am suddenly thrown down from the giddy heights to the lowest depths, I am now dedicating myself to my fellow man - it might get a bit repetitive.

One thing I liked about Captain America was that that it was an origin story, but the Lee arc kept being subverted. Steve Rogers starts out with his moral compass totally aligned, and goes through a series of inconveniences, at the rapid resolution of each of which he is better able to express his basic good nature.

So, Steve Rogers is feeling sad because he can't sign up and fight the Nazis - oh, hold on a second, YES HE CAN. Steve Rogers is a super-soldier, but he's sad because he is being used as a PR tool and can't fight actual bad guys - oh, hold on a second, YES HE CAN. Now Steve Rogers is sad because he thinks Howard Stark is making whoopee with the girl he's sweet on... oh, wait, they talk about it and it's totally cool! It was just nice to watch...
posted by running order squabble fest at 11:33 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]

Like, Stephen Strange can explain it over a cup of tea.

"No need to apologize, Mr. Fury. I understand Mr Stark has some adjustments to make. I also believed that I was master of my universe, only to find the universe was far larger than I had ever imagined. Did you know that I was once the world's most expensive neurosurgeon?

Cut to titles, do the origin story, roll credits. The stinger will be Fury and Stark looking uncomfortable until Fury says "So, does that mean you'll help?"
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:00 PM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

I am really curious about how the magic users like Doctor Strange will fit into the MCU aesthetic. And by curious I mean worried. One of my favorite bits in Thor 2 is astrophysicist Jane talking to the snooty Asgardian healers as they wave magic wands over her.

Jane: "Ooh, is that a [specific science gadget]?"
Snooty Asgardian who hates stupid humans: "Nooooo, it is a [soul weaving magical thingamjig]."
Jane: "Does it do [specific scientific process]?"
Snooty Asgardian: ".....yes."
Jane: (sotto voce) "It's a [specific science gadget]."

So the MCU plays like a hard scifi universe. It's really not—most of the technobabble is bullshit, the Hulk breaks all laws of physics, Tony welds things and waves his hands around for POOF new elements—but the semi-hard scifi intent is there. The Asgardians gods are just really old aliens with advanced technology. "Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from science." And I love that!

But once you bring the cosmic magic a la Doctor Strange: he's not bending light to create holograms or however Loki's illusions work. He's calling on the spirit power of the dread Dormamu from the 23½ dimension beyond the veil. And it will be interesting to see whether at that point the MCU goes "Well, guess science was wrong, this is beyond science!" or "This is still REALLY COMPLICATED SCIENCE, dammit!"
posted by nicebookrack at 4:01 PM on February 23, 2014 [4 favorites]

Vaguely related to the Shield discussion, I was watching the second to last episode this morning, which involved a visit to a Shield training academy which had a "Wall of Valor" to honor all the Shield agents who had died in the service. One character, everyone's favorite Skye, I think, touched one name and said it out loud, "Bucky Barnes." No....foreshadowing there.

I'm pretty interested to see how little or how much the show crosses over with Captain America this spring.
posted by Atreides at 5:47 PM on February 23, 2014

And it will be interesting to see whether at that point the MCU goes "Well, guess science was wrong, this is beyond science!" or "This is still REALLY COMPLICATED SCIENCE, dammit!"

That distinction kind of goes out the window when you bring in stuff like Galactus or Celestials or Thanos wielding the Infinity Gauntlet. The "cosmic" part of the Marvel Universe is usually presented as super-science (Reed Richards can use Science to sorta detect and understand Galactus and other cosmic stuff), but the relationships among Galactus, the Asgardians, Dormammu, Mephisto, the Celestials, Death, Eternity, etc. are really muddled, especially when you get to stuff like the Infinity Gauntlet, which is where the Mighty Marvel Movieverse seems headed.
posted by straight at 8:00 PM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

Here's the first official poster. They're definitely having fun with this.

I like this one.
posted by homunculus at 12:08 AM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

More generally, the Stan Lee character journey is certainly a classic, but if we go through it with the first film of every character we meet - I'm on top of the world, I am suddenly thrown down from the giddy heights to the lowest depths, I am now dedicating myself to my fellow man - it might get a bit repetitive.

But how else will the character be set up for the showdown with the antagonist who is just like him … only stronger?

(If I could work out how to work in a reference to the antagonist's capture being a part of his plan, I would.)
posted by Grangousier at 2:01 AM on February 24, 2014

One character, everyone's favorite Skye, I think, touched one name and said it out loud, "Bucky Barnes." No....foreshadowing there.

