Why do you watch me on the toilet?

October 2, 2014 1:20 PM

My cat's a dick. But he's, like, my dick. SLYT Drunk Dudes Talk About Their Cats.
posted by kinnakeet (27 comments total)

Every time I get drunk, I talk about how much I love my cat, because the truest form of myself is talking about how fucking awesome my asshole cat is.
posted by Nimmie Amee at 1:34 PM on October 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

What annoys me about my cat is when he nurses on my eye.
posted by The Gooch at 1:36 PM on October 2, 2014 [14 favorites]

It sort of weirds me out how the same people are in all these Buzzfeed videos. Like at this point they're pretty much professional video-be-inners, and it sort of detracts from the overall effect for me.
posted by threeants at 1:41 PM on October 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

don't let your cat into the bathroom when you're pooping. "THIS IS MY LITTERBOX!"
posted by bruce at 1:42 PM on October 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Someone page Greg Nog I found the role he was born for.
posted by The Whelk at 1:49 PM on October 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

All I want from Buzzfeed is a "Dear Kitten" sequel. That's all I'm asking for.
posted by longdaysjourney at 1:50 PM on October 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

They're wondering what the hell you're doing to their water bowl.
posted by The Whelk at 2:01 PM on October 2, 2014 [10 favorites]

It doesn't seem like these dudes are saying anything about their cats they wouldn't say sober. DRINK MOAR.

(Or do, like, a ton of whip-its. 'Cuz then the cat insights would get REALLY good.)
posted by argonauta at 2:06 PM on October 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

(BRB, I'm going to go do, like, a ton of whip-its and will see if it indeed makes these dudes provide better cat insights.)
posted by argonauta at 2:11 PM on October 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

I think I noticed that none of those guys had wedding rings on.
I think that I know why.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 2:24 PM on October 2, 2014

they're married to each other duh
posted by The Whelk at 2:26 PM on October 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

It sort of weirds me out how the same people are in all these Buzzfeed videos. Like at this point they're pretty much professional video-be-inners, and it sort of detracts from the overall effect for me.

I think they mostly work at Buzzfeed.
posted by sweetkid at 2:35 PM on October 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I get that, it's just sort of weird and sort of messes up the whole slice of life/"person on the street" thing that would seem to be the point of this type of video.
posted by threeants at 2:36 PM on October 2, 2014

Did you know that cats pass on a parasite that makes everyone turn into a Buzzfeed employee?
posted by Nevin at 2:47 PM on October 2, 2014 [13 favorites]

Sweet Buzzfeed employees don't have quotas.
posted by The Whelk at 3:06 PM on October 2, 2014

My cat is exactly like my college roommate minus the empty pizza boxes, seven-foot Graffix bong, and Frank Zappa obsession. Mostly we just kind of tolerate each other, but every now and then he rolls around on the floor until I scratch his tummy and we're cool.
posted by echocollate at 4:01 PM on October 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

sometimes when i get drunk and come home i lay on the floor by my bed and talk to my cat and pet her and... this is how i've woken up at 4am passed out on my floor with a crick in my neck.
posted by cristinacristinacristina at 4:55 PM on October 2, 2014

Related?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:05 PM on October 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

My current cat is a total sweetheart, to the point that my girlfriend's daughter can snuggle and pet and lay on him and you can see he's so fucking pissed off but he just meows and doesn't do anything. My old dead cat would have seriously maimed her after about 3 seconds of this, like hospital maimed. He was named Fiskars, after the scissors. Guess which one's my favorite. (Nothing to do with the daughter, she's awesome.)
posted by Huck500 at 5:13 PM on October 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

I think I noticed that none of those guys had wedding rings on.
I think that I know why.

Because their genitalia have been replaced with felines? Am I reading this title correctly?
posted by atoxyl at 5:19 PM on October 2, 2014

Your dick is a pussy?
posted by jonmc at 5:37 PM on October 2, 2014

I am a self-identified cat gentleman who probably spends five minutes a day telling my cat what a good cat he is and these dudes even embarass *me*.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 5:47 PM on October 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Is the usual cat thing where they know when something is more important to their owner than the cat (here, taking a shit).

I suspect that it's that they know they'll have a totally captive audience for at least a few minutes.
posted by radwolf76 at 7:33 PM on October 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

The shitting thing is indeed weird. Are they protecting their human during the human's defecation?

They're poopervising.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:52 PM on October 2, 2014 [7 favorites]

What's weirder is that these people don't have doors in their bathrooms.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:20 AM on October 3, 2014

Cats, uh, find a way.
posted by Jacqueline at 1:57 AM on October 3, 2014

I don't think these guys are, you know, sufficiently drunk.
posted by Anything at 12:27 PM on October 3, 2014