This girl is, literally, fighting for her life.
September 14, 2000 12:36 PM Subscribe
This girl is, literally, fighting for her life. Her name is Kaycee, she's 18, and she is desperately fighting cancer. And if everyone could put down their mice, stop typing on their keyboards, close up their browsers, and think one good thought for this girl -- and her family -- maybe, hopefully, it would help.
Halcyon's set up a message board for her. If you're so moved, you know what to do...
Halcyon's set up a message board for her. If you're so moved, you know what to do...
If everybody sent her a dollar, it would help even more. Maybe we could start a chain email. She'd die rich, at least-- which is a lot more than we could offer by praying. But, hell, praying's easier, so let's do that.
(Except I won't close my browser, because every time I try to close Netscape, it remains resident in memory and I have to ctrl-alt-del it. Anybody have suggestions?)
posted by fable at 12:46 PM on September 14, 2000
(Except I won't close my browser, because every time I try to close Netscape, it remains resident in memory and I have to ctrl-alt-del it. Anybody have suggestions?)
posted by fable at 12:46 PM on September 14, 2000
If everybody sent her a dollar, it would help even more.
i'm not sure if you're being serious or not, but for what it's worth, her mom has expressly asked people not to send money. they'd rather have any contributions go directly to the american cancer society.
but that doesn't mean that we couldn't set up some sort of paypal account and send tons of flowers!
posted by phooey at 12:54 PM on September 14, 2000
i'm not sure if you're being serious or not, but for what it's worth, her mom has expressly asked people not to send money. they'd rather have any contributions go directly to the american cancer society.
but that doesn't mean that we couldn't set up some sort of paypal account and send tons of flowers!
posted by phooey at 12:54 PM on September 14, 2000
By your definition, skallas, "positive thinking" is sanctimonious crap whether directed at a sick girl or Gaia. So I guess the planet's gonna stay screwed either way, eh?
posted by aaron at 10:17 PM on September 14, 2000
posted by aaron at 10:17 PM on September 14, 2000
I'm going to direct some negative thinking towards skallas and see if that heals the planet. A cricket bat would be more effective, but there you go.
posted by holgate at 5:52 AM on September 15, 2000
posted by holgate at 5:52 AM on September 15, 2000
:: bewildered and sad ::
I don't get it. How can a request for a good thought turn into "santimonious crap?" Whatever happened to "random acts of kindness?" Hell, whatever happened to peace, love, and understanding?
This girl is *real,* you know. Her family is *real.* They are good people. This was not a request to "pass this letter on to 100 people so that little Timmy can get his stomach stapled" or something. It was a real request for a real person. I was saddened, and concerned, and moved, by what she is experiencing and how she is handling it, and I chose to share that with others. I don't consider the Internet to be all hearts, flowers, and "Care Bears," but damnit, it's not all about browser standards and business plans, either.
And, Skallas, how you can consider *any* effort -- however small -- toward helping someone to be "wasted" is beyond me. So let's take it global: when you say "healing the planet," what exactly do you mean?
posted by metrocake at 8:39 AM on September 15, 2000
I don't get it. How can a request for a good thought turn into "santimonious crap?" Whatever happened to "random acts of kindness?" Hell, whatever happened to peace, love, and understanding?
This girl is *real,* you know. Her family is *real.* They are good people. This was not a request to "pass this letter on to 100 people so that little Timmy can get his stomach stapled" or something. It was a real request for a real person. I was saddened, and concerned, and moved, by what she is experiencing and how she is handling it, and I chose to share that with others. I don't consider the Internet to be all hearts, flowers, and "Care Bears," but damnit, it's not all about browser standards and business plans, either.
And, Skallas, how you can consider *any* effort -- however small -- toward helping someone to be "wasted" is beyond me. So let's take it global: when you say "healing the planet," what exactly do you mean?
posted by metrocake at 8:39 AM on September 15, 2000
amen, metro. it's people like skallas that our world needs to be saved *from*
posted by phooey at 11:01 AM on September 15, 2000
posted by phooey at 11:01 AM on September 15, 2000
> Why waste all this wasted psychic potential on
> one person when we could be healing the planet.
Sounds like a crappy excuse for not trying. How do you propose to "heal" a planet of 6 million people when you can't even find it in your heart to do something nice for one.
What am I saying? Not only are you not helping. You're being out-and-out mean! You took time out of your day to write mean things about a beautiful young woman who's fighting for her life.
Skallas, you are a creep!
posted by ratbastard at 12:00 PM on September 15, 2000
> one person when we could be healing the planet.
Sounds like a crappy excuse for not trying. How do you propose to "heal" a planet of 6 million people when you can't even find it in your heart to do something nice for one.
What am I saying? Not only are you not helping. You're being out-and-out mean! You took time out of your day to write mean things about a beautiful young woman who's fighting for her life.
Skallas, you are a creep!
posted by ratbastard at 12:00 PM on September 15, 2000
You took time out of your day to write mean things about a beautiful young woman who's fighting for her life.
Which is ever so much more heinous than taking time out of your day to write about an ugly young woman.
<grin>
posted by cCranium at 12:52 PM on September 15, 2000
Which is ever so much more heinous than taking time out of your day to write about an ugly young woman.
