I Want My GayTV.

January 8, 2002 4:22 PM

I Want My GayTV.
posted by rex (51 comments total)

Sorry, I hit submit before saying what this actually is: a gay channel that MTV and Showtime are in "serious discussions" to create.
posted by rex at 4:24 PM on January 8, 2002

"I Dream Of Weenie"?
posted by hellinskira at 4:25 PM on January 8, 2002

"Melrose Post"?
posted by Real9 at 4:31 PM on January 8, 2002

"Backdoor Brady's"?

Sorry. That was bad. It's an actual movie, though. Don't ask me how I know.
posted by Hankins at 4:35 PM on January 8, 2002

Well, that's gay.
posted by mrbula at 4:35 PM on January 8, 2002

Gilligan's Island.

You know, Gilligan was the Skipper's "little buddy."

I always wondered about the Professor. He could have had it going on with Ginger and Mary-Ann. Those chicks dug his brainy bravado.
posted by fleener at 4:39 PM on January 8, 2002

Will MTV show "Unplugged" on the channel as well?
posted by hellinskira at 4:40 PM on January 8, 2002

Ok. Now let's make some great jokes about black shows.
MTV knows a market when it sees one, and gays, already appearing on a few shows during regular ("straight time"), so this is nothing earth shattering, but Gays have on average a higher income than straights....and that is worth cruising for.
posted by Postroad at 4:50 PM on January 8, 2002

refer a friend! win a toaster!
posted by machaus at 4:53 PM on January 8, 2002

Geze, it's like a middle school in here. Grow up already people. I think it's a great idea. We pretty much run all the other networks it's about time we get out own.
posted by brian at 4:54 PM on January 8, 2002

oops our own. heh. freudian slip.
posted by brian at 4:57 PM on January 8, 2002

I'm a married hetro woman who is addicted to Queer as Folk. I love it? However, I doubt I'd watch all gay TV. But why not try it. There's Oxygen for Women. BET for African Americans. Sportcenter for guys. Why not have a gay channel. Although there's so much homophobia, probably most cable companies wouldn't even offer it for fear of a backlash by the extremists out there.

By the way, people, gay jokes like above just aren't funny. Like Postroad says, anyone know some good black jokes? How about some retard jokes? Italian jokes? Har har.
posted by aacheson at 5:00 PM on January 8, 2002

I didn't mean for a ? after the second sentence. Whoops.
posted by aacheson at 5:00 PM on January 8, 2002

Yeah, that's true aacheson, no one ever makes fun of straight white guys, ever! Sorry!
posted by hellinskira at 5:06 PM on January 8, 2002

I take it some of you would fit in with mid-90s MTV. huh huh huh huh... you said gay. shut up beavis. damnit butthead, i am cornholio!!!!! And some here think they are better then a cetain presidente.

Seriously of course, this is really nothing new, but rather major players who will put another independant channel which is on course directly to its grave. And while I think in general it's a good idea, but i question whether there would truly be enough content to fill 24/7/365. It seems there would be a lot of overlap to the kind of thing that is already on other channels.
posted by benjh at 5:48 PM on January 8, 2002

TV channels that pitch explicitly for one particular demographic are usually a total insult to people within that demographic. How about 'Men & Motors' for heterosexual blokes? I've watched that; it's the most tedious watered-down pappy sham of a station I've ever had the misfortune to stumble across. I expect GayTV would end up making a large number of intelligent homosexuals feel utterly patronised... it'll certainly cause more offence than a few harmless double-entendres.
posted by RokkitNite at 6:00 PM on January 8, 2002

But what about our children? Will gay tv seduce them into a gay lifestyle? Where is the govt on this?
posted by Postroad at 6:22 PM on January 8, 2002

Kids that get "seduced" into the "gay lifestyle" are kids that stand a good chance of not breeding. That means more parking spaces for me, and fewer loudmouthed little darlings sitting behind me at my umpteenth screening of LOTR. Go Gay TV!
posted by Optamystic at 6:26 PM on January 8, 2002

"But what about our children? Will gay tv seduce them into a gay lifestyle? Where is the govt on this?"
Let me say something here: Does a white couple raising a black child seduce that child into being "white"? I still think that you're born gay. And before anyone posts "BUT GOD HATES GAYS!!" You know what? I've read the Bible. Cover to cover. Many times. And you know what I read there? That God is about LOVE. You know what? I read that God doesn't have the ability to hate. God made gays. And as far as I know, there are 10 Commandments, and none of them are: Thou shalt not have sexual intercourse with the same sex. As long as the sex is consentual, and with two people of legal ages, why bitch about it? If you don't like it, don't do it.
posted by Katy Action at 6:30 PM on January 8, 2002

