You're doing it wrong.
April 30, 2008 2:06 PM Subscribe
This post was deleted for the following reason: oh come on. -- jessamyn
The obligatory teenage-dirtbag mustache cracks me up every time. Repeating a comment I saw elsewhere: "If you're the sort of person that believes in Jesus, how could you possibly believe yourself capable of killing him?"
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 2:10 PM on April 30, 2008
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 2:10 PM on April 30, 2008
Federal authorities said a South Carolina teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, according to federal authorities.
But you... you can't--if you... errr... I'll start again.
Federal authorities said a South Carolina teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, according to federal authorities.
Okay Ryan, try to understand. Heaven is a place DEAD people go. Meaning, THEY ARE ALREADY DEAD. You can't kill someone who's ALREADY DEAD. IT DOESN'T WORK.
And Zombie Jesus is something rednecks tell their kids about so they'll do their chores.
posted by Dr-Baa at 2:16 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
But you... you can't--if you... errr... I'll start again.
Federal authorities said a South Carolina teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, according to federal authorities.
Okay Ryan, try to understand. Heaven is a place DEAD people go. Meaning, THEY ARE ALREADY DEAD. You can't kill someone who's ALREADY DEAD. IT DOESN'T WORK.
And Zombie Jesus is something rednecks tell their kids about so they'll do their chores.
posted by Dr-Baa at 2:16 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
Repeating a comment I saw elsewhere: "If you're the sort of person that believes in Jesus, how could you possibly believe yourself capable of killing him?"
To be fair, Jesus didn't put up much of a fight the last time we decided to kill him.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 2:19 PM on April 30, 2008 [10 favorites]
To be fair, Jesus didn't put up much of a fight the last time we decided to kill him.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 2:19 PM on April 30, 2008 [10 favorites]
WYFF-4! Yay! My local station gets to report on... oh.
A South Carolinian doing something spectacularly stupid.
*sigh*
South Carolina: We're not all idiots.
posted by JDHarper at 2:22 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
A South Carolinian doing something spectacularly stupid.
*sigh*
South Carolina: We're not all idiots.
posted by JDHarper at 2:22 PM on April 30, 2008 [1 favorite]
It's not news, it's...
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 2:22 PM on April 30, 2008
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 2:22 PM on April 30, 2008
Ha! An 18 year old kid from an area so poor that you would think it is in the third world has some kind of undiagnosed mental illness, tries to kill a lot of people as a result, but will instead spend the rest of his life in jail. That is fucking funny!
posted by ND¢ at 2:23 PM on April 30, 2008 [6 favorites]
posted by ND¢ at 2:23 PM on April 30, 2008 [6 favorites]
I'm guessing it ain't easy to grow up in South Carolina. That the boy is not right in the head seems clear, but I would also gladly put an end to Jesus, God and all the saints if I could. I guess I'm crazy too, but I can dream can't I?
posted by nola at 2:25 PM on April 30, 2008
posted by nola at 2:25 PM on April 30, 2008
Man, this is why you FARKers don't get it. All you do is post "news of the stupid" type stuff, whereas Metafilter really posts the best of the web. This is my last post on FARK and I'm never coming back.
... wait. Where am I?
posted by shmegegge at 2:27 PM on April 30, 2008
... wait. Where am I?
posted by shmegegge at 2:27 PM on April 30, 2008
As sad as this kind of mental illness is, and as thankful as I am that he was caught before he could do any real harm, I have to say...
I just don't think he could take Jesus. I mean, ignoring the fact that the son of God is bound to have seriously bad-ass security, I'm betting that even if he did get right up next to him, if he tried some shit, Jesus would just hand him his ass.
And how embarrassing would that be? Getting the shit kicked out of you by the embodiment of peace and love? Yeah, you would never be able to live that one down. Better you got caught early on.
posted by quin at 2:40 PM on April 30, 2008
I just don't think he could take Jesus. I mean, ignoring the fact that the son of God is bound to have seriously bad-ass security, I'm betting that even if he did get right up next to him, if he tried some shit, Jesus would just hand him his ass.
And how embarrassing would that be? Getting the shit kicked out of you by the embodiment of peace and love? Yeah, you would never be able to live that one down. Better you got caught early on.
posted by quin at 2:40 PM on April 30, 2008
« Older Computer languages and facial hair | Ways of Seeing Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:09 PM on April 30, 2008