<grin>
posted by cCranium at 12:52 PM on September 15, 2000
I can be as cynical as they come, but I just spent some reading Kaycee's logs. I intended to glance at the site and wound up there for an hour reading. She's a remarkable girl, a very good writer, and she holds nothing back. It's not all doom and gloom - she's quite full of life.
posted by Tubes at 2:08 PM on September 15, 2000
posted by Tubes at 2:08 PM on September 15, 2000
Sorry but I agree with Skallas! I guess I'm an evil, bad person but I don't see the point. Why wait to do these kinda things once someones already dying? Hmmm....makes no sense to me.
Anyway, the girl only lives like 30 mins from me. Interesting.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 9:47 PM on September 15, 2000
Anyway, the girl only lives like 30 mins from me. Interesting.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 9:47 PM on September 15, 2000
Oh and it's so funny how you guys all know her family are GOOD people all of a sudden. Whenever people are dying of something notice how they become good and great people, Funny that.
Sorry, maybe I'm just in a mood but I find these things very annoying.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 9:51 PM on September 15, 2000
Sorry, maybe I'm just in a mood but I find these things very annoying.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 9:51 PM on September 15, 2000
>>>>Why wait to do these kinda things once someones already dying?<<<<<
Hmm...let me see.....could it be because if she wasn't battling cancer we probably wouldn't have heard of her in the first place?? And I hope she doesn't read this thread, since apparently she doesn't know "she's already dying".
>>>>Oh and it's so funny how you guys all know her family are GOOD people all of a sudden. <<<
All? I think one person mentioned it. Good God.
posted by the webmistress at 10:12 PM on September 15, 2000
Hmm...let me see.....could it be because if she wasn't battling cancer we probably wouldn't have heard of her in the first place?? And I hope she doesn't read this thread, since apparently she doesn't know "she's already dying".
>>>>Oh and it's so funny how you guys all know her family are GOOD people all of a sudden. <<<
All? I think one person mentioned it. Good God.
posted by the webmistress at 10:12 PM on September 15, 2000
Exactly! So why are we blabbing about her now? Hmm, I'm sure there are tons of other people battling cancer and I don't see anyone kissing their asses.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 10:33 PM on September 15, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 10:33 PM on September 15, 2000
Oh Skallas! Amen! Couldn't have said it better myself.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 11:14 PM on September 15, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 11:14 PM on September 15, 2000
>>because she can write and knows HTML.<<
Hey, at least for once it's being aimed at someone because she has some talent. Our society usually only bothers to care about the "physically attractive."
posted by aaron at 11:28 PM on September 15, 2000
Get the official t-shirt of the 18-year-old girl dying of cancer?
posted by TimTypeZed at 7:46 AM on September 16, 2000
posted by TimTypeZed at 7:46 AM on September 16, 2000
Wow. I thought I was cruel, but I'm definitely outclassed. How Skallas and FAB4Girl found the time to post in this thread, when they should be out kicking stray dogs and pushing orphans into traffic, is a mystery to me.
posted by rcade at 6:42 PM on September 16, 2000
posted by rcade at 6:42 PM on September 16, 2000
"could it be because if she wasn't battling cancer we probably wouldn't have heard of her in the first place??"
We find out she's dying, and all of a sudden what she's saying *is* worth reading? If it didn't have merit before, why now?
Anyway, I'm off to rob a convenience store.
posted by fable at 8:24 PM on September 16, 2000
We find out she's dying, and all of a sudden what she's saying *is* worth reading? If it didn't have merit before, why now?
Anyway, I'm off to rob a convenience store.
posted by fable at 8:24 PM on September 16, 2000
jesus christ some of you are insensitive fucks. really. what is prompting you to make fun of this person or poo-poo the idea that you should feel for her and want her to get better? Where does that feeling that you shouldn't care, or she's not worth caring about come from? I mean really? How could someone feel that way?
I've been following both the Living Colours blog and the Breast Cancer Journal for a while now, and I find them both to be engaging and enlightening sites worth reading. These people are taking you inside their minds, inside their hospital rooms, letting you know what they're thinking when they're receiving chemo thearapy treatments, and what medical care is like today. I know both of these brave people have touched my life and I'm sure they're helping others cope. You can learn a heck of a lot about breast cancer by reading the Breast Cancer Journal. Karen describes her symptoms in detail and how she deals with them. If my mom or a friend were to say they were diagnosed, I'd point them to these sites and say, "here's what one person's experiences were like, you might encounter these same things."
Before the web, there were a few books written by people diagnosed with illnesses, but now there's lots of sites like this. Heck, Apple computer funded a site called Convomania a few years back that was a community site for children with terminal illnesses. They'd visit the site and join chat rooms, post to discussion boards, and email each other. The site seems to be down now, but it was a great project.
Anyways, I have lost family and friends to all sorts of cancers and I wish I could have known more about what was going on during their illnesses. These blogs do a great service by sharing their experiences and I wholeheartedly wish them both the best and a speedy recovery.
posted by mathowie at 11:11 PM on September 16, 2000
I've been following both the Living Colours blog and the Breast Cancer Journal for a while now, and I find them both to be engaging and enlightening sites worth reading. These people are taking you inside their minds, inside their hospital rooms, letting you know what they're thinking when they're receiving chemo thearapy treatments, and what medical care is like today. I know both of these brave people have touched my life and I'm sure they're helping others cope. You can learn a heck of a lot about breast cancer by reading the Breast Cancer Journal. Karen describes her symptoms in detail and how she deals with them. If my mom or a friend were to say they were diagnosed, I'd point them to these sites and say, "here's what one person's experiences were like, you might encounter these same things."
