Pedobear Plush
June 12, 2010 10:12 PM   Subscribe

Here's the perfect gift for the 4 year old in your life: A Pedobear Plush.
posted by Chocolate Pickle (56 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
From here: "It's Pedobear, the Pedestrian Bear!"

Yeah, right.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 10:14 PM on June 12, 2010


That is so wrong. Which is probably why I am having a giggling fit.
posted by Jade5454 at 10:21 PM on June 12, 2010


How precious.
posted by LSK at 10:23 PM on June 12, 2010


Google says...

Encyclopedia Dramatica:
Pedobear or also Pædobear aka Roy Harms is one of the more famous and long running 4chan memes. He actually originated from 2channel (2ちゃんねる, ni channeru, 2ch for short), Japanese Internet forum, where he was called Kuma (クマー), literally "Bear". Some argue the Japanese omitted the "Pedo-" prefix to avoid redundancy since most anything churned out in Japan is assumed to promote pedophilia.

While Kuma was generally lecherous, Pedobear became the mascot for 4chan's legion of knuckle-dragging pedophiles, targeting prepubescent girls, or "loli". Like King Leonidas and each subsequent wave of Lolcats, Pedobear is the subject of many bad photoshoppings, usually pasted into whatever piece of child pornography b-tards get their filthy paws on.
posted by pracowity at 10:27 PM on June 12, 2010




Could somebody please explain the pedobear thing to me?

No.

My wife also has no idea what this is, which makes me want to get a couple for the twins
posted by davejay at 10:27 PM on June 12, 2010 [8 favorites]


Ah, damn, the bear's out of the bag!
posted by davejay at 10:28 PM on June 12, 2010


Pedobear, as far as I've been able to ascertain, is an image macro (employed similarly to the ORLY owl, although in different circumstances) employed to mock anyone who displays unnatural sexual interest in underage women... like a friend of a sibling who once opined that Lindsay Lohan looked hot in The Parent Trap.
posted by The Confessor at 10:29 PM on June 12, 2010


Something just scared my antivirus software, so probably the Encyclopedia Dramatica link or the main link in this post is doing weird things.
posted by pracowity at 10:32 PM on June 12, 2010


I feel like buying one of these will cause Chris Hansen to show up at my house and ask me what I meant to do with the bear.

"No, I just gave her the bear to show her the kinds of people to stay away from!"
posted by SNWidget at 10:35 PM on June 12, 2010


Oh man, I put an NSFW after my link because the article marks itself thus....Encyclopedia Dramatica is far worse
posted by Throw away your common sense and get an afro! at 10:38 PM on June 12, 2010


The ED article doesn't seem to make clear that the original bear character was a mascot named "Safety Bear" who seemed to get into fights with Ronald McDonald or get hooked by trolls. All perfectly healthy stuff to promote to your children. I'm not sure how it became Pedobear.
posted by shii at 10:39 PM on June 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


I have this horrible feeling that 4Chan is what normal discourse will look like 10 years from now. It seems to be oozing into our mental spaces like some horrible sweary racist ichor.
posted by Grimgrin at 10:47 PM on June 12, 2010 [11 favorites]


In other news, NPR's website recently contained the words "Goatse Security claims gaping hole in ipad users' data" (link) and that "The question is in the back-end- are there other systems that are using the number as an identifier for other things?" (link)
posted by dunkadunc at 10:49 PM on June 12, 2010 [4 favorites]


Pedobear blew.
posted by carsonb at 10:51 PM on June 12, 2010


(fixed back-end link)
posted by dunkadunc at 10:51 PM on June 12, 2010


I have this horrible feeling that 4Chan is what normal discourse will look like 10 years from now. It seems to be oozing into our mental spaces like some horrible sweary racist ichor.

No, 4chan or rather /b/ is what happens when you have a forum called 'random' with anonymous posting and only enough moderation to delete actual CP or anything else illegal enough to get the authorities knocking down the door.

