"the rest of the world diverges from your standard of normality"
January 12, 2008 12:57 AM Subscribe
"Now Daddy is with Joe McCarthy and Ronald Reagan. I hope they stop laughing about the Reds long enough to talk to God about smiting some liberals for me." RIP John Vincent Coulter, Red-hunting FBI agent and patriotic "union-buster", as memorialized by his daughter Ann.
This post was deleted for the following reason: This seems like a pretty bad idea. -- cortex
Who gives a fuck?
posted by limon at 1:07 AM on January 12, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by limon at 1:07 AM on January 12, 2008 [4 favorites]
One day, a group of FBI agents saw the beautiful Nell Husbands Martin at lunch with her mother. They asked the waitress for her name and flipped a coin to see who could ask her out first. Father lost the coin toss, so he paid off the other agents. And that's how Nell became my mother.
This explains nothing and everything.
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:14 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
This explains nothing and everything.
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:14 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
Daddy's in Hell, then?
posted by trondant at 1:37 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by trondant at 1:37 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
ha ha ha!
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 1:39 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 1:39 AM on January 12, 2008
What a bizarre, cartoonish personality she projects. McCarthy‽
posted by mumkin at 1:50 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by mumkin at 1:50 AM on January 12, 2008
Even in her father's eulogy she finds time to be a liberal-bashing harpy. This woman astounds me.
posted by TypographicalError at 1:52 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by TypographicalError at 1:52 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
John Vincent Coulter was of the old school, a man of few words, the un-Oprah, no crying or wearing your heart on your sleeve, and reacting to moments of great sentiment with a joke. Or as we used to call them: men.
Oh god, that just about killed me...
posted by hadjiboy at 1:55 AM on January 12, 2008
Oh god, that just about killed me...
posted by hadjiboy at 1:55 AM on January 12, 2008
Even in her father's eulogy she finds time to be a liberal-bashing harpy. This woman astounds me.
HAHAHA indeed.
But all makes sense now, I had no idea she came from an esteemed family of narrow minded louts.
You know, for staunch traditionalist such as herself, its hard to believe shes not married! What man could say no to her! and that face!
She very well could be the only woman more unappealing to men than hygienically challenged dungeons and dragons nerds who wear armor in public are to women.
posted by hellslinger at 2:04 AM on January 12, 2008
HAHAHA indeed.
But all makes sense now, I had no idea she came from an esteemed family of narrow minded louts.
You know, for staunch traditionalist such as herself, its hard to believe shes not married! What man could say no to her! and that face!
She very well could be the only woman more unappealing to men than hygienically challenged dungeons and dragons nerds who wear armor in public are to women.
posted by hellslinger at 2:04 AM on January 12, 2008
Good fucking riddance.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:09 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:09 AM on January 12, 2008
Please stop paying attention to her.
posted by Jairus at 2:24 AM on January 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Jairus at 2:24 AM on January 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
John Vincent Coulter: Hi God. Now that I'm here, I don't think my daughter would forgive me if I didn't ask you to smite some liberals. Heh heh.
God: Yeah, uh... it's interesting you said that John. I know you were joking and all, but she actually hopes you would do that. For reals. She said so in her eulogy for you.
John Vincent Coulter: Really?
God: Yep.
John Vincent Coulter: ... ... Fuck, I hate that bitch.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:39 AM on January 12, 2008 [3 favorites]
God: Yeah, uh... it's interesting you said that John. I know you were joking and all, but she actually hopes you would do that. For reals. She said so in her eulogy for you.
John Vincent Coulter: Really?
God: Yep.
John Vincent Coulter: ... ... Fuck, I hate that bitch.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:39 AM on January 12, 2008 [3 favorites]
Cut off the head, bury the body at a crossroads --
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was the Ann Coulter's dad obit thread.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 2:45 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was the Ann Coulter's dad obit thread.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 2:45 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
Poor guy. Can you imagine having Ann Coulter as your own daughter?
Rest in Peace.
posted by Auden at 2:45 AM on January 12, 2008
Rest in Peace.
posted by Auden at 2:45 AM on January 12, 2008
This will not Ann well.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 2:52 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by Slithy_Tove at 2:52 AM on January 12, 2008
"Now Daddy is with Joe McCarthy and Ronald Reagan.
Most hagiographies don't imply that the subject is in hell.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:11 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
Most hagiographies don't imply that the subject is in hell.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:11 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
Can we now declare every January 4th to be the official annual 'Fuck John Vincent Coulter And His Moron Daughter Day'?
