"Walk the most cutest male Pomeranian...oh, and he wants a cute and sexy girl, send photos!"

August 5, 2009 12:11 PM

Looking for work? Avoid this job.
posted by ocherdraco (46 comments total)

OK. I don't qualify anyway.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:17 PM on August 5, 2009

This really streamlines my favorite bored-at-work activity.
posted by oinopaponton at 12:18 PM on August 5, 2009

GENERIC SNARKBLOG IS SNARKY
posted by nasreddin at 12:19 PM on August 5, 2009 [8 favorites]

I thought this job was interesting.
posted by exogenous at 12:20 PM on August 5, 2009 [4 favorites]

snarkblog is snarky, sure, but I enjoyed "things that are cleansed" list. Cleanse. Cleanse. Cleanse. It's turned into one of those weird meaningless words now, for me.
posted by gaspode at 12:21 PM on August 5, 2009

I find it weird the obsessive level to which the site's owner has blanked out certain details... like the day and month, but left the year. Or blanked out the city name. As if none of this stuff couldn't be found via a google search. Weird.
posted by wfrgms at 12:24 PM on August 5, 2009

Metafilter: $25/hr To Follow My Wife SAIT.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:25 PM on August 5, 2009

I would be absolutely fascinated to find out more of the backstory for this posting. Had this turned up on the Oly craigslist, I might have applied just to discover WTF was going on.
posted by EatTheWeek at 12:27 PM on August 5, 2009

I would be absolutely fascinated to find out more of the backstory for this posting.

Why does he think peeling hardboiled eggs is so disgusting? I'm not sure I understand.
posted by dng at 12:30 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

Maybe the sulfur smell? What I want to know is where the eggs are coming from and going to. And why they can't be peeled onsute for maximum freshness? And why the insistence on trustworthiness and good references? And if the applicant is to use their own vehicle or if there's a company car involved? God damn but that's an intriguing post.

Hi, I'm on Metafilter and I could overthink a delivery of eggs.
posted by EatTheWeek at 12:33 PM on August 5, 2009

I think I'd quite like to be a professional egg-peeler, actually, thinking about it
posted by dng at 12:34 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

....There is a part of me that wants to check into whether the eggs one is New York based, because hell, I could do that....
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:35 PM on August 5, 2009

The gaudy, we-are-world-conquerors, language of the sales/HR/office job ads are just amazing. I can't imagine who would be attracted to a job in an office that is described as a three-ring-circus. And they actually seem proud of that description.
I'll just never understand the sales mind set.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:36 PM on August 5, 2009

> I would be absolutely fascinated to find out more of the backstory for this posting.

"My congratulations, Grasshopper. You have passed the first test. Next, we shall see if you can carry this orphan safely across the lip of the Volcano of Doom."
posted by darth_tedious at 12:38 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

Heck, how can spelling matter to an advertising company that uses the term ""very unique"?
posted by Man with Lantern at 12:40 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

On a lot of these blogs, the commentary is superfluous and unfunny. I must say I like the commentary here. It does a good job of highlighting, and mocking, the ridiculousness of these job postings.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:41 PM on August 5, 2009 [4 favorites]

Maybe I am getting old and crotchety and far-sighted, but I would like this a whole lot better if the PDFs of the ads were a bit clearer.
posted by amro at 12:45 PM on August 5, 2009

JEORB
posted by mrgrimm at 12:56 PM on August 5, 2009 [3 favorites]

Nobady can eat three dozen eggs.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:56 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

Reading the tea leaves on this one is making me kinda sad, though. I'm having a hard time picturing a scenario isn't a bit clueless and utterly without any reliable family support.
posted by EatTheWeek at 12:57 PM on August 5, 2009

I would be absolutely fascinated to find out more of the backstory for this posting.

Eggs for Cobb Salads at a small restaurant?
posted by ericb at 12:57 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

yikes. I dropped multiple words from my prior comment. That oughtta read:

I'm having a hard time picturing a scenario where the poster isn't a bit clueless and utterly without any reliable family support.

Guess we're all a bit clueless at times.
posted by EatTheWeek at 1:00 PM on August 5, 2009

Clearly with my spelling skills, I am well qualified for some of these positions.
posted by Pollomacho at 1:00 PM on August 5, 2009

During my recent (and thankfully brief) job search, I'd see butt-loads of these "advertising" jobs. Now don't get all excited and think that these are entrees into the world of Mad Men. I know that the lure of that glamour is hard to resist. These jobs, on the other hand are very easy to resist.

Here are things that are considered "advertising".

1. Selling classified ads in those rags that they give away at the front of the grocery store.

2. Telephone surveys.

3. Computer/Phone Sex.

4. Telemarketing of nearly any kind.

5. Paper Routes

Run. Don't walk.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:01 PM on August 5, 2009

ericb - Maybe. As likely as anything, I suppose - but how small could a restaurant be where it could perform all other Cobb-assembly duties and yet require twice-weekly boiled egg delivery?

