Gross.

December 27, 2009 7:15 AM

Twelve 'sexy' ads that will give you nightmares. (NSFW, single link to cracked.com, does what it says on the tin.)
posted by sugarfish (17 comments total)

A tag for "cracked" (19 results) might be more useful than "crackeddotcom" (no results other than this post).
posted by Jaltcoh at 7:23 AM on December 27, 2009

What, no Orangina furries?
posted by Bodd at 7:27 AM on December 27, 2009

The Burger King one didn't look so bad. And it does give new meaning to the term 'hot beef injection.'
posted by jonmc at 7:30 AM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Thank you for linking to a bunch of ads that depict pedophilia and rape, it's what Metafilter is made for.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:35 AM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

The cracked.com demographic gives me nightmares.
posted by porn in the woods at 7:37 AM on December 27, 2009

This page has Avast throwing a bunch of Trojan warnings from the ad server.
posted by Mitheral at 7:38 AM on December 27, 2009

Ah, cracked. Your editorializing on the images is mindless and uninspired, your user comments are 90% spam, and yet you keep showing up on the blue. How can something so wrong feel so wrong?
posted by fleetmouse at 7:40 AM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

This is actually pretty funny. I found #8 and #6 the most disturbing. #2 was actually kind of cool.
posted by delmoi at 7:41 AM on December 27, 2009

I tineye'd the Dolce & Gabbana ad hoping it would tell me what the hell is going on, but I still have no clue.
posted by taursir at 7:47 AM on December 27, 2009

#2 was actually kind of cool.

I agree, and think it probably doesn't belong in this set as it neither uses sex to sell something, nor really badly misjudges its audience. It might not be the best advert out there encouraging condom use among women, but it's hardly outstandingly bad. If I saw it in a magazine or on a wall, it would make me smile more than anything (and be kinda glad it wasn't OMG NSFW blacked-out like in the article - what's with that?).
posted by Sova at 7:53 AM on December 27, 2009

I also got Trojan horse warnings from Avast! and aborted the connection. Kinda what to expect if one follows a post like that, I suppose...
posted by aqsakal at 8:02 AM on December 27, 2009

I'm trying to think what is less sexy than fleshy body pillows with hair, shaped vaguely like Tetris blocks, so as to take a treasured childhood memory and turn it into a thing of revulsion.
posted by moz at 8:10 AM on December 27, 2009

I'm trying to think what is less sexy than fleshy body pillows with hair, shaped vaguely like Tetris blocks, so as to take a treasured childhood memory and turn it into a thing of revulsion.

They're the buttons from playstation controllers, the idea is she's cheating on her boyfriend by playing video games.
posted by delmoi at 8:12 AM on December 27, 2009

Bodd: What. The. F*ck.
posted by valkyryn at 8:18 AM on December 27, 2009

IIRC, many of those ads are from the '80's and for some strange reason, I was onbsessed by their vulgarity for much of that period. It was an art-school/semiotics thing.

Looking back, it just strikes me that advertisers were just horribly cynical -- rahter than clever -- at the time.

I'm suddenly wondering wtf was going on at the time, to produce those kinds of freakshow artifacts.

(And no, Reagan, GHW Bush, Gulf War I, the end of the Soviet Union and the Berlin Wall aren't sufficient answers...)
posted by vhsiv at 8:22 AM on December 27, 2009

Google cache.
posted by vhsiv at 8:28 AM on December 27, 2009

I thought the S&M vacuum ad was kind of clever.
posted by serazin at 8:29 AM on December 27, 2009