September 5, 2002

11:42 PM

Looking for a gift for that special child? A battery of reviewers at Amazon are just humming over the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom. Harry Potter toys aren't usually worth the buzz they generate, but the users of this one seem positively stimulated about the good vibes.
posted by swell (109 comments total)

As Source: Ufez Jones so elquently put it, Buddha on a Harley, can we please put giant flaming 40 foot letters saying "we've already seen the farking harry potter broom review thing 10 times!!!"????!!!???
posted by riffola at 11:47 PM on September 5, 2002

oops screwed that up
posted by riffola at 11:48 PM on September 5, 2002

Oh dear....I feel a flurry of comments relating to the TOP ENTRY ON THE SIDEBAR!!!!
posted by mattr at 11:49 PM on September 5, 2002

Oh Jeebus I think my butt just fell off. Maybe a pop-up instead of the sidebar?
posted by littlegreenlights at 11:50 PM on September 5, 2002

So, let me get this straight... the toy broom, it vibrates?!
posted by crunchland at 11:50 PM on September 5, 2002 [10 favorites]

Score one more for the "Well I thought it was funny" team!

(just good-natured ribbing, please don't ban me)
posted by Stan Chin at 11:51 PM on September 5, 2002

Vibrating toy broom... overlords... welcome.. yadda yadda yadda.
posted by slipperywhenwet at 11:55 PM on September 5, 2002

AYBABROOMTU
posted by crasspastor at 12:01 AM on September 6, 2002

check out these hilarious comic strips I found!
posted by captain obvious at 12:04 AM on September 6, 2002

What concerns me more than my claustrophobic feelings of anxiety brought on by these haunting Nimbus posts, is the fact that apparently, none of the Legion of Numbus Posters have bothered to glance at MeFi at all lately. Just another signpost pointing towards our bloat. If we were a marshmellow...we would be all over the microwave by now.
posted by StrangerInAStrainedLand at 12:10 AM on September 6, 2002

this makes, what, four times in a week?
posted by mcsweetie at 12:12 AM on September 6, 2002

check out these hilarious comic strips I found!
posted by eyeballkid at 12:13 AM on September 6, 2002

check out these hilarious comic strips I found!
posted by eyeballkid at 12:16 AM on September 6, 2002

You know those bad horror flics where the monster keeps rising from the dead? Don't care for them much. Except maybe Evil Dead 2.
posted by euphorb at 12:18 AM on September 6, 2002

check out these hilarious comic strips I found!
posted by adamgreenfield at 12:19 AM on September 6, 2002

Stranger, I admit I don't read the sidebar often, and I would have missed it, too. A search doesn't find it. These posts get deleted rapidly, so unless you happen to see it in the brief interval it exists, the only way to know that it's been posted is lofi.mefi.

Maybe Matt should add to the guidelines something about how if your item is on Fark, Memepool, or Slashdot, it's probably already had enough exposure, and doesn't need to be here as well.

Either that, or a frontpage background graphic of a 'no brooms' symbol.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 12:22 AM on September 6, 2002

Have you guys heard about that broomstick they're selling over at amazon ?
posted by *JazZ* at 12:33 AM on September 6, 2002

Metafilter: stuck in a temporal loop.
posted by hot soup girl at 12:34 AM on September 6, 2002

Someday they're gonna build cities around that toy broom.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:40 AM on September 6, 2002

check out these hilarious comic strips I found!
posted by littlegreenlights at 12:41 AM on September 6, 2002

b r a i n s ?
posted by holloway at 12:49 AM on September 6, 2002

Metafilter: stuck in a temporal loop.
posted by vacapinta at 12:50 AM on September 6, 2002

Metafilter: stuck in a comicstripbroom.
posted by eyeballkid at 12:53 AM on September 6, 2002

My eyes... the goggles do nothing!
posted by crunchburger at 1:05 AM on September 6, 2002

What's all this fuss about vibrating booms? I, for one, love Kipling and all his work:

"Then, perhaps, a little rain falls, and all the trees and the bushes and the bamboos and the mosses and the juicy-leaved plants wake with a noise of growing that you can almost hear, and under this noise runs, day and night, a deep hum. That is the noise of the spring--a vibrating boom which is neither bees, nor falling water, nor the wind in tree-tops, but the purring of the warm, happy world."

