Taco Bell Quarterly: A Literary Magazine
March 4, 2020 9:12 AM Subscribe
Is this a joke?
No! This a real literary magazine for you to submit your literary Taco Bell writing. Like The Paris Review. Granta. Ploughshares. Taco Bell Quarterly.
I believe it is not a joke. My 20-something niece may well love it as she loves Taco Bell. I am happy that you posted it, toastyk. Glad to know about it even though I am not a literary mag kinda human.
posted by Bella Donna at 9:40 AM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 9:40 AM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
Even if it is a joke, it's fine with me. I just feel like everyone could use something fun to be distracted by.
posted by toastyk at 9:42 AM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by toastyk at 9:42 AM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
I'll stick with the New York Review of Mops.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 9:44 AM on March 4, 2020 [14 favorites]
posted by paper chromatographologist at 9:44 AM on March 4, 2020 [14 favorites]
I still miss Joe magazine from Starbucks, if only because they put Mark Leyner in one of the first issues and I've always been a fan of his novel, Et Tu, Babe.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:56 AM on March 4, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:56 AM on March 4, 2020 [4 favorites]
I love Taco Bell. If this is an opportunity for me to wax poetic about how amazing Soft Taco Supremes are, I'll take it! Also: the phantasmagorical chicken art that used to adorn the second floor of the KFO/Taco Bell on California in SF, many moons ago.
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:08 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:08 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
Or how the most treasured memory of my recent Vegas trip was dipping into the Taco Bell Cantina and finding not only delicious food and tasty adult beverages, but a shockingly compelling DJ. At 2pm!
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:20 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:20 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
Obviously this will be THE literary magazine of record in the time of the Demolition Man.
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:22 AM on March 4, 2020 [17 favorites]
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:22 AM on March 4, 2020 [17 favorites]
They still won't accept your stupid poetry, Kevin.
posted by briank at 10:27 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by briank at 10:27 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
Would this be something I’d only understand if I ever went to a Taco Bell?
posted by misterpatrick at 10:30 AM on March 4, 2020
posted by misterpatrick at 10:30 AM on March 4, 2020
Taco Bell Quarterly on LitHub
Not a joke, not affiliated with Taco Bell
posted by tofu_crouton at 10:36 AM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
Not a joke, not affiliated with Taco Bell
posted by tofu_crouton at 10:36 AM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
My friend and former MFA classmate Phoebe Wagner has a poem in the latest issue!
My - very possibly inaccurate - recollection is that TBQ emerged in the wake of a small Twitter dust-up about the notion that there were too many unselective hobbyist literary magazines publishing work of no particular quality. OK - none of us are here making money, none of us are here building our Deathless Literary Reputations, so why get that hung up on trying to be the New Yorker? What other territories are there to sow seeds in?
It's an ideal that I like very much, even if I'm still waiting for the right Taco Bell story to come to me before I submit anything.
posted by Jeanne at 10:43 AM on March 4, 2020 [12 favorites]
My - very possibly inaccurate - recollection is that TBQ emerged in the wake of a small Twitter dust-up about the notion that there were too many unselective hobbyist literary magazines publishing work of no particular quality. OK - none of us are here making money, none of us are here building our Deathless Literary Reputations, so why get that hung up on trying to be the New Yorker? What other territories are there to sow seeds in?
It's an ideal that I like very much, even if I'm still waiting for the right Taco Bell story to come to me before I submit anything.
posted by Jeanne at 10:43 AM on March 4, 2020 [12 favorites]
Better than Starbucks magazine. (Not a product of Starbucks coffeehouses, in fact, they insult Starbucks in their mission statement.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 10:43 AM on March 4, 2020
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 10:43 AM on March 4, 2020
Too bad they didn't decide to do a Wendy's Quarterly. With that chain's social media presence, a co-branding could've gotten a massive publicity boost.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:46 AM on March 4, 2020
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:46 AM on March 4, 2020
i personally prefer scholarly works subject to peer review such as the new england journal of mittens
posted by poffin boffin at 10:47 AM on March 4, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 10:47 AM on March 4, 2020 [9 favorites]
Malcolm Gladwell used a Taco Bell analogy on his podcast last year, and the whole time he was raving about how much he loves Taco Bell. There was no reason to doubt his sincerity, and yet, just like this, it didn’t feel totally serious for some reason. Maybe this is Taco Bell’s new marketing strategy: targeting the quasi-ironic middlebrow demographic. To which I say, I’ve always eaten at Taco Bell; thanks for recognizing it!