We, the few, the proud, know.
We, the ones with our mobile phones switched to video for the Red Wedding.
We know.
posted by Mezentian at 5:29 AM on February 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

CBrachyrhynchos: "Agents of SHIELD disappointed me by revealing Tahiti without triggering my latent Skrull programming. Now the mystery is "What's up with Skye?" That's only partly mitigated by an episode of badassery including Simmons wrestling with a live grenade, and May laughing at the man who just stabbed her with a knife, because she's going to kill him with it."

One of Coulson's lines in the last episode had a nice blink-and-you-missed-it nod to continuity with the movie The Incredible Hulk. Coulson threatens to send Ward to Alaska to guard Emil "The Abomination" Blonsky's cryo-cell.

I also liked seeing the two of them try to navigate the holotable. "Holotable... on."
posted by zarq at 7:11 AM on February 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

That distinction kind of goes out the window when you bring in stuff like Galactus or Celestials or Thanos wielding the Infinity Gauntlet. The "cosmic" part of the Marvel Universe is usually presented as super-science (Reed Richards can use Science to sorta detect and understand Galactus and other cosmic stuff), but the relationships among Galactus, the Asgardians, Dormammu, Mephisto, the Celestials, Death, Eternity, etc. are really muddled, especially when you get to stuff like the Infinity Gauntlet, which is where the Mighty Marvel Movieverse seems headed.

Indeed, this vid from Marvel, Ryan Penagos describes Gotd as "The first Marvel Studios film to literally [used correctly] explore the Marvel Universe."

I'm IN. I want Tony Stark making techno-stuff, AND I want Celestials who exist on a cosmic level we can never truly grok. I imagine at that level of existence, when the small, planet-bound beings start yammering for answer about answers re: "science vs magic" insistently, one of their stature just shakes their 100M tall head and think "Your question makes no sense."

And then questioner's head explodes from the reply.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 4:54 PM on February 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yeah, but the weird part is if you want to say Dr. Strange's magic is just science to the Celestials, but Reed Richards seems to understand the Celestials and other cosmic stuff much better than Strange, while not comprehending much about Strange's magic. Reed's super-science seems capable of detecting an incursion from the Celestials but not one from the Dark Dimension.
posted by straight at 6:38 PM on February 25, 2014

On a tangent, since someone called The Collector Mugatu, I haven't been able to unsee it. And am now imagining a world in which Mugatu and Uatu are siblings...
posted by running order squabble fest at 7:14 PM on February 25, 2014

Guardians of the Galaxy: GoT's Jason Momoa turned down Drax role
posted by homunculus at 12:07 PM on February 26, 2014

Not that I had much hope for Drax to have more than six lines in the first place, but still, that's annoying.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:33 PM on February 26, 2014

I also liked seeing the two of them try to navigate the holotable. "Holotable... on."

That was absolutely hilarious. "Can you zoom in?"

Video: Hulu via IMDB, YouTube
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 12:40 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Kevin Feige downplays director rumours for Marvel's upcoming Doctor Strange film.

Marvel's Netflix TV series to film in New York

As much as I am "These are not the Defenders I was looking for" I am astounded that Netflix has committed to 60 hours of TV. I know zip about Netflix and I am not in the TV biz, but even across a few different shows that's astounding.

For what it's worth, I mentioned the Daredevil sizzle reel before. Here 'tis if you have not seen it. The director, Joe Carnahan, cut it together from existing material to pitch a film to Sony or whoever before they lost the rights, and as rough as it is, make my Daredevil 1970s!
posted by Mezentian at 2:20 AM on February 27, 2014

Barack Obama: 'We're Building Iron Man'

Not really, of course, but PRESIDENT NERD. And Tony Stark was Secretary of Defense at one point.
posted by zombieflanders at 8:46 AM on February 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

As much as I am "These are not the Defenders I was looking for"...

I heard that!

I'm both psyched and concerned about how these shows will play out. I mean, one of the reasons so much good TV has come out of cable recently in America is bc broadcast standards and practices are stuck in the late 20th century*, while cable has bloody violence, swearing, and softcore porn/nudity. Not that those are defining off what's good, but creative freedom-wise, cable is where it's at.

At the same time, these are comic book characters with a youthful audience. I can't see them going full-on Spartacus or even Game of Thrones with this stuff.

But honestly, I'd love to see Marvel go there.

---

* Once on a podcast, the speaker was saying that, while being interviewed from German television, he (an American) dropped an F-Bomb. Suddenly chastened, he asked his interviewer if that was OK on German TV.