What? Vibrating Brooms? Oh. Never mind.
posted by taz at 1:08 AM on September 6, 2002

Someday they're gonna architect cities around these comic strips I found!
posted by adamgreenfield at 1:21 AM on September 6, 2002

Does Ann Coulter have one of these?
posted by HTuttle at 1:33 AM on September 6, 2002

ARE THERE INSTRUCTIONS? thread done. Over and out.
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 1:41 AM on September 6, 2002

The new and improved 'Matt-a-filter' (tm): Automattically deleting any post containing 'broomstick' and 'vibrat.*'
posted by nathan_teske at 1:48 AM on September 6, 2002

A little insight into why this has popped up so many times in the last couple of days. Yes, some of them might have been people not paying attention, but in other cases, they likely never saw the previous posting(s).
Now, calm down and just let the thread go. Matt will trash it in the morning.
posted by Su at 1:49 AM on September 6, 2002

My eyes... the Google does nothing!
posted by Orange Goblin at 4:04 AM on September 6, 2002

please hope me! i can't escape those damned brooms! has anyone seen this wonderful satire site?
posted by adampsyche at 4:06 AM on September 6, 2002

Adampsyche - The Onion is a great site but I don't see anything there relating to this story...
posted by kevin123 at 4:08 AM on September 6, 2002

*cries*
posted by baby_jeebus at 4:12 AM on September 6, 2002

Kittens!
posted by soundofsuburbia at 4:22 AM on September 6, 2002

It's a pity, because the post is so amusingly written. So before it incurs the penalty for the serious felony of sidebar disobedience, here's a little consolatory Lorenz Hart for swell:

Thou swell, Thou witty,
Thou sweet, thou grand.
Wouldst kiss me pretty?
Wouldst hold my hand?
Both thine eyes are cute too,
what they do to me,
Hear me holler:
Why choose the Potter lollapaloosa for me?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 4:23 AM on September 6, 2002

well, now you've done it. I'm here.
posted by TheApocalypse at 5:44 AM on September 6, 2002

Does it come with instruc.................ahhh fukit.
posted by Dr_Octavius at 5:45 AM on September 6, 2002

Sad thing is we have 2 of them in our house.
posted by quibx at 6:10 AM on September 6, 2002

Harry Potter. I love that little imp.
posted by pardonyou? at 6:13 AM on September 6, 2002

Metafilter: stuck in a temporal loop.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:14 AM on September 6, 2002

How come a Britney Spears likes porn link can stay up, but this Harry Potter Broomstick link keeps getting killed?

Just leave the damn thing up already, and we won't have to keep seeing it.
posted by eas98 at 6:19 AM on September 6, 2002

I heard it's the latest innovation in the war on terror. Look out, Saddam... this thing vibrates!
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 6:34 AM on September 6, 2002

Ok, so let me get this straight ... this toy broom, it vibrates?
posted by crunchland at 6:35 AM on September 6, 2002

::Clears throat::

Buddha Vishnu on a Harley Vespa, can we please put giant flaming 40 foot letters saying "we've already seen the farking harry potter broom review thing 10 times!!!"????!!!???
posted by Ufez Jones at 6:46 AM on September 6, 2002

*POP* I see you're trying to post about the vibrating Harry Potter broom! Would you like to see the help topic associated with this item? [ YES ] [ NO, POST IT AGAIN! ]
posted by Danelope at 6:46 AM on September 6, 2002

The nature of Harry Potter vibrating broom was irrepressible.
posted by yhbc at 6:48 AM on September 6, 2002

*makes stone tablet decreeing the 11th Commandment against posting about the Vibrating Broom*
posted by baby_jeebus at 6:49 AM on September 6, 2002

the original vibrating, motorized pen in hot new clear colors
creates squiggle writing loops with replaceable color points
hours of creative fun
posted by pekar wood at 6:52 AM on September 6, 2002

Say what you will, I laughed harder at this thread than most.
posted by norm at 6:56 AM on September 6, 2002

If the nimbus 2000 didn't take your fancy, there is always the electronic Quidditch game. The player straddles the broomstick and sort of waves the handle about a bit.
posted by Tarrama at 7:21 AM on September 6, 2002

WAIT!!! What about vibrating toothbrushes? Am I a bad older sister if I buy my little sister one of those?
posted by jennak at 7:25 AM on September 6, 2002

Does it come with instructions?
posted by Dr_Octavius at 7:32 AM on September 6, 2002

I think the David Hasselhoff meme provides much better entertainment value. The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good.
posted by O9scar at 7:34 AM on September 6, 2002

It's those damned Wiccans....
posted by rushmc at 7:37 AM on September 6, 2002

C'mon guys -- get off this guy's case. I didn't see the broom until last night. And I read MeFi daily.
posted by jennak at 7:41 AM on September 6, 2002

Yeah, the Ninbus 2000 is a nice broom, but I'm saving my Galleons for a Firebolt
posted by jazon at 7:43 AM on September 6, 2002

The Curse of the Haunted Link!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:48 AM on September 6, 2002

HTuttle: How do you think she gets to work?

