If you see only one /switch spoof this season,

November 12, 2002 12:04 AM

If you see only one /switch spoof this season, see this one. [quicktime movie] And decide whether you want to /switch... to Canada.
posted by condour75 (71 comments total)

I'm sold. Where can I get my own Canadian?
posted by joedan at 12:22 AM on November 12, 2002

Oh no! It looks like one of our more liberal citizens took some bad advice and actually carried off to the Great White North (in 1996, no less. Yeah, that puts him out of the country just long enough to criticize a president he has never lived under). Watch out up there, he must be with the terrorists!

Seriously, though, to all the canadian MeFites out there, I love you, and you have my sympathy. "If you don't like it, move to Canada." - That's supposed to be a big joke, you see.

Don't mind me. I'll just be over here rolling around in piles of stinky money.
posted by alas at 12:30 AM on November 12, 2002

I've actually humored myself and thought of moving to Canada. Nice n' neutral, like my Brita water. But I'd be homesick for my family within a week.
posted by Modem Ovary at 12:45 AM on November 12, 2002

you know... Canada seems like a cut rate Sweden to me. I'm holding out for the "real thing."
posted by cadastral at 1:03 AM on November 12, 2002

The Swiss funded the Nazis- or wait, are the Swiss from Sweden or Switzerland? Who can keep them straight? Didn't Sweden fund the Nazis, too?
posted by internook at 1:24 AM on November 12, 2002

Sorry, this is the best switch spoof of the season
posted by PWA_BadBoy at 2:13 AM on November 12, 2002

O.K. If this is not a baiting post, then I have no idea what is.

Nice n' neutral, like my Brita water.

I just cant take it. I may have inadvertently commented on political threads during delusionary fugues, but these words are typing themselves.

"Nice and neutral"?? Yes, neutral if you are a die-hard Leningrad circa 1956 communist. Canadians are normal, but their government, unfortunately, is cripplingly Franco-cheese-eating-surrender-monkey socialist.

What's with Canada?, asks Jonah Goldberg.

A Good Canadian; Jamie Glasov, comments on:

Being A Successful Canadian Nationalist

And: Yes, Bush Did Snub Canada. So What?

posted by hama7 at 3:44 AM on November 12, 2002

Hama7, didn't mean to offend. I meant "neutral" with respect to America's image as the world police.
posted by Modem Ovary at 3:53 AM on November 12, 2002

hama7, what planet are you on if you think Canada is anything like communism?

Look, we should do a deal here. We on the left will stop making Nazi quips unless we see the colour of your jack boots if you stop the Stalinist ones, unless you know where the Canadian Gulag archipelago is.

Any takers?
posted by lerrup at 3:55 AM on November 12, 2002

That's supposed to be a big joke, you see
HAHAHAHA

i get it now.

god i never knew Usians were so envious of canadians!

and Modem Ovary.. erm get some balls would ya.
posted by carfilhiot at 3:57 AM on November 12, 2002

didn't mean to offend.

'Twasn't your comment, Modem, but the link. No offense taken.

Now I've gone back on my 'no political posts' vow, dammit.

Don't make me go and break out my Mark Steyn now, ya hear?
posted by hama7 at 4:01 AM on November 12, 2002

hama: looks like you and Steve@ have both turned in your 'Metapoliticaholics' 1 day chips...what the hell, if you're gonna get hanged for a lamb, may as well get hanged for a sheep - go nuts!

Being A Successful Canadian Nationalist. Hmm, this link might also apply to another nation in the British Commonwealth I can't quite put my finger on at the moment...
posted by backOfYourMind at 4:30 AM on November 12, 2002

if you're gonna get hanged for a lamb, may as well get hanged for a sheep

I think the real swing is toward civility, and the link, rather than political discussion/debate.

"Were All In This Together" or, "You're Wrong; No You're Wrong". Take your pick.

We're all aboard the Titanic. How do you choose to eventually go down?
posted by hama7 at 4:47 AM on November 12, 2002

hama: don't misundertand - my comment was supposed to be more along the lines of "it's good to have a variety of Mefi viewpoints, don't be shy about expressing your view" than "Oh yeah well - and the horse you rode in on".

I thought my second point clarified the tone...guess not.
posted by backOfYourMind at 4:59 AM on November 12, 2002

"it's good to have a variety of Mefi viewpoints, don't be shy about expressing your view"

Oh, good. I guess if I smoke one, i may as well smoke the whole pack, to extend the metaphor.