Before the web, there were a few books written by people diagnosed with illnesses, but now there's lots of sites like this. Heck, Apple computer funded a site called Convomania a few years back that was a community site for children with terminal illnesses. They'd visit the site and join chat rooms, post to discussion boards, and email each other. The site seems to be down now, but it was a great project.
Anyways, I have lost family and friends to all sorts of cancers and I wish I could have known more about what was going on during their illnesses. These blogs do a great service by sharing their experiences and I wholeheartedly wish them both the best and a speedy recovery.
posted by mathowie at 11:11 PM on September 16, 2000
Jesus. I've heard some callous shit in my day but some of you sure take the cake. Can't be bothered to take a moment of your precious time to send a positive thought towards someone you don't know personally? Obviously you haven't bothered to take a moment to actually visit her site and see what she's like. I don't know when I've run across a personal weblog that's more inspiring. Sure adds perspective to my comparatively easy life thus far -- I certainly don't think I'd handle such a battle as valiantly as she has, especially at her age.
I'd also wager to say you've never known anyone close to you who's lived with or died from cancer, or perhaps any other life-threatening disease. If you had, you might appreciate the firsthand perspective a little better, the glimpse into what it's really like for someone who's trying to fight it. These are all assumptions, but how about setting aside your cynicism for ten minutes and reading through some of her posts, or at least thinking about someone else for a change? Or appreciating your health, and life?
No, noone's forcing you to read anything, but if you have to stick your self-important opinion into the matter that you've already dismissed in your own mind, at least temper it with a bit of humanity, for chrissakes.
posted by evixir at 11:15 PM on September 16, 2000
I'd also wager to say you've never known anyone close to you who's lived with or died from cancer, or perhaps any other life-threatening disease. If you had, you might appreciate the firsthand perspective a little better, the glimpse into what it's really like for someone who's trying to fight it. These are all assumptions, but how about setting aside your cynicism for ten minutes and reading through some of her posts, or at least thinking about someone else for a change? Or appreciating your health, and life?
No, noone's forcing you to read anything, but if you have to stick your self-important opinion into the matter that you've already dismissed in your own mind, at least temper it with a bit of humanity, for chrissakes.
posted by evixir at 11:15 PM on September 16, 2000
P.S. Thanks to metrocake for providing the link to Kaycee's mom's blog as well. I've been reading Kaycee's for the past couple of weeks and it's very touching to have her mom's perspective as well, as I've often wondered how her family has been dealing with it all.
posted by evixir at 11:19 PM on September 16, 2000
posted by evixir at 11:19 PM on September 16, 2000
For the cynical in the house, I said "these brave people" because that's exactly what they are. If a doctor told me tomorrow that I had six months to live, I doubt I'd have the courage or spend the energy putting my thoughts out like this. In the face of a grave illness, I'd cower in fear. These people aren't. And I admire them for that.
posted by mathowie at 11:19 PM on September 16, 2000
posted by mathowie at 11:19 PM on September 16, 2000
>>>>We find out she's dying, and all of a sudden what she's saying *is* worth reading? If it didn't have merit before, why now?<<<<<
Because she didn't start the journal until last month!
posted by the webmistress at 11:45 PM on September 16, 2000
Because she didn't start the journal until last month!
posted by the webmistress at 11:45 PM on September 16, 2000
Big virtual hugs to mathowie and evixir for restoring my faith in humanity.
posted by the webmistress at 11:47 PM on September 16, 2000
posted by the webmistress at 11:47 PM on September 16, 2000
I read through her front page, and it is quite moving. I never would have thought to post anything making fun of her, or of the people posting here that are under the impression that thinking positive thoughts will change anything. I winced when I read the "one good thought" part of the post myself, it seems like feel good hippy garbage. I am glad the link was posted, I would have posted it myself if I had found it, I just would have prefaced it with something like "If only we could all face death so bravely" instead of the whole "if we all dance really hard we can turn this thing around". I do hope she can beat this, if she does it will have nothing to do with us. Sympathy is not what I feel, if I were her I would not want sympathy, I do admire her, is that enough? I am grateful for my health everyday, and like to think I am prepared to die. As an atheist, I love my life cause it's all I have, I do not think I'm cynical tho I trust you will tell me if I am. I can't remember being this depressed by a thread before, I hope Kaycee is not reading it.
posted by thirteen at 12:02 AM on September 17, 2000
posted by thirteen at 12:02 AM on September 17, 2000
Well, well, well, someone trys to do something nice for a person... someone tries to share what they've learned from a person willing to share their story with the entire planet. And, you get into a bind over the matter.
Let's get something straight.... Kaycee and her family don't want anybody kissing anything. They are people who like the whole straight story... no holds barred. They are merely, providing themselves with a way to express themselves and maybe perhaps help someone else in the process. And, as it has been said no one is forcing you to read anything... no one is forcing you to respond to anything. But, if you feel like you must... do them all a favor and give something positive along with the negative. Because that is what they need... they know all too well the negative side of life they are struggling and fighting through it everyday. What they need now, what we all need is to look to the positive side of life and to the good things to come.
As always Kaycee, Debbie and the rest of the family you have my energy... support and love.
*Think about it... If roles were reversed and you were in this situation... what would you like people to do? Would this type of negative energy do you or anybody else any good??**
posted by freethinker1 at 12:13 AM on September 17, 2000
Let's get something straight.... Kaycee and her family don't want anybody kissing anything. They are people who like the whole straight story... no holds barred. They are merely, providing themselves with a way to express themselves and maybe perhaps help someone else in the process. And, as it has been said no one is forcing you to read anything... no one is forcing you to respond to anything. But, if you feel like you must... do them all a favor and give something positive along with the negative. Because that is what they need... they know all too well the negative side of life they are struggling and fighting through it everyday. What they need now, what we all need is to look to the positive side of life and to the good things to come.