New tagline?

Metafilter: Enough with the broom already.
posted by trondant at 7:59 AM on September 6, 2002

Metafilter: stuck in a temporal loop.
posted by picea at 8:05 AM on September 6, 2002

Ah, Trondant, that's the best tagline of this topic so far.
posted by SpecialK at 8:07 AM on September 6, 2002

MetaFilter: History Repeats Itself.

MetaFilter: History Repeats Itself.
posted by SpecialK at 8:08 AM on September 6, 2002

Metafiilter: take that goddamned broom and...
posted by adampsyche at 8:08 AM on September 6, 2002

check out these hilarious comic strips I found!
posted by gen at 8:08 AM on September 6, 2002

What's funny is that with high probability, more than a few MeFites still haven't read about this broom, here or anywhere else, and if this thread were deleted once again, one of them would repost it.
posted by mischief at 8:10 AM on September 6, 2002

you all know I'm still upon you because of this right?

or should it have been a left at WallaWalla?
posted by TheApocalypse at 8:30 AM on September 6, 2002

<worf>I am experiencing ni-pokh -- the feeling I have done this before.</worf>
posted by mcwetboy at 8:35 AM on September 6, 2002

Get your own broomstick, f**kwit.
posted by evanizer at 8:36 AM on September 6, 2002

*makes stone tablet decreeing the 11th Commandment against posting about the Vibrating Broom*

Son, I know You weren't around quite yet, but it's already in the Commandments.
Rule I ("Thou shalt have no other gods before me"), Subset B, Item vi clearly states: "Thine vibrating brooms shall be removed of their batteries, and kept away from the eyes of thy neighbor. Do this in honor of Me."

I can't help it if these humans can't follow the rules. What do You want me to do, smite each one into a pillar of salt every time one posts this thread?

Oh, very well: Posters, I damn thee!
posted by Voice of God at 8:46 AM on September 6, 2002

I like pancakes.
posted by briank at 8:51 AM on September 6, 2002

Metafilter: stuck in a temporal...

temporal...

temporal...
posted by hot soup girl at 8:52 AM on September 6, 2002

gee, thanks, dad. always undermining me and embarrassing me in front of my friends...can i borrow the car?
posted by adampsyche at 9:01 AM on September 6, 2002

psst - adam: your "altar" ego is showing.
posted by yhbc at 9:05 AM on September 6, 2002

D'oh! Not good adam.
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:06 AM on September 6, 2002

*hides*
posted by adampsyche at 9:07 AM on September 6, 2002

check out these hilarious comic strips I found!
posted by priyanga at 9:10 AM on September 6, 2002

[c3p0 voice]sir, it's against my programming to impersonate a deity[/c3p0 voice]
posted by adampsyche at 9:11 AM on September 6, 2002

I heard Amazon's now selling Qiddich Nipple Clamps too.
posted by Fofer at 9:26 AM on September 6, 2002

Well, I was going to pancake the thread....but since I've done that five freakin times this week...I offer you the:

Hello Kitty Massager...it vibrates!
posted by dejah420 at 9:51 AM on September 6, 2002

dejah, that is so wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to

* head explodes *
posted by yhbc at 9:57 AM on September 6, 2002

Check out this great new website I found!
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:06 AM on September 6, 2002

Metafilter: caught in a vibrating temporal loop.

We love the buzzzzzz.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:28 AM on September 6, 2002

"F r e e B i r d !"
posted by mkelley at 10:28 AM on September 6, 2002

"Headmaster Dumbledore spent the rest of his life in a wheelchair. He became angry and withdrew from the world, chain-smoking Marlboros and writing op-ed pieces for The American Spectator. Hermione aborted the fetus, but later regretted her decision and became an outspoken champion for the pro-life movement. Harry Potter bought a house on the coast and threw cocaine parties there until his money ran out and his friends left him.

Harry and Hermione met one more time, at a Republican congressional fund-raiser. They spent the night together and were young again until the morning came and they realised that they were not meant for each other. Hermione tried to commit suicide by overdosing on Vicodin, but was unsuccessful. Harry took a trip across the country to try and clear his thoughts.

On a beach in Mexico, with a Margarita in his hand, he had a moment of clarity. He found religion and joined a monastery in Tibet for several years. He later learned that Hogwarts had mortgaged itself heavily and was being investigated for tax evasion.

