Paging sharksmatter...?
October 9, 2009 5:53 PM Subscribe
You are a shark. You swim off the coast of Florida. You dive in and out of the water to smash boats, and you can pull jumbo jets out of the sky WITH YOUR TEETH. You are Miami Shark. Via Rockpapershotgun.
Yes, it is as awesome as it sounds.
Yes, it is as awesome as it sounds.
This was slightly more difficult than it should have been because I was laughing so much the entire time.
posted by Mizu at 6:01 PM on October 9, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by Mizu at 6:01 PM on October 9, 2009 [3 favorites]
This is the kind of misinformation that makes people afraid of sharks and makes it so hard to get people interested in saving them, even though they're a very important part of marine ecosystems.
Okay, maybe not so much.
posted by snofoam at 6:05 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
Okay, maybe not so much.
posted by snofoam at 6:05 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
That was really funny. Thanks for sharing it.
posted by procrastination at 6:16 PM on October 9, 2009
posted by procrastination at 6:16 PM on October 9, 2009
YES. FUCK YES. YES.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 6:32 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 6:32 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
We're gonna need a bigger B52 bomber.
posted by notmydesk at 6:34 PM on October 9, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by notmydesk at 6:34 PM on October 9, 2009 [4 favorites]
That was highly enjoyable!
posted by The otter lady at 6:38 PM on October 9, 2009
posted by The otter lady at 6:38 PM on October 9, 2009
You are a shark. You swim off the coast of Florida. You dive in and out of the water to smash boats, and you can pull jumbo jets out of the sky WITH YOUR TEETH.
They know me so well.
posted by DU at 6:42 PM on October 9, 2009
They know me so well.
posted by DU at 6:42 PM on October 9, 2009
That was almost too much fun, thanks.
posted by marxchivist at 6:57 PM on October 9, 2009
posted by marxchivist at 6:57 PM on October 9, 2009
Where's Fonzie?
posted by ...possums at 7:03 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by ...possums at 7:03 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
SPOILER
This is the actual reason the plane crashed on Lost.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:04 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
This is the actual reason the plane crashed on Lost.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:04 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
Do you want to know how awesome this game is? I'll tell you how awesome this game is: Playing it actually fixed the wonky cursor-down key on my keyboard.
If anybody ever asks about this problem in Ask MetaFilter, I'll just give them this link and tell them to pound on the stupid button until they can reliably drag helicopters into the water. It will be the best answer ever.
posted by FishBike at 7:09 PM on October 9, 2009 [10 favorites]
If anybody ever asks about this problem in Ask MetaFilter, I'll just give them this link and tell them to pound on the stupid button until they can reliably drag helicopters into the water. It will be the best answer ever.
posted by FishBike at 7:09 PM on October 9, 2009 [10 favorites]
Fantastic!
The only thing missing from the shark is Horatio Caine sunglasses.
posted by bwg at 7:25 PM on October 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
The only thing missing from the shark is Horatio Caine sunglasses.
posted by bwg at 7:25 PM on October 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
You're right, bwg.
I guess the game designer ...
... bit off more than he could chew.
YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
posted by adipocere at 7:33 PM on October 9, 2009 [20 favorites]
I guess the game designer ...
... bit off more than he could chew.
YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
posted by adipocere at 7:33 PM on October 9, 2009 [20 favorites]
adipocere, you said a mouthful.
Wait are we doing sexual innuendo or what?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:36 PM on October 9, 2009
Wait are we doing sexual innuendo or what?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:36 PM on October 9, 2009
Hell yes! I can't stop playing this!
posted by Eclipsante at 7:43 PM on October 9, 2009
posted by Eclipsante at 7:43 PM on October 9, 2009
OMG OMG OMG
posted by mwhybark at 7:54 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by mwhybark at 7:54 PM on October 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies
farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain
for we've received orders f'r to sail back to Boston
and so nevermore shall we see you again
Ooooh, anybody want to compare scars?!
also: SHARK ATE GIRL might be my new band name. It wants to be someone's, that's for sure.
posted by unregistered_animagus at 8:08 PM on October 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain
for we've received orders f'r to sail back to Boston
and so nevermore shall we see you again
Ooooh, anybody want to compare scars?!
also: SHARK ATE GIRL might be my new band name. It wants to be someone's, that's for sure.
posted by unregistered_animagus at 8:08 PM on October 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
I don't know, Greg Nog, it seems like stopping this shark...
