Only in America
September 19, 2010 9:11 AM Subscribe
Got too much dignity but not enough money for surgery? Give away your dignity! Bridalplasty is for you!
This post was deleted for the following reason: It's certainly a weird bit of trainwreck television news, but a couple short OMG blog entries about a bad TV show that's getting made is kind of thin for a post. -- cortex
When I see "give away your dignity" and "Bridalplasty" in a sentence I immediately think "hymen reconstruction." I think that's fair.
posted by nathancaswell at 9:21 AM on September 19, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by nathancaswell at 9:21 AM on September 19, 2010 [1 favorite]
I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now press your lips against the horrible, rictus-like mask of the bride.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 9:23 AM on September 19, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by Horace Rumpole at 9:23 AM on September 19, 2010 [4 favorites]
And then there's the reality TV shows: I Want a Famous Face and The Swan.
posted by ericb at 9:27 AM on September 19, 2010
posted by ericb at 9:27 AM on September 19, 2010
In mental illness and in health.
posted by jaduncan at 9:28 AM on September 19, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by jaduncan at 9:28 AM on September 19, 2010 [3 favorites]
Reality Cuts -- "Are people deciding to get plastic surgery based on TV reality shows? A new study says yes, but the tube is only part of the picture."
posted by ericb at 9:32 AM on September 19, 2010
posted by ericb at 9:32 AM on September 19, 2010
This show would be perfect if everyone had to talk like pirates, though....
Yarrgh.
posted by Skygazer at 9:35 AM on September 19, 2010
Yarrgh.
posted by Skygazer at 9:35 AM on September 19, 2010
I'd feel bad about this, but to be honest I've lost the ability to give a fuck.
posted by tommasz at 9:37 AM on September 19, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by tommasz at 9:37 AM on September 19, 2010 [1 favorite]
Even the name sounds hideously deformed. Aren't you supposed to have a noun before the -plasty ending, denoting the body part being messed with?
posted by Dr Dracator at 9:38 AM on September 19, 2010
posted by Dr Dracator at 9:38 AM on September 19, 2010
"I just want to say one word to you - just one word."
"Yes sir."
"Are you listening?"
"Yes I am."
"Plasty."
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:38 AM on September 19, 2010 [3 favorites]
"Yes sir."
"Are you listening?"
"Yes I am."
"Plasty."
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:38 AM on September 19, 2010 [3 favorites]
I'd feel bad about this, but to be honest I've lost the ability to give a fuck.Cheeto? It's made with cheese like substances...
posted by notion at 9:41 AM on September 19, 2010
It would be wise
If the winners were three
Mold each to look better:
One a duck,
One a rooster,
One a parrot.
Then the three
Would be forced
At gunpoint
To shoot a live-action remake of Three Caballeros.
There is no downside to this plan.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:46 AM on September 19, 2010 [4 favorites]
If the winners were three
Mold each to look better:
One a duck,
One a rooster,
One a parrot.
Then the three
Would be forced
At gunpoint
To shoot a live-action remake of Three Caballeros.
There is no downside to this plan.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:46 AM on September 19, 2010 [4 favorites]
women’s two most important goals in life — looking pretty and getting hitched
Did someone actually write that?
posted by sourwookie at 9:48 AM on September 19, 2010
Did someone actually write that?
posted by sourwookie at 9:48 AM on September 19, 2010
Scratch that. I caught the tone of the rest of the story. I ain't so swift with just a phone for browsing.
posted by sourwookie at 9:50 AM on September 19, 2010
posted by sourwookie at 9:50 AM on September 19, 2010
That "Shine" section of Yahoo really rubs me the wrong way, but there's this comment about the article:
That's how persons of Homeland Security are; Their level of LIFE is filled with tons of Psychological Disorders which they have helped to spread to everyone else: This article is just another sample added to the list of USA dysfuntional Behavioral/Psychological disorders: > 50 million people are addicted to over-the-counter drugs to street drugs 2) > than 3 million people are labled as hoarders 3) > than 15 million people are regular smokers 4) > 15+ million americans are unemployed and without health insurance 5) > 150,000,000 people are doing or living in Gluttony And as the free ruling I's of this Nation which make the Conglomerate of God(?) yet all these dysfunctional Psychological disorders? The 7 deadly sins: 1. Lust 2. Greed 3. Gluttony 4. Pride 5. Envy 6. Hate 7. Wrath...These are what tons of USA citizens at the HOUSETOPS who yell on a daily basis claiming their sect of persons equivalate to the making of GOD are filled with. Therefore, their body in disguise as this article reveals another psychological disorder are: THE FALSE MESSIAH.