Rock & Roll did not destroy civilization and neither will 4chan. The kids are all right.
posted by Throw away your common sense and get an afro! at 11:00 PM on June 12, 2010 [9 favorites]


Out of the "context" it looks like any other plush bear.
posted by djduckie at 11:07 PM on June 12, 2010


So guys, how come YOU know who Pedobear is, huh?
posted by dunkadunc at 11:09 PM on June 12, 2010


So guys, how come YOU know who Pedobear is, huh?

I got mine from Kinko, the kid loving clown!
posted by maxwelton at 11:28 PM on June 12, 2010


I know who Pedobear is because I walk sometimes.
posted by dirigibleman at 11:29 PM on June 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Kinko! Kinko the clown-o!
posted by davejay at 11:34 PM on June 12, 2010


………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_
……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
posted by killdevil at 11:35 PM on June 12, 2010 [4 favorites]


I have this horrible feeling that 4Chan is what normal discourse will look like 10 years from now.
I have this feeling that 4chan is what normal discourse looked like mumble years ago. Now it's simply online and searchable.
posted by hattifattener at 11:35 PM on June 12, 2010 [8 favorites]


Now it's simply online and searchable.

Lot of truth to that. The young-crowd BBSes were really, really juvenile, and if cheap computers had had good graphics and if Photoshop had existed, this sort of stuff would have been all over them. I see essentially no difference between late-80s geek kids and today's.

killdevil summed it up perfectly.
posted by Malor at 11:47 PM on June 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's a fine line between stupid and clever. Pedobear is that line: he embodies the intersection of taboo and irony. He is a trickster and an oxymoron. Making him a plush toy to be given to children just takes the joke (or insult, or point, or whatever) that much deeper. It's both brilliant and horrifying, which is exactly the point.
posted by mosk at 12:07 AM on June 13, 2010 [6 favorites]


Something just scared my antivirus software, so probably the Encyclopedia Dramatica link or the main link in this post is doing weird things.

I'd be disappointed if AV software wasn't scared by anything related to 4chan.

I do shed a tear for the short lived World Bear Project.
posted by ryoshu at 12:12 AM on June 13, 2010


When I was in a jr high civics class back in the 1980s (remember it was a very conservative safe sex time and I was in Nebraska, to boot) I was at the center of a fiery and angry class debate wherein I defended the rights of pedophiles to be just as free to live out their kinks as anyone else.
Things got really, really angry and heated in there. Names were called. There was shouting. As I recall one girl even stormed out.

I guess in the interest of open debate, the teacher tried to keep
things going and tried thru clenched teeth to maintain civility in there.

I'd have to say this argument raged on for a good 25 minutes or so when I finally just came out and said "look, I'm not personally in to sex with feet but so long as the owner of the foot doesn't mind, who are you or I to tell them what body parts they can and can't have sex with?"

I swear that up until that point things had unfolded like a bad episode of Three's Company. I must have been the only kid in that class to not have known that the root of "pedophile" wasn't "pedo" as in "pedometer."


Sigh.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 12:25 AM on June 13, 2010 [104 favorites]


pedophile nail trimmer?
posted by phaedon at 12:31 AM on June 13, 2010


I have this horrible feeling that 4Chan is what normal discourse will look like 10 years from now. It seems to be oozing into our mental spaces like some horrible sweary racist ichor.
Okay so a couple of years ago before I'd ever heard of 4chan I'd heard of 2Ch because of the whole ORLY owl and stuff like that. There was a MeFi thread about it and one of the Posters who reads japanese said that while a lot of the stuff that 2Ch put out was funny he felt that 2Ch was somehow causing damage to Japanese culture as a whole. That really seemed over the top at the time.

I mean, how could a web forum actually have an impact on an entire culture?
--

Anyway, what's interesting is that if you look at countries like China the most influential websites are actually just message boards. Where as in the US (for now) we mostly visit centralize news sites, a few blogs, and then recently social networking sites like twitter and facebook. But there's a big difference with FB in that you only see your actual friends, not the whole world. (and more importantly, people use their real names, which a huge difference)
posted by delmoi at 12:33 AM on June 13, 2010


Throw away... yes. But hysterically overestimating the impact of 4Chan is one of the best things about 4Chan. It's the internet hate machine that can make vans explode after all.

