David Koch has died at 79

August 23, 2019 7:13 AM

David Koch, billionaire conservative, (previously, previously) has died at age 79. He is survived by his brother Charles.
posted by sotonohito (159 comments total)

Huh

Even with him gone, the network and machine he built will remain

Like with the post about the Mellon-Scaife family the other day, the influence won't stop with him, but is built to last for generations in perpetuity
posted by Navelgazer at 7:16 AM on August 23, 2019 [17 favorites]

Is this the new venting thread?
posted by Bacon Bit at 7:17 AM on August 23, 2019 [17 favorites]

*
posted by JDHarper at 7:17 AM on August 23, 2019 [32 favorites]

What's the opposite of a period?
posted by Automocar at 7:18 AM on August 23, 2019 [48 favorites]

It's perhaps impolite but as I said earlier in the Bernie Sanders Green New Deal post:
"Well it's not carbon neutral by any means, but I'd be willing to bet clean burning Koch brothers, could be the power source of the future.

Ok, a very short future.

We can talk other plans as well.

I'll show myself out."
Delete as needed mods, but no apologies.
posted by evilDoug at 7:19 AM on August 23, 2019 [9 favorites]

Seems youngish for someone with access to quality health care. Oh well.
posted by LionIndex at 7:19 AM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

He's survived by the rest of the ecosystem, for now anyway. Think I can convince the media to start calling it the "Koch Memorial Global Warming"?
posted by traveler_ at 7:21 AM on August 23, 2019 [14 favorites]

Is he the ballet one, or the one with zero redeeming qualities?
posted by Shotgun Shakespeare at 7:21 AM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]

A climate denialist who died as the Amazon burned, content that his work was done.
posted by the turtle's teeth at 7:22 AM on August 23, 2019 [80 favorites]

What's the opposite of a period?

The comment before this one.
posted by ZeusHumms at 7:22 AM on August 23, 2019 [7 favorites]

"I have never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure" -- Mark Twain
posted by briank at 7:25 AM on August 23, 2019 [133 favorites]

Remembering Bette Davis' guideline, I can only type: David Koch is dead. Good.
posted by Ber at 7:25 AM on August 23, 2019 [10 favorites]

Navelgazer: Even with him gone, the network and machine he built will remain

David Koch, billionaire industrialist who influenced conservative politics, dies at 79 (Washington Post, Aug. 23, 2019).

Mr. Koch, who had suffered from prostate cancer for many years, announced in 2018 that he was stepping down from his positions at Koch Industries and the Koch political and philanthropic networks. His death was announced in a statement from Koch Industries.

His death may not lead to the positive changes one might otherwise hope for when the head of a noxious company dies, as it seems that the Kochs have built a self-sustaining system of industrial greed and political disturbance.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:27 AM on August 23, 2019 [12 favorites]

Hopefully without the brothers at the helm, the bloated empire they built will collapse under right-wing infighting and grift, just like the NRA
posted by C'est la D.C. at 7:28 AM on August 23, 2019 [17 favorites]

He was the arts one. According to the BBC story in original post he got married sometime in the last 27 years and had three kids, who must be fairly young.
posted by mareli at 7:28 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

His father Fred was a co-founder of the John Birch Society. He actually has 3 brothers, one of whom is his twin (Bill). Bill and (father namesake) Frederick brothers sued Charles & David for stiffing them out of billions when they sold their stake in Koch to Charles & David in 1983.

The machine he created will continue, unfortunately.

Opposite of a period symbol is needed for him, indeed.
posted by yoga at 7:29 AM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

Shotgun Shakespeare: Is he the ballet one, or the one with zero redeeming qualities?

From Washington Post:

As a patron of charities, David Koch ranked among the most open-handed donors of his era, disbursing more than $1 billion to cultural and medical nonprofit organizations. But it was through a network of well-financed advocacy groups that the Koch brothers achieved their greatest distinction, spreading an uncompromising anti-government gospel that moved the Republican Party steadily to the right.

Any redemption is outweighed by the political blight spread by him and his brother, even when they spent money to send out mailers supporting Democrats when it comes to supporting DREAMers and immigration reform (NPR, 2018), and co-funded a study that (re)confirmed Climate Change (MetaFilter, 2011).
posted by filthy light thief at 7:31 AM on August 23, 2019 [13 favorites]

I have a dead Koch and a smile.
posted by wrnealis at 7:31 AM on August 23, 2019 [28 favorites]

I thought they'd both hang on indefinitely, Mr. Burns style.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 7:33 AM on August 23, 2019 [7 favorites]

> What's the opposite of a period?

