The Euphemism Generator

March 5, 2002 2:45 PM

The Euphemism Generator can create up to 68,289,490 unique phrases! Do you have a favorite euphemism?
posted by gen (35 comments total)

[verbing] the [noun]!
posted by Neale at 2:52 PM on March 5, 2002

[verbing] the [obscure adjective][noun]!?

Maybe this explains the great movie title "Gleaming the Cube"
posted by kokogiak at 2:58 PM on March 5, 2002

Some friends and I embarked on a very long evening of coining euphemisms for the oft-euphemized solo activity. My favorites were "shooting Mr. Lincoln" and "joining the Lilith Fair."
posted by argybarg at 3:03 PM on March 5, 2002

"joining the Lilith Fair."

I coined "shelunking" for this particular activity as it applies to females. It has yet to grip the nation.
posted by Skot at 3:19 PM on March 5, 2002

I particularly like drives the van, to refer to something that rocks or is da bomb.
posted by brittney at 3:28 PM on March 5, 2002

"Dropping the kids off at the pool" has long been a favorite of mine.
posted by davehat at 3:39 PM on March 5, 2002

My god. This is exactly what we have needed for long, long time. Know what I mean. Nudge. Nudge. Say no more.
posted by shagoth at 3:42 PM on March 5, 2002

'Friend of Dorothy' is a good euphamism for, uh gay, which is a bad euphamism for homosexual, which a stupid 19th century confusion of Latin and Greek root words, which is a... Oh never mind.

The Dorothy in question being this one, not that one.

As for wanking euphamisms, I always like the British 'banging the Bishop'.
posted by evanizer at 3:47 PM on March 5, 2002

Spanking the monkey was fun.
posted by riffola at 3:52 PM on March 5, 2002

oft-euphemized solo activity

Indeed. So oft, in fact, that it seemed reasonable for me and my mates to use "having a pot noodle" in that capacity. Oh, the hilarity caused from simply trying to have a quick, hot snack.
posted by MUD at 4:02 PM on March 5, 2002

"Dropping the kids off at the pool"

I usually let it be known that the kids have their swimsuits, sunblock, and towel at the ready.

Drain the main vein is a good one for peein'.

Or, if someone is scared, I say he is shitting twinkies.
posted by adampsyche at 4:04 PM on March 5, 2002

My family likes playing euphemism games. One that has remained in use among us: "multiple-legged non-mortgage-paying resident" (cockroach; add "with fur" for a mouse).
posted by thomas j wise at 4:20 PM on March 5, 2002

Actually, I frequently find dysphemisms more interesting. A classic example: sweater meat. It's hard to imagine two words that are more unintentionally revealing.
posted by NortonDC at 4:40 PM on March 5, 2002

"This is not an appropriate place for grooming the yak."

I will use this phrase every day.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:41 PM on March 5, 2002

[verbing]

or [gerund], of course.
posted by transient at 4:46 PM on March 5, 2002

shaking your sister's glass bulldog..
posted by Settle at 5:34 PM on March 5, 2002

One of my new favorites for alcohol is panty remover. If you don't own a cellphone, you're cellibate.
posted by euphorb at 5:52 PM on March 5, 2002

where's "putting Mr. Kleenex's kids through college?"
posted by jonmc at 6:01 PM on March 5, 2002

punchin' the Munchkin
posted by ColdChef at 6:32 PM on March 5, 2002

I tend to use the euphonious 'whacking the wonderweasel'.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:48 PM on March 5, 2002

Wonderweasel, Wonderchicken...Wonderwhatcomesnext.
posted by ColdChef at 8:07 PM on March 5, 2002

"Well, spank me and make me like it."
posted by redhead at 8:16 PM on March 5, 2002

Redhead, is that along the same lines as "Well, butter me and call me corn!"?
posted by Dreama at 8:28 PM on March 5, 2002

I had a theory as a 14-year old that any word can be used to imply the penis.
posted by Hildago at 8:39 PM on March 5, 2002

"Barked her like a cat."
posted by black8 at 8:43 PM on March 5, 2002

Hildago: That would be "I've got your ____ right here."
posted by riffola at 8:44 PM on March 5, 2002

As seen on MeFi. "I've got your _____ right here."
posted by riffola at 8:47 PM on March 5, 2002

Of course, the classic internet reference for such things is the page of Alliterative Religious Euphemisms for Male Masturbation. Unfortunately the list has been watered down over the years, and a lot of it is no longer alliterative. But anyway. You get the idea.
posted by chrismear at 12:48 AM on March 6, 2002

Chowin' the bearded clam.
posted by crasspastor at 1:18 AM on March 6, 2002

Theres loads here via haddock.
But if youll excuse me im off to lay some cable with my Arab friend Musthava Crap
posted by monkeyJuice at 2:03 AM on March 6, 2002

For masturbation, my favorite is : Disobey the Pope.

My personal favorite one that I myself coined was "Vald invades Holland."
As in Vald (the impaler) and Holland (land of the tulips), but no one ever thinks it's funny. Too clumsy, I guess.

I also came up with drowning Nixon, frosting the Catherine wheel, farting on McCarthy and putting the midget in the dishwasher, but I don't know what any of those mean just yet.
posted by dong_resin at 2:49 AM on March 6, 2002

in 7th grade, I made up this skit in my mind that I told all my friends about, pretending that I saw it on TV. apparently they thought it was hilarious as well because for the rest of the year, we all referred to masturbation as "working for the government."
posted by lotsofno at 4:33 AM on March 6, 2002

I think adding the word 'man' to most nouns can make them creepily suggestive, especially 'organic' ones, or ones that refer to the human body.

Man-hair
Man-skin
Man-breath

Und so weiter...
posted by saladin at 5:14 AM on March 6, 2002

My favorite for being surprised, courtesy an elderly in-law relative: "Well, paint me purple and call me violets."
posted by alumshubby at 5:57 AM on March 6, 2002

Not mine, but heard from another mefi'er: "smokes cloves," for something really cool. "Your site SO smokes cloves," for instance. Used with some irony, I think.

Or this one, from an elderly Jamaican woman: "As surprising as a fart in a cane-bottomed chair."
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:13 AM on March 6, 2002