Count me back in on the politics payload in terms of responses to posts, but frankly it's a bit pointless if the discussion invariably swerves in the typical way...

Aw hell, let's have a good time!
posted by hama7 at 5:18 AM on November 12, 2002

Unlike a lot of my fellow Canuks, I actually like the fact that most Americans have no idea where we are, or think we all live in igloos. If most of them knew what we were all about.....ahem, I mean "aboot"...then they might all want to move here, you never know.
posted by CrazyJub at 5:23 AM on November 12, 2002

A. I guess if I smoke one, i may as well smoke the whole pack

I see you've got the gist...Yeah, it may be pointless, but if you really think posting comments on a blog is going to change the course of international politics...

The point is, if you're going to comment at all, you might as well say what you mean, mean what you say etc...even if you get scorched a little.

Anyway...we were talking aboot Canadians?
posted by backOfYourMind at 5:39 AM on November 12, 2002

I meant "neutral" with respect to America's image as the world police.

we are? wow, no one told me. i thought that we agreed with most everyone else regarding the usa.
posted by dobbs at 5:50 AM on November 12, 2002

The original link, it doesn't work. I feel deaf and blind here--what's going on? Where is everybody? What are you guys talking about? *cries*
posted by ashbury at 6:10 AM on November 12, 2002

You're all a bunch of hosers.
posted by adampsyche at 6:10 AM on November 12, 2002

Yes, Canada is communist. You've got us figured out. Those unions of ours, just a hoax. Those wealthy citizens of ours; they don't exist. We are all bound to the Jean Chretien cult of worship -- he's not our prime minister, he's actually Chairman Chretien.

If you don't believe us, wait until we invade Poland.

*groan*
posted by Dark Messiah at 6:37 AM on November 12, 2002

I think living in Canada just feels different. Y'know when you're waiting in line for a Big Slurpee at 7/11. You don't have a feeling that some asshole is gonna walk in and blow your head off and splatter your brains all over the sandwich counter.
posted by disgruntled at 6:49 AM on November 12, 2002

Is there a mirror of the mov? Is this Slashdot?
posted by stbalbach at 6:50 AM on November 12, 2002

My favorite Switch parodies were the ones the geeks @ OSCon did. Found here.
posted by danisaacs at 6:54 AM on November 12, 2002

http://bantha.cjb.net/john/ is the personal site with mirror information.
posted by jmackin at 6:54 AM on November 12, 2002

I was all prepared to fire up dictionary.com to look up "usian" when I realized that what carfilhiot was saying was "US-ians." As opposed to "Americans" which, as we all know, is a term that US residents have selfishly swiped from the rest of the hemisphere out of a grandiose sense of entitlement.

And here, I always thought it was because our country is called The United States of America. Aw, what do I know? I'm from Texas.
posted by vraxoin at 6:58 AM on November 12, 2002

Cute, but kinda weak in terms of parody. It's just ambiguous criticism of America, when it should've been some kind of a comparison like the Apple ads.
posted by freakystyley at 6:59 AM on November 12, 2002

Aw, what do I know? I'm from Texas.

If it's bigger, it's BETTER! :)
posted by Dark Messiah at 7:04 AM on November 12, 2002

Someone told me the other day why the majority of Newfoundlers and Nova Scotians are in favor of allowing Quebec to secede. . . . . .


Anyone?
posted by Danf at 7:23 AM on November 12, 2002

Because they would the Maratimes might then be absorbed by the United States, as they would be cut off from the rest of Canada with Quebec in between....
posted by pjgulliver at 7:27 AM on November 12, 2002

Because it would shorten the drive to Toronto. . . .
posted by Danf at 7:29 AM on November 12, 2002

And the winner is Danf. Sorry pjgulliver, but we have some great consolation prizes for you. Hope you like Rice-a-Roni.
posted by smcniven at 7:31 AM on November 12, 2002

I guess since I'm an American I don't get that...how would it shorten the drive to Toronto?
posted by pjgulliver at 7:33 AM on November 12, 2002

Side note: hama7 is a Franco socialist like an anarchist totalitarian? Are you an oxymoron or something?
posted by sylloge at 8:04 AM on November 12, 2002

pj: Well, see, Quebec is in between Nfld/NS and Ontario. So, if you get rid of Quebec....

