Carol how hungover are you
March 4, 2015 8:59 AM Subscribe
This is wonderful. ANNA GO TO BED
posted by davidmsc at 9:04 AM on March 4, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by davidmsc at 9:04 AM on March 4, 2015 [3 favorites]
So many terrifyingly giraffe like lesbians.
posted by PMdixon at 9:05 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by PMdixon at 9:05 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Ahoy! (There, I said it.)
posted by chavenet at 9:08 AM on March 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 9:08 AM on March 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
I was a little "meh," then I got to "Oh man I got an F on my witch test" and I fell in love.
FELL IN LOVE!
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:10 AM on March 4, 2015 [11 favorites]
FELL IN LOVE!
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:10 AM on March 4, 2015 [11 favorites]
Look the first rule of Hat Club is.....
posted by The Whelk at 9:11 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 9:11 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
Ugh...Carol. EVERY TIME.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2015
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2015
Holy shit Greg go inside.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2015
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2015
Don't say it! Now Whelk, you know the second rule of Hat Club!!
posted by wenestvedt at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2015
posted by wenestvedt at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2015
For better or for worse, the Ortberging of the internet continues apace.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:14 AM on March 4, 2015 [25 favorites]
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:14 AM on March 4, 2015 [25 favorites]
I think I might need to learn to sew just so I can find that cassock pattern and go to town. Fake Priest Town.
posted by penduluum at 9:16 AM on March 4, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by penduluum at 9:16 AM on March 4, 2015 [8 favorites]
You’re just a city boy
Your pants don’t even go in your shoes
Did... anyone else... have to stop themselves from singing this to "Don't Stop Believing?"
No? Really?
What a bunch of liars you are.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:17 AM on March 4, 2015 [16 favorites]
Your pants don’t even go in your shoes
Did... anyone else... have to stop themselves from singing this to "Don't Stop Believing?"
No? Really?
What a bunch of liars you are.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:17 AM on March 4, 2015 [16 favorites]
Kelly
There’s literally only one rule to Hat Club
YOU HAD ONE JOB KELLY
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:30 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
There’s literally only one rule to Hat Club
YOU HAD ONE JOB KELLY
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:30 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Samurai in the streets...
Robert no
... ninja in the ...
god dammit bobby swear to god
... ninja in the sheets betty
posted by boo_radley at 9:34 AM on March 4, 2015 [20 favorites]
Robert no
... ninja in the ...
god dammit bobby swear to god
... ninja in the sheets betty
posted by boo_radley at 9:34 AM on March 4, 2015 [20 favorites]
St. Peepsburg: "Kelly
There’s literally only one rule to Hat Club
YOU HAD ONE JOB KELLY"
Great now the Hat Club Elders are here Kelly
posted by boo_radley at 9:35 AM on March 4, 2015 [7 favorites]
There’s literally only one rule to Hat Club
YOU HAD ONE JOB KELLY"
Great now the Hat Club Elders are here Kelly
posted by boo_radley at 9:35 AM on March 4, 2015 [7 favorites]
Pajama golf is my favorite type of golf.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 9:43 AM on March 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 9:43 AM on March 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
For better or for worse, the Ortberging of the internet continues apace.
I'd say for better. By 2017, Ortberg will be a commonly used verb.
(Anyone else look at some of the sizing info on the patterns? For Simplicity in the late 40s/early 50s/60s, a 30 inch bust was a size 12, 31 inches a size 13, and 36 inches was size 18. But by the late 60s/early 70s, a 32.5 inch bust put you in a McCall's size 10.)
posted by maudlin at 9:46 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'd say for better. By 2017, Ortberg will be a commonly used verb.
(Anyone else look at some of the sizing info on the patterns? For Simplicity in the late 40s/early 50s/60s, a 30 inch bust was a size 12, 31 inches a size 13, and 36 inches was size 18. But by the late 60s/early 70s, a 32.5 inch bust put you in a McCall's size 10.)
posted by maudlin at 9:46 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
These were very funny! Did anyone else read So great in the voice of Tiffany from Daria?
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:51 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:51 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh god this is good.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:57 AM on March 4, 2015
posted by Navelgazer at 9:57 AM on March 4, 2015
I really needed this today. Thank you!
posted by rtha at 10:06 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by rtha at 10:06 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
Really good, and now I want to sew again.
"Take me to the light! I see the vampires!" (A quote from somewhere else.) Show me the pattern for this.
posted by Oyéah at 10:07 AM on March 4, 2015
"Take me to the light! I see the vampires!" (A quote from somewhere else.) Show me the pattern for this.
posted by Oyéah at 10:07 AM on March 4, 2015
Lunches? But pajama golf tee off time is 6:00 AM.
posted by tommasz at 10:08 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by tommasz at 10:08 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Those, like, coats? That are like, like, ponchos? With, like, arm holes? Those need to come back please, because they are awesome.