Yeah, I knew this one kid in Wisconsin who watched too much Spanish-language programming and actually became Mexican. So watch out all you concerned parents.
posted by Poagao at 6:31 PM on January 8, 2002

FYI: "First 24-Hour Gay TV Network Debuts in Canada--Canada's publicly held Headline Media Group has launched a multi-million dollar subscription-based gay-oriented network called PrideVision for digital and satellite TV services in Canada. The new network is spending $5 million in programming alone for the first year on a mix of popular series from England like "So Graham Norton" and "Metrosexuality," as well as US shows "Queer As Folk," MTV's "Undressed," as well as original newsmagazine "Shout." Next year, more new programs are planned."
posted by Carol Anne at 6:40 PM on January 8, 2002

By the way, people, gay jokes like above just aren't funny.

How 'bout "raging feminist" jokes?
posted by KLAX at 6:47 PM on January 8, 2002

[...And as far as I know, there are 10 Commandments...]

Were, you mean? Given the new covenant seems to have replace them with just the two and it doesn't mention it. Of course, Jesus never said a thing about gays. That's really all Paul's doing as far as the new testament is concerned. Honestly, I find it difficult to belive that the son of God would forget to mention the whole homosexual thing if it was a concern of his.
posted by revbrian at 6:47 PM on January 8, 2002

I think the point here is that plenty of advertisers will be happy to have a place to pitch to a wealthy demographic. For the most part, gays don't have children (I do, but most don't), which means that they have relatively more disposable income. And while there are relatively few TV shows that are developed primarily for a homosexual audience, there's plenty of suitable programming out there that's been demonstrated to appeal to gay audiences. And a cable channel can develop its own shows.

No, it's not a monolithic group, but if you have a 24/7 station, you have plenty of air time to use for special interest programming for subgroups within the gay population.

As for the jokes, I don't mind jokes if they're funny, but "I Dream of Weenie"? Is that the best you can do? I can think of any number of truly funny ideas for gay reality TV.
posted by anapestic at 6:54 PM on January 8, 2002

I'm thinking gay TV will be more sucessful than, say, "The Bass Club" (or whatever those fishing programs are).

And the GLBT community has people who like to work on cars, go fishing (!), have relisious beliefs, etc. I suspect the idea is to provide standard sorts of TV programs where it's OK to have a same sex partner.

And no one has to watch if they don't like it.
posted by Red58 at 7:10 PM on January 8, 2002

Think of it the other way round. Imagine us straightos being denied access to all literature, arts and entertainment produced or extolled by gays.

As if gays need guidance or special entertainment! It's straight people who need to be straightened out and lighten up.

Broadcastingwise, I'd concentrate on teenagers: let them know if they're gay and that it's OK. So they don't waste time and suffer needlessly. I don't believe in one-sided seduction. I've lived too much. It's bullshit.

Grown-up gays are the savviest people on earth. I wouldn't bet one lousy euro on any bunch of execs trying to "target" them.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:15 PM on January 8, 2002

"If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would be pretty much left with Let's Make a Deal." -- Fran Liebowitz
posted by bradlands at 7:22 PM on January 8, 2002

This is...GayBC.
posted by ParisParamus at 7:22 PM on January 8, 2002

I don't mean this as an insult to anyone, but so far I'm not happy with myself for posting this. The best we can do is "gay jokes are dumb! / what about white guy jokes?" discourse? C'mon, we can do better than this. It's like Meta-Beavis, where neither side realizes they're the Butthead. Dammit, now I'm doing it.

Anyway, there is the question of further ghettoizing a culture by segregating it to its own network. Like, "we don't need gay-themed shows on NBC now because we have GayTV." It removes the lifestyle from mainstream culture. But I guess I'm already prepared for the counter-argument: you can't ghettoize a culture by giving them a cable network owned by Viacom.

Or maybe the nuance here is niche-marketing? Is anyone disturbed by the fact that this is being created merely to sell product to a niche-market? It's not like Viacom really cares about quality programming.

Or, heck, maybe this is about gay jokes after all. Is there a self-effacing/camp aspect of gay culture non-existent in other [not going to write "sub-"] cultures that changes the sanctions?

Finally, why do I at all steps want to write "speaking as a hetero" or "I'm not gay but..."?

