A Cinematic Progress Bar for Life

November 20, 2024 11:13 AM

Enter your date of birth and a guess at your life expectancy, then choose from a list of movies. Memento Movi then shows a frame from that movie that represents your place in your lifespan. So, for instance, a twenty-year-old who selects Star Wars will likely get a frame from Tattooine, but a sixty-year-old who selects Jaws will be on the boat. [via condour75's post as seen on mefi projects]
posted by DirtyOldTown (50 comments total)

What a relief, I'm at the point of Cape Fear where Joe Don Baker is putting wires up around the house but not quite to the part where they find his body lying in a puddle of blood. I suddenly don't feel nearly as old!
posted by mittens at 11:25 AM on November 20

Four out of five that I tried showed me a frame from the end credits. Thanks a lot!
posted by TwoToneRow at 11:27 AM on November 20 [17 favorites]

Mood.
posted by The Bellman at 11:28 AM on November 20 [1 favorite]

Apparently I'm at the phase of life where I'm in my briefs having a breakdown during a rather pointed interview in Magnolia. That tracks.
posted by Garm at 11:29 AM on November 20

Shaun of the Dead seems to be the movie that helps orient me the best.

I'm not sure any other realization has made me feel older than seeing that Philip's about to die. Then again, I'm older than I've ever been.
posted by gurple at 11:33 AM on November 20

Also, mood.
posted by The Bellman at 11:33 AM on November 20 [2 favorites]

No no no no no! Trigger warning if you feel like "what's the worst that could happen?" and select something like Midsommar. You will be looking at the exact frame of gore & body horror that you still have nightmares about, years after you last saw the movie.
posted by knotty knots at 11:38 AM on November 20 [2 favorites]

Nice! I'm at the point in Star Wars where Darth Vader is closing in on Red Squadron, just before Han shows up. "What?" Yeah, that's me today. "What?"
posted by SPrintF at 11:44 AM on November 20 [1 favorite]

I'm a sketch of Charlie Brown's face on a football in Popcorn and Jellybeans: Making a Thanksgiving Classic.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 11:55 AM on November 20

I am also an unconscious William Harper lying face down in Midsommar.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 11:57 AM on November 20

Trash compactor in the Death Star, wonderful
posted by gottabefunky at 11:59 AM on November 20 [2 favorites]

WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE MIDSOMMAR
posted by mittens at 12:01 PM on November 20 [8 favorites]

This feels accurate.
posted by Il etait une fois at 12:03 PM on November 20 [1 favorite]

I DON'T KNOW I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A NICE SCENE OF FLOWERS OR DOING MUSHROOMS IN A MEADOW
posted by knotty knots at 12:06 PM on November 20 [9 favorites]

Trash compactor in the Death Star, wonderful.

Kids.
posted by The Bellman at 12:13 PM on November 20 [2 favorites]

Picked the Blues Brothers and got John Candy ordering Orange Whips. Further along than I'd like to be, but that softens the blow a little bit.
posted by PlusDistance at 12:20 PM on November 20 [1 favorite]

2001...Bowman bringing Poole's body back to the ship. Thanks HAL!
posted by foonly at 12:32 PM on November 20

As I wrote in the project thread:

I tried "The fifth element" and got a frame of Mila Jovovich looking hot (which could be any frame in the movie, mind), which doesn't correspond to my life at all. Tried "The Holy Grail" and got tim the enchanter blowing up a tree, which, if I'm the tree, seems right. Tried "Snatch" and got the guys holding up the hitman with their prop guns and looking worried. Which also seems right.
posted by maxwelton at 12:36 PM on November 20 [1 favorite]

I don't know why I picked Alien, but I'm glad no one at work was looking over my shoulder.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:40 PM on November 20 [2 favorites]

This was fun! Jack was just sitting down to a Midsommar meal. I am sad that Minority Report is not included in the list. Spielberg goes to great lengths to work time into the subtext of the movie. The exact moment "This is all happening right now" is specifically elided with the number of movie minutes the viewer has until the end of the movie.
posted by effluvia at 1:28 PM on November 20

At 47 years old, I am at the point in my life that is analogous to the scene in The Wizard of Oz (1939) where the Scarecrow gets re-stuffed with fresh clean straw by the employees of the Merry Old Land of Oz day spa. Since I'm just now finally taking care of a few chronic health problems, I guess that tracks?
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:28 PM on November 20 [2 favorites]

It also appears that I'm at the point of my life where I'm just waiting for the next Catbus in the rain.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:33 PM on November 20 [6 favorites]

