Still No Howard the Duck

October 28, 2014 12:03 PM

Marvel reveals yet more superhero-laden movies in the pipe for the next 5 years. "And let's acknowledge that between Marvel, DC, Sony and Fox there are now 29 comic book movies coming out between now and 2020"

2:51 Patrick Cavanaugh:
Question about both Hawkeye and Howard the Duck and possibly Phase Four

2:52 Patrick Cavanaugh:
Feige doesn't want to talk specifically about any of those characters or films or who will be in what movies, so "let the rumors continue"

posted by saintjoe (591 comments total)

Oh man ten new DC movies? There's a chance one of them might have humor and fun in it! I'm as excited as I've ever been!

Also pardon me while I make an air-jerking-off motion at Cumberbatch's casting as Dr. Strange.
posted by griphus at 12:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [14 favorites]

DC isn't producing its films, that's Warner Bros., Right?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:06 PM on October 28, 2014

Cumberbatch isn't confirmed yet. Can we talk about CAROL DANVERS?! And Black Panther!!!
posted by skycrashesdown at 12:07 PM on October 28, 2014 [19 favorites]

ENOUGH ALREADY
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 12:07 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

All of the squeeeing in the world is not enough
posted by the painkiller at 12:08 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Dangit! Here, have my half-written-up FPP, posted too late:

Today at a surprise invite-only press event, Marvel Studios announced its Marvel Cinematic Universe movie release lineup through 2019. Let the geek freakout begin!

The Nerdist event liveblog. Newsarama liveblog.


May 6, 2016: Captain America 3: Serpent Society Captain America 3: Civil War
November 4, 2016: Doctor Strange (Cumberbatch is NOT officially cast as Strange...yet.)
May 5, 2017: Guardians of the Galaxy 2
July 28, 2017: Thor 3: Ragnarok
Nov. 3, 2017: Black Panther starring Chadwick Boseman as T'Challa, the MCU's first black titular hero
July 6, 2018: Captain Marvel AKA Carol Danvers, the MCU's first woman titular hero
November 2, 2018: Inhumans
May 4, 2018: Avengers 3: Infinity War Part I
May 3, 2019: Avengers 3: Infinity War Part II
posted by nicebookrack at 12:09 PM on October 28, 2014 [13 favorites]

I can't be the only MeFite excited by this, right?
posted by skycrashesdown at 12:09 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

A lot of people are going to say that this is a bad thing in this thread, but I think it's not necessarily comic-films fault that there are no movies about adults doing normal stuff anymore.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:10 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

I can't be the only MeFite excited by this, right?

I am super, super-excited about the Marvel films. The MCU is probably the best thing that has happened to superhero comics in 30 years.
posted by griphus at 12:11 PM on October 28, 2014 [22 favorites]

Boseman as the Black Panther is a great pick. Hope an equally great pick is made for Captain Marvel.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:11 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...scared about Civil War!
posted by nicebookrack at 12:13 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

DC isn't producing its films, that's Warner Bros., Right?

DC never produce its own movies because it's been part of Time Warner for decades. It always had a parent studio to make its properties into films.
posted by Sangermaine at 12:14 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

If this doesn't eventually result in a GWAR Vs. the Avengers film, all of this has been for naught.
posted by delfin at 12:15 PM on October 28, 2014 [9 favorites]

I'm curious how Civil War will play out. There's only a handful of characters right now so you can't really get the "community tearing itself apart" feel of the comic story.
posted by Sangermaine at 12:15 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Still no Black Widow movie ?
posted by Pendragon at 12:16 PM on October 28, 2014 [21 favorites]

Civil War is totally going to be Tony & Steve's Giant Messy Breakup (they haven't been together long enough for it to be the Tearful Divorce it was of the comics). They will fight over friend-custody of Bruce Banner / The Hulk.

I WILL CRY A LOT.
posted by nicebookrack at 12:17 PM on October 28, 2014 [18 favorites]

A lot of people are going to say that this is a bad thing in this thread, but I think it's not necessarily comic-films fault that there are no movies about adults doing normal stuff anymore.

How so? You can show only one movie in a theater at a time. If you have a comic book movie booked in a theater, that is theater time that is, by definition, not booked for movies about adults doing normal stuff. Theaters are finite resource, and there are massive opportunity costs for not booking the maximally profitable movie.
posted by jonp72 at 12:18 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

They will fight over friend-custody of Bruce Banner / The Hulk.
They can shoot the Hulk into space for all I care.
posted by Pendragon at 12:18 PM on October 28, 2014 [29 favorites]

Yeah the Civil War thing is almost definitely going to be a "loosely based on" sort of deal, probably heavily entangled with whatever is happening in Agents of SHIELD and the "gifted" population which does not at this point seem to be a community of any sort and just a bunch of people in places.

But hey at least Bucky's future is looking bright, and he'll be there to hold Steve after the abovementioned breakup with Tony.

The fact that Winter Soldier made Steve/Bucky de facto canon was one of the best things in that movie.
posted by griphus at 12:19 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

Hope an equally great pick is made for Captain Marvel.

For REAL. I am familiar enough with but don't really follow comic books (still holding out for a big budget Fish Police), so much of the reason I see some of these movies (and not others) is based on helming/casting choices.
posted by troika at 12:19 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Infinity War? Isn't that a bit on the nose?
posted by yoink at 12:19 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Luckily, physical movie theaters are not the only avenue for filmmakers to reach audiences anymore! See also: Netflix's deal with Marvel for the forthcoming Daredevil / Defenders etc. TV series.
posted by nicebookrack at 12:20 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

If you have a comic book movie booked in a theater, that is theater time that is, by definition, not booked for movies about adults doing normal stuff.

The space in the Hollywood genre hierarchy held by superhero films right now has never, as far as I am aware, been held by those sorts of movies.
posted by griphus at 12:20 PM on October 28, 2014 [9 favorites]

It's like popular culture has just spent the last 60 years pandering to teenagers.
posted by saintjoe at 12:20 PM on October 28, 2014 [8 favorites]

Black widow solo film: Feige says the reason it hasn't happened because she's so good working with the Avengers and says that the Hulk is, at the moment, the same way

So no solo films for either.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:20 PM on October 28, 2014

Oh man! Casting Jessica Walter as Elderly Catwoman is just brilliant. Steve Buschemi will add just the hint of vulnerability that the Superman character needs. And Peter Dinklage as Ziggy!
posted by oulipian at 12:22 PM on October 28, 2014 [11 favorites]

Infinity War? Isn't that a bit on the nose?

"Fine, Dick, have it your way. We'll just call it the War on Terror."
posted by PlusDistance at 12:22 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

So no solo films for either.

Boo!!!
posted by Pendragon at 12:22 PM on October 28, 2014

This just makes the virtual silence from Sony regarding the new Fantastic Four movie so distressing. The MCU is expanding and building great crossover storylines just like the comics have for decades, while the property that has always felt like the foundation of the entire Marvel universe is either ignored or ridiculed (and neither option is unjustified, sadly). Two of the films announced today STARTED in the F4 comics.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 12:23 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

There's only a handful of characters right now so you can't really get the "community tearing itself apart" feel of the comic story.

Yeah, Disney is working on that.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:24 PM on October 28, 2014

Civil War yes Black Widow no I hate everything
posted by Snarl Furillo at 12:24 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

No Reid Fleming?

Harumph. Then I'm not interested.
posted by sourwookie at 12:24 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Theaters are finite resource

I'll have to remember that next time I'm at one of the five 15+screen megaplexes within a 20 minute drive of my house.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 12:24 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Dear Marvel:

Hi remember me I wrote a She-Hulk What if a few years ago? It was funny and I was on-time and everything?

Can I be movies?

Thanks,

-JL
posted by The Whelk at 12:24 PM on October 28, 2014 [22 favorites]

Captain Marvel? Black Panther? Has the internet exploded?
posted by Artw at 12:25 PM on October 28, 2014

I suspect they will play up Natasha/Bruce as a romantic (or maaaybe buddy) pairing in Age of Ultron to test the waters for a Hulk + Black Widow movie. "If they can't carry a movie on their own..."
posted by nicebookrack at 12:25 PM on October 28, 2014

Captain Marvel? Black Panther? Has the internet exploded?

Bad news is they're both going to be played by Matthew McConaughey.
posted by griphus at 12:25 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

I'm so...scared about Civil War!

Marvel Phase 3: You SAID you wanted out of contract RIGHT
posted by The Whelk at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2014 [8 favorites]

Honestly I can't think of any actress who could dampen my excitement for Captain Marvel. Literally every name people suggest makes me go HOLY SHIT THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
posted by almostmanda at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

there are no movies about adults doing normal stuff anymore.

I just learned from EW that Frodo made a movie with Sasha Grey earlier this year.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh my god. Yay KSD!
posted by rewil at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2014

>Cumberbatch's casting as Dr. Strange.

Oh no... I wanted the Keanu Reeves rumors to be true.
posted by anti social order at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2014

Yeah I think part of Civil War will be to shuffle off some of the actors who want out, and I bet Sam/Falcon takes Steve's place as Cap, which would be amazing.
posted by skycrashesdown at 12:28 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Lockjaw.
posted by mikelieman at 12:28 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

Kevin Feige, head of Marvel's movie production company, confirms that CIVIL WAR will be global superhuman registration with a specific inciting incident.
-from the comingsoon.net livenlog of the event
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:28 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm dying to see who/if they cast as Shuri, T'Challa's sister and the first female Black Panther.
posted by nicebookrack at 12:29 PM on October 28, 2014

Interest in superhero and comic-book related properties seems to come in waves.

I remember around mid-1992, early-1993, when Marvel and DC were quickly pushing recently introduced characters into their own monthlies, to get people to buy into the #1 issue hype that rose out of success enjoyed by indie/alternative comics in the early 90s (TMNT, Cerebus, etc.). The big two also put out the First Issue! in multiple collectible covers, to push sales.

That bubble burst quickly — a number of comic book shops went under, because they were forced to buy a lot of stock no one wanted.

It's pretty smart of the movie companies to get their superhero projects pushed through the current bubble, before the inevitable backlash — and it will come.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 12:29 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Infinity War? Isn't that a bit on the nose?

It's the name of the sequel series to Infinity Gauntlet. I guess they didn't like "Infinity Gauntlet".
posted by Sangermaine at 12:29 PM on October 28, 2014

Bad news is they're both going to be played by Matthew McConaughey.

"I've been dressing as a buxom blonde in tight spandex since long before anybody paid me to..."
posted by delfin at 12:29 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

I would much rather see a Captain Marvel, Black Panther, or Doctor Strange movie than a Black Widow movie or yet another Hulk movie.

I'm not excited about either a Civil War or Ragnarok storyline (I'd like to see a Thor movie where he spends more time being a hero in Midgard), but I'm cautiously optimistic about Joss Whedon giving us a good Avengers vs. The Nice Guy Friendzoned By Death story.
posted by straight at 12:30 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

"What the fuck is a gauntlet?", cried the test audience in unison.
posted by mikelieman at 12:30 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Hope an equally great pick is made for Captain Marvel.

It's too bad Bruce Campbell is a bit too old. He's got the chin and the cheese.
posted by bonehead at 12:30 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

The Nice Guy Friendzoned By Death story.

Seriously. It should be the Infinity Fedora.
posted by Sangermaine at 12:31 PM on October 28, 2014 [16 favorites]

That, and Dwyane "the Rock" Johnson is already confirmed for Black Adam.
posted by bonehead at 12:32 PM on October 28, 2014

It's too bad Bruce Campbell is a bit too old. He's got the chin and the cheese.

Nah, it's one of the other Captains Marvel.
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 12:32 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, you can get a compelling superhero registration story without the secret identity angle. Having a bunch of superpowered beings start appearing globally is going to freak out any number of governments, and they'd want them tracked, monitored, and controlled as much as possible. Right there you've got a huge civil liberties abuse, without even getting into the concern for revealed secret identities putting loved ones in danger.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 12:34 PM on October 28, 2014

I would rather see a movie featuring a dr strange finger puppet on some old hobo's toe than have to see poodlepoop poopeldoop in another goddamn film.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:34 PM on October 28, 2014 [11 favorites]

bET put out an animated Black Panther series a while back
posted by The Whelk at 12:34 PM on October 28, 2014

We're also getting MORE PEGGY CARTER, PEGGY CARTER AND MACHINE GUNNS BFFS FOREVER
posted by The Whelk at 12:34 PM on October 28, 2014 [11 favorites]

(I may have been making a bad joke).
posted by bonehead at 12:34 PM on October 28, 2014

All I know is that marathon viewings of the Marvel/DC superfilms are going to get ridiculous. People are going to die.
posted by Therapeutic Amputations at 12:35 PM on October 28, 2014 [11 favorites]

Note they didn't say anything about their TV offerings. If the Netflix Defenders series does well, I can definitely see a Black Widow limited series in the offing if Scarlett's amenable.

Agents of SHIELD is plugging along doing its own thing, and I'm almost positive that both the lead-up to Inhumans and the "inciting event" that leads to registration will come out of AoS right now.
posted by nicebookrack at 12:35 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Can we maybe get a cable or Netflix TV show based on Fantastic Faux or X-Statix while there's all this money being tossed around?
posted by griphus at 12:35 PM on October 28, 2014

Civil War: booo!
Dr. Strange: still excited, with or without Bandersnatch Cummerbund!
Captain Marvel: yaaaaaaaaay! (...although a Kamala Khan Ms. Marvel would also rock my world).

Now, what about the Runaways?
posted by Foosnark at 12:36 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

We can do a Netflix Hulk series with a dubstep remix of "The Lonely Man!"
posted by nicebookrack at 12:36 PM on October 28, 2014

Ha. Sorry bonehead. The Captain Marvel thing is a subject where my pedantry gets the better of me.
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 12:36 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Now, what about the Runaways?

Christmas following The Whelk's She-Hulk Thanksgiving Movie.
posted by mikelieman at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

there are no movies about adults doing normal stuff anymore.

I just saw a movie with Keira Knightly doing normal stuff in Seattle. It was weird.
posted by Artw at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2014

X-Statix

'X-Factor'. TOTALLY Not The Other Guys....
posted by mikelieman at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2014

The Runaways came up in the q&a and Feige confirmed they have a script and lots of discussions about'em when comes to film and TV, but nothing to announce.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

a dr strange finger puppet on some old hobo's toe

WHAT IF: Kenneth Anger had joined the Mighty Marvel Bullpen?
posted by octobersurprise at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

She-Hulk Thanksgiving

Aghhhhh this has the exact same cadence as "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" and now you're all infected too.
posted by griphus at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2014 [17 favorites]

a dr strange finger puppet on some old hobo's toe

a Peter Jackson joint
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'd rather they left Runaways in development than fuck it up...
posted by mikelieman at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2014

Honestly I can't think of any actress who could dampen my excitement for Captain Marvel. Literally every name people suggest makes me go HOLY SHIT THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.

Lena Dunham?
posted by Grangousier at 12:39 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

So the inciting events will be in Age Of Ultron which sets off the events of Civil War which will most likely clear out some of the ranks and switch our focus away from Earth and towards the acoustic end of the MCU? (I kinda figured even the Kirby love the series has we'd eventually spend more time in the Cosmic part of the story-world, and the massive success of Thor and GoTG seems to guarantee that.)
posted by The Whelk at 12:39 PM on October 28, 2014

Also yeah, fuck that casting Dr. Strange is the only beatnik super hero this is ruin everything.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:40 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Christmas following The Whelk's She-Hulk Thanksgiving Movie

I can have a treatment on your desk by Monday
posted by The Whelk at 12:41 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

When will they scrape the bottom of the barrel hard enough that I can see a Trashman or Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers film? The answer is never.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:41 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Movies cost like $20 now. For $20 I want to see fucking massive space explosions, or zombies, or giant fucking robots, or giant fucking robots fighting zombies with massive explosions in space, in IMAX 3D, not a bunch of whiny middleclass middleaged people talking about their feelings. I don't care about your feelings unless your feelings are about how fucking awesome space robot zombie explosions are.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:42 PM on October 28, 2014 [71 favorites]

Back in the other thread I was moaning that Raul Esparza could've nailed Strange.
posted by The Whelk at 12:42 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

New York got pretty messed up in Avengers (how did they clean those giant aliens atop the buildings) so goverments wanting to control super beings makes sense.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:42 PM on October 28, 2014

Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers film

Half-Baked is the closest you're going to get, IMO.
posted by griphus at 12:42 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Steve, T'Challa, and Tony hanging out
posted by nicebookrack at 12:42 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I still suspect that a bad case of the bat-nipples has the potential to derail a good chunk of the roadmap for both studios. DC seems to be doing better in TVland right now.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 12:43 PM on October 28, 2014

The fact that Winter Soldier made Steve/Bucky de facto canon was one of the best things in that movie.

Were we watching the same movie? I need details for obsessive re-viewing!
posted by corb at 12:43 PM on October 28, 2014

This just makes the virtual silence from Sony regarding the new Fantastic Four movie so distressing.

That's probably because the FF reboot movie is actually being made by 20th Century Fox. Not that they're being terribly forthcoming about it, either...

To my knowledge, the only Marvel property that Sony still has their grubby paws on is Spider-Man, although Sony's long-terms plans for a "Spidey-verse" are collapsing like a wayward Thanksgiving day parade balloon.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:43 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Honestly I can't think of any actress who could dampen my excitement for Captain Marvel. Literally every name people suggest makes me go HOLY SHIT THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.

Lena Dunham?

I was gonna say Madonna but you win this round.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:44 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Movies cost like $20 now.

Where i live mantinees are $5.50, regular price is $11 and imax is $17.50
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:44 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Katee Sackhoff put up some teaser images awhile back that seemed to indicate that she would be Captain Marvel, but then explicitly said whatever she was teasing was not going to be a Marvel project, so who knows.

I don't get the anger about Cumberbatch. I get that it's an obvious choice and there are more interesting ones out there (I was one of many wanting Idris Elba or Tilda Swinton to play Constantine, for example), but it is an obvious choice and bankable, and it's not like motherfucker doesn't have the chops for the part.
posted by middleclasstool at 12:45 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

You guys are nuts, Lena Dunham is obviously Janet van Dyne.
posted by escabeche at 12:45 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

I need details for obsessive re-viewing!

The end of their big fight scene and also the very last scene. Those men are in love and it is beautiful.
posted by griphus at 12:45 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Foosnark: Captain Marvel needs a first movie so that Kamala can be a Carol fangirl in the sequel! MARVEL TEAM-UP!
posted by nicebookrack at 12:45 PM on October 28, 2014 [9 favorites]

MarvelFilter: fucking awesome space robot zombie explosions
posted by Foosnark at 12:46 PM on October 28, 2014

Heh.
posted by Artw at 12:47 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I can have a treatment on your desk by Monday

INT. JENNIFER'S APARTMENT - DAY

four hundred pages later...
posted by mikelieman at 12:47 PM on October 28, 2014

Right there you've got a huge civil liberties abuse

You mean a completely sane reaction by any government to the presence of super-powered beings. Unlike black or gay people, a kid that can level a city block with a thought is a legitimate public safety risk. The "civil liberties" angle never made any sense because, aside from the foregoing public safety problem, you don't have the right to put on a mask and beat the shit out of people.
posted by Sangermaine at 12:47 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

(how did they clean those giant aliens atop the buildings

Stark bought out all the reconstruction companies so they could use repulsor technology to aid clean up without giving out company secrets is how I figured it worked in my head.
posted by The Whelk at 12:48 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I picture Doctor Strange as being played by a young John Malkovich.
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:48 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Nicole Beharie as Captain Marvel !!!
posted by Pendragon at 12:49 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

Cumberbatch's casting as Dr. Strange.

Aw, I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent here and say I think he'll do a good job (although that sketch mock-up that's floating around makes me laugh out loud every time I see it).