This is too meta.
posted by rex at 7:26 PM on January 8, 2002

real mature, guys. does anyone know any degrading ninja jokes, so we can laugh it up some more? har de har- *thwap* hey, who hit me?
posted by lotsofno at 7:30 PM on January 8, 2002

if it's not a porn channel, then i'm not interested. that's the only real reason to have an entirely gay channel.

putting non-white and/or non-straight characters on prime time network tv would be a more reasonable answer. relegating non-white and/or non-straight people to separate channels is equivalent to ghettoizing us. doubtless a narrowminded marketer's viewpoint which will fail. not only will the viewers be gay, they'll be male, female, and of every racial origin. find the demographic, i dare you.

(my hot latin boyfriend thinks so too. nyah.)
posted by patricking at 7:38 PM on January 8, 2002

TV channels that pitch explicitly for one particular demographic are usually a total insult to people within that demographic.

Thank you.
posted by rushmc at 7:51 PM on January 8, 2002

By the way, people, gay jokes like above just aren't funny.

Actually, they were a little funny. Some of the best gay jokes I've heard have been from the mouths of gay people. Of all the "special interest groups" out there, our homosexual brethren(and sistren(?)) are best at laughing at themselves. We all should remeber how to do that. Hell, I'm half Irish half-Italian,(also known as a "gimmick") and I have a bigger repertoire of mick and wop jokes than anyone I know.

As far as the GayTV idea goes, Patrick King is right, narrow micromarketing just makes for even lousier TV. I mean would I get a Straight White Male Channel, too? Nothing but 24-hour WWF, Sports Illustrated swimsuit specials, Cops reruns, NASCAR, and the Man Show?

Actually that dosen't sound half-bad.

*grabs remote*
posted by jonmc at 7:57 PM on January 8, 2002

Aren't most channels already Straight White Male Channels?

There are already networks for women (Lifetime), black people (BET), and Christians (CBN), among others. Why not have a network for gay people? It makes as much sense as any of the others.
posted by RylandDotNet at 8:33 PM on January 8, 2002

I think it's a great idea. We have Univision, BET, Lifetime, ad nauseam, all looking for the niche markets. Why not a gay channel?

In fact, let's go even further (thanks patricking for the inspiration).

Let's have a black lesbian channel (BLT), a white lesbian channel (WLT), an Asian lesbian channel (ALT), an Hispanic lesbian channel (HLT), their corresponding gay male channels (BGT, WGT, AGT, and HGT), and a bunch of in-between channels (biTV in all flavors).

Soon, we can all have our own little niches where we only watch TV, read magazines, and listen to the radio that's aimed at our demographic market, and everyone will be happy and the world will be bright and shiny. Of course, we'll have to launch separate satellites to carry all the channels, but that's OK. The satellite names could be just as much fun.

"Broadcasting to you from satellite Bi-2, this is the French-American Bisexual network, FAB!"

Bah.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:38 PM on January 8, 2002

*This is not thatwhichfalls, this is his wife, who is too pregnant and lazy to create a profile for herself.*

I used to work for a gay TV station in Utah (yes, there are gay people in Mormonville, USA) in the promotions department. It was actually quite a successful venture into niche marketing.

They had a gay "dating game," live talk shows dealing with issues such how to and how not to come out, and whether to come out, and coming out in the workplace (for which you can still be legally fired in most states), and Gay live theatre televised. It was quite classy, until it was shut down by the prominant conservative faction in the state, which at the time did not even allow homosexuality to be discussed in public education sex ed classes.

And by the way, "seduce our children???" Get real! If you are worried about your children being "seduced" into homosexuality, I recommend you don't let them watch, and while your at it, try teaching them some values. If they are still gay after all that, try electroshock therapy, or some other medieval form of bullshit torture. I, for one, will love my children whomever they turn out to be.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 9:05 PM on January 8, 2002

Amazing that there's so much controversy about this. For the record, I'm not gay, and I don't have any gay friends (that I know about), but I'm definitely upset about a gay network. Not because it's "gay" but because I didn't think of it. Say what you want, but it's a great idea, and will eventually become a cash cow.

There's a market for this, guys. Just watch these people make money. It may take some time, but it'll be successful.

If only I had thought of this before my Warm Hat with Earphones idea. Damn.
posted by Samsonov14 at 9:13 PM on January 8, 2002

I for one am thrilled by this, because perhaps MTV will start playing music videos again.
posted by insomnyuk at 10:18 PM on January 8, 2002

Well, here I am a gay guy, and I bust out laughing at "I Dream of Weenie". Now I feel so cheap and ashamed.