An asshole. Hence: "*"
posted by dgeiser13 at 7:34 AM on August 23, 2019 [12 favorites]

good
posted by supermedusa at 7:34 AM on August 23, 2019 [7 favorites]

He helped fund a number of educational programs on public television that were huge assets in my intellectual growth as a child, for which I'm appreciative.

That good doesn't begin to outweigh the harm he did to our country and the world through his conservative activism and political manipulations. His life was devoted to ensuring that the rest of us would survive or perish only at the largesse of billionaires like him and his brother, rather than being able to collectively solve our problems as democratic equals. Thanks to his efforts, he is replaced by a hundred Hydra heads of capitalist would-be aristocrats and oligarchs, slowly gnawing away the foundation of American public life. His beliefs may have been sincere, but his choices were evil.
posted by biogeo at 7:34 AM on August 23, 2019 [29 favorites]

Good riddance
posted by gc at 7:35 AM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]

Brother Bill is the father of Wyatt, who is a wacky shirt designer when he's not suing his ex-fiancee to get a diamond ring back.

So the real question is, out side of David and Charles, are the rest of the Kochs more your traditional useless scion like Wyatt or more like their "kill all poors" brothers?

I mean, they should all be taxed to oblivion, of course.
posted by emjaybee at 7:37 AM on August 23, 2019 [7 favorites]

ohhh noooo
posted by Justinian at 7:38 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

*
posted by tclark at 7:38 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Hasan Minhaj just did a pretty good piece about the Kochs' involvement in dismantling public transit.

Anyhoo, buh-bye fucko.
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:42 AM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

Mod note: A small note: gloating is fine, if your conscience so moves you, but please avoid slurs or any other kinds of things that spread the vitriol over innocent parties. Thanks.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 7:43 AM on August 23, 2019 [9 favorites]

Just shared the news with my son, it is his birthday after all.
posted by Freedomboy at 7:45 AM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

If we're not permitted to escort them through the door, we can at least hope the it hits them on the ass on the way out.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:45 AM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

My birthday was shaping up to be pretty crappy, but this is kind of grimly cheering. (Many happy returns to your son, Freedomboy!)
posted by skybluepink at 7:47 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

It feels good and is a valuable act of self-care to spit on his grave, but the fact remains that he died very old, in extreme comfort and luxury, surrounded by servants and people pretending to love him, while we'll die at 60 of mutant intestinal parasites in a climate refugee camp on Baffin Island if we're lucky.

Anyway stay dead dipshit
posted by Rust Moranis at 7:48 AM on August 23, 2019 [36 favorites]

Makes me remember the time John Oliver coined the word fuckeulogy
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 7:49 AM on August 23, 2019 [14 favorites]

my first reaction on reading the NYT headline was a simply stated 'oh good'

1 down, 1 to go?
posted by kokaku at 7:49 AM on August 23, 2019 [8 favorites]

Science Society advances one funeral at a time. --- not quite Max Planck
posted by bonehead at 7:49 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

I’m only somewhat ashamed that my first response was to pump my fist and exclaim, “YESSS!!”

Second response:
Good, fuck 'im.
posted by notsnot at 7:50 AM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]

Like with Jeffrey Epstein, I feel no joy about this because yet another incredibly powerful and harmful person has escaped anything approaching real accountability.

The genocidal hyperobject of climate change remains and only grows worse. He helped march humanity to incomprehensible suffering and didn't even live long enough to see the cruel fruits of his labor.
posted by Ouverture at 7:50 AM on August 23, 2019 [41 favorites]

Anyway stay dead dipshit

don't jinx it! gahhhd
posted by what does it eat, light? at 7:50 AM on August 23, 2019 [10 favorites]

The world is diminished by his departure from it, but not by nearly so much as his vicious choices.
posted by wotsac at 7:52 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

For fear of the general populace, when George Pullman -- of Pullman Strike infamy -- died, he was "placed in a lead-lined mahogany coffin, which was then sealed inside a block of concrete. At the cemetery, a large pit had been dug at the family plot. At its base and walls were 18 inches of reinforced concrete. The coffin was lowered, and covered with asphalt and tar paper. More concrete was poured on top, followed by a layer of steel rails bolted together at right angles, and another layer of concrete."