...might not be a day at the beach.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
posted by Ghidorah at 8:16 PM on October 9, 2009 [5 favorites]
...might not be a day at the beach.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
posted by Ghidorah at 8:16 PM on October 9, 2009 [5 favorites]
Hell, yes!
posted by five fresh fish at 9:03 PM on October 9, 2009
posted by five fresh fish at 9:03 PM on October 9, 2009
That was great. Was the audio intentionally stuttering or was that my shitty internet hookup?
Either way ... havoc! With teeth!
posted by mannequito at 9:22 PM on October 9, 2009
Either way ... havoc! With teeth!
posted by mannequito at 9:22 PM on October 9, 2009
Maybe we should just get a script on the posting screen that automatically adds "via RockPaperShotgun" whenever anyone makes a post about PC games?
posted by straight at 9:58 PM on October 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by straight at 9:58 PM on October 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
Glad to see Mausland.de can still kick shit over and stomp around cursing.
posted by Rat Spatula at 10:58 PM on October 9, 2009
posted by Rat Spatula at 10:58 PM on October 9, 2009
Try as I might, I could not get sharkie to Super Jump when I wanted him to. Perhaps my slow computer is to blame.
posted by LogicalDash at 11:14 PM on October 9, 2009
posted by LogicalDash at 11:14 PM on October 9, 2009
"Eric ... did a shark just pull down a jumbo jet with the space shuttle on its back?"
"Yeah, H., it did."
"The get me a fishing pole, Eric, because that shark ... [dons sunglasses]
... is going down."
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
posted by bwg at 11:42 PM on October 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
"Yeah, H., it did."
"The get me a fishing pole, Eric, because that shark ... [dons sunglasses]
... is going down."
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
posted by bwg at 11:42 PM on October 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
I just brought down a STEALTH BOMBER. It tried to go into stealth mode, but my mighty shark jaws were just too quick for it.
Then, I chomped down on a flock of ducks as they flew south for the winter. Heh, heh, heh. Suckers.
posted by po at 11:44 PM on October 9, 2009
Then, I chomped down on a flock of ducks as they flew south for the winter. Heh, heh, heh. Suckers.
posted by po at 11:44 PM on October 9, 2009
Damn, but life is good when you're a shark.
My high score is somewhere around 1.8M. I managed to get every aircraft, I think.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:06 AM on October 10, 2009
My high score is somewhere around 1.8M. I managed to get every aircraft, I think.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:06 AM on October 10, 2009
Oh my God this is BITCHIN'.
I have not yet determined if singing this while playing improves my score, but I'm fixin' to find out.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:16 AM on October 10, 2009
I have not yet determined if singing this while playing improves my score, but I'm fixin' to find out.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:16 AM on October 10, 2009
I could use this in my English classes in Poland to demonstrate all the different kinds of watercraft to wide-eyed students.
"OK everyone, with your partner, note down the names of as many vehicles the shark destroys as you can!"
posted by mdonley at 1:45 AM on October 10, 2009
"OK everyone, with your partner, note down the names of as many vehicles the shark destroys as you can!"
posted by mdonley at 1:45 AM on October 10, 2009
Oh! My! Gosh! Oh My Gosh!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:49 AM on October 10, 2009
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:49 AM on October 10, 2009
This is probably the first game that has ever really faithfully expressed how I feel, deep inside.
posted by From Bklyn at 7:09 AM on October 10, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by From Bklyn at 7:09 AM on October 10, 2009 [8 favorites]
Why does the shark sound like a dog? Other then that amazing game.
posted by lilkeith07 at 9:10 AM on October 10, 2009
posted by lilkeith07 at 9:10 AM on October 10, 2009
Okay, how do I download this to my Mac, so I don't have to keep waiting for it to load when I go to the site?
posted by five fresh fish at 9:39 AM on October 10, 2009
posted by five fresh fish at 9:39 AM on October 10, 2009
My favorite little detail in this game (aside from the unspeakable awesomeness) is how it displays that little Google Maps snippet of Miami in the "miles to go" indicator. It's so authentic! It makes me feel like I'm really there...
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:36 PM on October 10, 2009
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:36 PM on October 10, 2009
I launched a space shuttle and several jumbo jets into the air.
I think I might have been playing backwards.
posted by dmd at 7:26 AM on October 11, 2009
I think I might have been playing backwards.
posted by dmd at 7:26 AM on October 11, 2009
dmd, it sounds like your CPU may be running in reverse.
Here's how to check: play an MP3 file of some country music. See if you get your dog back, or you get your truck back, or you get your house back, or you get your wife back...
posted by FishBike at 7:35 AM on October 11, 2009 [1 favorite]
Here's how to check: play an MP3 file of some country music. See if you get your dog back, or you get your truck back, or you get your house back, or you get your wife back...
posted by FishBike at 7:35 AM on October 11, 2009 [1 favorite]
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