Freddie Foxxx's glaring omission notwithstanding

September 21, 2010 7:32 PM

The Grand Taxonomy of Rap Names. Via.
posted by cashman (32 comments total)

I saw that yesterday. I thought it kicked ass.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:41 PM on September 21, 2010

Greatest thing ever.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:44 PM on September 21, 2010

That is incredible.
posted by arcticwoman at 7:49 PM on September 21, 2010

It's not a Taxonomy, it appears to be a directed acyclic graph with six root nodes (Or six overlapping taxonomies)
posted by delmoi at 7:50 PM on September 21, 2010 [7 favorites]

There's only one root node: "Rap Names."
posted by jedicus at 7:53 PM on September 21, 2010

delmoi, you beat me to that unbearably pedantic remark, damn it
posted by clockzero at 7:57 PM on September 21, 2010

So long as we're being unbearably pedantic, Raekwon the Chef should be under Drug Trade, not Gustatory - he didn't get that name from cooking up food.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 7:58 PM on September 21, 2010 [10 favorites]

Hmm. It shouldn't be too hard to think of somebody who doesn't fit in any of those categories....
posted by box at 7:59 PM on September 21, 2010

Keith Murray?
posted by box at 8:01 PM on September 21, 2010

I'm not sure about the rules. Why don't Audacious Misspelling or Named After Products refer to Eminem? Why does Cardinal Direction apply to Kanye West when that's just his name? Where's the connection of Small to Shorty Shitstain? Was the only thing to say about ?uestlove that there's punctuation in his name?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:07 PM on September 21, 2010

Let's see you do better.

Haters etc.
posted by axiom at 8:09 PM on September 21, 2010

Very cool.


Keith Murray?

Talib Kweli? Ali Shaheed Muhammad? Nas? Proposed: Minor node for Given Names, arising from Titles/Honorifics. Kind of a dull add-on, but in the interests of completeness...
posted by BinGregory at 8:15 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

There's only one root node: "Rap Names."

Hmm, I didn't notice the lines from the center to the six colored nodes, I thought that was just the title. Either way, it's not a strict hierarchy.
posted by delmoi at 8:16 PM on September 21, 2010

My first 6 seconds of thought while looking at it:

"'Physical or Metaphysical attributes'...huh...'Skin Color'...'Brown'...'Foxy Brown'...hmm how boring...'Physical or Metaphysical attributes'...'Size'...'Small'...'Lil' (!)...BAHHHAHAHAHAHA"
posted by 3FLryan at 8:26 PM on September 21, 2010

I don't know about this chart, but my next R&B cover band will definitely be named "Acyclic Graph and His Six Root Nodes"
posted by gwint at 8:31 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

One more technical gripe: why are there two hands trying to scratch that record? What the fuck happened to the tonearm?
posted by fuq at 8:41 PM on September 21, 2010

I love this. I picture this as a rapid-fire list spouted out by a comedian in his routine about how silly rap names have gotten. (Or, were, period, I suppose.)
posted by ralenys at 8:48 PM on September 21, 2010

1. The lack of Craig Mack under the "Macks" saddens me. (Especially if you're going to dig up Kriss Kross for the sake of Macks)
2. I thought Ginuwine only sang R&B... am I mistaken?
posted by yeloson at 8:54 PM on September 21, 2010

why are there two hands trying to scratch that record?

I just about enjoyed this until you mentioned that. Seriously. I don't care if Serato is the shit, go out and buy some damn Technics. Get your laptops off my lawn, etc.
posted by iamck at 9:16 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Keith Murray?

Yeah, not only is not a Taxonomy it's hardly 'Grand'.
posted by P.o.B. at 9:36 PM on September 21, 2010

Also, Memphis Bleek isn't from Memphis.

pedantry aside, I quite like this
posted by Kattullus at 10:10 PM on September 21, 2010

1. Mack 10 should hook up to Weapons.
2. Ma$e (for that is his name) should hook up to Punctuation (or an offshoot thereof); Murda Ma$e makes a true Connect Four.
3. Krayzie Bone is surely Improper Use of K.
4. Ice-T contains the word Ice.
5. Lil Bow-Wow? (Two!)
6. Uncle Kracker? (That's three!)
7. Kurious, Kurupt and Ginuwine are all Misspelled Adjectives.
8. In addition to the two hands a-skratching (and their dubious placement) and the sideways tonearm, the label and spindle-hole aren't even almost centered on the record. Come on, dude. You could try trying.
9. "Sir," "Lady" and "Emperor" are not marks of Royalty.

Et cetera.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:38 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

I hated this until I saw you people hating it.
posted by hutta at 1:12 AM on September 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

I ain't no professor pickles!
posted by Eideteker at 3:49 AM on September 22, 2010

Where's Tai Mai Shu?
posted by bwg at 4:10 AM on September 22, 2010

I like this. I picture a printed out version with handwritten additions to the "honorifics" node, leading to Inspectors and then Inspectah Deck. In my mind, it's being handwritten by Deck himself, as he does his best Rodney Dangerfield impersonation -- "no respect, no respect I tells ya..."
posted by .kobayashi. at 5:22 AM on September 22, 2010

Hmm, couldn't find A Tribe Called Quest
posted by Evernix at 6:43 AM on September 22, 2010

Um. Where's Common? Authenticity or All Too Human?

*sigh* Taxonomizers gonna taxonomize.
posted by clavicle at 7:41 AM on September 22, 2010

...To say nothing of the absence of Frontalot!
posted by clavicle at 7:42 AM on September 22, 2010

Heavy D, but no Kool Moe Dee? They could have at least put him under Titles/Schooling/Doctors. After all, that's how he goes to work.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 1:36 PM on September 23, 2010

Kool Moe Dee is in the top right corner, under Kool.
posted by Kattullus at 2:14 PM on September 23, 2010

How ya like me now?
posted by box at 3:58 PM on September 23, 2010