I'm just sayin'.
posted by Quindar Beep at 7:52 AM on August 23, 2019 [15 favorites]

There was a very fancy building built in Houston, for some kind of design center. It was quite cool looking. It went out of business though and the building was taken over by Koch Oil. I always thought it a bit odd that such an evil company was in such an arty building.
posted by Bee'sWing at 7:52 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

I always pictured his death as involving frozen concentrated orange juice futures, but I'll take what I can get.
posted by condour75 at 7:53 AM on August 23, 2019 [9 favorites]

Hunter S. Thompson's obituary for Nixon comes to mind:

He has poisoned our water forever. Nixon will be remembered as a classic case of a smart man shitting in his own nest. But he also shit in our nests, and that was the crime that history will burn on his memory like a brand. By disgracing and degrading the Presidency of the United States, by fleeing the White House like a diseased cur, Richard Nixon broke the heart of the American Dream.

posted by Ouverture at 7:54 AM on August 23, 2019 [35 favorites]

although the loss of each sentient being is the destruction of an entire universe, this particular being was a hateful little planet-killer and it is good that he is gone.

i celebrate this man's death and i judge anyone who doesn't celebrate this man's death.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 7:58 AM on August 23, 2019 [22 favorites]

De mortuis nil ni...no, you know what, fuck that guy, and good riddance. I'm just sorry it was David, the stupid one, and not Charles, the evil one.
posted by holborne at 7:59 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Take it away, Elvis.
posted by tonycpsu at 8:00 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Let the gravepissing commence!
posted by Catblack at 8:04 AM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]

Is he the ballet one, or the one with zero redeeming qualities?

His much younger wife (she's only 57 now) apparently convinced him to spend on the arts. I hope she inherited everything and carries on (just) the arts donations. Or marries a liberal?

A 1998 NY Times profile.
posted by pracowity at 8:07 AM on August 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

Today is my Fox News - worshipping Mom's birthday. I look forward to rubbing this in her face.

Also: *
posted by JohnFromGR at 8:10 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

David Koch is one of those people we're better off without. See also: Charles Koch, Rupert Murdoch, Donald Trump....
posted by orange swan at 8:13 AM on August 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

posted by TedW at 8:16 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

RIP the planet, killed by Koch.
posted by Yowser at 8:20 AM on August 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

I'm glad he's dead, and I hope his brother joins him soon. As I've said before and elsewhere - if you want people to speak kindly of you and respect you when you die, live like it. It's not only acceptable but imperative that we refuse to be polite when assholes like Koch die. Maybe, just maybe, some of the people living will register that and choose to be better humans if they care about their legacy or how people talk about them after they die.

Maybe not, but it's worth a try.

*
posted by jzb at 8:27 AM on August 23, 2019 [9 favorites]

*
posted by inpHilltr8r at 8:40 AM on August 23, 2019

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Pity he didn't take the rest of his family with him.
posted by MissySedai at 8:41 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

David Koch, billionaire industrialist who influenced conservative politics, dies at 79 (Washington Post, Aug. 23, 2019).
Mr. Koch, who had suffered from prostate cancer for many years. . .

Not enough if you ask me.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 8:42 AM on August 23, 2019 [10 favorites]

Not only did David Koch help cripple our ability to fight climate change, heal the sick and feed the needy, he died before he would have felt the sting of any of those projects even if he'd spent his waning years ignoring politics and enjoying life. What a fucking waste, on every level.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:44 AM on August 23, 2019 [11 favorites]

1 down, 1 to go?

Hundreds, if not thousands.
posted by rocket88 at 8:44 AM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]

How much of that art "philanthropy" went to far right YouTubers and literal nazis to practice their "art?"
posted by Yowser at 8:45 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Time to fill his mouth with garlic, sew it shut, burn the body and scatter the ashes across running water.
posted by bile and syntax at 8:47 AM on August 23, 2019 [15 favorites]

I hate it when I cheer upon hearing the news of someone's death. But sometimes I just can't help it.
posted by slogger at 8:49 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

If you liked Koch's arts philanthropy, you should be especially glad. I suspect he had some grants that only materialized after his death, for tax reasons, and now the gift comes with a smidgen of distance from his terrible politics.

