ROBUST
September 30, 2006 2:19 PM Subscribe
or ROBUSTNESS Is it military, political or computer terminology. Seems to be everywhere. Used to be simply a robust cup of coffee. But Starbucks preempted that.
This post was deleted for the following reason: if you are going to be subtle, you need to be clearer.
Something here seems to be amiss. What exactly was the original intent here before Loki intervened?
posted by Stunt at 2:21 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by Stunt at 2:21 PM on September 30, 2006
well every other article seems to include the word ROBUST somewhere. In Lebanon the Israelis wanted a 'robust' UN force.
Then I found another link http://catb.org/jargon/html/R/robust.html but I like the computer relationship here.
posted by hard rain at 2:24 PM on September 30, 2006
Then I found another link http://catb.org/jargon/html/R/robust.html but I like the computer relationship here.
posted by hard rain at 2:24 PM on September 30, 2006
Did you mean for your post to make no sense on the front of the blue, and to link to a Wiki page that isn't there?
posted by Dipsomaniac at 2:25 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by Dipsomaniac at 2:25 PM on September 30, 2006
... Carries the additional connotation of elegance in addition to just careful attention to detail.
hard rain, please study this definition. Your post is not very robust.
posted by oneirodynia at 2:36 PM on September 30, 2006
hard rain, please study this definition. Your post is not very robust.
posted by oneirodynia at 2:36 PM on September 30, 2006
... and that ungrammatical definition is also lacking in robustness.
posted by oneirodynia at 2:38 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by oneirodynia at 2:38 PM on September 30, 2006
when matt deletes this, he will do it with his robust delete key
posted by pyramid termite at 2:38 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by pyramid termite at 2:38 PM on September 30, 2006
The lesson here? Don't start a post with "or" and you should be fine.
A++++ POST CONGRATULATION YOU WIN $$
posted by Baby_Balrog at 2:41 PM on September 30, 2006
A++++ POST CONGRATULATION YOU WIN $$
posted by Baby_Balrog at 2:41 PM on September 30, 2006
wait... is that a portobello?
posted by riotgrrl69 at 2:43 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by riotgrrl69 at 2:43 PM on September 30, 2006
i have everything i have from the sears robust catalog
posted by pyramid termite at 2:44 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by pyramid termite at 2:44 PM on September 30, 2006
no, it's a bellowing porter ...
posted by pyramid termite at 2:44 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by pyramid termite at 2:44 PM on September 30, 2006
hello I'm selling these fine leather jackets
posted by riotgrrl69 at 2:46 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by riotgrrl69 at 2:46 PM on September 30, 2006
i'm selling leather toilet seats ... robust ones
posted by pyramid termite at 2:47 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by pyramid termite at 2:47 PM on September 30, 2006
oh man i hope this becomes one of those huge animated gif threads -- tears from my eyes!
(does anyone have a link to that first real big one, about five months ago or so?)
posted by undule at 2:52 PM on September 30, 2006
(does anyone have a link to that first real big one, about five months ago or so?)
posted by undule at 2:52 PM on September 30, 2006
Clearly we need to fix the wikipedia entry.
posted by srboisvert at 2:55 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by srboisvert at 2:55 PM on September 30, 2006
Robust or Robustness
There you go buddy, I think this is what you were trying for.
That said, I have no idea what point you were trying to make.
posted by quin at 2:56 PM on September 30, 2006
There you go buddy, I think this is what you were trying for.
That said, I have no idea what point you were trying to make.
posted by quin at 2:56 PM on September 30, 2006
Help me out here. 9622 was the motherlode of course. But I understand that a group of crack individuals would invade posts of certain numbers, with certain intervals, and fill them with joy. Where are these posts? What are the rules? Thank you.
posted by riotgrrl69 at 2:59 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by riotgrrl69 at 2:59 PM on September 30, 2006
Ah yes! Thanks Lekvar -- for some reason I love that thread -- makes me laugh everytime.
posted by undule at 3:00 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by undule at 3:00 PM on September 30, 2006
I'm not sure what's worse: the botched the links in a crappy post, or -had the links worked- the crappy links.
Best of the web!
posted by yeti at 3:01 PM on September 30, 2006
Best of the web!
posted by yeti at 3:01 PM on September 30, 2006
I went to Blockbuster once and saw the Christian Slater flick Hard Rain on one of those "Guaranteed to be in stock or it's free" walls. There weren't any copies there, so I went to the desk to ask for my free rental coupon. The next time I came in, damned if I didn't rent that movie, and it sucked. But I wasn't expecting anything: I didn't want to see the thing anyway, and I only rented it because it was free, even though it took me two trips to the video store to get it. There's a lesson here somewhere, but I'm not sure what it is.
posted by black bile at 3:03 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by black bile at 3:03 PM on September 30, 2006
monju_bosatsu, that picture cracks me up. I remember seeing that on the front page of the newspaper when it ran. What's the source? It's a broken bat right?
posted by yeti at 3:04 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by yeti at 3:04 PM on September 30, 2006
Oh, and Hard Rain, the military determines the 'robustness' of their computers with a TEMPEST rating. This thread is crashing and burning, but I figured that if you ever try again, this might be useful information.
posted by quin at 3:05 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by quin at 3:05 PM on September 30, 2006
There are many words in the English language. Perhaps we should have FPPs about all of them.
