Hey, you have the internet—why don't you solve this nuclear crisis?

March 19, 2011 6:02 AM

In what can only be described as gallingly idiotic, the until now decent website Slate invites Joe Sixpack and Sally Hotcake to submit their ideas on how to solve Japan's nuclear crisis.

The whole mess is described thusly:


Japan is running out of options at the Fukushima Daiichi plant, as engineers try to lower the temperature of spent fuel rods and control the crisis. Even if you don’t have a Ph.D. in nuclear physics, Slate wants your ideas, however simple or complex, on how to avert disaster at the plant. (Though please let us know if you do have a Ph.D. in nuclear physics!) We’ll run the most popular answers by a panel of nuclear experts, so be sure to vote and comment on others’ ideas along with submitting your own. Voting ends March 22.

Current submissions include robots, ice blocks and this considered piece of advice: "Cant we get a fire ship off the coast to get water onto these reactors????"

This may very well be the 'how is babby formed' of our generation. I like how they sort of desperately want to avoid doing their own research and hope that all these ideal nuclear physics experts just stumble by the website.

This is not a field where a layman can validly contribute. I can only anticipate a followup question from Slate: "The situation in OR 4 is dire! Even if you're not a MD, Slate wants your ideas on how to solve this myocardial infarction. We'll put the best answers down a toilet!"

To be fair this still may be revealed to be a monumentally tacky joke. I think that would actually be the best outcome.

posted by oxford blue (17 comments total)

"Cant we get a fire ship off the coast to get water onto these reactors????"

I'm certain this is being considered. They are doing this with fire trucks right now.

I do think that anyone can come up with an idea of how to get water into those cooling pools.

Everyone is asking why there aren't robotic devices of some kind that can do this.

There does seem to be a distinct lack of imagination on how to get water into those cooling pools by those responsible.
posted by Ironmouth at 6:05 AM on March 19, 2011

I say we equip Ann Coulter with the accoutrements of a char-woman and lower her into the reactor since she believes radiation is healthy. Sally Hot-cake indeed.
posted by fleetmouse at 6:09 AM on March 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Can't they just eject the reactor core and evacuate everybody into the saucer section?
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:18 AM on March 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

This article on Slate is the worst thing that has ever happened to humans in the history of living beings.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:19 AM on March 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm not so against the idea of asking the ignorant masses for new ideas, but this does seem to miss the heart of the problem: "Remove the fuel rods from the storage pools. Do the obvious -- Get the fuel rods out of the equation".
posted by TheShadowKnows at 6:20 AM on March 19, 2011

Let the air out of the tires? Mold the taco shell to have a flat bottom?

I think the issue is important enough that we can condescend to solicit the imagination of the peanut gallery. It was, after all, the experts and not Mr Sixpack or Ms Cupcake who desigened the now broken system in the first place.

Gallingly idiotic? It can also be descried as refreshingly open minded.
posted by IndigoJones at 6:22 AM on March 19, 2011

First, this isn't new, Slate has done similar surveys before.

Also, do you realize the editorial tone of this post paints you as a real ass?
posted by oddman at 6:22 AM on March 19, 2011 [7 favorites]

Given the somewhat derogatory terms the OP used to describe those that might contribute, and the dismissive attitude towards the concept in general, am I correct to believe we're now supposed to point and laugh? 'cuz that is always fun on a saturday morning.
posted by tomswift at 6:22 AM on March 19, 2011

or, on lack of preview, what oddman said so well....
posted by tomswift at 6:24 AM on March 19, 2011

Don't read Slate much, do ya?
posted by KingEdRa at 6:27 AM on March 19, 2011

Hey you seemed to have ignored something important:

We realize that this isn't the sort of question that naturally calls out for wisdom-of-the-crowds treatment. But for every hour thatactual nuclear engineers are unable to put an end to the crisis—or at least keep it from getting worse—creative and unconventional solutions look more attractive. At the end of this Hive Mind project, we'll consult nuclear experts on the viability of the most popular ideas.
posted by oddman at 6:27 AM on March 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

wow. even shitmedia is turning into shitmedia.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 6:28 AM on March 19, 2011

In what can only be described as gallingly idiotic, the until now decent website Metafilter invites oxford blue to submit his thoughts about a slate article.
posted by ericost at 6:29 AM on March 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

Improvised aqueduc.
posted by Meatafoecure at 6:31 AM on March 19, 2011

Isn't "How is Babby Formed" the "How is Babby Formed" of our generation?
posted by gc at 6:31 AM on March 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

Laymen toss around ideas on this website all the time.
posted by Houstonian at 6:31 AM on March 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Why not build clean-up robots that run on radioactivity? They'll automatically depower themselves after they're done. Only a fool would see a problem with this plan.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:32 AM on March 19, 2011 [2 favorites]