Of course it would be better if taxes were high enough that you don't have to wait for estate tax avoidance to kick in!
posted by grandiloquiet at 8:50 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

scatter the ashes across running water.

just make sure it isn't into the 5% of waterways that he hasn't already polluted.
posted by Rust Moranis at 8:51 AM on August 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

good fuckin news and i hope many others of his worthless and vile ilk soon follow
posted by poffin boffin at 8:56 AM on August 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

i have a list
posted by poffin boffin at 8:56 AM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]

This is exactly how I imagine the thread for Kissinger will go.
posted by emjaybee at 8:57 AM on August 23, 2019 [7 favorites]

*
posted by runehog at 8:57 AM on August 23, 2019

Cry me a fucking river.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 8:58 AM on August 23, 2019

He really sets a great example for other old billionaires, who should also die.
posted by Jon_Evil at 8:58 AM on August 23, 2019 [38 favorites]

*
posted by Token Meme at 9:00 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Michael Ian Black
‏Verified account @michaelianblack

In lieu of flowers, the family of David Koch requests that mourners simply purchase a Republican politician.
6:11 AM - 23 Aug 2019
posted by pjsky at 9:01 AM on August 23, 2019 [44 favorites]

*
posted by LegallyBread at 9:02 AM on August 23, 2019

He went to MIT, and majored in chemical engineering.

The CE curriculum is about 25% devoted to matters of safety: how not to have your apparatus burn, leak, explode, et cetera.

He then went to run his father's firm, which is mostly made of chemical plants, in such a fashion that would have gotten him failing grades in his major if he had submitted plants to operate reactors the way he did.

He then tried to compensate by giving MIT money and putting his name on two MIT buildings. What he should have given back to MIT was his diploma.
posted by ocschwar at 9:09 AM on August 23, 2019 [13 favorites]

Luke 6:24.
posted by kevinbelt at 9:12 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

This is exactly how I imagine the thread for Kissinger will go.

"Will" implies a level of optimism about Kissinger being mortal that I just don't have.
posted by Ouverture at 9:13 AM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

Let's not celebrate just yet. Someday we're all going to have to face our children and explain that this man died a natural death at the age of 79.

I'm not looking forward to that little talk.
posted by Naberius at 9:19 AM on August 23, 2019 [15 favorites]

Ry Cooder - Brother is Gone

*
posted by Evstar at 9:30 AM on August 23, 2019

I’m ecstatic that he’s gone. He did his best to cause suffering and harm to anyone who stood in the way of his ability to amass more money than he could ever have hoped to need, and kept going well past that. He has contributed immeasurable harm to the very fabric of the nation that had the poor fortune to give birth to him.

My only regret is that his brother and the machine they built outlived him. Good riddance, and may the earth reject his corpse, wherever they try to bury him, no matter how many times they try.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:31 AM on August 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

The only good reason to wish he was still alive is so that we'd have time to prepare the guillotines
posted by FirstMateKate at 9:31 AM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

I'm not looking forward to that little talk.

true, the real tragedy is the inexplicable absence of a slicey boi overlooking the national mall's reflecting pool
posted by poffin boffin at 9:36 AM on August 23, 2019 [10 favorites]

I don't understand the high fiving. And not because of general no-dancing-on-graves guidelines.

I don't understand because this asshole won. He not only got to be super rich and super shitty about it his entire life. He purchased influence to insure his family wealth and power would be permanent and that the systems that let them amass that insane amount of wealth are stronger now than when they started and better able to put the poors in their place and keep them there with boots on their throats.

We didn't beat him in any way. He just finished an entire life of rich bastardry unimpeded with not a drop of comeuppance.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:42 AM on August 23, 2019 [22 favorites]

In Jane Mayer's wonderful book Dark Money, about the Koch's baleful influence on politics, there is a little story about David Koch, who was the wealthiest person in New York by this time, giving his doorman 50$ as his Christmas present one year.

That story should be in every obituary.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 9:44 AM on August 23, 2019 [13 favorites]

We didn't beat him in any way. He just finished an entire life of rich bastardry unimpeded with not a drop of comeuppance.

Which means this is the only victory over him we'll ever get, so we might as well celebrate it.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:45 AM on August 23, 2019 [15 favorites]

I don't understand the high fiving.

Had he continued to live, he would never have been brought to any type of justice, absent your French Revolution-style mob situation, which has other unpleasant side effects. Sometimes, the only victory is that assholes don't live forever.* It's small, it's not the victory we would like, but we will take it.

*this is why I am never that excited about the idea we'll discover immortality or very long life. Some people's only worthwhile act is dying.
posted by emjaybee at 9:47 AM on August 23, 2019 [12 favorites]

These are the kind of celebrations you have when a rabid dog menacing the town dies. Unfortunately this particular rabid dog spread his disease to several million others before passing, and created several thousand Rabies Advocacy foundations.
posted by benzenedream at 9:51 AM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

We didn't beat him in any way.

In a minute I'm gonna put my lunch-soup mug away and sit back and invite a pupperdoodle onto my lap for snugs and scrobbles. She'll be warm and soft and fuzzy and probably waggy and licky.

