Augh! My eyes!!!
November 4, 2003 5:57 PM Subscribe
Worst Album Covers Ever. It is either "Let me touch him" or "Julie's Sixteenth Birthday." I'll let you decide.
Thanks, gen. This gave me a much-needed five-minute laugh.
posted by orange swan at 6:08 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by orange swan at 6:08 PM on November 4, 2003
A: Oh my goddess, that HAIR!!!
B: Which one?
A: All of 'em!
posted by mischief at 6:12 PM on November 4, 2003
B: Which one?
A: All of 'em!
posted by mischief at 6:12 PM on November 4, 2003
The Tops Record one is actually pretty cool, but I wonder if I think it's cool for different reasons than the creators.
Doesn't matter, though right? That's what deconstruction is all about, right?
posted by namespan at 6:26 PM on November 4, 2003
Doesn't matter, though right? That's what deconstruction is all about, right?
posted by namespan at 6:26 PM on November 4, 2003
Thanks gen, I needed that. I thought the Country Church was the "best".
posted by sharpener at 6:29 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by sharpener at 6:29 PM on November 4, 2003
It's a tossup between the hairy naked men and "Joyce."
posted by PrinceValium at 6:31 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by PrinceValium at 6:31 PM on November 4, 2003
Some of Devastatin' Dave the Turntable Slave's fine work can be found here.
posted by Johnny Assay at 6:31 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by Johnny Assay at 6:31 PM on November 4, 2003
Credit where credit is due: all of those albums were lifted from Dork's Bizarre Record Covers.
posted by MrBaliHai at 6:37 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by MrBaliHai at 6:37 PM on November 4, 2003
While "Let me touch him" is clearly the winner, this site underestimates the importance of hair metal. Guitarist fights dragons, cool shiny futuristic letters, floating pyramids, Ooh, that's scary.
posted by Jimbob at 6:37 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by Jimbob at 6:37 PM on November 4, 2003
Orleans is/was gay? Who knew? See, this is the kind of stuff that MTV has killed with the whole 'music video' thing.
posted by WolfDaddy at 6:39 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by WolfDaddy at 6:39 PM on November 4, 2003
MrBaliHai- thanks for the attribution. I had no idea where they came from originally.
posted by gen at 6:40 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by gen at 6:40 PM on November 4, 2003
Y'know Wolf Daddy, when I looked at that Orleans cover, I thought to myself, "Wolf Daddy's going to think that one's good, not bad." Then I tried to decide if it was a really bad straight cover or a really good, mischievously gay masquerading as straight cover (notice the untamed body hair). Then I moved on.
posted by orange swan at 7:03 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by orange swan at 7:03 PM on November 4, 2003
The 70's was a deranged era, orange swan. Deranged.
Dance with me. I want to be YOUR partner.
posted by WolfDaddy at 7:11 PM on November 4, 2003
Dance with me. I want to be YOUR partner.
posted by WolfDaddy at 7:11 PM on November 4, 2003
Must have been why I was born then.
Can't you see the music is just starting? Night is falling, and I am calling...
The Swan and the Wolf step up to each other and begin a flawless waltz......
posted by orange swan at 7:28 PM on November 4, 2003
Can't you see the music is just starting? