The crater is large enough for several Mi-8 helicopters to fly into it.
July 16, 2014 10:11 AM Subscribe
An enormous hole has appeared (YouTube, 0:34) in Russia's Yamal Peninsula, near the Bovanenkovo natural-gas field. 'We can definitely say that it is not a meteorite. No details yet,' said a spokesman.
My money's on methane release from global warming. Anyone want to join my apocalyptic biker gang?
posted by natteringnabob at 10:17 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by natteringnabob at 10:17 AM on July 16, 2014
Authorities are looking into it...
posted by ssmug at 10:17 AM on July 16, 2014 [13 favorites]
posted by ssmug at 10:17 AM on July 16, 2014 [13 favorites]
Yes, they're being rebooted.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:17 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:17 AM on July 16, 2014
That is some HP Lovecraft bullshit right there.
posted by a hat out of hell at 10:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [9 favorites]
posted by a hat out of hell at 10:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [9 favorites]
Get out of here, Stalker!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [6 favorites]
This post reads like the first sentence of a novel about the Earth slowly collapsing in on itself.
It is in the "end of the world".
posted by brundlefly at 10:18 AM on July 16, 2014
It is in the "end of the world".
posted by brundlefly at 10:18 AM on July 16, 2014
Siberia is such ripe territory for mysteries such as these.
posted by Halogenhat at 10:19 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by Halogenhat at 10:19 AM on July 16, 2014
That peninsula is just one long smorgasbord.
posted by chillmost at 10:21 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by chillmost at 10:21 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Anyone seen the Fantastic Four?
posted by whir at 10:16 AM on July 16 [1 favorite +] [!]
Yes, and the even more relevant Uncanny X-Men #284
posted by snottydick at 10:22 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by whir at 10:16 AM on July 16 [1 favorite +] [!]
Yes, and the even more relevant Uncanny X-Men #284
posted by snottydick at 10:22 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Gopherzilla!
This one is small and can only take baby steppes, but soon the parents will come looking for the lost child....
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:24 AM on July 16, 2014 [11 favorites]
This one is small and can only take baby steppes, but soon the parents will come looking for the lost child....
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:24 AM on July 16, 2014 [11 favorites]
I'm thinking your party should be at least level 15 or so before venturing into that hole.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:27 AM on July 16, 2014 [41 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:27 AM on July 16, 2014 [41 favorites]
The Russians have broken open the sarcophagus.
posted by eriko at 10:27 AM on July 16, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by eriko at 10:27 AM on July 16, 2014 [6 favorites]
"The crater is large enough for several Mi-8 helicopters to fly into it."
The question is: Why haven't they?
posted by huguini at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2014 [15 favorites]
The question is: Why haven't they?
posted by huguini at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2014 [15 favorites]
Just cover the entrance with torches and the farming engine we built 20 blocks down won't be swarmed by mobs.
posted by Slackermagee at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by Slackermagee at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
Anyone seen goatse?
damn it, potsmokinghippieoverlord!
posted by Naberius at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
damn it, potsmokinghippieoverlord!
posted by Naberius at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
Siberia's goatse!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
DAMMIT NABERIUS
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:29 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:29 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
This is why we have drones, people.
posted by boo_radley at 10:30 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by boo_radley at 10:30 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
Somebody got too close to a really big Creeper.
posted by stenseng at 10:30 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by stenseng at 10:30 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
Time to bust out XK-PLUTO. Hell, probably the whole XK arsenal, just to be safe.
posted by aramaic at 10:30 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by aramaic at 10:30 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
stupidsexyFlanders: This post reads like the first sentence of a novel about the Earth slowly collapsing in on itself.
I believe you are think of David Brin's book "Earth": http://www.davidbrin.com/earth.html
posted by wenestvedt at 10:30 AM on July 16, 2014
I believe you are think of David Brin's book "Earth": http://www.davidbrin.com/earth.html
posted by wenestvedt at 10:30 AM on July 16, 2014
Looks about like the right radius for the hole to be the (previously) sealed portal from the Soviet Kaiju program. It'll be interesting to see what comes out, and it might distract Putin for a while.
posted by barnacles at 10:31 AM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by barnacles at 10:31 AM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
Well, naberius, we either share the same awful web browsing experience or the same awful sense of humor.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:33 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:33 AM on July 16, 2014
That picture reminds me of the part of one of Larry Niven's "Ringworld" books where they find (or make?) a hole through the Ring -- like a tear in some tough, artificial material.
posted by wenestvedt at 10:33 AM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by wenestvedt at 10:33 AM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
It really does look like something came out, rather than went in, doesn't it?
posted by Rock Steady at 10:33 AM on July 16, 2014 [9 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:33 AM on July 16, 2014 [9 favorites]
Yes it does, Rock Steady AND IT'S FLYING OVER YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD RIGHT NOW!!!
posted by Curious Artificer at 10:34 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by Curious Artificer at 10:34 AM on July 16, 2014
It'll be interesting to see what comes out, and it might distract Putin for a while.