As always Kaycee, Debbie and the rest of the family you have my energy... support and love.
*Think about it... If roles were reversed and you were in this situation... what would you like people to do? Would this type of negative energy do you or anybody else any good??**
posted by freethinker1 at 12:13 AM on September 17, 2000
Ever heard of:
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. ~Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a weary world.
~William Shakespeare
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ~Leo Buscaglia
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. ~Mother Teresa
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
~anonymous
Geez, I'd like to change the world too...but I can start by doing being kind and compassionate to EVERYONE in need. Obviously you nay-sayers are too closed-minded to see the sense of incredible optimism of Kaycee's that shines through in her writing, and the amazing sense of generosity and forgiveness that her parents have, and that Kaycee has inherited. Perhaps you didn't even know that Debbie has read your callous remarks and replied in her blog. "Do unto others as they would unto you.." Words cannot express my disgust for you two, skallas and FAB4GIRL...
posted by LeafQueen at 5:24 AM on September 17, 2000
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. ~Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a weary world.
~William Shakespeare
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ~Leo Buscaglia
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. ~Mother Teresa
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
~anonymous
Geez, I'd like to change the world too...but I can start by doing being kind and compassionate to EVERYONE in need. Obviously you nay-sayers are too closed-minded to see the sense of incredible optimism of Kaycee's that shines through in her writing, and the amazing sense of generosity and forgiveness that her parents have, and that Kaycee has inherited. Perhaps you didn't even know that Debbie has read your callous remarks and replied in her blog. "Do unto others as they would unto you.." Words cannot express my disgust for you two, skallas and FAB4GIRL...
posted by LeafQueen at 5:24 AM on September 17, 2000
It is nice to see people still believe in the sharing of simple human kindness, despite the grossly insensitive words of two pitiful people.
I am the fellow who has donated space on my web server and helped both Kaycee and Debbie design and build their blogs. They are my family, though we are not blood relations. I know them intimately. I love them... deeply, purely and simply.
I've been following all links to their sites from my referrer logs. I was pleased to see the post by metrocake. I was angry when I read the cold and cynical comments of skallas and fab4girl. I admire everyone above whom have made excellent points in their defense of metrocake's post.
These blogs were started as a way for Kaycee and Debbie to vent and share their feelings about what they were dealing with. A way to excise the dark thoughts from their souls. A way to express their zeal for life. But make no mistake, it was for them. First and foremost.
My intentions were and are simple. I believe the more positive input Kaycee receives, the better chance she has to survive and live. Whether the encouragement, support , prayers, what have you, come from family, friends, or complete strangers is irrelevant. What matters is that people care enough about another human being to take a moment to uplift her.
Those who make unkind remarks clearly have little or no grasp on the value of life. I seriously doubt they understand the nature of cancer and what it can do. They've likely never watched someone they love (if they are even capable of that emotion) take his last breath and die right in front of them.
I have. And I'll be damned if I will allow any kind of idiotic crap poison the heart, soul and mind of a beautiful young woman who has more than amply demonstrated a quality which her detractors sorely lack: humanity.
One thing you may not realise is that Kaycee's and Debbie's willingness to share has had a serendipitous reverse effect. Many people have been positively affected to make changes in their attitudes about life simply by virtue of contact with Kaycee and Debbie via their words. That is a powerful testimony to their courage.
I don't think of Kaycee as dying. I think of her as living. I don't think of her and her mother as victims. I think of them as victors. Someone above made a snide remark about Kaycee's t-shirt. If you don't understand wanting to be a part of an effort greater than yourself, then you must be a very lonely person indeed. I feel sorry for you.
And to those whose first impulse is to react to a call for kindness with cynical, vile, and reprehensible remarks, I suggest you pay a visit to the closest pediatric cancer ward to you. I challenge you to spend a day with those children. You will then realise the depth of their bravery, and in turn, the lowliness of your own cowardice.
posted by bwg at 6:34 AM on September 17, 2000 [1 favorite]
I am the fellow who has donated space on my web server and helped both Kaycee and Debbie design and build their blogs. They are my family, though we are not blood relations. I know them intimately. I love them... deeply, purely and simply.
I've been following all links to their sites from my referrer logs. I was pleased to see the post by metrocake. I was angry when I read the cold and cynical comments of skallas and fab4girl. I admire everyone above whom have made excellent points in their defense of metrocake's post.
These blogs were started as a way for Kaycee and Debbie to vent and share their feelings about what they were dealing with. A way to excise the dark thoughts from their souls. A way to express their zeal for life. But make no mistake, it was for them. First and foremost.
My intentions were and are simple. I believe the more positive input Kaycee receives, the better chance she has to survive and live. Whether the encouragement, support , prayers, what have you, come from family, friends, or complete strangers is irrelevant. What matters is that people care enough about another human being to take a moment to uplift her.
Those who make unkind remarks clearly have little or no grasp on the value of life. I seriously doubt they understand the nature of cancer and what it can do. They've likely never watched someone they love (if they are even capable of that emotion) take his last breath and die right in front of them.
I have. And I'll be damned if I will allow any kind of idiotic crap poison the heart, soul and mind of a beautiful young woman who has more than amply demonstrated a quality which her detractors sorely lack: humanity.
