Only 90s kids will understand

October 25, 2023 10:15 AM

Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, marries Riley Hawk, son of Tony Hawk, in ceremony officiated by R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe
posted by The Pluto Gangsta (60 comments total)

I, for one, welcome the new season of Celebrity Mad Libs.
posted by procrastination at 10:16 AM on October 25, 2023 [47 favorites]

The bride and groom are 31 and 30 respectively. You cannot fathom how old this headline makes me feel in my bones.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 10:16 AM on October 25, 2023 [85 favorites]

"...That's the news for now, stay tuned for more throughout the day, here on MTV" — Kurt Loder

👨‍🚀🇺🇸🎶📺
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:21 AM on October 25, 2023 [72 favorites]

I hope people recognize Riley wherever he goes.
posted by SaltySalticid at 10:23 AM on October 25, 2023 [21 favorites]

I wish them only happiness.
posted by gwint at 10:26 AM on October 25, 2023 [16 favorites]

lol this is indeed peak 90s
posted by supermedusa at 10:26 AM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]

My 14-year-old self is very pleased with this.


My 46-year-old self, realizing that Frances is four years older than her father was when he died, is going to be sitting in the semi-dark this evening, listening to old albums and thinking about things.
posted by heyitsgogi at 10:33 AM on October 25, 2023 [52 favorites]

Have we got a comment from Ja Rule yet?
posted by Meatbomb at 10:34 AM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]

Too much fucking perspective.
posted by snofoam at 10:35 AM on October 25, 2023 [12 favorites]

BRB, gotta go change into some flannel and Docs.
posted by wenestvedt at 10:39 AM on October 25, 2023 [4 favorites]

This news is everywhere on my socials right now, which I suspect says something very specific about my age.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:45 AM on October 25, 2023 [3 favorites]

I'm not typically one for celebrity gossip, but this is such a peak "90s kids" headline that it resonates deep within my soul. Like heyitsgogi, I will probably be listening to some old Nirvana albums later today.
posted by asnider at 10:46 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

what little i know about frances bean cobain suggests she’s a totally decent person who deserves all the best. if what little i know isn’t true and she’s not, may she have her revenge on seattle anyway.

from her wikipedia page which i just ran off to check:

At the [2018 growing up kurt cobain] exhibition, Cobain said she often uses the phrase, 'peace, love, empathy', which her father used in his suicide note, because she wants to "reclaim the peace, love, empathy thing as something that's meant for health and for compassion and for true peace, love, and empathy."[48]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 10:46 AM on October 25, 2023 [34 favorites]

At the bottom of a dark Scottish loch, the Spice Girls slowly awaken.
posted by credulous at 10:47 AM on October 25, 2023 [98 favorites]

This headline has aged me at least a decade in 10 seconds, but nevertheless I wish these two Peak 90s Babies well.
posted by EvaDestruction at 10:48 AM on October 25, 2023 [7 favorites]

“I was around 15 when I realized he was inescapable,” she told Rolling Stone. “Even if I was in a car and had the radio on, there’s my dad.”

What a mindfuck. I’ve been going on a YouTube-fueled grunge binge lately. It’s really wonderful to be able to watch recordings of live performances and interviews from the late 80’s / early 90’s. It conveys the raw energy of that time so much better than listening to highly produced studio albums. This has me more attuned to Kurt Cobain, and he is, indeed, everywhere.

I wish them happiness.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 10:49 AM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]

i’ve got a tshirt that reads “lamestain” in the nirvana font and colors and i think i’ll wear it today
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 10:51 AM on October 25, 2023 [4 favorites]

did John in the Morning or Cheryl Waters have a comment? were they ring bearers?
posted by kokaku at 10:57 AM on October 25, 2023 [9 favorites]

I think if you put a photo of Kurt and Courtney in an AI to blend them you would get Frances Bean! she is a stunning blend of them. the best of them (I hope, for her)
posted by supermedusa at 11:01 AM on October 25, 2023 [5 favorites]

was this arranged by the Bene Gen-Xerit
posted by dismas at 11:15 AM on October 25, 2023 [67 favorites]

EvaDestruction: ...I wish these two Peak 90s Babies well.

So, beanie babies?
posted by wenestvedt at 11:25 AM on October 25, 2023 [5 favorites]

did John in the Morning or Cheryl Waters have a comment? were they ring bearers?

No, but apparently there was involvement from Drew Barrymore.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:33 AM on October 25, 2023

👨‍🚀🇺🇸🎶📺
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich

Thanks for the instantaneous earworm! :D
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:42 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

(although technically it should be 🚀👨‍🚀🇺🇸🎶📺)
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:44 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]

You cannot fathom how old this headline makes me feel in my bones.

You mean right in your Bones Brigade!

*tries to do a kickflip, falls, bruises tailbone and sits down for a long while*
posted by loquacious at 11:59 AM on October 25, 2023 [10 favorites]

*slowly sits down and stares off in elder millennial*
posted by eekernohan at 12:06 PM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]

and that my friends is a BINGO!
posted by SonInLawOfSam at 12:18 PM on October 25, 2023 [4 favorites]

You cannot fathom how old this headline makes me feel in my bones.