You mean, while he rides it around, shirtless?
posted by stenseng at 10:34 AM on July 16, 2014 [15 favorites]
You mean, while he rides it around, shirtless?
posted by stenseng at 10:34 AM on July 16, 2014 [15 favorites]
I love the smell of viral marketing in the morning.... Smells like... astroturf.
posted by entropicamericana at 10:34 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by entropicamericana at 10:34 AM on July 16, 2014
I guess it's time to start up the Jaeger program.
posted by brundlefly at 10:34 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by brundlefly at 10:34 AM on July 16, 2014
An enormous hole has appeared ... near the Bovanenkovo natural gas field.
Oh, I can't imagine that those things are related in any way.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 10:35 AM on July 16, 2014 [25 favorites]
Oh, I can't imagine that those things are related in any way.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 10:35 AM on July 16, 2014 [25 favorites]
Looking at the area around it on google Maps it looks to me like a sink hole caused by underground water flow.
posted by I-baLL at 10:35 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by I-baLL at 10:35 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Loved one of the comments on the last link: "Planet discovered outside of hole baffles scientists".
posted by plastic_animals at 10:37 AM on July 16, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by plastic_animals at 10:37 AM on July 16, 2014 [11 favorites]
The crater is large enough for several Mi-8 helicopters to fly into it.
Is this just a standard Russian unit of measurement that we're all supposed to know? Like, is everything in Russia measured in terms of military tech?
also:
*gulp*
posted by Think_Long at 10:37 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
Is this just a standard Russian unit of measurement that we're all supposed to know? Like, is everything in Russia measured in terms of military tech?
also:
*gulp*
posted by Think_Long at 10:37 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
Somebody got too close to a really big Creeper.
Or a Charged Creeper.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:38 AM on July 16, 2014
Or a Charged Creeper.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:38 AM on July 16, 2014
Maybe whatever we poked with the Kola Superdeep Borehole is sending a probe of their own back up.
posted by murphy slaw at 10:39 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by murphy slaw at 10:39 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
"Sink holes don't generally have matter thrust up out of them. They are caused by things falling in."
Wait, am I missing something? I didn't see anything thrust out of the hole.
posted by I-baLL at 10:40 AM on July 16, 2014
Wait, am I missing something? I didn't see anything thrust out of the hole.
posted by I-baLL at 10:40 AM on July 16, 2014
Sydney Morning Herald:
A giant, mysterious crater in northern Siberia is probably a melted ice formation rather than a hole from a meteor, says an Australian polar scientist.
The Siberian Times reported the giant hole in the Yamal Peninsula - which reportedly translates to “end of the world” - is up to 80 metres wide and has an unknown depth.
A team of Russian scientists have been dispatched to investigate the crater but University of New South Wales polar scientist Dr Chris Fogwill says it’s likely to be a geological phenomenon called a pingo.
Some collapsed pingos.
posted by ryanshepard at 10:41 AM on July 16, 2014 [23 favorites]
A giant, mysterious crater in northern Siberia is probably a melted ice formation rather than a hole from a meteor, says an Australian polar scientist.
The Siberian Times reported the giant hole in the Yamal Peninsula - which reportedly translates to “end of the world” - is up to 80 metres wide and has an unknown depth.
A team of Russian scientists have been dispatched to investigate the crater but University of New South Wales polar scientist Dr Chris Fogwill says it’s likely to be a geological phenomenon called a pingo.
Some collapsed pingos.
posted by ryanshepard at 10:41 AM on July 16, 2014 [23 favorites]
So in the end, the true menace is that of global climate change and we, humanity, was the monster all along. Science makes for the most killjoy of morality plays.
posted by Apocryphon at 10:44 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Apocryphon at 10:44 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
Initial reports and images were suspected to be fakes, but the hole is a real phenomenon and it is believed to have been formed around two years ago.I like very much that Yamal is so remote that a hole the size of a city block could appear and it would years for anyone to notice.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:44 AM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
Nearly an entire futbol or football field (choose your sport) could fit inside it.