Yeah, it got me a long time ago.
posted by Grimgrin at 1:20 AM on June 13, 2010


2ch is the square root of the Internet. (And of 4chan, which is why 2ch is so much better crazy OMAE MO NAーーー
posted by armage at 4:19 AM on June 13, 2010


I mean, how could a web forum actually have an impact on an entire culture?

Imagine if 4chan was the English-language Internet's largest bulletin board by far, with forums and threads on any kind of topic, no moderation, and complete anonymity.

That's basically what 2ch has been (and is, though to a lesser extent) for the past 12 years in Japan. As a result, you've had things like Densha Otoko, politicians claiming to have read the site (some on a regular basis), outpourings of anti-foreign sentiment (especially towards Korea and China), demonstrations (remember WaiWai?), misogyny/classism, forewarnings of crimes/suicides, etc. These are naturally picked up by the media, which spreads it to an even wider audience.

So yes, a web forum can and does have an impact on an entire culture. Especially since the really weird stuff gets picked up and reinterpreted by non-Japanese for a non-Japanese audience whilst being tagged as "Japanese." I can easily see why some people feel that things like Pedobear (or, I suppose, Kikkomaso if you're a soy sauce traditionalist) presents Japanese culture in a less-than-positive light.
posted by armage at 4:45 AM on June 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


dunkadunc: In other news, NPR's website recently contained the words "Goatse Security claims gaping hole in ipad users' data" (link) and that "The question is in the back-end- are there other systems that are using the number as an identifier for other things?" (link)

Oh, it's even better than that. Check out the photo in the original story.
posted by Doofus Magoo at 4:46 AM on June 13, 2010 [3 favorites]


How precious.

Can you point to the part of the bear that touched you?
posted by hal9k at 5:43 AM on June 13, 2010


The (True?) Origins of Pedobear:

In the original Japanese ASCII art on Futaba Channel (2chan), it was simply kuma [クマー] (or bear).

The word unit pedo and the concept of pedophilia were added later by 4chan (English-language website started in New York). The original Japanese bear had nothing to do with pedophilia whatsoever.

It also has nothing to do with "safety bear" (stickers made much later) or "pedestrian bear" (cheap attempt at making a pedobear toy more, shall we say, family friendly).

Kuma had humble beginnings as kaomoji (emoticon):

「くまくま━━━━━━ヽ( ・(ェ)・ )ノ━━━━━━ !!!のサルベージ」

(the words on either side say "bear bear's salvage!!!")

Mirror of the original thread. For those interested in biology, this thread is an excellent example of rapid ASCII art evolution.

Notable evolutions include:

うおぉぉぉ~!
   ∩_∩
   ( ^(・)^)っ
  (つ   /
    |  (⌒)
   し⌒

(roaring "woooooooo!")

   (⌒─-⌒)
  ((( ・(,,ェ)・)
   ||l∩(,,゚Д゚)  <クマァー
    ||  .  |⊃ 
   C:、.⊃ ノ
     ""U

(saying "bear")

Please note that the above is not a true bear but a kigurumi (guy in a bear suit). Note the human face in the middle: (,,゚Д゚) Also note the similarity to the immensely popular Rilakkuma (the brown bear has a mysterious zipper on his back and is most likely kigurumi but this is never clearly stated). The ASCII art predates the Rilakkuma products but far be it for me to speculate where the product makers got their (original?) idea.


   ∩___∩
   | ノ      ヽ
  /  ●   ● | クマ──!!
  |    ( _●_)  ミ
 彡、   |∪|  、`\
/ __  ヽノ /´>  )
(___)   / (_/
 |       /
 |  /\ \
 | /    )  )
 ∪    (  \
       \_)

(barging into a thread shouting "bear!")

A common use of the bear was related to "fishing" threads/responses on BBS forums. By fishing I mean forum threads/responses intended as "bait" to attract people (fishing for attention), not phishing in the scam sense.