I'm in favour because of the opposite--it would shorten the drive to St. John's. But I would miss all those ... tasty ... potatoes.
posted by Fabulon7 at 8:35 AM on November 12, 2002

backOfYourMind: It would be appreciated if you don't bring up my name, in something I was not yet involved in.

But let me get this straight, these are the reasons that Canada is better than the US, according to John:

1. Canada was voted the number one nation to live in by the UN 7 times. (Gee, we all know how much everyone in the UN loves the US...)

2. He had a bad credit record (I can assume this because a person with a good credit record would careless), and they must not do that in Canada, so it got wiped out.

3. He thinks American currency had an odor to it. (This is a reason to change countries?)

4. He thinks that nationalism equates to complacency and stupidity

5. He thinks a President he didn't vote for, is a monkey.

Can't say I am sorry he left....
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 8:49 AM on November 12, 2002

Ah Ha.....now I get it!
posted by pjgulliver at 8:51 AM on November 12, 2002

A pastie?

My countries honour is besmearched!
posted by lerrup at 8:59 AM on November 12, 2002

Steve: I'm really glad you disarmed John's very dangerous arguments about the US.

Good thing someone is taking this seriously.
posted by ODiV at 9:10 AM on November 12, 2002

We're invading Poland? Those damn cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys in Ottawa can't do anything right. We need to invade a warm country. Poland is cold and flat, I can get that in Saskatchewan.

Sorry, what were we talking about?
posted by Salmonberry at 9:37 AM on November 12, 2002

I still can't view this....none of the sites are opening. Is anyone else having this problem?
posted by pjgulliver at 9:39 AM on November 12, 2002

Steve, hama7, et al. -

You're absolutely right. Nothing to see up here. Just a bunch of clueless Commies who couldn't invade a PTA meeting, much less an axis-of-evil powerhouse. Think of us as your friendly neighbourhood North Korea - but without the nuclear weapons program.

Please pay us as little mind as possible. And if you wouldn't mind taking back a few things - the Vancouver DEA office for starters - we'd really appreciate it. In exchange, we'll stop sending our suspicious award-winning novelists to bother you good god-fearing capitalistic people. Thanks.
posted by gompa at 9:41 AM on November 12, 2002

Relax.

"The United States" and "people who live in the United States" are two different things. You are talking with the latter, not the former.
posted by Fabulon7 at 9:49 AM on November 12, 2002

As a canadian, I find this funny.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:10 AM on November 12, 2002

"...unless you know where the Canadian Gulag archipelago is."

It's gotta be here.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:17 AM on November 12, 2002

And beep beep beep, it just ate my 401k.
Like...and I worked hard to get it. And then I had to get another job, and it wasn't as good.
posted by 2sheets at 10:17 AM on November 12, 2002

Sorry, correction
posted by blue_beetle at 10:18 AM on November 12, 2002

ODiV: I never said that John had "dangerous arguments", I implied that they were stupid... If some one want to find reason to leave the US, I am sure they can find better ones than those...

gompa: I never said any of the things that you rail against. Do not put words in my mouth...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 10:26 AM on November 12, 2002

My favorite switch ad spoof is still Ben Brown's
posted by terrapin at 10:34 AM on November 12, 2002

Well, it was nice, that is, while it lasted.
posted by JollyWanker at 10:42 AM on November 12, 2002

Steve, back away slowly from the coffee mug.

Me, I love Canada. But then again, I love all kinds of places. I've even found places I love in Texas! Now Florida, that I could still see sliced from the US mainland with a canal and left for panthers, 'gators and daring-do citrus growers. (Although I am still angry that orange juice became more common as something one drinks for breakfast instead of a cocktail mixer.)

Oh, and the link did give me a wee chuckle.
posted by Dick Paris at 10:44 AM on November 12, 2002

J.Wanker try reading the whole MeTa thread....
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 11:02 AM on November 12, 2002

3. He thinks American currency had an odor to it.

Err, I hate to tell you this, but it's true. The US dollar has a very distinct smell. New bills are especially pungent.