The response I remember was "Oh yes, you can say fuck on German TV. I think the rule is No erect penises before 10pm"
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:58 AM on February 27, 2014

The only thing that has me really wary about the Netflix stuff is that the studio has confirmed that they'll be under Jeph Loeb's purview.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:42 AM on February 27, 2014

The only thing that has me really wary about the Netflix stuff is that the studio has confirmed that they'll be under Jeph Loeb's purview.

Well that just threw a bucket of cold water on my expectations.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:00 AM on February 27, 2014

Loeb. His sins are...?
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:01 AM on February 27, 2014

Heroes. Ultimatum. A bunch of other godawful comics - he used to be pretty good though, he did some great work with Tim Sale (Batman: The Long Halloween and some other stuff).
posted by jason_steakums at 10:10 AM on February 27, 2014

Ah, I see.

Red Hulk: Hulk but angrier. That’s right. Angry Hulk, the angriest of the angry characters in the Marvel Universe. Capable of splitting the crust of the planet with his anger in fact while green is now red. And he’s angrier. This off the back of the exceptional Planet Hulk. A moment in which The Hulk had found pathos and scope and strength in character almost unseen since he was handled by the almighty Peter David (with deft subtlety and aplomb), Marvel choose to hand it to Loeb. This would be fine except that Loeb is now reknowned for taking existing characters at their most beloved and popular and shitting on them from a great height seemingly because everyone knows the smell of shit. It’s popular and well known and people do talk about it Loeb, no doubt. But nobody actually likes the smell of shit.

posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:14 AM on February 27, 2014

Red Hulk is another tick in the "there are no bad characters, only bad writers" column, because despite a godawful first showing and really no need to exist as a character, other, better writers came in later and did quite well with what they had to work with. There's mileage in "Gen. Ross, defined entirely by his hatred of Banner and the Hulk, is now a Hulk. Let's see how he deals!", I mean, that's right up the classic Peter David Hulk alley. Not so much in "BIGGER STRONGER SMARTER ANGRIER HULK RAAARR" though, which is as far as I can tell the entire reason he was created.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:42 AM on February 27, 2014

Jeff Parker did a great job with Red Hulk. It helped that he didn't write a year-long "mystery" about RH's identity (Thunderbolt Ross, as mentioned above) in which he conclusively ruled out Ross as a candidate by having them appear in the same place at the same time.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 10:57 AM on February 27, 2014

I highly enjoy that the mustache goes away when he Hulks out.
posted by jason_steakums at 11:01 AM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh, hey, we're hating on Jeph Loeb here? Why didn't somebody tell me earlier? I say we get together and launch him into space so he can do no more destruction here on Earth. All those in favor say, "Aye." Motion carries, let's go get a taco.
posted by entropicamericana at 11:16 AM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Huh. I guess I've just avoided all of Loeb's terrible shit. All I really know him from is his work with Sale on a bunch of Batman stuff that's been pretty good, honestly. I can't remember ever reading a Marvel comic that he was the lead on, at least that I remembered him specifically.
posted by klangklangston at 11:54 AM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

I highly enjoy that the mustache goes away when he Hulks out.

Hulk's sons got to keep their mustaches when they Hulked out in Old Man Logan!

I don't want Loeb to touch Iron Fist. This is bad news.
posted by painquale at 12:12 PM on February 27, 2014

The quality of Loeb's writing has taken a severe downturn in the wake of his son's death. I don't like to pile on Loeb in light of the circumstances but he really needs to take a sabbatical from writing superhero comics for a while so he can process his grief in a manner that doesn't negatively affect a company's literary properties.

This is a man who wrote one of the definitive Batman stories ever (The Long Halloween) and Superman For All Seasons (which helped me grok Superman in a way that no other writer had done before). To see the decline in his work, either just through sheer crappiness (Ulitamatum, etc) or through a ham-fisted approach to memorializing his son Sam (Nova, New Ultimates #1) saddens me. I think his grief is blocking his talent at this point in his career.
posted by KingEdRa at 12:55 PM on February 27, 2014 [4 favorites]

Let's not forget Jeph Loeb also gave us the following fine pieces of cinema: Burglar (starring Whoopi Goldberg) and Teen Wolf Too (staring Michael Bluth).
posted by entropicamericana at 1:34 PM on February 27, 2014

He's also partially responsible for Heroes, which is by far the worst precedent here.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:42 PM on February 27, 2014

It was pretty good for a one-season show.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:42 PM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

His son is the basis for Sam, the new Nova?
Well, that's sure as hell going to put a twist on the first arc when I re-read it for the Nova film.