Honestly, as overexposed as he is, he's still a pretty damn good actor and he has a ton of range. If you only know him from Sherlock tumblr gifsets, or that godawful Star Trek movie, or you dislike him because of the SuperWhoLock stuff, it might be worth giving him a chance as an actor. I think The Imitation Game (that Alan Turing movie he's starring in) might change a few peoples' minds about his acting abilities, if not his overexposure.
posted by dialetheia at 12:49 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

My beef is that they keep on making these announcements and there keeps on not being any Alpha Flight.
posted by escabeche at 12:49 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Huh, i figured they had a giant BBQ in celebration.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:50 PM on October 28, 2014

Dear Marvel I have acting range I can be a vaguely gay panicking scientist, vaguely gay snippy librarian, vaguely gay screaming victim, and any number of vaguely gay comic relief characters.
posted by The Whelk at 12:50 PM on October 28, 2014 [12 favorites]

Black widow solo film: Feige says the reason it hasn't happened because she's so good working with the Avengers and says that the Hulk is, at the moment, the same way

Such a load of crap, if she can follow Cap around for a whole movie playing second fiddle and it still gets called "Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier", they could certainly get him or Hawkeye or somebody to follow her around playing second fiddle for a whole movie and call it "Black Widow: Something Something Subtitle". Yer just too chickenshit, Marvel.

Also, Oded Fehr still needs to be Dr. Strange. Benedict Cumberbatch does not. The fact that they went from Joaquin Phoenix (whether you love him or hate him, the guy clearly picks work that really interests him as an actor) to Cumberbatch, who (as Star Trek: Into Darkness proved) is not quite so discriminating about what work he chooses, makes me very concerned for the quality of the Dr. Strange script.

Civil War is going to annoy me, for reasons which have been covered eloquently by mightygodking.

On the up side, Captain Marvel! And Chadwick Boseman seems like a solid pick for Black Panther, though the list of actors that IMO would've been awesome in that role is long indeed.
posted by mstokes650 at 12:51 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

Could we please have more comic book movies like "Sin City" and "Watchmen" and fewer comic book abortions like "The Wolverine"?

Also, I wish I understood why I'm one of the few people who gave "The Wolverine" 1 star, but gave 4 stars to "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"? I did the same with G.I.Joe. I gave "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" 4 stars and "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" 1 star. Yet most people either hated both or loved both. I must be getting old.
posted by HappyEngineer at 12:52 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

If you have a comic book movie booked in a theater, that is theater time that is, by definition, not booked for movies about adults doing normal stuff.

The real threat to "movies about adults", at least in my two-theater town, isn't superhero films but those garbage Christian movies that are getting churned out every other week. Until a couple years ago, one of the theaters in my town would have a couple showings a day of whatever the big mainstream-leaning indie movie of the moment was.

But we don't get those any more, because I suppose it's more profitable to bus in church groups for Kirk Cameron's latest fever dream.
posted by Ian A.T. at 12:52 PM on October 28, 2014

Sergio Aragonés' Groo the Wanderer. And this is the part where I say "Shut up and take my money."
posted by mikelieman at 12:52 PM on October 28, 2014 [13 favorites]

The UK film industry should really follow suit and get some big-budget Oor Wullie and Minnie the Minx franchises going.

(Hmm, Dan Dare might actually work come to think of it...)
posted by sobarel at 12:52 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

(also the She Hulk short I wrote is in here)
posted by The Whelk at 12:52 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

As a staunch DC fan, I feel very outgroupped on MetaFilter when these weekly rah-rah MCU threads pop up. I'll be over here fantasy-casting the Aquaman movie that will never fucking happen if anybody needs me, thank you very much.

Peter Mensah as Black Manta and who cares as Aquaman, if you must know
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:53 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

how did they clean those giant aliens atop the buildings

Stark bought out all the reconstruction companies so they could use repulsor technology to aid clean up without giving out company secrets is how I figured it worked in my head.

2019: Damage Control - the movie!

(I... would totally watch that actually.)
posted by skycrashesdown at 12:53 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Aw, I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent here and say I think he'll do a good job...

Speaking only for myself, I don't think he'll fuck it up. But it's definitely going to be difficult to watch the movie and think of it as anything more than Fancy Costume Magic Sherlock rather than Doctor Strange, Sorceror Supreme. Most of the other castings for Marvel films have been either "who?" or "him/her? Really?" and this one is so on the nose it's boring. Like I can picture all the facial expressions and intonations in my head already.
posted by griphus at 12:53 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

There is basically no way to read the Steve/Bucky relationship in Winter Soldier except as Tragic Romance. Til the end of the line, til death do us part.
posted by nicebookrack at 12:53 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

Crap, Strange Interlude, you're right. It's Fox screwing up F4, and Sony screwing up Spidey. Fox has done an overall good job with the X-Men franchise, though, so they're not totally incompetent.

...you don't have the right to put on a mask and beat the shit out of people

True, but suddenly gaining superpowers doesn't mean you automatically start beating us people. Just because someone is strong, or fast, or capable of superhuman feats doesn't mean they need to be locked up right away. Due process, innocent until proven guilty, free association, life, liberty, pursuit of happiness...

And thus the Civil War lines are drawn... oh, Marvel, you've managed to infiltrate MF.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 12:53 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

I'll be over here fantasy-casting the Aquaman movie that will never fucking happen if anybody needs me, thank you very much.

Didn't they just cast Jason Momoa as Aquaman in somethingorother?
posted by griphus at 12:53 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Oh man ten new DC movies?

I will give a million dollars to every charity on Earth if all ten of those get made.
posted by Ian A.T. at 12:54 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Benedict Cumberbatch is a fine actor, who comes from a family of actors, so I expect the first thing he was taught, possibly before potty training, was that if your agent calls with a job, you don't say no.

Personally, I'm looking forward to the final episode of Cabin Pressure this christmas (also exchanging thoughts online about a Cabin Pressure / Dr Who crossover - as someone said, there are an infinite number of places to hide a bottle of Talisker on a Tardis.)
posted by Grangousier at 12:54 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I could not care less about a Civil War movie. It was a bad comic on a bad foundation that's being made by people whose last movie I didn't care for at all, although most of the rest of humanity seemed to so good for them.

Everything else, though, is somewhere on the spectrum from "anxious anticipation with a hefty dollop of realism" (Ant-Man) to "HOLY SHIT GIMME GIMME GIMME" (Captain Marvel, Infinity War, Captain Marvel).
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:54 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I will give a million dollars to every charity on Earth if all ten of those get made.

Probably more than they'll make at the box office.
posted by Grangousier at 12:54 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

As a staunch DC fan, I feel very outgroupped on MetaFilter when these weekly rah-rah MCU threads pop up. I'll be over here fantasy-casting the Aquaman movie that will never fucking happen if anybody needs me, thank you very much.

Peter Mensah as Black Manta and who cares as Aquaman, if you must know

You realize there actually is an Aquaman movie coming out, right?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:54 PM on October 28, 2014

Yeah, Aquaman is already slated for 2018 with Jason Momoa. You're covered.
posted by jdherg at 12:55 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

She-Hulk Thanksgiving
Eating, drama
Girls becoming hulks
Hulks becoming .. wolves?
posted by bleep at 12:55 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

She-Hulk Thanksgiving
Eating, bouncing
Girls becoming Hulks
Hulks becoming counsel.
posted by griphus at 12:56 PM on October 28, 2014 [13 favorites]

Forth-walls being broken! SHE HULK THANKSGIVING

2019: Damage Control - the movie!

(I... would totally watch that actually.)


this ...this would work with my idea for a Better Off Ted-style superhero office comdey
posted by The Whelk at 12:57 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

Yeah, I enjoyed this extremely honest discussion with Jason Momoa about the Aquaman movie.
posted by mstokes650 at 12:57 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I think The Imitation Game (that Alan Turing movie he's starring in) might change a few peoples' minds about his acting abilities, if not his overexposure.

I just don't want to have to see his hideous reptilian visage in IMAX 3D. I will solve this problem by bringing a paper cutout of someone else's head on a straw and hold it up every time he is on screen I guess.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:57 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

DC seems to be doing better in TVland right now.

That's purely a case of volume over quality. Right now, DC has two confirmed good TV shows with Arrow and The Flash; Gotham is currently a high-rated turd, and who knows yet about Constantine. The (still purely theoretical) DC Cinematic Universe of Batman v. Superman, Justice League, et al actually stands to contradict/overwrite all of the TV stuff since they're going with a separate "multiverse" for films vs. TV.

Meanwhile, Marvel is humming along with a dramatically (in all senses of the word) improved Agents of SHIELD, and we're waiting on four separate miniseries over on Netflix next year. I'll concede a temporary 2-to-1 advantage to DC for the moment, but it could easily tilt back to Marvel depending on the quality of the Netflix shows and the long-term sustainability of the DC programs that aren't on the CW.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:58 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Why not a She-Hulk legal comedy?
posted by Sangermaine at 1:00 PM on October 28, 2014 [11 favorites]

I'm curious how Civil War will play out.

Given that the MCU and the MTVU are integrated, I'm guessing the movie will focus on transparency, and AoS will focus on the Registration Act consequences of that.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:00 PM on October 28, 2014

Are Arrow/Flash and Smallville in the same continuity?
posted by griphus at 1:00 PM on October 28, 2014

Yeah, Aquaman is already slated for 2018 with Jason Momoa. You're covered.

where do i sign up to be covered with jason momoa
posted by poffin boffin at 1:01 PM on October 28, 2014 [24 favorites]

If I can't have a Hawkeye TV show with Lucky the Pizza Dog, please give me a Captain Marvel movie with Chewie the Flerkin Cat!
posted by nicebookrack at 1:01 PM on October 28, 2014 [9 favorites]

doesn't mean they need to be locked up right away.

That was one of the (many) things wrong with Civil War. They were unclear and inconsistent as to what the Act did. It seemed to range from just registering people with powers to rounding everyone up and impressing them into government service depending on the writer. They really should have laid out the ground rules before they launched the event.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:01 PM on October 28, 2014

The She-Hulk movie can be all things. The problem is editing it down....

Or... Sell it to HBO or AMC? AMC... That Zombie thing's going to get stale...
posted by mikelieman at 1:01 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

>Katee Sackhoff ... Captain Marvel

That... would be pretty good actually.

>Captain Marvel needs a first movie so that Kamala can be a Carol fangirl in the sequel!

All of my money. Take it. If they do this right, it'd be a more popular duo than batman and robin.

>Cumberbatch's casting as Dr. Strange.

I predict him dealing with supernatural horrors will look exactly like the scenery chewing in that bad star trek and not in a good Dr Orpheus way. also he looks too much like kif from futurama.
posted by anti social order at 1:02 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

YES. In my ideal world She Hulk is a legal drama/comedy on tv with periodic appearances from other super heroes. The Whelk can write it.
posted by skycrashesdown at 1:02 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

They were unclear and inconsistent as to what the Act did. It seemed to range from just registering people with powers to rounding everyone up and impressing them into government service depending on the writer.

I think it was "register people, UNLESS THEY RESIST then round them up."
posted by corb at 1:02 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Shhhhhh, sorry honey. Sometimes God says "no." Um, many many times.
posted by rahnefan at 1:02 PM on October 28, 2014

> "July 6, 2018: Captain Marvel AKA Carol Danvers, the MCU's first woman titular hero"

I AM SO EXCITED I AM NOT NORMALLY A FAN-TYPE PERSON BUT THE ERA I WAS READING SUPERHERO COMICS WAS WHEN CHRIS CLAREMONT WROTE HER KICKING THE BROOD'S ASS AND TELLING OFF THE AVENGERS FOR BEING SEXIST CREEPS CAROL DANVERS WOOOO

> "Honestly I can't think of any actress who could dampen my excitement for Captain Marvel. Literally every name people suggest makes me go HOLY SHIT THAT WOULD BE AWESOME."

Kristin Stewart?
posted by kyrademon at 1:03 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

The Whelk is on p. 50...
posted by mikelieman at 1:03 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Meanwhile, Marvel is humming along with a dramatically (in all senses of the word) improved Agents of SHIELD, and we're waiting on four separate miniseries over on Netflix next year.

Is it really better? I couldn't get through the first season because it was insultingly bad.

CIVIL WAR: A good screenwriter could make it work, especially since cinematic rights to the plot cancer at the heart of it were sold off to Fox, along with the inexplicably smart/stupid of Reed Richards' role in it.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 1:03 PM on October 28, 2014

I'll be over here fantasy-casting the Aquaman movie that will never fucking happen if anybody needs me, thank you very much.

Go talk to some fish.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

*Sigh*

I would actually be far more enthusiastic about Captain America: Serpent Society than I'm about Civil War. That was a turd of a storyline in the comics and though the movies will quite likely do it better, seeing Cap, the ultimate FDR Democrat, take on an union of supervillains originally set up to protect themselves from Reaganomics, would've ruled sooo much.

Not in the least for my man Mark Gruenwald, the best writer Cap has ever had.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Honestly I can't think of any actress who could dampen my excitement for Captain Marvel.

Really? You can't? Try these:

Fran Drescher
Jessica Lange (hey, at least she's a blonde!)
Meg Ryan
Betty White
Olympia Dukakis (actually she might be awesome)
Cher (who might really enjoy the costumes, at least)

This is fun!
posted by wenestvedt at 1:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

They were unclear and inconsistent as to what the Act did.

Sounds like a totally normal piece of federal legislation, then.
posted by mstokes650 at 1:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Sergio Aragonés' Groo the Wanderer. And this is the part where I say "Shut up and take my money."

TAKE ALL THE MONEYS!!!!!!!!!
posted by eriko at 1:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm not pleased about Cap 3 being Civil War, but admittedly, I was hoping for Cap 3: Up All Night to Get Bucky, and I'm ready to ignore all post-Iron Man 3 Tony Stark appearances because goddammit, that was a perfect character arc for Tony!

I am genuinely thrilled to finally have Black Panther and Captain Marvel movies announced though.
posted by yasaman at 1:05 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Kristin Stewart?

Stewart excels at growly and bitter with like, aristocratic good looks and bearing. Not how I see Danvers.
posted by The Whelk at 1:05 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also I want a Namor movie starring The Rock.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:05 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

I'm still not happy until I know for sure Black Manta is gonna be the villain.
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:06 PM on October 28, 2014

Is it really better

Yes, everything is so much better now, it's amazing. There hasn't been a bad episode of Agents of Shield this season.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:06 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

Dear Marvel:

Hi remember me I wrote a She-Hulk What if a few years ago? It was funny and I was on-time and everything?

Can I be movies?

Thanks,

-JL

Considering the tragic recent cancellation of the most recent run of the She-Hulk comic, probably not gonna happen :(. I'm at least gunning for an Agents of Shield appearance. She can be 'Jen down in Legal', it would be perfect.
posted by Itaxpica at 1:06 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

> "Stewart excels at growly and bitter with like, aristocratic good looks and bearing. Not how I see Danvers."

Well, yes, that was my point. It's always possible to cast a part badly ...
posted by kyrademon at 1:06 PM on October 28, 2014

Kristen Stewart would make a pretty good Domino.
posted by griphus at 1:07 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Doop, starring Russell Crowe in green facepaint
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:07 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

If I can't have a Hawkeye TV show with Lucky the Pizza Dog, please give me a Captain Marvel movie with Chewie the Flerkin Cat!

My very first thought after I learned about CapMarv was OH GOD LET THERE BE FLERKEN

And they're not going to adapt Civil War faithfully any more than they did Extremis. I hope. The broad concept is workable. It's the execution that was so shitty.

Also, if you want to smell what The Rock's been cookin', get ready for Black Adam.
posted by middleclasstool at 1:07 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Is it really better

Yes, everything is so much better now, it's amazing. There hasn't been a bad episode of Agents of Shield this season.

I bailed out in the middle of S01, and just jumped back into S02. Does. Not. Suck.
posted by mikelieman at 1:08 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Kristen Stewart would make a pretty good Domino.



ooooooo
posted by The Whelk at 1:08 PM on October 28, 2014

Doop, starring Russell Crowe in green facepaint

And a full beard.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:08 PM on October 28, 2014

Marvel films seem to do best when keeping one foot firmly in a distinct non-superhero genre. Thus:

Captain America: The First Avenger - pulpy Nazi-clobbering adventure (with superheroes)
Captain America: The Winter Soldier - 70s paranoia thriller (with superheroes)
Guardians of the Galaxy - basically the Han Solo parts of Star Wars (with superheroes)

Kevin Feige has promised that Doctor Strange will be a "mind-bending acid-trip [with superheroes]," so it looks like Marvel will keep on colonizing new genres (with superheroes). Which makes sense, because audiences will have reasons to see the next Marvel film beyond dudes hitting mooks and large ominous vessels crash-landing on cities. I'm hoping Black Panther embraces near-future sci-fi, myself.
posted by Iridic at 1:08 PM on October 28, 2014 [8 favorites]

Sub-Mariner > Aquaman.
posted by cazoo at 1:08 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

She can be 'Jen down in Legal'

How is this not happening?
posted by mikelieman at 1:08 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Imperius Rex!

(Universal owns Namor, though)
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:09 PM on October 28, 2014

The one thing I'd be concerned about in a Sub-Mariner movie is how to handle the fact that he's been creepin' on Sue Richards for fifty years.
posted by griphus at 1:09 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

She can be 'Jen down in Legal'

How is this not happening?

she had a little accident during a company blood drive but is still the best damn lawyer on the team.
posted by The Whelk at 1:10 PM on October 28, 2014 [10 favorites]

Sergio Aragonés' Groo the Wanderer. And this is the part where I say "Shut up and take my money."

No, not yet. Wait for it... wait for it... wait for iiiiiiiiit...

"Starring Nick Frost."
posted by Slap*Happy at 1:11 PM on October 28, 2014 [12 favorites]

Since the movies still haven't dealt with Bucky the Winter Soldier on the run, and I doubt Age of Ultron includes that: I can't see any version of movie Civil War that has THE SIGNIFICANT PLOT WITH STEVE that doesn't end with Bucky appearing out of nowhere, using his teeth to rip out the throat of Crossbones/whoever, and then painting the streets with the blood and viscera of his foes.

I mean, IIRC comics Bucky was around-ish for Civil War, but he was mostly sane and tame at the time. Movie Bucky is a berserker attack waiting to happen.
posted by nicebookrack at 1:11 PM on October 28, 2014

I am excite for Captain Marvel, esp since they seem to be doing ok with space settings so far. Civil War, meh, but maybe it'll lead to some Tony development that they don't mostly backpedal from for the sake of jokes. Mostly I'm a bit bummed that he's gonna be in my Cap movies taking up space that rightfully belongs to Sam and Bucky and Nat.

Also: Runaways and Young Avengers TV shows plz. And Hawkguys sitcom. And Volstagg food tourism show. And just abandon Asgard, it's boring.
posted by NoraReed at 1:12 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Kevin Feige has promised that Doctor Strange will be a "mind-bending acid-trip [with superheroes],"

The soundtrack should be entirely 70s prog rock.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:12 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

Bucky appearing out of nowhere

*Constant craving plays softy in background*
posted by The Whelk at 1:14 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

And just abandon Asgard, it's boring.

And that let's us recast Idris Elba as... Everyone.
posted by mikelieman at 1:14 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

Oh and I should've previewed because RE: Bucky in CW, he was a big part of why Steve was against registration, right? Because they'd figure out all the Winter Soldier stuff and he'd be either locked up or killed by vigilantes.
posted by NoraReed at 1:15 PM on October 28, 2014

I have been hoping with stars in my eyes for Civil War for /years/. This is like all my Christmases come again.
posted by corb at 1:15 PM on October 28, 2014

I'm so mad Elba was cast as Heimdall because there were so many better (and more leading) roles for him in the MCU.
posted by griphus at 1:15 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

I'm actually surprised that no one has ever tapped the power of progressive rock for movie soundtracks (apart from that Vincent Gallo trailer which used Heart of the Sunrise). Even if they limited it to Wakeman/White-era Yes it could be quite extraordinary.
posted by Grangousier at 1:15 PM on October 28, 2014

Shouldn't Stephen Colbert be playing Dr. Strange?
posted by blue_beetle at 1:16 PM on October 28, 2014 [12 favorites]

Ragnarök: The Final Contract
posted by mikelieman at 1:16 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm so mad Elba was cast as Heimdall because there were so many better (and more leading) roles for him in the MCU.

