Get your game on! Sex and Sports

July 4, 2014 8:30 AM

Abstinence is not a new tactic when it comes to sports competitions. Ancient Greeks restricted sex ahead of major events and some athletes still do it today. But does sex really affect athletic performance? Judging by the current World Cup, a strict sex ban doesn’t help to win. “All the teams known to have banned that kind of scoring in Brazil have been knocked out.” Specific sex rules seem to have less negative impact. In today’s quarter finals, France vs. Germany and Brazil vs. Colombia, different guidelines come into play.

In sports psychology the importance of aggression, alertness, anxiety, and an attitude toward competition are emphasized. Some athletes believe that abstaining from sex builds up testosterone and aggression. Other common concerns about pre-game sex include that athletes could be tired and weak or psychologically affected. For one of the world’s most watched sports event, the World Cup, the coaches have different sex rules:

Germany’s squad can get jiggy, but not the night before the match and for the players of the French squad all night long sex is banned. For Brazil, acrobatic sex is out of the question during the entire tournament. The only unknown in terms of sex policy is Colombia, the eighth squad still vying for the US$35 million prize money.

So what about scientific evidence one way or the other?

Emmanuele A. Jannini, professor of endocrinology at the University of L'Aquila in Italy, has found that sex in fact stimulates the production of testosterone, thus boosting aggression.

A study published in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism found that “testosterone improves leg power. Power is required in quick, explosive movements.”

In 2000 Sztajzel, Periat, Marti, Krall, & Rutishauser demonstrated “that sexual activity had no detrimental influence on the maximal workload achieved and on the athletes' mental concentration.” They also found that “the recovery capacity of an athlete could be affected if he had sexual intercourse approximately 2 hours before a competition event.”

While “optimal sleep is likely beneficial in reaching peak athletic performance” (sprinting faster, reacting quicker and shooting more accurate) sounds like a no-brainer, sleeping with someone could in fact decrease sleep time. But by how much? Well, if we believe Canadian and American sex therapists, normative intercourse lasts between 3 to 13 minutes. And burns not more calories than walking up two flights of stairs.

posted by travelwithcats (963 comments total)

bless this post

bless its cow
posted by elizardbits at 8:34 AM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Dude. That's a work of art!

Again, on a plane to MCO. Will probably miss kickoff but should see the second game, unless I can get a streaming audio miracle.

Try not to giggle too much at SCHWIENSTIEGER!
posted by eriko at 8:39 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Schweinsteiger!
posted by wensink at 8:39 AM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

travelwithcats: Judging by the current World Cup, a strict sex ban doesn’t help to win.

Duh. Extra weight.
posted by gman at 8:40 AM on July 4, 2014

I'm looking forward to WWII references.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:41 AM on July 4, 2014

JIT!!
posted by marienbad at 8:42 AM on July 4, 2014

for the players of the French squad all night long sex is banned. For Brazil, acrobatic sex is out

...and the Americans decide to ban all-night acrobatic sex with more than two partners?

I think that's the psyops trend anyway.
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:42 AM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Allez, les MeFi Bleus!
posted by wensink at 8:46 AM on July 4, 2014

I think that's the psyops trend anyway.

Just the tip.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:47 AM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

reposting from other thread as I still need an answer!!

Mark Lawrenson's predictions for the QFs

(what's the keyboard shortcut to insert a link please?)
posted by marienbad at 8:49 AM on July 4, 2014

FRA-GER woo! GER have to play a lot better than last time or they will be FRAGEn themselves why they got disqualified.

This might be the worst pun ever.
posted by ersatz at 8:52 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

So what are anyones predictions for tonight, who do you want to win? Heart: France and Colombia, head: Germany and Brazil.

I know Germany haven't been brilliant, but I know the Germans - they can always grind out a win, and if it starts going wrong for the French for pretty much the first time in the whole of this World Cup, well....
posted by marienbad at 8:54 AM on July 4, 2014

In WWII, the Schweinsteiger was a light battle tank produced by the Volkswagen company. During the Blitzkrieg, it moved rapidly through Belgium and the Low Countries. Its speed, combined with the accuracy of its main gun, made it a major player on the Western Front. After Normandy and the introduction of the superior US Sherman, the Schweinsteiger fell into disfavor with the German High Command. It is fondly remembered as the "Bastian of German strength."
posted by SPrintF at 8:55 AM on July 4, 2014

I'm hoping for France and Brazil - moments of brilliance over dogged determination.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:55 AM on July 4, 2014

Oh, all athletes are menz?

No tips for the lady-hormone competitors?
posted by Dreidl at 8:57 AM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm rooting for Colombia and Germany. I overheard a little girl making predictions for today, she said Germany's gonna win 7-0. I believe her.
posted by travelwithcats at 8:57 AM on July 4, 2014

Yeah, I know the thread is about the *men's* soccer World Cup. But the studies are not.
posted by Dreidl at 8:58 AM on July 4, 2014

I'm hoping for France as well; I can't root for either Colombia or Brazil over the other, so I'll just hope for good football.
posted by languagehat at 8:58 AM on July 4, 2014

(I'm also hoping someone puts the first game away in the first half hour, because after that I'm going to watch my grandson play baseball.)
posted by languagehat at 8:59 AM on July 4, 2014

Dreidl, I found some evidence that pre-game orgasms are beneficial for female athletes because they increase testosterone and pain tolerance.

Btw: Most of those studies had male study subjects.
posted by travelwithcats at 9:00 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Apparently seven German plays have developed flu like symptoms. Insiders suspect they were intentionally infected with some disease supposedly.
posted by jeffburdges at 9:00 AM on July 4, 2014

New rule, the players can have sex before a match but only with each other.
posted by The Whelk at 9:00 AM on July 4, 2014 [4 favorites]

BBC announcers are complaining about all the photo-op poses that FIFA is requiring between the national anthems and the starting whistle.
posted by ardgedee at 9:01 AM on July 4, 2014

Pogba will never win the World Cup of arm crossing.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:03 AM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

His arm crossing goes to extra time.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:05 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Go football!
posted by shothotbot at 9:07 AM on July 4, 2014

Too easy for the Germans right now, they are playing around and thru the French
posted by marienbad at 9:07 AM on July 4, 2014

jeffburdges: Apparently seven German plays have developed flu like symptoms. Insiders suspect they were intentionally infected with some disease supposedly.

Football buffet law #1: avoid the lasagne.
posted by hangashore at 9:08 AM on July 4, 2014

I'm foolishly hoping France will win because Colombia will have an easier time beating them than they will Germany.

my dog wants france to win because she is a frenchie
posted by elizardbits at 9:09 AM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

New rule, the players can have sex before a match but only with each other.

i will personally fund the necessary exhaustive research studies to make this happen
posted by elizardbits at 9:10 AM on July 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

BenzemaLips.gif, plz
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:11 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Factoid: The temperature on the field is currently around 30°C (86°F).
posted by ardgedee at 9:11 AM on July 4, 2014

This is looking like the end for France, Germany are way better right now.
posted by marienbad at 9:13 AM on July 4, 2014

This is gonna be good.
And, uh, I'll RTFA in like 35 mins or so, ok?
posted by From Bklyn at 9:13 AM on July 4, 2014

Ah, could have taken the shot.
posted by ersatz at 9:14 AM on July 4, 2014

Oh boy.
posted by From Bklyn at 9:15 AM on July 4, 2014

Welp.
posted by minsies at 9:15 AM on July 4, 2014

Shiiiiit.
posted by marienbad at 9:15 AM on July 4, 2014

Scheisse.
posted by ersatz at 9:15 AM on July 4, 2014

How many free kicks from that area have resulted in shots and goals this WC?
posted by marienbad at 9:15 AM on July 4, 2014

maginot line joke
posted by elizardbits at 9:16 AM on July 4, 2014 [4 favorites]

It is like the Germans have got the French psyched out already.
posted by marienbad at 9:16 AM on July 4, 2014

GOAL!
posted by travelwithcats at 9:16 AM on July 4, 2014

Merde alors.
posted by languagehat at 9:16 AM on July 4, 2014

That was a lame two-person French wall. I expect much better from a country historically skilled at building badass walls.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:19 AM on July 4, 2014

The French are going to lose, aren't they? I want France to win so bad as they have played lots of pretty football!
posted by marienbad at 9:20 AM on July 4, 2014

Well, on the upside: It's not going to be 0-0 until the ninetieth minute.
posted by travelwithcats at 9:21 AM on July 4, 2014

Germany is playing a strikingly different defensive game
posted by From Bklyn at 9:22 AM on July 4, 2014

/was totally trying to work out how 'could've taken the shot' and 'maginot line joke' were football sex puns for a bit there
posted by Quilford at 9:23 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Doesn't anyone have anything substantive to add? I'm actually kind of curious about the effects of abstinence on performance in various endeavors, given its long history of being used to boost creativity and intensity.

Of course monks in many religions believe abstinence clears the mind and intensifies its power.
Freud gave up sex after 40 because he thought it would aid his writing.
Balzac would masturbate furiously but stop before climax -- and then start writing.
Tons of philosophers were reputedly celibate during key periods of their life (e.g. Kant).

I don't know about athletes or warriors, but surely there must be some kind of interesting effect going on here, even if it is only in people's perceptions of themselves.
posted by shivohum at 9:25 AM on July 4, 2014

> /was totally trying to work out how 'could've taken the shot' and 'maginot line joke' were football sex puns for a bit there

Don't get entrenched. The barbs will come. Fire off whatever comes to mind and don't muck about, and you won't feel mired. And something something Christmas truce football game. Thanks, enjoy the veal and remember to tip your waitress!
posted by ardgedee at 9:26 AM on July 4, 2014

We have a Slow Lloris pileup in the box.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:28 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Germany is playing a strikingly different defensive game

That's the Matts Hummels effect. He's their best defender and his absence in the Bundesliga did a number on his team, BVB Dortmund.
posted by ersatz at 9:29 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, Lahm is back at RB, all is right with the world.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:30 AM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Hey, guys, I'm in the air over Indiana and listening to the BBC!

Magic!

You know who else went through France in 12 minutes?

What are we calling the goalies? I can't see them.
posted by eriko at 9:33 AM on July 4, 2014

*grumble grumble french housemates*
posted by infini at 9:33 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Tons of philosophers were reputedly celibate during key periods of their life (e.g. Kant).

Right, but that's because lots of philosophers were loony tunes. Kant attached a string from his pocket watch to his socks to keep them pulled up. Kant took walks with such regularity that the women of Konigsberg would set their clocks by him. Kant made a personal resolution to never sweat, and would stand very still in the shade until the urge passed.
posted by leotrotsky at 9:33 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Is World Cup and a kintsugi project the least 4th of July ever?
posted by shothotbot at 9:34 AM on July 4, 2014

That was a lame two-person French wall. I expect much better from a country historically skilled at building badass walls.

If they'd gone bigger, Germany would've gone around and somehow gotten Belgium and the Netherlands involved in this game too.
posted by nubs at 9:34 AM on July 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

orange JULIUS and lime RICKEY?
posted by wensink at 9:35 AM on July 4, 2014

France's goalie is in a kind of hazard orange outfit and Germany's goalie... shit, I'm not sure it's going to matter this match. He might as well do some charity work for kids while he's waiting.
posted by ardgedee at 9:35 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thomas Muller's Howls of Outrage is my new band name.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:36 AM on July 4, 2014

Le Cheese and Der Lime?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:36 AM on July 4, 2014

You must be kidding me.
posted by ersatz at 9:36 AM on July 4, 2014

Or a German Tyler Perry film.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:36 AM on July 4, 2014

Ah. Germany's in a combination of lime and avacado green.

I suggest Nacho Cheese and Guacamole.
posted by ardgedee at 9:37 AM on July 4, 2014

Cheese is perfect for Lloris.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:37 AM on July 4, 2014

Schweinstiger is so much less exciting on the beeb.
posted by eriko at 9:37 AM on July 4, 2014

Mueller is called 'Radio Mueller' familiarly. Cause he's a fucking motor mouth. In a charming way.
posted by From Bklyn at 9:40 AM on July 4, 2014

Right, it's Free Yellow Card day - they're wiped out after the quarters.
posted by eriko at 9:41 AM on July 4, 2014

Fun fact: Lahm = lame.
posted by travelwithcats at 9:41 AM on July 4, 2014

Radio Mueller's Howls of Outrage.
Is my point...
posted by From Bklyn at 9:41 AM on July 4, 2014

Hey it's Combover Ref!
posted by needled at 9:45 AM on July 4, 2014

France doesn't sound dead yet.
posted by eriko at 9:46 AM on July 4, 2014

I can't look at the grass stains on the German jerseys without thinking of Tide commercials from the 80s.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:46 AM on July 4, 2014

In an exciting development, ESPN has just showed an actual match statistic. Will wonders never cease?
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:46 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Multiball!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:48 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

France have come back into it but its almost half time...
posted by marienbad at 9:48 AM on July 4, 2014

I am drinking a basil seed and longan drink full of jelly cubes and it's several different kinds of slimy things plus crunch. As it came from a Vietnamese place, I suppose it's mildly related to France?
posted by needled at 9:48 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Soccer stat question: Does FIFA track the "completion" rate for long kicks from the goalie? Seems like such a missed opportunity to possess the ball when certain goalies insist on going for the long ball.
posted by wensink at 9:49 AM on July 4, 2014

Peep PEEP! Halftime.
posted by eriko at 9:50 AM on July 4, 2014

Mildly is putting it uh, mildly, needled..
posted by marienbad at 9:51 AM on July 4, 2014

> France doesn't sound dead yet.

Yeah, they rallied in the last 10-15 minutes and the game's been more balanced.

Still, Germany seems to want this more than France does.
posted by ardgedee at 9:53 AM on July 4, 2014

So what are everybody's half-time snacks?
posted by needled at 9:53 AM on July 4, 2014

wensink, yes sort-of [pdf], but I cannot find this info for each game, as I think that's how its organised.
posted by marienbad at 9:53 AM on July 4, 2014

I had warm nuts. I love flying in first.
posted by eriko at 9:54 AM on July 4, 2014

Cheese plate with olives and pate.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:55 AM on July 4, 2014

I'm hoping marienbad has a pint with a side of a pint.
posted by eriko at 9:56 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh hey, Globo just showed us the empty parked Brazilian team bus - important news! And now a group of people in lederhosen cheering for Germany!

And all of the Brazilian ads today, whether Itau or Nestle, have kids in them.
posted by needled at 9:56 AM on July 4, 2014

wensink: "Soccer stat question: Does FIFA track the "completion" rate for long kicks from the goalie? Seems like such a missed opportunity to possess the ball when certain goalies insist on going for the long ball."

Take a look at whoscored.com. Under individual player stats, if you pick out a goalie (e.g., here is Tim Howard) there is a percentage shown for Pass Success.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:57 AM on July 4, 2014

Grapes.
posted by ersatz at 9:57 AM on July 4, 2014

Thanks, marienbad. Am I alone in thinking the long bomb goalie kick is silly?
posted by wensink at 9:58 AM on July 4, 2014

the only French curse word you'll ever need... heck the only French word you need
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:01 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

wensink: Check out this Zonal Marking article on that subject. There's a graph at end that plots the correlation between GK short passes and possession in the Premier League.
posted by Dr. Zira at 10:01 AM on July 4, 2014

It depends on the team - if you have good headers of the ball or tall guys in midfield who can win the ball from a long goal kick its cool. Also, useful to practice so if your one nil down with 5 mins to go, everyone gets forward and the keeper launches it long.
posted by marienbad at 10:01 AM on July 4, 2014

Merci, Dr. Zira!
posted by wensink at 10:05 AM on July 4, 2014

Totally deserved booking on Khedira, there.
posted by ardgedee at 10:15 AM on July 4, 2014

Calculated, a technical foul don't know if he had too though.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:16 AM on July 4, 2014

Yeah. I doubt Griezmann will be staying with Sociedad after this summer.
posted by ersatz at 10:17 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

My magic has died.
posted by eriko at 10:23 AM on July 4, 2014

Have new magic. How's the 2nd half been?
posted by eriko at 10:26 AM on July 4, 2014

Kroos can be fantastic, but sometimes his choices are downright boneheaded.
posted by ersatz at 10:28 AM on July 4, 2014

This is why Germany will win. In the meantime the game is exciting like watching a boa constrictor kill.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:29 AM on July 4, 2014

So far the game's not boring but it doesn't have me hanging on every moment either. Just sturdy gameplay without much flash or brilliance.
posted by ardgedee at 10:31 AM on July 4, 2014

Not so magic I think.
posted by shothotbot at 10:31 AM on July 4, 2014

Not super exciting, alas.
posted by elizardbits at 10:35 AM on July 4, 2014

wait for it
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:38 AM on July 4, 2014

Sounds like Guacamole has gotten busy!
posted by eriko at 10:39 AM on July 4, 2014

Yeah, I think the game is gonna start soon.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:40 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

France has ten minutes to prove how much they care.
posted by ardgedee at 10:40 AM on July 4, 2014

any time now France
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:47 AM on July 4, 2014

Twitching, twitching...
posted by From Bklyn at 10:49 AM on July 4, 2014

Yawn. This is a boring game to listen to, that's for sure.
posted by eriko at 10:50 AM on July 4, 2014

I haven't seen this many horrified Frenchmen since my last viewing of Eyes Without A Face.
posted by Dr. Zira at 10:51 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Anybody. Anybody but Germany. Or Brazil.
posted by wensink at 10:52 AM on July 4, 2014

Currently Germany is giving France more opportunities with the ball than France is making on their own.
posted by ardgedee at 10:53 AM on July 4, 2014

This is really just a clever ploy to make sure we save our energy for the Brazil-Columbia match.
posted by Dr. Zira at 10:54 AM on July 4, 2014

Ah, Benzema...
posted by ersatz at 10:54 AM on July 4, 2014

Is Neuer's right arm made of steel? What a stop.
posted by wensink at 10:55 AM on July 4, 2014

See you all back for the main course!
posted by travelwithcats at 10:57 AM on July 4, 2014

Les Blue it.
posted by eriko at 10:58 AM on July 4, 2014

I think Benzema is world class. Unfortunately, Germany has a team full of players who are made a little bit less impressive, but only a little. And there's most of a team of them.

