Extinct Siberian unicorn: not quite as magical as you might hope

March 29, 2016 7:15 PM

While it's quite exciting to hear that the extinct 'Siberian unicorn' may have lived alongside humans, except it's more exciting to see Elasmotherium sibiricum as depicted by Heinrich Harder, which is more like the elusive tiny unicorn pony that lead police on a chase (thanks Horse Channel!) than a large, hairy relative of the rhinoceros that was neither particularly horse-like nor mythological.
posted by filthy light thief (19 comments total)

You can read a bit more about the myths of unicorns as related to the Tatars stories of something that might have been Elasmotherium in Unicorns: The Myths, Legends, & Lore by Skye Alexander (Google books preview), or read about the recent discovery of Elasmotherium sibiricum, Mammuthus ex gr. trogontherii-chosaricus, Mammuthus primigenius, and Bison sp., including the actual paper (PDF).
posted by filthy light thief at 7:19 PM on March 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Buffalunicorn.
posted by valkane at 7:24 PM on March 29, 2016

this still doesn't really explain wtf a "decacorn" is, though.
posted by indubitable at 7:29 PM on March 29, 2016 [7 favorites]

Unicow.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 7:37 PM on March 29, 2016

Anyone who doesn't think a huge, angry rhino-like unicorn is awesome is missing out.
posted by jeather at 8:04 PM on March 29, 2016 [23 favorites]

That thing is way cooler than a stupid horse with a horn.
posted by echocollate at 8:13 PM on March 29, 2016 [8 favorites]

Bonus link: Bölsche, W. Tiere der Urwelt : in 30 Kunstblättern (which is to say: large scale scans of dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures illustrated by Heinrich Harder, from Kakao-Compagnie Theodor Reichardt, a German chocolate company).
posted by filthy light thief at 9:20 PM on March 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oof. If those things went around resting their heads in the laps of virgins, Siberia would run out of virgins pretty quickly.
posted by GameDesignerBen at 9:48 PM on March 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Fluffier than a standard unicorn.
posted by BinaryApe at 12:33 AM on March 30, 2016

Luxuriously upholstered, in fact. If you need a unicorn to ride around Siberia, this is the sort you want.
posted by BinaryApe at 12:37 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]

UNICORNS ARE REAL.

Zip. Locked.
posted by kyrademon at 12:59 AM on March 30, 2016

The world is a hardboiled wonderland.
posted by The White Hat at 3:51 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

Personally, I always thought unicorn legends were heavily influenced or derived from stories of existing rhinos passed through games of medieval Telephone. Especially if you run into the stories of the Persian karkardan which is supposedly super aggressive and disembowels anything it sees except for the peaceful dove that sits on it. Is a furry rhino that much better as a source for unicorn myth than a non furry one?
posted by sciatrix at 5:58 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Looks pretty magical to me.
posted by jamaal at 5:59 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Is a furry rhino that much better as a source for unicorn myth than a non furry one?

Obviously.
posted by jeather at 6:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah, never mind dinosaurs, THIS is why err needed impossible and unethical genetic engineering.

That and Paraceratherium DAMN. Our decivilized post-apocalyptic descendants NEED to have those wavering around. Not that I'm taking notes for a story or anything...forum
posted by happyroach at 6:53 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

I would dearly love to see these remade with a Siberian unicorn. The results, I am sure, would be charming and delightful.
posted by kinnakeet at 8:18 AM on March 30, 2016

The fossil record appears to be silent about whether the Siberian unicorn had rainbows streaming out of its butt.
posted by straight at 9:21 AM on March 30, 2016

All I'm saying is if you were a virgin and that thing laid its head in your lap, you'd have a problem.
posted by echocollate at 11:33 AM on March 30, 2016