The fuck he gonna do today?
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:51 AM on August 23, 2019 [35 favorites]

We wish the Koch brothers a swift reunion.
posted by acb at 9:54 AM on August 23, 2019 [22 favorites]

Hopefully his foundation continues giving out money. Lots of non-profits depend on that money.
posted by persona au gratin at 9:54 AM on August 23, 2019

About grave dancing...

The thing is, he won. The machine he built is intact and will go on crushing human souls for decades, potentially contributing to the extinction of the human race. There are many thousands of other rich white racist men already in places of power, put there by people like Koch, and carrying on the proud tradition of putting more people like Koch in places of power despite the mounting pile of shameful dissonance it’s taking to sustain this power structure: collaboration with Russian oligarchs to fix elections, scapegoating immigrants to the point of concentration camps and inspiring vigilante killers, supporting world leaders who steal rainforest land from indigenous people and set it on fire. You all know how the list goes. We are so far past Joseph Welch’s “At long last, have you left no sense of decency?” moment. Koch helped bring all of this about. But his death won’t make even the slightest bit of difference in changing what he’s done.

In the end the only thing we as human beings have is the ability to consider his impact on the world, and maybe the hope that we future dead people might change our actions as though we care what our survivors think and feel after we’re gone. My opinion is that Koch deserves every ounce of hatred, every drop of spite I can muster. Those closest to him deserve to feel that hatred, they are living on blood money and have a special responsibility to live humbly and thoughtfully. When people remember Koch, they should remember a man twisted by greed who could have alleviated much suffering barely inconveniencing himself; not only did he fail to do that, he made it his life’s work to make sure no one *ever* did that. He deserves infinite disgust.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:56 AM on August 23, 2019 [11 favorites]

I hope that in 50 years when everything remaining is burning that our both-sides media doesn’t fail to note that we’ve the Koch brothers to thank.
posted by persona au gratin at 9:59 AM on August 23, 2019

> Any redemption is outweighed by the political blight spread by him and his brother, even when they spent money to send out mailers supporting Democrats when it comes to supporting DREAMers and immigration reform (NPR, 2018)...

The Kochs opposed Trump because they did not have the access to him that Russia had. They opposed Republicans in state and local elections who were aligned with right-wing groups that the Kochs did not endorse.

It wasn't some kind of late-dawning enlightenment, it was 11th-hour expediency and some "enemy of my enemy" thinking.
posted by at by at 10:01 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

He was one of the rich bad guys from Trading Places right?
posted by Liquidwolf at 10:04 AM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

And it couldn't happen to a nicer Koch.
posted by doctor_negative at 10:12 AM on August 23, 2019

Ron Perlman [via Twitter]: Wishing the Koch brothers a speedy reunion.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:21 AM on August 23, 2019 [10 favorites]

;
posted by sydnius at 10:24 AM on August 23, 2019

Bury him on the south Florida coast so no one can visit his grave.
posted by hydrophonic at 10:28 AM on August 23, 2019 [15 favorites]

I kinda wish he had never lived.
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:37 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

.
posted by leslietron at 10:38 AM on August 23, 2019

I know how his surname is supposed to be pronounced, but I have to admit my brain leapt straight to the headline I want to see: "Koch Bites the Dust"

Good riddance to bad rubbish.  And I see it's time once again to haul out my standard go-to when someone so repugnant kicks off, with my usual apologies to Bette Davis: “You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good…David Koch is dead.  Good.”

He and his brother have poisoned the well of American democracy for decades.  Lord only knows if it'll survive their meddling, but at least one half of their font of hatred has gone dry.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 10:42 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Good news for him. He won't have to live with the consequences of his actions.
posted by brundlefly at 10:50 AM on August 23, 2019

* * * * * * * out of * * * * news for my friday

i am abstractly sorry over the death of any other human being, but our dude here didn't care one bit about our lives; I can't be assed to pretend sympathy for his passing

may he be quickly forgotten
posted by wires at 10:54 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Remember, as the usual passel of assholes temporarily shifts gears from "The Left is always whining about safe spaces and political correctness!" to "How dare you be mean about a dead man!", that not only are they hypocrites, but virtually all of them have taken the Koch's money at one point or another (and if they are working for the Daily Caller, they still are taking it). So really they're all just performing to suck up to the remaining wallet brother.
posted by Etrigan at 10:59 AM on August 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

The Koch brothers will be remembered the most for turning the GOP primary process into an audition before them personally, in which candidates were gauged for their willingness to toe the Koch brothers line above any and all other considerations.