You know a Nova film is coming starring the Sam Alexander character. You know it.
posted by Mezentian at 4:24 PM on February 27, 2014

One note - "under the purview of" and "written by" aren't likely to be the same thing. Jeph Loeb has been heading up Marvel's TV division for a few years, after the Disney acquisition. I don't know if he actually is writing episodes of the Netflix series, but he's a level upstairs from the writers generally, and has instead been supervising Marvel's broadly successful animation (often executed by Man of Action) and live-action TV products (the latter being Agents of SHIELD, so far, which I think is getting "patchy but improving" marks in this thread). He hasn't been a regular series writer on any of those properties.

(As an aside, I find it hard to bag too hard on Loeb, since the total damage to me of pretty much the worst thing that could happen to a person happening to him ran to about three dollars, that being what I spent on a copy of Wolverine that I did not find enjoyable. However, reviews for Nova, which I haven't read, seem to be decent - not Long Halloween, but not Ultimatum - so hopefully things are getting better for him, creatively and personally.)
posted by running order squabble fest at 6:19 AM on February 28, 2014

I think the issue w/ Nova is that not that it is a bad comic book but that this is now the third time in comics published by the Big Two that Loeb has inserted Sam into comics. I doubt a writer who wasn't part of Marvel management and didn't have Loeb's stature as a writer would be given the latitude that Loeb has had in doing this multiple times and in the case of Nova, basing the title character of a comic on his son.

Believe me, I wish the guy the best and understand why he's doing this but there comes a time when you have to take step back and ask if this is good for your professional reputation. What I don't want to see happen to Loeb is what actually is happening; he's becoming known more as "the guy who keeps writing comics about his dead son" while being forgotten as the man who wrote The Long Halloween, etc. Maybe in his grief that's what he wants but I don't think its made him a better writer and if I was his editor, I would tell him that.
posted by KingEdRa at 7:29 AM on February 28, 2014

I can't imagine he doesn't know it's affected his work, and his sales are still strong, so I don't know if there's really incentive to stop the homages to Sam - which I would probably do at every chance I got if I were in his position, because seriously, what an amazing opportunity for a tribute to his son. But then again it's pretty much everything outside of the stuff that directly references Sam that's been slipping in quality, the Sam stuff is actually heartfelt and you can tell he puts a lot of care into it, it's the big splashy blockbuster stuff that's problematic.

The start of his slip came before Sam's death, and I think it's due more to Loeb just having less editorial interference (which some writers work best under) after he became a big blockbuster writer in the late 90's - Batman: Hush, 2002 is where I peg the start of it. That also lines up with Sam's diagnosis as far as I can tell, but I'd be willing to bet that it's more just Loeb falling into a similar trap to Millar, Miller, Straczynski, a ton of other writers - they became A Big Name and suddenly had fewer constraints and less editorial "interference" (which was actually editorial help, and made their earlier work better). The George Lucas effect is pretty common.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:50 AM on February 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Quite possibly - like I said, I haven't read Nova, although my understanding is that the character is named after, rather than based on, Loeb's son.

That said, another worthwhile point here is that nobody reads comic books - or, at a greater level of granularity, not many people read any given comic book. So, you can use them to give young writers who are valuable to your company for their screenwriting work a second income stream and a chance to create in the medium they love (like maybe Christopher Yost). You can use them to begin a relationship with a successful producer in another medium who will accept a fraction of their usual rate because they grew up with the medium and want to play with it (like Joss Whedon). Or you can use them as a place where a talented and respected friend and colleague can work through some difficult times without hitting the parts of your product line that make real money.

Nova's a series regular in Ultimate Spider-Man, which is one of the tentpoles of MarvelXD's programming - so I would imagine watched by a few million people worldwide. At some point, if everything goes according to plan, the character will probably appear in a Marvel Studios movie, which will be watched by tens of millions of people over its life. Nova the comic book? A bump in sales with issue, 1 but tracking at about 40,000 copies through the direct market.

Why, as the head of Disney, would you worry about that? Jeph Loeb is the valued EVP of a profitable part of a subsidiary business. He has a spare-time project, which is the comic book Nova. Sure, why not? It's going to cost less to make and distribute than the catering budget of Avengers 2. The idea that his professional reputation at this point is based on one comic book, rather than his understanding of how superheroes work on TV, is I think upside down. His professional reputation is based on his ability to extract value from Marvel's IP.
posted by running order squabble fest at 8:09 AM on February 28, 2014

You're right that if somebody makes money for the company you can't really fault the executives for sticking with then. But I'm a fan of the properties and genres that Loeb works in, but every time I watch/read something he worked on, either as a producer or a writer, the best I can say about it is that it had good parts, or a few fun ideas. He hasn't turned out anything that I've unreservedly liked in ages. So I'm still allowed to be disappointed when I get excited about something and then it turns out that he's in charge.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:21 AM on February 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Nova's a series regular in Ultimate Spider-Man, which is one of the tentpoles of MarvelXD's programming

Such a great series, btw. If anyone hasn't watched it and is curious, it's on Netflix, and check out the episode "Freaky" (season one episode 9 on Netflix, I think it's actually episode 10 for reals though). It's an adaptation of a ridiculous comics story where Spidey and Wolverine switch brains Freaky Friday-style and it's fantastic.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:34 AM on February 28, 2014

So I'm still allowed to be disappointed when I get excited about something and then it turns out that he's in charge.