(Am I stating the obvious here? Maybe currency is like farts, in that you're generally immune to the smell of your own, or is that just me too?)
posted by inpHilltr8r at 11:02 AM on November 12, 2002

New American currency does have a smell, though I would equate it to "New Car Smell" some thing that is not in particular a pleasant odor, but one I do enjoy...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 11:07 AM on November 12, 2002

Ahhh....the site finally worked. It's a funny ad. Steve, you're an imbecile to get mad about it. Chill dude. I'm not up here ranting about The Weekly Standard's faux NYTimes cover page.
posted by pjgulliver at 11:38 AM on November 12, 2002

Franco-cheese-eating-surrender-monkey socialist

Hama7, if you're going to incorporate Duckman's comments about France (not Quebec, but an explanation France vs Quebec, and communism vs socialism vs the political reality of Canada, which is neither, would take too much space here) then at least have the decency to cite. I mean, you wouldn't be taking someone else's writing and passing it off as your own, would you? That would be almost communist.
posted by holycola at 12:33 PM on November 12, 2002

I'm not mad, it is just stupid...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:44 PM on November 12, 2002

I doubt if anyone mistook Hama7's comments to be original, but the correct citation would involve Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons.
posted by cardboard at 12:45 PM on November 12, 2002

Ok. Then you're not an imbicile. It is stupid. But stupid funny. Like Chevy Chase.
posted by pjgulliver at 12:47 PM on November 12, 2002

pj: agreed
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:52 PM on November 12, 2002

I think the smell in US currency is intentional. I remember watching a TV show where they had dogs in airports that can sniff out bags and people carrying over $10 000.

But they have to do something about the colours.
posted by mfli at 3:02 PM on November 12, 2002

Like Chevy Chase.

Chevy Chase is funny like a trip to the dentist is funny.

"Take mah credit history and wipe it!!"
posted by hama7 at 3:21 PM on November 12, 2002

But they have to do something about the colours.

I'd rather have some of them coins with holes in them. That is cool.
posted by gyc at 3:29 PM on November 12, 2002

Please pay us as little mind as possible. And if you wouldn't mind taking back a few things - the Vancouver DEA office for starters - we'd really appreciate it. In exchange, we'll stop sending our suspicious award-winning novelists to bother you good god-fearing capitalistic people. Thanks.

Actually, I'd be happier if you'd just keep the terrorists out of your country so they couldn't get to my country. If you must let them in, at least keep them away from us. Thanks.
posted by Plunge at 3:56 PM on November 12, 2002

That article is from January, 2000, Plunge. I've heard that Canada, along with a number of other western governments, implemented a number of changes to their immigration screening practices about a year ago. If you could find a more current link, I think that would lend more credibility to your position.
posted by cardboard at 5:43 PM on November 12, 2002

Yes, their laws have changed, but the new immigration laws didn't go into effect until 6/27/2002. Anytime before then...
posted by Plunge at 6:12 PM on November 12, 2002

So, out of all the terrorists in North America, what percentage, exactly, do you think are let in by the Canadian immigration system, as compared to the percentage let in by the US immigration system?
posted by mfli at 6:25 PM on November 12, 2002

Percentage? Who knows. But even Canada's own terrorist experts are concerned.

"The full interview with David Harris, former chief of strategic planning for the Canadian Security Intelligence Service.

“We’ve established through our intelligence service and other means that we have 50 terrorist organizations now on our soil…They range in scope from the IRA to Hezbollah, Hamas…[and] certainly al-Qaida,” says Harris, who has “no doubt” some of those terrorists are targeting America."

As well as a plethera of articles citing the poor security at the airports, ports, and other places.

Yes, yes, the US is having problems with their security as well. With that, maybe Canada's annoying little authors should stay at home cocooned in their unctuous, self-righteous indignation.
posted by Plunge at 7:06 PM on November 12, 2002

4. He thinks that nationalism equates to complacency and stupidity

He's absolutely right there.

Yes, yes, the US is having problems with their security as well. With that, maybe Canada's annoying little authors should stay at home cocooned in their unctuous, self-righteous indignation.

Maybe certain annoying little American posters should not blame Canada for complete American security failures.
posted by fold_and_mutilate at 11:29 PM on November 12, 2002

Are you an oxymoron or something?

Half right.

Sorry, couldn't resist.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:45 AM on November 13, 2002

The fact that terrorists skip Canada and immediately run to the United States bent on taking out as many citizens as possible means I shouldn't move to Canada? Man, I'd rather live somewhere that billions of people aren't pissed off at, and for good reason.

Yeah, I've thought about moving to Canada. It's my fall-back country though, in case I'm not blonde enough to get into Sweden.
posted by Hildago at 11:00 AM on November 13, 2002