But how many bananas?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:47 AM on July 16, 2014
At least it's not permanently ablaze like that one giant terrifying firey hole in Turkmenistan? I guess? Is that a bright side?
we're all gonna die
posted by elizardbits at 10:47 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
we're all gonna die
posted by elizardbits at 10:47 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
hippybear: That stuff around it could mean that that spot is composed of different matter than the area around it thus making that spot more susceptible to a sink hole.
posted by I-baLL at 10:48 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by I-baLL at 10:48 AM on July 16, 2014
I am ashamed to say it, but the EARTH ANUS link doesn't work.
Signed,
Taking One For The Team
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:48 AM on July 16, 2014 [5 favorites]
Signed,
Taking One For The Team
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:48 AM on July 16, 2014 [5 favorites]
Wait, am I missing something? I didn't see anything thrust out of the hole
To me it does look like it's surrounded with some debris.
Anna Kurchatova from Sub-Arctic Scientific Research Centre thinks the crater was formed by a water, salt and gas mixture igniting an underground explosion
Neat!
we're all gonna die
Because of this? Or just sayin?
posted by aubilenon at 10:49 AM on July 16, 2014
To me it does look like it's surrounded with some debris.
Anna Kurchatova from Sub-Arctic Scientific Research Centre thinks the crater was formed by a water, salt and gas mixture igniting an underground explosion
Neat!
we're all gonna die
Because of this? Or just sayin?
posted by aubilenon at 10:49 AM on July 16, 2014
Anybody have the hole's coordinates? I only found the general region.
posted by I-baLL at 10:49 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by I-baLL at 10:49 AM on July 16, 2014
The collapsed pingo theory is pretty good, but those pictures are missing the vertical walls descending into fathomless darkness that make Ямал-Аномалия-01 so appealing
posted by theodolite at 10:49 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by theodolite at 10:49 AM on July 16, 2014
anyway the smart money's on experimental geostationary beam weapon
posted by theodolite at 10:52 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 10:52 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
> the Yamal Peninsula - which reportedly translates to “end of the world”
You know, I was absolutely positive this was going to turn out to be egregious bullshit, but no: Yamal is from Nenets ya 'earth' and mal 'end'; the name originally applied only to the cape at the northwest end of the peninsula.
This has been your etymological sidebar; you may now resume wringing your hands, wailing, and stockpiling essentials.
posted by languagehat at 10:52 AM on July 16, 2014 [46 favorites]
You know, I was absolutely positive this was going to turn out to be egregious bullshit, but no: Yamal is from Nenets ya 'earth' and mal 'end'; the name originally applied only to the cape at the northwest end of the peninsula.
This has been your etymological sidebar; you may now resume wringing your hands, wailing, and stockpiling essentials.
posted by languagehat at 10:52 AM on July 16, 2014 [46 favorites]
We need Daredemon Reebus Canibis to rocket into the hole.
posted by charlie don't surf at 10:55 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by charlie don't surf at 10:55 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
"The crater is large enough for several Mi-8 helicopters to fly into it."
The question is: Why haven't they?
Two guesses off the top of my head. If the crater has any heavier-than-air gasses in it, flying around in them could be dangerous or breathing and possibly igniting them, and if the edges or "ceiling" or the area under the opening is unstable, the helicopters could cause it to collapse and then you'd have a huge dust cloud.
Also, if there's a lot of loose dust in there anyway, the rotors might disturb it enough that they wouldn't be able to see anything anyway. I don't know if any static generated by the rotors would have the power to spark natural gas into an explosion, but it wouldn't be fun to find out, and all you'd get is another "Door To Hell".
posted by Zack_Replica at 10:56 AM on July 16, 2014
The question is: Why haven't they?
Two guesses off the top of my head. If the crater has any heavier-than-air gasses in it, flying around in them could be dangerous or breathing and possibly igniting them, and if the edges or "ceiling" or the area under the opening is unstable, the helicopters could cause it to collapse and then you'd have a huge dust cloud.
Also, if there's a lot of loose dust in there anyway, the rotors might disturb it enough that they wouldn't be able to see anything anyway. I don't know if any static generated by the rotors would have the power to spark natural gas into an explosion, but it wouldn't be fun to find out, and all you'd get is another "Door To Hell".
posted by Zack_Replica at 10:56 AM on July 16, 2014
You say that like the Door to Hell isn't awesome and worth repeating in as many locales as we can manage.
