Dubya Subpoenaed For Texas Rape of Minor

December 11, 2002 2:58 PM

Dubya Subpoenaed For Texas Rape of Minor (link is to a PDF)

It says in this court document on the Office of the County Clerk, Fort Bend County Texas site that Dubya has been accused legally of having sex with a minor, and then using his powers as President to harass her into committing suicide.
Wonder if this will make the mainstream media? You can be sure that if it was Slick Willie being accused the Republicrats would see to it that it did.
Link to an HTML version for the PDF impaired.

posted by metameme (47 comments total)

Shrub Rub. Brilliant.
posted by jimmy at 3:06 PM on December 11, 2002

It looks like a garden-variety wacko....I'm sure the tinfoil-hat crowd files lots of stuff like this against whoever's in office.
posted by Vidiot at 3:10 PM on December 11, 2002

"You can be sure that if it was Slick Willie being accused the Republicrats would see to it that it did."

You honestly can't believe that, can you? When Reps are in office the media is accused of being Liberal and now the Dems are accusing the media of being conservative. WTF?
posted by mkelley at 3:15 PM on December 11, 2002

How can this even make it into a court of law? I quote: "Plaintiff learned that there was no time that the Defendant [Bush] ever stopped watching Plaintiff, nor did he stop having sex with Plaintiff." That doesn't even make sense.
posted by risenc at 3:16 PM on December 11, 2002

I'm having trouble following this. So it's saying the FBI raped her husband to try and get her to commit suicide?

It sounds like total BS, but it's so full of hard data that could be verified or refuted rather easily. I would think a journalist could prove this was bogus in less than 24 hours.

And I have no idea how these things work, but just because this is filed doesn't mean anything right? I mean anyone can file a subpoena?
posted by y6y6y6 at 3:16 PM on December 11, 2002

Note, also, that the complaint was filed pro se -- the plaintiff was representing herself.

That doesn't mean by itself that the complaint isn't legitimate, but it certainly cuts down on the probability.
posted by Vidiot at 3:18 PM on December 11, 2002

metameme ..I am curious how you found this information?
posted by JohnR at 3:21 PM on December 11, 2002

Wow this looks really creditable...

"the Defendant [Bush] also informed Plaintiff [Schoedinger] that his only option to assure his never having to answer for the previous contact would be to simply see [the] Plaintiff pressures to the point of committing suicide."

So Bush, personally, told her "I am going to harass you till you kill yourself" ??

"Plaintiff's home is under surveillance in a manner that is fully recordable in all aspects and this surveillance is able to be loaded onto an internet page within minutes; including but no limited to prison Web site, military web sites and any internet locale that might cause [the] Plaintiff to be killed, raped, beaten, or put in harms way"

What?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:24 PM on December 11, 2002

I'm no fan of W and I'm a personal injury lawyer to boot, but there's no way that this is legit. This has all the style of a paranoid individual lost in her own delusions.

I get calls from people like this once in a while and the story sounds good for a couple of minutes and then comes the alien abductiion in the maze of tunnels under the CIA headquarters and I know it's time to gracefully exit the call. This is the same sort of stuff. She's a pro se plaintiff, so I assume that lawyers in Sugarland, Texas are as adept as I am at recognizing this sort of thing.
posted by mygoditsbob at 3:26 PM on December 11, 2002

I guess I'll have to be more careful where I surf on the web, God forbid I get killed, raped or beaten over the internet...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:27 PM on December 11, 2002

A friend sent it to me via email. I'm not trying to say the media is conservative or liberal but rather am curious as to whether or not the media will latch on to it with the same fervor that they did on Clinton's shenanigans or Mikey Jackon's daily weird outs.
It would seem that it's not "in" to criticize the shrub...er...commander in chief these days.
posted by metameme at 3:28 PM on December 11, 2002

A friend sent it to me via email. I'm not trying to say the media is conservative or liberal but rather am curious as to whether or not the media will latch on to it with the same fervor that they did on Clinton's shenanigans or Mikey Jackson's daily weird outs.
It would seem that it's not "in" to criticize the shrub...er...commander in chief these days.
posted by metameme at 3:29 PM on December 11, 2002

If anyone really wants to get to the bottom of this, Ms. Schoedinger's phone number is on her letterhead, the last page in the PDF file....