Yeah, but they didn't know they would take off. Honestly I wish he had been cast as Black Panther because that role really demands that kind of commanding presence that Elba just seems to exude.
posted by corb at 1:17 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Could we please have more comic book movies like "Sin City" and "Watchmen" and fewer comic book abortions like "The Wolverine"?

My parents drove out this past weekend and delivered a lot of my old crap, including a long box full of bagged comics from the mid 1980s. I randomly pulled up a few titles to see what was in there: I hadn't peeked in years. And I am here to say that I would be interested in watching the Coen brothers make Matt Wagner's Grendel, or anyone-but-Tanrantino do Frank Miller's "Lone Wolf and Cub", or someone who is good with CGI trying the episodic "Area 88," or someone really earnest making a "Star Blazers" live action movie.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:17 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

The soundtrack should be entirely 70s prog rock.

Sun Ra's Lanquidity in its entirety or GTFO
posted by Hoopo at 1:18 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Said it before and I'll say it again: whence the Beyonder?
posted by penduluum at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2014

Lone Wolf and Cub movies
posted by Grangousier at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2014

Argh, oh god I cannot describe my rage over Captain America 3. It's Downey pigging into a franchise that has a much better critical rep than his. They wanted a small part in CA3 for Iron Man, he demanded the lead role and $40 million and they gave it to him. And so instead of Steve and Bucky, Sam and Natasha, we are going to get another Tony Stark shitshow. And it's not like Marvel wouldn't have leapt to give him Iron Man 4 if he just wanted more movies and money. I'm sure it would have made a bajillion dollars and lots of people would have gone to go see it, and I could have a Steve Rogers movie where the lead isn't an arrogant asshole, women are there as something other than girlfriends or whores or provider of ass shots, and the takeaway message isn't that you should be happy to let billionaires run the world.

And because it's Chris Evans' last Marvel movie and they want more of Downey, it's not even going to be Cap's movie, it's undoubtedly going to be 'Steve Rogers is a noble idiot who had to be put down by Tony Stark, admire how Tony suffers over it'. And since the people running the MCU aren't as dumb as Mark Millar, they'll probably manage to successfully portray Cap as wrong.

Rage, so much rage.
posted by tavella at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

Said it before and I'll say it again: whence the Beyonder?

Getting his hair permed?
posted by entropicamericana at 1:20 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

The soundtrack should be entirely 70s prog rock.

Prog/Acid folk. Or an original score by Goblin.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:20 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

So the deal with the Strange Tales thing was you got to pick what character you wanted to do and I originally wanted to do Dr. Strange Vs. Manhattan Real Estate Agents but I found it was impossible to write him without accidentally writing Dr. Orpheus
posted by The Whelk at 1:20 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

Kevin Feige has promised that Doctor Strange will be a "mind-bending acid-trip [with superheroes]

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the The Vapors of Valtorr began to take hold..."

"Don't stop here, this is Mindless Ones country!"
posted by Slap*Happy at 1:21 PM on October 28, 2014 [17 favorites]

"Starring Nick Frost."

ALL OF THE MONEYS. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. PLEASE GOD MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
posted by eriko at 1:22 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

the takeaway message isn't that you should be happy to let billionaires run the world.

I think they're going to fuck up some small stuff of Civil War, but if they actually make it out like Stark was right, I'm going to nerdrage so damn hard it's not even funny.
posted by corb at 1:22 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

G. R. R Martin was asked about how Doctor Strange should be written and he said something to the effect that he shouldn't be anyone that anyone really knows about, he's on the sidelines, protecting the world from The Old Ones etc. So if he's getting pulled it means there's an existential threat to reality itself.
posted by The Whelk at 1:23 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

If we get a Dr Orpheus performance out of Cumberbatch's Strange I think I might just die of delight.
posted by Tevin at 1:24 PM on October 28, 2014 [8 favorites]

Frank Miller's "Lone Wolf and Cub"

Frank Miller's? A little Googling says he did some of the Dark Horse reissue covers, but that's it, man.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 1:25 PM on October 28, 2014

Said it before and I'll say it again: whence the Beyonder?

He's busy. Sounds like he'll be in there for a while.
posted by COBRA! at 1:25 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

she had a little accident during a company blood drive but is still the best damn lawyer on the team.

Isn't there an unidentified woman with the team in the "celebration" scene from the Age of Ultron trailer?
posted by zombieflanders at 1:26 PM on October 28, 2014

MetaFilter: Pardon me while I make an air-jerking-off motion
posted by vibrotronica at 1:26 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

More of She-Hulk as Single Female Superhero Lawyer, less of Civil War because there's no way that's going to be not a trainwreck. Hell, pull out Secret War and do that without Spider-Man or the Fantastic Four and it would be better.

Since we'll probably never get an Authority movie out of DC (as it would bankrupt the world), I'll also settle for NEXTWAVE.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:27 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Frank Miller's "Lone Wolf and Cub

A thousand otaku just roll around in their graves.

Miller would wish.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:27 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I am hoping for the surprise reveal that Cumberbatch will be Mordo, and we get someone else for Strange.
posted by Foosnark at 1:28 PM on October 28, 2014

Frank Miller's "Lone Wolf and Cub"

/shudders at memory of Frank Miller's The Spirit.
posted by Artw at 1:28 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I'll also settle for NEXTWAVE.

To be accurate to the comic, every actor's dialogue will need to be overdubbed with Warren Ellis reading the lines.
posted by griphus at 1:28 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

I'll also settle for NEXTWAVE.

It's like Shakespeare, but with lots more punches.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Excuse me while I #nerdgasm.
posted by zakur at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2014

I found it was impossible to write him without accidentally writing Dr. Orpheus

Yeah, talk about a definitive characterization of an archetype.
posted by mikelieman at 1:30 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

He's busy. Sounds like he'll be in there for a while.

I'll be starting my mornings by shouting "THE EXPERIENCE IS CONSUMMATED" for a couple weeks, so thank you very much for that.
posted by penduluum at 1:31 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

Frank Miller's "Lone Wolf and Cub"

I know, I know, only the covers. What I meant is, "Remember that run of LWaC that Miller did the covers for? That was awesome. I would enjoy watching a new motion picture made with modern production methods & sensibilities that reflect Miller's rough, dark art and grim tone. Sure, Miller isn't Hemingway -- but remember how Star Wars was good despite Lucas's lame-ass script? Like that."

SORRY.

/throws self on floor dramatically, arm protecting eyes from harsh, cruel world
posted by wenestvedt at 1:33 PM on October 28, 2014

I'll also settle for NEXTWAVE.

Oh, Pretty Please!
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:34 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Wait, hang on, I figured out a way to make Civil War a thing I'd like. Three-quarters of the way through the movie Stark turns off his holographic disguise (as seen in TWS and Agents of SHIELD!) and it turns out RDJ is actually playing the Red Skull.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:34 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

There is probably a 0% chance they'll use Katee Sackhoff, sadly. She'll be 37 when they're shooting Captain Marvel, and even if you ignore rampant ageism where actresses are concerned, Marvel is likely positioning CM to be in several movies over the subsequent 6-10 years. So yeah, she could do it, and she'd be terrific, but Marvel will likely think it's a safer bet to cast someone on the sunny side of 30 so that they can plan on them with greater confidence.

Is there a word for "Missing out on a superhero role you were born for because the production timing didn't match your age"? Let's call it getting Bruce Campbelled.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:34 PM on October 28, 2014 [8 favorites]

I'm just laughing at all the fangirl rage about the Cumberbatch casting and it's still not confirmed. Well played, Marvel. (I like Oded Fehr, but Cumberbatch doesn't offend me particularly. I wasn't expecting Marvel to consider anything but white actors given the names previously bandied about for the role.)
posted by immlass at 1:35 PM on October 28, 2014

And yeah, speaking of Nextwave...
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:35 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, are we still getting that AMC show of Preacher? Because HOLY SHIT.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:36 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

..oh man I just realized I described how Strange could fit into the MCU back in February as a "Consulting detective type"

sorry everyone
posted by The Whelk at 1:36 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Is there a word for "Missing out on a superhero role you were born for because the production timing didn't match your age"? Let's call it getting Bruce Campbelled.

Or possibly Jon Hammed.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:37 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Frank Miller's "Lone Wolf and Cub"

You might be thinking of Ronin, which actually was really damned good. An adaptation of that would be weird and interesting if done right.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:38 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Alan-Rickman-will-never-be-Morpheus'd
posted by griphus at 1:38 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

>I am hoping for the surprise reveal that Cumberbatch will be Mordo, and we get someone else for Strange.

Yes, this would work. Personally I think they should cast Jared Leto, and if not him, then an asian actor for Doctor Strange, specifically Daniel Dae Kim.

Cumberbatch's head is a potato of the wrong shape.
posted by Catblack at 1:39 PM on October 28, 2014

Benedict Cumberbach would make an excellent Jughead once the comics film epidemic hits the Archie universe.
posted by dr_dank at 1:39 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

What I meant is, "Remember that run of LWaC that Miller did the covers for? That was awesome. I would enjoy watching a new motion picture made with modern production methods & sensibilities that reflect Miller's rough, dark art and grim tone.

I used to fantasize about doing an anime series of the entire arc of LWAC stories, done entirely in the black and white style from the books themselves, with the red of the blood being the only color, a la Grendel: Black, White and Red. It would be entirely in Japanese with subs, too. I then finished the series, and...well, I guess I like the earlier picaresque better, before Ogami Itto settles down to the brass tacks of actually implementing revenge and goes from World's Best Swordsman to Unstoppable Force of Total Killing Madness, Sure Let's Have Him Kill Like 300 Dudes, Whatever. I still think a show like that could be cool, though.

I did not care for Miller's cover art.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 1:41 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Emily Blunt is very good at punching things in Edge of Something.
posted by Artw at 1:41 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Benedict Cumberbach would make an excellent Jughead once the comics film epidemic hits the Archie universe.

Ahem.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:42 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I did not care for Miller's cover art.

Could be worse.
posted by Artw at 1:42 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

a friend just proposed katheryn winnick as carol danvers which would be delightful although slightly hilarious when the ukrainian accent slips through.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:43 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

"Gentleman, I am Doctor Strange."

"What?"

"Doctor Steven Strange, current Sorcerer Supreme and protector of Earth and its reality, guardian of the -"

"No I get that but that's your real name? Your parents are Mr. And Mrs. Strange? You went to school with that name? How did that work did you just - wiggle your fingers at kids til they shut up?"

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Mr. Stark."

"touche'."
posted by The Whelk at 1:44 PM on October 28, 2014 [14 favorites]

I think they're going to fuck up some small stuff of Civil War, but if they actually make it out like Stark was right, I'm going to nerdrage so damn hard it's not even funny.

Who do you think they are going to make the hero? The actor that they rolled over for when they demanded the lead role in another character's franchise, or the actor that won't sign on for more roles and doesn't even want to *act* anymore? The one who they let rewrite what Cap 3 was going to be about, or the one who can't even influence his own movie? The one they are paying $40 million to or the one who is getting a tiny salary? The one they consider the face of the MCU or the one who is a comparatively modest player?

Even if the writers and directors intend a more balanced movie, it's clear Downey can override them.
posted by tavella at 1:46 PM on October 28, 2014

Civil War just turns out to be Rogers and Stark having a pizza party
posted by The Whelk at 1:48 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

> Benedict Cumberbach would make an excellent Jughead once the comics film epidemic hits the Archie universe.

Ahem.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 4:42 PM on October 28

Holy CRAP, Holy Zarquon--is that writer serious? That's not satire or something?
posted by magstheaxe at 1:49 PM on October 28, 2014

Honestly I can't think of any actress who could dampen my excitement for Captain Marvel. Literally every name people suggest makes me go HOLY SHIT THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.

Fair game because she has, technically, done acting on SNL:

Sarah Palin.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:52 PM on October 28, 2014

It's just an Avengers video commentary track on the entirety of Ken Burns's The Civil War.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:52 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Civil War is just Rogers and Stark playing Gettysburg, the classic Avalon Hill board game.
posted by Iridic at 1:52 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

It's just an Avengers video commentary track on the entirety of Ken Burns's The Civil War.

Alternatively, I would watch the shit out of a Ken Burns style documentary about the Marvel Civil War.
posted by Itaxpica at 1:57 PM on October 28, 2014 [19 favorites]

One hundred percent serious, yes.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:59 PM on October 28, 2014

Alternatively, I would watch the shit out of a Ken Burns style documentary about the Marvel Civil War

The bad accents and and dramatic sepia toning are really more DC house style.
posted by Think_Long at 2:00 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Rogers and Stark are on vacation in Gettysburg when a glowing rebel musket pulls them through a time portal and they are forced to choose between saving their own lives and preserving the timeline.
posted by a dangerous ruin at 2:01 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Reading this thread, I just realized that the Dr. Strange I want/need/deserve would be written by Samuel R. Delany. Strange would live in a hybrid NYC/Bellona and be queer as fuck. And he'd be hot, so frootloops sandpatch would not be appropriate casting.

... And I just realized that this isn't that far off from what John Constantine was during early Hellblazer.
posted by ursus_comiter at 2:03 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I'm currently working through the Civil War comics, and it's not very good. It's good in the way that it throws in all of the MCU, and that's neato to see the heavy hitters all meeting before the registration hits and such, but as far as the cinematic universe goes, there just isn't enough backstory yet for the plotline. Oh, and I've been coming to the conclusion for many years that Mark Millar is a terrible comics writer. So much of the Civil War comic revolves around Reed Richards and the Fantastic Four.

The same premise that the Civil War covers is better handled by Powers (which is getting a miniseries adaptation by Amazon.)
posted by Catblack at 2:03 PM on October 28, 2014

"Can we stay a little while longer, I always wanted to hear Lincoln speak."

"Oh my god you're not kidding, this isn't an act, you are actually like this."

*Steve pouts agressively*
posted by The Whelk at 2:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [11 favorites]

Loki: "actually, the Civil War wasn't actually about slavery at all"
Hulk rage explodes.
Loki swaggers off.
posted by Think_Long at 2:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [9 favorites]

abandon Asgard, it's boring

Thor 3 should end like the comic with Asgard exploded and the Asgardians stuffed in a refugee ship floating over Nebraska. Awkward Earth diplomacy ensues!

(Then we can get that Straczynski storyline with the random Asgardian girl who falls in love with a random Earth farm boy and that whole bit totally made me cry, you guys)
posted by nicebookrack at 2:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

bET put out an animated Black Panther series a while back

I both can't believe that amazing cartoon exists (jackass racist USA general voiced by Not Really Stan Lee?!) and it reminds me of some of the many, many ways a Black Panther movie could go very wrong.
posted by straight at 2:05 PM on October 28, 2014

Your parents are Mr. And Mrs. Strange? You went to school with that name?

Strange is actually not an uncommon surname. I have family with that name.
posted by Hoopo at 2:05 PM on October 28, 2014

how odd.
posted by The Whelk at 2:06 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Loki: "actually, the Civil War wasn't actually about slavery at all"

Hulk: "IT NOT ABOUT ETHICS IN GAMES JOURNALISM!"
posted by straight at 2:06 PM on October 28, 2014 [19 favorites]

Strange is actually not an uncommon surname.

Welcome...to our office!
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 2:21 PM on October 28, 2014

I'm glad that movie releases aren't a zero sum game, and that I have about a hundred years of film accessible easily on Netflix, Amazon, YouTube and all of the libraries I'm a patron of. Because the idea of six years of back to back super hero movies would otherwise drive me fucking crazy.
posted by codacorolla at 2:24 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Civil War was best when it wasn't even focused on Civil War. Like, over in Cable & Deadpool you had Wade & Nade getting a more-effectively-done divorce than Tony & Steve, and Deadpool the (pro-reg) crazy superpowered killer pointed out to (anti-reg) Cable the many legitimate reasons to keep official track of crazy superpowered killers. None of this had any actual bearing on the "real" Civil War, but it was a lot more interesting. (And will never happen, with Deadpool and Cable both up in the air over at Fox.)
posted by nicebookrack at 2:26 PM on October 28, 2014

The thing that is interesting about Civil War (no really) is that Tony would be absolutely right, in our universe. But the Marvel universe is a strange world where costumed vigilantes fighting crime with damgerous superpowers actually works and is non-horrifying, so it's wrong for that world. So essentially it's a battle between the rules of our universe and a fictional one.
posted by Artw at 2:29 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Civil War???? NOOOOoooOOOOoooooOOOOoo!!! *shakes fist at the universe*

Captain Marvel, on the other hand, makes me very happy. Please don't suck.
posted by lovecrafty at 2:30 PM on October 28, 2014

Welcome...to our office!

BY THE SEVEN KEYS OF MYSTOOK YOUR CAVITY IS INHABITED BY THE VERY SOUL OF THE DAMNED DENYARU, have you been flossing regularly?
posted by The Whelk at 2:33 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

As a staunch DC fan, I feel very outgroupped on MetaFilter when these weekly rah-rah MCU threads pop up. I'll be over here fantasy-casting the Aquaman movie that will never fucking happen if anybody needs me, thank you very much.

How bad at their jobs/angry must the DC head honchos be that even their fans haven't heard about their BIG GIANT BLOCKBUSTER NEWS and Marvel basically trumps them with barely any effort at all.

Also, I don't need to see Frank Miller's anything for the next, oh, ever.
posted by kmz at 2:35 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

There's also the history of the MU, artw. Where the Red Skull has been secretary of defense and the head of a Hydra spinoff was President. Where the government has run death camps and built genocidal robots. You could only think registration was a good idea if you had your mind wiped (which of course, happens on the regular, including by Mr. Reg himself, Tony Stark.)
posted by tavella at 2:37 PM on October 28, 2014

WHAT'S SO CIVIL 'BOUT WAR, ANYWAY?
(amirite?)
posted by entropicamericana at 2:38 PM on October 28, 2014

Why is nobody excited over Inhumans? Is this just the Phase 3 version of GotG where nobody really knows or gets them, so they just ignore their existence until the movie comes out and reveals how totally awesome they are?
posted by GhostintheMachine at 2:40 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Ha, as a non-comics reader who's only casually familiar with major comics story arcs, that was always the disconnect that confused me, artw. Like, it's probably a good idea to have some sort of regulation of the people with crazy potentially destructive superpowers? On the other hand, when you're on the opposite side to Captain America, you've probably done something wrong somewhere.
posted by yasaman at 2:41 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

*whispers tenderly to monitor * "we'll always have fanfic
posted by The Whelk at 2:43 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

But who will be cast as Lockjaw?
posted by homunculus at 2:44 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

a friend just proposed katheryn winnick as carol danvers which would be delightful although slightly hilarious when the ukrainian accent slips through.

I like this idea. Lagertha would make an excellent Captain Marvel.
posted by homunculus at 2:44 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Also, I don't need to see Frank Miller's anything for the next, oh, ever.

frank miller's mugshot as drawn by rob liefeld
posted by poffin boffin at 2:45 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I was about to make the comment that 15-years-ago me would be disgusted at how disinterested now-me is about all this stuff, but then I realized it'd actually be 20-years-ago me and now now-me's just all old and sad and old and mourning his lost youth.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:46 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

the Marvel universe is a strange world where costumed vigilantes fighting crime with damgerous superpowers actually works and is non-horrifying

Is that true for the MCU, though? Daredevil next year will presumably be the first MCU superhero who isn't already working directly for the government (Captain America, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Coulson's crew in AoS season 1), working with the government (Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor), and/or being hunted/harassed by the government for working alone and NOT for the government (Tony again, Bruce again, Thor again, Coulson's crew in AoS season 2).
posted by nicebookrack at 2:46 PM on October 28, 2014

The thing that is interesting about Civil War (no really) is that Tony would be absolutely right, in our universe. But the Marvel universe is a strange world where costumed vigilantes fighting crime with damgerous superpowers actually works and is non-horrifying, so it's wrong for that world.

But the Marvel Movieverse is a 3rd thing, where there are hardly any costumed vigilantes, nobody has a secret identity, and the government (or at least SHIELD) already has a registry of superpowered folks and it was already completely compromised by Hydra.