posted by kevinbelt at 11:02 AM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by kevinbelt at 11:02 AM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
Next up: Taco Time Magazine.
posted by outfielder at 11:16 AM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by outfielder at 11:16 AM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
2 things:
The hot sauce packets at Taco Bell have a relatively large number of different short phrases on them. If at least one item in every issue of Taco Bell Quarterly isn't poetry created with Taco Bell hot sauce packets, then they have missed a grand opportunity.
Also the packets at Taco Bell all look the same on the back, so you can play a Taco Bell version of the game 'memory' while eating.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:18 AM on March 4, 2020 [9 favorites]
The hot sauce packets at Taco Bell have a relatively large number of different short phrases on them. If at least one item in every issue of Taco Bell Quarterly isn't poetry created with Taco Bell hot sauce packets, then they have missed a grand opportunity.
Also the packets at Taco Bell all look the same on the back, so you can play a Taco Bell version of the game 'memory' while eating.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:18 AM on March 4, 2020 [9 favorites]
Too bad they didn't decide to do a Wendy's Quarterly.
Quarter-pounder-ly.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:20 AM on March 4, 2020 [8 favorites]
Quarter-pounder-ly.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:20 AM on March 4, 2020 [8 favorites]
We can’t even get extra sauce in the drive-thru.
Their regional franchisees really suck; without asking I always end up with enough sauce at the drive-thru that for the next couple of trips I tell them not to give me any sauce because I still have plenty at home from my last trip. Not that I go to Taco Bell that often. Nor Krystal.
posted by TedW at 11:32 AM on March 4, 2020
Their regional franchisees really suck; without asking I always end up with enough sauce at the drive-thru that for the next couple of trips I tell them not to give me any sauce because I still have plenty at home from my last trip. Not that I go to Taco Bell that often. Nor Krystal.
posted by TedW at 11:32 AM on March 4, 2020
¡Yo quiero prose!
posted by TedW at 11:34 AM on March 4, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by TedW at 11:34 AM on March 4, 2020 [5 favorites]
I feel like there should be a competition to see who can get the story that's the most thinly disguised metaphor for diarrhea accepted.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:36 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:36 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
This is absolute gold, and... it turns out I know one of the authors through the local zine community. Fantastic.
posted by bile and syntax at 11:41 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by bile and syntax at 11:41 AM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
Taco Bell is disgusting. I still remember, all too vividly, a high school friend's disgusting girlfriend eating it right there in front of God and everybody, some spicy viscous green-white slime oozing, steaming, from her burrito as she met my horrified eyes and opened her mouth to address me, me, her maw stuffed. Good Lord. I feel sick. I hate you, Taco Bell, I'll never stop hating you
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:45 AM on March 4, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:45 AM on March 4, 2020 [8 favorites]
A magazine about Taco Bell by Taco Bell for Taco Bell.*
*Except not.
posted by Young Kullervo at 11:53 AM on March 4, 2020
*Except not.
posted by Young Kullervo at 11:53 AM on March 4, 2020
Jason Polan, the artist with a great hand and excellent democratic tastes, had a little taco bell drawing club in manhattan. He died this year, but that drawing club was significant.
posted by PinkMoose at 12:12 PM on March 4, 2020
posted by PinkMoose at 12:12 PM on March 4, 2020
I mean, TBQ is fine for what it is, but they play it a little too safe in their editorial choices. I subscribe to Olé by Taco John's. Some criticize it for being too regional but I think this allows it to take more risks.
posted by castlebravo at 12:20 PM on March 4, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by castlebravo at 12:20 PM on March 4, 2020 [9 favorites]
Save it for Taco Bell Quarterly!
