the "Moohnochwa" is coming!

August 14, 2002 6:31 AM

the "Moohnochwa" is coming! A mysterious UFO type object has killed 7 in India and injured more. Mmm Hmm. I for one want to be the first to welcome our new insect overlords.
posted by outsider (27 comments total)

What's really funny here is that MSNBC has this filed under:
"Science and Technology >> Space News"
posted by Blake at 6:37 AM on August 14, 2002

It may be polluted, overcrowded, and poverty-stricken, but I'll say this about India - They're head and shoulders above the rest of the world when it comes to the most entertaining cases of mass hysteria.
posted by Samsonov14 at 6:38 AM on August 14, 2002

"It was like a big soccer ball with sparkling lights," said Kalawati, who uses only one name.

Oh crap. India has been invaded by a disco ball.
posted by pardonyou? at 6:41 AM on August 14, 2002

Are the aliens a race of monkey men? Have they come here to retrieve one of their own, a la ET?
posted by uftheory at 7:05 AM on August 14, 2002

"I saw an alien!"

"Sure you did rummy!"
posted by Dark Messiah at 7:17 AM on August 14, 2002

I'd like to hear a lot more about those bugs they've never seen before, and why they're suddenly in populated areas.
posted by frykitty at 7:24 AM on August 14, 2002

Maybe it was some sort of newfangled Pakistani disco missile?
posted by spilon at 7:27 AM on August 14, 2002

Hmmm. UFOs. Hmmm. Mysterious bug attacks.

Hmmm.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:27 AM on August 14, 2002

It's getting hard to keep track of all our new overlords these days. I'll stick with the spider-goats.
posted by adampsyche at 7:52 AM on August 14, 2002

I guess every country has their own version of the UFO spotting hayseed.
posted by insomnyuk at 8:01 AM on August 14, 2002

I for one want to be the first to welcome our new insect overlords.

Is that you, Kent Brockman?
posted by troybob at 8:06 AM on August 14, 2002

Is anyone else as confused as I am as to why space aliens would invent faster than light travel, cross a huge gulf of space, come to our planet in what would for human beings at least would be the greatest achievement of the species only to go ahead and kick the crap out of a bunch of Indians in the middle of the night?
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:16 AM on August 14, 2002

Because they can.
posted by DailyBread at 8:23 AM on August 14, 2002

Maybe they got tired of mutilating cows.
posted by Samsonov14 at 8:40 AM on August 14, 2002

It's a Friday night in rural India. What else are you going to do?
posted by donpardo at 8:45 AM on August 14, 2002

Innocent people are being murdered by disco-ball aliens and you people are cracking jokes. Assholes!
posted by bargle at 8:47 AM on August 14, 2002

I found two other reports on this: ufoindia.org: 'muhnochwa' attacks Uttar Pradesh! and The Times of India: Panic over monkey business in Lucknow. ufoindia.org may not have the clout of AP, but with a name like that how can you doubt their authority on the matter? This is an intriguing story, but not nearly as good as last years Monkey Man.
posted by genapathy at 8:48 AM on August 14, 2002

Oops, that link should be ufoindia.org.
posted by genapathy at 8:50 AM on August 14, 2002

According to this article, (in swedish, sorry) the Monkey Man is back.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 8:57 AM on August 14, 2002

I sure would like to see a picture of these bugs...I'm envisioning a sort of Cicada. Don't laugh! Until you have seen your cat running towards you with the Buzzing Demon Bug From Hell in his mouth, you can't know the true meaning of terror!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:48 AM on August 14, 2002

newfangled Pakistani disco missile

now THAT'S a great band name.
posted by donkeyschlong at 10:02 AM on August 14, 2002

Until you have seen your cat running towards you with the Buzzing Demon Bug From Hell in his mouth, you can't know the true meaning of terror!

You, sir, own a brave cat. When we moved to Kansas, our cats wouldn't go near them. And not that I would blame them--them's scary looking bugs.

now THAT'S a great band name.

You're the expert there, buddy!
posted by y2karl at 11:42 AM on August 14, 2002

It's a Sign.
posted by redsparkler at 11:50 AM on August 14, 2002

what complete and uttar pradesh.
posted by quonsar at 12:32 PM on August 14, 2002

“A MYSTERIOUS flying object attacked him in the night,” Raghuraj Pal said of his neighbor, Ramji Pal, who died recently in Shanwa. “His stomach was ripped open. He died two days later.”


“More often than not the victims have unconsciously inflicted the symptoms themselves,” said Narrotam Lal, a doctor at King George’s Medical College in Lucknow, the state capital.

So, some guy unconsciously ripped open his own stomach? Talk about mind over matter...
posted by MsVader at 1:17 PM on August 14, 2002

“Even if the enemy carries out its threat to bomb us with nukes, we don’t have to panic,” Radheshyam Gupta told a press conference in Lucknow, “because we have sacred cows to help us. You can fully protect yourself from nuclear fallout by covering the roof of your house with cow dung. And applying sacred cow dung paste to your body from head to toe will serve as an extra shield.”
Gupta, a spokesman for the Uttar Pradesh Cow Protection Commission, was speaking as tensions with Pakistan over the status of Kashmir threatened to escalate into a full-scale conflict. “Our commission’s primary mission is to prevent the slaughter of gaumata, the mother cow, which all Hindus regard as holy. But we also promote sacred cow products like urine and dung, which have powerful medicinal properties. Ordinary people cannot afford expensive protective clothing against radiation, so they need to be informed that sacred cow dung will protect them against nuclear fallout, and also from radiation burns. And luckily we have a limitless supply of sacred cow dung in this part of India.”
The RSS (Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh, a powerful Hindu nationalist organisation) has given its backing to the campaign, but scientists remained sceptical. “Sure, if the bomb drops, you can cover yourself in cow shit if you want to,” said one, “but you’re going to die anyway.” (Navyug [India], 24/6/02. Spotter: Brian Ewen).

- Private Eye.
posted by emf at 6:08 PM on August 14, 2002

At least one scientist is identifying the flashing menace as ball lightning. Sounds reasonable.
posted by taz at 11:17 PM on August 15, 2002