It's like they already had the Civil War, the registration side won, the super-villains behind the registration were revealed, and Steve/Natasha/Sam came in and defeated them, discrediting the whole registration idea. We've already had Civil War: Aftermath, and now they want to give us Civil War?
posted by straight at 2:48 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I don't know. So far I've seen all of the current era superhero movies (except for the latest Spider-Man series), but twenty-nine movies in six or seven years is really stretching it. In an ideal world I'd like to see mostly movies like Gravity and (hopefully) Interstellar, along with the occasional superhero epic, but it seems like we're destined for the reverse.

DC has a tremendous universe of characters and could easily compete with Marvel if they knew what they were doing. But the Man of Steel movie is so godawful wretched and clueless I no longer have confidence that this is the case. And I really don't want a cinematic universe that begins with the ultra-violent, thousands-die-in-Metropolis debut of neck-snappin' Superman as its foundation stone.

Marvel certainly knows what they're doing, so I'll be there for all the fun sequels and so on. Hooray for Avengers Infinity, Thor and Captain America. (The Serpent Society would have been fine as the villains in a sequel, but no doubt they've got to get maximum use out of Downey while he's still under contract.) Doctor Strange could be awesome. (Just imagine Ditko's surrealistic landscapes up on the big screen!) It could be anything really, but here's hoping it's good. Don't know about Ant Man and I have no interest in Captain Marvel, so their string of successes could end there.

The thing that most strikes me about all these Marvel movies is how sad it is that Fantastic Four isn't among them. Two of the wonderful concepts that came out of that series are going to become movies, but we won't get to see them spun out of an FF movie as they should be. I wish Fox Would just let go of that property already. It could be the center of its own sub-franchise of movies, but they don't have the rights to anything else.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:50 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

I'm still waiting for the other shoe on INHUMANS to drop. I've been trying to be a better person this year, but an adaptation of Kirby? I haven't been that good. (Probably explains why the family and Marvel settled recently, though!) Seems strange to see them without the Fantastic Four, though.

Plus, trying to figure out who can do Black Bolt. Somebody with impressive eyebrow action. So again, Colbert.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 2:51 PM on October 28, 2014

Guys the "Civil war" is Steve and Tony arguing over what pizza toppings to have for the big party they're having for Bucky and the rest of the team, obviously.
posted by The Whelk at 2:52 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

(Averngers favorite pizza toppings go.)
posted by The Whelk at 2:53 PM on October 28, 2014

But who will be cast as Lockjaw?

Cumberbatch!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:58 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Tony is New York style. Steve is Chicago-quiche style.

The rest writes itself.
posted by Tevin at 2:58 PM on October 28, 2014

There hasn't been a Marvel comic book movie since Iron Man that I haven't enjoyed watching and a couple of them have been outright great so I'm perfectly content to let this trend continue, I'm sure many of us still like to pretend to believe that there is space in this world for other kinds of movies but it's time to let it go. Just let it go and let the spandex wash over you.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:58 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

The Hulk gets an enormous pizza topped with other, regular-sized pizzas.
posted by Itaxpica at 2:58 PM on October 28, 2014 [10 favorites]

I heard Thor enjoys a nice calzone.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:59 PM on October 28, 2014

>She'll be 37 when they're shooting Captain Marvel, and even if you ignore rampant ageism where actresses are concerned, Marvel is likely positioning CM to be in several movies over the subsequent 6-10 years.

You're probably right but I still see it working. RDJr was about that for iron man 1 and she was always portrayed as a bit older and wiser.

>Tony is New York style. Steve is Chicago-quiche style.

The kid from Brooklyn into deep dish? You jest.
posted by anti social order at 3:01 PM on October 28, 2014 [9 favorites]

(Oh god I just checked if Lombardi's was before Steve's time so he'd be familiar with pizza oh god what is wrong with me.)
posted by The Whelk at 3:03 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Tony would eat some bizarre concoction created automatically by a flying oven he drew up on a lunch break last week, topped with lasers.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 3:03 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Slap*Happy:

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the The Vapors of Valtorr began to take hold..."

"Don't stop here, this is Mindless Ones country!"

Oh yeah! Imagine Doctor Strange as this mystic who goes on epic adventures in unexplored and unguessed at realms both within the human soul and beyond the edge of existence - but everyone on Earth thinks he's just a burnout, druggie ex-surgeon. He's so successful at keeping creepy crawlies away that no one even knows they exist.

"I saved the Earth from Dormammu!"

"Dorma who?"
posted by Kevin Street at 3:03 PM on October 28, 2014 [10 favorites]

Fail Hydra: five reasons to give Agents of SHIELD another go

And tonight's episode of Agents of SHIELD will end with an "exclusive, new clip from Avengers: Age of Ultron", FYI.
posted by nicebookrack at 3:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

"Guys I call it 'laserzaw' don't you love it?"

"Fuck you, Tony.

...

It's fucking delicious."
posted by Tevin at 3:05 PM on October 28, 2014

There is a thing I do in real life to sanity check my political opinions and it consists of checking to see if there aren't any people of any specific marginalized groups backing the same thing, because privilege kinda puts blinders on some of my bullshit detectors. So, like, make sure I'm not voting for the guy with literally no Black supporters, stuff like that.

This doesn't always work in fictional political conflicts, but it was pretty interesting how it seemed like all the Black heroes fell on Cap's side, with some neutral X-Men exceptions.

I bet Bucky gets some weird-ass combination like pineapples and sardines and Steve always made faces at him because GROSS and when he smells that weird combination he tears up and gets nostalgic.

Also I've been saying this over and over but KILL TONY AND REPLACE IRON MAN WITH RESCUE

also just give all the supporting female roles a crossover movie where they try to become friends and bond but things go wrong and they have to team up and save everyone

the Darcy and Pepper scenes alone would sell it
posted by NoraReed at 3:06 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

You're probably right but I still see it working. RDJr was about that for iron man 1 and she was always portrayed as a bit older and wiser.

She could have a protégé. Maybe a kid from Jersey...
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 3:10 PM on October 28, 2014

Pineapple pizza ( indeed complex toppings in general is a modern thing) is post WW2 - Bucky puts those awful black olives that taste like dirt and he has to pick them off cause the concept of a "slice" was still new so you'd order the whole thing and no one bothered with "half" so there.
posted by The Whelk at 3:12 PM on October 28, 2014

But the Marvel Movieverse is a 3rd thing, where there are hardly any costumed vigilantes, nobody has a secret identity, and the government (or at least SHIELD) already has a registry of superpowered folks and it was already completely compromised by Hydra.

At the event Feige stated that the movie version of Civil War would be different from the comics, partially because secret identities aren't a big deal in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

So yeah, let the reality of the comic book story melt away. The idea of governments wanting to control super powered people and the super powered people differing on the opinion of whether that's a good idea makes sense. Cap and Iron Man disagreeing makes sense, be it pizza topping or civil rights.

If you've seen the Age of Ultron trailer (and you should), Tony is clearly feeling guilty about something, so if he happens to be responsible for Ultron becoming a destructive terror, I can see see him getting on board the "somebody needs to reign us/me in cause of the mess we/I made" train, going full steam ahead and fuck what everyone else thinks. A man egocentric enough to think he can fix the world is definitely arrogant enough to think he can save it from his fix.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:12 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

the Darcy and Pepper scenes alone would sell it

I'm seeing a The Odd Couple dynamic going on myself
posted by The Whelk at 3:14 PM on October 28, 2014

it was pretty interesting how it seemed like all the Black heroes fell on Cap's side

Actually this reminds me that it is heartbreaking that FF are not in the rights universe, because the Yancy Street Gang and Ben Grimm (and Sue and Reed!) cannot be left out of the Civil War.
posted by corb at 3:15 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

holding out for Doctor Fate
posted by waraw at 3:18 PM on October 28, 2014

Did you watch Constantine, waraw? His helmet makes an appearance. I squeed a little.
posted by Tevin at 3:23 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

neck-snappin' Superman

Damn, WB totally made this an action figure, didn't they.
posted by ursus_comiter at 3:24 PM on October 28, 2014

The thing about RDj and Tony... RDj doesn't like Tony very much. Tony is a fuckup, Tony is responsible for most of his own trouble, and RDj refuses to let his portrayal of a likable superhero take the flawed and often foolish man at the center of the Iron Man story off the hook.

Iron Man is going to be the villain - and that would be the capstone of the characters' cycle. You won't even realize you're supposed to root against him until uncomfortably late in the film.
posted by Slap*Happy at 3:25 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

There's a fanfare for it, but boy that show was terrible.
posted by Artw at 3:25 PM on October 28, 2014

(Smugly pats self on back for realizing Tony might be the secret big bad pivot back in IM2)
posted by The Whelk at 3:28 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

(The Serpent Society would have been fine as the villains in a sequel, but no doubt they've got to get maximum use out of Downey while he's still under contract.)

It wasn't originally a Civil War movie but RDJ demanded a bigger role. Some people above have alluded to this; here's a source of the gossip.

Of note: "the introduction of the Civil War story is seen as a way to drive the plots of sequels and new franchises for the next seven years, given the dramatic possibilities it offers for future films."

Perlmutter sounds like a loose cannon and the biggest threat to the quality of the MCU.
posted by painquale at 3:40 PM on October 28, 2014

We could maybe reconsider all the personal character judgments of people we don't know at all based on reading entertainment blog clickbait.
posted by middleclasstool at 3:43 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Look, if we're really gonna talk about Civil War (really?) you have to link to (MeFi's own) mightygodking's version where he photoshopped a total rewrite of the script into the six main Civil War issues and gave us the most entertaining comic to come out of that whole fiasco, almost making the whole thing worthwhile.
posted by straight at 3:43 PM on October 28, 2014 [10 favorites]

They're also doing (literally magical) Evil Tony Stark in the comics using the Axis "reversal" to do Superior Iron Man™. You can tell he's evil because he has silver armor and is an alcoholic. "Look, the hero is suddenly evil now, because magic! We just BLEW YOUR MIND!" If SpOck and Superior Everything* could kindly die in a fire, I would appreciate it.

* except Foes of Spider-Man. You can stay, Superior Foes.
posted by nicebookrack at 3:46 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

> I think it's not necessarily comic-films fault that there are no movies about adults doing normal stuff anymore.

Wasn't going to complain about that, but why does it always have to be superheros? We could have had a dozen Marvin the Martian movies by now.
posted by jfuller at 3:55 PM on October 28, 2014

What we need out of She-Hulk is a Marvel version of Harvey Birdman mixed with Ally McBeal with maybe a bit of Phoenix Wright in there for good measure
posted by DoctorFedora at 4:01 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Captain Marvel and Inhumans come out the same year. In Captain Marvel 2, Kamala can team up with Lockjaw!
posted by nicebookrack at 4:05 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

holding out for Doctor Fate

Is that a Blue Öyster Cult track? Because that really needs to be a Blue Öyster Cult track.
posted by Grangousier at 4:13 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

DC should just start making adaptations of its Vertigo comics.
posted by Apocryphon at 4:14 PM on October 28, 2014

…why does it always have to be superheros? We could have had a dozen Marvin the Martian movies by now.

Marvin is pretty much a super villain.

Proabably a White Martian underneath that silly get-up.

Ooh! Ms. Martian could fight him!
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:19 PM on October 28, 2014

Okay I've literally never read it, who/what are the inhumans?
posted by The Whelk at 4:21 PM on October 28, 2014

‘Judge Dredd’ Web Series From ‘Dredd’ EP Adi Shankar Debuts
posted by Artw at 4:21 PM on October 28, 2014

DC's making a Sandman movie?/miniseries with Joseph Gordon-Levitt attached, which I regard with hope and dread. And the very loose adaptations of RED (was that Vertigo?) have done well and starred Helen Mirren.
posted by nicebookrack at 4:22 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

You know what Marvel needs to make? Yearly MCU Holiday Specials. Especially "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santron" from the 2005 issue.

(That and get the Fantastic Four movie rights so they can release a Ben Grimm's Poker Night short every year...)
posted by jason_steakums at 4:24 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Okay I've literally never read it, who/what are the inhumans?

whaaaaaaaaaat
posted by middleclasstool at 4:25 PM on October 28, 2014

The Whelk: Inhumans are basically SPACE MUTANTS.

That's it.

No, there's this whole thing with a space kingdom of kinda-aliens called Inhumans, who when exposed to a gas called Terrigen Mist get superpowers/deformed/hideous death. 1 or 2 of 3. And there were other aliens doing genetic engineering with humans and Inhumans, so a percentage of humans are secretly Inhuman, which Earth found out when the Inhuman King dropped a Terrigen Bomb on Earth.
posted by nicebookrack at 4:29 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Okay I've literally never read it, who/what are the inhumans?


Black Bolt and crew? No?

OK, originally they were a separate race, split off from humans by genetic tinkering from an alien race (the Kree, whom we met in Guardians of the Galaxy) and living in their own kingdom. They have superpowers b/c of said tinkering and an awakening agent called Terrigen. Recently (since Marvel proved they were capable of doing their own movies, but incapable of getting the rights to their mutants back) it was revealed that some humans posses the Inhuman gene. Due to Black Bolt (King of (the best known group of) Inhumans) setting off a Terrigen bomb (it's complicated) these mutants humans with the Inhuman gene have had powers thrust upon them. The new Ms. Marvel, for example, is one of these new Inhumans (dubbed, I'm not kidding, NuHumans.)
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:30 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm looking forward the The Inhumans because they're usually kind of a brooding bore post-Kirby, but the MCU always leans on humor, so I'm picturing Gorgon as sort of a cosmic version of Marvel's Hercules (who really really needs a movie. A James Gunn movie. With Amadeus Cho.)
posted by jason_steakums at 4:31 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I just wanna go on record and say if they don't use "Twilight of the Thunder Gods" over either the opening or closing credits for the next Thor movie I will no joke smash a teddy bear hospital to pieces with a special wrench.
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:31 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

It's like some people don't even know how the world is supposed to work.
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:32 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Also they are SUPER KIRBYTASTIC. The king of the Inhumans is Black Bolt, which is short for his actual name which I swear to god is BLACKAGAR BOLTAGON, and his power is that when he talks his voice destroys everything for miles around so he "speaks" through body language interpreted by his wife Medusa, who has prehensile hair (except instead of snakes she's a redhead). Also Lockjaw, Best Comics Dog Ever, is theirs.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 4:32 PM on October 28, 2014 [11 favorites]

Awesome, space mutants I'm on board.

MCU HOLIDAY SPECIALS

Oh you could have fun with this, like make it about Tony + otherdhaving to perform in a goodwill post-Avengers TV special (live!) as another PR your for Stark Industries and the Avengers initiative (we're the good guys! Really! Trust us! Please?!) when something goes horribly wrong during filming.

They can cut to Pre-Recorded segments and everything.
posted by The Whelk at 4:33 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I would be interested in watching the Coen brothers make Matt Wagner's Grendel.

Oh, yes please.
posted by homunculus at 4:34 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

AGH phone posted my comment early. Anyway. Inhumans = basically mutants, except:
- Inhumans have an actual royal family, notably King Black Bolt (mute because his voice obliterates things) and Queen Medusa (prehensile hair). I think they live(d) on the moon? With their giant dog LOCKJAW.
- Inhumans don't discover their powers (or grisly death) until hit with Terrigen Mist, unlike birth or puberty or whenever mutant stuff usually hits.
- Inhumans don't have the X-gene like mutants, which is v v important to, like, mutant purists, because reasons.

You could theoretically be a mutant AND an Inhuman at the same time, if you have Inhuman ancestry plus the X-gene.
posted by nicebookrack at 4:35 PM on October 28, 2014

Also Lockjaw, Best Comics Dog Ever, is theirs.

Who may or may not be (depending on the retcon-ometer) an Inhuman whose awakened power was to become… a teleporting dog.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:35 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

P.S. They used to say Lockjaw was an Inhuman man mutated by Terrigenesis into dog shape, but thank retcon he's now just a big dog, because that backstory was creepy as hell. "I Have No Mouth and I Must Woof and Be a Royal Pet!"
posted by nicebookrack at 4:38 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

The king of the Inhumans is Black Bolt, which is short for his actual name which I swear to god is BLACKAGAR BOLTAGON

I'm just quoting this because it bears repeating to everyone who likes Marvel movies but hasn't read too deep into the comics - yes that is a real true thing and it is awesome and this is what you've gotten yourselves into, your fandom is heading straight down a path that leads to an awesome dude who owns a teleporting dog the size of a car and calls himself Black Bolt and his real name is, indeed, Blackagar goddamn Boltagon.
posted by jason_steakums at 4:39 PM on October 28, 2014 [13 favorites]

...who they totally treat like a dog.

If you read the John Bryne story the retcon that this was just a prank using ventriloquism seems fairly awful also.
posted by Artw at 4:40 PM on October 28, 2014

Well, It's not as though Lockjaw would be the most unfortunate Inhuman. They've got one guy who's just a door and doesn't even get to chase frisbees or whatever.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:43 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

What great news all around! Love that Captain Marvel and Black Panther will enter the MCU.

For those of you pining for a good Fantastic Four movie, how about going meta? There's a documentary about the shelved Corman Fantastic Four movie: Doomed.

Regarding When will they scrape the bottom of the barrel hard enough that I can see a Trashman or Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers film? The answer is never. ... but we did get Fritz The Cat (ugh) and American Splendor (yay) and Ghost World (yay). Come to think of it, Ghost World as a prequel to Avengers?

And since there's nowhere else to put this clever thing I heard at Comic-Con, someone (I want to say Neal Adams but tragically can't remember) was asked about his favorite Batman movie and the reply was "none of them" - the Best Batman Movie is actually Die Hard With a Vengeance - Bruce Willis as Batman, Samuel L Jackson as Robin, and Jeremy Irons as The Riddler (which struck me as entirely brilliant at the time and still does).

DC and Sony are in such disarray compared with the Marvel features. It's so hard to get tone right and Marvel manages to make these movies so much fun. Hell, just typing this makes me want to go see Guardians of the Galaxy again for the high fun quotient, Howard the Duck movie or not.

I would be interested in watching the Coen brothers make Matt Wagner's Grendel.

Yes, but I would like to see Mage: The Hero Discovered more than Grendel. I loved that series VERY VERY MUCH. Spectacular though the "chosen one" thing is tropishly trope-ic these days.

Also: LOCKJAW, YES PLEASE.
posted by artlung at 4:46 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Lesson learned: Never visit Inhumanland, because you'll sit on their chairs and use their cutlery and sleep in their beds, and probably all of it is people, it's PEOPLE ALL THE WAY DOWN.
posted by nicebookrack at 4:46 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

I can't remember where I read this, but I saw the idea floated for an Inhumans TV series that would consist of different Royal Houses warring on the moon, Game of Thrones-style. I want that.
posted by painquale at 4:47 PM on October 28, 2014

The Inhumans to me are basically what if David Bowie had invented the X-Men in 1978.
posted by middleclasstool at 4:47 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Pineapple pizza ( indeed complex toppings in general is a modern thing) is post WW2

"No, you can't have that to put on your pizza, even if we do give you free dinner." The manager of the Italian place Bucky worked at was a formidable looking but secretly kind woman with a soft spot for him, which explained why he hadn't been fired. "Look, if you need something to make a horrible pizza combination, just take some of whatever vegetables we have left at the end of the day, all right?"

Bucky proudly presented this to Steve, who rolled his eyes but dutifully ate it. Food was food. And when he kept doing it, Steve actually started asking for some of them. The chef, a laconic man who hid behind his wife and claimed to speak far less English than he actually did, started setting aside bits of this and that for Bucky's pies: a few clams, a couple slices of salami, a perfectly good egg that came out looking funny, some peppers, and once, a couple spoonfuls of calf brains.

Steve got his comeuppance after two months of this when he got a job as a soda jerk at the drugstore across from their apartment, or at least he would have, if all of the combinations of leftover pie filling, scrapings from the bottoms of cobbler pans and stray pieces of cake and ice cream or soda hadn't been pretty delicious. Bucky's favorite thing started to be to come in before his shift at the restaurant, the end of Steve's at the drugstore, and get a shake with rocky road ice cream, Turkish coffee and whatever bits and pieces were left at the bottom of all the pie tins, which the waitress, a pretty girl with round cheeks and a crush on Bucky, always put aside for him.