So is it going to be Brazil v. Germany? Or does Columbia have a chance?
posted by From Bklyn at 10:59 AM on July 4, 2014

merde!
posted by marienbad at 11:01 AM on July 4, 2014

Colombia totally has a chance. Brazil hasn't exactly been lighting up the world lately.
posted by asterix at 11:02 AM on July 4, 2014

The refs in the Brazilian games on the other hand...
posted by marienbad at 11:04 AM on July 4, 2014

Battue par l'Allemagne, la France quitte le mondial.
posted by rongorongo at 11:04 AM on July 4, 2014

Weak 2nd half from France. Shame it didn't work out for them, but the Germans can grind out a win when they need one - they are like a machine.
posted by marienbad at 11:05 AM on July 4, 2014

Colombia has a chance.

They beat My Uruguay last weekend, but Uruguay has just been a flat out hot mess for the majority of their matches. (THEY. BIT. SOMEONE.)

It was telling that, at the bar I watched it at, there were a zillion fans there for the COL-URU match, and there were only 3 of us for Uruguay. And I was the only one wearing a La Celeste shirt. But, all ended well.
posted by spinifex23 at 11:06 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

I heard a segment about sex and the World Cup on NPR the other day but it seems to have disappeared. Anyhow, one of the coaches made the point that it wasn't sex per se that hurt performance the next day so much as all the late night carousing that often goes along with finding a partner. Which makes sense to me.
posted by TedW at 11:06 AM on July 4, 2014

so anyway time for the annual viewing of national treasure brb
posted by elizardbits at 11:12 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

To get back to the topic, sex before or after the game is OK, I think. But sex during the half-time break should be a no-no.
posted by sour cream at 11:24 AM on July 4, 2014

But sex on the pitch? During the match? OK! I'm sure there's Suarez-Chiellini slash out there already.
posted by spinifex23 at 11:30 AM on July 4, 2014

So come on Colombia, we need someone playing sexy football in the semi.
posted by marienbad at 11:30 AM on July 4, 2014

that is the only kind james rodriguez plays don't worry
posted by elizardbits at 11:32 AM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Germany dives almost as badly as the Dutch.

Concacaf thunder!
posted by persona au gratin at 11:50 AM on July 4, 2014

Algeria to Donate U.S.$9 Million World Cup Prize Money to People of Gaza

go Al Jazeera!
posted by infini at 11:52 AM on July 4, 2014

Now watch Belgium beat Argentina, and the 2 teams I liked and one that I tipped will be out. Damn and blast if that happens!
posted by marienbad at 12:00 PM on July 4, 2014

New rule, the players can have sex before a match but only with each other.

But no handballs.
posted by srboisvert at 12:01 PM on July 4, 2014

From sacred to profane: the World Cup, the only sporting event in which I actively root for America (unless we're talking Olympic hockey), to Nathan's hot dog eating contest, the sporting event that makes me feel shame over being American.
posted by wensink at 12:05 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Silva making anti-discrimination speech!
posted by marienbad at 12:54 PM on July 4, 2014

> Now watch Belgium beat Argentina

You hush your mouth.
posted by languagehat at 12:56 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh noes, my Univision is no longer workings! Or at least it's asking me for TV information but I use Charter so no good?
posted by lizarrd at 12:57 PM on July 4, 2014

lizarrd, someone mentioned http://atdhe.sx/ in an older thread. Maybe you can find a stream there.
posted by travelwithcats at 1:00 PM on July 4, 2014

Maicon in! whoa.
posted by marienbad at 1:01 PM on July 4, 2014

here it comes....
posted by marienbad at 1:02 PM on July 4, 2014

Seems a little loud in the arena. Can't imagine why. Also why are the stands so yellow?
posted by ardgedee at 1:07 PM on July 4, 2014

It feels kinda odd to be rooting against Brazil, especially after all their awesome teams in the 80s and 90s and in the far past.
posted by marienbad at 1:07 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

lizarrd, someone mentioned http://atdhe.sx/ in an older thread.

Yes, but I would advise accessing atdhe.net via a laptop you don't care about. (I've always presumed the site is filled with tons of malware.)
posted by wensink at 1:07 PM on July 4, 2014

That was actually rather moving when they cut off the instrumental accompaniment for the Brazilian national anthem and one heard the entire stadium singing it.
posted by needled at 1:08 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh my, it is even a little louder now.
posted by ardgedee at 1:09 PM on July 4, 2014

Oh man, twice in one fucking day!

So so easy too. What was Sanchez doing?
posted by marienbad at 1:09 PM on July 4, 2014

Nice defense. Way to mark everyone!
posted by eriko at 1:10 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

The defender slept there.
posted by ersatz at 1:10 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

That is one of the sloppiest goals ever. The entire defense just stood still. Ridiculous.
posted by Errant at 1:11 PM on July 4, 2014

wasted free kick. ffs colombia
posted by marienbad at 1:12 PM on July 4, 2014

And Columbia launches into space!
posted by eriko at 1:12 PM on July 4, 2014

almost, and better.
posted by marienbad at 1:12 PM on July 4, 2014

Cuadrado dude, I've been bigging you up all world cup, and you can't even take a corner!
posted by marienbad at 1:13 PM on July 4, 2014

Goalll.... and its not even begun (the game I mean)
posted by infini at 1:15 PM on July 4, 2014

That was a little...crotch grabby.
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:16 PM on July 4, 2014

Only a dozen minutes along and this is already everything Germany/France wasn't. Even if it's not shaping up as a really great game yet.
posted by ardgedee at 1:16 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Is this football or hockey?
posted by eriko at 1:16 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

And it goes for a corner! unlucky Colombia
posted by marienbad at 1:18 PM on July 4, 2014

Cuadrado Cuadrado Cuadrao, wtf!
posted by marienbad at 1:19 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

This is looking to be a long and ugly day for Columbia if they don't calm down.
posted by eriko at 1:20 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Brazil are all over Colombia, they just can't get started.
posted by marienbad at 1:20 PM on July 4, 2014

Yeah, so far this is definitely Brazil's show.
posted by languagehat at 1:21 PM on July 4, 2014

Ospina excellent double save, but the pressure continues.
posted by marienbad at 1:22 PM on July 4, 2014

I just noticed Argentinian Pekerman is coaching the Colombian side. I got the impression a number of the Latin American sides had Argentinian coaches in this World Cup. Hmmm, maybe Korea should consider getting an Argentinian coach for the 2018 squad ...
posted by needled at 1:22 PM on July 4, 2014

> This is looking to be a long and ugly day for Columbia if they don't calm down.

Their back line is playing like USA's, expecting the goalie to do their work for them.
posted by ardgedee at 1:23 PM on July 4, 2014

Maybe get in the box then colombia
posted by marienbad at 1:23 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Colombia? Where are my dancing men? I mean WHAT IS GOING ON!?
posted by lizarrd at 1:23 PM on July 4, 2014

Cuadrado again fucks up.
posted by marienbad at 1:24 PM on July 4, 2014

I wish they didn't show the crowd shots in the stadium so we could get a look at the fans without them smiling and waving at the JumboTron.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:24 PM on July 4, 2014

Oh Cuadrado
posted by Pink Frost at 1:24 PM on July 4, 2014

Colombia needs to score or Brazil will walk all over them.
posted by Pendragon at 1:24 PM on July 4, 2014

Brazil ate their Wheaties. Their sexy, sexy Wheaties.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:24 PM on July 4, 2014

As has been often remarked, it took two Argentines (Bielsa and Sampaoli) to give Chile their footballing identity. Now Pekerman and Colombia. They do seem to have a knack for it.
posted by Errant at 1:26 PM on July 4, 2014

everybody gettin agitated
posted by elizardbits at 1:26 PM on July 4, 2014

Did the ref leave his cards at home?
posted by eriko at 1:27 PM on July 4, 2014

It is turning, as eriko said, into Hockey! Fractious!

What formation are Colombia playing as it isn't working - what will Peckerman do?
posted by marienbad at 1:27 PM on July 4, 2014

I'm really torn on this one--Brazil is normally one of the teams I always root for, but Columbia (and particularly James Rodriguez) have been so much fun to watch and I kind of think that the flood of tears from Brazils players would overwhelm the sad footballers tumblr (hilarious, for those who haven't visited). I do wonder if Brazil might be too pumped up to sustain this energy for 90+... Or maybe that's wishful thinking. Man, it's so much easier when I clearly hate a team (like France)!
posted by TwoStride at 1:27 PM on July 4, 2014

Is this football or hockey?

Is this the World Cup quarterfinal or a Saturday afternoon pickup game?
posted by wensink at 1:27 PM on July 4, 2014

Ref has lost control. Next up, Neymar driving down the pitch in a dune buggy.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:28 PM on July 4, 2014 [4 favorites]

All the stepovers and he confused himself, but redeemed himself with the pass!
posted by marienbad at 1:29 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

That's the most emotion I've ever seen Brazil's coach express.
posted by ardgedee at 1:29 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Wow. Nice job by...charcoal on those two shots
posted by eriko at 1:30 PM on July 4, 2014

Hulk's been playing smashingly today, unlike his previous two-three games.
posted by ardgedee at 1:30 PM on July 4, 2014

I would favourite your comment, TwoStride, but I liked France - apart from today!
posted by marienbad at 1:30 PM on July 4, 2014

Hulk was pretty much the man of the match against Chile too, at least during open play.
posted by Errant at 1:32 PM on July 4, 2014

wow this is ace
posted by marienbad at 1:33 PM on July 4, 2014

That should have been a red card!
posted by Pendragon at 1:33 PM on July 4, 2014

This game should be rated "CA" for "Comic Arm Mischief".
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:34 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Brazil's goalie is in grey flannel pajamas, while Colombia's is sport jacket blue.
posted by ardgedee at 1:34 PM on July 4, 2014

Ah, marienbad, sorry--France is one of the few that are always on my "root against" list!
posted by TwoStride at 1:35 PM on July 4, 2014

great ball from Neymar
posted by marienbad at 1:36 PM on July 4, 2014

Neymar's Shirt of Rage!
posted by needled at 1:37 PM on July 4, 2014

come the fuck on free kiiick
posted by elizardbits at 1:37 PM on July 4, 2014

It was. Shame it didn't work.

Ref found his whistle.
posted by eriko at 1:38 PM on July 4, 2014

good place for a free kick, although Colombia don't deserve a goal to be honest
posted by marienbad at 1:38 PM on July 4, 2014

Cuadrado hates shaving cream!
posted by eriko at 1:39 PM on July 4, 2014

This ref is awful.
posted by TwoStride at 1:40 PM on July 4, 2014

This ref sucks. Seriously.
posted by eriko at 1:40 PM on July 4, 2014

Where can I place a bet that a punch will be thrown or head butted this game?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:40 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

i liked that call from the ref which appears to have been "don't touch his boobs bro"
posted by elizardbits at 1:41 PM on July 4, 2014

Wheels are off this game already for Mr. Ref.
posted by wensink at 1:41 PM on July 4, 2014

HULK er, something.

Silva looks like he stopped ageing but continued growing when he was 15.
posted by marienbad at 1:42 PM on July 4, 2014

Is Neymar a .... vampire ?
posted by Pendragon at 1:42 PM on July 4, 2014

Another poor touch from Hulk.
posted by marienbad at 1:43 PM on July 4, 2014

he hasn't been bit by suarez yet, no
posted by elizardbits at 1:43 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, slow motion Neymar rage face is frightening.
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:43 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

The Echoing Scorn of Ian Darke is either a 7th level Magic User spell or a Culture picket ship.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:45 PM on July 4, 2014 [5 favorites]

Close.
posted by eriko at 1:46 PM on July 4, 2014

I can't believe how easily Brazil are overloading in attack and then getting back to press the ball. This is impressive stuff from them, aided by Colombia's midfield staying in the dressing room.
posted by Errant at 1:46 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

neymar bites shirt in rage, vampirism looking ever more likely
posted by elizardbits at 1:46 PM on July 4, 2014

This game is kind of entertaining but I honestly don't feel I'm going to miss much by leaving for dinner out during halftime.
posted by languagehat at 1:46 PM on July 4, 2014

ouch
posted by marienbad at 1:47 PM on July 4, 2014

The Echoing Scorn of Ian Darke is the next film by Wes Anderson.
posted by eriko at 1:47 PM on July 4, 2014

The Colombian manager just looked to the heavens, cursed, and then charlie brown walked down the line.
posted by tofu_crouton at 1:47 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

> I do wonder if Brazil might be too pumped up to sustain this energy for 90+

https://youtube.com/watch?v=tPiC-kC0f7Q

This is what the Seleção has to deal with - that's a TV ad from Sadia, a major Brazilian food company, that's been running during World Cup games. Kids declaring they are 7, 10, 8 years old and have never seen Brazil win a championship, I wasn't even in my mom's tummy, my daddy already saw three title wins, etc., so you guys have to win one for us, okay? Of course that Brazil has already won five World Cup titles has to be mentioned (rubbed in?) at the end.

Lose this, you'll make all these cute little kids cry, you'll dash their hopes of seeing Brazil win a World Cup title for the first time in their lives, you heartless monsters!

"Hexacampeão" - six-time champions - is a recurring theme in TV ads.

I can't imagine playing under that kind of pressure.
posted by needled at 1:47 PM on July 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yeah, I don't see Colombia winning this.
posted by Pendragon at 1:47 PM on July 4, 2014

Now that should have been a red. What a hideous challenge.
posted by Errant at 1:48 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Impressive intimidation campaign being waged by Brazil against James.
posted by wensink at 1:49 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

time for agitated halftime cheese eating
posted by elizardbits at 1:50 PM on July 4, 2014

Pekerman's a silver fox.
posted by needled at 1:51 PM on July 4, 2014

@elizardbits Happy birthday?
posted by wensink at 1:53 PM on July 4, 2014

Yeah, but Scolari is a balding, chubby fox who has out-thought him.
posted by marienbad at 1:53 PM on July 4, 2014

*crunches loudly on the potato crisps like an automaton*
posted by infini at 1:55 PM on July 4, 2014

Happy Birthday to Miss American Pie?


/runs. faster than a speeding goalie
posted by infini at 1:57 PM on July 4, 2014

So jealous of y'all, this is the first game I've been able to watch live so I've had to avoid all these threads until now because spoilers.

Also timezones mean its early morning so I can't eat cheese or potato crisps right?
posted by Pink Frost at 1:58 PM on July 4, 2014

It's always happy hour somewhere, Pink Frost.
posted by ardgedee at 2:00 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

And Neymar walks off with his shirt off. What with the shirt-biting, he has some kind of relationship with his shirt. I imagine it's rather like Kill La Kill's Ryuko's relationship with Senketsu, her sentient superpowered school uniform.
posted by needled at 2:00 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

> Also timezones mean its early morning so I can't eat cheese or potato crisps right?