It is awesome, and we should. It is our mandate as a fire-using civilization.
posted by aramaic at 10:59 AM on July 16, 2014 [5 favorites]
It is awesome, and we should. It is our mandate as a fire-using civilization.
posted by aramaic at 10:59 AM on July 16, 2014 [5 favorites]
Drop a mortar flare into it. If it's full of methane, there will be a noticeable reaction.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:04 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:04 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
Also, hippybear, you might be totally right. I'm just saying my theory. I don't think we'll know though until we get more info.
posted by I-baLL at 11:09 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by I-baLL at 11:09 AM on July 16, 2014
I'm skeptical about the "up to 80 meter" estimate, based solely on this truly crappy quality video, which frustratingly pans off to some unremarkable tundra right when we're about to get our best look down into the hole. That said, given all the talk about the area being one of the biggest natural gas reserves in the world, and given the documented release of large amounts of methane in areas like Siberia due to climate change, it doesn't seem that surprising that there might have been an underground explosion that resulted in a sink-hole-like opening.
More fun to think about demons or aliens than how we've fucked up the planet, though.
posted by aught at 11:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
More fun to think about demons or aliens than how we've fucked up the planet, though.
posted by aught at 11:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
GenjiandProust: "Gopherzilla!"
Mozilla.org removed the gopher client from Firefox a while back, but...
If I ever make an gopher client add-on for Firefox, I know what to name it!!!
posted by symbioid at 11:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [6 favorites]
Mozilla.org removed the gopher client from Firefox a while back, but...
If I ever make an gopher client add-on for Firefox, I know what to name it!!!
posted by symbioid at 11:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [6 favorites]
They removed the tumor, which appeared to be moving like a pulsing fleshy sack. He cut open the tumor, and a fleshy creature emerged that looked like an 18-inch-long cross between a fetus and a seal. Flippers and all. But the eyes looked human. It was alive and connected to the tumor with an umbilical cord.
The creature observed its human fathers with reverence, disconnected itself from the cord, and gave Mel a feeling of being in the presence of a miracle. One of the Basques suggested killing it. They did not. The thing crawled to the edge of the table. It looked up at Mel, who seemed to feel connected to it, in some way. Mel felt compelled to pick it up, and put it on the ground. The goo left on Mel's hands smelled like ozone. (Via)
posted by mudpuppie at 11:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
The creature observed its human fathers with reverence, disconnected itself from the cord, and gave Mel a feeling of being in the presence of a miracle. One of the Basques suggested killing it. They did not. The thing crawled to the edge of the table. It looked up at Mel, who seemed to feel connected to it, in some way. Mel felt compelled to pick it up, and put it on the ground. The goo left on Mel's hands smelled like ozone. (Via)
posted by mudpuppie at 11:18 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
My first thought is "are there any monster movies coming out soon?" because I just automatically assume this is some sort of guerilla marketing stunt. If not...then wow.
posted by jnnla at 11:19 AM on July 16, 2014
posted by jnnla at 11:19 AM on July 16, 2014
I believe Belgium is the proper unit of measurement.
Is it 1/32 Belgiums?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:20 AM on July 16, 2014
Is it 1/32 Belgiums?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:20 AM on July 16, 2014
potsmokinghippieoverlord, I believe that Russia uses the metric system, so that'd be 0.03125 Belgiums.
(Original units not checked for accuracy)
posted by straw at 11:22 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
(Original units not checked for accuracy)
posted by straw at 11:22 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
I get 0.1639 milliBelgiums.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:26 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 11:26 AM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
Huh, I always thought plural of Belgium is Belgia
posted by aubilenon at 11:26 AM on July 16, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 11:26 AM on July 16, 2014 [5 favorites]
Can someone translate this to Libraries of Congress?
The LoC is a measure of data storage, not volume.
The Mi-8T Hind model has a rotor diameter of 21.29 m, so with an 80 m-diameter hole under ideal conditions only three of them could descend into the depths of hell to their inevitable, soul-destroying doom.
posted by Celsius1414 at 11:31 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
The LoC is a measure of data storage, not volume.