Oh yes, I can. Old enough that I will now have "School" stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 12:28 PM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

Have we got a comment from Ja Rule yet?

Or, was Spencer Elden invited?
posted by y2karl at 12:35 PM on October 25, 2023 [3 favorites]

there was involvement from Drew Barrymore.

Barrymore and Stipe (the officiant) are Cobain's godparents.
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:59 PM on October 25, 2023 [4 favorites]

and yet we still have capitalism.
posted by philip-random at 1:10 PM on October 25, 2023 [4 favorites]

Right after Kurt's suicide, I was at a Mudhoney show in NYC and Mark Arm said then-bassist Matt Lukin had just become a dad, and Matt ambled up to the mic and said in a gleeful voice, "Yeah, and I'm gonna be around to raise 'em"...
posted by AJaffe at 1:39 PM on October 25, 2023

Only 90s kids will understand

As a parent of 90s kids (well...born in the 80s, achieved sentience in the 90s) I get this completely and think it’s really cool. I can’t get over how much Riley looks like his dad.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:46 PM on October 25, 2023 [4 favorites]

And I'm sitting here trying to remember the last time I was slam dancing. Ah, I think I remember, it would have been like 2008-ish when I was still living in the weird techno/art space and we had a night of breakcore and hybrid electronic death metal kind of very loud thing going on and was mainly letting people bounce off of me and being gentle but immobile.

It's a shame my bones aren't up for that kind of action any more because I'm large and squishy (always have been, really) and I make a good target. I always thought it was fun when there's enough people crashing into me from all sides there's just kind of an equilibrium as I get bounced around and I barely had to balance or catch myself from falling over like a weeble-wobble..

Back when I was going to a lot more punk and ska shows people used to take flying leaps at me and try to bowl me over but I've always been a lot heavier than I look so I can only imagine it was like slamming into a mattress-shaped brick wall. Even when I was skinnier and in better shape and people tried to guess how much I actually weighed they were usually off by a good 30-50 pounds heavier than they thought I was.

However I think the last time I was on a skateboard was just before the pandemic. The youngsters were impressed I could do some 180 pivots, manuals and a little nose slide and a bit of of a 5-0 stall. Never could ollie for shit, though.

Anyway, this is one of the cooler and more fun pieces of news I've heard in ages and I wish them the best.
posted by loquacious at 1:51 PM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]

“Right after Kurt's suicide, I was at a Mudhoney show in NYC and Mark Arm said then-bassist Matt Lukin had just become a dad, and Matt ambled up to the mic and said in a gleeful voice, "Yeah, and I'm gonna be around to raise 'em”...

I remember people being shocked at Love's angry words at the public memorial. I thought they were warranted, but then I've seen the devastation that my paternal grandfather's suicide caused and which has continued to resonate through the years.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 1:56 PM on October 25, 2023 [9 favorites]

This story is so 90s it's wearing JNCOs.
posted by tommasz at 2:12 PM on October 25, 2023 [7 favorites]

The whole article reads like an Onion article from 1998 in which it tries to predict the world, 25 years in the future.
posted by hydra77 at 2:18 PM on October 25, 2023 [13 favorites]

I can’t get over how much Riley looks like his dad.

I was thinking Frances Bean looks exactly like what you'd get if you put Kurt and Courtney's pictures into one of those old "what will your baby look like" websites. It's kind of uncanny how much she looks like both of her parents. Most people have some amount of family resemblance, but hers is really quite striking.
posted by asnider at 2:21 PM on October 25, 2023 [4 favorites]

I remember people being shocked at Love's angry words at the public memorial.

I was there. Sorrowful was my take.
posted by y2karl at 2:22 PM on October 25, 2023 [5 favorites]

The whole article reads like an Onion article from 1998 in which it tries to predict the world, 25 years in the future.

This feels true enough that I went and checked to be sure. They do have stories about Frances Cobain but not this one.
posted by jacquilynne at 2:27 PM on October 25, 2023 [3 favorites]

did Cake do the catering
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 3:08 PM on October 25, 2023 [19 favorites]

Trying to picture mother-of-the-bride Courtney Love dressed in wedding atti—
no, wait, my memory's coming back
posted by not_on_display at 3:11 PM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]

As someone who always thought Courtney Love looked great (on top of being a talented musicial artist), having never seen a picture of adult Frances...wow. Good luck to these guys, many happy returns.
posted by maxwelton at 3:50 PM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

For more peak 90s, this week’s Conan O’Brian Needs a Friend is Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic, and Steve Albini talking about making In Utero. It’s great and has some amazing stories of prank calls and other hijinks during the recording. A little bit of we miss Kurt, but it’s mostly about good stuff.
posted by caviar2d2 at 3:57 PM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

I wish them every happiness, well off my lawn.
posted by Capt. Renault at 4:07 PM on October 25, 2023 [8 favorites]

At my old job I kept clips of a cartoon from the The Stranger (a free weekly in Seattle) called "If Cobain Had Lived". I wish I could find them.

One shows a comfortable dad-bod Kurt in sunnies puttering around on a Segway with a cell phone stuck to his ear, rolling his way to a fro-yo shop. Another shows a tabloid expose about his daughter petulantly asking him for more money.