We could wear hats and set up a website and everything.
posted by tapeguy at 3:18 AM on January 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
We could wear hats and set up a website and everything.
posted by tapeguy at 3:18 AM on January 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
I'm pretty sleepy so I didn't get the "Coulter" part till about a page in. Gah. 1) Why do we keep paying attention to her and 2) reading her words makes my spidey sense get all tingly.
posted by cavalier at 3:27 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by cavalier at 3:27 AM on January 12, 2008
One would hold out hope that even she would learn just a little humanity from the passing of someone close, but there you go.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:30 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:30 AM on January 12, 2008
Somebody has daddy issues.
posted by chillmost at 3:32 AM on January 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by chillmost at 3:32 AM on January 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
cavalier writes "Why do we keep paying attention to her"
Because some love to hate her, while she's clearly looking for more attention, more sales eheh while distracting from issues such as : what is the X party doing for me right now ? Why is Y so fucking wrong ? Why isn't media telling uncomfortable truths anymore, but only depressing tirades ?
And people love fart jokes ! Did I mention niga'h smells ?
posted by elpapacito at 3:33 AM on January 12, 2008
Because some love to hate her, while she's clearly looking for more attention, more sales eheh while distracting from issues such as : what is the X party doing for me right now ? Why is Y so fucking wrong ? Why isn't media telling uncomfortable truths anymore, but only depressing tirades ?
And people love fart jokes ! Did I mention niga'h smells ?
posted by elpapacito at 3:33 AM on January 12, 2008
John Vincent Coulter was of the old school, a man of few words, the un-Oprah, no crying or wearing your heart on your sleeve, and reacting to moments of great sentiment with a joke. Or as we used to call them: men.
I have it on very good authority that Ann's father is currently participating in a celestial daisy chain with those men's men of the era, J. Edgar Hoover and Roy Cohn.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:39 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
I have it on very good authority that Ann's father is currently participating in a celestial daisy chain with those men's men of the era, J. Edgar Hoover and Roy Cohn.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:39 AM on January 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
If only there was a hell so she could go to it. For any liberals still reading, that would constitute a true happy ending.
posted by imperium at 3:53 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by imperium at 3:53 AM on January 12, 2008
Look, you guys, Ann Coulter's not a bitch! You demean Britney Spears. Ann Coulter is a frackin'cylon.
posted by DenOfSizer at 4:02 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by DenOfSizer at 4:02 AM on January 12, 2008
God smiting anyone on your behalf is a weird idea to have.
posted by m0nm0n at 4:06 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by m0nm0n at 4:06 AM on January 12, 2008
If only there was a hell so she could go to it. For any liberals still reading, that would constitute a true happy ending.
I like to think she lives in it every single day of her twisted and miserable life.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:33 AM on January 12, 2008
I like to think she lives in it every single day of her twisted and miserable life.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:33 AM on January 12, 2008
ortho, I wish you had not posted this.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:39 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:39 AM on January 12, 2008
You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?
posted by outlier at 4:59 AM on January 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by outlier at 4:59 AM on January 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
Every night when I go to bed,
I fantasize about getting head,
from a talking head.
She'd lie to the right of me,
Very far to the right of me.
She'd go to sleep and then shut up.
posted by iamck at 5:32 AM on January 12, 2008
I fantasize about getting head,
from a talking head.
She'd lie to the right of me,
Very far to the right of me.
She'd go to sleep and then shut up.
posted by iamck at 5:32 AM on January 12, 2008
Not gonna speak ill of the dead but as long as we're piling on AC, there's this little gem, and this.
posted by fuse theorem at 5:59 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by fuse theorem at 5:59 AM on January 12, 2008
Obit-filter is barely tolerable, but mock-obit filter I could do without. Plus the link seems to be broken now.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:02 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by Wolfdog at 6:02 AM on January 12, 2008
Fascinating to read the comments on that page.
Does these people ever not have the wagons circled?
posted by the sobsister at 6:02 AM on January 12, 2008
Does these people ever not have the wagons circled?
posted by the sobsister at 6:02 AM on January 12, 2008
Oh my. I can't believe no one's posted this little gem of Rude goodness.
posted by notsnot at 6:02 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by notsnot at 6:02 AM on January 12, 2008
Not gonna speak ill of the dead
She spends half the thing wiping her dead dad's dead dick in her political opponents' hair. It's all fair game.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:05 AM on January 12, 2008
She spends half the thing wiping her dead dad's dead dick in her political opponents' hair. It's all fair game.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:05 AM on January 12, 2008
visit the rude pundit for a great rant on this.
posted by kitchenrat at 6:16 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by kitchenrat at 6:16 AM on January 12, 2008
And I thought she was sired by Satan
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:36 AM on January 12, 2008
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:36 AM on January 12, 2008
ortho, I wish you had not posted this.
Same here.
posted by languagehat at 6:49 AM on January 12, 2008
Same here.
posted by languagehat at 6:49 AM on January 12, 2008
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posted by athenian at 1:05 AM on January 12, 2008