One thing you may not realise is that Kaycee's and Debbie's willingness to share has had a serendipitous reverse effect. Many people have been positively affected to make changes in their attitudes about life simply by virtue of contact with Kaycee and Debbie via their words. That is a powerful testimony to their courage.
I don't think of Kaycee as dying. I think of her as living. I don't think of her and her mother as victims. I think of them as victors. Someone above made a snide remark about Kaycee's t-shirt. If you don't understand wanting to be a part of an effort greater than yourself, then you must be a very lonely person indeed. I feel sorry for you.
And to those whose first impulse is to react to a call for kindness with cynical, vile, and reprehensible remarks, I suggest you pay a visit to the closest pediatric cancer ward to you. I challenge you to spend a day with those children. You will then realise the depth of their bravery, and in turn, the lowliness of your own cowardice.
posted by bwg at 6:34 AM on September 17, 2000 [1 favorite]
I don't believe this is still going on.
I really don't have much more to say -- most of what I would say has already been said, both by myself and by those far more eloquent than I.
I will say this: I run a web site for a non-profit healthcare organization. I am privileged to see, firsthand, the power of the Internet both in sharing information and in sharing *experiences,* things that will give support, or motivation, or inspiration, to others. It *does* help.
BWG, thank you for your response *and* for giving Kaycee and Debbie help and blog space to begin with!
posted by metrocake at 8:36 AM on September 17, 2000
I really don't have much more to say -- most of what I would say has already been said, both by myself and by those far more eloquent than I.
I will say this: I run a web site for a non-profit healthcare organization. I am privileged to see, firsthand, the power of the Internet both in sharing information and in sharing *experiences,* things that will give support, or motivation, or inspiration, to others. It *does* help.
BWG, thank you for your response *and* for giving Kaycee and Debbie help and blog space to begin with!
posted by metrocake at 8:36 AM on September 17, 2000
FABLE! SKALLAS! Let's go kick some stray dogs! ;-)
posted by FAB4GIRL at 8:49 AM on September 17, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 8:49 AM on September 17, 2000
From yesterday's Living Colors...
"I guess to change the course of history we all have to start with ourselves. It seems some people just haven’t got the big picture yet. I feel rather sorry for them."
-Kaycee Nicole, 09/16/00.
So do I, Kaycee.
posted by ratbastard at 10:08 AM on September 17, 2000
"I guess to change the course of history we all have to start with ourselves. It seems some people just haven’t got the big picture yet. I feel rather sorry for them."
-Kaycee Nicole, 09/16/00.
So do I, Kaycee.
posted by ratbastard at 10:08 AM on September 17, 2000
And a personal favourite, courtesy of John Donne:
No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.
posted by holgate at 10:35 AM on September 17, 2000 [1 favorite]
No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.
posted by holgate at 10:35 AM on September 17, 2000 [1 favorite]
Sorry, maybe I'm just in a mood but I find these things very annoying.
What kind of things are those? Interesting blogs written by interesting people, regardless of what the content is? Or did you think this was some sort of sympathy ploy? If you'd even read .:living colours:. or journey toward the rainbow, you'd know that sympathy is the last think Kaycee and her mom are seeking.
So why are we blabbing about her now? Hmm, I'm sure there are tons of other people battling cancer and I don't see anyone kissing their asses.
Ah, is it all the attention that she's getting that's annoying to you? She may not be any more deserving of attention and compassion than any other person fighting cancer, but she's also no less deserving, so why do you find it necessary to try and belittle her and her efforts?
I'm glad we can agree that she's the one to (no one wants to say the word) *pray* for, out of potential millions, because she can write and knows HTML.
As far as I know, Kaycee doesn't know HTML, but she can write. As bwg posted above, he hosts her and her mother's blogs on his own site. He also did their site design. And, if you'd bothered to read Kaycee's blog, you'd know that there is a time-consuming process they go through to get her entries posted, because she doesn't even have access to a computer right now. Still, none of that makes her the one to *pray* for. What does make .:living colours:. special is that we're getting to hear one voice out of those potential millions. We're getting a rare glimpse into the other side of a battle against cancer, from the patient and from a close relative.
Not everyone in this world can speak out about such intimate details of their lives (so eloquently or otherwise), but there's no reason to bash any of them if they do.
posted by phichens at 11:57 AM on September 17, 2000
What kind of things are those? Interesting blogs written by interesting people, regardless of what the content is? Or did you think this was some sort of sympathy ploy? If you'd even read .:living colours:. or journey toward the rainbow, you'd know that sympathy is the last think Kaycee and her mom are seeking.
So why are we blabbing about her now? Hmm, I'm sure there are tons of other people battling cancer and I don't see anyone kissing their asses.
Ah, is it all the attention that she's getting that's annoying to you? She may not be any more deserving of attention and compassion than any other person fighting cancer, but she's also no less deserving, so why do you find it necessary to try and belittle her and her efforts?
I'm glad we can agree that she's the one to (no one wants to say the word) *pray* for, out of potential millions, because she can write and knows HTML.
As far as I know, Kaycee doesn't know HTML, but she can write. As bwg posted above, he hosts her and her mother's blogs on his own site. He also did their site design. And, if you'd bothered to read Kaycee's blog, you'd know that there is a time-consuming process they go through to get her entries posted, because she doesn't even have access to a computer right now. Still, none of that makes her the one to *pray* for. What does make .:living colours:. special is that we're getting to hear one voice out of those potential millions. We're getting a rare glimpse into the other side of a battle against cancer, from the patient and from a close relative.