You know, if this gets off the ground, I'll give it a look. If it doesn't insult my intelligence or pretend that gay life means only a camp-n-clubbing kind of existence, I might keep watching it.

But I could have really used it when I was a teenager. I can just imagine myself back then, poor paranoid fool, tuning in when my parents were gone but turning down the volume lest the neighbors hear and guess. Even so, it would have helped immensely to see gay people on television who weren't portrayed as freaks or deviants. Luckily we're in the age of Will and Grace now - but I still don't think I've seen a frank discussion about coming out on network television. There is legitimate ground here, and I hope they stake their claim and make it worthwhile television.
posted by Chanther at 11:05 PM on January 8, 2002

I mean would I get a Straight White Male Channel, too?

They're doing that in Canada as well as the Pride channel, and a bunch of other stuff. The "Men" channel offers such enticing fare as "Cops", "Cheers", and "Benny Hill" reruns, a couple of different powerboat shows, a wine show, and some really lame titty shows.(Sort of like wild on E! with naked peelers here and there, and candid camera stuff with naked women surprising guys who think they've just got desk jobs and are desperately trying to maintain some decorum. This latter offering actually features a one-foot-in-the-grave Alan Funt orchestrating the proceedings! I cringed like I heven't cringed for years!) Seeing as how we (SWMs) control everything, couldn't we come up with a better men's channel than this?

Anyway, IMHO, the more "narrowcasting" there is, the less power any one element will wield over the rest of us. I think this is a good thing.
posted by BGM at 12:04 AM on January 9, 2002

*This is not thatwhichfalls, this is his wife, who is too pregnant and lazy to create a profile for herself.*

Can I just say I found this a bit scary? It's sort of like thatwhichfalls was possessed.

I know. I should get out more.
posted by Grangousier at 12:42 AM on January 9, 2002

it all started with "ernie and bert"
posted by blackholebrain at 1:01 AM on January 9, 2002

Let's have a black lesbian channel (BLT), a white lesbian channel (WLT), an Asian lesbian channel (ALT), an Hispanic lesbian channel (HLT)...

Ok... I can bet that the majority of the people watching these channels will be straight men.
posted by benjh at 4:44 AM on January 9, 2002

Gays are not "wealthy." Money, Myths and Change by Badgett documents the lousy methodology and self-serving purposes of so-called gay income studies. It's not quite a lie that gays have higher incomes, but it does come close.
posted by joeclark at 4:53 AM on January 9, 2002

TV channels that pitch explicitly for one particular demographic are usually a total insult to people within that demographic.

Such as sports fans, who get ESPN, ESPN2, EPSN Classic, and Fox Sports?
posted by Carol Anne at 5:02 AM on January 9, 2002

Well, here I am a gay guy, and I bust out laughing at "I Dream of Weenie". Now I feel so cheap and ashamed.

I'd think that any non-lesbian women would enjoy "I Dream of Weenie" just as much as our gay brothers -- I think that they would also have to create a channel meant for gay men and the women who hang with them to watch together. I'll let you all brainstorm possible names for something like that.
posted by Dreama at 5:05 AM on January 9, 2002

This isn't really all that new an idea. This guy has been on tv for years.
posted by crunchland at 5:13 AM on January 9, 2002

I don't know that I'd mind a gay network - it could be a very good thing. But not if MTV is running it! As a friend said yesterday - "MTV pretty much destroyed rock 'n' roll - what will they do to homosexuality?"
posted by dnash at 8:56 AM on January 9, 2002

We have Univision, BET, Lifetime, ad nauseam, all looking for the niche markets. Why not a gay channel?

because univision, BET, and lifetime's programming sucks. we need another watered-down suck job of a channel to be a warped mirror for yet another demographic (which already has a warped reflection)? i doubt it.
posted by patricking at 1:05 PM on January 9, 2002

The "Men" channel offers such enticing fare as "Cops", "Cheers", and "Benny Hill" reruns, a couple of different powerboat shows, a wine show, and some really lame titty shows

Yes, that represents my interests as a man. Not a single thing I would deign to watch (well, maybe the wine show once or twice). How entertaining. What a successful narrowcasting model.
posted by rushmc at 3:06 PM on January 9, 2002

patricking: Relax, I'm on your side here. Apparently my post wasn't dripping with enough sarcasm, but I thought I made it clear that I think continuing down the niche road is a bad idea.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:46 PM on January 9, 2002