Boy's Penis Stitched Back After Donkey Bite.

July 26, 2002 9:37 AM

Boy's Penis Stitched Back After Donkey Bite. "Donkeys in Morocco are used for laborious work on farms and garbage collection and are often subject to harsh treatment". Okay, but this leaves several important questions, such as Why is the Donkey the mascot of the Democratic Party? Are Concrete Donkeys evil? (and why are the capitalisations of the C and D in Concrete Donkey stressed?) Should we fear a pregnate donkey? Would you consider adopting a donkey needing a home? I will.
posted by Mack Twain (27 comments total)

Would you consider adopting a donkey needing a home? I will.

Considering how they are constantly biting off penises? I'd say...maybe not.
posted by ColdChef at 9:42 AM on July 26, 2002

Leave me out of this.
posted by donkeyschlong at 9:46 AM on July 26, 2002

Oh, so this is like the Rabbit thing from last Friday? Prepare thyselfs for a rash of Ass Posting...
posted by almostcool at 9:47 AM on July 26, 2002

I have always favored dogs and chickens for brief encounters because they tend to be gentler with one's partner.
posted by Postroad at 9:47 AM on July 26, 2002

Great. Now this is back in my head. La la la...
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:48 AM on July 26, 2002

The donkeys and elephants around washington D.C. are annoying proof that the two parties completely dominate politics and have no intention of letting anyone else in. Other than that, they are fun to look at.
posted by insomnyuk at 9:49 AM on July 26, 2002

The donkeys and elephants around washington D.C. are annoying proof that the two parties completely dominate politics and have no intention of letting anyone else in.

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, but how the heck did you come to that conclusion (that they are proof)?
posted by BlueTrain at 9:51 AM on July 26, 2002

Every day, I find one thing through MetaFilter that makes me laugh. Here's today's:

The Democrats think of the elephant as bungling, stupid, pompous and conservative -- but the Republicans think it is dignified, strong and intelligent. On the other hand, the Republicans regard the donkey as stubborn, silly and ridiculous -- but the Democrats claim it is humble, homely, smart, courageous and loveable.

Adlai Stevenson provided one of the most clever descriptions of the Republican's symbol when he said, "The elephant has a thick skin, a head full of ivory, and as everyone who has seen a circus parade knows, proceeds best by grasping the tail of its predecessor."
posted by ColdChef at 9:52 AM on July 26, 2002

That donkey must've seen the episode of "South Park" where Cartmen was training a pony to do the very same thing...
posted by Oriole Adams at 9:55 AM on July 26, 2002

home·ly
adj. home·li·er, home·li·est
1. Not attractive or good-looking: a homely child.
2. Lacking elegance or refinement: homely furniture.
3. Of a simple or unpretentious nature; plain: homely truths.

I think the DNC was going for #3 there.
posted by yhbc at 9:57 AM on July 26, 2002

Yhbc: I think the DNC was going for #3 there.

Still, though. Yick. My girls need some glammer, knowwhati'msayin'?
posted by ColdChef at 10:03 AM on July 26, 2002

Bluetrain, check this out. Plus, the project (official website) was commissioned by the D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities, a government agency, no doubt influenced by the two parties.

Don't get me wrong, it is a really cool project, as they commissioned dozens of artists and were not funded by taxes (primarily) but by sponsorships from local businesses and organizations. (Washington Post Article)

However, this excerpt from the post explains my disagreement:

In Washington, the Party Animals -- symbols of the Democratic and Republican parties that define Washington

Yep, that's my problem, they define Washington, this is merely a continuation of that. I'm no greenie (although I've been called that because of my name), but it would have been cool to see Green Party painted sunflower statues dot the city as well. The reason the project is nice is the diversity.

Also, it makes sense to have the donkeys and elephants in statues, while I don't really understand the Cows of Chicago or the silly moose I've seen dotted around Toronto (are those still around?)
posted by insomnyuk at 10:13 AM on July 26, 2002

Green = poison, decay, envy
Is that more to your liking?
posted by me3dia at 10:14 AM on July 26, 2002

Re: Cows of Chicago -- Chicago was once the capital of the meat packing industry, boasting the largest stockyards in the country. Although long gone, the association between cattle and Chicago (and the fable about a cow starting the Chicago Fire) lives on.
posted by me3dia at 10:18 AM on July 26, 2002

Thanks, but as usual, I disagree.

