“...young kids who don’t fit in the tidy boxes of “boy” and “girl.””
October 2, 2016 9:37 AM Subscribe
American Girl: How Young Is Too Young To Be Trans? [Buzzfeed News] Clinics are popping up across the country to help kids as young as 3 who might be transgender, but some say it’s too much, too soon. While doctors argue, families like Nicole’s don’t have time to wait.
This post was deleted for the following reason: As a rule of thumb I kinda feel like a post about trans issues built around the "some people say" counterpoint structure is pretty much doomed to not be so great for MetaFilter. -- cortex
As a parent, my rule of thumb would be: are you mature enough for me to allow you to make other life-changing decisions by yourself, without regret - schooling, relationships, health? Can you elaborate on the repercussions and thoughtfully understand them? If so, go ahead. As a parent, I don't have to like it, I don't have to support those decisions financially, but I do have to support my child emotionally. There are many times growing up when I thought I absolutely had to make life changing decisions that my parents didn't allow, and looking back I would have regretted. There were choices I made independently of my parents wishes that were critical for me, and also some I regret. This seems no different.
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 9:46 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 9:46 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Unfortunately, medical intervention for a transgender child needs to happen before they may be fully emotionally ready for it. Like all other medical decisions, it's the parents' job to guide their child and support their identity.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:48 AM on October 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:48 AM on October 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
I can't find the news interview where this question's come up before, but the gist was:
"These kids, they're too young to decide they're trans."
"But they're old enough to commit suicide, though."
Also: no age is the right age to satisfy the cisgender people who have appointed themselves the arbiters of trans decency.
Adolescent? Too young, you don't know what you are yet.
Teenager? It's just a phase, you'll grow out of it. You're just rebelling against your parents.
Young Adult? Oh, what's the point, you'll never pass with that beard/those breasts/that voice.
Middle Age? You're just having a mid-life crisis.
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 9:50 AM on October 2, 2016 [12 favorites]
"These kids, they're too young to decide they're trans."
"But they're old enough to commit suicide, though."
Also: no age is the right age to satisfy the cisgender people who have appointed themselves the arbiters of trans decency.
Adolescent? Too young, you don't know what you are yet.
Teenager? It's just a phase, you'll grow out of it. You're just rebelling against your parents.
Young Adult? Oh, what's the point, you'll never pass with that beard/those breasts/that voice.
Middle Age? You're just having a mid-life crisis.
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 9:50 AM on October 2, 2016 [12 favorites]
What roomthreeseventeen said. Besides psychological damage, there is also the physical aspect: in general (and especially for medical transition to female) if you wait till puberty, you've made things much more physically difficult.
posted by splitpeasoup at 9:57 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by splitpeasoup at 9:57 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yeah, testosterone is a hell of a drug, and a great deal of puberty is irreversible, even with what (hideously expensive, inaccessible for many) surgeries and medications available.
is it really so radical to ask parents to believe their children when they say who they are?
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 10:00 AM on October 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
is it really so radical to ask parents to believe their children when they say who they are?
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 10:00 AM on October 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
"Insistent, persistent, and consistent," right? It's not like doctors will just be like "oh this kid said something once that suggested they might be trans." There's diagnostic criteria for this!
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:02 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:02 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Between the ages of 8 and 9, I would have absolutely, and I mean FOR SURE transitioned if the option had been credibly available to me. I'm now an adult who knows exactly who and what I am and have developed an identity that I am quite comfortable with, even if I (like anyone) struggle with certain things. From where I sit now, if 8-to-9 year old me had been allowed to make that decision, I feel that I would be regretting it deeply now. On the other hand, who knows? Identity can be pretty fluid and perhaps I would have grown up to be comfortable in whatever body I grew up in.
For context, at another point in my childhood I was equally convinced that I wanted to have my left hand removed and replaced with a hook, a choice I more unequivocally repudiate now. I'm not saying this flippantly. This is how I wanted my body to be when I was very young. I understand the arguments about the way bodies change during puberty, and I don't speak for anyone but myself, but trusting prepubescent me to make choices that irrevocably affected adult me would have been a disaster.
posted by Krawczak at 10:06 AM on October 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
For context, at another point in my childhood I was equally convinced that I wanted to have my left hand removed and replaced with a hook, a choice I more unequivocally repudiate now. I'm not saying this flippantly. This is how I wanted my body to be when I was very young. I understand the arguments about the way bodies change during puberty, and I don't speak for anyone but myself, but trusting prepubescent me to make choices that irrevocably affected adult me would have been a disaster.
posted by Krawczak at 10:06 AM on October 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
At the same time, not every trans person has the "I knew for sure since I was a child" narrative! And those folks are equally valid! But damn I wish we could have extended the option to the kids who knew.
fun fact: one of my earliest memories is hiding on the stairs watching my older brother's Webelos Scout meetings with terrible, terrible longing
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 10:10 AM on October 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
fun fact: one of my earliest memories is hiding on the stairs watching my older brother's Webelos Scout meetings with terrible, terrible longing
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 10:10 AM on October 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Trans kids are not making any decisions which cannot be reversed. Hormone blockers temporarily halt puberty, they aren't giving trans kids hormones as far as I'm aware.
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:11 AM on October 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:11 AM on October 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
Hormone blockers temporarily halt puberty, they aren't giving trans kids hormones as far as I'm aware.
Yeah, that was my understanding from the article too - the "early intervention" wasn't "give 'em surgery right away" it was "give them hormone blockers to give the kid more time to decide how they want to manifest." So honestly, Krawczak, I'm not sure why you're referring to your nine-year-old thoughts in response to this article.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:23 AM on October 2, 2016 [8 favorites]
Yeah, that was my understanding from the article too - the "early intervention" wasn't "give 'em surgery right away" it was "give them hormone blockers to give the kid more time to decide how they want to manifest." So honestly, Krawczak, I'm not sure why you're referring to your nine-year-old thoughts in response to this article.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:23 AM on October 2, 2016 [8 favorites]
If it's true that these treatments aren't irreversible, then I stand corrected.
And to be perfectly clear, I'm not talking about other people's lives, I'm talking about my own. I met all the criteria for "insistent, persistent, and consistent". I was going out in my neighborhood and to school dressed in my preferred gender's clothing, speaking to people that I knew about/as my preferred identity, and enduring taunting and physical violence as retribution for doing so. And this was all 25 years ago, when "trans acceptance" wasn't even a phrase.
Furthermore, I'm not entirely gender-conforming now, even if I present more in conformance with my at-birth assignment, if I have to cite my credentials to speak about my own experience.
posted by Krawczak at 10:24 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
And to be perfectly clear, I'm not talking about other people's lives, I'm talking about my own. I met all the criteria for "insistent, persistent, and consistent". I was going out in my neighborhood and to school dressed in my preferred gender's clothing, speaking to people that I knew about/as my preferred identity, and enduring taunting and physical violence as retribution for doing so. And this was all 25 years ago, when "trans acceptance" wasn't even a phrase.
Furthermore, I'm not entirely gender-conforming now, even if I present more in conformance with my at-birth assignment, if I have to cite my credentials to speak about my own experience.
posted by Krawczak at 10:24 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
I suggest this post get deleted. The framing of the article is a set up for a bad discussion here.
posted by latkes at 10:25 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by latkes at 10:25 AM on October 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
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"Some" say, eh?
posted by splitpeasoup at 9:41 AM on October 2, 2016 [3 favorites]