Someone in or near Bellaire, TX should give her a call and find out what is up.....
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:31 PM on December 11, 2002

"It would seem that it's not "in" to criticize the shrub...er...commander in chief these days."

Don't hang around the 'filter much these days, huh?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:33 PM on December 11, 2002

I love how, on page 5, just after she mentions that she is a "Christian writer", she changes her language to say "Plaintiff prays..." Oy.

I think the "Unofficial Document" watermark is a clue here...

It's also a Pleading, which I think anyone can file with the courts, right?

"nor did he stop having sex with Plaintiff." Kind of makes going to the grocery store a pain, huh?
posted by mkultra at 3:34 PM on December 11, 2002

It would seem that it's not "in" to criticize the shrub...er...commander in chief these days.

No, it's not "in" to publish deranged, paranoid rants as if they were news, regardless of whom they're about.

It's very "in" to criticize President Bush. Pick any news outlet of any medium on any day and you'll find no shortage of people condemning Bush for this or that.

(Oh, and by the way, calling him "Dubya" and "Shrub" doesn't get you any closer to the wit merit badge...just a helpful hint.)
posted by oissubke at 3:34 PM on December 11, 2002

Wow, it's unfathomable why this hasn't made it to the mainstream media. Must be that vast right wing conspiracy.
posted by singmesomething at 3:35 PM on December 11, 2002

And on a technical note, this isn't a subpeona, it's a complaint.
posted by singmesomething at 3:37 PM on December 11, 2002

Oy...This particular "case" appears to be the sad and lonely ramblings of an individual in need of some help. On its face there really should be no press.

Would this type of thing have been hammered on in the Clinton days? I'd say yes.

Is the press conservative or liberal? Neither it's corporate. Whatever will sell the most and offend the least will be published.
posted by aaronscool at 3:40 PM on December 11, 2002

oissubke: what about calling him Shrubya? or replacing all the S's with $'s? Surely this makes an argument more compelling.
posted by turbodog at 3:40 PM on December 11, 2002

It would seem that it's not "in" to criticize the shrub....

That's funny, I couldn't conceive of a behavior more fashionable these days than Bush-bashing, if my life depended on it.
posted by dhoyt at 3:41 PM on December 11, 2002

ohhh $hrubya... I like it!
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:42 PM on December 11, 2002

Anyone know what the significance of the "UNOFFICIAL" stamp is?

And for the record, I'm not out for a "wit merit" badge. I just find this interesting. Not a crime last time I checked.
posted by metameme at 3:42 PM on December 11, 2002

As a side note, the entire text of this FPP (including the Slick Willy reference and link) appears to have been ripped off wholesale from the HTML "version" it links. Bad form.
posted by tingley at 3:42 PM on December 11, 2002

And on a technical note, this isn't a subpeona, it's a complaint.

And on an even more technical note, it's not "subpeona"... :-)
posted by oissubke at 3:42 PM on December 11, 2002

Now we just need to work the Oil™ angle in there some how...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:43 PM on December 11, 2002

The "UNOFFICIAL" has to do with it being a printed PDF, and not an actual official court copy, I would guess.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:44 PM on December 11, 2002

Few people regard our L& L (linguistic and logic) challenged president with the degree of distaste that I do, but this sounds like a poorly written episode of X-Files.
I do think that if it were about the ultra slick one, it'd be running strong on Newsmax and screaming through neocon email exchanges by now, though. Give it a few hours, and miraculously, the claim will be that it was really the big Willy she was talking about afterall... Then it'll hit the big time.
posted by Tiger_Lily at 3:48 PM on December 11, 2002

As a side note, the entire text of this FPP (including the Slick Willy reference and link) appears to have been ripped off wholesale from the HTML "version" it links. Bad form.

?????
The HTML version is a JPEG/HTML version of the PDF.
If you mean the blog posting associated with that, they're using the same email source which in fact was forwarded to them by me.