Hermione married, but for convenience rather than love. She had two children and was comfortable, but never really satisfied with her life. Sometimes, she would sit for hours and think of Harry. Harry, deep in meditation, tried his best to forget her."
posted by Hildago at 10:47 AM on September 6, 2002

Oh my GOD, deja. I need to go post that to the front page now.
posted by SpecialK at 11:05 AM on September 6, 2002

What, is this still here?
posted by mcwetboy at 11:06 AM on September 6, 2002

dejah, that is so wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to

* head explodes *

You'd better stay away from the (very work-unsafe) Baby Jesus Butt Plug page, then. It's appeared in comments here a couple of times before, but never on the front page. Interesting quotes from the founders here.
posted by mediareport at 11:25 AM on September 6, 2002

The masses have spoken and in one mighty voice they have cried, "NIMBUS."

Perhaps Matt has decided that is spawned a worthwhile discussion after all. Plus, by leaving it up, nobody else has an excuse to put it up again ever.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:25 AM on September 6, 2002

In any case, I want this toy which somehow reminds me one of my favorite toys of all time,
posted by vacapinta at 12:04 PM on September 6, 2002

I think that's more like it, Joey. So bring on the bunnies and pancakes! Ooh, Haiku!

give good vibrations
order nimbus two thousand
make happy children
posted by SpecialK at 12:16 PM on September 6, 2002

Here's something that might actually salvage a flailing thread. Did you know the origins of broomsticks? They were simply dildos covered with a hallucinogenic paste. A little action by a witch and boom, you're flying.

I swear, it's all here (Warning: geocities page with wav sample)
posted by jeremias at 12:34 PM on September 6, 2002

Does this really need salvaging? After all, it's almost divine in its lack of focus.
posted by me3dia at 12:47 PM on September 6, 2002

jeremias, there's at least two or three very worthy taglines in that post of yours.
posted by adampsyche at 1:01 PM on September 6, 2002

Does this really need salvaging? After all, it's almost divine in its lack of focus.

Delicious.
posted by TheApocalypse at 1:09 PM on September 6, 2002

And what is the benefit of having a broom that vibrates? Does it make it sweep faster?
posted by quin at 2:08 PM on September 6, 2002

And what is the benefit of having a broom that vibrates? Does it make it sweep faster?

Interesting. Tell me more about this vibrating broom.
posted by pardonyou? at 2:13 PM on September 6, 2002

What, is this still here?  
posted by mcwetboy at 3:19 PM on September 6, 2002

Does it come in a ribbed version?
posted by adampsyche at 3:55 PM on September 6, 2002

Stop the insanity! (Warning: ultra-conservative website link)
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 4:13 PM on September 6, 2002

Also, check out the Hello Kkitty V-v-v-vib-rat-t-torrrr....
sucks to be/...
posted by pekar wood at 4:14 PM on September 6, 2002

[i]And what is the benefit of having a broom that vibrates? Does it make it sweep faster?[/i]

No, but it makes for happy housewives.
posted by SpecialK at 4:24 PM on September 6, 2002

wow! Thanks for introducing me to The Leftersons, thatweirdguy2!

It's better than Family Circus and Marmaduke put together!!
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:24 PM on September 6, 2002

Does it come in a ribbed version?

i suppose that if the handle was ribbed it might be easier to hold... waitaminute, are you guys talking about something else?

oooh, i see.
posted by quin at 5:01 PM on September 6, 2002

"Temporal loop"? Either there's no Dr. Who fans here, or none of them can spell "Chronosynclastic infundibulum". Ha-ha, I made the spell-checker's head explode!
posted by Nicolae Carpathia at 7:02 PM on September 6, 2002

check out this cool new candy i found (IT LOOKS LIKE A DILDO AND SQUIRTS OUT GOO)!
and there's a hello kitty vibrater too (IT VIBRATES)! have you heard about the baby jesus butt plug (YOU PUT IT IN YOUR BUTT)! did you know that there's a pen that vibrates (IT REMINDS ME OF A VIBRATING DILDO)! thanks you guys!!!!

and you'll never guess what the new harry potter vibrating broomstick can be used for...


(secret thrill in perpetuating phallic memes)

by the way, ever been to Long's Bookstore in Columbus, Ohio? Their sign looks like a giant ... actually, nevermind.
posted by priyanga at 3:24 PM on September 7, 2002

finally , i find the harry potter thread.........it really has been so worth it....
posted by sgt.serenity at 8:15 PM on September 7, 2002

Has anybody heard about this cool new Harry Potter gift that the kids are going crazy about? I't called "the flying vacuum" or something and it's really cool!
posted by hama7 at 12:12 AM on September 8, 2002

I heard it VIBRATES! *tee, hee*
posted by whatnot at 9:11 PM on September 8, 2002

Behind the scenes: Mattel execs brainstorm merchandising ideas with J K Rowling.
posted by hot soup girl at 8:55 AM on September 12, 2002