I understand the words, but I don't understand the sentence.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:01 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, he should be careful with his shirts. Where in Brazil would he find another #10 shirt with his name on it?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:02 PM on July 4, 2014 [7 favorites]

It has quietened down a bit now, Pink Frost, but welcome and enjoy, and join in as much as possible!
posted by marienbad at 2:02 PM on July 4, 2014

That's exactly the sort of response I was hoping for [and now let's see how many Football Manager quotes I can shoe-horn into this thread]. [on preview, meant for benito, but the others work too]
posted by Pink Frost at 2:03 PM on July 4, 2014

> Where in Brazil would he find another #10 shirt with his name on it?

The gift shops?
posted by ardgedee at 2:04 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Hey, Pink Frost, welcome to the match!
posted by eriko at 2:04 PM on July 4, 2014

ITV: Brazilian president's popularity rises with each Brazil victory!
posted by marienbad at 2:05 PM on July 4, 2014

Here we go!
posted by eriko at 2:05 PM on July 4, 2014

*sneaks aquavit over to Pink Frost*
posted by infini at 2:06 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

fernandinho way overdue a card
posted by marienbad at 2:07 PM on July 4, 2014

I hope the ref found his cards during half time.
posted by Pendragon at 2:07 PM on July 4, 2014

Infini, you either really like or hate Pink Frost!
posted by eriko at 2:07 PM on July 4, 2014

Ref seems to be pro Brazil.
posted by shothotbot at 2:08 PM on July 4, 2014

Ref bribed?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:09 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Surprised Hulk didn't get away with that, considering what Ferdinandinho has been able to.
posted by ardgedee at 2:09 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

(someone should check to see if his family is okay)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:10 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Infini, you either really like or hate Pink Frost!

I understand time zones.
posted by infini at 2:10 PM on July 4, 2014

The ref is pro Brazil? That would be a first!
posted by marienbad at 2:10 PM on July 4, 2014

I had to Google Aquavit. Sounds like I'd enjoy it. Thanks infini :)

Ref probably having a hard time not being affected by the home crowd, at the least, I'd think.
posted by Pink Frost at 2:11 PM on July 4, 2014

I don't get why Columbia are going for crosses against Silva and Luiz. Keep the ball down, there's time.
posted by ersatz at 2:11 PM on July 4, 2014

Fred to run onto this and score?
posted by marienbad at 2:11 PM on July 4, 2014

I hope Colombia gets to encroach as much as Brazil did.
posted by TwoStride at 2:11 PM on July 4, 2014

I'm pretty sure "cuadrado" means "squared", so I'm thinking of "Juan Cuadrado" as Spanish for Jon*Jon.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:11 PM on July 4, 2014

I just want to let you know Hulk is pronounced "Hool-kee"
posted by needled at 2:11 PM on July 4, 2014

Clearly I have taken leave of my senses making comments like that. Fred? Should just get Romario out of retirement, he would still be better then Fred.
posted by marienbad at 2:13 PM on July 4, 2014

Fred's mustache, on the other hand....
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:14 PM on July 4, 2014

Better dead than Fred.
posted by wensink at 2:14 PM on July 4, 2014

im full of cheese and very agitated
posted by elizardbits at 2:17 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

You stole the title of my memoir!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:17 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

I think Silva is actually hurt.
posted by eriko at 2:18 PM on July 4, 2014

Ha, even Fred's stepover fucked up. And no card for Silva? surprise surprise.
posted by marienbad at 2:18 PM on July 4, 2014

awful volley, deserved a goal but poor pass out wide.
posted by marienbad at 2:18 PM on July 4, 2014

"You're full of cheese" might be the nice thing I say to my three year old when he attempts to deceive me.
posted by shothotbot at 2:19 PM on July 4, 2014

Columbia just can't get the handle on this.
posted by eriko at 2:20 PM on July 4, 2014

You know the only card of the game will be for something totally innocuous on Columbia.
posted by shothotbot at 2:20 PM on July 4, 2014

Cuadrado does indeed mean squared, and jesus, did the ref forget he can give out yellow cards?
posted by lizarrd at 2:20 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Brazil shaking a bit here; for Colombia, Ramos has made the difference, and they are almost playing a back 3
posted by marienbad at 2:20 PM on July 4, 2014

This game must be going for the record for fouls this world cup.
posted by marienbad at 2:21 PM on July 4, 2014

Clear foul. Let's see if Columbia can do anything with this.
posted by eriko at 2:22 PM on July 4, 2014

What fouls? The ref isn't seeing any, and he ought to know, right?
posted by ardgedee at 2:22 PM on July 4, 2014

And, no.
posted by eriko at 2:22 PM on July 4, 2014

Neymar ran into him!
posted by marienbad at 2:22 PM on July 4, 2014

Stats are apparently Brazil: 24 fouls; Columbia: 16. Not a single card. Ugh.
posted by TwoStride at 2:23 PM on July 4, 2014

OMG CARD!!!!
posted by eriko at 2:23 PM on July 4, 2014

Hurray!! A Card!
posted by marienbad at 2:24 PM on July 4, 2014

FIRST YELLOW!!
posted by Pendragon at 2:24 PM on July 4, 2014

Oh hey, finally!
posted by TwoStride at 2:24 PM on July 4, 2014

Silva booked. And gets a firm kick the back of the thighs for a souvenir.
posted by ardgedee at 2:24 PM on July 4, 2014

The commentators are saying Silva is out for the next game, but I thought someone said cards were cancelled after this?
posted by marienbad at 2:24 PM on July 4, 2014

Finally a card - and Thiago to miss the next match. Big blow.
posted by Pink Frost at 2:25 PM on July 4, 2014

Lingering yellows are, bans are not. (I think.)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:25 PM on July 4, 2014

Cards are wiped after the quarterfinals, so that no one can miss the final for a yellow in the semifinal.

There have been some utterly pointless fouls in this game.
posted by Errant at 2:26 PM on July 4, 2014

Oh ffs. Why not mail the cup to Brasil.
posted by ersatz at 2:26 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

bs offside descion
posted by marienbad at 2:27 PM on July 4, 2014

I don't think we will finish this game with 22 players.
posted by Pendragon at 2:27 PM on July 4, 2014

How's that a card. Ref is full of suck!
posted by eriko at 2:27 PM on July 4, 2014

also bs card for james
posted by marienbad at 2:27 PM on July 4, 2014

Well, dammit.
posted by TwoStride at 2:28 PM on July 4, 2014

oh well
posted by elizardbits at 2:28 PM on July 4, 2014

OMFG where did Luiz get that from?
posted by marienbad at 2:28 PM on July 4, 2014

Well, that's a nail in the coffin.
posted by eriko at 2:28 PM on July 4, 2014

Well, shit.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:28 PM on July 4, 2014

So what have we learned? If you're Brazilian, you literally have to tackle the goalie while he's delivering the ball in order to collect a booking. If you're Colombian, you have to fall over.
posted by ardgedee at 2:29 PM on July 4, 2014 [6 favorites]

wat
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:29 PM on July 4, 2014

Wow. Amazing shot.
posted by eriko at 2:29 PM on July 4, 2014

Crap. It had to be Sideshow Bob, too, didn't it?

marienbad: I think the linesman blew for a foul? I don't know...
posted by Pink Frost at 2:29 PM on July 4, 2014

Come on then Peckerman, time to be brave.
posted by marienbad at 2:29 PM on July 4, 2014

I knew James Rodriguez has a powerful aura; I didn't know it was apparently strong enough for someone to trip on, though.
posted by Ed The Sock at 2:29 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Game over. Two centerbacks, two goals, good night.
posted by Errant at 2:29 PM on July 4, 2014

Horribly officiated game. Gotta think the ref was paid off.
posted by leslies at 2:30 PM on July 4, 2014

I love it when Macca uses his incredulous sportscaster voice. It sounds like he's going through puberty.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:30 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Just shoot!!
posted by marienbad at 2:31 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

There is no way in hell the refs weren't paid off with a BS offsides, BS yellow to James, and almost no yellows until now.
posted by lizarrd at 2:31 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Macca? Steve Macmanaman?
posted by marienbad at 2:32 PM on July 4, 2014

ITV's announcers have decided to drop their differences with the referee to lavish praise on an apparently flawless Brazil side.

And another Colombian - I thought it was Ramos, Guardian blogger says Yepes - collects a yellow. I didn't even see him do anything, the announcers say it was for dissent. Which, yeah, I'd probably be guilty of that by now.
posted by ardgedee at 2:32 PM on July 4, 2014

Commentator - Brazil are finding a way - yeah, we know.
posted by marienbad at 2:32 PM on July 4, 2014

Of course. You think FIFA are going to let Brazil miss the semifinals if they can help it?
posted by Errant at 2:33 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yeah, Macca is partnering with Ian Darke on the ESPN coverage.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:33 PM on July 4, 2014

It's unwatchable - Colombia has been hung out to dry by FIFA or whoever paid the ref.
posted by leslies at 2:34 PM on July 4, 2014

That's resembles less o jogo bonito and more a game the way Hobbes would describe it: 'nasty, brutish and (cut) short.'
posted by ersatz at 2:35 PM on July 4, 2014

Ian Darke urges Colombia to use cocaine.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:35 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

You know what I wish. I wish we could all be in the same bar for the final.
posted by eriko at 2:36 PM on July 4, 2014 [4 favorites]

oh yeah!
posted by Dumsnill at 2:37 PM on July 4, 2014

Penalty!
posted by Pendragon at 2:37 PM on July 4, 2014

Cesar carded!
posted by ardgedee at 2:37 PM on July 4, 2014

Holy Shit - penalty to Colombia!
posted by marienbad at 2:37 PM on July 4, 2014

holy moly - a penalty for Colombia!
posted by leslies at 2:37 PM on July 4, 2014

Cesar time-wasting.
posted by marienbad at 2:38 PM on July 4, 2014

Gotta make it look close.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:38 PM on July 4, 2014

This game just got weird. Weirder, I mean.
posted by ardgedee at 2:38 PM on July 4, 2014

Get the fuck on with it!
posted by marienbad at 2:39 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

So deserved!
posted by Dumsnill at 2:39 PM on July 4, 2014

wooooo
posted by elizardbits at 2:39 PM on July 4, 2014

J - ROD SETS A RECORD!
posted by ardgedee at 2:39 PM on July 4, 2014

Neymar's revving up his dune buggy.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:39 PM on July 4, 2014

Goooooooooaaaaaallll!!!
posted by eriko at 2:39 PM on July 4, 2014

Yeeeessss!!! Come on Colombia - shock Brazil out of this!!!
posted by marienbad at 2:39 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Aw yeah, James!
posted by TwoStride at 2:39 PM on July 4, 2014

Vamos Colombia!
posted by Pink Frost at 2:39 PM on July 4, 2014

Be advised that the area around my flat is currently rated R.
posted by ersatz at 2:40 PM on July 4, 2014

dog overexcited by free kick, is now slobbering on my ear in an unacceptable fashion
posted by elizardbits at 2:40 PM on July 4, 2014

Heartbreaking shot!
posted by ardgedee at 2:41 PM on July 4, 2014

whoooo nearly, Didn't look much offside.
posted by marienbad at 2:41 PM on July 4, 2014

My head bet on Brazil but my heart is dying for Colombia. Go go go.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:42 PM on July 4, 2014

Why didn't Peckerman take off Cuadrado earlier and bring on Quintero? Cuadrado has not been up to his usual standard.
posted by marienbad at 2:42 PM on July 4, 2014

HULK SUBBED!!!
posted by eriko at 2:42 PM on July 4, 2014

Action shot of Julio Cesar tending his goal.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:43 PM on July 4, 2014

Well, Colombia, if you had played like this from the start...
posted by marienbad at 2:45 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

espn: "there are bodies everywhere"

lol
posted by elizardbits at 2:46 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

FFS Colombia, you haven't got time to give away fouls and free kicks.
posted by marienbad at 2:47 PM on July 4, 2014

We'll know the fix is in when the ref only gives 1' of extra time after all this.
posted by TwoStride at 2:47 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

It puts the Neymar in the basket or else it gets the hose again.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:48 PM on July 4, 2014

Brazil shutting up shop?
posted by marienbad at 2:48 PM on July 4, 2014

TwoStride, I was just writing the same thing.
posted by Errant at 2:49 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

The officiating's been awful.

Some time ago it seemed Colombia decided to a man that if the bookings are going to be arbitrary and their team's not advancing, they may as well do whatever they want.
posted by ardgedee at 2:50 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

5 minutes, hm
posted by elizardbits at 2:50 PM on July 4, 2014

The ref is reading metafilter.
posted by Dumsnill at 2:50 PM on July 4, 2014

5 more minutes
posted by ardgedee at 2:50 PM on July 4, 2014

5 mins!
posted by marienbad at 2:50 PM on July 4, 2014

the Brazilian commentators have been complaining about the ref because he's not letting a football game happen and is instead making strange calls on both sides ruining the flow of the game.
posted by needled at 2:50 PM on July 4, 2014

where is this terrible ref from btw, don't make me search the thread
posted by elizardbits at 2:51 PM on July 4, 2014

I'll tell you what, even 5 minutes is pretty light.
posted by Errant at 2:51 PM on July 4, 2014

South Wrongistan.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:51 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

The ref is awful, but all this talk about bribes is ridiculous.
posted by Pendragon at 2:52 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

ITV: James needs to get up and go looking for the free kick. Yeah right, Fernandinho would pretty much have to stab James to get a card.
posted by marienbad at 2:52 PM on July 4, 2014

Are the Brazilian shirts extra delicious or something?
posted by ardgedee at 2:52 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

The ref is from Spain.
posted by Errant at 2:53 PM on July 4, 2014

They must taste like bananas.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:53 PM on July 4, 2014

It will be a travesty if Fred wins a World Cup winners medal, and James goes home empty handed.
posted by marienbad at 2:54 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

If we're not gonna get it, none of our previous colonies is gonna get it?
posted by lizarrd at 2:54 PM on July 4, 2014

Goddamnit.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:54 PM on July 4, 2014

Pendragon is in on it!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:54 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Sigh.
posted by eriko at 2:54 PM on July 4, 2014

im upset
posted by elizardbits at 2:55 PM on July 4, 2014

Double goddamnit.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:55 PM on July 4, 2014

Its over - Brazil are through!
posted by marienbad at 2:55 PM on July 4, 2014

Peep peep PEEP. Fuck!
posted by eriko at 2:55 PM on July 4, 2014

Oh well. Brazil was not terribly convincing today.
posted by Dumsnill at 2:55 PM on July 4, 2014

Final score: Brazil 2, officials 2, Colombia 1.
posted by ardgedee at 2:56 PM on July 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

The tears of James cure cancer.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:56 PM on July 4, 2014

That game was super disappointing because of the shambolic ref. I'd like to see Brazil earn this without a sense of benefitting a ton from the officiating.
posted by TwoStride at 2:56 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Dammit! Both France and Colombia are out. It is going to be Brazil Holland in the damn final, I just know it.
posted by marienbad at 2:56 PM on July 4, 2014

I really like the part where they all cuddle afterwards though.
posted by elizardbits at 2:56 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

sometimes they cuddle shirtless and this is also delightful
posted by elizardbits at 2:57 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Sorry MartinWisse.
posted by marienbad at 2:57 PM on July 4, 2014

This was more Officials 3, Brazil 2, Colombia 1 (and the face of a heartbroken James, how could you do that Brazil!?)
posted by lizarrd at 2:58 PM on July 4, 2014

David Luiz gesturing to the crowd to applaud James Rodriguez, and then talking to him after. That's a really nice moment, respect.
posted by Errant at 2:58 PM on July 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

So yeah there's no reasonable chance of Costa Rica beating Holland tomorrow is there

sob
posted by elizardbits at 2:58 PM on July 4, 2014

If it's Brazil and Holland in the final, I'm rooting for the meteor.
posted by eriko at 2:58 PM on July 4, 2014 [5 favorites]

needled, you're in Brazil? What's the noise level around you?
posted by benito.strauss at 2:59 PM on July 4, 2014

If it's Brazil and Holland in the final, it's going to be 90+ minutes of interpretive dance.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:00 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm not in Brazil, just watching Brazilian TV.
posted by needled at 3:00 PM on July 4, 2014

Go Meteor FC!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:00 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

I dunno Costa Rica might benefit from some ok refereeing. Don't even know though. I'd like to see how the officiating goes for Germany. It'll be hard to bring 'em down with just bad refereeing.
posted by lizarrd at 3:01 PM on July 4, 2014

I'm sorta kinda hoping/looking forward to Brazil choking in the final, just like 1950. I generally like Brazil but I'm not much fussed by this team at all.