Not everyone in this world can speak out about such intimate details of their lives (so eloquently or otherwise), but there's no reason to bash any of them if they do.
posted by phichens at 11:57 AM on September 17, 2000
Just to let you know, I have read her weblog, so don't assume cause then you make an ass out of u and me. Ho ho! :-)
posted by FAB4GIRL at 1:20 PM on September 17, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 1:20 PM on September 17, 2000
FAB4GIRL I pray for you because you obviously show that you don't have any compassion. Now I am not here to start any verbal battles here but if you only knew if you only knew maybe you would understand. You refuse to open yourself to anything is being said and your lack of compassion and immaturity shows that you don't want to care. Kaycee is beautiful and phenomenal young lady along with her mother and God will bless her for her heart and faith. If you sadly keep your attitude you will *not* be blessed. I pray for you and your heart.
posted by kanika5 at 2:53 PM on September 17, 2000
posted by kanika5 at 2:53 PM on September 17, 2000
Just to let you know, I have read her weblog, so don't assume cause then you make an ass out of u and me. Ho ho! :-)
My bad. You certainly don't need my help to make an ass out of yourself.
posted by phichens at 3:18 PM on September 17, 2000
My bad. You certainly don't need my help to make an ass out of yourself.
posted by phichens at 3:18 PM on September 17, 2000
LOL! You people are sickening! Please take your god and shove it! :-)
posted by FAB4GIRL at 3:48 PM on September 17, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 3:48 PM on September 17, 2000
Oh and please don't pray for me you jesus freak! :-) ROFLMAO! this is fun!
posted by FAB4GIRL at 3:49 PM on September 17, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 3:49 PM on September 17, 2000
Fab4girl: make one more dumbass crack and you're banned from Metafilter. For life. For real.
I didn't build this place so it could be filled with people spouting vile, disgusting shit like you're doing here.
One more, and you're out.
posted by mathowie at 4:06 PM on September 17, 2000
I didn't build this place so it could be filled with people spouting vile, disgusting shit like you're doing here.
One more, and you're out.
posted by mathowie at 4:06 PM on September 17, 2000
How is what I said disgusting? Just thought I'd ask.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 4:22 PM on September 17, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 4:22 PM on September 17, 2000
Also if people don't like what I say can't they just ignore me instead of making nasty comments back? I am entitled to my own opinion and I only said those things because I'd been getting emails from people acting as if they know god and they need to pray for me because I won't kiss ass. That is disgusting. Sorry, but if I will get banned for not agreeing with you all then fine. God must be on your side. Pray for me please.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 4:30 PM on September 17, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 4:30 PM on September 17, 2000
Don't know what disgusting means? Maybe you should look it up
I think everyone but you and skallas can agree that everything you've contributed to this thread is disgusting. I'm not going to drag this out any longer.
This isn't about god or praying (I'm an atheist too, but I care about people), this is about compassion and empathy. You obviously have none, and you feel that it's important that you voice that opinion here. And I'm just saying I'm tired of ignoring you. All I do is ignore you, I've yet to see you contribute anything I haven't had to ignore, and I'm just tired of it.
I don't read slashdot because it's exhausting to go around all the garbage. I'm not going to let it happen here, if someone's posting lame stuff, they're out.
posted by mathowie at 4:33 PM on September 17, 2000
I think everyone but you and skallas can agree that everything you've contributed to this thread is disgusting. I'm not going to drag this out any longer.
This isn't about god or praying (I'm an atheist too, but I care about people), this is about compassion and empathy. You obviously have none, and you feel that it's important that you voice that opinion here. And I'm just saying I'm tired of ignoring you. All I do is ignore you, I've yet to see you contribute anything I haven't had to ignore, and I'm just tired of it.
I don't read slashdot because it's exhausting to go around all the garbage. I'm not going to let it happen here, if someone's posting lame stuff, they're out.
posted by mathowie at 4:33 PM on September 17, 2000
I've posted here before, been visiting for awhile because someone I know posts here, and you're saying you ignored that too? Well, aren't you friendly. Also I know what disgusting means, and I disagree that what I said was anywhere close to disgusting. Some of the time I was being a smart ass because I couldn't believe the things people were saying. I know you say this isn't about god but I think kanika brought him into , esp in the email I received. I won't say anymore on the subject but just get off my back. If anyone else personally insults me then I will speak up.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 4:43 PM on September 17, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 4:43 PM on September 17, 2000
"Oh and it's so funny how you guys all know her family are GOOD people all of a sudden. Whenever people are dying of something notice how they become good and great people, Funny that."
Why would there be any reason to assume otherwise? Why would you suggest they are bad people? I think it's clear, by reading their sites, that they wish no-one harm, aren't criminals, have done no great wrong... they haven't become good people all of a sudden. They've always been that way.
"So why are we blabbing about her now?"
Because there's not much point rallying around someone who's well? It's a very trite question, and a very trite answer. We've only just come into contact with her... and contact is what this entire argument is about...
"I'm sure there are tons of other people battling cancer and I don't see anyone kissing their asses."... "I'm glad we can agree that she's the one ... because she can write and knows HTML."
This an issue of contact. People don't make associations with others unless there is some point of contact. While the metafilter readers don't, in general, have contact with starving children in Africa, or radiation poisoned orhpans in Russia, they do have contact with a girl, dying of cancer. The point of contact is made, and they respond with goodwill because they can associate with her; she's part of the community.
There's no reason to shit on that. None at all.