And that in turn is the main cause for the sheer profusion of imbeciles and clay-footed cowards among GOP electeds.

They micromanaged the GOP, then lost control of it to Trump. WIthout their efforts, either the GOP will recover a brain and start functioning as a party again, or it will implode.
posted by ocschwar at 11:01 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

One down one to go.
The Koch machine bought its way into Congress and turned climate-change denial into an unchallengeable Republican talking point.
posted by adamvasco at 11:11 AM on August 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

Remember, as the usual passel of assholes temporarily shifts gears from "The Left is always whining about safe spaces and political correctness!" to "How dare you be mean about a dead man!",

The glee over the death of David Koch - a serious philanthropist with libertarian political views - is a perfect example of how poisonous our politics have become

also let's laugh at the death of trayvon martin, also lol howard zinn's dead, I hope noam chomsky dies too
posted by Rust Moranis at 11:14 AM on August 23, 2019 [10 favorites]

$
posted by xigxag at 11:18 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

"I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction."
--Clarence Darrow
posted by MrGuilt at 11:21 AM on August 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

°
posted by Heywood Mogroot III at 11:22 AM on August 23, 2019

What's the opposite of a period?

A baby.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 11:46 AM on August 23, 2019 [14 favorites]

The world's loss is hell's gain.
*
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 11:59 AM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

"David Koch has died. In lieu of flowers please construct a shadow network of tax deductible shell companies to donate to the further perpetuation of environmental destruction and income inequality."
--Josh Gondelman

"David Koch had a dream, which was to make things easier for himself and a few friends while also making things significantly worse for everyone else on the planet. He is gone, but now that work falls to all of us. Today, whenever you get the chance, harm someone vulnerable."
--David Roth
posted by panama joe at 12:05 PM on August 23, 2019 [11 favorites]

From the estimable Harold Pollack, a researcher and policy advocate who has devoted his life to working for the opposite of everything David Koch was for: "RIP David Koch. A formidable political figure who pursued, all-too-effectively, many causes I fundamentally disagree with. The death of any human being diminishes us."
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:33 PM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]

"David Koch has died. In lieu of flowers please construct a shadow network of tax deductible shell companies to donate to the further perpetuation of environmental destruction and income inequality."

If you want something worthwhile to come out of your spite, please donate to any environmental / progressive cause or candidate that will undo his terrible life's work.
posted by benzenedream at 12:45 PM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]

I dedicate this song to him and his ilk.
posted by ThreeCatsBob at 1:04 PM on August 23, 2019

Wait is the “I have read obituary notices with great satisfaction” quote Mark Twain or Clarence Darrow, or one of those Internet quotes no one actually ever really said?

My source says Darrow.
posted by MrGuilt at 1:05 PM on August 23, 2019

Someone make sure to add his grave to those public toilet finder apps.
posted by Reyturner at 1:09 PM on August 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

Good.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 1:10 PM on August 23, 2019

People like him don't care what you and I think because we're not people to them. Only useful as meat machines to turn labour into capital. It is a class war, but not because we made it so, because we just wanted to get on with our lives, but because the rich did, once they ceased thinking of the poor as deserving of the same comforts they had.

There's this constant struggle in my circles about whether it's right to kill people who want to deprive you of your personhood. You can't educate a rabid dog, you can only put it down. But can you teach empathy to a sociopath? Is it fair to not kill them but simply jail them; render them harmless? The Christie Pits Riots graphic novel (just published earlier this year) went pretty deep on this: when is violence appropriate? And then how do you get over the social programming in order to do what's necessary?

I don't have any answers. But my heart is a little lighter today.
posted by seanmpuckett at 1:23 PM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]

David Koch, billionaire conservative, (previously, previously) has died at age 79. He is survived by his brother Charles.

"Well, there's good news and bad news."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:26 PM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]

If you want something worthwhile to come out of your spite, please donate to any environmental / progressive cause or candidate that will undo his terrible life's work.


I have suggestions, if you like! (Did y'all know Virginia has an election every year?)
posted by dogheart at 1:45 PM on August 23, 2019

🎉
posted by sourcequench at 2:45 PM on August 23, 2019

*
posted by phrits at 2:48 PM on August 23, 2019

Classy bunch.
posted by bbrown at 3:42 PM on August 23, 2019

> Classy bunch.

see first i was going to take this as you being sarcastic, but you know what? we are a classy bunch, and we are commemorating the death of this enemy of humanity the way classy people should. and anyone who says otherwise is not just not classy but is in fact completely tacky.

good thread, everyone. high fives all around.

also though we should take poffin boffin's suggestion and get one of them slicey bois set up on the national mall.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 4:30 PM on August 23, 2019 [20 favorites]

Classy bunch.
posted by bbrown at 6:42 PM

We swears we will be humble and subservient and polite and respectful when the next monster dies.