OTOH, before the cup started I picked Brazil - Germany and Argentina - Spain as the semis, with Brazil beating Argentina in the final, so I could get pretty close to that.
posted by Pink Frost at 3:01 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

You guys are really writing off Argentina and Messi just like this? Fools. All of you. FOOLS.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:03 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

I feel bad for Pekerman. He always loses to the host country's team, Germany in 2006 and now Brazil. I hope he wins a World Cup one day.
posted by needled at 3:03 PM on July 4, 2014

Ha, I'm not. Costa Rica are going to get slaughtered.
posted by Errant at 3:04 PM on July 4, 2014

That David Luiz pic on the BBC sure is something.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:04 PM on July 4, 2014

Yeah I'd like to see Argentina beat Brazil in the final, but I can't see them beating Belgium, let alone Holland.

ITV: 54 fouls - a record for this tournament!
posted by marienbad at 3:05 PM on July 4, 2014

predictions for tomorrow's games anyone?
posted by marienbad at 3:08 PM on July 4, 2014

> That David Luiz pic on the BBC sure is something.

What, this? I've seen it before.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:09 PM on July 4, 2014

> predictions for tomorrow's games anyone?

The host country isn't playing, so it could be anybody's guess.
posted by ardgedee at 3:09 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Robocop, what about the F365 pic?

Gotta be Argentina and Holland tomorrow, though I think the Belgians will give them a good game.
posted by Pink Frost at 3:10 PM on July 4, 2014

It's upsetting that there were so many bad ref decisions. So many fouls, so few consequences.
posted by travelwithcats at 3:11 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

sweet jesus it's fire marshall bill
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:12 PM on July 4, 2014

From one of the related posts at the bottom of this page, Dos a Cero:

"I'm going to call it now for posterity, and hopefully won't have to eat my words. This may make me look silly next year, but fuck it:

The US is going to make the semifinals in 2014."
posted by marienbad at 3:17 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, 3 of the 5 related posts are my posts!
posted by marienbad at 3:18 PM on July 4, 2014

Has FIFA ever seriously considered implementing some sort of protocol for in-game instant replay? Or adding a second referee? When opponents are supposed to be at least ten yards away from the ball during a free kick and they (Neymar) blatantly ignore the rule, it embarrasses not only the officials but the game itself.
posted by wensink at 3:19 PM on July 4, 2014

No. In the UEFA champions league (European Cup) they have 2 extra linesmen behind each goal. to help out at corners. I think the 2 refs, one in each half idea has been tried somewhere (in fact, I'm sure it was mentioned in one of the WC posts to the blue) poss Australia but I can't remember or be certain.

It wasn't video replay that was needed, just a proper ref!
posted by marienbad at 3:27 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

See you tomorrow for the next set of QFs.
posted by marienbad at 3:28 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Seriously. I hate this "it's a big game, don't card." If they do something worthy of a card, card them.

The Netherlands should have been playing a man down for 60 minutes in the last final. But Webb wouldn't pull a red card, and the match ended up a farce.

Don't want to get red carded? Don't commit the foul.
posted by eriko at 3:31 PM on July 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

That was a travesty. An absolute travesty.
posted by winna at 3:39 PM on July 4, 2014

I hope Neymar is as bad as he looks, he has spent most of the world cup pretending to have been hurt and I can't work up any sympathy for him now. Brazil's play had been depressing throughout and I find myself hoping for anyone but them. Cracking free kick goal from Sideshow Bob but apart from that they have been uninspiring.
posted by biffa at 4:09 PM on July 4, 2014

Rumours from Brazil : Neymar has a fractured vertebrae and is out for weeks.
posted by fullerine at 4:47 PM on July 4, 2014

No longer rumours
posted by fullerine at 4:52 PM on July 4, 2014

Belated red card or what?
posted by travelwithcats at 4:56 PM on July 4, 2014

> No longer rumours

Holy shit.

I wasn't looking at the screen when that play happened, only returned when Neymar was being hauled off in the carrier. There's no justification for what Zuniga did. At the same time, I wonder whether Colombia were getting more aggressive with their play over frustration due to the inconsistency of the officiating.
posted by ardgedee at 5:01 PM on July 4, 2014

There were so many aggressive scenes, it was really not nice to watch. Also the Brazilian goalie deliberately smashed into one Colombian player, not only taking his chance to score but risking hurting him.
posted by travelwithcats at 5:09 PM on July 4, 2014

I knew Neymar was hurt went he went down and didn't move.

FIFA needs better medics, because the guys who put him on the stretcher had no idea how to put a guy with a back injury on a stretcher.

Yeah, Neymar's a diver. Which is why refs need to watch videos of him pretending to be hurt, and him actually hurt. Then they'll get the medics out fast when they are hurt, and card the fakes.
posted by eriko at 5:15 PM on July 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh, by the way, somebody made this.
posted by eriko at 5:16 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

FIFA needs better medics, because the guys who put him on the stretcher had no idea how to put a guy with a back injury on a stretcher.

No kidding. He's got a fractured vertebra.
posted by asterix at 5:25 PM on July 4, 2014

Ian Ayre walks into the meeting room and adjusts his Liverpool tie. "You got this, Ian. You got this."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:01 PM on July 4, 2014

Lionel Mess Is Impossible.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 7:46 PM on July 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

On the German broadcast the announcer opened his post-game comments with three minutes of lambasting the refs and calling them irresponsible and negligent and other multicompound words meaning in essence, 'what the fuck was that?'
I'm not a Neymar fan but that isn't right and the fault lies with the ref for not controlling the play.
Also I'm totally curious for Brazil v Germany. I think without Silva and Neymar they have an advantage, player to player, it's how Germany will respond tactically that I'm looking forward to.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:17 PM on July 4, 2014

Damn, just read about Neymar.

Oh well, might as well give it to the Germans now, as they are clearly going to make the final, and win it anyway. Totally gutting for any English, French, Spanish or Italians that the fucking Germans will most likely win it. You can just feel it - and its not like they are any good or anything, this isn't Germany 86 say. OTOH, they have (I think) the highest number of passes made (2500) so in a way it clearly is working as a team for them.

Torn with Neymar - I don't like seeing players injured, but he cheats and kicks and falls his way round the pitch, between flashes of good play, so it is almost schadenfreudian.
posted by marienbad at 12:09 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Then again, Brazil have good players in the squad, Wiliian and Bernard are pretty decent, probably work well against the Germans too. I think Scolari has been (somewhat rightfully) scared to change things this world cup, and has hardly changed the team over the course of the tournament. He has made a few subs in the 2nd half, but usually when they were ahead, so I wonder what he will do now.
posted by marienbad at 12:36 AM on July 5, 2014

Now imagine Belgium beats Argentina (however unlikely) and then goes up against Netherlands in the half, Netherlands of course win and go on to face Germany! World Cup of the flood plain! Or the Rein-ish World Cup! Or... There's something snappy to be had there.

Back in reality, Brazil-Ger is going to be interesting.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:37 AM on July 5, 2014

A ridiculous match like this was always going to be the end result of FIFA's bizarre no bookings at all ever policy at this world cup. 54 fouls!
posted by dng at 3:48 AM on July 5, 2014

Good morning, football fans around the world!

QUARTER-FINALS: Matches 3 and 4

First up is ARGENTINA - BELGIUM at 12 pm EST.

Followed by NETHERLANDS - COSTA RICA at 4 pm EST.

To circle back to the topic of the FPP, here a brief rundown of what is known about sex rules for the remaining four:

The policies for Argentina are unknown. For the Belgian squad - who kicked the USA out of the World Cup – sex was banned during the first three weeks. That dry spell ended two days ago.
The players from the Netherlands faced no restrictions and Costa Rica was disallowed to have sexual relations throughout the group stage.
posted by travelwithcats at 4:13 AM on July 5, 2014

Neymar is now being reported as available for the Germany match
posted by fullerine at 5:51 AM on July 5, 2014

I hereby move that all references to the German squad be in the form of "Das Fuckinggermans."
posted by eriko at 5:54 AM on July 5, 2014

I get to watch both matches today!

The kids at our 4th of July party yesterday spent most of their time playing soccer. It was Argentina v the U.S.
posted by Area Man at 5:59 AM on July 5, 2014

Did it get messy?
posted by biffa at 6:47 AM on July 5, 2014

Nothing too physical, but the U.S. won after my son made himself both a striker and the ref. He decided a foul had been committed on him in the penalty box, called for a penalty kick, and took the kick scoring on his sister. The kid may have a future in the U.S. foreign policy establishment.
posted by Area Man at 7:11 AM on July 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

From today's Guardian World Cup blog (2:55PM entry): "Fifa's has confirmed that it will look into the challenge from Colombia's Juan Zuniga that ended Neymar's World Cup." Which is about as weakly as FIFA could possibly put it, but at least it's something. I wouldn't mind if Zuniga was facing a suspension at least as severe as Suarez's.
posted by ardgedee at 7:29 AM on July 5, 2014

It's absurd if he does get banned though, just because it's a high profile player getting injured, especially considering some of the disgusting challenges that have gone largely unpunished already (Matuidi breaking Onazi's leg, for example, or pretty much every single tackle Honduras made against France).
posted by dng at 7:42 AM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

On a happier note, check out this public viewing venue in Berlin. They call it the "living room".
posted by travelwithcats at 8:04 AM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

and its not like they are any good or anything, this isn't Germany 86

I get that you don't like Germany, but the team with Klose, Mueller, Schweinsteiger aren't any good?! I think that's just wishful thinking, sorry.
posted by misha at 8:31 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

misha, it is more that they have not set the tournament alight. They have just sorta ground their way through, the game against the USA was poor and against Ghana they didn't look amazing, certainly not finalist quality. All the players individually are excellent, but the team hasn't been amazing. The only games they looked good were against 10 man Portugal and an insipid and uninterested France.
posted by marienbad at 8:36 AM on July 5, 2014

Who would you rather watch, Colombia or Germany?
posted by marienbad at 8:38 AM on July 5, 2014

and its not like they are any good or anything, this isn't Germany 86

Quatsch! Verrückt! Schweinsteiger!
posted by wensink at 8:38 AM on July 5, 2014

Do you all just like saying Schweinsteiger or something, or is there a joke I am missing here?
posted by marienbad at 8:42 AM on July 5, 2014

Sorry, but Adrian Chiles on ITV is just way way too annoying to watch. Will leave it minimised until 2 mins before kick off. (I was going to put the time in then realised you're all in different time zones!)
posted by marienbad at 8:44 AM on July 5, 2014

With all of this talk of "Messi Dependence" it's a wonder ESPN isn't sending Argentina to a 12-step program.
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:48 AM on July 5, 2014

If FIFA are going to look into anything, they should look into what instructions the referee was given such that Zuniga had not already been sent off for his knee-high, studs-up challenge on Hulk, or how the referee completely lost control over the physicality of the match by not imposing discipline during what was clearly an emotional and committed encounter. But this is FIFA, and unless the ref is dumb enough to hand out three yellows to one player, he can do no wrong.
posted by Errant at 8:49 AM on July 5, 2014

> Sorry, but Adrian Chiles on ITV is just way way too annoying to watch.

I'll take him over the half-dozen minutes of mandatory pre-screening commercials ITV's online player inserts.
posted by ardgedee at 8:52 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Torn with Neymar - I don't like seeing players injured, but he cheats and kicks and falls his way round the pitch, between flashes of good play, so it is almost schadenfreudian.

I will never understand the Anglophone disgust with diving/exaggeration. Everyone does it, and for good reason (unless you seriously want to argue that refs don't consistently miss fouls). Do I need to dig up that compilation of Gerrard dives?
posted by asterix at 8:52 AM on July 5, 2014

Do you all just like saying Schweinsteiger or something, or is there a joke I am missing here?

Ja und ja. I do like saying Schweinsteiger and it is a joke, though increasingly less funny. Entschuldigung.
posted by wensink at 8:54 AM on July 5, 2014

From The Guardian's live blog:

Sometimes it is not obvious what advantage journalists gain from being at a match as opposed to watching it on TV, but Ken Early wrote a really nice piece on Lionel Messi that offered an interesting view. It's a worth a read.

The first thing that strikes you is that, most of the time, he appears to be doing very little indeed. He loiters at an angle to the play. He drifts disinterestedly in the spaces between defenders. The only signs of alertness are those sharp, hawkish swivels of the head, as he stores a mental image of what's over his shoulder. Then he darts toward empty space—the logic of his movement only becoming apparent two passes later, when the ball arrives at his feet. The wonder is that somehow he exerts this gravitational pull on the play while seldom even breaking into a trot.
posted by wensink at 8:57 AM on July 5, 2014

I've said this before, but there's a difference between making the most of contact, pretending that there was contact when there wasn't, and pretending to be more injured than you are. I understand why players go down easily; I don't like it, but I get it. The other two are different and are far more objectionable.
posted by Errant at 8:57 AM on July 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

Belgium is starting four card-carrying players, Argentina is starting two. What that means, precisely, is beyond me. But it was kind of striking to see the two lineups side-by-side so heavily blotched with yellow. If this game is half as physical as Brazil/Colombia (and twice as well policed), expect ejections, I guess. Or early substitutions.
posted by ardgedee at 9:01 AM on July 5, 2014

Shoulda been 1 - 0
posted by marienbad at 9:03 AM on July 5, 2014

Oh hai guys.
posted by ersatz at 9:03 AM on July 5, 2014

Control, higiuan.
posted by marienbad at 9:03 AM on July 5, 2014

Goalie colors today? Argentina's is a dark grey, Belgium's is a dark lime green.
posted by ardgedee at 9:04 AM on July 5, 2014

> I will never understand the Anglophone disgust with diving/exaggeration.

I will never understand some people's lack of understanding. Like Errant, I understand going down easily and making the most of genuine fouls; I don't understand, except in the most cynical "winning is everything" sense, sheer fakery. If you think that's cool, why not buying refs or sticking a shiv into an opponent if you can get away with it? Also, why object to win-by-any-means in life (rich people illegally avoiding taxes, exploiting workers, etc.) if you think it's great in sports? Ah well, I'm just a dumb Yank and the game's on, so never mind.
posted by languagehat at 9:05 AM on July 5, 2014 [5 favorites]

Hi, ersatz. Who dou you think is going to win today's matches ?
posted by Pendragon at 9:05 AM on July 5, 2014

Disclaimer - I will get this out of the way now - yes, I am a Brit, yes, I am supporting Argentina this game! Expect plenty of cries when they fuck things up.
posted by marienbad at 9:05 AM on July 5, 2014

ITV's commentators suggest that the Brazilians in the stands are rooting for Belgium, purely in hopes of seeing Argentina lose. Okay.
posted by ardgedee at 9:05 AM on July 5, 2014

Hey, all. Turns out I'm going to miss the next match -- 1625 EDT early dinner reservations. I didn't make them, somebody just doesn't understand the World Cup.
posted by eriko at 9:05 AM on July 5, 2014

So far the ref seems more engaged with the match than the ref of Brazil/Colombia. That's a good sign.
posted by ardgedee at 9:06 AM on July 5, 2014

You don't have to make contact for there to be a foul. But how often do you see one called when there isn't? That's (part of) why players pretend there was contact when there wasn't.
posted by asterix at 9:07 AM on July 5, 2014

The Costa Rica game? Watch it on your phone ;)
posted by marienbad at 9:07 AM on July 5, 2014

NICE! GOOOOOAAAAALL!
posted by eriko at 9:08 AM on July 5, 2014

Well that didn't take long
posted by leslies at 9:08 AM on July 5, 2014

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss
posted by marienbad at 9:08 AM on July 5, 2014

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
posted by ardgedee at 9:08 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Phone is charging right now. ;)
posted by eriko at 9:08 AM on July 5, 2014

what is happen i just woke up argentinians are shrieking my dog is prancing

help
posted by elizardbits at 9:08 AM on July 5, 2014

As hockey taught us -- one-timers are vastly better than controlling and shooting. If you can one-time it into the goal, the goalie doesn't have a chance.
posted by eriko at 9:09 AM on July 5, 2014

Wow, that was exciting.
posted by Area Man at 9:09 AM on July 5, 2014

Hi, ersatz. Who dou you think is going to win today's matches ?

I was just typing "I think Belgium and Netherlands, Messi willing", ha.
posted by ersatz at 9:09 AM on July 5, 2014

Caught the entire Belgian side flat-footed. Did they assume Argentina was going to do what USA or the Asian teams do, which is stop a pass and position the ball before they shoot?
posted by ardgedee at 9:09 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm feeling a lot better right now!
posted by languagehat at 9:10 AM on July 5, 2014

Finally Argentina turn up to the World Cup!
posted by marienbad at 9:10 AM on July 5, 2014

Argentina is 34-2-4 when they score first in the WC. Damn. (w-l-t/d)
posted by eriko at 9:12 AM on July 5, 2014

Goalie colors today? Argentina's is a dark grey, Belgium's is a dark lime green.