A Shrubber!
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 1:58 PM on November 20

Young Frankenstein just before the Doctor and the monster put in the stage show.
posted by jvbthegolfer at 2:27 PM on November 20

Oh, fun, it’s the Avengers sitting around eating shawa
posted by Horace Rumpole at 2:30 PM on November 20 [5 favorites]

Apollo 13. Apparently I'm at a phase of life where I'm trying to put a square peg in a round hole.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 2:41 PM on November 20

Only one Star Trek movie, and it's not The Wrath of Khan? Tsk. At least when I put in the Avengers I got America's Ass.
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:12 PM on November 20 [1 favorite]

Jaws on the boat . . . comparing scars!
Just before the Indianapolis speech, which feels about right honestly . . . .
posted by pt68 at 3:40 PM on November 20

Ripley, looking at Hudson, a dead man walking.
posted by biffa at 4:09 PM on November 20

Faye Dunaway is helping fix up Jack Nicholson's nose, in what is perhaps the only scene exhibiting purely empathetic human behavior in Chinatown, so I will take it at age 58.
posted by JimInSYR at 4:20 PM on November 20

"retaliate first" "
posted by stet at 4:21 PM on November 20

"what's the worst that could happen?”

I picked Fire Walk With Me.
posted by bcwinters at 4:37 PM on November 20

Obi-Won, headed for the tractor beam control.
posted by JoeZydeco at 4:52 PM on November 20

I'll just say it's reassuring to learn that in Heaven everything is fine and leave it at that.
posted by flabdablet at 6:00 PM on November 20 [1 favorite]

I am watching The Diva Laguna sing her unearthly aria. The peace before the storm.
posted by bonehead at 6:09 PM on November 20

The Dude holding a White Russian and the Autobahn album.
posted by Uncle at 6:18 PM on November 20 [1 favorite]

Wow, Dorothy is only just meeting the Cowardly Lion! Thanks, this actually made me feel really great on a very trying day...week...month...? Year? Knowing that they were still just assembling the squad at this stage makes me feel like maybe I don't have to have it all together yet.

Haha I guess it's probably indicative of my mood that this actually made me shed a few tears of relief. I'm still just "scolding a lion for scaring my little dog" years old! Whew!
posted by potrzebie at 7:12 PM on November 20

Obi-Won, headed for the tractor beam control.

I know I’m crossing the streams here, but all I could think of as I read that was “Darmok and Jalad at Tenagra.”
posted by zooropa at 7:27 PM on November 20 [2 favorites]

Klan fire zone from Brother Where Art Thou? I'm sure I could have done worse, but, well, there it is.
posted by BWA at 7:46 PM on November 20

Open the pod bay doors HAL
posted by inpHilltr8r at 8:07 PM on November 20

Oh wow, if you lost a parent too soon, don't try plugging in their age for your life expectancy, because that makes it extra awful.

At my age, my dad probably thought he had three or four decades left, but really at this point, Marty was telling George and Lorraine goodbye after the dance before he hopped back in the Delorean to head home.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:15 PM on November 20 [1 favorite]

I know I’m crossing the streams here, but all I could think of as I read that was “Darmok and Jalad at Tenagra.”


Sokath, his eyes open!
posted by DreamerFi at 12:39 AM on November 21

I’m at the point where nihilists have thrown the marmot into The Dude’s bathtub
posted by Jon_Evil at 6:01 AM on November 21

Ellen Brody is running away from the dock as the Orca sets out to sea.
posted by Molesome at 8:03 AM on November 21

Sigourney Weaver in her underwear in Alien, which takes my mind off how close it is to the end of the movie.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:34 AM on November 21 [1 favorite]

WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE MIDSOMMAR?

Why do we even have that lever movie?
posted by Naberius at 9:13 AM on November 21 [2 favorites]

You're never going to be part of the Harga with that attitude.
posted by effluvia at 10:40 AM on November 21 [1 favorite]

How does it not have Memento?
posted by pompomtom at 1:11 PM on November 21 [1 favorite]

I’m at the point where nihilists have thrown the marmot into The Dude’s bathtub

Whereas I just dropped in (to see what condition my condition was in).
posted by dannyboybell at 4:30 PM on November 21

Jaguar Paw sees the Spanish ship in the bay, senses the coming apocalypse, and leads his family back into the safety of His Forest.

AKA

Hunker in the bunker.
posted by mule98J at 3:17 PM on November 23