And if you opened your eyes a little, you'd probably see that no asses are being kissed. In fact, people in this community are taking care of the people who have touched us, far beyond this girl. There is more than one person in the weblog community battelling illness, in themselves or within their family.
When a community establishes itself, connections are made. Not everyone has those connections to each other... but there's nothing preventing you from making them. There's nothing preventing you from reaching further than this community. I guess, though, you have to be a special kind of person to do that.
"I am entitled to my own opinion and I only said those things because I'd been getting emails from people acting as if they know god and they need to pray for me because I won't kiss ass."
Well, that sounds petty and childish. That's my opinion. I'm entitled to it. The thing about opinions is, everyone has 'em. The smartest manage to keep them to themselves. It's the loud, obnoxious fucks (like me) you spout their opinion to everone else. Usually they believe the more offensive their opinion is, the more attention they'll attract. It usually works.
"If anyone else personally insults me then I will speak up."
Sure, you do that. But find a suitable forum. A thread about a kid with cancer is not the wisest place to be crude and offensive to others, and then act smart about it.
Why do you think this is the right time to be cynical, and abusive, and offensive? Common-sense should prevent that type of thing.
Don't pretend you don't know why you're getting hassled. You flamed a kid with cancer, and the people who are making an effort, in their own small way, to help her. It's a pretty vindictive, awful thing to do. You didn't have to do it. You did, though, and you're reaping the rewards. Too bad if you don't like it. Tough shit, in fact.
I've watched someone I love die of cancer. It's not pretty. It's horrible. Especially when there's nothing you can do about it but wait and watch. Two weeks ago another family member of mine died in hospital. My wife is devestated. It was worse, for her, because she never got so say good-bye; a chance I got to have.
Have you ever had someone you love die? If you have, then think back to how you felt, or how you probably still feel, and ask yourself if you'd appreciate someone saying the things your saying back at you? And if you haven't, I hope that, when it inevitably does happen, you think back to this and feel nothing but shame.
I, for one, hope Matt bans you from posting again. This isn't a forum for free speech, or for defending yourself against personal attacks; your offensive posts should never have happened in the first place. This is a forum for discussion, intelligent discussion. You obviously cannot contribute in that capacity, so I say...fuck off.
posted by Neale at 5:37 PM on September 17, 2000
Why would there be any reason to assume otherwise? Why would you suggest they are bad people? I think it's clear, by reading their sites, that they wish no-one harm, aren't criminals, have done no great wrong... they haven't become good people all of a sudden. They've always been that way.
"So why are we blabbing about her now?"
Because there's not much point rallying around someone who's well? It's a very trite question, and a very trite answer. We've only just come into contact with her... and contact is what this entire argument is about...
"I'm sure there are tons of other people battling cancer and I don't see anyone kissing their asses."... "I'm glad we can agree that she's the one ... because she can write and knows HTML."
This an issue of contact. People don't make associations with others unless there is some point of contact. While the metafilter readers don't, in general, have contact with starving children in Africa, or radiation poisoned orhpans in Russia, they do have contact with a girl, dying of cancer. The point of contact is made, and they respond with goodwill because they can associate with her; she's part of the community.
There's no reason to shit on that. None at all.
And if you opened your eyes a little, you'd probably see that no asses are being kissed. In fact, people in this community are taking care of the people who have touched us, far beyond this girl. There is more than one person in the weblog community battelling illness, in themselves or within their family.
When a community establishes itself, connections are made. Not everyone has those connections to each other... but there's nothing preventing you from making them. There's nothing preventing you from reaching further than this community. I guess, though, you have to be a special kind of person to do that.
"I am entitled to my own opinion and I only said those things because I'd been getting emails from people acting as if they know god and they need to pray for me because I won't kiss ass."
Well, that sounds petty and childish. That's my opinion. I'm entitled to it. The thing about opinions is, everyone has 'em. The smartest manage to keep them to themselves. It's the loud, obnoxious fucks (like me) you spout their opinion to everone else. Usually they believe the more offensive their opinion is, the more attention they'll attract. It usually works.
"If anyone else personally insults me then I will speak up."
Sure, you do that. But find a suitable forum. A thread about a kid with cancer is not the wisest place to be crude and offensive to others, and then act smart about it.
Why do you think this is the right time to be cynical, and abusive, and offensive? Common-sense should prevent that type of thing.
Don't pretend you don't know why you're getting hassled. You flamed a kid with cancer, and the people who are making an effort, in their own small way, to help her. It's a pretty vindictive, awful thing to do. You didn't have to do it. You did, though, and you're reaping the rewards. Too bad if you don't like it. Tough shit, in fact.
I've watched someone I love die of cancer. It's not pretty. It's horrible. Especially when there's nothing you can do about it but wait and watch. Two weeks ago another family member of mine died in hospital. My wife is devestated. It was worse, for her, because she never got so say good-bye; a chance I got to have.
Have you ever had someone you love die? If you have, then think back to how you felt, or how you probably still feel, and ask yourself if you'd appreciate someone saying the things your saying back at you? And if you haven't, I hope that, when it inevitably does happen, you think back to this and feel nothing but shame.
I, for one, hope Matt bans you from posting again. This isn't a forum for free speech, or for defending yourself against personal attacks; your offensive posts should never have happened in the first place. This is a forum for discussion, intelligent discussion. You obviously cannot contribute in that capacity, so I say...fuck off.
posted by Neale at 5:37 PM on September 17, 2000
reading, ignorant child, is NOT the same as comprehending.
posted by LeafQueen at 5:48 PM on September 17, 2000
posted by LeafQueen at 5:48 PM on September 17, 2000
HOW DID I FLAME A KID WITH CANCER? HOW? I would never EVER do that. I would NEVER send her email flaming her personally!!!! So don't EVEN say I did.