Thanks for the "UNOFFICIAL" response. That does make sense.
posted by metameme at 3:54 PM on December 11, 2002

After batting this about for a while it seems obvious this is just a woman with mental problems and it has nothing to do with Bush. I can't imagine the mainstream media would pick this up no matter who it was about. I'm pretty sure even the Enquirer would take a pass on something this silly.

However.......

People don't use the name "Shrub" for Bush because they want to appear clever or witty. Smugly assume whatever you want. But the fact is that people who use this term do so out of a total contempt for George W and his ability to effectively carry out the duties of the presidency.

We're not being witty, we hate him. We think his ideas for running the country, conducting foreign policy, and representing America are fully wrong and misguided. Calling him "Shrub" is not clever, it's obvious. There is no giggle fit taking place when someone calls him this. We hate him and we hunger for the chance to vote him out of office.

Shrub. It's a term of derision. And quite frankly I think it sums up the image he evokes for most people rather nicely. A healthy percentage of people in this country think he's a shrub, and most people overseas think he's a shrub.
posted by y6y6y6 at 4:07 PM on December 11, 2002

Of course any average person realizes that even this is outside the powers of the president. Just because you're the most powerful man in the world doesn't mean you can make anyone do what you want. This is the real world. Not Hollywood. If it were, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky would never have been mentioned in the same sentence. Why didn't Bill just kill off everyone who might have leaked the scandal that caused his impeachment? Exactly. Now apply that to Bush.
posted by MrAnonymous at 4:10 PM on December 11, 2002

that thing y6y6y6 said?
i liked that a LOT.
posted by dolface at 4:18 PM on December 11, 2002

The "Shrub" calling has gotten trite to the point of self-mockery, but at least it's *slightly* less pathetic than "Ann Poultry".

*wanking motion*
posted by jammer at 4:20 PM on December 11, 2002

besides, everybody who's anybody knows that when it comes to sexual satisfaction, the president prefers longhorns.
posted by quonsar at 4:30 PM on December 11, 2002

Doesn't everyone?
posted by jammer at 4:36 PM on December 11, 2002

Now we just need to work the Oil™ angle in there some how...

Nah. See, the "angle" we need to work is for a certain group to spend millions of dollars years "investigating" this kind of bullshit to see if somehow, some way, they can discredit or maybe even force someone from office. You know...using our tax dollars.

Maybe you know some nice folks who have considerable experience doing that sort of thing?

Or here's another "angle": maybe you could direct us to someone dishonest and partisan enough to really tar those who note that Bush/Cheney are friendly to the oil industry. You now, tar them with a really broad brush. You know, maybe along the lines of "just look what those Bush bashers are doing now....first they complain about his Oil™ ties, now this wacky legal complaint...they're all the same."

Maybe you know someone with that kind of experience.

(Oh, and by the way, calling him "Dubya" and "Shrub" doesn't get you any closer to the wit merit badge...just a helpful hint.)
posted by oissubke at 3:34 PM PST on December 11
oissubke: what about calling him Shrubya? or replacing all the S's with $'s? Surely this makes an argument more compelling.
posted by turbodog at 3:40 PM PST on December 11
ohhh $hrubya... I like it!
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:42 PM PST on December 11

How very, very, very odd that you nice folks would raise your voices, FreeRepublic-panty-wadded-style, and howl about nicknames like "Shrub" and "Dubya".... but raise not a single yip about the use of "Slick Willie"....also mentioned in the post and comments above.

Blatant partisan ideology you try to dress up as a lesson in "wit" is bringing you so much closer to the coveted "Hypocrisy" merit badge...just a helpful hint.... although a few of you could qualify for oak leaf clusters for that particular badge.
posted by fold_and_mutilate at 4:45 PM on December 11, 2002

Score: fold_and_mutilate!
posted by rushmc at 4:51 PM on December 11, 2002

"Plaintiff's home is under surveillance in a manner that is fully recordable in all aspects and this surveillance is able to be loaded onto an internet page within minutes; including but no limited to prison Web site, military web sites and any internet locale that might cause [the] Plaintiff to be killed, raped, beaten, or put in harms way"

Sounds a lot like paranoid schizophrenia to me.
Paranoia of the government, delusions of self-importance . . .
posted by cinderful at 4:52 PM on December 11, 2002

Shrub. It's a term of derision. And quite frankly I think it sums up the image he evokes for most people rather nicely. A healthy percentage of people in this country think he's a shrub, and most people overseas think he's a shrub.

please, enlighten us with the 'healthy percentage of people' who think he's a shrub with honest stats. otherwise, i see the term 'shrub' as just another form of derision created by those of the opposing side, the same way 'slick willie' became so popular on the right.

