A critique of Operation Pretentious Platitude

March 22, 2003 5:50 PM

Operation Pretentious Platitude One of the awful aspects of "Operation Iraqi Freedom" is having to listen to this name used without irony.

"It all comes down to branding" ... "Don't waste a public relations opportunity -- remember that the operation name is the first bullet in the war of images." "Churchill ... warned specifically against using words that imply an "overconfident sentiment." He knew as well as anyone how history delights in throwing unforeseen ironies our way." Here's a list of mostly recent real names.

But how about "Operation Rouge-wearing Caliph"? "Operation Evangelical Fatwa"? "Operation Expect No Mercy From Our Privet Bush"? "Operation Overpriced Cannon"? "Operation Irate Economy"? "Operation International-law-ignoring Manticore"?. Try for yourself. (Here's how it's done).
posted by lathrop (32 comments total)

I've been calling it "Operation Win in 2004."
posted by spartacusroosevelt at 5:56 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation Whitespace.





Heh.
posted by namespan at 5:59 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation Bully Initiating A Bar-Brawl
Operation Welcoming Armageddon
Operation Enduring Poland 2003
posted by bunnytricks at 6:09 PM on March 22, 2003

How about Operation Ranger Stadium?
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:10 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation IraqFilter
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 6:32 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation: It takes a steady hand..
posted by stbalbach at 6:41 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation Pearl Harbor
posted by kirkaracha at 6:48 PM on March 22, 2003

operation kick saddam's motherfucking ass because he is a motherfucking despotic cunt and the iraqi people welcome the troops who are liberating them from his deadly totalitarian motherfucking disgusting regime, which you obviously support wholeheartedly, and you want saddam to continue to kill, maim, torture and exile these people. yeah yeah yeah, whose side are you on, fuckface? we have got a chance to get rid of the most evil motherfucking regime in the motherfucking world, but you are like, oh no, don't kill saddam, i love him, you stupid motherfucking idiot.
posted by mokey at 6:54 PM on March 22, 2003

Wow.

I just thought it was a nifty set of articles about the use of words in operations, but evidently it is some kind of validation for the Iraqi regime. Okay.

On the plus side, I wouldn't mind telling my kids that I served in Operation Blue Spoon.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 7:09 PM on March 22, 2003

One of the awful aspects of "Operation Iraqi Freedom" is having to listen to this name used without irony.

How about:

Operation no matter how evil Saddam Hussein is, there is no way that a Republican President can ever be in the right, so I'm going to bitch about the war, even though 99 percent of the people suffering under Saddam will think I'm on crack.

Iraqfilter
posted by Beholder at 7:16 PM on March 22, 2003

I served proudly in Operation Dangerous Marsupial. I can't talk about it.
posted by birdherder at 7:20 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation Overlord? No...sounds too made up.
posted by iconomy at 7:29 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation White Whale
posted by homunculus at 7:34 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation Chain Breaker. Operation Shackle-Shear.

Operation Expedited Manumission.

We be freein' the slaves, after all.

(Unless you think they WANT to be left under Saddam...)

JB
posted by JB71 at 7:49 PM on March 22, 2003

What beholder said was so right that it's worth repeating:

How about:

Operation no matter how evil Saddam Hussein is, there is no way that a Republican President can ever be in the right, so I'm going to bitch about the war, even though 99 percent of the people suffering under Saddam will think I'm on crack.

It's amazing -- sad, but amazing -- how many otherwise (reasonably) rational people DON'T believe that Iraqi freedom is (a) a good thing, and (b) one of our true objectives.
posted by davidmsc at 8:32 PM on March 22, 2003

I think I'm starting to get it, actually.

Operation we thought we had the situation under control but made some bad concessions to the Iraqis at the end of the last war which they took advantage of and we tried to use the international community to reign things in but politics presented a more and more formidable obstacle especially when dealing with a wily dictator and besides we had this neo-sovereignty doctrine and so we said screw it and we're intervening, acting directly for better or for worse and we'll probably be much more effective than the last 12 years but also tread on arabs who don't trust us or might like to solve their own problems but probably won't and spend more goodwill capital than we have with some of our longtime allies even if our intentions are honorable if not perfect and yes there could be unforseen consequences and it's actually a big mess with no really easy solution.

Operation not-whitespace, as it were.
posted by namespan at 8:41 PM on March 22, 2003

davidmsc: I believe that Iraqi freedom would be a good thing, but I'm not convinced a U.S. military invasion will give it to them. The U.S. has a bad habit of supporting nasty dictators when it suits their purposes, Saddam Hussein being only one of them. Furthermore, I don't know what "our" objectives are, because I'm not part of this "us" that's doing the invading; I'm just part of the "us" that's going to have to pay for it. But the justifications I've heard coming out of Washington are so incoherent that I have to believe the Bush administration simply doesn't want to talk about their true motivations. Yes, I'm sure plenty of Americans are stupid enough to believe the public explanations, but I know Bush and his advisors are not. I don't know what the point of this whole adventure really is, but I'm not about to trust someone who won't tell me what he's really thinking.
posted by Mars Saxman at 8:57 PM on March 22, 2003

Or how about,

Operation many people seem to like war too much.

Or,

Operation Iraq women and children waiting for liberation to come falling from the sky like it has for their next door neighbour.

Or,

Operation the only reason France and Russia opose the war is because they weren't offered as generous a spoils of war package as Britain.
posted by cmacleod at 9:06 PM on March 22, 2003

Nailed it nicely, XQUZYPHYR. Thank you.

I like this idea that encapsulating the essence of the Operation requires a paragraph instead of a two-word Uplifting Phrase (who could oppose Operation Freedom for All?).

Oh yeah, John Ashcroft (heheh)

p.s. sorry about that whitespace
posted by lathrop at 9:14 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation Unnecessary Roughness
Operation Stop Hitting Yourself! Stop Hitting Yourself!
posted by emelenjr at 9:23 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation Burning Bush.
posted by Rebis at 9:30 PM on March 22, 2003

"Operation Who's Your Daddy?"
posted by homunculus at 10:31 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation Flood The Weblogs
posted by Big_B at 10:32 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation we care about the Iraqi people the way we cared about the Afghani women....yeah when it suddenly became
politically advantageous to do so.

Meanwhile these same Republicans who care so much about all the "downtrodden people of the world" are cutting programs left and right, for the less advantaged in their own country including their own veterans!

Can you say disingenuous?

Give me a break ...it literally makes me sick to my stomach.
posted by SweetIceT at 11:35 PM on March 22, 2003

Operation Milton Bradley
posted by wendell at 11:59 PM on March 22, 2003

But seriously (well, slightly more):
Operation: To Iraq and I-ruin
posted by wendell at 12:06 AM on March 23, 2003

Operation Just Because
posted by whirlwind29 at 1:35 AM on March 23, 2003

ps i apologise for my earlier nasty comment, it wasn't really warranted.
posted by mokey at 4:30 AM on March 23, 2003

operation ingrowing toenail.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:00 AM on March 23, 2003

Operation Culturally Imperialist Squirrel

Totally random...swear to God.
posted by jaronson at 7:15 AM on March 23, 2003

Operation Pyongyang, You're Next.

Operation Distraction from Domestic Problems.

Operation Nonexistent Mandate.
posted by Vidiot at 9:42 PM on March 23, 2003

Operation Halliburton Hallelujah

Operation Prep Patriot II
posted by homunculus at 11:56 PM on March 23, 2003