Rectum? Damn near killed him!

October 12, 2009 9:08 AM

In a harrowing report, CBS introduces us to yet another thing to dread and fear, courtesy of that innovative R&D team at Al Qaeda: Rectal bombs. It's been revealed that an Al Qaeda operative, who last month tried to assassinate Saudi Arabia's counter terrorism chief, detonated explosives in his butt. Abdullah Asieri had arranged a meeting with Prince Mohammed Bin Nayef to talk about a truce, but it was just a ruse to get close to him with his exploding ass.
posted by jason's_planet (20 comments total)

Assplosion.
posted by The Whelk at 9:09 AM on October 12, 2009

pull my finger
posted by banshee at 9:13 AM on October 12, 2009 [2 favorites]

Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.
posted by The Whelk at 9:15 AM on October 12, 2009 [3 favorites]

I just hope the TSA doesn't get any ideas from this.
posted by edgeways at 9:16 AM on October 12, 2009

That's "deadication" right there.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 9:18 AM on October 12, 2009

The planning committee.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:19 AM on October 12, 2009

If you feel the need to tag your FPP ForTheWin, you should reconsider posting anything ever.
posted by incessant at 9:20 AM on October 12, 2009 [8 favorites]

Speaking of the TSA, this is where liquid explosives should be causing concern.
posted by Decimask at 9:21 AM on October 12, 2009

This will make those preparing-to-suicide-bomb videos into a porn sub-genre. Also: Al-Qaeda video animation would be an interesting job.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 9:21 AM on October 12, 2009

I just hope the TSA doesn't get any ideas from this.

REPORT OF DEEP COVER AGENT "SUNSET EXPRESS":

HAVE DISCOVERED NEW PLAUSIBLE EXCUSE TO MAKE AIR TRAVEL MORE UNCOMFORTABLE. WILL SUGGEST TO HIGHER-UPS ASAP. HIGH LIKELIHOOD OF BEING ADOPTED. MAXIMUM CONSUMER DISCOMFORT ASSURED.

-From the files of the Anti-Air Icarus League Of America.
posted by The Whelk at 9:24 AM on October 12, 2009 [2 favorites]

Wrapping a small bomb in a hundred and fifty pounds of meat is a pretty good way to catch all the shrapnel and render it harmless- except to the meat itself.
posted by jenkinsEar at 9:25 AM on October 12, 2009

Jesus, you couldn't even bother to get your Gawker link right.
posted by mediareport at 9:27 AM on October 12, 2009

If you thought the TSA reaction to the shoe bomber was inconvenient...
posted by snofoam at 9:27 AM on October 12, 2009

.

for this thread
posted by cjorgensen at 9:28 AM on October 12, 2009

Next time my Muslim doctor suggests a suppository might do the trick, I'm definitely getting a second opinion.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:28 AM on October 12, 2009

My suspicion: Someone in the Homeland Security Department is majority holder in a latex glove company.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 9:31 AM on October 12, 2009

what if there were bombs in vaginas, too?
posted by snofoam at 9:31 AM on October 12, 2009

Tagging your post with "SnarkBait" and "ForTheWin", and then proceeding to make multiple stupid jokes about butts and terrorism, is pretty much a textbook case of trolling. Why is this still here?
posted by dersins at 9:31 AM on October 12, 2009

Does this mean I'm gonna have to get to the airport even earlier now for my rubber gloved inspection?
posted by chillmost at 9:32 AM on October 12, 2009

If you thought airport security was a pain in the ass before...
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:32 AM on October 12, 2009