The Mi-8T Hind model has a rotor diameter of 21.29 m, so with an 80 m-diameter hole under ideal conditions only three of them could descend into the depths of hell to their inevitable, soul-destroying doom.
posted by Celsius1414 at 11:31 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
It doesn't resemble a pingo to me, from my brief foray into google image search and wikipedia. There's too much crud kicked outward, it looks like a dog was digging up SUV sized clumps of dirt out of the ground before firing a giant laser at the foxhole from space. Or maybe the pingo pictures are all old and that granular dirt around the edges is seen, pre-weathering, around all pingos.
Still, creepy looking thing.
posted by Slackermagee at 11:35 AM on July 16, 2014
Still, creepy looking thing.
posted by Slackermagee at 11:35 AM on July 16, 2014
In Russia, abyss gazes into you.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:36 AM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:36 AM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
The Russians delved too greedily, and too deep.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:41 AM on July 16, 2014 [21 favorites]
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:41 AM on July 16, 2014 [21 favorites]
Ah but could we not take this hole and apply the same sorts of Information Theory principles that allow us to posit a Holographic Universe and determine at the very least a maximum amount of potential data capacity of the given hole and then use that as the base measure to calculate LOC?
Furthermore, can we calculate LOC *density* in terms of volume of the data substrate (vs what we call ordered information) and then are we only counting what we count as the "content" of the data or the subtrates themselves as being part of that data. Info Theory would count the substrate, but I hazard a guess we're talking the content inscribed on said substrates (books, paintings, etc). Determining the entropy of the data/content vs the organized total substrate "surface area" (without taking into consideration the "meta-organization" (i.e. indexing/arranging the lower level arrangements of data (a book is a container of data, but a shelf is a larger level container, and it is arranged by a given order (I don't think LOC uses Dewey Decimal, do they? IIRC they use some other system).
So I guess I wouldn't worry about meta levels, and try to determine the maximum potential capacity of storage of all the available surface area of the containers in LOC, then divide that by the actual "data" that we perceive as the content stored on such containers/substrates, then apply that ratio to the total information density (or maximum information volume) to determine what we would consider the useable level of LOC data as applied via the Information Theoretic principles based upon surface area and entropy.
posted by symbioid at 11:47 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Furthermore, can we calculate LOC *density* in terms of volume of the data substrate (vs what we call ordered information) and then are we only counting what we count as the "content" of the data or the subtrates themselves as being part of that data. Info Theory would count the substrate, but I hazard a guess we're talking the content inscribed on said substrates (books, paintings, etc). Determining the entropy of the data/content vs the organized total substrate "surface area" (without taking into consideration the "meta-organization" (i.e. indexing/arranging the lower level arrangements of data (a book is a container of data, but a shelf is a larger level container, and it is arranged by a given order (I don't think LOC uses Dewey Decimal, do they? IIRC they use some other system).
So I guess I wouldn't worry about meta levels, and try to determine the maximum potential capacity of storage of all the available surface area of the containers in LOC, then divide that by the actual "data" that we perceive as the content stored on such containers/substrates, then apply that ratio to the total information density (or maximum information volume) to determine what we would consider the useable level of LOC data as applied via the Information Theoretic principles based upon surface area and entropy.
posted by symbioid at 11:47 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
We have barred the crust, but can not hold them for long. We cannot get out. They have taken the Peninsula and the River. Frárski and Lónitin and Náliskovitch fell there. The pool is up to the wall at the Kara Sea. The Husky in the water took Óinski. We cannot get out. The end comes. Accordians, Accordians in the deep. They are coming.
posted by Twain Device at 11:48 AM on July 16, 2014 [14 favorites]
posted by Twain Device at 11:48 AM on July 16, 2014 [14 favorites]
But how many bananas?
We've been over this and over this: a single banana is included in the image for scale, and NOT a count of bananas as the measurement of quantity or volume.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:48 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
We've been over this and over this: a single banana is included in the image for scale, and NOT a count of bananas as the measurement of quantity or volume.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:48 AM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Drop a mortar flare into it. If it's full of methane, there will be a noticeable reaction.
Kinda like rednecks firing tracers at propane tanks on YouTube.
posted by Pudhoho at 11:57 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
Kinda like rednecks firing tracers at propane tanks on YouTube.
posted by Pudhoho at 11:57 AM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
Kaiju. No question. Suit up.
posted by The Bellman at 11:58 AM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by The Bellman at 11:58 AM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
Because of this? Or just sayin?