NO
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:24 PM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
NO
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:24 PM on March 4, 2020 [2 favorites]
I'm torn between my secret, slightly embarassing love of Taco Bell, and feeling a bit weird about doing volunteer work that serves as advertising for a large corporation. Convenience store nachos quarterly, or food truck burritos quarterly, on the other hand, I could really get behind with enthusiasm.
I finally got around to visiting the Taco Bell Cantina near me. But not before they lost their liquor license. Which makes it an ordinary Taco Bell with slightly heavier chairs. I'm not going to claim I didn't eat more than I needed.
posted by eotvos at 12:28 PM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
I finally got around to visiting the Taco Bell Cantina near me. But not before they lost their liquor license. Which makes it an ordinary Taco Bell with slightly heavier chairs. I'm not going to claim I didn't eat more than I needed.
posted by eotvos at 12:28 PM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
The person who runs this is one of my BFFs. I’m so proud of her.
posted by girlmightlive at 12:29 PM on March 4, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by girlmightlive at 12:29 PM on March 4, 2020 [6 favorites]
Also this is absolutely not a joke or secret marketing from Taco Bell. My friend is a wonderful writer who wants to shake up the literary world.
posted by girlmightlive at 12:32 PM on March 4, 2020 [16 favorites]
posted by girlmightlive at 12:32 PM on March 4, 2020 [16 favorites]
The_Vegetables: The hot sauce packets at Taco Bell have a relatively large number of different short phrases on them. If at least one item in every issue of Taco Bell Quarterly isn't poetry created with Taco Bell hot sauce packets, then they have missed a grand opportunity.
Challenge accepted, and bested: see Packet Hoarder by miss macross.
I was wasn't won over upon reading With Fire Sauce by Kelli Simpson (not my style), but Packet Hoarder worked for/on me.
PinkMoose: Jason Polan, the artist with a great hand and excellent democratic tastes, had a little taco bell drawing club in manhattan. He died this year, but that drawing club was significant.
Both that drawing club and this quarterly give me the impression of capitalizing on brand recognition in a quietly cheeky way, somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of a PR attempt at viral attention (astroturfing) and Yes Men taking a known brand to attack their work, where a project harmlessly co-opts a well-known brand to catch your attention instead of trying to find a catchy name of their own (not a dig on Taco Bell Quarterly).
girlmightlive, can you share their thoughts on the choice of the name? I'm rather intrigued :)
posted by filthy light thief at 1:09 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
Challenge accepted, and bested: see Packet Hoarder by miss macross.
I was wasn't won over upon reading With Fire Sauce by Kelli Simpson (not my style), but Packet Hoarder worked for/on me.
PinkMoose: Jason Polan, the artist with a great hand and excellent democratic tastes, had a little taco bell drawing club in manhattan. He died this year, but that drawing club was significant.
Both that drawing club and this quarterly give me the impression of capitalizing on brand recognition in a quietly cheeky way, somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of a PR attempt at viral attention (astroturfing) and Yes Men taking a known brand to attack their work, where a project harmlessly co-opts a well-known brand to catch your attention instead of trying to find a catchy name of their own (not a dig on Taco Bell Quarterly).
girlmightlive, can you share their thoughts on the choice of the name? I'm rather intrigued :)
posted by filthy light thief at 1:09 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
What are you kidding I haven't even gotten around to cancelling my subscription to Arthur Treacher's Biannual Feature yet
posted by phooky at 1:11 PM on March 4, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by phooky at 1:11 PM on March 4, 2020 [8 favorites]
Saxon Kane: "Obviously this will be THE literary magazine of record in the time of the Demolition Man."
A whole issue will be devoted to prose and poetry on how to use the shells.
posted by chavenet at 1:11 PM on March 4, 2020
A whole issue will be devoted to prose and poetry on how to use the shells.
posted by chavenet at 1:11 PM on March 4, 2020
Yeah, but in a few years, they'll just consolidate this into KenTacoHut Quarterly
posted by schmod at 1:14 PM on March 4, 2020
posted by schmod at 1:14 PM on March 4, 2020
Like magma from an
Upside down volcano peak
Taco Bell hot sauce
Thickly disguised metaphor...
posted by njohnson23 at 1:17 PM on March 4, 2020
Upside down volcano peak
Taco Bell hot sauce
Thickly disguised metaphor...
posted by njohnson23 at 1:17 PM on March 4, 2020
Poem in Pizza Hut
What?