'shrub' and 'dubya' have become so prevalent on the left that i liken these terms to 'not' and 'pancakes'.
posted by poopy at 5:03 PM on December 11, 2002

Isn't dubya his own nickname? I thought they liked that one.
posted by aaronscool at 5:07 PM on December 11, 2002

Bush named his own oil company 'Arbusto' for goodness sakes. That means 'shrub', in Spanish. The dullard is in on the joke, folks. Spare us the righteous indignation.

More, thanks to troutfishing, here.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:17 PM on December 11, 2002

Bush named his own oil company 'Arbusto' for goodness sakes. That means 'shrub', in Spanish. The dullard is in on the joke, folks. Spare us the righteous indignation.

still doesn't refute the fact that people here use the term to belittle the reputation and name, supposedly supporting arguments against him. besides, i'm just sick of hearing it, it's overstayed it's welcome ... the least you could do is come up with something else.

And from your link to troutfishing:

Trace the history of George W's ascendance to power; it's hard to ignore the fact that he rode to power on his father's coattails, rather than on his innate ability. So why not "shrub" ?

we all know what we think of when we hear it, regardless of it's history, why use it delibertately in an argument?. the purpose of it's use is to strenghten your position. Both sides rely on this sort of baseless attack and it does nothing for debate except enrage those on the other side. what's the point?
posted by poopy at 5:37 PM on December 11, 2002

Does anyone know for sure who first called him shrub in public though? Various sources on the web claim Ann Richards, others claim Molly Ivins.

And on preview:

...it does nothing for debate except enrage those on the other side. what's the point?

umm, you may have answered your own question.
posted by pitchblende at 5:48 PM on December 11, 2002

Christ; it's not an attack, or an argument, or an attempt to "belittle the reputation and name". It's just a fucking nickname. Like Ike, or JFK, or The Gipper, or Tricky Dick, or The Little Magician, or Tippecanoe, or Uncle Jumbo, or Bubba, or Old Hickory. Presidents get nicknames. It happens with every president. I am absolutely befuddled as to why the nickname "Shrub" seems to so upset some people. Grow a thicker skin.
posted by mr_roboto at 5:55 PM on December 11, 2002

if y'all out there in right wing land want us to stop saying "Shrub", just start using it yourself as a term of empowerment. Then we'll be forced to come up with another nickname. We'd use "Shithead", but it's already the name of Navin R. Johnson's dog.
posted by condour75 at 6:02 PM on December 11, 2002

Shrub. It's a term of derision.

What I don't get about the fights this causes is that "Shrub" and "Dubya" are pretty innocuous nickname-wise. I mean, they're nowhere near "Slick Willie" or even "Tricky Dick" in terms of bile content. They're just...slightly diminutive. It's as if in the 90's Republicans enraged Democrats by the casual use of the sobriquet "Clinty."

(on preview, what mr_roboto said.)
posted by furiousthought at 6:03 PM on December 11, 2002

How very, very, very odd that you would raise your voice, DemocraticUnderground-self-righteous-clueless-style, and howl about something so stupid.

f&m, I could care less what you call George Bush. With the results of Nov, you can call him Shrub all the live long day.

I have never called Clinton "Slick Willie", and I HATE the Clintons. Ask y2karl if you don't belive me.....

Furthermore, only you, f&m, could equate this baseless court filing with the shady land-deals, illegal campaign contributions, and the televised lies to the American public of the Clinton White House.

But you know what, I am not going to run through that with you. Go ahead, dig dirt. Is this the best you can find?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 6:29 PM on December 11, 2002