The donkeys and elephants around washington D.C. are annoying proof that the two parties completely dominate politics and have no intention of letting anyone else in.

While I agree that the two parties dominate politics, I strongly oppose your conclusion that they have no intention of letting anyone else in. The parties have no control over other parties' development. Let's see a new party take shape, and then argue about whether they're being oppressed. The Green Party is hardly a legitimate contender, much like the Reform Party.

Yep, that's my problem, they define Washington, this is merely a continuation of that.

No, in fact, they don't define Washington. One writer's opinion does not make truth. Washington, IMHO, is defined by its people, not the parties.
posted by BlueTrain at 10:31 AM on July 26, 2002

Washington, IMHO, is defined by its people, not the parties.

Funniest post today.

The parties have no control over other parties' development.

No, they just get all the funding, so no one else can develop.
posted by adampsyche at 10:44 AM on July 26, 2002

No, they just get all the funding, so no one else can develop.

I seem to remember that the Reform Party received federal funding in '96 because of Perot's support in the '92 election.
posted by BlueTrain at 10:47 AM on July 26, 2002

The Green Party is hardly a legitimate contender, much like the Reform Party.

Who gets to define "legitimate" or set the terms for being considered so? You? The existing Republicrat hegemony?
posted by rushmc at 10:54 AM on July 26, 2002

I now realize that I totally derailed this thread from a talk about a donkey biting a boy in the crotch to talk about party politics.

Well, maybe it's not that unrelated after all.
posted by insomnyuk at 11:01 AM on July 26, 2002

Am I the only person who got this ad embedded in the article? I nearly fell off my chair, I was laughing so hard.
posted by Danelope at 11:39 AM on July 26, 2002

From the Donkey Adoption site:

Here is a list of some inexpensive "toys" to keep your donkey amused:
large empty cardboard boxes with staples removed

plastic water or milk jugs half filled with colored water

old garden hose (with metal ends removed)

cotton rope tied in knots (like the large size dog tug toys)

bicycle tire or inner tube (remove any metal fill tubes)

orange traffic cones (very popular toy)

large balls (partially deflate so that your donkey can pick it up)

Horseballs are also a popular toy (visit their website for more info)
Horseballs. Heh.
posted by ColdChef at 12:36 PM on July 26, 2002

What about this question: Why was that kid's penis in a donkey's mouth?
posted by uftheory at 1:06 PM on July 26, 2002

uftheory - probably for the same reason there are so many vacuum cleaner accidents invloving penii. Danger lurks everywhere; you always have to be on your guard lest an evil beast or appliance suddenly turn on you.
posted by yhbc at 1:10 PM on July 26, 2002

Something else just occurred to me: PENIS STITCHES!
*passes out*
posted by ColdChef at 1:24 PM on July 26, 2002

Donkeys and cows are omnipresent in South Asia. I have NEVER EVER heard that a donkey has beaten someone. Ok, they like to kick if you annoy them enough and they kick rather viciously. But biting a kid's penis? An Indian donkey will never do that!! Monkeys on the other hand - they could be up to all sorts of monkey business. Recently, one jumped inside my aunt's apartment in Varanasi, opened the refrigerator and as my panicked, disbelieving aunt watched from the other room, took the bread from inside and the salt from the table and nonchalantly walked out.
posted by justlooking at 1:34 PM on July 26, 2002

Is this the only biting donkey joke out there? "If I have a rooster and you have a donkey and your donkey bites
off my roosters feet, what do you have"? Please do not read the punchline if you are upset by filthy innuendo.
posted by Mack Twain at 1:39 PM on July 26, 2002

Recently, one jumped inside my aunt's apartment in Varanasi, opened the refrigerator and as my panicked, disbelieving aunt watched from the other room, took the bread from inside and the salt from the table and nonchalantly walked out.

Monkeys are so cool. I mean, taking the bread, sure...but taking the SALT, too? Pure class.
posted by rushmc at 7:46 PM on July 26, 2002