Poem in Taco Bell
What?
Published in the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell
posted by betweenthebars at 1:36 PM on March 4, 2020 [5 favorites]
What?
Poem in Taco Bell
What?
Published in the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell
posted by betweenthebars at 1:36 PM on March 4, 2020 [5 favorites]
Filthy light thief, I’ll admit I never really discussed the choice of name with her but knowing her I do think it’s just meant to be cheeky and capitalizing on the number of people who seem to have had weird experiences at Taco Bell and strong opinions about Taco Bell.
posted by girlmightlive at 1:40 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by girlmightlive at 1:40 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
Taco Bell is disgusting.
kittens for breakfast
eponysterical?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:49 PM on March 4, 2020 [4 favorites]
kittens for breakfast
eponysterical?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:49 PM on March 4, 2020 [4 favorites]
We’re a reaction against everything. The gatekeepers. The taste-makers. The hipsters. Health food. Artists Who Wear Cute Scarves. Bitch-ass Wendy’s.
This list of "everything" consists entirely of very similar things.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 2:08 PM on March 4, 2020
This list of "everything" consists entirely of very similar things.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 2:08 PM on March 4, 2020
Except, well, I don't know what Wendy's is.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 2:08 PM on March 4, 2020
posted by Pyrogenesis at 2:08 PM on March 4, 2020
I just hope that this doesn't end up being a fraud, like that Journal of Southern Salsa Studies that turned out to be published out of New York City.
posted by Saxon Kane at 2:20 PM on March 4, 2020 [12 favorites]
posted by Saxon Kane at 2:20 PM on March 4, 2020 [12 favorites]
Theme song: Taco Bell's Canon
posted by chavenet at 2:28 PM on March 4, 2020 [10 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 2:28 PM on March 4, 2020 [10 favorites]
[outraged cowboy voice] New York City?!
posted by poffin boffin at 2:41 PM on March 4, 2020 [10 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 2:41 PM on March 4, 2020 [10 favorites]
I would subscribe to a literary journal entirely about that dumb salsa ad in a heartbeat
posted by phooky at 3:08 PM on March 4, 2020
posted by phooky at 3:08 PM on March 4, 2020
I subscribe to Olé by Taco John's. Some criticize it for being too regional but I think this allows it to take more risks.
Six pack and a pound, motherfuckas, six pack and a pound.
posted by 445supermag at 3:52 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
Six pack and a pound, motherfuckas, six pack and a pound.
posted by 445supermag at 3:52 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
@Pyrogenesis Wendy’s is a third-rate hamburger franchise. Not a competitor to Taco Bell at all, unless you compare crimes against humanity’s bowels.
Then it’s a Nuremburg tossup.
posted by drivingmenuts at 4:08 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
Then it’s a Nuremburg tossup.
posted by drivingmenuts at 4:08 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
I love Taco Bell. Unabashedly. No apologies. Also: Taco Bell has long been a great choice for my vegetarian and vegan friends. Lots to choose from.
I love this post.
posted by oflinkey at 5:17 PM on March 4, 2020
I love this post.
posted by oflinkey at 5:17 PM on March 4, 2020
Taco Cabana Quarterly or GTFO.
posted by NemesisVex at 8:09 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by NemesisVex at 8:09 PM on March 4, 2020 [1 favorite]
the only time
white people experience spice
they build monuments to their shit
posted by sensate at 8:41 PM on March 4, 2020 [4 favorites]
white people experience spice
they build monuments to their shit
posted by sensate at 8:41 PM on March 4, 2020 [4 favorites]
Would this be something I’d only understand if I ever went to a Taco Bell?