Lifetimes later, he and Sam stopped for lunch at a tiny town that hadn't existed back in the 40s, one of many tiny collections of villages in the middle of nowhere that had sprung up around the vast expanse of the American Interstate system. Sam ordered a milkshake, and when the waitress-- a girl with round cheeks, an easy smile and a tattoo of vines around her wrist-- asked what kind, he shrugged. "Surprise me."

Steve wasn't sitting where he could see the soda fountain, but even if he had been he wouldn't have recognized the look on the girl operating the soda fountain's face, because he never smiled like that in the mirror. But when Sam offered him a taste of the shake, which seemed to have had a slice of key lime pie thrown into it, everything came rushing back to him.

"You wanted me to tell you about Bucky? About why I need to go after him?" he asked Sam, and told him the story of the pizzas and the milkshakes.

On the way out, he looked over at the fountain. The girl who'd made the shake was leaning against the counter behind her, wiping absently at a cup that was already clean, chatting in a typical teenage fashion with a friend who sat at the bar, drinking a concoction in an unappealing shade of green with about a dozen cherries on top and folding napkins, with a slightly lopsided smile and that best friend look of adoration that teenagers get, the one that said there's nowhere else she'd rather be, even if she had to do work to get away with being there.

Sam caught his eye and must've seen something, because he put his arm around his shoulders and squeezed for a second. "We'll find him. C'mon."
posted by NoraReed at 4:49 PM on October 28, 2014 [22 favorites]

I LOVE YOU NORAREED

(I'm going to go cry over Steve/Bucky fanfic now. And Steve/Sam. And angst/hurt. And Steve/Bucky/supersoldier-levels of calories.)
posted by nicebookrack at 4:52 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

The Inhumans don't just live on the moon (that is, when they aren't living in not-Atlantis in the Atlantic Ocean or floating in the air in a valley in the Andes or the Himalayas). They live in The Blue Area of the the Moon.
posted by straight at 4:54 PM on October 28, 2014

Oh yeah, and then there's the part of the Inhumans that always kind of bums me out.
posted by jason_steakums at 4:56 PM on October 28, 2014

They live in The Blue Area of the the Moon.

Well, they used to. Attilan is a moving city. Now they live in the Hudson River.

Seems like a step down.
posted by painquale at 4:57 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Nobody's mentioned yet that Lockjaw has a tuning fork on the top of his head. That's how you know he belongs to Black Bolt, who also has a tuning fork on his head.
posted by Iridic at 4:58 PM on October 28, 2014 [13 favorites]

NoraReed: *Slow clap*
posted by The Whelk at 4:59 PM on October 28, 2014

Plus, trying to figure out who can do Black Bolt. Somebody with impressive eyebrow action. So again, Colbert.

It has to be someone who can carry a film without speaking a word. Mads Mikkelsen could do it.
posted by homunculus at 5:02 PM on October 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

Oh yeah, and then there's the part of the Inhumans that always kind of bums me out.

Hey, there's a happy ending:


Following the Omega incident, the Inhumans emancipated the Alpha Primitives from their labors and set them free to live as they please in the sub-city beneath Attilan. Having no culture and no knowledge of recreation, many of them have gone about their tasks as usual, despite their freedom. Since it is now illegal to clone replacement Alpha Primitives, their ranks are dwindling.

/gets bummed out.
posted by Artw at 5:02 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Nobody's mentioned yet that Lockjaw has a tuning fork on the top of his head. That's how you know he belongs to Black Bolt, who also has a tuning fork on his head.

/Ironside theme tune noise.
posted by Artw at 5:04 PM on October 28, 2014

I'd like to see a Moon Knight film, perhaps written by Charlie Kaufman.
posted by George_Spiggott at 5:06 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

We must mention the Inhuman Queen Medusa's younger sister Crystal, who first dated the Human Torch (not in the MCU universe!) and then married Quicksilver (superspeed guy in Age of Ultron). They had an Inhuman/mutant daughter together and then a very messy divorce. Then later Crystal married Ronan the Accuser (blue villain guy in Guardians of the Galaxy) in a political marriage, although Ronan was sekritly in love with her.

Marvel romance, everybody!
posted by nicebookrack at 5:12 PM on October 28, 2014

Also I just want to throw in my hope that they don't introduce Ronin in any way because I was SUPER confused by who Ronan was and was like "wtf that is def not Clint" and didn't realize it was with an a until the credits
posted by NoraReed at 5:17 PM on October 28, 2014

Well, It's not as though Lockjaw would be the most unfortunate Inhuman. They've got one guy who's just a door and doesn't even get to chase frisbees or whatever.

I'm gonna run out of favorites in this thread.

A slightly more meta explanation of the Inhumans is that they're an early variation on a theme that Jack Kirby returned to again and again throughout his career: superheroes as gods in a modern mythology. The Inhumans were a race of superpowered people that lived in seclusion in the Himalayas much like Thor's people live in Asgard. The difference though, is that the Inhumans were a sort of mythological blank slate. Since they weren't based on pre-existing myths Kirby was free to go wild and make them as exotic and weird as he could. And he made them plenty weird.

And as others have mentioned here, their significance to the Marvel Movie Universe is that they can be used as a replacement for mutants. If they've been around for all of human history there's a chance that a significant percentage of the Earth's population have some Inhuman DNA in them, and could become heroes or villains (or a dog with a tuning fork on its head) when exposed to the Terrigen Mists.
posted by Kevin Street at 5:20 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

The next Hulk solo movie: Banner is doing the old 70's tv show wandering-about-the-country thing and ends up teaming up with a group of plucky adventurous kids who live in a remote town that's secretly an AIM base led by the Leader and MODOK and employing all their parents, all the while the kids try to keep Hulk out of the sights of the SHIELD agents on his tail, and basically it's 50% The Goonies/50% The Iron Giant and also the Hulk gets to punch the Leader and MODOK in their ridiculous gigantic heads a bunch.
posted by jason_steakums at 5:21 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Actually I am unclear if Black Bolt has a tuning fork sticking out of his head of if it is just costume? There is no way you are telling me that guy with a tuning fork isn't related to "dog" with a tuning fork. Whereas if he just dresses as his dog, um, well, that's pretty unusual.
posted by Artw at 5:33 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Feature films based on 1970s TV versions would be great. A Shazam movie where young Billy and his mentor (named "Mentor") travel the highways and byways of the land in a Winnebago not at all giving the game away with the Captain Marvel lightning chest emblem on its nose retrieving lost dogs and stolen bicycles would be... well, okay, it would suck.

By the way, am I really the only one who thinks Marvel Comics creating their own character named Captain Marvel because they legally could was kind of a dick move?
posted by George_Spiggott at 5:34 PM on October 28, 2014

Whereas if he just dresses as his dog, um, well, that's pretty unusual.

What happens in Attilan stays in Attilan...
posted by Kevin Street at 5:35 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Actually I am unclear if Black Bolt has a tuning fork sticking out of his head of if it is just costume? There is no way you are telling me that guy with a tuning fork isn't related to "dog" with a tuning fork. Whereas if he just dresses as his dog, um, well, that's pretty unusual.

He 100% dresses like his dog, it's part of the costume.
posted by jason_steakums at 5:37 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

The unlikeliest Marvel movies that I think would be genuinely good ideas are Sleepwalker and The Tomb of Dracula.

The MCU needs some more period pieces like Captain America 1, and Tomb of Dracula movies could be set whenever. I want to see an exploitation movie starring Marv Wolfman's Dracula set in 1972.
posted by painquale at 5:40 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

all i care about is none evans with left boob
posted by poffin boffin at 5:42 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

A lot of people are going to say that this is a bad thing in this thread, but I think it's not necessarily comic-films fault that there are no movies about adults doing normal stuff anymore.

I found this last night; Steve Rogers, American Captain. It's an adorable comic based around the conceit that Steve Rogers went to art school pre-Captain America and now draws a diary comic to deal with his PTSD and time-shock. I would watch this movie. Best of both worlds!
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:47 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

I'd give my right arm to be a big teleporting dog.

I've got good news and bad news. The good news is you can keep the arm. The bad news is…

Just get in the car.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:49 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Emily Blunt will play Carol Danvers.

I say this because Blunt is the only major cast member from 2010's The Wolfman (directed by Joe Johnston; also starring Benicio del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, and Hugo Weaving) who has not been in an MCU movie yet. She's due.
posted by Iridic at 5:55 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

Whereas if he just dresses as his dog, um, well, that's pretty unusual

Lots of people like to put their pets in matching sweaters.
posted by octobersurprise at 5:56 PM on October 28, 2014

> "Lesson learned: Never visit Inhumanland, because you'll sit on their chairs and use their cutlery and sleep in their beds, and probably all of it is people, it's PEOPLE ALL THE WAY DOWN."
posted by nicebookrack at 4:46 PM on October 28

Or you'll put a book on a rack and find out the rack is actually a PERSON! Wouldn't that be the creepiest? And --

Oh. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean, um ...

I know some very nice bookr -- I mean, some of my best friends are ... um ...

I'll just see myself out.
posted by kyrademon at 5:56 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh yeah, and then there's the part of the Inhumans that always kind of bums me out.

That's the thing, though. They're not a utopia or the apex of human development - they're a strange, alien society that has intentionally lived apart from the rest of us for millennia. So they've got all kinds of weird and sometimes horrible stuff going on.
posted by Kevin Street at 6:21 PM on October 28, 2014

Emily Blunt will play Carol Danvers... She's due.

Jessica Chastain might be due too.
posted by homunculus at 6:21 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I found this last night; Steve Rogers, American Captain. It's an adorable comic based around the conceit that Steve Rogers went to art school pre-Captain America and now draws a diary comic to deal with his PTSD and time-shock. I would watch this movie. Best of both worlds!

Previously.
posted by homunculus at 6:24 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

The MCU needs some more period pieces

WERE GETTING MORE PEGGY CARTER AND HAYLEY ATWELL KEEPS TWEETING ABOUT HOW MANY TIMES SHE'S INJURED PEOPLE IN FIGHT SCENES

PEGGY CARTER YESSSSS
posted by The Whelk at 6:35 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

I found this last night; Steve Rogers, American Captain. It's an adorable comic based around the conceit that Steve Rogers went to art school pre-Captain America and now draws a diary comic to deal with his PTSD and time-shock. I would watch this movie. Best of both worlds!

Previously.

Goddamit. Now I know how Steve feels. Every new thing he discovers is just taken for granted by all around him.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:38 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

It's Planet of the Hipsters.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:50 PM on October 28, 2014

It's Planet of the Hipsters.

I was in DC a couple of weeks ago. I admit that I checked the Lincoln Memorial to see if it had a monkey head, a la Burton. It did not. But it DID have a hipster beard.

YOU MANIACS! YOU GENTRIFIED IT ALL UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELLLLL!
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:58 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Agent Carter looks to be a version of The Bletchley Circle WITH EXPLOSIONS AND RAYGUNS and I am so happy to be alive in this time. Peggy is back! Howard Stark is back! The Howling Commandoes are back! Maybe we will see Maria Stark or Hank Pym or Coulson's dad or Cold War Winter Soldier or who knows!
posted by nicebookrack at 7:17 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I see someone has brought forth American Captain! Can we be having the rec time for other good Steve fic now please? :D Or any good stuff! When it comes to Avengers, I am omnifanfictual.
posted by nicebookrack at 7:19 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Goddamit. Now I know how Steve feels. Every new thing he discovers is just taken for granted by all around him

There is this storyline where Steve has REALLY INTERESTING OPINIONS on art history and worker alienation and like, art in the age of reproduction and it's both amazing and totally fitting with his FDR New Deal views and background as an art student and it kind of pains me that that's never going to come up in the movies cause DAMN IT IS PERFECT.
posted by The Whelk at 7:26 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Or maybe I should start an AskMe thread to reduce clutter. WHO WANTS AN ASKME THREAD FOR MCU FIC-SWAPPING? That way the people who don't want to know there's fanfic of Corgi Hawkeye can hide from it.

This comment feels uselessly meta now, so: have some Mean Girls / Avengers fanart!
posted by nicebookrack at 7:27 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

In my head , since Howard Stark is basically Howard Hughes, Maria Stark would have to be some amalgamation of actual good influences on Howard Hughes/Stark and I've been listening to You Must Remember This' " The Many Loves Of Howard Hughes" so Maria would have to be some combination of Jane Rusell, Katherine Hepburn and Ida Lupino - In my head she's a singer, independently successful, and the only person who can actually stand up to Howard. I figure Tony is living out his father's damage, so maybe Maria was the Tony and Hiward was Pepper. Eh? Eh?
posted by The Whelk at 7:31 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

But yes, American Captain just underlines how we'd all love just Steve talking to his therapist for an hour.
posted by The Whelk at 7:33 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Disney needs to hire George Dunkley. No excuse not to. A simple little fan comic adds so much depth to the cinematic universe, connecting the films and their characters together in unexpected and organic ways that have nothing to do with powers or enemies. Some real talent, there.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:35 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

We know virtually nothing about Maria Stark née Carbonell in comics canon, which gives me (and any Marvel writers reading this thread, HELLO THERE) carte blanche to make her the undercover alien assassin wizard inventor spy she should be.

It's also fun teasing out the bits of Tony that aren't 100% Howard Stark 2.0 and going "YUP, THAT BIT'S MARIA."
posted by nicebookrack at 7:36 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

( also for MCU fic, well Fast Break At Tiffany's, Nat and Clint have a little adventure.)

It'd been like a year since I've seeked out MCU fics so I'd really want recs.
posted by The Whelk at 7:37 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I kind of hope they don't use Maximus as the villain in The Inhumans, or they retool him, because he'd really come across as a second-rate Loki in the movieverse.

And actually I hope they mess around with the history of the Inhumans and the Eternals to tighten things up quite a bit because there are a lot of similarities between the two groups and having them both would probably get confusing to audiences. "The Celestials genetically modified ancient proto-humans creating the Eternals (some of whom went to live on Saturn's moon Titan, eventually spawning Thanos and his brother, The Living Roofie) and then some time later Kree scientists capture an Eternal and decide to dick around with human genetics creating the Inhumans and then also even later the Kree accidentally give Carol Danvers her Captain Marvel powers" could probably use some streamlining.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:38 PM on October 28, 2014

Maybe Maria is a Hedely Lamarr type, in Hollywood cause of her beauty but not of it, with lots of patents back in Italy or whatever, maybe the control and hyper focus and authoritarian impulses in Tony are all Howard, but the whimsy, overindulgence, the egoism, the theatricality and pure unmitigated spark of genius comes his frustrated mother who was just great at everything she did but no one gave her any respect for it cause she was a pretty lady.
posted by The Whelk at 7:43 PM on October 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

And Howard falls for this Maria cause he acknowledges another weird, unstable genius not being respected and acknowledged. Boom, there.
posted by The Whelk at 7:44 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

An In-Depth Look At Each Of Marvel’s Huge Phase 3 Films (And What They Mean For All Comic Book Movies)

"Okay, let’s just get this right out of the way: Benedict Cumberbatch has not been officially confirmed for Doctor Strange... Which means, hallelujah, there’s still time for them to cast Oded Fehr or Pedro Pascal. Do you hear us, Marvel?"
posted by homunculus at 7:46 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I really want them to go to the time travel well on Agents of SHIELD just once so they can drop in on 1940s Peggy Carter and make a stop in the 50's for the Agents of Atlas and the 60's for Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine and a thinly-veiled original Nick Fury analog doing this. I mean the Time Gem is floating around somewhere waiting to enter the plot, just make it happen.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:59 PM on October 28, 2014

Or maybe I should start an AskMe thread to reduce clutter. WHO WANTS AN ASKME THREAD FOR MCU FIC-SWAPPING?

We had one over a year ago. Might be time for another?

In related news, what do y'all put the over/under at for the number of new Stony slashfics inspired by that scene of Steve ripping a log in half?
posted by Jacqueline at 8:15 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

HOWARD AND MARIA MEET CUTE

-It's a Hollywood Party in 1953, celebrating the release of the Stark-produced GOLDEN BOY, a western with a not so subtle WW2/Captain America analog dishing out justice in the old west. It was part of the nascent psy-ops campaign the newly branded SHIELD was taking against the Soviets so the production was stuffed with ex-SSR folk. No one actually SAYS it's a bad movie but people are drinking a lot and avoiding the subject. Howard, as usual, is fuming in the corner, re-drawing submarine plans in a notebook and being very publicly anti-social. It's a far cry from his wartime playboy days.

A voice calls out over his shoulder.

"Your joints are wrong."

Howard looks up. It's the face of one of the actresses in the film, an Italian war refugee who had a small part singing on stage in a saloon and throwing a flower to the Golden Boy. She had a full martini glass in her hand.

"Now what in God's name would you know about j-"

"X-joints, they're too rigid for the structure your building-" she took a heroic swallow of the martini and pointed to the diagram in his notebook. "You need places to bend and flex, and that heat thing you got there-" She took another sip of the drink. "This is the right idea but you need it to be at the ends, and smaller, so it radiates." The gal finishes the drink and takes a new one from a passing waiter.

"Well my my my you're right." Howard made a few notes on the next page. "It could be twice the size with those ideas, hell it could even fly - I guess you're smarter than you look missy."

The women takes a second, like she's contemplating throwing her drink in his face and says.

"What an awful thing to say Mr. Stark. Some of us had lives BEFORE we came to Hollywood."

She storms off. Howard tells his assistant to get her name and number. The rest is history.
posted by The Whelk at 8:17 PM on October 28, 2014 [10 favorites]

How rad would it be if Kang was the big bad instead of Thanos, all rolling up in his space beanbag chair and temporarily shifting continuity so throughout the course of the movie you get to see a bunch of different Avengers lineups from throughout the history of the comics? All kinds of superheroes who would never ordinarily get on screen in the MCU popping in for cameos. The whole team in their 1960s costumes for a few scenes. It would be amazing.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:20 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm wondering why nothing seems to be happening with George R. R. Martin's Wild Cards. Is it because it's SyFy who optioned it and they can't do one damn thing right? Because in the right hands (I'm looking at you HBO, BBC America, AMC or maybe even Netflix) it would be gold. As it's SyFy though I'm not very hopeful. Think Riverworld.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:22 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Marvel's Hercules (who really really needs a movie. A James Gunn movie. With Amadeus Cho.)

Let's see... what haven't I used... "SQUEE!"
posted by mikelieman at 8:39 PM on October 28, 2014

Remember that time Herc filled in for Thor? Yeah. That.
posted by mikelieman at 8:39 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Darcy needs to pick up Mjolnir, and be found worthy. Even though she can't pronounce it.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:44 PM on October 28, 2014 [9 favorites]

She needs to pick it up totally absent-minded, like she's just picking up something someone dropped.

She's totally confused why people think it's a big deal.
posted by The Whelk at 8:47 PM on October 28, 2014 [8 favorites]

New MCU fic rec AskMe here!

I am stuck at a desk for another two hours, unable to watch magical new video clips of Tony / Steve tension. Please distract me.
posted by nicebookrack at 8:53 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I would also like a show/movie that's just all Darcy and Jane running around doing SCIENCE!
posted by skycrashesdown at 9:00 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Casting the Dr. Strange Film:

(Using a TV background for the cast)
Stephen Strange - Andrew Lincoln
Mordo - Mahershala Ali
Clea - Kristin Bell

(slightly more cinema background)
Stephen Strange - Karl Urban or Michael Shannon
Mordo - Josh Duhamel
Clea - Saoirse Ronan

No matter what:
Dormammu - Benedict Cumberbatch
posted by Ignorantsavage at 9:01 PM on October 28, 2014

Oh man, my very favorite Avengers-specific trope is "[Person] innocently picks up Mjolnir; everyone else freaks out." I even have a fanfic bookmark tag for it. It's such a perfect setup for something hilarious and heartwarming.

