Real science, all the way from Scotland.

November 11, 2014 10:25 AM

Acute effects of a deep-fried Mars bar on brain vasculature

The actual medical research paper is, however, behind the usual academic research paywall but the pithy yet informative link provides sufficient insight on this complex yet challenging phenomena.

posted by infini (29 comments total)

... or porridge!
posted by louche mustachio at 10:33 AM on November 11, 2014

Next up: Science determines whether Irn-Bru is really made from girders.
posted by sobarel at 11:03 AM on November 11, 2014 [4 favorites]

The study should've used frozen Skor bars for a control group.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:03 AM on November 11, 2014

a bolus of sugar and fat

"Honey, are there any cookies left?"
"No, I self-administered a bolus of butter and chocolate last night."
'..."
"For science."
posted by specialagentwebb at 11:11 AM on November 11, 2014 [10 favorites]

Conclusion Ingestion of a bolus of sugar and fat caused no overall difference in cerebrovascular reactivity, but there was a modest decrease in males. Impaired cerebrovascular reactivity is associated with increased stroke risk, and therefore deep-fried Mars bar ingestion may acutely contribute to cerebral hypoperfusion in men.

Well, I've lived a good life. Death by deep-fried Mars bars doesn't sound so bad...
posted by Sangermaine at 11:20 AM on November 11, 2014

Amazingly, I have lived in Scotland for eight years and am yet to see anywhere (bar one tourist place) that sells deep-fried Mars bars. However, I did try a deep-fried pizza with chips (French fries or "Glasgow salad") once.
posted by kariebookish at 11:21 AM on November 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Deep-fried Irn Bru-coated balls of butter is a thing.
posted by colie at 11:26 AM on November 11, 2014

Unless you're eating one of them every single day this doesn't sound like anything worth getting worried about. Even in the US, where state and county fairs are notorious for deep-frying just about any food they can fit in a fryer, eating something with this much fat and sugar isn't a daily thing.

Or at least I hope it isn't.
posted by tommasz at 11:32 AM on November 11, 2014

Amazingly, I have lived in Scotland for eight years and am yet to see anywhere (bar one tourist place) that sells deep-fried Mars bars.

Last time I was in Edinburgh there was a place with a banner outside proclaiming availability of Battered Mars Bars (Broughton St in the New Town I think?) and there was a chippy I saw doing them in East Kilbride so they do exist here and there, but very much as a novelty item (and a lazy way for comedians and the tabloids to have a pop at the Scots).
posted by sobarel at 11:42 AM on November 11, 2014

sobarel: "Last time I was in Edinburgh there was a place with a banner outside proclaiming availability of Battered Mars Bars (Broughton St in the New Town I think?) "

Yep, the 'disco chippy' at the top of Broughton Street (it has a DJ on Fri/Sat nights, a club underneath and sells beer) used to advertise this. They don't anymore.

Most places will do it if you ask, but it's a gimmick and a punchline for Telegraph columnists, not a regular part of anyone's diet. Deep fried pizza on the other hand, well, a bunch of people eat that. And it is delicious. I limit myself to once every 2-3 years these days.
posted by Happy Dave at 12:01 PM on November 11, 2014

Ha! Our library recently received a request for this article. It was so good, I had to tweet the title.
posted by haunted by Leonard Cohen at 12:02 PM on November 11, 2014

deepfriendmarsbar

Truly, could friendship be any deeper?
posted by zamboni at 1:00 PM on November 11, 2014

help, edit window, it was aliens controlling my fingers on the keyboard, i swear...
posted by infini at 1:14 PM on November 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

Aliens or the military industrial fat complex.
posted by arcticseal at 1:23 PM on November 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

"We used transcranial Doppler ultrasound to calculate Breath Holding Index as a surrogate measure of cerebrovascular reactivity. Change in Breath Holding Index post-ingestion was the primary outcome measure."

Breath Holding Index? Extensive Googling has not revealed if this is something I can do after a heavy meal to monitor my brain function.
posted by CCBC at 1:36 PM on November 11, 2014

I'm guessing breath holding index is a measure of how long you can hold your breath, before and after the meal? Because if your brain is working, it's taking oxygen, and all else being the same then any differences could be explained by the difference between porridge and mars bars?
posted by YAMWAK at 1:42 PM on November 11, 2014

I shallow fry my mars bars because cerebral hypoperfusion scares me.
posted by srboisvert at 1:42 PM on November 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Uh, I mean that if you don't reoxygenate the blood then the reduction of oxygen in your blood would correlate to brain function?
posted by YAMWAK at 1:44 PM on November 11, 2014

Probably the decrease in brain vascularity in males is due to the massive erection we immediately crack when we hear deep fried Mars bars are on the menu.
posted by turbid dahlia at 1:51 PM on November 11, 2014

I shallow fry my mars bars because cerebral hypoperfusion scares me.

Mine go on the George Foreman grill and I just drink what puddles in the grease catcher because I'm on a keto diet.
posted by turbid dahlia at 1:53 PM on November 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

I've never understood the outrage at the deep-fried Mars bar. If someone ate, say, a Mars bar and a donut, it would hardly be front page news. A little like the KFC Double Down, where the meat became the bread, if someone had actually put a bun around the thing, it would have just been a double chicken burger with bacon, no big deal.

Full disclosure: I had a deep-fried Mars bar at a Canada Day midway two years ago and I have thought about it just about every day since.
posted by looli at 2:06 PM on November 11, 2014 [4 favorites]

"Look, some people like deep fried things!" Yes, of course, many people--most people--have brains that happen to respond very favorably to fat, sugar, salt, and things that combine all three. The reason a battered and fried candy bar gets this treatment and a White Russian cupcake doesn't has nothing to do with health and everything to do with class.
posted by Sequence at 3:12 PM on November 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, but what did they say about deep fried macaroni and cheese pies?
posted by scruss at 3:34 PM on November 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

they are proof that god is real and loves us
posted by poffin boffin at 5:47 PM on November 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

iirc the fried Mars bar originated in Hull, not in Scotland.
posted by longbaugh at 5:59 AM on November 12, 2014

I had the pleasure of trying deep-fried key lime pie cheesecake at the state fair this summer and I could have died right then of pleasure.

The only problem is that now when people ask me what my favorite food is, I have to say "deep-fried key lime pie cheesecake on a stick" and then think about how rare it is to be able to find it.
posted by Juliet Banana at 8:25 AM on November 12, 2014

I AM JUST SAYING if you buy a deep fryer you can have all your favourite state fair items in the comfort of your own greasy delicious home
posted by poffin boffin at 1:23 PM on November 12, 2014

yamwak: The BHI is coupled to tests like TransCranial Doppler which uses a sensor attached to a certain part of the head and sound is transmitted and listened to and the carbon dioxide in the blood does something something I-don't-have-a-clue. But the machinery seems not all that complex (think of a stethoscope attached to an electronic metering device) so might could be tinkered together. I would like to know if there is some non-mechanical test for arterial clogging or whatever but even if there was, I'm not sure I'd know what to do with it.

But I think the very idea of a Breath Holding Index is awesome.
posted by CCBC at 2:08 PM on November 12, 2014

poffin boffin reminds me of the time a younger me got invited to a girl's night out with a bunch of girls I did not know well and the whole point of the party was that they had one of those kitchen deep fryers and everything you could possibly think of, and basically I was too nervous about eating something greasy in front of other women at that stage of my life to indulge and I still regret it.

Now really tempted, given that my life has been serious suck lately--I lost two family members in the space of a month--to say fuck it and just buy one.
posted by Sequence at 2:21 PM on November 12, 2014