He turns to me and says "That’s the Spice Girls - they’re this like, girly f*ckin’ band from England in Scotlandshire."
December 15, 2007 11:03 AM Subscribe
James Caan asks and then answers the question: "You know what I like to do at Christmas time?" (NSFW: Language)
This post was deleted for the following reason: NSFW: Lame. Sorry Astro Zombie. -- jessamyn
it's going to be a blue balled chrismas without you ...
posted by pyramid termite at 11:16 AM on December 15, 2007
posted by pyramid termite at 11:16 AM on December 15, 2007
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
posted by mrzarquon at 11:19 AM on December 15, 2007
posted by mrzarquon at 11:19 AM on December 15, 2007
CAAAAAAAANNNN!
posted by porn in the woods at 11:19 AM on December 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by porn in the woods at 11:19 AM on December 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
jinx
posted by porn in the woods at 11:19 AM on December 15, 2007
posted by porn in the woods at 11:19 AM on December 15, 2007
Annie Wilkes: It's the swearing, Paul. It has no nobility.
Paul Sheldon: These are slum kids, I was a slum kid. Everybody talks like that.
Annie Wilkes: THEY DO NOT! At the feedstore do I say, "Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in' pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn"? At the bank do I say, "Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!" THERE, LOOK THERE, NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:45 AM on December 15, 2007
Paul Sheldon: These are slum kids, I was a slum kid. Everybody talks like that.
Annie Wilkes: THEY DO NOT! At the feedstore do I say, "Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in' pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn"? At the bank do I say, "Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!" THERE, LOOK THERE, NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:45 AM on December 15, 2007
Someone please tell me this is real.
posted by secret about box at 12:01 PM on December 15, 2007
posted by secret about box at 12:01 PM on December 15, 2007
I know it isn't, but I really want it to be.
posted by secret about box at 12:02 PM on December 15, 2007
posted by secret about box at 12:02 PM on December 15, 2007
It would be funnier if it were.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:04 PM on December 15, 2007
posted by From Bklyn at 12:04 PM on December 15, 2007
It's actually not particularly funny, and it would be even less so if it were real. Unsatisfactory post.
posted by languagehat at 12:19 PM on December 15, 2007
posted by languagehat at 12:19 PM on December 15, 2007
hey...what a role-model...what a dad he would have been for me...
posted by nicolin at 12:33 PM on December 15, 2007
posted by nicolin at 12:33 PM on December 15, 2007
Hey, have you guys ever seen a website called The Onion? There is some funny shit there. I will make a post about it.
posted by LarryC at 12:38 PM on December 15, 2007
posted by LarryC at 12:38 PM on December 15, 2007
I know this crap is not real...but my mind is now polluted with this image of Caan being nothing more than a man whore...so to the poster....thanks...hope someone does the same for you down the road.
posted by malter51 at 12:52 PM on December 15, 2007
posted by malter51 at 12:52 PM on December 15, 2007
I know this crap is not real...but my mind is now polluted with this image of Caan being nothing more than a man whore...
Oh jeez.
Anyway, I thought it was funny. The Frank-Sinatra-mafia thing at the end was kinda tired, but it made me laugh up to that point. Plus, maybe it'll start a big thread about sexism in MetaTalk; I hear those are great.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:13 PM on December 15, 2007
Oh jeez.
Anyway, I thought it was funny. The Frank-Sinatra-mafia thing at the end was kinda tired, but it made me laugh up to that point. Plus, maybe it'll start a big thread about sexism in MetaTalk; I hear those are great.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:13 PM on December 15, 2007
It's actually not particularly funny, and it would be even less so if it were real. Unsatisfactory post.
Languagehat, I want you to write this down:
Different people find different things funny.
I see things every day on Metafilter that leave me cold, that I don't care about, that I find unfunny, etc, etc, and you know what I do? I don't comment and I move on. By avoiding bitching about every post that falls outside of my (admittedly narrow) range of interest, I've saved a bunch of time, allowing me to take up hobbies like origami and needlework.
Keep in touch!
posted by beaucoupkevin at 1:24 PM on December 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
Languagehat, I want you to write this down:
Different people find different things funny.