Given that strike by Higuain, we could call Belgium's goalie Effed.
posted by wensink at 9:12 AM on July 5, 2014

Wasted shot.
posted by eriko at 9:13 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

The goal was wonderful, but Argentina isn't playing in top form. They're forcing too many passes, and losing them when the receiver can't control it.
posted by eriko at 9:14 AM on July 5, 2014

_______________________
|                     |
|                     |
|⚽️             🏃    |

Argentina 1-0 Belgium
posted by ardgedee at 9:14 AM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Goalies: Emerald and Onyx?
posted by eriko at 9:14 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

> They're forcing too many passes, and losing them when the receiver can't control it.

Yeah, this is what's worrying me. Ball control, pibes!
posted by languagehat at 9:15 AM on July 5, 2014

More jade than emerald, I think.
posted by ardgedee at 9:15 AM on July 5, 2014

what a poor corner.
posted by marienbad at 9:15 AM on July 5, 2014

WHAT WAS THAT BELGIUM?
posted by eriko at 9:15 AM on July 5, 2014

Should have given the advantage there, ref.
posted by eriko at 9:16 AM on July 5, 2014

Dammit.
posted by languagehat at 9:16 AM on July 5, 2014

Yeah, control ARG guys, ball control.
posted by marienbad at 9:16 AM on July 5, 2014

Belgium is playing a bit sloppy.
posted by Pendragon at 9:17 AM on July 5, 2014

Nice rescue there, Argentina.

I'm good with Jade.
posted by eriko at 9:17 AM on July 5, 2014

That's a much better try at the corner.
posted by eriko at 9:17 AM on July 5, 2014

Hella neckbeard on Onyx, there.
posted by ardgedee at 9:18 AM on July 5, 2014

Wait, the game is 3PM EDT? I can get the first half on a real TV, then. YAAAAY! *kermit arms*
posted by eriko at 9:18 AM on July 5, 2014

come on the obvious condiment names should be pepper and wasabi
posted by elizardbits at 9:19 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

eriko, I have no idea, I am in the UK!
posted by marienbad at 9:20 AM on July 5, 2014

> Wait, the game is 3PM EDT?

No, it's 4 PM EDT, like all the second games since the knockout rounds started.
posted by ardgedee at 9:20 AM on July 5, 2014

Although ball control seems to be a problem for both sides.
posted by languagehat at 9:20 AM on July 5, 2014

> pepper and wasabi

I approve.
posted by ardgedee at 9:20 AM on July 5, 2014

That's what I thought, except ABC/ESPN just said 3PM EDT.
posted by eriko at 9:21 AM on July 5, 2014

Wait, the game is 3PM EDT?

Google says 4.
posted by asterix at 9:21 AM on July 5, 2014

The commentator keeps saying that one of the Belgian players is actually from Tonga. He keeps saying "the Tongan coming up the side" and so on. Isn't it unfair for Belgium to get to play with a guy from another country? And why not call him by name?
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 9:22 AM on July 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

They probably start their pregame coverage at 3.
posted by ardgedee at 9:22 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Almost Magic!
posted by marienbad at 9:22 AM on July 5, 2014

> That's what I thought, except ABC/ESPN just said 3PM EDT.

I expect they meant that's when their pregame show begins.
posted by languagehat at 9:22 AM on July 5, 2014

They use their prematch coverage as the program's start time.
posted by Errant at 9:22 AM on July 5, 2014

Right pre-game. Darn. (folds kermit arms)
posted by eriko at 9:22 AM on July 5, 2014

What have they given Di Maria cos compared to the other day....
posted by marienbad at 9:23 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Homeboy Trouble, whether or not you're actually joking, that's hilarious.
posted by Errant at 9:23 AM on July 5, 2014

Pepper and Wasabi is pretty damn inspired.
posted by eriko at 9:23 AM on July 5, 2014

Belgium gets that run up the near side, and *nobody showed up.* Sheesh.
posted by eriko at 9:25 AM on July 5, 2014

The Ubiquitous Messi is my rap name.
posted by eriko at 9:25 AM on July 5, 2014

Homeboy, are you sure it isn't Congo, as I think Origi's dad is from there, and played for DRC.

What a save there!
posted by marienbad at 9:26 AM on July 5, 2014

Wow, that close to insta-death, but Messi couldn't quite get there. But kids, that's how you counter.
posted by eriko at 9:26 AM on July 5, 2014

Sweet through ball. Sweet.
posted by eriko at 9:28 AM on July 5, 2014

What a ball! Shoulda scored
posted by marienbad at 9:28 AM on July 5, 2014

I think they're talking about Jan Vertonghen, the Belgian fullback.
posted by Errant at 9:28 AM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

The Guardian (at 21 min.) quote "Karl Tilinius," by which I presume they mean Kári Tulinius, aka MeFi's Own Kattullus.
posted by languagehat at 9:29 AM on July 5, 2014

Can the magic spray save Di Maria?
posted by eriko at 9:29 AM on July 5, 2014

by which I presume they mean Kári Tulinius, aka MeFi's Own Kattullus

Yeah, he's a regular in the MBM reports.
posted by asterix at 9:29 AM on July 5, 2014

Commentator: Only 26 degrees here today.
posted by marienbad at 9:30 AM on July 5, 2014

> Yeah, he's a regular in the MBM reports.

I know, that's why I was surprised they screwed up his name.

Also, Guardian (28 min): "This is engrossing! Not many scoring chances so far but it's a taut, fast-paced contest ... " Can't argue with that!
posted by languagehat at 9:31 AM on July 5, 2014

Di maria is down again.
posted by marienbad at 9:32 AM on July 5, 2014

Di Maria heading off. Damn, he was having a great game.
posted by eriko at 9:32 AM on July 5, 2014

Oh Christ. This is not good.
posted by languagehat at 9:33 AM on July 5, 2014

Oh boy, Di Maria off. This changes everything.
posted by marienbad at 9:33 AM on July 5, 2014

I can't take another day of hurt ;)
posted by marienbad at 9:34 AM on July 5, 2014

I hope this doesn't mean Argentina has to lean even heavier on Messi, now.
posted by ardgedee at 9:34 AM on July 5, 2014

I'm afraid it does.
posted by languagehat at 9:35 AM on July 5, 2014

Hasn't every match lately been one early goal followed by an hour-or-more of inconsequential counter-attacking? It kind of feels like it.
posted by ardgedee at 9:37 AM on July 5, 2014

Ow. Ow. Ow.
posted by eriko at 9:37 AM on July 5, 2014

Just looks like a strain, hopefully not too serious.
posted by Errant at 9:37 AM on July 5, 2014

Come on ref.
posted by marienbad at 9:39 AM on July 5, 2014

Another six inches and that was a PK for Messi.
posted by eriko at 9:39 AM on July 5, 2014

What the fuck, Vertonghen?
posted by ardgedee at 9:39 AM on July 5, 2014

ardgedee - no that was just France Germany ;)
posted by marienbad at 9:39 AM on July 5, 2014

This ref can count 10 yards!
posted by eriko at 9:40 AM on July 5, 2014

Double spray line, wow!
posted by Pendragon at 9:40 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Shit. Another goal would have been nice there.
posted by languagehat at 9:41 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ah, if that ball was a meter lower, it would have been a clear shot into the net.
posted by ardgedee at 9:41 AM on July 5, 2014

Oh, wow. That was a killer header and it just missed.
posted by eriko at 9:42 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Whew!
posted by languagehat at 9:42 AM on July 5, 2014

nice play by Belgium, were was the marking from ARG there?
posted by marienbad at 9:42 AM on July 5, 2014

What is going on with corners recently? Do they ever practice them?
posted by marienbad at 9:43 AM on July 5, 2014

Unless its just confirmation bias, but there seems to have been a lot of poor ones.

Belgium not going down without a proper fight!
posted by marienbad at 9:44 AM on July 5, 2014

Messi is just something else. That ball was screaming at him and it stopped on his foot like it was glued there.
posted by eriko at 9:45 AM on July 5, 2014

> Messi is just something else. That ball was screaming at him and it stopped on his foot like it was glued there.

Yeah, my eyes keep drifting to him whatever's going on elsewhere.
posted by languagehat at 9:46 AM on July 5, 2014

Peep PEEP!
posted by eriko at 9:47 AM on July 5, 2014

> ardgedee - no that was just France Germany ;)

Brazil-Colombia: No goals between 7' and 69'
France-Germany: One goal at 13'

Where I'm wrong is in the games where there are no goals before 60':
Belgium-USA: First goal at 93'
Argentina-Switzerland: First goal at 118'
Germany-Algeria: First goal at 92'
France/Nigeria: First goal at 79'

The last match with less than 60' between first and second goal (or start of game and first goal) happened Tuesday, Costa Rica-Greece. And that only narrowly, with the first goal at 52'.

Not a meaningful statistic, just a pseudopattern.
posted by ardgedee at 9:50 AM on July 5, 2014

This is a tough one to call, it really could go either way. Finally Argentina face a team who want to play football against them. The only other team to have done this was Nigeria. An look what a great game it is.
posted by marienbad at 9:51 AM on July 5, 2014

ardgedee - it was more of a joke on the "followed by an hour-or-more of inconsequential counter-attacking" part of your comment, as France were pretty much inconsequential that day!
posted by marienbad at 9:53 AM on July 5, 2014

Argentina's getting better chances, and they've settled down somewhat -- the passing is much better. Belgium is still able to yank the ball away, but they have had, what, two good shots on goal (the rocket right at Pepper and the just-missed header.)

The corner kicks have ranged from meh to absolutely dire.

Di Maria hurt is a big problem for Argentina. Hopefully it's minor enough that he can be ready to go Wednesday if they advance.

I'm amazed at how may long balls have worked for Argentina.
posted by eriko at 9:56 AM on July 5, 2014

> as France were pretty much inconsequential that day!

Sure. But it prompted me to check all the same. It's something I'd been curious about.
posted by ardgedee at 9:56 AM on July 5, 2014

eriko - I am just seeing it differently as Argentina have not really turned up so far until today, and am very very nervous, so any time Belgium have the ball I'm sure they will score!
posted by marienbad at 10:01 AM on July 5, 2014

I think one factor is the weather -- 78F/26C is warm, but it's not the crushing heat we've seen in other matches, and the players are clearly moving better and faster.
posted by eriko at 10:04 AM on July 5, 2014

Felliani is a dirty fouler sometimes.
posted by marienbad at 10:09 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Short corner. MEH!
posted by eriko at 10:09 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Lovely, but not quite...
posted by marienbad at 10:10 AM on July 5, 2014

Man, that dribble of Messi!
posted by ersatz at 10:10 AM on July 5, 2014

The Argentines aren't really trying to come up -- they're getting the ball there, but there's only 3-4 of them. Very conservative.

And, Hazard gets a Safety Yellow Card.
posted by eriko at 10:11 AM on July 5, 2014

Hazard proves to be a hazard. Hah! I'll bet no football pundit has ever made that pun ever!
posted by ardgedee at 10:11 AM on July 5, 2014

Feillani seems lumbering and useless so far. And I hate his hair.
posted by TwoStride at 10:12 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

another Meh corner.
posted by marienbad at 10:12 AM on July 5, 2014

So close!
posted by eriko at 10:12 AM on July 5, 2014

Oh crossbar. How you vex.
posted by ardgedee at 10:13 AM on July 5, 2014

That would have been a beauty, Higuain!
posted by ersatz at 10:13 AM on July 5, 2014

wtf higiuin? shoulda scored. Should be about 3-0 now.
posted by marienbad at 10:13 AM on July 5, 2014

That could have been one awesome goal!
posted by Dumsnill at 10:13 AM on July 5, 2014

Sloppy pass there, and it looks like we're getting some new Belgians.
posted by eriko at 10:15 AM on July 5, 2014

You should get a corner after hitting the crossbar. Like a consolation prize.
posted by shothotbot at 10:16 AM on July 5, 2014

Here comes Lukaku and Mertens.
posted by marienbad at 10:17 AM on July 5, 2014

Kompany ought to have been booked for that stomping on Lavezzi.
posted by ardgedee at 10:18 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Fellaini almost tied this. Almost.
posted by eriko at 10:18 AM on July 5, 2014

Belgium seems to be playing this game as if Argentina were USA.
posted by ardgedee at 10:19 AM on July 5, 2014

I need to substitute a Belgian Ale into my belly.
posted by Dr. Zira at 10:19 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

As a neutral fan in this game, hoping for a Belgian equalizer and a Messi GWG in the 89th minute.
posted by wensink at 10:22 AM on July 5, 2014

Surely you mean an official WC2014 sponsor Budweiser(tm) light?
posted by marienbad at 10:22 AM on July 5, 2014

Oh God Garay!
posted by marienbad at 10:23 AM on July 5, 2014

> Surely you mean an official WC2014 sponsor Budweiser(tm) light?

It's AB-Inbev regardless, and the money goes into the same pockets.
posted by ardgedee at 10:23 AM on July 5, 2014

IN NO FUCKING WAY do they mean an official WC2014 sponsor Budweiser(tm) light.
posted by eriko at 10:23 AM on July 5, 2014

How many substitutions in European club play
posted by shothotbot at 10:24 AM on July 5, 2014

So its true, Belgium really do only turn up in the 2nd half!
posted by marienbad at 10:25 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

shothotbot - 3 - it is standard.
posted by marienbad at 10:25 AM on July 5, 2014

Instant card on that one.
posted by eriko at 10:26 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

(Seriously, you should see the list of beers owned by AB-Inbev. It will make the beer snob in you cry.)
posted by ardgedee at 10:27 AM on July 5, 2014

Lavezzi off? I thought he had done alright, but then again, fresh legs.
posted by marienbad at 10:28 AM on July 5, 2014

Lavezzi took a couple of hard knocks as well, so I can see why. And, as you said, fresh legs.
posted by eriko at 10:29 AM on July 5, 2014

Fresh, uninjured legs. He got stomped pretty hard a while back.
posted by ardgedee at 10:29 AM on July 5, 2014

Oh yeah, he got the leg scrape.
posted by marienbad at 10:31 AM on July 5, 2014

Wow, that's a stat. Shots on goal by Belgium. Against the USA: 26. Against Argentina: 1.
posted by eriko at 10:31 AM on July 5, 2014

Thaaaaaaaaaat was stupid, Biglia.
posted by ardgedee at 10:32 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Belgium's last sub. Hazard off, Chadli on.
posted by eriko at 10:33 AM on July 5, 2014

Wasted free kick,
posted by marienbad at 10:33 AM on July 5, 2014

Wow, what a horrible free kick. FAIL!
posted by eriko at 10:33 AM on July 5, 2014

Belgium's winning the possession battle, but they can't get the ball on goal.
posted by eriko at 10:35 AM on July 5, 2014

Can Argentina survive another 15 mins of this?
posted by marienbad at 10:35 AM on July 5, 2014

Yeah, I think so. It almost doesn't matter who holds the ball, because Argentina controls the tempo.
posted by ardgedee at 10:36 AM on July 5, 2014

If Argentina is only going to give them bad looks, and they're going to take them rather than work for a better shot, yeah, they can hold them.
posted by eriko at 10:38 AM on July 5, 2014

Last sub for Argentina, Higuain off, Gago on.
posted by eriko at 10:38 AM on July 5, 2014

4-4-2 for Argentina for the last 10 mins?
posted by marienbad at 10:39 AM on July 5, 2014

Gago's first touch was rather uninspiring.
posted by eriko at 10:39 AM on July 5, 2014

Guardian: "Belgium have the will, but not the way. No problem for Argentina to keep them at bay." From their mouths to God's ear.
posted by languagehat at 10:40 AM on July 5, 2014

Not that I would mind a tying goal by the end of regular time. I'll happily take another half hour of this sort of play over anything that went down yesterday.
posted by ardgedee at 10:40 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Not me. I want this done and dusted.
posted by languagehat at 10:41 AM on July 5, 2014

although I favourited your comment ardgedee, I would like Argentina to win in regulation time.
posted by marienbad at 10:41 AM on July 5, 2014

Oh sure. I've decided want the game to finish in Argentina's pocket. It's the route to that end I'm contemplating.
posted by ardgedee at 10:42 AM on July 5, 2014

Dealing with work crisis and missing game *sob*
posted by needled at 10:42 AM on July 5, 2014

Messi put a little too much on that. A softer touch and this is 2-0.
posted by eriko at 10:44 AM on July 5, 2014

unlucky, needled, this has been a really good one too.
posted by marienbad at 10:44 AM on July 5, 2014

should be okay, its a corner, but then again... finally a decent one!
posted by marienbad at 10:46 AM on July 5, 2014

Great time wasting by cesar!
posted by marienbad at 10:47 AM on July 5, 2014

oh god i almost cant watch!!!!
posted by marienbad at 10:47 AM on July 5, 2014

Five minutes of bonus fun.
posted by eriko at 10:48 AM on July 5, 2014

5 fucking minutes jesus!!!!
posted by marienbad at 10:48 AM on July 5, 2014

Five more minutes of sweating.
posted by languagehat at 10:48 AM on July 5, 2014

I missed a chunk of the game, but it seems like Argentina are pretty comfortable, but still low on threat except when Messi either has the ball or is creating opportunities for the rest of the team. Is that a reasonable surmise, more-context-having people?
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:49 AM on July 5, 2014

It was until about 10 minutes ago.
posted by marienbad at 10:50 AM on July 5, 2014

Shit!
posted by languagehat at 10:51 AM on July 5, 2014

Messi, Messi, that was your moment!
posted by eriko at 10:51 AM on July 5, 2014

Jesus, Messi!
posted by marienbad at 10:51 AM on July 5, 2014

Belgium's had more shots on goals in twelve seconds than they had in the previous 94 minutes.
posted by ardgedee at 10:52 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

PEEP PEEP PEEP!
posted by eriko at 10:53 AM on July 5, 2014

Almost there!!
posted by marienbad at 10:53 AM on July 5, 2014

Yeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by marienbad at 10:53 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's over! Argentina wins!!
posted by languagehat at 10:53 AM on July 5, 2014

And damn. Being the goalie with Messi charging down on you undefended must feel like being the bodyguard watching a man in the crowd pulling a handgun.
posted by ardgedee at 10:54 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Phew. That was a barnstorming finish...
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:54 AM on July 5, 2014

Congratulations, lh. Argentina played rather better compared to their last game.
posted by ersatz at 10:55 AM on July 5, 2014

40 minutes between scoring attempts for Belgium? Dayum. USA might've gotten crushed but would have been much more entertaining.
posted by TwoStride at 10:55 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

You guys are really writing off Argentina and Messi just like this? Fools. All of you. FOOLS.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gradually you'll become accustomed to my casual displays of omniscience.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 10:56 AM on July 5, 2014

Or was that 40 minutes that Argentina just sat on the ball? Commentators are unclear. Either way, poor showing, Belgium.
posted by TwoStride at 10:56 AM on July 5, 2014

> Congratulations, lh.