I also never used foul language like your compassionate self. So lay off and I'll shut up. Geez!
posted by FAB4GIRL at 5:51 PM on September 17, 2000
I also never used foul language like your compassionate self. So lay off and I'll shut up. Geez!
posted by FAB4GIRL at 5:51 PM on September 17, 2000
"HOW DID I FLAME A KID WITH CANCER? HOW? I would never EVER do that. "
"Whenever people are dying of something notice how they become good and great people, Funny that."
"I'm sure there are tons of other people battling cancer and I don't see anyone kissing their asses. "
You belittled her condition, implied that she wasn't a nice person, and implied she expected people to kiss her arse. Whether you meant them that way or not, that was certainly the implied meaning. And I'd say they were flames.
"I also never used foul language like your compassionate self. "
compare with
"kissing their asses", "an ass out of u and me", "take your god and shove it!"
"So lay off and I'll shut up."
Why don't you shut up, and we'll lay off?
This is why I hate trolls... they take a perfectly innocent situation and put a negative spin on it. Now, instead of focusing on Kaycee, we're focusing on a pointless argument that's going to go nowhere.
posted by Neale at 6:08 PM on September 17, 2000
"Whenever people are dying of something notice how they become good and great people, Funny that."
"I'm sure there are tons of other people battling cancer and I don't see anyone kissing their asses. "
You belittled her condition, implied that she wasn't a nice person, and implied she expected people to kiss her arse. Whether you meant them that way or not, that was certainly the implied meaning. And I'd say they were flames.
"I also never used foul language like your compassionate self. "
compare with
"kissing their asses", "an ass out of u and me", "take your god and shove it!"
"So lay off and I'll shut up."
Why don't you shut up, and we'll lay off?
This is why I hate trolls... they take a perfectly innocent situation and put a negative spin on it. Now, instead of focusing on Kaycee, we're focusing on a pointless argument that's going to go nowhere.
posted by Neale at 6:08 PM on September 17, 2000
I'm not a troll. I've been posting here for sometime. I don't post a lot but I post and nothing I said has ever caused an argument. This is a first for me. I wouldn't waste my time going from message board to message board trying to piss people off. I did this time though, not intentionally, but I did. Anyway, this is all I'm gonna say. Sorry to Kaycee if she reads all this. I am in no way meaning to run you down or belittle your condition.
posted by FAB4GIRL at 6:12 PM on September 17, 2000
posted by FAB4GIRL at 6:12 PM on September 17, 2000
why don't we all just let this settle and get back to metrocake's original idea... read kaycee's website, read debbie's website, and if so moved, send a note to them and let her know you are thinking about them, that you support them, and yes, if you believe in God, pray for them.
i'm weary of all this other stuff.
posted by bwg at 10:29 PM on September 17, 2000
i'm weary of all this other stuff.
posted by bwg at 10:29 PM on September 17, 2000
a WHILE back in this pathetic thread, FAB4GIRL, you mentioned you only live 30 miles from kaycee. so go pay your respects, sarah. go visit.
put down the mouse. go meet the human being.
you might find you're not so damned caustic when you're done.
posted by daddyray at 10:50 PM on September 17, 2000
put down the mouse. go meet the human being.
you might find you're not so damned caustic when you're done.
posted by daddyray at 10:50 PM on September 17, 2000
Ok... Time for me to put my two cents worth in... I refuse to get into the *hissy fit* created before me... I will only say this... I have met Kaycee online thru CitizenX and personally know bwg and daddyray and several other folks she calls friends... She in NO way wants or has asked for sympathy.. hence the request for no *pretty words* made by her... She only wanted to share with everyone her thoughts and plans for her life... IF I am not mistaken, she began the journal or at least was talking about it, prior to finding out she had come out of remission... She only wanted to do what so many of us do... Blog... She wanted to share her views on things... then the cancer and following treatment came up... And as far as I am concerned she bravely has decided to share all of that with us too... THAT is courage... To share those most intimate thoughts on something like this with the world at large... And kudos to her mom too... She also has decided to share those intimate feelings with us all... They hold nothing back... NOTHING.. how many of us bloggers can say the same thing??? We are all too scared that someone we know might read what we write so we tend to gloss over the *real* emotions... I want only one thing out of all this... That Kaycee will see how much we all care and that by seeing that, no matter what her outcome is, that she will smile... So yes... I will pray for her... In my own way... It has NOTHING to do with *God*... Praying is what it is to the individual... As I think Halcyon might put it... Send the *love vibes*... ::Sending the vibes::
posted by AttitudeChick at 10:23 PM on September 18, 2000
posted by AttitudeChick at 10:23 PM on September 18, 2000
Feb 02 | It's strange to find this after the whole thing is over, to stumble across this thread through an obscure cross-reference. (How did I get here? I've forgotten.) Kaycee Nicole was an incredible, wrenching hoax and this, the very beginning on MeFi of the entire affair, turned into an angry, spitting snake of a thread.
And notice, as well, the date of the post. You could almost count it down. In fact, here's one year later.
posted by Dean King at 9:48 PM on February 27, 2002
And notice, as well, the date of the post. You could almost count it down. In fact, here's one year later.
posted by Dean King at 9:48 PM on February 27, 2002
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by aaron at 12:45 PM on September 14, 2000