IDK MAN PROLLY BOTH
Like what if something comes out of that hole. What if it's bears.
posted by elizardbits at 12:01 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
IDK MAN PROLLY BOTH
Like what if something comes out of that hole. What if it's bears.
posted by elizardbits at 12:01 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
"It was just about that time them ol' Duke boys fired up the General Lee and got themselves into a real mess..."
posted by mosk at 12:04 PM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by mosk at 12:04 PM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
What if it's bears.
Is there a Siberian equivalent to Jellystone Park?
posted by Pudhoho at 12:05 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
Is there a Siberian equivalent to Jellystone Park?
posted by Pudhoho at 12:05 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
p sure siberia itself is that thing
In this example Putin is Ranger Smith I guess.
posted by elizardbits at 12:06 PM on July 16, 2014
In this example Putin is Ranger Smith I guess.
posted by elizardbits at 12:06 PM on July 16, 2014
Like what if something comes out of that hole. What if it's bears.
I think you'd be pretty safe unless a second hole opened up in Tennessee or something and the first hole's bears' young came out of that.
posted by aubilenon at 12:14 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think you'd be pretty safe unless a second hole opened up in Tennessee or something and the first hole's bears' young came out of that.
posted by aubilenon at 12:14 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
We've been over this and over this: a single banana is included in the image for scale, and NOT a count of bananas as the measurement of quantity or volume.
Have we? :-/ But I like bananas!
it looks like a dog was digging up SUV sized clumps of dirt out of the ground before firing a giant laser at the foxhole from space.
Now we have gigantic dogs in spacing shooting lasers at us?!?
HIDE THE CATS AND SQUIRRELS
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 12:15 PM on July 16, 2014
Somebody call Carl Spackler. And cue up the Kenny Loggins.
posted by CosmicRayCharles at 12:20 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by CosmicRayCharles at 12:20 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Now that I have demonstrated my power. You have 24 hours to send me 1 million Doge or I will use my space laser to destroy a random city.
posted by humanfont at 12:20 PM on July 16, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by humanfont at 12:20 PM on July 16, 2014 [11 favorites]
it doesn't seem that surprising that there might have been an underground explosion that resulted in a sink-hole-like opening.
Wouldn't that have resulted in someone somewhere noticing it on a seismic monitor? Where are all the satellite pictures of this thing? No registered dust or smoke?
Why isn't anybody paying attention out there?!?!
posted by BlueHorse at 12:21 PM on July 16, 2014
Wouldn't that have resulted in someone somewhere noticing it on a seismic monitor? Where are all the satellite pictures of this thing? No registered dust or smoke?
Why isn't anybody paying attention out there?!?!
posted by BlueHorse at 12:21 PM on July 16, 2014
Why isn't anybody paying attention out there?!?!
World Cup.
posted by Pudhoho at 12:38 PM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
World Cup.
posted by Pudhoho at 12:38 PM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
In this example Putin is Ranger Smith I guess.
Ranger Smith rode around shirtless, on a tiger? How did I miss that?
posted by Pudhoho at 12:41 PM on July 16, 2014
Ranger Smith rode around shirtless, on a tiger? How did I miss that?
posted by Pudhoho at 12:41 PM on July 16, 2014
Kinda like rednecks firing tracers at propane tanks on YouTube.
Or every episode of Sons of Guns.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:41 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Or every episode of Sons of Guns.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:41 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
well, these guys decided to hijack a truck full of coca cola and drive it around the tundra just for the hell of it - it was all fun and games until they crashed into another truck that was full of mentos
posted by pyramid termite at 12:44 PM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by pyramid termite at 12:44 PM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
Now that I have demonstrated my power. You have 24 hours to send me 1 million Doge or I will use my space laser to destroy a random city.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 12:50 PM on July 16, 2014 [8 favorites]
wow
such hole
so lazerposted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 12:50 PM on July 16, 2014 [8 favorites]
not too many people realize it, but when these babies are born they have to blast their way out of the earth to hatch
posted by pyramid termite at 12:56 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by pyramid termite at 12:56 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
[doorbell rings]
Voice behind the door: Candygram!
[and so on]
posted by Fezboy! at 12:57 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Voice behind the door: Candygram!
[and so on]
posted by Fezboy! at 12:57 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
I've never heard of the Siberian Times before. The homepage seems like a mix of business boosterism, tourism promotion, and articles about more terrifying freak acts of nature.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 12:59 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by paper chromatographologist at 12:59 PM on July 16, 2014
There is something weird and surreal about Yamal in general. The Russians named an iconic icebreaker after it. Then Ural named a sidecar motorcycle model after the icebreaker. The weird part is that the Yamal sidecar comes with a paddle. I mean, how deep is the shit you're in if you need a paddle on your sidecar?
posted by workerant at 1:03 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by workerant at 1:03 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
Anyone want to join my apocalyptic biker gang?