And lucky me, it sounds like we're getting a Mjolnir-testing scene in Age of Ultron! I suspect Steve will eventually lift it, plus one surprise character. My money's on JARVISion. (Can robots be "worthy?")
posted by nicebookrack at 9:02 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I've been wanting to write fanfiction about Howard and Maria that takes place during the Manhattan Project, but I basically have a lot of ideas about Los Alamos that come from studying it a lot in college and spending some time there and not a lot of ideas about what to actually happen in the story, except possibly have Feynman fucking with Stark a lot and Lesley Groves ripping his hair out. I have a LOT of questions about MCU Manhattan Project, actually, because frankly I don't see Stark meshing well with the rest of Earth-1218's project scientists; Oppenheimer's force of personality really held a lot of the project together and was a lot of why the people who joined did so. A quick search of the Marvel wiki reveals there is an Oppenheimer in 616, or there was, since he'd have to exist for them to make evil versions for heroes to beat up. But I feel like there's some resemblance between Stark and Oppenheimer already.

I would love a sitcom that is just about what Darcy gets up to the rest of the time. Like, superhero stuff seems to happen around her sometimes, but I want to know about her life, because she is wonderful and hilarious.
posted by NoraReed at 9:04 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I want my one shot mini "Someone tries to explain the internet to Steve Rogers."

Steve Rogers gets a Metafilter account.. Steve tries to use Ask Metafilter to figure things out. SRogersNYC Asks "What is Gluten Free?"
posted by The Whelk at 9:05 PM on October 28, 2014 [8 favorites]

except possibly have Feynman fucking with Stark a lot

*high pitched noise only dogs can hear*
posted by The Whelk at 9:06 PM on October 28, 2014 [6 favorites]

Wouldn't it be great if an episode of Agent Carter featured an appearance by a female mathematician and computer scientist who isn't named but is obviously Grace Hopper?
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:07 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

This thread is actually making me want to write fanfic, which is something I've literally never done before.
posted by skycrashesdown at 9:08 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

does Darcy have like, a job? A Government pension? What is HER DEAL? Like she was too close to the situation in New Mexico to ignore but like ...what is she doing with herself?

I realized I answered this question in FANFIC but still
posted by The Whelk at 9:08 PM on October 28, 2014

I would love a sitcom that is just about what Darcy gets up to the rest of the time. Like, superhero stuff seems to happen around her sometimes, but I want to know about her life, because she is wonderful and hilarious.

Darcy's extremely exasperated SHIELD shadow all trying to hide behind a newspaper a couple tables away at Starbucks and cringing every time she almost drops a state secret in the course of casual conversation.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:08 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

which is something I've literally never done before.

*breathy villain voice* the disease s already inside you
posted by The Whelk at 9:09 PM on October 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I would love a sitcom that is just about what Darcy gets up to the rest of the time.

The Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's daughter tag on AO3 has some good Darcy-centric stories.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:12 PM on October 28, 2014

I would love a sitcom that is just about what Darcy gets up to the rest of the time. Like, superhero stuff seems to happen around her sometimes, but I want to know about her life, because she is wonderful and hilarious.

I want this so much! I really enjoy the way Avengers fandom has embraced Darcy as a quirky outsider coming-of-age POV. The Darcy Fanlore article has a great description of it under the "Darcy as Mary Sue" section.

Sometimes I forget that Darcy has (sadly) only existed and appeared in two movies, because she fits so perfectly in relation to other characters in this universe. Can you imagine her reaction to Tony Stark or Natasha Romanov or Nick Fury? YES, you can.
posted by nicebookrack at 9:13 PM on October 28, 2014

Sadly the greatest possible storyline for an Inhumans film can't be done because Fox owns the rights to all the mutant characters. I'm referring, of course, to Kieron Gillen's infamous pitch for a Dazzler miniseries.
posted by Uncle Ira at 9:14 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Darcy actually has a passive superpower; she's slightly clairvoyant, sort of, except she doesn't know it. She just happens to be around when Asgardian action happens. Interference doesn't work; she can't say when stuff is gonna happen, but if someone's gonna fall to Earth somewhere near her, she might get an urge to be there, or to be somewhere they'll go. She's actually in Las Vegas for a friend's Bachelorette party when the stuff with Lorelei goes down.
posted by NoraReed at 9:17 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

My favorite fanfic trope is still Steve the accidental hipster, both in his food choices and fashion sense, but also like, trying to go back to his old neighborhood and like retro Captain American kitsch IS A THING and now the OG 1940s stuff is really valuable and a cultural touchstone and he has to deal with the fact that ....wait when I was punching Hitler and being a literal comic book character overseas that was a big cultural THING to a lot of people and the character of Captain America was really important and it wasn't just stupid dancing monkey showbiz.

Like my favorite thing about MCU Steve is that he got his start in a USO show.
posted by The Whelk at 9:17 PM on October 28, 2014 [10 favorites]

(AHAHAHA I PITCHED A DAZZLER SERIES WHERE SHE"S EDWINA MONSOON ON A REALITY SHOW LIKE SO YOU WANT TO BE A SUPERHERO I LOVE HER)
posted by The Whelk at 9:18 PM on October 28, 2014

I would like to point out my fanfic Avengers Novella predicted the Steve/Bucky thing (and gave me the confidence to write actual books!)

"So, how's the show?"

Steve shrugged his shoulders. "They took a lot of stuff from the newsreels. I don't remember them being this ...cornball."

Tony sat on the couch next to him. "Much in the same way fish are unaware of the concept of water."

Steve didn't flinch. "I don't like the guy they got to be me, he's too boxy."

"Well you have to admit you're kinda boxy all over."

"And Bucky is wrong, he's too tall and angular. And light haired, Bucky was practically Greek. And he's NOT FUNNY." Steve added a noise of a complete surprise, as if it was clearly obvious how wrong this was. "Everything was a joke, he always had one waiting. This guy is half silent killer and half ...Jimmy Olson or something."

Tony took a very long, slow sip of his drink. They are officially in dangerous waters.

"You two were good ....friends?"

The only steve/bucky fanvid you need
posted by The Whelk at 9:27 PM on October 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

The SECOND Steve/Bucky fanvid you need. BROOKLYN, BABY
posted by nicebookrack at 9:30 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

(sigh always Bucky Barnes never a bride)
posted by The Whelk at 9:30 PM on October 28, 2014

That Dazzler story by Gillen is now canon in my head and you can't make me give it back!
posted by nicebookrack at 9:40 PM on October 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I submit that Captain America 3 still has room to be any of these films.
posted by casarkos at 9:47 PM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

The realization that BLACKAGAR BOLTAGON could actually sing with Dazzler in the room, transforming what would otherwise be catastrophic violence into beautiful light, is FANTASTIC.
posted by straight at 9:52 PM on October 28, 2014 [10 favorites]

Darcy thinks the Avengers are all big aloof sticks in the mud because they are so she persistently wears them all down into agreeing to have a normal Thanksgiving together, even Fury. Tony gets all cocky trying to cook the turkey because cooking just comes down to simple scientific principles I mean how hard could this be and oh god why is it burning this is why I have robots to cook for me and Bruce and Jane's constant suggestions and theories about what he's doing wrong are not helping. Steve bakes an amazing pie and rocks an apron. Thor gets really into football while Natasha, Clint and Phil are just trying to watch the game (although Phil had to get a few drinks down Natasha and Clint before they loosened up and stopped obviously studying the players' moves like it was a training film). Fury is dangerously close to crazy uncle territory and Darcy thwaps him when he starts talking about crazy government conspiracies because it's a holiday, we aren't here to talk about work. Selvig is the best at parties.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:55 PM on October 28, 2014 [21 favorites]

After the third "Sir, you are making a fire" message from JARVIS, Nat takes Bucky, who she can tell is getting tense around that many people he has to be social around, and makes him come with to make a quick run to her apartment; they're comfortable being silent in each other's company and it was clear Bucky needed the break.

What surprised them is that they got back 45 minutes later with a perfectly seasoned, fully cooked turkey, which Bucky confirmed Natasha had taken out of her fridge, though he could not attest to the veracity of her claim that she had made it, and she shrugged when Tony teased her about buying it. When Clint asked her later why she'd made a backup turkey, she insisted that it didn't count as a backup because she knew Tony cooking would go catastrophically wrong somehow.
posted by NoraReed at 12:48 AM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

Since there are no mutants in the Marvel films, I assume Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are going to be Inhumans. And since their famous mutant father in the comics won't be there, I wonder if they'll be revealed to be the long lost children of Black Bolt instead.
posted by homunculus at 1:11 AM on October 29, 2014

I approve of today's announcement.

For phase four I would love to see Alpha Flight (seriously, it's diversity bingo-winning stuff), Nextwave and Speedball (or Ms Marvel.... whichever). And Warren Ellis' Moon Knight.
posted by Mezentian at 3:19 AM on October 29, 2014

Also ROM: Space Knight.
posted by Mezentian at 3:20 AM on October 29, 2014

I'm not excited about either a Civil War or Ragnarok storyline

I mean sure, it probably won't have Beta Ray Bill or Frog Thor, but I pity the fool who doesn't love Walt Simonson's Ragnarok storyline. So good.
posted by Mezentian at 3:25 AM on October 29, 2014

Since no one seems to have posted it: Agent Carter teaser.
It's subtle, but I think it gets across the message that she's a woman in a man's world.
posted by Mezentian at 4:00 AM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

If it does have Beta Ray Bill my head might explode from pure joy, but really, any movie that has Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston and Anthony Hopkins performing this scene is one I'm watching on opening day.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 4:14 AM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

> the Best Batman Movie is actually Die Hard With a Vengeance

You know, that's entirely possible. Considering that there's nobody called "Mr. Bond" in The Rock, and it's still the best Bond movie.
posted by jfuller at 4:25 AM on October 29, 2014

OMG! Did I imagine a DALEK in the latest SHIELD?
(About the 18:20 mark, on the small screen, as Fitz is looking at the old Hydra tech).
posted by Mezentian at 4:49 AM on October 29, 2014

any movie that has Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston and Anthony Hopkins performing this scene is one I'm watching on opening day.

Any movie series that contains that scene, and this one with Skurge (more here, if you need context), and Tatiana Maslany deserves all the awards.
posted by Mezentian at 4:51 AM on October 29, 2014

Oh man. Sadly Gjallerbru is from an entirely separate arc but if they can work it in....hoooooly crap.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 4:57 AM on October 29, 2014

Considering that there's nobody called "Mr. Bond" in The Rock, and it's still the best Bond movie.

Wow, I didn't predict this thread would make me angry.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:11 AM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Will we like you when you are angry?
posted by Mezentian at 5:58 AM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

Considering that there's nobody called "Mr. Bond" in The Rock, and it's still the best Bond movie.

Wow, I didn't predict this thread would make me angry.

It is of course actually XXX: State of the Union.
posted by Artw at 6:30 AM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

Oh man if the logo for the agent carter series is going to be the SSR eagle my workout shirt is going to be a lot more explicable
posted by The Whelk at 6:31 AM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

DC desperately needs goofiness. I humbly request a B'wana Beast movie.
posted by yeolcoatl at 6:45 AM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

This has been a surprisingly helpful thread. Especially the stuff about the Inhumans, which I was unclear on.

(Until recently, I'd read stuff like Sandman, Invisibles, Transmetropolitan, Preacher... no Marvel stuff. I had a basic pop culture familiarity with the X-Men. But I started playing Marvel Heroes 2015 and picked up a Marvel Unlimited subscription and have been confused a bit by some of the references and characters/groups that the Guardians and Carol Danvers have encountered. It's starting to become more clear.)
posted by Foosnark at 6:55 AM on October 29, 2014

Until recently, I'd read stuff like Sandman, Invisibles, Transmetropolitan, Preacher... no Marvel stuff.

Marvel and Image dominate my comics purchases while Vertigo is barely to be seen - 90s me would be very confused.
posted by Artw at 7:19 AM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

Anyone care to speculate who Peter Quill's secret alien daddy is? The dad's apparently NOT going to be J'son of Spartoi (oh that apostrophe) like it is in the comics. Pragmatically thinking, it's probably someone tied to the Inhumans or Thanos.

On the one hand I kinda want the dad to be Thanos's brother Starfox/Eros, because of the hilarity of Starlord's dad being a sleazy space Casanova. The pelvic sorcery is genetic! But on the other hand I kinda don't want Starfox to exist in the MCU (or at all), because you've got Thanos, the Avatar of Death, and his brother is Slimy the Space Roofie? REALLY? Thanos is bad, but at least he doesn't psychically force people to love him.
posted by nicebookrack at 7:37 AM on October 29, 2014

My money is on either an essentially new character with J'son's name (if even that) or Adam Warlock.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 7:43 AM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

My question is, do they plan to bring the greatest Marvel supervillain of all time into the MCU?

I am, of course, referring to Elsie Carson.

Elsie was a Hydra leader who joined Hydra solely and explicitly because they offered health insurance. She was an expert martial artist, popular leader, and she brought in home-baked pastries for her minions. When the Supreme Hydra orders her death, she flees. In a station wagon. With her husband and kids.

Everything about her is amazing.
posted by kyrademon at 8:22 AM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

I was excited to hear that Nightcrawler is coming out this weekend, then disappointed to learn it has nothing to do with Kurt Wagner.
posted by ogooglebar at 8:32 AM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

i know its just mean
posted by The Whelk at 8:34 AM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Elsie was a Hydra leader who joined Hydra solely and explicitly because they offered health insurance.

Well, that's just stupid. Everyone knows AIM has the better health insurance. Hydra doesn't even have dental.
posted by entropicamericana at 8:34 AM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

The pelvic sorcery is genetic!

"Haven't you ever wondered why people are inexplicably drawn to you Peter?"

"I thought it was my good-natured charm and strong jawline!"
posted by The Whelk at 8:35 AM on October 29, 2014

Hydra doesn't even have dental.

Hydra has the best dental plan. Pull out one tooth, two more take its place.
posted by Servo5678 at 8:38 AM on October 29, 2014 [32 favorites]

Yeah, but consider the working environment. Hydra has middle managers; AIM has MODOK. Advantage: Nazis.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:39 AM on October 29, 2014

The Serpent Society offers imprisonment insurance along with comprehensive health. All you have to do is observe Society bylaws and adopt some kind of snake gimmick.
posted by Iridic at 8:55 AM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

not a bunch of whiny middleclass middleaged people talking about their feelings.

Uh, are you talking about Boyhood? Which I admit, was all right. But I can't think of another movie this year I watched that I had middle-class middle aged people.
posted by FJT at 9:05 AM on October 29, 2014

Corgi Hawkeye

Whaaaaaaaaaat? I feel like this slipped by with way too little fanfare.
posted by kmz at 9:42 AM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Watch The Brand-New Clip From Avengers: Age of Ultron And The First Agent Carter TV Spot

Watch The Avengers: Infinity War Teaser Trailer Unleash Thanos
posted by homunculus at 10:16 AM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Everyone knows AIM has the better health insurance. Hydra doesn't even have dental.

It's a push there. According to Death of Wolverine: Deadpool and Captain America it is canon that AIM does not cover dental.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:21 AM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Well, crud. According to Wikipedia, AIM did at one time. I blame MODOKcare.
posted by entropicamericana at 10:23 AM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thanks, Obama.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:30 AM on October 29, 2014

Organism Behind Authorization of Medical Assimilation?
posted by zombieflanders at 10:34 AM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

Oh god that Agent Carter teaser has got to be the worst thing Marvel has ever put out.

Sometimes, the best man for the job . . .

(sexy legs putting on sexy stockings)

IS A WOMAN!
posted by Think_Long at 10:34 AM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

>> Corgi Hawkeye

kmz: Whaaaaaaaaaat? I feel like this slipped by with way too little fanfare.

Corgi Hawkeye: And I'll cross oceans like never before
Bonus Corgi Coulson: There's a Dog-Related Pun in There Somewhere (Don't Worry; Tony's On It)
Both are Clint/Coulson, AKA the greatest ship ever featuring two characters who shared an onscreen phone call once.
My personal favorite "Hawkeye and Coulson turning into things" round: Shapeshifting and Shenanigans. LADYHAWKE CLINT/COULSON!
posted by nicebookrack at 10:57 AM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Hydra has the best dental plan. Pull out one tooth, two more take its place.

I'm going to un-favorite that just so I can favorite it again.
posted by Foosnark at 12:10 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

Captain Marvel AKA Carol Danvers, the MCU's first woman titular hero

You seem to have misspelled Miss America AKA Madeline Joyce, the star of 1944's single-issue run of Miss America Comics and the slightly longer-lived successor title, Miss America Magazine.

Or, if you were excluding "Golden Age" comics (which only REALLY fit into the MCU via retcon anyway), you could have meant The Cat, AKA Greer Grant, Shanna The She-Devil AKA Shanna O'Hara, and the kind of cringe-worthy Night Nurse AKA Linda Carter, all three of whom were given their own titles in 1972 and who are as solidly (if less popularly) planted in the MCU as Carol Danvers.
posted by snottydick at 12:31 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm hoping a terrigen bomb will be the event that sets off the superhuman registration act...
posted by Strass at 12:33 PM on October 29, 2014

Marvel Cinematic Universe. Not the first to get a self-titled series in the comics.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:37 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm hoping a terrigen bomb will be the event that sets off the superhuman registration act...


There is a very odd shot of something that could be smoke or mist in the second scene of the first Age of Ultron trailer. It strikes me as odd because it's looks shoehorned into the whole "things are being destroyed" scheme, in the sense that it's the aftermath of something, but we don't see what's caused the mist/smoke. And it has an orange color. In the comics the mist is blue, but that wouldn't look good against blue sky, sooo...maybe it's the Mist or I'm thinking too hard.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:41 PM on October 29, 2014

And actually I hope they mess around with the history of the Inhumans and the Eternals to tighten things up quite a bit because there are a lot of similarities between the two groups and having them both would probably get confusing to audiences.

Wow. I forgot that Thanos is an Eternal. That is a mess. In addition to Namor's actual Atlantis, Marvel has (at least) two other completely different Hidden Lost Cities of Ancient Advanced Races. There are the Inhumans (Black Bolt, Medusa, Crystal, Karnak, Gorgon, Lockjaw) who are sort of equivalent to X-men in power level, and then there are the Eternals (Zuras, Ikaris, Kronos, Makkari, Sersi, Eros, Thanos) who are more cosmic and godlike (at the level of Thor or the Silver Surfer) and who, while obviously based on (or supposedly inspirations for) Greek gods, are separate from the actual Greek gods (Zeus, Hercules, Ares, etc.) who also exist in the Marvel Universe as sort of an equivalent to the Asgardians.

If they're gonna make an Inhumans movie, I think they've either got to conflate the two and say that Thanos is an Inhuman, or just make Thanos an alien and forget about the Eternals entirely.
posted by straight at 12:43 PM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

No Hellcow?

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.
posted by brundlefly at 12:53 PM on October 29, 2014

Bessie is canonical!
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:54 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

There are the Inhumans (Black Bolt, Medusa, Crystal, Karnak, Gorgon, Lockjaw) who are sort of equivalent to X-men in power level, and then there are the Eternals (Zuras, Ikaris, Kronos, Makkari, Sersi, Eros, Thanos) who are more cosmic and godlike (at the level of Thor or the Silver Surfer) and who, while obviously based on (or supposedly inspirations for) Greek gods, are separate from the actual Greek gods (Zeus, Hercules, Ares, etc.) who also exist in the Marvel Universe as sort of an equivalent to the Asgardians.

I'm pretty new to superhero comics, but I love how the Marvel universe has pretty much everything in it.
posted by brundlefly at 12:54 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Bessie is canonical!

Holy shit!
posted by brundlefly at 12:55 PM on October 29, 2014

There is a very odd shot of something that could be smoke or mist in the second scene of the first Age of Ultron trailer

There's debris falling from it, and what looks like an explosion in the previous scene (albeit with a pause b/t the two.) I think this is just supervillainry and not a long con for Phase Four.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:02 PM on October 29, 2014

Bessie is canonical!

This right here is why I need Agents of SHIELD. I know in the big fancy movie MCU, I'll never get the wonderful silliness of Frog Thor or the Microverse or attack koala bear bombs. But someday I might get Frog Coulson!

(or Corgi Coulson)
posted by nicebookrack at 1:06 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yes, but an orange cloud? Sure it looks like debris, but it could be mist. And that explosion in the previous scene has a scifi look and sound to it, not a normal explosion.

