Language Removal Services

September 22, 2003 11:15 AM

Language Removal Services is a service that electronically removes that which is uneccessary in human speech. The laboratory has come to the aid of California voters by processing recorded speech samples of the candidates in order to "better understand their true positions."
posted by mert (27 comments total)

This is hilarious: Arianna sounds like she's a porn actress, and Bustamante sounds like he's got lung problems. Good thing Madeline Albright isn't here ... that lady had a 10:1 "uh" to real-word ratio.
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:37 AM on September 22, 2003

Arnold stuttering about halfway though is priceless.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 11:37 AM on September 22, 2003

Could someone explain to those of us without sound at work, what the hell this is? The website does quite a poor job explaining.
posted by starvingartist at 11:40 AM on September 22, 2003

" ... "
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:43 AM on September 22, 2003

Oh, and ... "LanguageFilter."
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:44 AM on September 22, 2003

the inner labial images were moderately interesting, but i couldn't make hide nor hair of the text, which is nowhere near as inventive as, say, timecube.
posted by quonsar at 11:46 AM on September 22, 2003

the space between phonemes.
posted by shoepal at 11:46 AM on September 22, 2003

Um, can I get a "NSFW, Amen" on that one? Christ.
posted by arielmeadow at 11:51 AM on September 22, 2003

uh...


um...
posted by internal at 12:12 PM on September 22, 2003

Unfair! Unfair! Ubberoth got a Yeah included in his, while others only got Umms and Uhs
posted by m@ at 12:16 PM on September 22, 2003

huffington's was almost musical.. she also had NO uhhs, or uhms...
posted by Dome-O-Rama at 12:23 PM on September 22, 2003

How are pictures of vocal cords not safe for work?
posted by atholbrose at 12:24 PM on September 22, 2003

DUDE! Did arnold just say "Paul is dead?"

Yeah I don't get how this is a NSFW page...
posted by Dome-O-Rama at 12:27 PM on September 22, 2003

I swear I can hear music, as if some of these samples are being played on a synthesizer.

Starvingartist, it does do a piss-poor job at description, I agree. Basically it's the intake of breath and gutteral noises people make between words, spliced together.
posted by Busithoth at 12:27 PM on September 22, 2003

NSFW? Why, because of the pictures of the vocal folds?
posted by Etaoin Shrdlu at 12:28 PM on September 22, 2003

How are pictures of vocal cords not safe for work?

such naivete is refreshing.
posted by quonsar at 12:36 PM on September 22, 2003

Oh. My cubicle paranoia got the better of me -- I clicked the link, saw drippy pink flesh, and assumed the worst.

*slinks off to go look at porn consisting of adam's apples and backs of knees.*
posted by arielmeadow at 12:38 PM on September 22, 2003

A better idea would be to cut all the fillings that politicians use to mask what they actually think... or better, just do a bit of cut and paste like the Bush wacked union speech...
posted by samelborp at 12:52 PM on September 22, 2003

arielmeadow, I thought you meant NSFW due to the hot-n-heavy breathing of Arianna's clip, which could be misconstrued as it emanates from your workstation speakers.
posted by shoepal at 1:19 PM on September 22, 2003

Yes, shoepal, I like your interpretation better. Makes me sound like less of a dumbass.
posted by arielmeadow at 1:51 PM on September 22, 2003

It seems to me like some kind of weird hoax by a bored grad student or something... are they actually serious?
posted by Shoeburyness at 1:57 PM on September 22, 2003

Huh. Eh ... uh ... ... ... Meh.
posted by rusty at 2:04 PM on September 22, 2003

No, they're not actually serious. The obscurity is part of the dada joke. See, for example, their history of language removal page.
posted by macrone at 2:28 PM on September 22, 2003

I think the mp3's of the "ecstatic opera" are actually quite beautiful.
posted by mert at 2:31 PM on September 22, 2003

Interesting how the different voices are still identifiable, even with no words.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 6:20 PM on September 22, 2003

Ahh, I think I first head this on Anal Magic with Kenny G, or possibly Advanced D&D with Donna Summer... wow, wfmu plays him a lot.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 8:17 PM on September 22, 2003 [1 favorite]

ok.

these mp3s are HILARIOUS.
posted by mcsweetie at 8:47 PM on September 22, 2003