RADIUM CONDOM
September 1, 2015 12:50 PM Subscribe
"The good people at Morphy Auctions gave me permission to show you these vintage (~1930s-50s) condom package designs." -- Cardhouse on historical condom packaging and design.
Not sure what the frequent theme of "ancient conquerors" in condom branding means, but nothing good probably
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:04 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:04 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Wow, a cardhouse link. Awesome.
posted by jjwiseman at 1:10 PM on September 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by jjwiseman at 1:10 PM on September 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
I want 3 Pirates. Bring those back. I don't even use condoms anymore.
posted by Chuffy at 1:12 PM on September 1, 2015
posted by Chuffy at 1:12 PM on September 1, 2015
Julius Schmid was a Jewish immigrant who became a sausage maker. He started selling the sausage casings as prophylactic devices, and thus became “King of Condoms.”
Well, I learned some interesting history today.
posted by eye of newt at 1:19 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Well, I learned some interesting history today.
posted by eye of newt at 1:19 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
The promised secret, in case you were wondering: Costco. It’s like eleven billion condoms for two cents. ELEVEN BILLION.
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:22 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:22 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Not sure what the frequent theme of "ancient conquerors" in condom branding means, but nothing good probably
What's weird is that they project what you would expect to be the opposite message from what a condom is supposed to be.
Ramses condoms are named after Ramses II, who had almost 160 children. Condoms are kind of all about preventing lots of kids.
And the Trojans famously let a large object inside their city which discharged a swarm of invaders that destroyed it. Again, isn't this exactly the opposite of what a condom should do?
posted by Sangermaine at 1:46 PM on September 1, 2015 [20 favorites]
What's weird is that they project what you would expect to be the opposite message from what a condom is supposed to be.
Ramses condoms are named after Ramses II, who had almost 160 children. Condoms are kind of all about preventing lots of kids.
And the Trojans famously let a large object inside their city which discharged a swarm of invaders that destroyed it. Again, isn't this exactly the opposite of what a condom should do?
posted by Sangermaine at 1:46 PM on September 1, 2015 [20 favorites]
Back in the day, I used to work at CVS. This would be a really cool insider tip to tell you if CVS still did this, but they don't. But anyway...
CVS used to have something called the charleston code. You'll note that charleston is a 10-letter word with no repeating characters. Thus you can map it to the digits from 0-9 and then express numbers using those letters. Thus, if C=1 and N=0, then HAS would be 237, and so on. (I don't remember if C was 1 or 0 - it's been a while, but you get the idea.)
CVS used to use this - and I have no idea why this was considered useful - on the bar code stickers for an item that went on the shelf front where that item was stocked. Along with the bar code and the price in big black numbers, there would be a Charleston code that told you what our cost of the item was.
I bring this up now because I remember going around the store when they did this checking on the profit margin on various items, and the markup on condoms was insane! Like 500 percent insane. So I'm not surprised if Costco can offer them super cheap.
also, THE RESERVOIR TIP IS FOR YOUR SEMEN!
posted by Naberius at 1:46 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
CVS used to have something called the charleston code. You'll note that charleston is a 10-letter word with no repeating characters. Thus you can map it to the digits from 0-9 and then express numbers using those letters. Thus, if C=1 and N=0, then HAS would be 237, and so on. (I don't remember if C was 1 or 0 - it's been a while, but you get the idea.)
CVS used to use this - and I have no idea why this was considered useful - on the bar code stickers for an item that went on the shelf front where that item was stocked. Along with the bar code and the price in big black numbers, there would be a Charleston code that told you what our cost of the item was.
I bring this up now because I remember going around the store when they did this checking on the profit margin on various items, and the markup on condoms was insane! Like 500 percent insane. So I'm not surprised if Costco can offer them super cheap.
also, THE RESERVOIR TIP IS FOR YOUR SEMEN!
posted by Naberius at 1:46 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I kind of wish merry widow wasn't slang for condoms before it was a condom brand because Merry Widows as a condom brand name is amazing.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:00 PM on September 1, 2015
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:00 PM on September 1, 2015
This gum tastes funny.
posted by lagomorphius at 2:33 PM on September 1, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 2:33 PM on September 1, 2015 [10 favorites]
They sure advertised the "transparency" as a major feature, why I don't know.
