She Hates Music.

January 18, 2001 10:07 AM

She Hates Music. All music. A cranky Brit named Tanya Headon (hey, I dunno) frags everything you might like (well, mostly rock). Professional crank or insightful satirist?
posted by Skot (28 comments total)

Here's one of my favorites from her archives:

STEREOLAB
ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba socialism ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba


posted by Skot at 10:08 AM on January 18, 2001

She's breaking the cardinal rule of comedy:

One must have a sense of humor in order to be funny.
posted by solistrato at 10:14 AM on January 18, 2001

If she hates music so much it must absolutely drive her mad to listen to it enough to have any information on it so she can make her amusing quips.
posted by Princess Buttercup at 10:20 AM on January 18, 2001

Or you could say... you must have a sense of humour to be able to laugh. Tanya's a must read.
posted by prolific at 10:22 AM on January 18, 2001

Wow....I think I'm in love.
posted by Optamystic at 10:27 AM on January 18, 2001

I was trying to find a link somewhere to what she actually liked, but then I saw the "I hate music, all of it" statement.

I'm afraid that rendered the whole exercise pointless. Criticism is about contrast--what is bad and what is good. She ceased to be interesting once I realized that she really does (or claims to) hate all music.
posted by frykitty at 10:40 AM on January 18, 2001

Her reviews are at least as interesting as those that get churned out for Rolling Stone, Inc. these days. So she's a little predicitable...she's also pretty funny.

Similar (but much flashier) site pertaining to film:

Mr. Cranky
posted by Optamystic at 10:51 AM on January 18, 2001

I guess I don't understand the point. I suppose that if you want to insult and criticize everything in sight, be it music or something else, that's your prerogative. It just seems to me that if you never elude to liking anything, your criticisms lose meaning.

BTW why is she still talking about nirvana? (I'm guessing 'Endless Nameless' refers to the subject matter not the song itself...)
posted by srw12 at 11:10 AM on January 18, 2001

I also chuckled at her article Why I Hate Indie Kids.

Her insight into these areas only indicate to me that she's been down that long Indie road (and back) herself. Now, she's moved on and she's disgusted by it. She's "earned" the right to make fun of it all because she's been there herself. Just speculation.
posted by JAcrimonaut at 11:23 AM on January 18, 2001

Well, I sort of alluded to my opinion in the post . . . I consider her stuff to be satire mixed in with genuine criticism (of both music and criticism itself). I mean, I have a hard time believing she really hates everything; first of all, why put yourself through it, second of all, she's too good at it.

What's vicious fun for me, in a perverse way, is watching her pick apart stuff I actually like and seeing if she's making any valid points. She usually does.

Not that y'all have to like it, but I think some folks are missing the joke.
posted by Skot at 11:23 AM on January 18, 2001

Skot -- I totally agree. She's obviously spent a great deal of time listening to this stuff. She knows the roots, influences, what's considered "cool" in indie media. The name of the site, "I Hate Music", is a joke within itself. It makes fun of that indie-rock attitude, in which everything sucks outside of the predefined sphere of hipness. I think she's been around this attitude so much by now, she just feels like dissecting it.
posted by JAcrimonaut at 11:57 AM on January 18, 2001

yo, listen, it's all in good fun. it's not meant to be a serious criticism site, it's meant to be funny. and damnit, it is - i love the one about suede, and the one about rem's "stand" is classic.
posted by kate sloane at 12:27 PM on January 18, 2001

I guess I don't understand the point

It's a joke, of course. She's being ironic. Kinda like SurvivorSucks.com (Survivor II starts in just ten days!).