I Want To Believe.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:07 PM on October 29, 2014

I don't know whether the cloud is scifi, but I took the orange tint as just the same magic hour/color graded look as the first shot.

Speaking of the first shot, what explosion? Am I missing something there?
posted by brundlefly at 1:22 PM on October 29, 2014

Note how the first scene appears out of a glowing ball of orange? I think that's an explosion.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:29 PM on October 29, 2014

Ah. I took that as a lensflarey sort of transition. Not sure, though.
posted by brundlefly at 1:32 PM on October 29, 2014

Marvel Cinematic Universe. Not the first to get a self-titled series in the comics.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:37 PM on October 29 [1 favorite −] Favorite added! [!]

I was reading the "C" as comic, because I'm a dope.
posted by snottydick at 1:35 PM on October 29, 2014

Corgi Hawkeye: And I'll cross oceans like never before

That was adorable. And then very hot.
posted by Jacqueline at 1:43 PM on October 29, 2014

"I prefer to call it the Marvel Kinetoscopic Universe!"

-Turner D. Century
posted by Iridic at 1:46 PM on October 29, 2014 [9 favorites]

I'm pretty new to superhero comics, but I love how the Marvel universe has pretty much everything in it.

There's also a secret valley in Antarctica where dinosaurs roam, and the Deviants (monstrous brothers of the Eternals) who sank Atlantis and still haunt their ancient cities under the sunken continent of Lemuria.

Anyway, I agree with straight. Some streamlining is definitely in order here if you want a mythology that will make sense in the Cinematic Universe. I'd try to make it as simple as possible, while still including things that have already been introduced.

So... Millions of years ago, the Celestials visited Earth and mucked about with our DNA to create the first Inhumans. Then they left, and much later the Kree wandered by. The Kree noticed that the Celestials had been here, and kidnapped a few sample creatures for further study. The Earth Inhumans eventually developed the Terrigen Mists and got superpowers, while out in space the Kree experiments produced Thanos. In this new continuity there's no Eternal characters, and any interesting Eternals are now just Inhumans.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:55 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Do we know which studio has the rights to Longshot and friends in the Mojoverse? Because an alternate dimension of reality-TV obsessed death gladiators genetically engineered to have giant hair could be an...interesting MCU addition. ("ZOMG they're ripping off 'Hunger Games!'")
posted by nicebookrack at 2:50 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

They're X-Men characters, so it's probably Fox.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:55 PM on October 29, 2014

> Actually this reminds me that it is heartbreaking that FF are not in the rights universe, because the Yancy Street Gang and Ben Grimm (and Sue and Reed!) cannot be left out of the Civil War.

Oh man, I had no idea. Now I what really want is a Gene Kelly style dance movie about Ben Grimm and Les Heroes de Paris called "A Thing in Paris."
posted by homunculus at 3:55 PM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

CORRECTION: Yesterday, I wrote

I'm hoping Black Panther embraces near-future sci-fi, myself.

Instead of "near-future sci-fi," I should have written "Afrofuturism." We regret the error.
posted by Iridic at 5:19 PM on October 29, 2014 [8 favorites]

Yessssssss
posted by The Whelk at 5:24 PM on October 29, 2014

Do we know which studio has the rights to Longshot and friends in the Mojoverse?

I have a fan-script I've been tinkering with, because it beats doing something productive with my life, that pits Mojo as the sole defender of his universe against the Brood, which were engineered by the Celestials to take control of the one universe in the Multiverse that was constant and unchangeable - it was inhabited by pleasant little blobs of intellect. The Soft Ones, the Spineless.

Then the Spined Ones (brood) arrived, and the innocent, happy, bouncing along in an infinitely pleasant and constant universe Soft Ones had to adapt or die.

Mojo and Arize adapted quickly. It made them insane. The nature of their universe, tapped with techno-magic, made them powerful. They shoveled the Brood back to our universe, and declared war on the Celestials, and Knowhere is one of the results of Messing with Mojo. Only concerted and constant effort from celestials and more powerful entities keeps Mojo at bay... except the little trap the Celestials laid for him on earth. Television, echoing into Mojoverse, corrupting everything... especially Mojo.

This was all revealed to Beast, who had once offered him his soul to save mutant-kind. Mojo tells him this horrible, heart-rending story, where TV's in the background show the X-Babies, with almost every member current and former represented as a cute tyke, tricking or pulling one over on Mojo, with "Ratings", displayed on the monitors, pegged almost universally in the "everyoe conscious watches it" part of the gauge. Mojo notices Hank watching his own baby-self pants Majordomo, and drops the bomb: "I saved you all, you're all right here, sweet and innocent, and you will be for as long as I exist... and now I own your soul. I would like you to use it to forgive me, because I can't."

Only it turns out to be Mystique, not Hank, which gets the US Gov't into a lot of trouble, enter Freedom Force! The finest heroes your tax dollars can buy.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:51 PM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

re: Age of Ultron
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:18 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

STEVE: [breaks a log with his bare hands]

TONY: [looks Steve up and down appreciatively, begins questioning his own sexual orientation]
posted by Jacqueline at 7:44 PM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Steve has a dark side. His name is Bucky. I'm hoping this Steve-as-boy-scout thing is just Tony, and not Whedon's writing, but given the last Avengers I'm not expecting much.

Sam Wilson is pretty much dark side free so far, though, and aside from the major "soft spot for Loki" thing, Thor is so light side he resembles Baldr more than any mythological Thor. Or a Labrador.
posted by NoraReed at 8:10 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Read These Comics to Prepare for the Next Five Years of Marvel Movies

(What, no Avengers Annual 10?)
posted by Mezentian at 1:21 AM on October 30, 2014

Well movie Steve's dark side is also his distressingly suicidal sense of bravery ( really? The only thing you have to offer people is your willingness to die for them?) and the fact that these victories keep getting taken away from him . There's the very real danger of the world's mightiest idealist becoming bitter.
posted by The Whelk at 5:54 AM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

There's the very real danger of the world's mightiest idealist becoming bitter.

A good thing he slept through the Bush years!
posted by Mezentian at 6:24 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

(It's striking how many times the military/industrial complex is the villain in these movies.)
posted by The Whelk at 6:29 AM on October 30, 2014

I mean the meta-message of WS is : the world can only trust America again if it dismantles its terrifying military surveillance structure.

Also Steve only gets what he wants in the worst way possible.
posted by The Whelk at 6:31 AM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

(What, no Avengers Annual 10?)

If you wanted to sum up what I love about the MCU, you could do a lot worse than "Hellcow is in continuity but Marcus never existed."
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 6:31 AM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

WS and the Iron Man films actually set up Tony and Steve pretty well on opposite sides of the Military Industrial complex, if they were planning some movie that, I dunno, set them at odds against each other for some reason.
posted by Artw at 6:33 AM on October 30, 2014 [4 favorites]

( really? The only thing you have to offer people is your willingness to die for them?

Yes. He was kicked around in his formative years, constantly told what he can't do, with the bitter knowledge that he really couldn't. His mind was strong, but the body was weak.

Fighting and proving himself might be all he knows.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:02 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Abraham Erskine: Do you want to kill Nazis?
Steve Rogers: Is this a test?
Abraham Erskine: Yes.
Steve Rogers: I don't want to kill anyone. I don't like bullies; I don't care where they're from.
posted by Artw at 7:14 AM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Remember Tony threw himself on that nuke grenade too, Steve.
posted by nicebookrack at 7:18 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Remember Tony threw himself on that nuke grenade too, Steve.

That's great, until Tony wants to tell or force everyone with super powers they should throw themselves on the grenade. Cap doesn't like bullies and Tony is definitely one, at times.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:31 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Being a billionaire definitely puts him on the 'bully' end of the spectrum, at least as far as the morality of MCU seems to be concerned.
posted by Think_Long at 7:37 AM on October 30, 2014

Ooh what if this version of Civil War is The New Deal vs. Silicon Valley Libertarianism
posted by jason_steakums at 7:39 AM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]

Tony is a charismatic, good looking genius, who has no problem using his wealth and smarts to throw his weight around, usually for good means. For someone like Steve, who spent his formative years being kicked around by bullies, even though he knew they weren't any better than him, just stronger, that will grate.

The two of them will always have tension between them, despite Tony finding the self sacrificing hero within himself in Avengers. Steve will grate on Tony because Tony knows he's smarter, funnier, richer etc, but Steve has a good points and he's goddamn Captain America, something Tony can never be and that will grate on Tony's nerves like nothing else. When Steve is in the room, there's someone who people might find interesting and/or inspiring and it's someone that Tony doesn't think should outline him.

I can't wait until Tony meets Rocket Raccoon. If he thought Steve was annoying...!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:45 AM on October 30, 2014 [4 favorites]

I can't wait until Tony meets Star-Lord!
posted by Pendragon at 7:57 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

Ooh what if this version of Civil War is The New Deal vs. Silicon Valley Libertarianism

The villain could be a new Kree lunatic: GaltRand the Hoarder!
posted by middleclasstool at 7:59 AM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Tony also leans more self destructive - he may be more willing to die than willing to die for people.
posted by Artw at 8:09 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

I think his self-destruct instinct is more a function of his natural depressive egomania than it is about noble heroics. He jumps on the grenade to prove that he's the guy who would jump on the grenade.
posted by Think_Long at 8:13 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

Tony is a charismatic, good looking genius, who has no problem using his wealth and smarts to throw his weight around, usually for good means. For someone like Steve, who spent his formative years being kicked around by bullies, even though he knew they weren't any better than him, just stronger, that will grate.

So I was...not exactly bullied, but kind of a weirdo kid who always felt like an outsider. Got an ingrained distrust of the Beautiful People, the local wealth and power structure, at a very young age. I've long preferred hanging out with artists and makers and nerds and weirdos. But my own life has become as mainstream and white and button-down as it gets, to all outward appearances: corporate job, three-bedroom house, captoe shoes, tweed. The usual failed writer story. Most of my friends are still nerds and artists, but professional and some personal circumstances have brought me closer to the city's power structure.

Lately I've formed a very strong bond with a guy who comes from one of those families, and this guy has become one of the best and most reliable friends I've ever had. He's done me a world of good and has proven to be one of those "three-in-the-morning-phone-call" kind of guys. I love him. Yet every time he introduces me to people from his world, a part of me still inherently recoils. These are good people, no more or less fundamentally damaged than I am, yet there is a smell and a sound of privilege about them, a privilege I also have but am conscious and even ashamed of. So my instinct is to stand in judgment, to keep my distance, to pretend I don't come from that world. Fighting through that and getting to know the actual person there requires conscious effort every. Single. Time. Shit from childhood runs deep.

This is the thing I've come to love about the Steve/Tony dynamic. The whole "science bros" thing with Banner is heartwarming, but there's more drama to mine with Tony's relationship with Steve. It's the most natural thing for Steve (or anyone) to wonder if Tony would give him a second look were it not for his power, or for that matter to wonder how much of Tony's sheltered, fancy life assumptions really changed in that cave. To wonder if he's driven to do good for its own sake or to prove that he is really as wonderful as he appears to think he is (as, on preview, Think_Long points out).

As for Steve, it's not like he has anything to prove, but that scared and indignant bullied kid wasn't burned out with the serum. And that's not just fuel for fighting bad guys and sticking up for the weak. It's also a pretty damn strong motivation to ignore or distrust anyone with power even when they're extending a hand of help or friendship to you.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:28 AM on October 30, 2014 [7 favorites]

Absolutely, Think_long. Tony would have dived on that grenade as quickly as Steve, but in the moment before he did so he would have registered (1) Peggy is watching, (2) this is a test, (3) I'm going to pass it, (4) Colonel Phillips and Dr. Erskine are also watching.
posted by straight at 8:33 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

> "Ooh what if this version of Civil War is The New Deal vs. Silicon Valley Libertarianism"

"This is a new paradigm, Steve. Adapt or die." *POW!*

"It's a taxi company, Tony, and it needs to be regulated like any other taxi company!" *BIFF!*

"Are you actually defending something as corrupt as the medallion system? Pretty strange bedfellows you've got there, Captain!" *ZZZAPP!*

"So you want to - ugh! - replace it - oof! - with an unlicensed cadre that answers to no one? We've been down that road before, and it doesn't go anywhere good." *WHAM!*

"The traditional taxi companies dug their own grave, Steve! With poor customer service and bad policies! This is better! This is the future!" *BLAM!*

"You can talk as much as you want, Tony, but none of it's going to change the fact that they use a nontransparent algorithm that can increase prices by up to 800 percent during peak demand. In America, we should be able to know in advance how much it's going to cost us to get downtown ... but I suppose that's something a guy like you would never understand."
posted by kyrademon at 9:19 AM on October 30, 2014 [12 favorites]

I think it's going to be more Tony on the side of regulatory capture.
posted by Artw at 9:30 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

A thought I had today at the kitchen sink, "Disney owns both Sam the Eagle and Sam (Wilson) the Falcon"
posted by mikelieman at 10:23 AM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Muppet Avengers should really be a thing.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:41 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Sam the Eagle as Cap. The Swedish Chef as Thor...
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:21 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Nah, Cap wouldn't be Sam the Eagle. He's a lot closer to Kermit.
posted by tavella at 11:41 AM on October 30, 2014

Kermit is the everyman and lone voice of sanity, ergo Kermit must be Coulson... Lew Zealand as Hawkeye, Animal as Hulk...
posted by entropicamericana at 11:42 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, Sam the Eagle is Nick Fury.
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 11:43 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Miss Piggy as Black Widow. Gonzo as Iron Man.
posted by kyrademon at 11:43 AM on October 30, 2014

THAT ME SECRET, KERMIT
ME ALWAYS ANIMAL
posted by jason_steakums at 11:45 AM on October 30, 2014 [18 favorites]

Bunsen Honeydew as Erik Selvig.

I'm actually thinking Scooter as Coulsen.
posted by kyrademon at 11:46 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Scooter fits better for Coulson, yes. Now that I'm thinking about it, Rowlf is probably the best fit for Cap. Good guy, surprisingly talented, calm in the face of absurdity.
posted by tavella at 12:09 PM on October 30, 2014

The personality doesn't fit, but Kermit has to be Frog Thor.
posted by nicebookrack at 12:13 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

Greg the Bunny as Clint.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:21 PM on October 30, 2014

I can't wait until Tony meets Rocket Raccoon. If he thought Steve was annoying...!

I can't wait until Tony meets Star-Lord!

I can't wait until Tony meets Gamora.

posted by Jacqueline at 12:50 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Relevant to any discussion of Steve vs Tony RE grenades + flinging:
- Steve's own suicidal self-destructive streak for which he stubbornly tries to get himself killed or maimed all the time
- Tony flying the nuke through the portal is a near-perfect mirror of Steve flying the plane into the ocean, without the getting to say goodbye to Peggy/Pepper or otherwise announcing "please pay attention to me, I am probably about to die"

Honestly: any member of the Avengers with a healthy sense of self-preservation, please raise your hand. NOT SO FAST THERE, CLINT
posted by nicebookrack at 12:55 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

I suspect Iron Man and the Winter Soldier will never be BFF in the MCU, but one thing I need for Christmas before I die is a scene of Tony and Bucky ganging up on Steve to drag him off some attempt at noble, grisly martyrdom. "No, Steve, you are not going to run directly up to the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and punch it in the face; we are going to stand here far away and THROW BOMBS at it."

(then Bucky runs up and punches it in the face, but it's with his metal arm, so that's okay)
posted by nicebookrack at 12:56 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

"please raise your hand if Steve Rogers has ever done something self-destructively heroic for you personally."
posted by The Whelk at 1:08 PM on October 30, 2014

"Okay, please raise your hand if Steve Rogers has done something self-destructively heroic for you personally today."
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:31 PM on October 30, 2014 [4 favorites]

I can't wait until Tony meets Gamora.

So what's the story with Tony and Pepper in the comics? I'm guessing broke up, hence the Tony and Gamora hooking up, but one never knows!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:46 PM on October 30, 2014

So what's the story with Tony and Pepper in the comics?

Tony and Pepper's romantic relationship is more of a thing in the MCU, probably due to the chemistry between RDJ and Gwenyth Paltrow.

In the comics, Pepper is married to Happy and Tony has a variety of romantic relationships that never work out (with a disturbingly large number of his girlfriends committing suicide, getting murdered, or trying to murder him).

I think that Tony and the widowed Pepper might have hooked up once during or shortly after the Civil War, but I'm not sure if that actually happened or is just a fanfic trope? Regardless, their comics versions are not shacked up or otherwise in a serious relationship like in the MCU, although there are some hints that Tony has feelings for her so who knows what will happen in the future.
posted by Jacqueline at 2:12 PM on October 30, 2014

I think they were involved during or shortly after Matt Fraction's run? It didn't last.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:15 PM on October 30, 2014

Ooh what if this version of Civil War is The New Deal vs. Silicon Valley Libertarianism

Does that mean Thanos would represent the Dark Enlightenment?
posted by homunculus at 2:17 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Widowed Pepper? Does that mean Happy died?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:40 PM on October 30, 2014

Yup and it was very sad :(
posted by Jacqueline at 2:42 PM on October 30, 2014

Apparently they almost killed him off in the MCU, too.
posted by Jacqueline at 2:48 PM on October 30, 2014

I am mortally afraid the apparent lack of Paltrow in Avengers 2 will mean Pepper has vanished into ex-girlfriend-land and spell the end of Pepper-Tony. They are my Tracy-Hepburn. I'd rather recast than be Pepperless.

Though I can see Civil War arising from "JARVIS turned into JARVISion, and Pepper moved to DC to become Secretary of State, and there is no one left to remind Tony to not microwave tinfoil or cause World War III."
posted by nicebookrack at 2:51 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Pepper goes on ONE overseas tour of the Stark factories and Tony causes WW3
posted by The Whelk at 2:53 PM on October 30, 2014 [4 favorites]

Reminds me of the most Tony Stark-ish gif of all the Tony Stark gifs.
posted by Jacqueline at 2:55 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

IIRC Happy's hospital scene in Iron Man 3 has Happy watching a scene from Downton Abbey about the chaffeur's romance with his rich female employer—alluding to the comics Happy/Pepper relationship. Movie Happy's secret unspoken love!
posted by nicebookrack at 2:58 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Does that mean Thanos would represent the Dark Enlightenment?

Isn't Thanos a genius? So, yeah... no. He doesn't.
posted by brundlefly at 2:58 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

the most Tony Stark-ish gif of all the Tony Stark gifs

Tony Stark is my favorite action hero because he is impossibly cool genius badass and hopeless headdesky failure moron, usually at the same time.
posted by nicebookrack at 3:09 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

He's a quippy billionaire super genius who needs constant adult supervision just to open a jar of pickles without blowing a hole in the house.

I mean "Petulent emotional adolescent" Tony is kind of my favorite cause ahaahha have you met rich guys?
posted by The Whelk at 3:11 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

JARVIS has to remind Tony that he had gluten-free waffles for breakfast. Is Tony gluten intolerant? Tony doesn't know.
posted by nicebookrack at 3:18 PM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]

Favorite versions of all the MCU characters? If I like Tony best when he's being a know it all brat, I like Steve best when he's either imploring people to use their moral agency and/or being a complete dork about things. Thor is best when he's being polite in confusing situation ( all those courtly manners used in the most insane places, like hanging his hammer in a hook.) Bruce when he's being rumble passive-aggressive and Nat of course beingSteve's best friend while also pretending she's above it all ( hey. Fun thing to think about Nat and Steve are the youngest Avengers, about the same age. )

Movie Clint doesn't have enough characterization to have best moments so just sub in Hawkguy in there.
posted by The Whelk at 3:27 PM on October 30, 2014

Movie Clint doesn't have enough characterization to have best moments

O RLY?
posted by Jacqueline at 3:34 PM on October 30, 2014

I like Steve best when he's either imploring people to use their moral agency...

His call to arms over the SHIELD PA during the climax of Winter Soldier is just great.
posted by brundlefly at 3:38 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

His call to arms over the SHIELD PA during the climax of Winter Soldier is just great.