It was like saying "Do you think you can catch me with such (small, measly) bait!?" or "What cheap bait!" but of course the person was here posting so they'd already been caught by the bait. The ASCII art bear commonly used is literally running into the forum to get the bait.

To find out what the bear does with the bait, please refer to the クマー (kuma/bear) page on Wikipedia.

In Japan, the bear is used in hundreds of ways and thousands of situations but, as far as I have seen, it is not linked to pedophilia in any way. This is a construct of the English-speaking world. Of course, this may bleed (or may already be bleeding) into Japan from the English-speaking Internet culture.

The original Japanese kuma was an aggressive bear, not the cuddly (and creepy) bear you see on 4chan trying to lure small children away from their parents or sneaking into cribs at night. The original bear was a fighter:

                      _ /- イ、_
           __        /: : : : : : : : : : : (
          〈〈〈〈 ヽ     /: : : : ::;:;: ;: ;:;: ; : : : ::ゝ
          〈⊃  }     {:: : : :ノ --‐' 、_\: : ::}
   ∩___∩  |   |      {:: : :ノ ,_;:;:;ノ、 ェェ ヾ: :::}  
   | ノ      ヽ !   !   、  l: :ノ /二―-、 |: ::ノ
  /  ●   ● |  /   ,,・_  | //   ̄7/ /::ノ
  |    ( _●_)  ミ/ , ’,∴ ・ ¨  〉(_二─-┘{/
 彡、   |∪|  /  、・∵ ’  /、//|  ̄ ̄ヽ
/ __  ヽノ /         /   // |//\ 〉
(___)   /         /    //   /\ /

(punching Nuke-Do)

He'd often get into fist-fights and his battles were epic. His most worthy opponents were Nuke-Do(nald) and Sky Fish but nothing was off the table (fighting his twin, punching Pipo the police mascot, battling earlier evolutions of himself, etc.). (Warning: Geocities)

Important: I wrote "(True?)" in the title because this is true to the best of my limited knowledge. Legends tend to inflate and deviate from the truth as time goes by so please correct me if I am wrong.

                ∩___∩
                 /        ヽ
              | ●   ●  |ニ゙ィ
                彡 ( _●_)  ミ´,ァ‐ク'^'7YVレv、
                彡  |∪`゙,>'‐'^'"          'ス,
               lハ lレ'^'"_,_,rv-、j‐宀‐'ー'‐'k,ィ_, '`!
               V -'゙~ ̄`ヽ ̄三=ニ二二‐ヾム)
              ∠,_     l   `ヽ   ̄乙--''"´人
             / ̄ヾ;、 __|___`ヽ,,__,,.-'''"l ゙l、
             ノ   ゙i'f"~| ゙゙̄ブ~゙''‐'===-、、,,_| |l、
              |    l| / /       ||    ゙、`|=j' ヽ
            ノ      ll//        ||     ヽレ゙  「「l
                l     /|'        ||     /   l」」
            l   //l          ||     | 、   |
           ノー ' / /\_      ||    /| 、`ヽ、 ゙、
          /   /   l     ̄ ''― 〃  _/ /l  `丶、 ヽ.
         / /     /___ ‐=ニ二二}} ̄ __,  ヽ\ `ヽ、   l
        ///´ ̄  l―''" ̄     jノ ̄´‐=ニ/  }ニ、ー' /
        )ー‐ '7  /  __,,、、-―}}一 -、 > |  ヽ,_ (_
        /  /  /}'T'T゙丁丁~|゙~| ̄|~゙|゙丁丁TV  ∟,ー 、,_ )
         / / / /  l| | ||| |  | | | | | {     |  ,ノ {
       /フ7ァァ、/   }'‐┴┴┴┴┴┴┴┴┴r'‐!    }、,__,ィ゙
       7、'_///    ノ -=二       __,ノノ{     | ||| |
      ノ  丁     / 「 ̄ ̄     _厂 ///l     >'‐'く
     /、__,、 ヽ r‐'ーrl    __,.-_,-<´ ´ ̄`ヾf-、  /、,.、  l
     レ^f‐r'''く/ ノ_/ |    // ヽ 、 ヽ    ゙,ヽ l.  ゙ァ‐r'r'r'!
     ヽ'ー'じワ /   /|  ,.イ /   ゙、ヾ、l      ヽl l  `‐'‐'‐'´
           / /l. l /  / / /     lヾ、ヽ     l゙、l
          / / l l/ /  / /      ゙、l ヽ     ゙、ヽ
          7フー'/  / /        lヽ \    l |
         / / /   / /         ヾ、  丶   ゙、l
         / j/   / /          l ヽ、 \   lヽ
          / /  /,.ィ /           ゙、ヾ‐ヽ  丶、ヽl
       / /  // / l              l \ `ー一` lヽ
        / / //  / |               l   ヽ、    ) ゙、
        ||//  /  |             \lー- ニー '  |
       >  '‐一' _, /              \___,.二二l |
     /_,,.-一''"//                / j_,.-'"´ \
      | '―‐'二二´ く                   \,_`>、__,/
     \ _>‐、| /                   ヽ'-‐''"  |
      /´ ̄ ̄77′                     ゙、       |
.     /    //                        ヽ    |