Sounds intriguing, but I already have an offer on the table from the zombie hordes. How's your medical/dental?
posted by malocchio at 1:04 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
Sounds intriguing, but I already have an offer on the table from the zombie hordes. How's your medical/dental?
posted by malocchio at 1:04 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
I've never heard of the Siberian Times before. The homepage seems like a mix of business boosterism, tourism promotion, and articles about more terrifying freak acts of nature.
There is also an article about comparative butt height
posted by theodolite at 1:12 PM on July 16, 2014
There is also an article about comparative butt height
posted by theodolite at 1:12 PM on July 16, 2014
Earth Anus,
Earth Anus,
Will you be mine?
My darling dear,
Love you all the time.
I'm just a fool,
A fool in love with you.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:12 PM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
Earth Anus,
Will you be mine?
My darling dear,
Love you all the time.
I'm just a fool,
A fool in love with you.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:12 PM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]
There is also an article about comparative butt height
And drone pizza delivery!
posted by elizardbits at 1:14 PM on July 16, 2014
And drone pizza delivery!
posted by elizardbits at 1:14 PM on July 16, 2014
And a lady who took a helicopter to the beach!
this is the best website
posted by elizardbits at 1:15 PM on July 16, 2014
this is the best website
posted by elizardbits at 1:15 PM on July 16, 2014
I love that the report in The Siberian Times is written by "The Siberian Times Reporter".
posted by wallabear at 1:20 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by wallabear at 1:20 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by theodolite at 1:20 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
those all sound like totally plausible articles though, you will need to be more ridiculous
posted by elizardbits at 1:22 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 1:22 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
I seriously went looking for those articles.
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:23 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:23 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Did you find them? Because I didn't make them up
posted by theodolite at 1:26 PM on July 16, 2014 [12 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 1:26 PM on July 16, 2014 [12 favorites]
oh fuck lolcrying irl
posted by elizardbits at 1:28 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 1:28 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
I've never heard of the Siberian Times before. The homepage seems like a mix of business boosterism, tourism promotion, and articles about more terrifying freak acts of nature.
From their masthead: "'I've grown fat, got a tan & now look like a Siberian.' - Vladimir Lenin, 1897, in Siberian exile."
A few other choice articles from recent weeks:
Granny gives bears their marching orders
Polar bear picnic puts remote Chukotka village under siege
Bikini jog on Lenin Avenue
Below minus 40C? Here's how you stay fashionable
I came just for the mysterious crater, Siberian Times, but I'm subscribing to your Weird & Wonderful RSS feed.
posted by ryanshepard at 1:28 PM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
From their masthead: "'I've grown fat, got a tan & now look like a Siberian.' - Vladimir Lenin, 1897, in Siberian exile."
A few other choice articles from recent weeks:
Granny gives bears their marching orders
Polar bear picnic puts remote Chukotka village under siege
Bikini jog on Lenin Avenue
Below minus 40C? Here's how you stay fashionable
I came just for the mysterious crater, Siberian Times, but I'm subscribing to your Weird & Wonderful RSS feed.
posted by ryanshepard at 1:28 PM on July 16, 2014 [4 favorites]
it is my new homepage
posted by elizardbits at 1:30 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 1:30 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
'March, march away from here immediately' - she shouts as they retreat, adding a Russian swear word for good measure.
'They think they are the masters here,' she complained.
posted by elizardbits at 1:33 PM on July 16, 2014
'They think they are the masters here,' she complained.
posted by elizardbits at 1:33 PM on July 16, 2014
There seems to be a lot of that going around in that area.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:44 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:44 PM on July 16, 2014
natteringnabob: “Anyone want to join my apocalyptic biker gang?”I'm going to have to see the logo first.
theodolite: “anyway the smart money's on experimental geostationary beam weapon”I'm going with Project Thor.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:51 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
Did you find them? Because I didn't make them up
oh my god i can't even
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:08 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
oh my god i can't even
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:08 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]
I feel like the polar bears picnic is worth its own thread but maybe I will just incorporate it into another thread I am pondering posting.
posted by elizardbits at 2:09 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by elizardbits at 2:09 PM on July 16, 2014
"The crater is large enough for several Mi-8 helicopters to fly into it."