Thanks! My heart was in my mouth!
posted by languagehat at 10:56 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

If the Netherlands win, as I assume they will, it'll be two European and two South American nations in the semifinals. 'Twas ever thus.
posted by Errant at 10:57 AM on July 5, 2014

Also, it's so weird that at the moment Brazil and the Netherlands seem to be the more cynical and physical teams in the semis (or potentially in the semis, in the case of the Netherlands). How things have changed...
posted by running order squabble fest at 11:02 AM on July 5, 2014

> it'll be two European and two South American nations in the semifinals. 'Twas ever thus.

Not since 1978, but who's counting?
posted by languagehat at 11:03 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Right, gotta go feed my mates cats, see you all for Holland v Costa Rica.
posted by marienbad at 11:05 AM on July 5, 2014

i'm just going to continue pretending that costa rica is totally going to win as i enjoy this delusion very much
posted by elizardbits at 11:06 AM on July 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

All the players individually are excellent, but the team hasn't been amazing. The only games they (Germany) looked good were against 10 man Portugal and an insipid and uninterested France.

I wouldn't say France were uninterested with 9 vs 6 shots on goal. Bad at converting yes though. Löw's insistence of using CBs instead of FBs was bizarre, but with Lahm back in his natural position, they looked a lot better. I certainly hope they win against Brazil.
posted by ersatz at 11:07 AM on July 5, 2014

Stupid question, perhaps: are the ESPN studio guys actually in front of windows, or a green screen?
posted by TwoStride at 11:07 AM on July 5, 2014

I like to pretend they are in a toy blimp hovering above the stadium like the hamsters in the Puppy Bowl.
posted by elizardbits at 11:10 AM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

So, while we catch our breath before the last QF, out of interest what's everyone's goal of the tournament so far? I'm torn between Tim Cahill's volley and James Rodriguez's chest, turn and shot against Uruguay...
posted by running order squabble fest at 11:10 AM on July 5, 2014

Also I've just realized that with Holland playing next we will have the return of that one dutch commentator dude who has the hugest head on any human I have ever seen since Andre the Giant, and not German Matt Damon as I had assumed.
posted by elizardbits at 11:12 AM on July 5, 2014

I'd vote for James's goal against Uruguay, and Giovanni Dos Santos's against Netherlands.
posted by TwoStride at 11:15 AM on July 5, 2014

Oooh, Ruud van Nistelrooy. He drove me crazy when he kept interrupting Roberto Martinez to totally rationalize Robben's dive against Mexico...
posted by TwoStride at 11:16 AM on July 5, 2014

it'll be two European and two South American nations in the semifinals. 'Twas ever thus.

Not since 1978, but who's counting?

I guess I should have been slightly clearer in what I meant: it would be only Europeans or South Americans left in the tournament. I really want Costa Rica to do something special, but that's probably not going to happen.

Top 5 goals so far, in order:

1. Tim Cahill's volley.
2. James Rodriguez's chest-turn and volley (I'm torn between these two; Rodriguez showed two great pieces of skill, but that volley on the run is probably the hardest thing to pull off in soccer).
3. van Persie's header.
4. Jordan Ayew's equalizer versus US (outside of the left foot to inside the near post, fantastic strike)
5. Jermaine Jones versus Portugal. He never scores, like ever. Ridiculous.
posted by Errant at 11:23 AM on July 5, 2014

Goals. #1: The RvP header. #2. Tim Cahill's over the shoulder one timer. #3 James' "chest ball to foot, kick ball in goal' #4 Jermaine Jones' dribble across the top of the area and bend around the goalie.
posted by eriko at 11:23 AM on July 5, 2014

And I'll put the Ayew goal as #5. It didn't stick in my mind like the other four, but it was a brilliant ball. Not even SecDef Howard could stop that.
posted by eriko at 11:26 AM on July 5, 2014

Ha, well, at least we're agreeing on what the five best goals were. Ranking them is really meant to be done over the third or fourth beer, anyway, with increasingly heated opinions about unimportant details.
posted by Errant at 11:28 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

> I guess I should have been slightly clearer in what I meant: it would be only Europeans or South Americans left in the tournament.

Ah, gotcha. Sorry, my head is still aswirl! And yeah, even after all the great games van Persie's header is still the first thing that pops into my head. Lots of good ones, though.
posted by languagehat at 11:28 AM on July 5, 2014

Also, it's so weird that at the moment Brazil and the Netherlands seem to be the more cynical and physical teams in the semis (or potentially in the semis, in the case of the Netherlands). How things have changed...

Ever watched the '74 second-round group game between the two? (Most of it's on YouTube.) Jogo bonito's been dead a long, long time.
posted by asterix at 11:28 AM on July 5, 2014

I'm only going to get to see the first half of Netherlands-Costa Rica (we're going out to dinner), but I don't care so much about that one (though I'm pulling for CR). I look forward to reading the thread after my return.
posted by languagehat at 11:30 AM on July 5, 2014

Working on my pre-dinner beer now, so I'll be ready to argue order in about two hours. :-)
posted by eriko at 11:39 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

The reason I put the RvP header as #1. I was watching the first half of that game with a few people who don't know the game, and they were stunned by it. It basically created a half dozen more fans of the game.
posted by eriko at 11:44 AM on July 5, 2014

And in cycling news: Marcel Kittel, German, wins stage one of the Tour de France for the Dutch (Team Giant-Shimano).
posted by wensink at 11:49 AM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

This is football, not cycling; you want room 12A, next door.
posted by languagehat at 11:51 AM on July 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

@languagehat Figured it was relevant given the Dutch, German connection as well as Kittel's outspoken views on pre-race Tantric sex.
posted by wensink at 11:54 AM on July 5, 2014

I think German Matt Damon is having a day off pending his shipment of hair product.
posted by Dr. Zira at 11:58 AM on July 5, 2014

(I think it was a Python reference. The refs will allow it because it's paraphrase and allusion, not just mere repetition.)

(I.e. not just parroting)

(Goddamnit it's contagious.)
posted by benito.strauss at 11:58 AM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Figured it was relevant given the Dutch, German connection as well as Kittel's outspoken views on pre-race Tantric sex.

Pro or anti?
posted by running order squabble fest at 11:59 AM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

"SecDef Howard" lol.

So what do people think for the next game? Gameplans, scorelines, formations, anything you want to throw in... 5-3-2 for the Dutch and 4-2-4 for Costa Rica as they go on the rampage. And back in the real world....
posted by marienbad at 12:05 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I dunno, I'm thinking a 5-3-2 for Costa Rica. They've been running a great offside trap, so I hope they have continued success with that.
posted by Dr. Zira at 12:11 PM on July 5, 2014

Costa Rica will run forward heavy, at least at the start - some variation of a 3-3-4 or a 3-4-3.

Alas, as well as CONCACAF and the Ticos have done, I'm thinking 2-0 Netherlands.
posted by eriko at 12:22 PM on July 5, 2014

If I wasn't having dinner with many close friends, including some I don't see very often, I'd be watching this with you guys. Alas.

See you for the semi-finals!
posted by eriko at 12:37 PM on July 5, 2014

enjoy your dinner, eriko!
posted by marienbad at 12:41 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

In other sports related news, Athena Tennis Girl poster dress sells for £15k
posted by marienbad at 12:55 PM on July 5, 2014

Netherlands' goalie in bright green, Costa Rica's goalie in a light blue.
posted by ardgedee at 12:55 PM on July 5, 2014

Bruno Martins Indi actually smiled and looked like he was enjoying the arm folding bit
posted by marienbad at 12:59 PM on July 5, 2014

Right, now everybody has shaken hands with absolutely everybody else... we get more arm folding!
posted by marienbad at 1:00 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Danny Murphy CoCom on bbc. His disappointment with Mertens laast time out was palpable.
posted by marienbad at 1:03 PM on July 5, 2014

Lets go Costa Rica! Your offside trap is amazing.
posted by lizarrd at 1:08 PM on July 5, 2014

Keeping mr. needled company and so I'll be watching the game on some English language feed, not a Brazilian one.
posted by needled at 1:08 PM on July 5, 2014

From a corner to their own keeper? well done Holland
posted by marienbad at 1:09 PM on July 5, 2014

All the hair product in Bahia is in the Costa Rican team's hair.
posted by needled at 1:10 PM on July 5, 2014

It's ok the Spanish streams I find in adthde don't do it for me, so I'm watching ESPN instead. Damn you Univision for trying to force Comcast and others to adopt you as a sports station!
posted by lizarrd at 1:10 PM on July 5, 2014

very poor from the Costa Rica keeper - way too long
posted by marienbad at 1:11 PM on July 5, 2014

Jupiler being promoted very heavily around the field. Don't Costa Ricans drink beer?
posted by ardgedee at 1:11 PM on July 5, 2014

Costa Rican beer is ... not memorable.
posted by Tsuga at 1:12 PM on July 5, 2014

Like Jupiler, then?
posted by ardgedee at 1:14 PM on July 5, 2014

Blimey, this is all a bit slow, especially from the Dutch.
posted by marienbad at 1:15 PM on July 5, 2014

So the goalies are grass and sky colors, but that might be confusing.
posted by ardgedee at 1:16 PM on July 5, 2014

That was a terrible Dutch attack.
posted by ersatz at 1:17 PM on July 5, 2014

Nice attack Costa Rica, good running and pass from Campbell
posted by marienbad at 1:20 PM on July 5, 2014

I am thinking we should have gone to the other taco place for dinner, because then I could be drinking a plantain milkshake instead of this Super Big Gulp-size horchata. Because, plantains are kinda like bananas, and bananas are a major Costa Rican export. I don't know what I could be drinking or snacking on that would be suitably Dutch, though.
posted by needled at 1:21 PM on July 5, 2014

Amazing try by the Dutch, but the finishing not so much.
posted by ersatz at 1:22 PM on July 5, 2014

Navas! shoulda been 1-0.
posted by marienbad at 1:22 PM on July 5, 2014

Navas!
posted by TwoStride at 1:22 PM on July 5, 2014

Double Dutch attempted!
posted by ardgedee at 1:22 PM on July 5, 2014

Almost had a heart attack there!
posted by needled at 1:23 PM on July 5, 2014

Not with Keylor Navas there! YEAH!
posted by lizarrd at 1:23 PM on July 5, 2014

Who is this Bryan Ruiz, and where is the real one?
posted by marienbad at 1:24 PM on July 5, 2014

Notable non-dive there from Robben at the top of the box.
posted by wensink at 1:25 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Holy Moly CR, please don't do that!
posted by marienbad at 1:25 PM on July 5, 2014

Indi sloppy there.
posted by marienbad at 1:27 PM on July 5, 2014

Slightly better free kick this time please, and no tugging people down, Indi. And if you do please let the ref see it and give a pen.
posted by marienbad at 1:33 PM on July 5, 2014

ah well.
posted by marienbad at 1:33 PM on July 5, 2014

The Dutch seem to be getting a bit antsy, a few silly fouls, Sneijder arguing with Indi....

And nearly from Costa Rica and a great run from Robben
posted by marienbad at 1:35 PM on July 5, 2014

...and maybe, maybe you shouldn't be so known for diving that the refs might just ignore your pleas for fairness in calling fouls.
posted by lizarrd at 1:36 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Navas again!!!
posted by marienbad at 1:39 PM on July 5, 2014

GREAT goalkeeping.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:39 PM on July 5, 2014

Navas is rocking it tonight. Another good save there!
posted by running order squabble fest at 1:39 PM on July 5, 2014

Heh, not everyone is Zidane.
posted by ersatz at 1:39 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

The Dutch need to overlap and cross it in a bit maybe, it is way crowded in the middle
posted by marienbad at 1:41 PM on July 5, 2014

Awesome Navas againagain! Wonder how much his value has increased by during the WC.
posted by marienbad at 1:43 PM on July 5, 2014

The Dutch just need to lose.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:43 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

bless, espn promoting MLS during tomorrow's rest day

like a child hanging macaroni art on the fridge
posted by elizardbits at 1:44 PM on July 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

No we don't.
posted by Pendragon at 1:44 PM on July 5, 2014

BBC: 4 babies born in Costa Rica during WC named Keylor, 22 named Joel.
posted by marienbad at 1:44 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I wonder how many Colombian babies will be called James.
posted by lizarrd at 1:46 PM on July 5, 2014

The Dutch goalie is very verdant - he looks a bit like he should be crouching on James Rodriguez' arm...

(Random impending half time thought.)
posted by running order squabble fest at 1:46 PM on July 5, 2014

Campbell needs to drop deep and help out, and when he gets the ball hold it up a bit so his team can get a breather.
posted by marienbad at 1:47 PM on July 5, 2014

And how many US babies will be named Timothy?
posted by travelwithcats at 1:49 PM on July 5, 2014

Should I be impressed that Costa Rica has held the Dutch down this well, or disappointed that neither team can seem to break through the others' lines? I'm confused. Please help.
posted by ardgedee at 1:49 PM on July 5, 2014

A bit of both certainly.
posted by elizardbits at 1:50 PM on July 5, 2014

What are the chances the half-time show on Globo will be all about Neymar with nary a mention of today's games?

I could find out if this commercial break on Globo weren't so freaking long, now that I'm sneaking a look at it.
posted by needled at 1:50 PM on July 5, 2014

This must be the slowest match of the WC.
posted by Pendragon at 1:51 PM on July 5, 2014

Impressed. The Dutch will fall apart in the 2nd half, you could see they were getting frustrated towards the end of the half. 2-0 to Costa Rica.

Sorry Pendragon.
posted by marienbad at 1:52 PM on July 5, 2014

Did you see the Belgium-Russia? Even the Belgians walked out of the bar I was in and it was in Bruges.
posted by biffa at 1:53 PM on July 5, 2014

No, van Gaal will bring on plan B.
posted by Pendragon at 1:54 PM on July 5, 2014

And … we get a shot of the front of Neymar's house and the throngs of fans crowded near it, with policemen holding them back. Hi Neymar's dad waving at the fans! Oh, and now a message from Neymar to his fans. And commercial break.
posted by needled at 1:55 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Belgium Russia? Was it worse than Iran Nigeria?
posted by marienbad at 1:55 PM on July 5, 2014

I hope no-one batters Robben tonight, I'm back at work this week and can't afford to watch it over and over again while cackling. There's just something about him that rubs me the wrong way.
posted by biffa at 1:56 PM on July 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

All of Tim Howard's saves in one gif.
posted by benito.strauss at 1:56 PM on July 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

I fell asleep sitting up during both those games iirc.
posted by elizardbits at 1:57 PM on July 5, 2014

Did you see the Belgium-Russia? Even the Belgians walked out of the bar I was in and it was in Bruges?