Kuma thanks you for keeping his noble legend pure and true.
posted by stringbean at 5:55 AM on June 13, 2010 [235 favorites]


DO WANT
posted by meadowlark lime at 8:26 AM on June 13, 2010


stringbean, that comment is a standout in the history of internet comments, seriously. A little piece of scholarship on the origin of an early online meme, fantastic, thanks.
posted by LooseFilter at 9:07 AM on June 13, 2010


ASCII art so doesn't work on an iPhone.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:18 AM on June 13, 2010 [2 favorites]


/R/equesting rule 34 on this version of pedobear.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 9:39 AM on June 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is absolutely awful.

I want one.
posted by Memo at 9:52 AM on June 13, 2010


Doofus: I see what you're getting at with that picture, but, c'mon. The guy's not even wearing a wedding ring!
posted by kaibutsu at 3:51 PM on June 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


Would this be a good or a bad point to interject into the conversation an image of my infant daughter wearing a pedobear onesie that her not remotely creepy just very warped uncle bought her?
posted by jammer at 4:12 PM on June 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


This would in fact be the perfect point to do so!
posted by five fresh fish at 4:31 PM on June 13, 2010


Would this be a good or a bad point to interject into the conversation an image of my infant daughter wearing a pedobear onesie that her not remotely creepy just very warped uncle bought her?

pix or it didn't happen
posted by juv3nal at 4:47 PM on June 13, 2010


Would it be wrong to buy a bunch of these and donate them to Catholic charities?
posted by chairface at 6:00 PM on June 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


I think Pedobear could do with Cthulhu-like facial tentacles.
posted by acb at 7:20 PM on June 13, 2010


He does turn up in the unlikeliest of places.
posted by rifflesby at 8:43 PM on June 13, 2010 [2 favorites]


He marches, determined! Where is he going? To YOUR home! NOW!

This is so awesome.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 5:50 AM on June 14, 2010


Kuma thanks you for keeping his noble legend pure and true.

You're welcome. Now can you do one of Paedobear punching Gary Glitter?
posted by pracowity at 11:28 AM on June 14, 2010


This children's hospital has their logo all over Nationals stadium.
posted by exogenous at 6:34 PM on June 14, 2010


I sent one anonymously to the toddler of a good friend.
posted by frecklefaerie at 9:41 AM on June 15, 2010


Fucking awesome, stringbean.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:17 AM on June 16, 2010


Stuffed animal named Tommy Moose gives comfort to kids
A sympathetic-looking stuffed animal helps children who are sick or traumatized cope.
posted by kliuless at 5:32 AM on June 21, 2010


Sage
posted by Threeway Handshake at 7:24 AM on June 21, 2010


Human Centipede cat toy
posted by homunculus at 8:53 PM on June 23, 2010


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