I see she hasn't hated U2, TMBG, Ben Folds Five, Paul Hindemith, or Kronos Quartet yet. Obviously she knows what's good.
posted by daveadams at 12:55 PM on January 18, 2001

<off-topic distance="really far" pedantry="high">
[kate_sloane] damnit

Not to pick on you, Kate, but I see this a LOT here and in other forums. While the root is spelled "damn," the proper reduction of "damn it" can only be "dammit." That's two 'm's, not an 'm' and an 'n'. Thank you.
</off-topic>
posted by daveadams at 1:00 PM on January 18, 2001

I've been to that site before. at first, I was sorta crestfallen that I saw radiohead in the archives of music that she hated, but I decided that yes, it must all be in good fun. a joke. sometimes even I have one of my days where I can't take a certain genre of or even all music music or whatever even if I used to like it.

anyway, I wouldn't take it personally. I almost forgot about that site. I'll have to see what's on the list now...haha
posted by aekastar at 2:44 PM on January 18, 2001

Hey, daveadams? I think she heard you. (And I love these guys too :)

Thursday, January 18, 2001
AN UNACCOUNTABLE OMISSION

Readers, I have failed you. I have done my best over the last several months to expose the very worst in music and warn you all from ever wasting your time, money or breath on it. But I have left a group out . . . (edit edit edit) . . .

I am of course talking about Ben Folds Five.
posted by Skot at 2:51 PM on January 18, 2001

She's writing in a grand tradition of British screed. (It's the flip side of a true affection, as others have said. Love and hate are alike in their caring.)

More power to her typing fingers.
posted by holgate at 3:18 PM on January 18, 2001

Uhmm... so what does she listen to on long car rides?
posted by littleyellowdifferent at 3:49 PM on January 18, 2001

radio static. actually quite good for long drives, you know, littleyellowdifferent. you should try it sometime!
posted by maura at 3:53 PM on January 18, 2001

daveadams: she does hate TMBG. She mentioned them as turning out 'piss-weak copies of other people's songs on their ukeleles' or something to that effect.
posted by darukaru at 6:56 PM on January 18, 2001

Just so that you know, the precise inverse of this site can be found here:
The war against silence.
Since I would rather think about music criticism than laugh at it, I prefer Glenn's column.
posted by davidgentle at 7:46 PM on January 18, 2001

I'm torn between joy that someone else posted that link to TWAS and disappointment that I didn't get to. Sometimes Glenn is only peripherally on about music, but I always find him worth reading.
posted by kindall at 9:33 PM on January 18, 2001

I think the point I'd like to make about Tanya's page (well obviously, being her editor) is that it's part of a larger music site. Is it serious? That would be telling - but it's not meant to be read on its own. And yes, TWAS - which provides big laughs as well as deep thought if you ask me - is fine. In fact there's a whole hidden subculture of intelligent music criticism and it's nice to see it getting some play from the 'wider community'. I'd point interested parties especially to Tangents, Josh Kortbein's page and In Review.
posted by freakytrigger at 12:19 AM on January 19, 2001

I think Tanya is one of the best writers on the net. Only wish there was more of it.

Strip away the fun and the satire and you have some supremely good writing there, it's a joy to read. The woman is talented, no doubt.

Needs to find a publisher, if she hasn't already.
posted by lucien at 1:30 AM on January 19, 2001

Incidentally, davidgentle and kindall, I [heart] TWAS as well and have had it bookmarked since roughly around the same time as I Hate Music. They make a great sweet 'n sour sauce.
posted by Skot at 8:33 AM on January 19, 2001

Well, BFF and TMBG have been mentioned right after my question, so she's obviously listening. But why no U2 yet? They're the easiest of the bunch, surely. :)
posted by daveadams at 11:00 AM on January 19, 2001

Ow, that thing about Ben Folds was harsh. And completely wrong. And funny as hell...
posted by kindall at 3:06 PM on January 19, 2001

Another <heart> for TWAS. What a gift. Narrow, self-absorbed, and sometimes so wrong-headed I can't believe it, but not many people will actually sit down and examine their reactions to music, as opposed to just taking a position. Plus he like Runrig. Glenn is up there with Jack Rabid for me, only, unlike Jack, he shuts up sometimes.
posted by rodii at 4:23 PM on January 19, 2001