The question is: Why haven't they?
Why assume they haven't?
I mean - what do you think this last helicopter was looking for?
posted by IndigoJones at 2:29 PM on July 16, 2014
The question is: Why haven't they?
Why assume they haven't?
I mean - what do you think this last helicopter was looking for?
posted by IndigoJones at 2:29 PM on July 16, 2014
WTF is that audio at the end of the clip? It's very similar to what I heard when coming out of my first and only seizure.
posted by Clustercuss at 2:33 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by Clustercuss at 2:33 PM on July 16, 2014
That football field comment generated an idea: Could we drop people we don't like into the crater? Even if there would be a fee?
posted by Cranberry at 2:40 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by Cranberry at 2:40 PM on July 16, 2014
Could we drop people we don't like into the crater? Even if there would be a fee?
Here are the facts that we know:
- the crater is very remote
- it possibly took people many years to notice it even existed
in conclusion let's do the thing
posted by elizardbits at 2:52 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
Here are the facts that we know:
- the crater is very remote
- it possibly took people many years to notice it even existed
in conclusion let's do the thing
posted by elizardbits at 2:52 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
Completely unrelated: the sound during the slow-motion replay in the video is like some weird techno music.
posted by Potsy at 3:25 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by Potsy at 3:25 PM on July 16, 2014
Ozzie Smith still unaccounted for.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:09 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:09 PM on July 16, 2014
So does anyone know if Sam and Dean are looking into this as yet?
posted by Faintdreams at 5:20 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by Faintdreams at 5:20 PM on July 16, 2014
On hearing about this and the possibility it was caused by natural gas/pingo/thawing permafrost, a friend commented "Earth is squeezing her zits!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:27 PM on July 16, 2014
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:27 PM on July 16, 2014
Kimberlite pipe. Diamonds spewed all around it.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 7:21 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 7:21 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]
That's a pretty big twinkie.
posted by sevensixfive at 9:19 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by sevensixfive at 9:19 PM on July 16, 2014 [3 favorites]
Could be where the worm came from, or someone forgot to close the portal, or this could be where the Tea Partiers came out when they were ejected from the netherworld.
I think it's really cool and refuse to listen to anyone who tries to give this a scientific explanation.
I especially love the fact that it's been there for two years and we didn't even know it.
posted by aryma at 10:09 PM on July 16, 2014
I think it's really cool and refuse to listen to anyone who tries to give this a scientific explanation.
I especially love the fact that it's been there for two years and we didn't even know it.
posted by aryma at 10:09 PM on July 16, 2014
I'm thinking your party should be at least level 15 or so before venturing into that hole.
LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:52 AM on July 17, 2014 [8 favorites]
LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:52 AM on July 17, 2014 [8 favorites]
elizardbits: "p sure siberia itself is that thing
In this example Putin is Ranger Smith I guess."
IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
Medvedev (current Russian Prime Minsister) means Bear in Russian...
It literally means "honey eater"; Now the question is: Is Medvedev Yogi or Boo Boo???
posted by symbioid at 7:48 AM on July 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
In this example Putin is Ranger Smith I guess."
IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
Medvedev (current Russian Prime Minsister) means Bear in Russian...
It literally means "honey eater"; Now the question is: Is Medvedev Yogi or Boo Boo???
posted by symbioid at 7:48 AM on July 17, 2014 [1 favorite]
Scientists have begun to the explore the crater. It has a lake at the bottom.
posted by humanfont at 1:33 PM on July 19, 2014
posted by humanfont at 1:33 PM on July 19, 2014
That video from humanfont's link seems to be at least two or maybe three different holes. When we get the fixed-camera shot at 1:30 or so, the plant growth at the edge suggests what we are looking at is maybe a yard across. And the later shots of standing water at the bottom is curiously well-lit considering it is nominally 70 m deep.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:02 AM on July 20, 2014
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:02 AM on July 20, 2014
Oh, heyyyy, they found two more:
On the upside, I assume Earth looks kinda like a bowling ball now, so that's cool.
posted by argonauta at 5:53 AM on July 29, 2014 [1 favorite]
Experts said: "It is not like this is the work of men, but it also doesn't look like natural formation."Article from the Siberian Times is here.
On the upside, I assume Earth looks kinda like a bowling ball now, so that's cool.
posted by argonauta at 5:53 AM on July 29, 2014 [1 favorite]
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posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:15 AM on July 16, 2014 [7 favorites]