It's all about the water in your head

November 24, 2014 5:12 AM

Lost your car? This might help. Just "do the damned experiment".
posted by HuronBob (30 comments total)

random unscientific detail, but this does _not_ work with the old two button subaru keyfobs.

it works with every other one i've ever tried dramatically boosting the range, but not those.

i have no idea why, and it sucks because those things had terrible range from day one, but it just doesn't. so yea, if you have an older subaru and you try this and it does nothing... know that it isn't because this trick doesn't work, those keyfobs are just crap no matter what and nothing can help them.
posted by emptythought at 5:16 AM on November 24, 2014

I read that as "Lost your cat?" Kind of a let down.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:21 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

It works for cats ONLY if you have the original factory key-fob.
posted by HuronBob at 5:23 AM on November 24, 2014 [14 favorites]

This does seem to work with the keyfob to my '01 GTI. Stand x-feet away, push the unlock button...Nothing. Stick keyfob against my chin, push button...Car unlocks.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:24 AM on November 24, 2014

Quick googling told me that "legacy" Subaru key fobs are at a different frequency, which probably affects things.

He didn't mention this, although he kind of alluded to it (and the text in the link completely omits it), but conservation of energy still applies. The total amount of signal at the radius of the car is still the same or even less than before. But some of the energy that was going sideways is instead being re-radiated by the water, so it goes forward and adds constructively.

What this means is that his range has decreased elsewhere. Rotate the experiment 90 degrees (or better yet, in 1-5 degree increments) and map the whole thing. Instead of being circular, it'll have bumps and dips.
posted by DU at 5:29 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]

I assumed the trick was some weird neuro thing that implied that pressing your keys (befobbed or not) to your head would magically make you remember where you parked. Disappointed.
posted by HeroZero at 5:30 AM on November 24, 2014 [9 favorites]

He says, "Do the damned experiment!"

Damn straight!
posted by tickingclock at 5:39 AM on November 24, 2014

In my experience, pointing some keyfobs at any body part seems to help, not just the head
posted by muddgirl at 5:44 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

The body/water ratio technique was used back in the late '50s with the Regency TR-1 handheld transistor radio and one of its most famous imitators, the Sony TR-63, which eschewed the additional expense and weight of antennas by figuring listeners would hold the speaker to their ear like a walkie-talkie, and could "sharpen" the signal by pivoting or otherwise shifting their stnding position.
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:49 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]

This also works with garage door openers.
posted by blue_beetle at 5:54 AM on November 24, 2014

Way back when this was being discussed on the Straight Dope message boards, one theory that seemed to be borne out by similar experimentation was that keyfob antennas suck, and that raising it up to your chin not only brought it higher in the air but also turned it around to a side where the signal possibly wasn't as blocked. Those who tried it reported similar results whether it was actually touching their chin or not.
posted by Ian A.T. at 6:05 AM on November 24, 2014

I've been doing this since the 90s, when the legend was it helped "boost the battery" if you held it under your chin. (It was most necessary when your battery was fading out, so ...) I'm interested to finally see how it works!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:27 AM on November 24, 2014

I know this is a pretty played-out joke, but I sincerely want to know who the first person was that tried this, and what they were thinking by doing so.
posted by penduluum at 6:48 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

Way back in the early nineties and for a very brief period of time, I worked at a car dealership. Been holding key fobs up to my neck ever since.
posted by jsavimbi at 6:53 AM on November 24, 2014

My key fob is a beer bottle opener from Belize.
It doesn't seem to help.
posted by SLC Mom at 7:01 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

Next: Pressing remotes next to your head causes memory loss.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:07 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

This had no effect whatsoever on my vehicle, but now I'm telling complete strangers my deepest secrets.
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:20 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

Top Gear reported this about 10 years ago.
posted by parmanparman at 8:28 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

I first encountered this on Boing-Boing some years back, and the assumed reason at that time was that eyeglass frames acted as a booster antenna.

So now at least I know I don't need to touch my glasses anymore. OTOH, I now also know I'm uncomfortably close to psychically communicating with my Kia Optima, which is not someplace the rebellious teenager I used to be would ever have wanted to imagine himself.
posted by lodurr at 8:58 AM on November 24, 2014

It also helps if you crow like a rooster and spin counter-clockwise three times.
posted by briank at 9:07 AM on November 24, 2014

Does this work with wifi?
posted by ana scoot at 9:21 AM on November 24, 2014

This was frequently the only way I could ever find my PoS GTI back in the 90s. It absolutely worked.

I kinda miss that car now....
posted by Thistledown at 9:43 AM on November 24, 2014

"It's all about the water in your head"

Does this work with whisky?
posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:42 AM on November 24, 2014

I've been going this fr a lomg time andit hasnt afecte me its fun
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:53 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

conservation of energy still applies. The total amount of signal at the radius of the car is still the same or even less than before. But some of the energy that was going sideways is instead being re-radiated by the water, so it goes forward and adds constructively.

Not necessarily. What you are talking about is antenna gain, in which radiated energy is focused in a particular direction. There may be some of that effect, but the greater effect is the increase in antenna efficiency, which means more radiated energy in all directions.

The efficiency of antennas in small devices like a fob are very low, perhaps only 10% or 20%. The rest of the energy driven by the transmitter is absorbed by the circuits and materials in the fob and just generates heat. Holding the fob to your head increases the efficiency of the antenna so that more energy is actually converted to radiation, so the radiated energy in all directions is greater.

So, yes, there is conservation of energy, but more of that energy is now radio waves instead of heat, so the signal is stronger in all directions.
posted by JackFlash at 11:26 AM on November 24, 2014

I've never had issues with the car key fob, but I sure hope this works with my garage door opener that seems to have an effective range of about 10 feet from the door, even with fresh batteries.
posted by ctmf at 11:31 AM on November 24, 2014

As heard on Car Talk
posted by TedW at 11:55 AM on November 24, 2014

Wow, thanks HuronBob. My remote fob has been dying the last few months, to where I've had to hold it almost touching the car to make it unlock. But I tried this one weird trick, and now I can unlock the car from the other end of the driveway.
posted by straight at 1:42 PM on November 24, 2014

In my experience, pointing some keyfobs at any body part seems to help, not just the head

It doesn't even have to be your body parts! Any startled passer-by with slow reflexes will do.
posted by FatherDagon at 4:25 PM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]

Just tell your damn chauffeur to open the door already.
posted by Devonian at 7:44 AM on November 25, 2014