In Brussels people thronged in front of the screens. Heavily drinking but hey.
posted by ersatz at 1:57 PM on July 5, 2014

Plan B will be EPIC!
Or this is going to go down to PKs and that'll kind of suck. This is the first game I haven't in the first five minutes thought, 'Yeah, team x is gonna take this away.' Though I do think Netherlands will win.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:58 PM on July 5, 2014

BBC: Alfredo Di Stefano in coma after heart attack.
posted by marienbad at 2:01 PM on July 5, 2014

Skeevy Havaianas ad makes me close the Globo window. I guess I'll never find out if the Brazilians ever got around to discussing anything non-Neymar, say, like today's games.
posted by needled at 2:01 PM on July 5, 2014

I'm more than a little freaked out by the thought of Neymar playing with that kind of injury. Obvsly it's his decision but like, wow, imagine being the guy who gives him his next foul and maybe finishes his career.
posted by elizardbits at 2:04 PM on July 5, 2014

There was a big screen with big crowd in Bruges also but you could see they looked a bit deflated at half time I thought, there was huge energy before kick off. We bailed at the half and the train was full of supporters who were obviously also bailing out.
posted by biffa at 2:04 PM on July 5, 2014

I'm going through withdrawal after so many games without a 30 minute overtime or penalty shoot out.
posted by misha at 2:08 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Well that was clearly not a dive ;)
posted by marienbad at 2:10 PM on July 5, 2014

Did the BBC commentator just make a Lord of the Rings injoke?
posted by ardgedee at 2:11 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

NED will score late and break our underdog rooting hearts. Similar to Mexico and Chile.
posted by wensink at 2:12 PM on July 5, 2014

I see we are calling the goalkeepers by their actual names this time around. Respect. Although I admit I was hoping the Dutch nickname would be "tulip". ;)
posted by misha at 2:13 PM on July 5, 2014

Danny Murphy on ITV has just pointed out that as yellow cards get wiped after the QF it makes sense to 'use it' and have a pop at someone like Robben.
posted by biffa at 2:13 PM on July 5, 2014

Murphy is on teh Beeb.
posted by marienbad at 2:14 PM on July 5, 2014

If Kuyt scores the winner I will faint,
posted by marienbad at 2:16 PM on July 5, 2014

Wow, that's irresponsible of Murphy.
posted by misha at 2:16 PM on July 5, 2014

Blatant penalty.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:18 PM on July 5, 2014

Indi again!! yellow at last.
posted by marienbad at 2:22 PM on July 5, 2014

Best chance of the half so far.
posted by marienbad at 2:23 PM on July 5, 2014

Yup, its right up there in the corner, poor attention to detail on my part. My pitiful defence is I only got back to the UK today so have not been watching with UK commentary since England were still in it.
posted by biffa at 2:23 PM on July 5, 2014

aw, campbell still needs a nap
posted by elizardbits at 2:24 PM on July 5, 2014

Talk about impact substitution
posted by marienbad at 2:25 PM on July 5, 2014

Teheda!!!
posted by marienbad at 2:25 PM on July 5, 2014

Offside again!! wow Holland, double wow Costa Rica!
posted by marienbad at 2:26 PM on July 5, 2014

If this goes to shootout, what do you figure will happen?
posted by ardgedee at 2:28 PM on July 5, 2014

So where's this "Plan B" got to?
posted by marienbad at 2:28 PM on July 5, 2014

One of those attempts should work for Costa Rica.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:30 PM on July 5, 2014

I think van Gaal left it in the hotel :-)
posted by Pendragon at 2:30 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

It won't get to shootout stage. The Netherlands know their martial arts too well for that to happen. Oh wait. De Jong isn't playing.
posted by kariebookish at 2:31 PM on July 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

I predict Robben will pull some dodgy shit between 85 and 90 minutes that will leave us hating him but will nevertheless put the Netherlands in the semi.
posted by biffa at 2:31 PM on July 5, 2014

Lens on for Depay. The last game he came on in, the Guardian comments went like this:

"They looked sharper when Lens came on"

"Surely you mean more focussed."

Well, it made me laugh. Still slow from the Dutch, but the CR sub has been ace since he came on.
posted by marienbad at 2:36 PM on July 5, 2014

Okay, Costa Rica it's time to start hitting back.
posted by 26.2 at 2:37 PM on July 5, 2014

I'm gonna need a gif set to Yakety Sax of the ball rolling under Robben's legs.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:38 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I wanna see Costa Rica do that offside trap with a little sidestepping salsa dance at this point.
posted by lizarrd at 2:39 PM on July 5, 2014

Here we go again, Robben.
posted by kariebookish at 2:39 PM on July 5, 2014

No, that wasn't a dive.
posted by Pendragon at 2:39 PM on July 5, 2014

Oh holy shit, I stopped breathing there.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:40 PM on July 5, 2014

Oh well played, CR!
posted by kariebookish at 2:40 PM on July 5, 2014

Oooooo post
posted by Justinian at 2:40 PM on July 5, 2014

Well played, goalpost!
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:40 PM on July 5, 2014

holy moly - post!!!
posted by marienbad at 2:40 PM on July 5, 2014

Holy crap! Great free kick, terrific clearance by Costa Rica.

(And yeah, I don't think I've seen Robben dive so far - although I missed a bit... maybe he is thinking of his posterity?)
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:41 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶
posted by Justinian at 2:41 PM on July 5, 2014

CR living on the edge, here...
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:41 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thunder Owl?
posted by benito.strauss at 2:42 PM on July 5, 2014

Yeah, looks like they can't hold out much longer.
posted by marienbad at 2:43 PM on July 5, 2014

Does CR have any more subs?
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:43 PM on July 5, 2014

5 mins left, its pretty much next goal wins, as we used to say when we were kids.
posted by marienbad at 2:44 PM on July 5, 2014

one more sub I think for CR
posted by marienbad at 2:44 PM on July 5, 2014

Good D there.
posted by misha at 2:45 PM on July 5, 2014

SLOTH KONG VS. ORANJE
via Tico Times
posted by needled at 2:45 PM on July 5, 2014

RvP shit the bed!
posted by biffa at 2:46 PM on July 5, 2014

To dive or to hit the ball right? Oh, wait, diving didn't work.
posted by lizarrd at 2:47 PM on July 5, 2014

Woah! Diaz with a trip, there. He's kind of lucky to stay on the pitch...
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:49 PM on July 5, 2014

Factoid from the BBC: the Netherlands have never won a World Cup game in overtime.
posted by ardgedee at 2:49 PM on July 5, 2014

Is this our scheduled last-minute goal?
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:49 PM on July 5, 2014

I want somebody to wipe that shit eating grin off of RvP's face.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:49 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

OH MY! Navas conquers the fates!
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:50 PM on July 5, 2014

oh my god i think my heart stopped
posted by elizardbits at 2:50 PM on July 5, 2014

Holy shit, fantastic defense.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 2:50 PM on July 5, 2014

How have the Netherlands not scored?
posted by Pink Frost at 2:50 PM on July 5, 2014

Scramble!!
posted by marienbad at 2:50 PM on July 5, 2014

IT WILL NOT GO IN.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 2:50 PM on July 5, 2014

Wow.
posted by misha at 2:51 PM on July 5, 2014

Inhale. Exhale.
posted by 26.2 at 2:51 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

RvP couldn't score in a brothel, which seems ironic given his nation's liberal attitude to sex work.
posted by biffa at 2:52 PM on July 5, 2014

Navas has to name his next kid after Tejeda, I think.
posted by ardgedee at 2:52 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

And Robben is called offside, despite being on for my money. Could Costa Rica take this to penalties? Because Nava is performing incredibly...
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:53 PM on July 5, 2014

I hope van Gaal has found plan B.
posted by Pendragon at 2:53 PM on July 5, 2014

I have the Nelson Laugh mp3 site open and I hit the button every time the Dutch are offside, i highly recommend everyone else join me in this wildly entertaining pastime
posted by elizardbits at 2:53 PM on July 5, 2014

The combination of RVP choking with the shot of a Dutch fan in the crowd looking sad and ridiculous (orange face, cartoonishly spiked hair, black paint to also make his rather rectangular face look like a soccer ball) has warmed my spiteful heart.
posted by TwoStride at 2:54 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

It's 10 years since Greece won Euro 2004 by the way.
posted by ersatz at 2:54 PM on July 5, 2014

Yeltsin Navas? Tejeda Navas? Yeah, Tejeda's block was amazing. Just like OMG NOOOOO!
posted by lizarrd at 2:54 PM on July 5, 2014

misha can finally get another fix
posted by marienbad at 2:54 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

I do wish the BBC's commentators would stop sneering "COSTA RICA?!" seeing as CR won England's group and it's a good team. Yes, they are punching above their weight in a way, and it's a small country, but they're seeing eye to eye with the Oranje steam train.
posted by kariebookish at 2:55 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm still trying to calm down from that sequence in front of the the Costa Rica goal area.
posted by needled at 2:56 PM on July 5, 2014

Hard not to suspect at this point that the last ten minutes of play would have led to at least one goal if the Dutch weren't worn out enough to be needlessly clumsy and be making bad decisions.
posted by ardgedee at 2:58 PM on July 5, 2014

Can I bet on the goalpost? It seems to be doing well so far.
posted by misha at 2:58 PM on July 5, 2014

Damn, this match has been a master class in the offside trap.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:00 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

What is it with the offsides? It's a bit of a prob for Netherlands.
Also is it just me or are we simply waiting for NED to score? Because when's the last time CR were even on the other side of the field?
posted by From Bklyn at 3:03 PM on July 5, 2014

Noooooooooo! Get up, Navas! Hope the magic spray works.
posted by TwoStride at 3:04 PM on July 5, 2014

Navas!? WE NEED YOU. Get up, Keylor!
posted by lizarrd at 3:05 PM on July 5, 2014

"What is it with the offsides?"

A well drilled back 5.
posted by marienbad at 3:05 PM on July 5, 2014

A clear penalty.
posted by marienbad at 3:06 PM on July 5, 2014

Yes, the dutch have been lucky, two clear penalties not given by the ref.
posted by Pendragon at 3:08 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I am thoroughly enjoying this Nelson mp3 HAHA after an offside.
posted by lizarrd at 3:08 PM on July 5, 2014

In case this goes to penalties, how many saves has Clissen actually made?
posted by marienbad at 3:09 PM on July 5, 2014

I do wish the BBC's commentators would stop sneering "COSTA RICA?!" seeing as CR won England's group and it's a good team. Yes, they are punching above their weight in a way, and it's a small country, but they're seeing eye to eye with the Oranje steam train.

As an aside, is it still the case that soccer in Costa Rica still has to compete against basketball, which is the biggest sport in the country?
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:09 PM on July 5, 2014

Navas is a better keeper than Cillisen, that's for sure.
posted by Pendragon at 3:10 PM on July 5, 2014

Bullshit call, ref.
posted by TwoStride at 3:11 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

how is that handball??
posted by marienbad at 3:11 PM on July 5, 2014

Handball? More like Robben WHINEBALL AMIRITE?
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:11 PM on July 5, 2014 [5 favorites]

Shocking decision again,
Refereeing in the knockout stages has been terrible
posted by fullerine at 3:12 PM on July 5, 2014

Not seeing either of those as clear penalties, myself. I'm with the Guardian, who are calling them both as 'seen them given, but would be harsh'. And the CR players never made too much of a fuss.
posted by Pink Frost at 3:12 PM on July 5, 2014

Los Ticos should make a deal with the devil to get some possession.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:13 PM on July 5, 2014

we are biased towards CR, so clearly penalties ;)
posted by marienbad at 3:13 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Murphy criticising Urena but Holland have stepped it up a bit since Campbell went off surely.
posted by marienbad at 3:15 PM on July 5, 2014

Robben and his bird wings appear to be in a tizzy.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:16 PM on July 5, 2014

HERE COMES PLAN B!
posted by marienbad at 3:17 PM on July 5, 2014

Damn, was hoping Martins Indi would get another yellow and thus be out.
posted by lizarrd at 3:19 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Actually this is plan C.
posted by Pendragon at 3:19 PM on July 5, 2014

Dutch fans are sad. They expected a one-sided match and aren't happy with their team having to work for a win.
posted by ardgedee at 3:19 PM on July 5, 2014

Robben's been shot!
posted by Pink Frost at 3:19 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I love how Johnny Acosta mirror dived Robben.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:20 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

In the interests of saying something positive about the other team, I really dig the way the IJ on Sneijder's jersey is kerned /converted into a ligature.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 3:21 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Is Robben's right foot even capable of scoring a goal?
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:22 PM on July 5, 2014

I can't be bothered to look it up, but I'd put fair odds on the Netherlands kit being designed by Erik Spikkerman. It looks like his sort of thing.
posted by ardgedee at 3:23 PM on July 5, 2014

In the interests of saying something positive about the other team, I really dig the way the IJ on Sneijder's jersey is kerned /converted into a ligature.

I like that too!

And, actually, I like the way the Dutch play football, apart from the ... occasional balance issues. But on the other hand Costa Rica in the semis would be pretty fetch.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:23 PM on July 5, 2014

Good call. Should maybe be a red.
posted by misha at 3:24 PM on July 5, 2014

(Also I like the coaching staff's orange ties. The Dutch genuinely do unironically enjoy wearing orange, it seems.)
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:24 PM on July 5, 2014

Oh come on Dutch sideline dude, your people DIVE ALL THE TIME! You cannot shake your head as if that wasn't deserved.
posted by lizarrd at 3:26 PM on July 5, 2014

Navas is a better keeper than Cillisen, that's for sure.

Dutch penalty specialist Tim Krul is apparently warming up, which would be a little high-risk...
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:27 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Offside traps, offside traps everywhere.
posted by Grimgrin at 3:27 PM on July 5, 2014

Admiral Ackbar would be proud.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:28 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

COME ON COSTA RICA!
posted by marienbad at 3:28 PM on July 5, 2014

Fucking hell, does anyone at this world cup know how to take a corner?
posted by marienbad at 3:29 PM on July 5, 2014

OH WOW!
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:29 PM on July 5, 2014

cry

so fucking close
posted by elizardbits at 3:29 PM on July 5, 2014

OMFG Costa Rica...wow
posted by marienbad at 3:30 PM on July 5, 2014

Holy cow, exciting three minutes from CR here!
posted by TwoStride at 3:30 PM on July 5, 2014

God, incredible scoring chances at both ends. Man...
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:30 PM on July 5, 2014

I just want to type an incoherent stream of letters and numbers. Instead, I will just shake my head.
posted by lizarrd at 3:30 PM on July 5, 2014

Say that again!
posted by ersatz at 3:30 PM on July 5, 2014

If Robben had passed there
posted by marienbad at 3:30 PM on July 5, 2014

Corner...they've done this in practice? Yes?
posted by 26.2 at 3:30 PM on July 5, 2014

Wish the whole game had been like this.
posted by Pink Frost at 3:31 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

YAY crossbar!
posted by misha at 3:32 PM on July 5, 2014

It's official: Goalpost has been declared Man of the Match.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:32 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Penalties ahoy?
posted by marienbad at 3:32 PM on July 5, 2014

RVP just blocked his own teammate's shot? /nelsonlaugh
posted by TwoStride at 3:32 PM on July 5, 2014

when navas is elected president of costa rica goalpost shall be his VP
posted by elizardbits at 3:32 PM on July 5, 2014 [5 favorites]

What I say is coming true for some reason, so I will say that Costa Rica will win this game.
posted by misha at 3:33 PM on July 5, 2014

Yep, Krul on!
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:34 PM on July 5, 2014

Kriul on!!! whoa
posted by marienbad at 3:34 PM on July 5, 2014

Holland just replaced their goalie? It's not like the man was over-exercised.
posted by ardgedee at 3:35 PM on July 5, 2014

I mean, hindsight's gonna be coming in about 10 minutes, but what do we all think of putting in a different goalie for the PKs? Think he'll be warmed up enough? Navas has had all game to be in the zone and build confidence.
posted by TwoStride at 3:35 PM on July 5, 2014

when navas is elected president of costa rica goalpost shall be his VP

Simpsons 'In Rod Post We Trust'
posted by Pink Frost at 3:35 PM on July 5, 2014

You'd think someone would smack vanPersie into wakefulness.
posted by From Bklyn at 3:35 PM on July 5, 2014

I HATE seeing games end on PKs but if Costa Rica wins (shrugs), I'm good with that.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:35 PM on July 5, 2014

Bloody hell, I would not have guessed Netherlands goal-less after 120 minutes.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:36 PM on July 5, 2014

Krul must have been doing very well on saving penalties in training that week... it's a ballsy move by LvG, though.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:37 PM on July 5, 2014

Bloody hell, don't tell me that little chubby bald bloke is the Dutch goalkeeping coach?
posted by marienbad at 3:38 PM on July 5, 2014

Re: a new goalie, it's not like the incumbent was particularly heavily exercised.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 3:38 PM on July 5, 2014

Oh my. Having a bad feeling about NL
posted by ersatz at 3:39 PM on July 5, 2014

Navas is just astounding! Hope he's as invincible for penalties!
posted by leslies at 3:39 PM on July 5, 2014

You know who else they called a little chubby bald bloke?
posted by Pink Frost at 3:39 PM on July 5, 2014

CR should take every opportunity right now to remind Dutch players that the Orange have never won in overtime at World Cup.