I see things every day on Metafilter that leave me cold, that I don't care about, that I find unfunny, etc, etc, and you know what I do? I don't comment and I move on. By avoiding bitching about every post that falls outside of my (admittedly narrow) range of interest, I've saved a bunch of time, allowing me to take up hobbies like origami and needlework.
Keep in touch!
posted by beaucoupkevin at 1:24 PM on December 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
I've met James Caan. And spoken with him on the phone. I worked at a video store in Westwood.
Before I ever met James Caan, I had read about him making Misery. I was talking about it with one of my coworkers when a woman with a boy came in.
Your talking about Misery? she asked.
Yep. It hadn't opened yet.
What have you heard? she asked.
I heard it's great, but I heard Rob Riener found James Caan to be such a pain in the ass that he'll never work with him again?
Oh really, she said, surprised. I'm James Caan's wife, and this is his son, and I didn't hear any of that.
I was sure the first time I met James Caan he would punch me in the face for that. But he seems a little gruff in real life, but not menacing. I think he's honestly more of a weirdo than a tough guy.
One day Elliot Gould came in, looking like a hobo.
Jimmy Caan says he has an account here, Gould said.
He does, I said.
Can I rent on it? He asked.
I'll call and find out, I said.
So I called James Caan.
This is James Caan, he said. Who is this?
I'm from the video store, I said. Elliot Gould wants to a rent a video on your account.
Elliot Gould wants to what? he said.
He wants to -- I answered.
Oh, yeah, fuck it, let him, Caan said.
He seemed a little nearsighted and a little deaf. When James Caan would rent, he'd inevitably bring the video up to the desk, squinting at it, and then toss it down, and say: What's this about?
Star Wars? I'd ask?
What? He'd say.
Star Wars?
Oh yeah, I know Star Wars.
I have a memory, but I'm not sure if it's real. I remember Caan bringing up Rollerball, squinting at it, and tossing it down on the counter.
What's this about?
Rollerball?
What?
Rollerball?
Rollerball? What the fuck? That's one of my movies!
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:27 PM on December 15, 2007 [15 favorites]
Before I ever met James Caan, I had read about him making Misery. I was talking about it with one of my coworkers when a woman with a boy came in.
Your talking about Misery? she asked.
Yep. It hadn't opened yet.
What have you heard? she asked.
I heard it's great, but I heard Rob Riener found James Caan to be such a pain in the ass that he'll never work with him again?
Oh really, she said, surprised. I'm James Caan's wife, and this is his son, and I didn't hear any of that.
I was sure the first time I met James Caan he would punch me in the face for that. But he seems a little gruff in real life, but not menacing. I think he's honestly more of a weirdo than a tough guy.
One day Elliot Gould came in, looking like a hobo.
Jimmy Caan says he has an account here, Gould said.
He does, I said.
Can I rent on it? He asked.
I'll call and find out, I said.
So I called James Caan.
This is James Caan, he said. Who is this?
I'm from the video store, I said. Elliot Gould wants to a rent a video on your account.
Elliot Gould wants to what? he said.
He wants to -- I answered.
Oh, yeah, fuck it, let him, Caan said.
He seemed a little nearsighted and a little deaf. When James Caan would rent, he'd inevitably bring the video up to the desk, squinting at it, and then toss it down, and say: What's this about?
Star Wars? I'd ask?
What? He'd say.
Star Wars?
Oh yeah, I know Star Wars.
I have a memory, but I'm not sure if it's real. I remember Caan bringing up Rollerball, squinting at it, and tossing it down on the counter.
What's this about?
Rollerball?
What?
Rollerball?
Rollerball? What the fuck? That's one of my movies!
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:27 PM on December 15, 2007 [15 favorites]
I think Astro's story was better than the post. And I'm not hating on the post.
posted by Edgewise at 1:32 PM on December 15, 2007
posted by Edgewise at 1:32 PM on December 15, 2007
All true.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:33 PM on December 15, 2007
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:33 PM on December 15, 2007
I think Astro's story was better than the post. And I'm not hating on the post.
So do I. And I made the post.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 1:34 PM on December 15, 2007
So do I. And I made the post.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 1:34 PM on December 15, 2007
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