Please refrain from giving eric s. ramond any more page views in the future.
posted by delmoi at 3:08 PM on September 30, 2006
Please refrain from giving eric s. ramond any more page views in the future.
posted by delmoi at 3:08 PM on September 30, 2006
Hey now, black bile. Hard Rain had Minnie Driver. Ok it wasn't a great movie, but the scientists and experts have weighed in on the subject, and all agree: adding Minnie Driver to any movie makes it less bad.
Fact. You can look it up.
posted by quin at 3:10 PM on September 30, 2006
Fact. You can look it up.
posted by quin at 3:10 PM on September 30, 2006
"They said it is a very unique smell. As they pulled the hatch open on the Soyuz side, I smelled “SPACE.” It was strange… kind of like burned almond cookie."
posted by pyramid termite at 3:12 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by pyramid termite at 3:12 PM on September 30, 2006
This post sucks ass. Step away from the post button.
posted by Rhomboid at 3:15 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by Rhomboid at 3:15 PM on September 30, 2006
Thank you all of you for a Saturday laugh. That cat with the TNT is my favorite. Off now to go read the 'in your base killin' your doodz' thread again.
posted by ao4047 at 3:19 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by ao4047 at 3:19 PM on September 30, 2006
riotgrrl69, i think that may be my new favorite picture :)
posted by quin at 3:22 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by quin at 3:22 PM on September 30, 2006
/images/O'Reilly's,%20Door.jpg)
Well, I'm not much at finding bizzarro images, but I know a robust pig-pile when I see one, and far be it from me to miss out on the rapture...
posted by DesbaratsDays at 3:32 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by DesbaratsDays at 3:32 PM on September 30, 2006
You are all so immature.
posted by thirteenkiller at 3:33 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by thirteenkiller at 3:33 PM on September 30, 2006
Rhomboid's spoiler gif has spoilers! Rhomboid is bad!
posted by riotgrrl69 at 3:42 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by riotgrrl69 at 3:42 PM on September 30, 2006
I know this isn't the time or place for this, but pyramid termite, is this for real? If so, I love the intarnets.
posted by DesbaratsDays at 3:42 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by DesbaratsDays at 3:42 PM on September 30, 2006
yeah, it's real ... it's on yahoo's front page right now
posted by pyramid termite at 3:45 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by pyramid termite at 3:45 PM on September 30, 2006
WARNING SPOILER ALERT!! DO NOT LOOK BELOW THIS LINE WILL ROBINSON, DANGER, SPOILERS, DANGER!!!
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posted by pyramid termite at 3:48 PM on September 30, 2006
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posted by pyramid termite at 3:48 PM on September 30, 2006
This post delete for the following reason: the jpegs hurt my brain.
posted by lalochezia at 3:49 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by lalochezia at 3:49 PM on September 30, 2006
Hey guys! What's going on?
posted by Extopalopaketle at 3:54 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by Extopalopaketle at 3:54 PM on September 30, 2006
oh.
WARNING:
This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
WARNING:
This product attracts every other piece of matter in the Universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
CAUTION:
The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
HEALTH WARNING:
Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
ADVISORY:
There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process known as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE:
The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied.
CONSUMER NOTICE:
Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
NOTE:
The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power cannot therefore be permanently guaranteed.
ATTENTION:
Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this produce consists of 99.999999999999% empty space.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE:
This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles her hour.
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE:
According to certain suggested versions of a grand unified theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW:
Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe.
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER:
The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten-dimensional^ legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are "rolled up" into such a small area that they cannot be detected.
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS:
The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
PLEASE NOTE:
Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT:
In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; you may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; article is provided "as is" without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity article; no shoes, no shirt, no service; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental discression advised, text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable; keep away from sunlight; keep away from OJ; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this article could be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a physician; articles are ribbed for your pleasure; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 3:58 PM on September 30, 2006 [3 favorites]
WARNING:
This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
WARNING:
This product attracts every other piece of matter in the Universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
CAUTION:
The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
HEALTH WARNING:
Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
ADVISORY:
There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process known as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE:
The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied.
CONSUMER NOTICE:
Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
NOTE:
The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power cannot therefore be permanently guaranteed.
ATTENTION:
Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this produce consists of 99.999999999999% empty space.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE:
This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles her hour.
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE:
According to certain suggested versions of a grand unified theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW:
Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe.
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER:
The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten-dimensional^ legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are "rolled up" into such a small area that they cannot be detected.
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS:
The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
PLEASE NOTE:
Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT:
In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; you may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; article is provided "as is" without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity article; no shoes, no shirt, no service; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental discression advised, text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable; keep away from sunlight; keep away from OJ; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this article could be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a physician; articles are ribbed for your pleasure; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 3:58 PM on September 30, 2006 [3 favorites]
Ooof! That hilary picture is eating my face -- RiotGrrrl you are a machine!
posted by undule at 4:00 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by undule at 4:00 PM on September 30, 2006
I love you all.
posted by arcticwoman at 4:00 PM on September 30, 2006
posted by arcticwoman at 4:00 PM on September 30, 2006
"You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselfs in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
the only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you."
posted by pyramid termite at 4:04 PM on September 30, 2006 [1 favorite]
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselfs in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
the only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you."
posted by pyramid termite at 4:04 PM on September 30, 2006 [1 favorite]
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posted by monju_bosatsu at 2:20 PM on September 30, 2006