August 20, 2002

9:28 AM

"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where all these profits came from, and why all these acquisitions went sour, what our net income is, and why WorldCom stock prices are in the toilet, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth." Holden Caulfield, caught up in the boom.
posted by luser (7 comments total)

Comment on post

By: Dr. Octavius
Style: James Lipton from Inside the Actors Studio

What a tremendously delightful post. There is no word for the awe inspired by this web page so I must make one up....and it is superflatatiousable. That post was superflatatiousable. Extra-ordinary indeed my fine Luser.

Kudos. Kudos to you sir.
posted by Dr_Octavius at 9:51 AM on August 20, 2002

Once upon a Tuesday morning
A challenge was offered, without warning,
On writing in the style of a well-known author
While on the keyboard I was tapping,
Thinking, pondering, forehead slapping,
Suddenly I began mapping, mapping a poem I’d heard before.
“I’ll copy Poe,” I muttered,
“Though mapping will be a chore,”
So I wrote this, and nothing more.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:20 AM on August 20, 2002

I dunno.

From the same place: Investors Do Not Buy Stocks. They Buy Stories. Let Us Tell Yours.

I don't think J.D. would want a "cute" parody of his work used to promote corporate shilling. It's like Revolution being used to sell gym shoes.

Somewhere, I think Franny just fainted.
posted by 314/ at 10:56 AM on August 20, 2002

I really enjoyed that little parody -- except for one nagging little thing: Holden Caufield was a victim. But Bernard Ebbers and his ilk are just playing the victim.

No Salinger-style gloss-over can hide the fact that these CEOs are crooks and have nobody to blame but themselves.

Oh, and MrMoonPie: That was very nice, but nevermore :-)
posted by TBoneMcCool at 11:31 AM on August 20, 2002

Thanks, luser; I enjoyed these and don't have a problem with the how or the why. People who like to write got paid to jot down clever parodies. Okay by me. Same site different piece: Jackie Kjono channeling Samuel Beckett channeling Ken Lay at Enron: "Some time ago, we made a $300 million profit from stock in Rhythm NetConnections. This raised an accounting problem, which we solved in the following way. We sucked those profits from Rhythm NetConnections into our partnership with LJM, which turned them into losses. We then sucked those losses back into Enron, turn and turn about, which turned them back into profits. We then took those profits and stuffed them into the pockets of our greatcoats. . . . I do not know what the peculiar, little man from Arthur Andersen thinks about all this. I fill up the pages and he comes to collect them once a week on Sundays. He’s a queer one and always thirsty." Explain Enron to me as a surrealist and finally it all starts to make sense.
posted by onlyconnect at 12:41 PM on August 20, 2002

No Salinger-style gloss-over can hide the fact that these CEOs are crooks and have nobody to blame but themselves.

i had some high hopes for the raymond chandler parody (honorable mention), because i knew it wouldn't sugarcoat those facts. unfortunately, it just wasn't snappy.
posted by lescour at 8:30 PM on August 20, 2002

The Douglas Adams spoof was awful. That poor man deserves far, far better.
posted by kindall at 9:50 PM on August 20, 2002