No really.

Honestly.

We swears.

Trust us.
posted by soundguy99 at 4:50 PM on August 23, 2019 [12 favorites]

we are a classy bunch and we are ready for the class war and i will not hear a single word otherwise.

anything else violates a is a.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 4:54 PM on August 23, 2019 [4 favorites]

The fuck he gonna do today?

Burn, hopefully.

("And so, as it must to all men, death came to Charles Foster Kane...")
posted by praemunire at 5:14 PM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Good.
posted by ob1quixote at 5:26 PM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

I'm glad this man is dead, but I'll be even happier when his legacy is dead too.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:37 PM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

> I'm glad this man is dead, but I'll be even happier when his legacy is dead too.

let's kill it.

let's make sure future generations know the name greta thunberg. and that the kochs become a footnote at most.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 5:41 PM on August 23, 2019 [11 favorites]

One ruthless callous destructive plutocrat down, a couple of thousand to go.

We still have a lot of work to do, people.
posted by Pouteria at 6:26 PM on August 23, 2019

I'm glad he's dead, and I hope his brother joins him soon. As I've said before and elsewhere - if you want people to speak kindly of you and respect you when you die, live like it. It's not only acceptable but imperative that we refuse to be polite when assholes like Koch die. Maybe, just maybe, some of the people living will register that and choose to be better humans if they care about their legacy or how people talk about them after they die.
posted by jzb

–––––––––

To the dead one owes only the truth.

For the sake of the survivors.
posted by Pouteria at 6:40 PM on August 23, 2019 [7 favorites]

It's hard to even wrap one's head around all the damage this guy did. The NyTime's obituary, of course, is full of accolades for his donating to the arts. It makes me see red. Burn your ballet to the ground. It's poisoned. It exists as a beard for a madman. I'm so sick of the passes given to the billionaires that cause death and destruction and then are lauded as beatific souls for the pocket change money they gave to some museum or foundation.
posted by xammerboy at 6:41 PM on August 23, 2019 [11 favorites]

🔔🔔🔔
posted by bonobothegreat at 6:43 PM on August 23, 2019 [2 favorites]

“In February 1991, Koch was a passenger on board USAir Flight 1493 when it collided with another aircraft on a runway at Los Angeles International Airport, killing 35 people. Koch survived and said in an interview in 2014 that it helped change his life and prompted him to become "tremendously philanthropic." — wikipedia

This is the secret: you have to almost kill these rich monsters before they ever have an inkling of mortality or humanity; for themselves or others.
posted by valkane at 7:58 PM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

https://isrupertmurdochdead.com/
posted by nnethercote at 8:13 PM on August 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

*
posted by BlueHorse at 8:26 PM on August 23, 2019

The opposite of a period is probably a middle finger or other obscene gesture of your choice.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:57 AM on August 24, 2019

*
posted by detachd at 4:18 AM on August 24, 2019

Crab celebration from Twitter:

always wanted to make one of these. #DavidKoch is dead. pic.twitter.com/wGj9dNPjAo— Theodore🌹Roosemoji (@theo_dillon) August 23, 2019

posted by I_Love_Bananas at 5:06 AM on August 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

good riddance to bad rubbish
posted by james33 at 7:38 AM on August 24, 2019

Carles P. Pierce in Esquire: The Koch Money Was a Primary Vector for the Prion Disease That's Infected the Republican Party.

Ending with, "Of course, the most lasting damage done by the Kochs is in the area of the climate crisis, in which their money and influence may have paralyzed the response to it until, now, things have gone past the point of control. It is in that spirit that I make the following proposal: If David Koch is to be cremated, I suggest we dispense with all the fuss and bother and just drop his corpse from a helicopter into the fires now consuming the Amazon rainforest. Let him be one with his legacy."
posted by soundguy99 at 8:18 AM on August 24, 2019 [9 favorites]

!
posted by hypnogogue at 8:26 AM on August 24, 2019

I'm sad that he's dead. Sad that it reveals that I still have a vengeful part of my heart that is gleeful at this news. That I can take joy in the grieving and suffering and hopeful existential dread of his brother. I would have hate to have had anyone feel that way about me when I was grieving my father.