posted by fuq at 10:00 AM on September 19, 2010
That's how persons of Homeland Security are; Their level of LIFE is filled with tons of Psychological Disorders which they have helped to spread to everyone else: This article is just another sample added to the list of USA dysfuntional Behavioral/Psychological disorders: > 50 million people are addicted to over-the-counter drugs to street drugs 2) > than 3 million people are labled as hoarders 3) > than 15 million people are regular smokers 4) > 15+ million americans are unemployed and without health insurance 5) > 150,000,000 people are doing or living in Gluttony And as the free ruling I's of this Nation which make the Conglomerate of God(?) yet all these dysfunctional Psychological disorders? The 7 deadly sins: 1. Lust 2. Greed 3. Gluttony 4. Pride 5. Envy 6. Hate 7. Wrath...These are what tons of USA citizens at the HOUSETOPS who yell on a daily basis claiming their sect of persons equivalate to the making of GOD are filled with. Therefore, their body in disguise as this article reveals another psychological disorder are: THE FALSE MESSIAH.
posted by fuq at 10:00 AM on September 19, 2010
Sometimes I think Qutb had a point.
Precisely what I thought when reading it. That and "What's the number of my local Islamic Extremist cell?"
posted by Biru at 10:02 AM on September 19, 2010
Precisely what I thought when reading it. That and "What's the number of my local Islamic Extremist cell?"
posted by Biru at 10:02 AM on September 19, 2010
Dear People Who Watch Reality TV and Media Who Write About It:
Stop trying to blame morally bankrupt networks or producers for this sort of thing. This is your fault. To paraphrase de Toqueville (or maybe Jefferson-- google seems to disagree)-- in a society of a thousand cable networks and limitless on-demand offerings, people get the pop culture they deserve.
Love,
a guy who spent half a decade working on shows like this*
*Well, maybe not exactly like this, thank god, but still.
posted by dersins at 10:06 AM on September 19, 2010
Stop trying to blame morally bankrupt networks or producers for this sort of thing. This is your fault. To paraphrase de Toqueville (or maybe Jefferson-- google seems to disagree)-- in a society of a thousand cable networks and limitless on-demand offerings, people get the pop culture they deserve.
Love,
a guy who spent half a decade working on shows like this*
*Well, maybe not exactly like this, thank god, but still.
posted by dersins at 10:06 AM on September 19, 2010
.
The . is because whatever was left of our society just died.
posted by Fizz at 10:08 AM on September 19, 2010
The . is because whatever was left of our society just died.
posted by Fizz at 10:08 AM on September 19, 2010
I'm gonna pitch a tv show called "WHO WANTS TO FUCKING DIE?" where every week, all the contestants have giant things dropped on them. Don't steal my idea.
posted by kingv at 10:11 AM on September 19, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by kingv at 10:11 AM on September 19, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'm thinking more on the lines of a reality version of "The Human Centipede". Each week the loser of the challenge gets added to the centipede. Even better: "CELEBRITY Human Centipede"
posted by briank at 10:20 AM on September 19, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by briank at 10:20 AM on September 19, 2010 [2 favorites]
This show is the perfect solution for less-well-off couples where the groom says to his beloved "I would love you just that much more if you looked like Joan Rivers."
posted by Capt. Renault at 10:28 AM on September 19, 2010
posted by Capt. Renault at 10:28 AM on September 19, 2010
When altar time comes, they should totally switch the bride with another random person to fuck with the groom's head.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:38 AM on September 19, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:38 AM on September 19, 2010 [3 favorites]
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That.
This.
Holy fuck.
Frankenstein's Bride is a bridezilla-stein.
posted by Skygazer at 9:21 AM on September 19, 2010