[My son wants someone to whisper to RVP, "Do you really want to do this?" Heh.]
posted by misha at 3:40 PM on July 5, 2014

Apologies to MartinWisse, but I really want to see some Oranje on the next post of Sad Footballers.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:40 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

My theory is that teams don't win two penalty shoot outs in a row. So Holland will win somehow, even if they are Holland, and this is penalties.
posted by dng at 3:40 PM on July 5, 2014

C'mon Navas...
posted by joedan at 3:41 PM on July 5, 2014

Apparently Krul has only saved 2 out of 20 penalties in the Premier League. Big move. Here we go. Goal Costa Rica.
posted by Pink Frost at 3:41 PM on July 5, 2014

Yeah, but Puskas wasn't a goalie!
posted by marienbad at 3:41 PM on July 5, 2014

RvP to miss
posted by marienbad at 3:41 PM on July 5, 2014

oh well
posted by marienbad at 3:42 PM on July 5, 2014

I wish they'd use the behind the player floating camera for the shoutouts. It looks so much better when you can see the whole goal like that.
posted by dng at 3:42 PM on July 5, 2014

nope :-(
posted by leslies at 3:42 PM on July 5, 2014

Oh NOOO!
posted by misha at 3:42 PM on July 5, 2014

noooooo
posted by elizardbits at 3:42 PM on July 5, 2014

Eep.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:43 PM on July 5, 2014

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah! My nerves are shattering.
posted by TwoStride at 3:43 PM on July 5, 2014

You just knew Ruiz would miss, after the way he's played
posted by marienbad at 3:43 PM on July 5, 2014

agonizing to watch
posted by leslies at 3:44 PM on July 5, 2014

Very quiet grudging murmurs here that Ribben's was a good shot.
posted by misha at 3:44 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm standing in the middle of Disney watching PKs. Dammit, CR, do this!
posted by eriko at 3:44 PM on July 5, 2014

Yay!
posted by misha at 3:44 PM on July 5, 2014

Darn.
posted by misha at 3:45 PM on July 5, 2014

Krul's a wanker then.
posted by biffa at 3:45 PM on July 5, 2014

Almost over.
posted by marienbad at 3:45 PM on July 5, 2014

Apologies if this has been posted before, but if anyone else needs a comforting distraction Which WC player are you? quiz is hilarious. (Spoiler: pick all the petulant answers and you're Cristiano Ronaldo!)
posted by TwoStride at 3:45 PM on July 5, 2014

Yessss.
posted by misha at 3:46 PM on July 5, 2014

I'm enjoying Navas' pre-kick dance, although it doesn't seem to be working out for him so far...
posted by joedan at 3:46 PM on July 5, 2014

Oh God my heart.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:46 PM on July 5, 2014

Come on, Costa Rica! One more shot. You have to make this.
posted by misha at 3:46 PM on July 5, 2014

NOOOOOOO!
posted by misha at 3:47 PM on July 5, 2014

EVERYTHING IS THE MOST TERRIBLE
posted by elizardbits at 3:47 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Booooo
posted by shortfuse at 3:47 PM on July 5, 2014

WELL DAMMIT.
posted by TwoStride at 3:47 PM on July 5, 2014

Krul is the hero. ffs.
posted by marienbad at 3:47 PM on July 5, 2014

SHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTT
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:47 PM on July 5, 2014

Dammit. Nice effort though, Ticos.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:47 PM on July 5, 2014

So sad - they deserved to win this.
posted by leslies at 3:47 PM on July 5, 2014

Damn it!
posted by joedan at 3:48 PM on July 5, 2014

Well, that gutsy substitution paid off for the Netherlands.

Credit to both sides, though - that was an incredibly entertaining match.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:48 PM on July 5, 2014

Bugger
posted by fullerine at 3:48 PM on July 5, 2014

YES YES YES YES
posted by Pendragon at 3:48 PM on July 5, 2014

Well, the Dutch played a tough game. And they've beaten that no OT statistic now.
posted by misha at 3:48 PM on July 5, 2014

Feel for Ruiz, he has played so well and looked exhausted - shouldn't have taken a pen.
posted by marienbad at 3:48 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

There it is.
Oh that was tough
posted by From Bklyn at 3:48 PM on July 5, 2014

Okay Argentina, get your act together and destroy this team.
posted by 26.2 at 3:48 PM on July 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

Oh phew.
posted by ersatz at 3:49 PM on July 5, 2014

I think I want the German's to win. I know it's wrong.
posted by biffa at 3:49 PM on July 5, 2014

Sloth Kong we will miss you and I'm sad that you will not indeed crush the Oranje today.
posted by lizarrd at 3:49 PM on July 5, 2014

Hard luck Costa Rica. Best team obviously won, but still a shame. Though I think at least this will make the semi more competitive.

My gf made a good point that Krul could have been sitting on the bench studying the CR penalty takers, especially as they'd already had a shootout in this cup.
posted by Pink Frost at 3:49 PM on July 5, 2014

Aw, and Cillesen running screaming onto the pitch to hug Krul was sort of heartwarming.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:49 PM on July 5, 2014

Good try, Average Joes, but Global Gym won this one.
posted by misha at 3:49 PM on July 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.
posted by eriko at 3:50 PM on July 5, 2014

yes i would like to see argentina leave a sad little orange smear on the pitch come wednesday
posted by elizardbits at 3:50 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

They're all I have left. Argentina, you are not my favorite, but you're all I have left. Make some orange juice. Then either make some bratwurst or caipirinhas.
posted by lizarrd at 3:52 PM on July 5, 2014

I don't think I like any of the teams left.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:52 PM on July 5, 2014

I'm going to take Germany for the whole shebang, but I've been wrong in my predictions so far, so...

See you Tuesday, everyone!
posted by misha at 3:52 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

hello eriko, welcome back.

At least this is good for Argentina as Holland will be slightly more tired.

Ciao misha
posted by marienbad at 3:54 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I guess I'll root for Brazil.
posted by needled at 3:54 PM on July 5, 2014

I'm casting my lots with the Germans now.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:55 PM on July 5, 2014

Sticking with Argentina, just. Please don't blink, Sabella.
posted by marienbad at 3:56 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

You know, it's super weird to be in a soccer thread and have everyone cheering for Argentina...
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:56 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Can someone explain this Do you really want to do this? thing for me?
posted by lizarrd at 3:56 PM on July 5, 2014

Not much love for any of the remaining teams here, either. Maybe Netherlands as the only team not to have won the cup before.

Di Maria is apparently out of the Cup.

And the Guardian has a couple of good articles: 25 of the best all-time WC photos and 23 headliners who didn't kick a ball. (The second is mildly diverting, but the first has some great pictures, though it helps if you know the oontex).
posted by Pink Frost at 3:57 PM on July 5, 2014

That's what this World Cup has brought us to. The only non-champion left are the Dutch and frankly after their martial arts and diving I'd rather they never win a World Cup.
posted by lizarrd at 3:57 PM on July 5, 2014 [6 favorites]

I'd root for Brazil as the home team, plus I like Brazilian music, but the officiating in their last game leaves an ugly taste.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:58 PM on July 5, 2014

Who wants to make a new post for our semifinal discussion? We have already over 900 comments here.
posted by travelwithcats at 3:58 PM on July 5, 2014

I'm rooting for the Dutch to win, but I'd bet on the Germans.
posted by Area Man at 4:00 PM on July 5, 2014

Someone who was rooting for the Dutch tonight - it is their special mefi winners present - see if they can slip a WC thread past the mods.
posted by marienbad at 4:02 PM on July 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Who will be our next "magnificent bastard"?
posted by marienbad at 4:03 PM on July 5, 2014

Can someone explain this Do you really want to do this? thing for me?

Oh, lizarrd, it's just a Fargo thing.
posted by misha at 4:05 PM on July 5, 2014

Yeah, the mods feel there's a glut of soccer posts right now. Maybe a non-WC post then?
posted by travelwithcats at 4:24 PM on July 5, 2014

too bad cause there's 4 games to go and if the US had somehow magically made it to the semis there would absolutely be another thread to deal with the madness

so there
posted by elizardbits at 4:36 PM on July 5, 2014

Since the page will update on the fly with new posts, thread length shouldn't matter much.

The only time you should see the whole page reload is if you post a comment.

> Yeah, the mods feel there's a glut of soccer posts right now. Maybe a non-WC post then?

No, I don't think that would be cool.
posted by ardgedee at 5:53 PM on July 5, 2014

I did a quick pass at a tally and the three big World Cup threads had more posts than all of the Fanfare did for the last month. It seems that relative to traffic, there are not all that many threads. Also, as big as the World Cup threads are I haven't seen any moderation needed in any of them.

Perhaps a fresh thread a day for the remainder?
posted by 26.2 at 7:45 PM on July 5, 2014

Drinking a beer after dinner, fireworks, and more fireworks.

Watching the penalties in Disney's Hollywood Studios on a cell phone with a family from Costa Rica was both amazing and heartbreaking. Truly the world's game.

Nevas. Ochoa. Howard. CONCACAF knows how to make goalies. Period. And it took extra time to knock out the US, and Penalties to knock out Costa Rica. Our little confederation did good.

So sorry, Ticos. Hell of a run.
posted by eriko at 8:04 PM on July 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

You look at the teams Costa Rica played to get where they did, and you ask yourself "would England have beaten any of those teams" and you know the answer is no.
posted by marienbad at 12:58 AM on July 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

Well, yes I think it would be good to have a World Cup post for the semis and then one for the final. It seems like interest is catching on among Mefites. And each new FPP increases visibility. Currently, there are no soccer related posts on the front page.

With close to 1000 comments any thread is getting slower to load, and posting is the point of following a FPP. Especially with the fast moving games it's really a pain to have slow loading FPPs. So far we had about 200 new comments per game and the final might yield even more.

However I understand that a post merely mentioning the tournament might be regarded as thin. Bringing it together with another aspect of soccer, sports, politics or what have you, might make for more substance.

I contacted the mods before posting this FPP and the mod-on-duty who responded said there was a glut of soccer FPPs, but they did not outright say it's too many or we can't post more. I am not sure if this is the general stance the mods take.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:52 AM on July 6, 2014

More on Alfredo Di Stefano: " Real Madrid great Alfredo Di Stefano is in intensive care after suffering a heart attack on Saturday.

Di Stefano, who turned 88 this week, was taken to the Gregorio Maranon hospital in Madrid after falling ill close to Real's Bernabeu stadium.

He has had several health problems in recent years and, in 2005, was fitted with a pacemaker after heart surgery. "

(There are 5 lovely Di Stefano pictures at the bottom of that page too.)
posted by marienbad at 4:09 AM on July 6, 2014

Here Comes the Ball, a tumblr of evocative MS-Paint-y recaps of the world cup games.
posted by Anything at 5:53 AM on July 6, 2014

Belgium vs Algeria being my favorite thus far.
posted by Anything at 5:59 AM on July 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

> Especially with the fast moving games it's really a pain to have slow loading FPPs. So far we had about 200 new comments per game and the final might yield even more.

Are you manually refreshing the page every few minutes, or clicking the "n new posts" button at the bottom of the page?

Because, seriously, the size of the thread shouldn't matter. We've had threads over 4,000 comments long without problems since the live update was installed.
posted by ardgedee at 6:41 AM on July 6, 2014

Stepping back from MeTa territory for a moment: One of the unsurprising controversies du jour is whether Krul's intimidating conduct last night was legal. Kind of agreeing with The Guardian's take: Probably legal, probably shitty.
posted by ardgedee at 6:46 AM on July 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yes, thank you ardgedee, I understand that distinction. Loading the thread after posting just takes longer when there are many comments. I believe there are other people who prefer fresh FPPs for exactly this reason. And to answer your question, I use the live update all the time. This is about it automatically loading the entire thread whenever you post a comment.
posted by travelwithcats at 7:04 AM on July 6, 2014

Yeah, the ref had a word with Krul but did not send him back into the box - I was kinda waiting for that to happen.
posted by travelwithcats at 7:06 AM on July 6, 2014

I'm on mobile so can't see the mod contact but is it worth asking for a fanfare thread for each semi and the final? It saves having to make up a thread, is televised so fits and would drive views to fanfare. Seems like a good fit. Would be useful to have a link on the front page if agreeable to the mods.
posted by biffa at 9:47 AM on July 6, 2014

According to Sounder at Heart, DeAndre Yedlin will be heading to Roma at the end of the MLS season, with a possible pit stop in Genoa for work permit reasons.
posted by Errant at 9:57 AM on July 6, 2014

With all due respect to the MeFi mods, sometimes I feel as if they are as are arbitrary and capricious as FIFA.
posted by wensink at 10:08 AM on July 6, 2014

Tweet! █

That's it wesink. I'm afraid you're going to have to miss the next thread.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:30 AM on July 6, 2014 [7 favorites]

Where do I direct my appeal?
posted by wensink at 10:34 AM on July 6, 2014

You guys crack me up!
P.S.:That's an impressive yellow card.
posted by travelwithcats at 10:42 AM on July 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Your game for today, seeing as there's no game to watch...

Caption This Picture.

Here's mine: That's the closest Fred's come to a footbaall all tournament,

Also, this made me laugh (apols its from the mail, but it is the footy side, not the political!) - check out the caption on the first picture: Who are these 2 guys anyway?
posted by marienbad at 6:16 AM on July 7, 2014

Marienbad: Do not taunt happy fun football.
posted by eriko at 7:06 AM on July 7, 2014

If the next thread is not about David Luiz, then everything is wrong in this world. The skills. The occasional epic lapse in play. The general happy goofiness.

The HAIR.
posted by 26.2 at 1:59 PM on July 7, 2014

So you volunteer?
posted by travelwithcats at 2:01 PM on July 7, 2014

Because if I have to make another WC FPP, it will be about corrupt FIFA and/or a host of other ugly issues....
posted by travelwithcats at 2:03 PM on July 7, 2014

I'm crap at doing FFP. I write them and never post because they are awful. It would be all Squee! D-L!

I'm all ideas. No execution. (I'm pretty sure I'm playing for Spain or England.)
posted by 26.2 at 2:10 PM on July 7, 2014

There are awful FPPs every day, so what!? Heck, this was a crap FPP - if you look closely it had maybe a handful of comments that were on topic. My FPP from yesterday had 2 comments. Don't let the idea of perfection stop you, if you have an idea and already start writing, it is good enough to be posted. Post one and I guarantee you it will get hundreds of comments because we'll be commenting/discussing the match.
posted by travelwithcats at 2:19 PM on July 7, 2014

There are awful FPPs every day

We could always use a post on MetaTalk about the worst FPPs evah.
posted by wensink at 3:38 PM on July 7, 2014

Meta is queued IIRC and needs to be approved. Also having a FPP increases visibility.
posted by travelwithcats at 3:54 PM on July 7, 2014

Bueller? Schweinsteiger?
posted by wensink at 7:37 AM on July 8, 2014

Okay - It hurt me to do it, but the post is here.
posted by 26.2 at 7:59 AM on July 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

26.2: Okay - It hurt me to do it, but the post is here.

*Sees 26.2 rolling around on the pitch, grabbing an ankle. Runs over with magic spray and stretcher.*
posted by Rock Steady at 10:48 AM on July 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

I did ask about having a Fanfare thrad WC semi thread today, it has been pushed up to Matt but looks like it won't happen.
posted by biffa at 11:15 AM on July 8, 2014

Biffa, in case you didn't see it yet: We're here.
posted by travelwithcats at 12:15 PM on July 8, 2014

Thanks, got it, sadly, my commitment to being able to drop "Do people still watch television" into conversation has come back to bite my bum, now I am back from hols I either have to watch at the pub or do Mefi WC chat, but not really both.
posted by biffa at 12:22 PM on July 8, 2014