Then again, my father wasn't dedicated to burning the fucking world to the ground to prove a point about having the most money. But even so, I'm still not completely happy with the schadenfreude I'm feeling.
posted by Hactar at 10:13 AM on August 24, 2019

David Koch Still on the Wrong Side of the River Styx After Refusing to Pay One-Cent Ferry Tax.
posted by ActionPopulated at 12:01 PM on August 24, 2019 [5 favorites]

In case anyone is wondering whether the Charles Pierce link soundguy99 posted above is worth reading, it begins:

Fair warning. I am about to speak very ill of the dead. David Koch went to his eternal barbecue spit on Friday. Except for his surviving brother, Charles, no man had a worse effect on American politics since the death of John C. Calhoun.
posted by TedW at 1:53 PM on August 24, 2019 [7 favorites]

Also note that thanks to the liberal estate tax laws, his three children will be entitled to $10 billion each absolutely tax-free.
posted by JackFlash at 5:46 PM on August 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

If the estate tax were still its 1941-1976 rate, David Koch would have just contributed $45 billion to the national treasury.
posted by benzenedream at 6:44 PM on August 24, 2019 [8 favorites]

There is no reason for hysteria Mr. Koch, the rising heat levels you are experiencing are the result of a cyclical warming event entirely natural to the underworld's biosphere. If you're experiencing any discomfort may we suggest a change of philosophical perspective? Enjoy your forever stay.
posted by xammerboy at 7:30 PM on August 24, 2019

I suppose the estate tax breaks have a good side. As libertarians always argue, if you tax something, you get less of it. For example if you tax income, you have less incentive to work. If you cut taxes, they argue, you have more incentive to work.

By cutting the "death tax" Republicans provided Koch with an incentive to die. If death taxes were higher, he might never have died.
posted by JackFlash at 9:50 PM on August 24, 2019

Tell us why we should mourn him. You're an objectivist. You probably have some nice screed in mind about how Koch embiggened us all.

Who said you should mourn him? Is that what grace and class means to you? Phony grief?

The classlessness I was implicitly referring to was giddiness and glee. And performatively, which makes it baser.

Regarding the screed you imagine, I have none. I think the Koch brothers have become a bête noire whose perceived bad deeds far exceed their actual reach. Like Soros is for the right. The left, to use its own terms, "others" him and thus can treat him as sub-human and dance on his grave.
posted by bbrown at 11:19 AM on August 25, 2019 [1 favorite]

bbrown just two to be getting on with.
From Rolling Stone 2014 Inside the Koch Brothers’ Toxic Empire.
UK National Newspaper The Independent
David Koch reshaped America for the worse. His life's work was the destruction of others
posted by adamvasco at 2:01 PM on August 25, 2019 [2 favorites]

I think the Koch brothers have become a bête noire whose perceived bad deeds far exceed their actual reach. Like Soros is for the right. The left, to use its own terms, "others" him and thus can treat him as sub-human and dance on his grave.

George Soros turned 89 a few days ago. He certainly has more days behind than ahead. I trust that when he dies, the right will instruct us in the ways of elegant and respectful mourning.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:16 PM on August 25, 2019 [8 favorites]

> The classlessness I was implicitly referring to was giddiness and glee. And performatively, which makes it baser.

it is good to celebrate the death of this koch and it will be good to celebrate the deaths of the next koch and it will be good to celebrate the deaths of their wealthy powerful fellow travelers, people with outsized power and bad ideas who are killing the world.

it's good to celebrate the death of this particular koch because lord knows we need something to celebrate in these grim times, and it's good because celebrating his deaths is in a small way a means to encourager les autres.

anything less is liberal propaganda and violates a is a. you don't want to violate a is a, do you?
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 11:42 PM on August 25, 2019 [5 favorites]

> The classlessness I was implicitly referring to [...]

also and more generally if metafilter prefigures a classless society then it is an even better place than i thought.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 3:14 AM on August 26, 2019 [4 favorites]

!
posted by pt68 at 7:51 AM on August 26, 2019 [2 favorites]

No, when Soros dies, there will be plenty of crassness and likely of the form displayed in this thread.

These responses are exactly as self-congratulatory as I expected from a "classy bunch."
posted by bbrown at 8:36 AM on August 30, 2019

he's not gonna send you a check for defending him bro he's dead
posted by poffin boffin at 10:26 AM on August 30, 2019 [6 favorites]

Stay classy, WSJ opinion page.
posted by aspersioncast at 1:36 PM on August 30, 2019