Oh, sure. It's just that "is the EVP of the division that is producing [property]" is very different from "is the producer/writer of", is all I'm saying, and the former is all that is known at this point. Like, one can absolutely make a broad assessment of one's feelings about Kevin Feige based on watching the Marvel movies, but the line from Kevin Feige to any particular scene may be of greater or lesser length, and is unlikely to be short.
posted by running order squabble fest at 8:34 AM on February 28, 2014

I'm lumping Marvel's current TV output (except the Hulk show, which I haven't seen any of) under that banner, though. So far he hasn't exactly had a golden touch, quality-wise.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:42 AM on February 28, 2014

It's an adaptation of a ridiculous comics story where Spidey and Wolverine switch brains Freaky Friday-style and it's fantastic.

I've been pretty underwhelmed by the series, truth be told - mostly because of stuff like this, which is in the stock repetoir of every cartoon show ever. It wants to be Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, with even more Amazing Friends, "homages" to Teen Titans that might be better described as blatant, bad rip-offs, boilerplate plots and an unworkably small cast of stock voice actors. (The Deadpool episode was particularly painful because of the last point.)

The show's Doc Oc is a pretty darn cool re-envisioning of the character, but everything else has been a disappointment. I much preffered the CGI spidey series that came out a few years back.

My kid has been watching a lot of Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, and it's actually more fun to watch than Ultimate Spidey. (Plus there's no hitting, which makes it accessible for toddlers. Everyone is very clever about using their powers to trap or trick the bad-guys.)
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:12 AM on February 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Childhood Pics of Super Heroes
posted by homunculus at 4:04 PM on March 1, 2014

My kid has been watching a lot of Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, and it's actually more fun to watch than Ultimate Spidey. (Plus there's no hitting, which makes it accessible for toddlers. Everyone is very clever about using their powers to trap or trick the bad-guys.)

That's a really good point... I have a vague feeling that it was maybe the Fox X-Men that really set up the modern narrative structure for kids-and-fans superhero cartoons, where you have usually single episodes nudging along an arc, and at least a couple of fight scenes an episode...
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:13 PM on March 1, 2014

Guardians of the Galaxy: GoT's Jason Momoa turned down Drax role

Here's what he's doing now: Q&A: Jason Momoa Follows ‘The Red Road’ - The ‘Game of Thrones’ star talks about playing a Native American ex-con on SundanceTV’s new series
posted by homunculus at 6:17 PM on March 2, 2014

Watch a kick-ass four-minute fight scene from Captain America 2
posted by homunculus at 4:37 PM on March 6, 2014

they are trying to kill me
posted by The Whelk at 4:56 PM on March 6, 2014

Ze leapair!
posted by jason_steakums at 5:37 PM on March 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

"Secure the engine room, then find me a date."

"I'm multitasking!"

It's like they're writing Natasha just for MetaFilter now.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 6:10 AM on March 7, 2014 [3 favorites]

If there is an ask.me about a co-worker who has gotten pregnant at an inconvenient time, throwing a major project into disarray I demand the right to unmask "Old Man Whedon".

But I will need a Great Dane and three plucky friends. And an ascot.
posted by Mezentian at 4:00 AM on March 9, 2014

Also, they have cast a Welsh actor as Constantine. And, well, apparently our need for superheroes is so strong now that we need a reboot of Heroes.

David S. Goyer Talks 'Constantine' TV Pilot
posted by homunculus at 7:32 PM on March 10, 2014

In other preview news: BBC America’s Orphan Black Sneak Peeks Had A Secret Binary Message
posted by homunculus at 7:35 PM on March 10, 2014

'Guardians Of The Galaxy': Karen Gillan Teases The 'Big Girlie Fight Sequence'
posted by homunculus at 11:45 PM on March 10, 2014

Orphan Black has nothing to do with GotG, but it's pretty damn amazing.
Tatiana Maslany should have had all the oscars by now. ALL OF THEM.
posted by Mezentian at 7:24 AM on March 11, 2014

All The Avengers 2 Awesomeness From Tonight's Marvel Special
posted by homunculus at 8:57 PM on March 18, 2014

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