I think about those cartoons from time to time, about the banality of life in infinite parallel universes. We do seem to get the consensual reality we deserve, I guess.

Mazel to the new couple. Marriage is not easy. Communicate and forgive.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 4:29 PM on October 25, 2023 [5 favorites]

It's funny when I read that headline I thought, "Frances Bean? Isn't she a baby?" And then realised that she is 30 years old... and I then turned into dust.
posted by Ashwagandha at 4:51 PM on October 25, 2023 [19 favorites]

I did a storytelling show last night, and was adlibbing per usual, and began it with "Let's roll all the way back to 1993, twenty whole years ago", and my teenage daughter from the audience yelled out "Dude, it's 30 years", and the whole house was like aw man I feel that.
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 6:27 PM on October 25, 2023 [9 favorites]

This is MY royal wedding
posted by potrzebie at 6:40 PM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]

I was thinking Frances Bean looks exactly like what you'd get if you put Kurt and Courtney's pictures into one of those old "what will your baby look like" websites.

It gets weirder. According to Courtney Love, "“I’m at least five-eighths Jewish, depending on whether my grandfather was that famous actor or Sam Brand, a publicist for that actor." (cite). When Love says "that actor," she's referring to rumors that her mother was the illegitimate offspring of novelist Paula Fox and a young Marlon Brando. According to this Reddit genealogy page, Frances Bean Cobain has discreetly opened up an account on familysearch.org, where she's listed Brand as her grandfather. But then again, if a Hollywood star did have an illegitimate child back in the 1940s, having the publicist claim to be the baby daddy is precisely what an old-school Hollywood publicist would do. Sounds sus to me, as the kids say.
posted by jonp72 at 6:53 PM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

Hello fellow piles of dust, I'm just here blowing away in the wind and reminiscing about the last time I saw a photo of Frances Bean, which was when she was a baby and I was in high school

What is time anymore, and is dust even able to read a clock; please let me know, it's important
posted by May Kasahara at 7:09 PM on October 25, 2023 [11 favorites]

1) I found this pretty sweet
2) Francis Bean strikes me as a cool, grounded person. Especially given everything.
3) Thanks, this news for reminding me that my 30th high school reunion is (checks watch) imminent.

At the bottom of a dark Scottish loch, the Spice Girls slowly awaken.

I finally got Covid (first time) last week. This is relevant because I watched a lot of Netflix, including “Beckham” and Posh, at least, is definitely not sleeping
posted by thivaia at 8:44 PM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]

> Frances Bean strikes me as a cool, grounded person. Especially given everything.

good job to everyone who kept her (mostly) out of the public eye until she was grown, good job to everyone who successfully raised a cool-ass person under hard circumstances. it's got to be a real fuck to enter the world knowing that this is your inheritance:

1. great tragedy
2. fame unless you can avoid it
3. great talent from both sides
4. great risk of mental illness from both sides
5. the knowledge that the world will ever so often randomly bomb you with the voice of your lost father, singing the songs that document the talent and tragedy and depression that killed him

the narrative of her life insofar as i know it (which i don't) is kind of reminiscent of those victorian-era novels where the first two thirds are about doomed love and tragedy and the last third is about the next generation after that living the happy lives the previous generation deserved. or i guess maybe that's just the narrative i want to see, i dunno. i guess as someone who grew up in seattle and who was just beginning to form opinions about music and culture and stuff right when kurt cobain died, i've always had a little tiny background process in my head that sat around hoping that frances bean ended up okay. and she did!

in conclusion: frances bean cobain, yay! and riley hawk too!
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 7:28 AM on October 26, 2023 [11 favorites]

When that item passed through my socials feed a couple of days ago, I thought it was merely clickbait and passed on without reading. It seems like a good match so mazeltov to the happy couple!
posted by Lynsey at 7:39 AM on October 26, 2023

and it's so narratively perfect, too, that she's together with tony hawk's kid. like, if what the Internet says about tony hawk is true, her partner has the most absolutely stable totally decent 100% solid dad possible.

i'm totally fuckin' squee about this whole thing, obviously.
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 7:40 AM on October 26, 2023 [3 favorites]

They sucked his brains out, I don’t think this sounds exactly like the cartoon you mentioned but here is Ward Sutton’s In Bloom: The Alternate History of Kurt Cobain.
posted by larrybob at 9:48 AM on October 26, 2023 [3 favorites]

This was a different artist, I'm sure of it. But I love Ward Sutton!
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 4:52 PM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]

Cobain, who owns rights to her father’s image and likeness

I find that interesting. Why didn't the rights go to Courtney Love?
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:30 AM on October 27, 2023

They did, originally; it's a saga: Documents show that in 2009, following her losing custody battle for Frances in 2009, Courtney agreed to step down as the administrator of End of Music LLC in exchange for $2.75 million, paid out to through Frances’ trust fund.
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:07 PM on October 27, 2023 [2 favorites]

Such a twisting Byzantine history seems apropos for a car wreck of a celebrity.
posted by y2karl at 11:08 AM on November 3, 2023