No, you shut up.
You're wrong.
What are you even talking ab--
UPPER ARM MOBILITY, SHMUPPER SHMARM SHMOSHMILITY!!!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:24 AM on March 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
No, you shut up.
You're wrong.
What are you even talking ab--
UPPER ARM MOBILITY, SHMUPPER SHMARM SHMOSHMILITY!!!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:24 AM on March 4, 2015 [4 favorites]
"I'm into doorknobs now."
Aren't we all.
posted by mykescipark at 10:40 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Aren't we all.
posted by mykescipark at 10:40 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
For better or for worse, the Ortberging of the internet continues apace.
If it helps, I laughed more at this than I ever have at any Ortberg thing (which is zero times). Unless this is by Ortberg, in which case, keep improving!
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 10:57 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
If it helps, I laughed more at this than I ever have at any Ortberg thing (which is zero times). Unless this is by Ortberg, in which case, keep improving!
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 10:57 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Those, like, coats? That are like, like, ponchos? With, like, arm holes? Those need to come back please, because they are awesome.
Ask and ye shall receive: McCalls M6446 Cape. It's a link to my Pinterest pin of it, because the pattern's out of print; if someone wants one, you could probably find a used copy somewhere on the web – Etsy, eBay, etc.
posted by fraula at 11:25 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Ask and ye shall receive: McCalls M6446 Cape. It's a link to my Pinterest pin of it, because the pattern's out of print; if someone wants one, you could probably find a used copy somewhere on the web – Etsy, eBay, etc.
posted by fraula at 11:25 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
I was amused. I was chuckling. Then Carol and her bag of trash made me laugh out loud.
posted by chatongriffes at 11:28 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by chatongriffes at 11:28 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
I got an F on my witch test.
Once I figure out if that's good or bad, I'm gonna use that line.
posted by MtDewd at 11:35 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
Once I figure out if that's good or bad, I'm gonna use that line.
posted by MtDewd at 11:35 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
Unless this is by Ortberg
Nope, but some of the cartoons have appeared on the Toast before. Natalie Kossar is the brilliant mind responsible for this.
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:38 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Nope, but some of the cartoons have appeared on the Toast before. Natalie Kossar is the brilliant mind responsible for this.
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:38 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is totally what happens when I take my housemate to a party...
posted by Annika Cicada at 11:44 AM on March 4, 2015
posted by Annika Cicada at 11:44 AM on March 4, 2015
Vaguely Racist Apron Day is the best!
"I cadt breab."
"Whad?"
"I saib, I cadt breab trough by node."
"Forget it Sandra, let's just go. I ain't even taking off my gloves for these bitches."
"Girl, you just been touched by an angel."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:16 PM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
"I cadt breab."
"Whad?"
"I saib, I cadt breab trough by node."
"Forget it Sandra, let's just go. I ain't even taking off my gloves for these bitches."
"Girl, you just been touched by an angel."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:16 PM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
I've actually taken to saving up until there are several to read in succession, which is somehow even more howlingly funny than reading them one at a time as they're posted. You've gotta be pretty stupendously rewarding to goad me into atypical RSS-reading habits, I tell ya.
Also, the only Ortbergian-style pieces that I've loved are the ones written by Mallory Ortberg. Until now.
posted by desuetude at 12:36 PM on March 4, 2015
Also, the only Ortbergian-style pieces that I've loved are the ones written by Mallory Ortberg. Until now.
posted by desuetude at 12:36 PM on March 4, 2015
Is there such a thing as sewing pattern piracy?
There should be.
posted by penduluum at 1:50 PM on March 4, 2015
There should be.
posted by penduluum at 1:50 PM on March 4, 2015
"Is there such a thing as sewing pattern piracy?"
Oh yes, this is apparently a very real concern for some people.
posted by traveler_ at 2:09 PM on March 4, 2015
Oh yes, this is apparently a very real concern for some people.
posted by traveler_ at 2:09 PM on March 4, 2015
By the way, Dress A Day has been doing this for a while.
posted by willF at 2:29 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by willF at 2:29 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Drunk J. Crew is getting so lazy.
posted by clvrmnky at 3:07 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by clvrmnky at 3:07 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
Don’t worry Rick
We’ll find you someone
There’s gotta be a real big lady somewhere
Or maybe a real tiny one?
posted by Room 641-A at 4:08 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
We’ll find you someone
There’s gotta be a real big lady somewhere
Or maybe a real tiny one?
posted by Room 641-A at 4:08 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
I love this so much
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:05 PM on March 4, 2015
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:05 PM on March 4, 2015
wow I just noticed that for the capey things that you actually have to put your hands outside the garment in order to put them into the pockets. which makes no sense.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:59 AM on March 5, 2015
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:59 AM on March 5, 2015
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posted by k5.user at 9:01 AM on March 4, 2015