I still cry over how scared this guy was. I hope he got out okay.
posted by Jacqueline at 3:42 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

ALL THE FOLLOWERS OF THE CAPTAIN WERE OKAY. Including the air support guys Bucky kicked into giant shredder blades!
posted by nicebookrack at 3:48 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Because you could kind of interperet it as him getting a bunch of people murdered...
posted by Artw at 3:53 PM on October 30, 2014

"HEY! JANITOR! YOU ARE NOW INVOLVED IN A FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE WITH LITERAL NAZIS. THERE'S SOME AT THE END OF THE CORRIDOR, THE GUYS WITH THE GUNS. ACT FAST - THEY KNOW YOU'RE ON TO THEM NOW!"
posted by Artw at 3:55 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Tumblr notes with delight that In the AOU trailer, Hawkeye sticks his tongue out at Thor, and in the AOU scene, the farmlot on which Steve and Tony are chopping wood belongs to Clint.

Old Clint Barton had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
And Farmer Clint became a meme, E-I-E-I-O
posted by nicebookrack at 4:00 PM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]

I guess that explains where the fuck he was during The Winter Soldier. He was busy bringing in the harvest.
posted by Jacqueline at 4:01 PM on October 30, 2014

HYDRA can handle waiting another 70 years for us to bring it down. We have to get this squash crop in before the freeze TONIGHT.
posted by nicebookrack at 4:09 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

PEOPLE! Friends of mine! On Clint's farm, he could have a farm dog!
posted by nicebookrack at 4:11 PM on October 30, 2014 [6 favorites]

Pizza Farm!
posted by Artw at 4:14 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Cap may have gotten some people murdered, but he also allowed them to not be accomplices to the murder of hundreds of thousands, potentially millions of people.
posted by tavella at 4:33 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

Something happens to cause Clint to say this:

Clint: We could use my farm.

*everyone but Nat goes agog.*

Steve: You have a farm?

Clint: Well, hobby farm, it's my family's.

Tony: What do you farm exactly?

Clint: *mumbling* it's mostly used for rehearsal space

Tony: I'm sorry wingman? What?

Clint: They need the space for ...the trapeze and ..stuff

Steve: your family is ...

Clint: *muttering more* ...in the circus...

*everyone but Nat's jaws drop.*

Tony: Circus folk, this explains so much.
posted by The Whelk at 4:34 PM on October 30, 2014 [7 favorites]

I guess that explains where the fuck he was during The Winter Soldier. He was busy bringing in the harvest.

I *heard* that AofU will address and that he was looking for the twins. But internet rumors, so...
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:59 PM on October 30, 2014

Well also, Nat and Clint are the SHEILD liaisons, they're not really part of the disparate group of Supeheros - Nat's there to manage and orient ( her superpower is being good at her job and not having a major personality problem) and Clint is backup - he's only there cause he was guarding the tesseract. It makes sense that Nat would be paired with the only SSR/SHEILD member, Steve, and Clint would be off doing other things - he's more hired hand then anything.
posted by The Whelk at 5:09 PM on October 30, 2014

more hired hand than anything

Bro. Bro.
posted by nicebookrack at 5:25 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

IF YOU TAKE JUST THE MOVIES AS IN AND NO PULLING IN FROM FANDOM OR COMICS then yes he's basically that.

You'll never find a bigger fan of Clint as Hawkguy, Everyman Avenger than me but in the literal text of the movies he's Nat's work friend and sent on various assignments.
posted by The Whelk at 5:27 PM on October 30, 2014

You shut your filthy mouth, he's also Coulson's special phone sex friend
posted by nicebookrack at 5:30 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

(I do like how the sudden, popular, and deeply involved blossoming of Coulson/Clint shows the imagination and creative engery of fandom to create a completely plausible, dramatically and thematically rich relationship out of literally one phone conversation. It seems so retroactively obvious, of course Agent Babysitter with the Cap Thing has a thing with the taciturn sniper with the funny haircut)
posted by The Whelk at 5:42 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

Like it was fascinating to watch the tropes evolve and eventually reach consensus, Coulson was an officious upper middle class type with a slightly doofy dad-joke kind of demenour and Clint was a wandering working class type with a weird backstory and dude-ish demenour and it suddenly just became fanon extrapolating out from literally one conversation into this whole totally plausible and dramatic dynamic and of course they're in love.


I mean duh.
posted by The Whelk at 5:50 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

I never got to see that happen like, before my eyes, you could see tropes come up, become popular or get submerged and the best ones won out, Darwianin-style.
posted by The Whelk at 5:51 PM on October 30, 2014

Well I think at least some of it was if you want to pair Tony with Steve you gotta do something with Pepper so people paired her with Natasha and then you gotta do something with Clint so he got Coulson. It's like shipper musical chairs.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:59 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Coulson was an officious upper middle class type with a slightly doofy dad-joke kind of demenour

1+ seasons of "Agents of SHIELD" later: WE CALLED IT, fandom! Phil's Grumpy Cat coffee mug this week was great.

Clint/Coulson is so much fun. It's my very favorite MCU "characters who have never shared screen time" ship, of which I have many. Who knew there was such a thriving untapped reader market—and high-quality fiction supply—for original gay romance between Unremarkable MIB Guy and Snarky Sniper Dude?
posted by nicebookrack at 6:03 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

You pair Pepper with Hogan! Nat's private life is her own, s there. ( although the trailer seems to suggest a Nat/Bruce thing which ...didn't see that but now kinda into it.)
posted by The Whelk at 6:03 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

if you want to pair Tony with Steve you gotta do something with Pepper

Pepper is in the middle of the threesome giving the instructions and choreographing! Or I have a bookmark tag "Tony has a permission slip." Everyone is poly because Avengers.

There is definitely a Bruce/Natasha Buffy/Angel vibe in the trailer, which I am okay with. Buuuut I still want acknowledgement that Clint is Natasha's platonic Most Important Person, as the anime kids say. Bros before superheroes, Nat.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:14 PM on October 30, 2014

I wrote a two-part fic with Bruce and Natasha, and if those hints dropped in the trailer actually do pay off, I may wind up going back to that well. My heart belongs to Clint/Natasha, though, and although I have bailed on Yuletide this year I'll be writing up something for that pair's holiday exchange. The whole Clint/Coulson thing sort of gently baffles me, although I can see it if it's Clint/Coulson/Natasha somehow. You have to come down off of tough missions some way or another, you know?

Everyone is poly because Avengers.

Truer words...
posted by PussKillian at 7:07 PM on October 30, 2014

when, in WS, we go to Steve's apartment and a record is playing and it's the same record I had him listening to in the Fanic Novella, I thought I was having a stroke.

(Bruce is one of those shipping lego bricks cause despite a stand-alone movie (different actor) he's still kind of unknown so you can click him into almost anyone. I am ..coming around to Nat/Bruce if that's a thing. I can see it.)
posted by The Whelk at 7:10 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

I still want acknowledgement that Clint is Natasha's platonic Most Important Person, as the anime kids say. Bros before superheroes, Nat.

Arguably my favorite part of WS is Steve and Nat. They're such good friends, Nat is really supportive while still proding him and Steve rubs off on her like whoa. They're just great buds without a hint of romance while still being totally being THERE for each other. Like it sucks that a platonic male/female friendship is revolutionary but I really liked seeing that on screen.
posted by The Whelk at 7:14 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Being said I'm also into Clint/Nat being Very Important To Each Other but not Romantic, they're peers, soldiers in arms, with a lot of history between them. But they're not dating. Oh god no.

Nat's private life is just that, let a girl have something for for herself okay?
posted by The Whelk at 7:17 PM on October 30, 2014

Nat's private life consists of meeting Melinda May for an evening of ballet tickets, strangling child traffickers, and hitting sleazy bars to drink gangsters under the table.

Sometimes they pick Maria Hill up from work at Stark Tech and go to IHOP.
posted by nicebookrack at 7:41 PM on October 30, 2014 [6 favorites]

And while I am so so thrilled we're getting a Captain Marvel movie: I still want a movie of Natasha, Maria, May, and Bobbi Morse carving a hurricane path of hand-to-hand destruction. I love them; I want to see them break stuff. Sharon Carter running CIA interference; Jane and Jemma beings Science Buds in the background; Darcy and Skye bonding over Thor's abs and hacking HYDRA iCloud accounts. Then Pepper shows up to be politely snippy at AIM trespassers until she's close enough to set their faces on fire.
posted by nicebookrack at 8:03 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

I'd pay CASH MONEY for Darcey Lewis: Avengers Intern
posted by The Whelk at 8:13 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Did I already say that I want a movie where all the supporting women and love interests get their own movie where they save the world WITH THEIR BRAINS MOSTLY while the Avengers do their Avengers stuff? Sam Wilson can come too.
posted by NoraReed at 8:17 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

Did I already say that I want a movie where all the supporting women and love interests get their own movie where they save the world WITH THEIR BRAINS MOSTLY while the Avengers do their Avengers stuff?

This for me is the annoying aspect of the MCU Avengers - the comics team has had a lot of women on it over the years, most of them top-tier ass-kickers, some of them immensely powerful, as in hold their own with Hulk and Thor powerful. The two Captain Marvels, Monica and Carol, by themselves can go toe to toe with some of the heaviest hitters. Then you have fun, weird characters like Hellcat and Moondragon, and iconic heroines like Tigra and Wasp who get by on smarts and grit. They're also more diverse than the guys - Firebird is a Latina, Monica Rambeau is creole black (and the leader of the team during her stint!)

I'd like to see some of them get their own due, as their own heroes in their own stories, rather than as accessories to the guys. Like a certain lawyer with an odd complexion, she'd make a good start...
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:47 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

Eh. If DC is doing Gotham, Supergirl and (apparently) Krypton, I say Marvel gets Hellcat out there.

Her powers aren't exactly SFX heavy.

Then chuck Valkyrie, Misty Knight and Moondragon in. Maybe Elsa Bloodstone or Clea to replace Dr Strange.

Get some actual Defenders in the Defenders non-team.

Damon Hellstrom, Black Night, Nighthawk and Devilslayer would also work well in a pretty balanced team in there when they fight Null The Living Darkness.

(Gargoyle would be great, but hard to realise).
posted by Mezentian at 1:28 AM on October 31, 2014 [2 favorites]

The Nice Guy Friendzoned By Death story.

Ok, the real reason Marvel needs to get back the Mutant Movie Rights is so when Thanos doffs his cosmic fedora and says, "Behold, M'Lady Death! I have slain half the living beings in the universe. Surely your most devoted admirer deserves...a kiss?" she can turn aside and start flirting with Wade Wilson. And then Thanos starts ranting about how females always choose jerks and ignore the ones who really care about them, who can give them what they need...

And then Carol Danvers breaks his jaw.
posted by straight at 9:48 AM on October 31, 2014 [8 favorites]

And then Carol Danvers Squirrel Girl breaks his jaw.

The Internet Law required this change.
posted by Mezentian at 5:23 PM on October 31, 2014

Good news! We have officially reached Peak Superhero: Fox has actually started making a Gambit film.
For real.

I guess Gambit has a fan?
posted by Mezentian at 5:33 PM on October 31, 2014

Huh. They've been threatening that for ages, never thought they'd pull the trigger on it.

Full on Claremontian dialogue or it's worthless, of course.
posted by Artw at 5:39 PM on October 31, 2014

Thor Doesn't Understand Halloween
posted by homunculus at 6:00 PM on October 31, 2014 [1 favorite]

Full on Claremontian dialogue or it's worthless, of course.

That would actually get me to see this movie. 1980s X-Men were the best X-Men (up until the time they left Australia and Betsy got Asianified). I loved her armoured look.

(Personally, more Claremont in Hollywood is a good thing. It means we might finally get a sequel trilogy to George Lucas' fantasy epic Willow on the silver screen).
posted by Mezentian at 6:00 PM on October 31, 2014 [1 favorite]

I am 100% on board with a Gambit movie as long as it involves fluffy kittens, since Gambit finally outed himself as a crazy cat person. Remy and Hellboy hanging out and cuddling kittens, please!

sequel trilogy to George Lucas' fantasy epic Willow on the silver screen

You mean the Shadow War novels? Please no, those books were depressing as hell.
posted by nicebookrack at 9:51 PM on October 31, 2014 [1 favorite]

I do mean the Shadow War novels, nicebookrack.
They are just next to me, calling to me, singing to me, demanding that I read them and all the purple, wordy prose contained within.

And thence to First Flight!
posted by Mezentian at 10:48 PM on October 31, 2014

And speaking of Hellcat, I just heard Marvel has axed She-Hulk.
Which makes me sad. Her most recent series has been really well done.
posted by Mezentian at 11:03 PM on November 1, 2014

Why Marvel needs to save She-Hulk from cancellation: Marvel shouldn’t let one of its best series disappear
posted by homunculus at 11:31 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I think She-Hulk was probably killed by having Wimberley fill in for Pulido in issues 5 and 6. Pulido's art is wonderfully expressive; Wimberley's is... well, to be polite, let's just say that it's unique. It completely killed my excitement for the series.

Marvel should stop using fill-in artists for books with a unique art style that are just starting to find their feet. Miss Marvel also was hurt in my eyes by having a fill-in.
posted by painquale at 5:39 AM on November 2, 2014

Marvel should stop using fill-in artists

On the other hand, how many months has it been since Hawkeye was a regular book?
As a kid at the newstands, I'd forget books if they came out so infrequently, whereas I can forgive awful fill-in issues.

It's 22 pages a month. Artists need to lift their game.
posted by Mezentian at 7:06 AM on November 2, 2014

/G.R.R. Martin marches into the thread, swats everybody with a newspaper.
posted by Artw at 7:20 AM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

/Thread slowly gets away.
posted by Mezentian at 7:25 AM on November 2, 2014

*A Jack Kirby appears*
posted by Mezentian at 7:26 AM on November 2, 2014

On the other hand, how many months has it been since Hawkeye was a regular book?

They should do what Saga does and just build periodic breaks into the process.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:36 AM on November 2, 2014

We must mention the Inhuman Queen Medusa's younger sister Crystal, who first dated the Human Torch (not in the MCU universe!) and then married Quicksilver (superspeed guy in Age of Ultron).

Crystal: a love story

Also Lockjaw, Best Comics Dog Ever, is theirs.

Lockjaw: the world's greatest superhero
posted by homunculus at 4:26 PM on November 2, 2014

They should do what Saga does and just build periodic breaks into the process.

There are quite a few indie books doing that these days, though I expect there's quite a bit more pressure from the big two on hero books. Plus all the books I can think of that do that are creator-owned.

It sucks, though. She-Hulk is a real bright spot.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:35 PM on November 2, 2014

I think fill-in artists make sense on big books like Spider-Man and X-Men which come out multiple times a month. But She-Hulk and Miss Marvel (and Hawkeye and Silver Surfer and Ghost Rider) are part of Marvel's push to give their B-tier heroes to creators with more of an experimental, indie sensibility. It's a great idea and all of Marvel's best comics are coming from this push. But because the titles are so tightly linked to their creators, it's anathema to having fill-in artists. I think Marvel is torn between wanting to benefit from having titles with an indie vibe and wanting to maintain control of their properties and publish at a rapid clip.
posted by painquale at 9:09 PM on November 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Marvel made us comic book nerds, now it wants to make us Comic Book Guy: Keeping up with Phase Three plot lines is going to be harder than you imagine. Get ready.
posted by homunculus at 3:57 PM on November 3, 2014

Doctor Strange Director Teases Doctor Strange: Into Shamballa
posted by homunculus at 4:07 PM on November 3, 2014

Jessica Chastain Knows About ‘Captain Marvel’ – But Will She Take The Role? 'Whatever it is, I want a fight scene,' Chastain told MTV News.
posted by homunculus at 4:11 PM on November 3, 2014

There are the Inhumans (Black Bolt, Medusa, Crystal, Karnak, Gorgon, Lockjaw) who are sort of equivalent to X-men in power level, and then there are the Eternals (Zuras, Ikaris, Kronos, Makkari, Sersi, Eros, Thanos) who are more cosmic and godlike (at the level of Thor or the Silver Surfer)

Lockjaw vs. the Silver Surfer
posted by homunculus at 5:00 PM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Movie Clint doesn't have enough characterization to have best moments so just sub in Hawkguy in there.

I like that in The Avengers every other member of the team gets their own little intro.

We see Nat be an excellent spy and kick some ass
Then Nat talks to Bruce and we a sense of just how dangerous HE is
We go check in with Tony so we can all get reminded of how awesome he is
Flip over to Steve and the whole Previously on Captain America bit
A little later we get Thor thrown in the mix where Loki basically says, by way of introduction, "he is literally the Norse Thunder God, Thor." Then Thor gets to kick a little ass.

But before ALL of that the camera basically just pans over to Hawkeye where he waves and says, in the boring and flat possible voice, "Hi. I am also in this movie." And some nonsense about his weird eye condition (maybe he is just farsighted?) and that's pretty much it.
posted by VTX at 5:51 PM on November 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Warner Bros. layoffs expected to begin today

CEO Kevin Tsujihara announced last month that the studio aims to reduce costs by $200 million annually, which will be used to fund an ambitious film and television slate that includes at least 10 DC Comics-based films, J.K. Rowling’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them series, and more LEGO offerings.
posted by Artw at 6:39 AM on November 5, 2014

Alex Abad-Santos: The insane, sexist history, and feminist triumphs of Captain Marvel

In 1980, Carol Danvers was part of perhaps the most irresponsible story Marvel Comics has ever put to paper. The plot involved kidnapping, inter-dimensional roofies, and rape and it ended with Danvers riding off into the sunset with her rapist as her Avengers teammates wiped away tears of joy.

Today, however, Carol Danvers is Captain Marvel, a feminist icon in her self-titled comic book. And in 2018, she is going to be Marvel's first female superhero since 2005 to have her own movie.

Danvers' rise through the Marvel-sphere is, in many ways, the story of women in comics in miniature. And it starts where those stories often started: with the woman as an admiring, leggy love interest.

posted by zombieflanders at 7:37 AM on November 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Some brief clips from Ant-Man and Avengers released by Marvel.
posted by audi alteram partem at 7:59 AM on November 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Ah man, fucking Jim Shooter. When you have Chris Claremont calling you on your sexist bullshit that's really something.
posted by Artw at 8:27 AM on November 5, 2014

Chris Claremont was doing "Strong Female Protagonists are feminist, right? (and also really hot)" long before Joss Whedon.
posted by straight at 8:41 AM on November 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

He's the proto-Whedon, yes. But in his comic he wrote in response to the Marcus bullshit he's just righteously angry.
posted by Artw at 8:45 AM on November 5, 2014

Chris Claremont was doing "Strong Female Protagonists are feminist, right? (and also really hot)"

He was also doing ordinary female protagonist, full stop. De-Powered Storm beating the everloving christfuck out of Scott Summers for leadership of the X-Men completely defanged that trope - she was smarter and more motivated than Cyclops. It was blatant how non-sexed her victory was. Punk, biker leathers, not fetish leathers. Claremont whining endlessly at his editors, "Why can't she be a woman? Why can't he be black?" until they gave in.

Byrne is your villain for X-ploitation there, and even then, it's conflicted. Yes, She-Hulk is crudely sexualized during his run. Yes, Byrne wrote and drew stories well beyond that, that emphasized she was an accomplished lawyer and a deliberate heroine who made her own choices. We know now what he was into and going about, but it's unlikely he himself did at the time, yet he was still able to work with women characters beyond those limits, and breathe more life into them than was previously allowed.

In short, enjoy your favorite characters blossoming into being alongside their creators... it's a real rush! Get angry if they backslide.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:24 PM on November 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

He's the proto-Whedon, yes. But in his comic he wrote in response to the Marcus bullshit he's just righteously angry.

I was, maybe, 13 or 14 when I picked up Avengers Annual #10 secondhand (it's missing a few pages), and in addition to it being my favourite Avengers Annual (although, to be fair, Atlantis Attacks et al were over the horizon) I was a teenage boy in the mid-80s and I could even see the Marcus story was a smidge off.
posted by Mezentian at 12:36 AM on November 11, 2014

Hey, speaking of Howard the Duck...
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:42 AM on November 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

The comic, Howard's first starring role since a 2007 miniseries, will be written by "Sex Criminals" artist Chip Zdarsky

SOLD.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:45 AM on November 21, 2014 [1 favorite]