No: 20-odd years ago I had a short essay published online about how I had never had eaten at a Taco Bell, on account of there not being any Taco Bells For 100 miles, and that sounds like it would have been right in their wheelhouse.
posted by cardboard at 8:50 PM on March 4, 2020
No: 20-odd years ago I had a short essay published online about how I had never had eaten at a Taco Bell, on account of there not being any Taco Bells For 100 miles, and that sounds like it would have been right in their wheelhouse.
posted by cardboard at 8:50 PM on March 4, 2020
drivingmenuts: "Wendy’s is a third-rate hamburger franchise. Not a competitor to Taco Bell at all, unless you compare crimes against humanity’s bowels. "
I'm sure this could be more wrong, but it's hard to see how.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:53 PM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
I'm sure this could be more wrong, but it's hard to see how.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:53 PM on March 4, 2020 [3 favorites]
I thought this was poem was pretty touching: This Is Less To Say You Never Know What You Got Till It’s Gone, And More To Say It Is All Going To Be Gone One Day, And It Is Probably Getting Gone Faster Than You Know Or Would Care To Know, And I’m Not Saying To Look Around Or You Might Miss It, But I Am Saying I, For The Most Part, Did Miss It, And Remembering Is Harder Than It Sometimes Seems
posted by Corduroy at 12:16 AM on March 5, 2020
posted by Corduroy at 12:16 AM on March 5, 2020
Published in the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell
A Das Racist reference! In 2020! Here, have a favorite.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 12:48 AM on March 5, 2020
A Das Racist reference! In 2020! Here, have a favorite.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 12:48 AM on March 5, 2020
I'm not very impressed with the fiction submissions I've read there. I mean. The mission statement is the best thing I've found on their site so far.
Has anyone read a good story?
posted by Omnomnom at 6:46 AM on March 5, 2020
Has anyone read a good story?
posted by Omnomnom at 6:46 AM on March 5, 2020
I have eaten
the Taco Bell
that was in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
but why on Earth
were you saving that
anyway
posted by stevis23 at 7:23 AM on March 5, 2020 [5 favorites]
the Taco Bell
that was in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
but why on Earth
were you saving that
anyway
posted by stevis23 at 7:23 AM on March 5, 2020 [5 favorites]
I LOVE the Bell. When I moved to this country in the early 90's, this was one of the only places for a vegetarian like me to grab a quick bite for really cheap. They used to have 59 cent Bean Burritos. I can't imagine they made too much money selling a five pack of that to hungry grad students.
Even now; I like the fact that with all the plant-based foods that people are jumping on the bandwagon; Taco Bell came out saying that they were always Vegetarian Friendly and they don't need to tweak their menu to make it more. Respect!
posted by indianbadger1 at 8:43 AM on March 5, 2020 [3 favorites]
Even now; I like the fact that with all the plant-based foods that people are jumping on the bandwagon; Taco Bell came out saying that they were always Vegetarian Friendly and they don't need to tweak their menu to make it more. Respect!
posted by indianbadger1 at 8:43 AM on March 5, 2020 [3 favorites]
The day I found out that my wife had cancer, I went to a combination Taco Bell/KFC.
And that's when I clicked "close tab."
posted by zeusianfog at 9:40 AM on March 5, 2020
And that's when I clicked "close tab."
posted by zeusianfog at 9:40 AM on March 5, 2020
i guess i like their food well enough and i bet the magazine has good work, but there's no angle on valorizing a corporate national chain as an object of lowbrow cultural rebellion that isn't nauseating or depressing or dystopian. (also no way of whining about it without being an asshole). warhol is laughing at our clown asses right now and we should have imprisoned him in the nightmare tetrahedron when we had the chance.
posted by jy4m at 2:19 PM on March 5, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by jy4m at 2:19 PM on March 5, 2020 [2 favorites]
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I'm unsure as to whether or not I can believe this claim. That being said, I really dislike this new era of ironic stunt marketing/advertising. We've seen it play out in viral videos, video games, websites, and now so called "literary" journals. 🙄
posted by Fizz at 9:25 AM on March 4, 2020 [8 favorites]