I swear, this egg-ad is like the jazz-dancing in Spider-Man 3. The more you think about it, the less sense it makes.
posted by EatTheWeek at 1:06 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

I found this one peculiar:

Looking for a male, aged 21 or over, to transcribe the Encyclopedia in longhand, word for word. Red hair a MUST.

posted by jeremy b at 1:11 PM on August 5, 2009 [14 favorites]

eggs > eggstacy > ecstasy

I'm pretty sure that's 'code'.
posted by vectr at 1:22 PM on August 5, 2009

Looking for a male, aged 21 or over, to transcribe the Encyclopedia in longhand, word for word. Red hair a MUST

Heh. Dr. Watson, the game's afoot!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:31 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

I would be absolutely fascinated to find out more of the backstory for this posting. Had this turned up on the Oly craigslist, I might have applied just to discover WTF was going on.

I am just not clicking on that link at work, but on mouse-over (http://www.avoidthisjob.com/posts/2009/07/put-them-all-in-one-basket.html)
I would have to guess that it puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 1:42 PM on August 5, 2009

I thought the egg one was hilarious... I wonder what the hell this person is doing with all these eggs.
posted by SneakyArab at 1:49 PM on August 5, 2009

EatTheWeak: I would be absolutely fascinated to find out more of the backstory for this posting.

It's obviously a bi-weekly Cool Hand Luke fan club meeting. But, obviously, the advertisement is a failure to communicate.
posted by thanotopsis at 1:56 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

vectr has it.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:57 PM on August 5, 2009

Avoid this blog more like
posted by Damn That Television at 1:59 PM on August 5, 2009

This is a cut above most of the snarkblogs. It's thoughtful, well-written and funny. Good find!
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:17 PM on August 5, 2009

Looking for a male, aged 21 or over, to transcribe the Encyclopedia in longhand, word for word. Red hair a MUST.

Redheads are hot. Duh.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:39 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

GENERIC SNARKBLOG IS SNARKY

GENERIC SNARKY MEFITE IS METASNARKY



I thought the blog was funny. I even chortled.
posted by scratch at 2:41 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

You want to try to tell yourself this guy has two mattresses that require a "thorough deep cleansing" due to a glitter glue mishap at his monthly scrapbooking party? Go right ahead. But you know the truth. Deep down in your uncleansed soul, you know it.

This is damn funny-- thanks for the bookmark, I will add it to my daily blog list.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:25 PM on August 5, 2009

Funny enough, that babysitting one is actually something I just learned about. A lot of businesses offer some kind of "childcare" reimbursement to mothers working for them (at least here in vegas). A friend of mine just had a baby and they are "hiring" my other friend to be the babysitter. The job is 5 days a week, and the total reimbursement that the company is paying? $400 a month. For childcare of a newborn.

Sounds great, don't it kids?
posted by daq at 3:35 PM on August 5, 2009

I thought it was going to be people listing crappy jobs they already have like this guy.

I got a chuckle from it.
posted by inthe80s at 4:30 PM on August 5, 2009

Not everybody gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.
posted by Ding! at 7:59 PM on August 5, 2009

I think that guy should get some help for his ovophobia.
posted by pompomtom at 8:21 PM on August 5, 2009

Why does he think peeling hardboiled eggs is so disgusting? I'm not sure I understand.
Hardboiling a perfectly good egg is a disgusting crime against the tasty yolk
posted by atrazine at 3:29 AM on August 6, 2009

$400 a month? Yeesh. That wouldn't even cover our nanny for a single week! Still, it would be helpful. We certainly wouldn't refuse the assistance if it were available.

kathrineg, speaking as someone whose kids have a full-time nanny, that "i saw your nanny" blog you linked is pretty disturbing.
posted by zarq at 5:54 AM on August 6, 2009

Another blog which is funny as an idea, but the commentary kills it by sucking the humour out of each submission, like a hungry vulture sucking out marrow. Stop it, comedy vultures!
posted by mippy at 9:22 AM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

Either way, although I wish you luck in your quest for these mythical, sexy rickshaw-loving manbeasts....

Well, I ask you, who amongst us has not wanted mythical, sexy, rickshaw-loving manbeasts? And four of them? Well darling, it just wouldn't do unless one has a complete set of them, would it? You wouldn't have just one wineglass, or a single salad fork. One needs a complete set of things one uses regularly. Now, someone find my riding crop. I feel the need to take some air around the park.
posted by dejah420 at 11:32 AM on August 6, 2009

Pretty sure the egg one is a drug delivery solicitation. You can spot these because they don't make much sense when taken at face value, and usually list very specific numbers that are meant to be taken as cost/quantity. A post that has "ball" in it is referring to 8balls, egg probably means -- as vectr pointed out -- ecstasy, and so on.

Simple code that gives at least plausible deniability and avoids any kind of keyword flagging. Craigslist is full of this stuff.
posted by cj_ at 6:59 PM on August 8, 2009