posted by kiltedtaco at 3:09 PM on September 1, 2015
posted by kiltedtaco at 3:09 PM on September 1, 2015
The nutex in the radium condoms was a huge wtf for me until I realized it was probably nu-tex (new texture?) rather than nut-ex, which is where the association with radioactivity led me initially.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 3:14 PM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 3:14 PM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'm now just going to spend the rest of my day wandering around my apartment saying "Radium condom? Radium condom." over and over to myself.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:19 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:19 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
¼ DOZEN
To simply write
posted by zamboni at 3:40 PM on September 1, 2015 [13 favorites]
To simply write
3would be vulgar.
posted by zamboni at 3:40 PM on September 1, 2015 [13 favorites]
jjwiseman: "Wow, a cardhouse link. Awesome."
Really. Takes me way back.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:15 PM on September 1, 2015
Really. Takes me way back.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:15 PM on September 1, 2015
I don't know how I missed this aspect of the lyrics of Little Red Corvette.
posted by exogenous at 6:17 PM on September 1, 2015
posted by exogenous at 6:17 PM on September 1, 2015
"Radium" and "condom" are two words that just do NOT belong together.
posted by Anne Neville at 6:38 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Anne Neville at 6:38 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
To simply write "3" would be vulgar.
Haven't you ever heard the old saying, "Three a' one, ¼ dozen t'other"?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:56 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Haven't you ever heard the old saying, "Three a' one, ¼ dozen t'other"?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:56 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Card house? That's a name I've not heard for some time. Great link.
posted by chaz at 8:24 PM on September 1, 2015
posted by chaz at 8:24 PM on September 1, 2015
kiltedtaco: if it wasn't transparent, how would you know you hadn't lost your penis in that bag? Aroused men are not great at object permanence, maybe.
I had not realized how much I missed Cardhouse writing.
posted by gusandrews at 8:29 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
I had not realized how much I missed Cardhouse writing.
posted by gusandrews at 8:29 PM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'm now just going to spend the rest of my day wandering around my apartment saying "Radium condom? Radium condom." over and over to myself.
Needs to be an item in the next Fallout game, if it isn't already.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:06 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Needs to be an item in the next Fallout game, if it isn't already.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:06 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
I love the designs on these so much, but after doing a little bit more looking yesterday (okay, it was just something the OP posted on Twitter), and seeing the actual unused condoms inside, everyone of these packages now makes me think of a missed opportunity from long ago and it's bumming me out.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:06 AM on September 2, 2015
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:06 AM on September 2, 2015
Aronab
FDA Notice 175 dozen prophylactics made from animal membranes and located at North Kansas City, Mo. Examination showed that of 60 samples, 6.7 per-cent were defective in that they contained holes.
Julius Schmid
FDA Notice 16 Dozen Prophylactics (and nine similar seizure actions). Samples of this product were found to be defective in that they contained holes.
Latex Distributing
FDA Notice 24 Gross of Texide. Examination of samples of this product showed that some of them were defective in that they contained holes.
Akron
FDA Notice 16 1/4 Gross and 111 1/2 Gross of Prophylactics. Examination of samples disclosed that the article was defective in that it contained holes.
I'll stop now. Talk about russian roulette.
posted by unliteral at 11:38 PM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
FDA Notice 175 dozen prophylactics made from animal membranes and located at North Kansas City, Mo. Examination showed that of 60 samples, 6.7 per-cent were defective in that they contained holes.
Julius Schmid
FDA Notice 16 Dozen Prophylactics (and nine similar seizure actions). Samples of this product were found to be defective in that they contained holes.
Latex Distributing
FDA Notice 24 Gross of Texide. Examination of samples of this product showed that some of them were defective in that they contained holes.
Akron
FDA Notice 16 1/4 Gross and 111 1/2 Gross of Prophylactics. Examination of samples disclosed that the article was defective in that it contained holes.
I'll stop now. Talk about russian roulette.
posted by unliteral at 11:38 PM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
kiltedtaco: "They sure advertised the "transparency" as a major feature, why I don't know."
Transparency is inversely proportional to thinness.
posted by Mitheral at 6:49 PM on September 4, 2015
Transparency is inversely proportional to thinness.
posted by Mitheral at 6:49 PM on September 4, 2015
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"Wear a Tally-Ho on your Tallywacker!"
"It's better than a cock, it's a Golden Pheasant."
"Wear a Blue Ribbon and you don't need to worry about coming in first."
posted by plinth at 1:02 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]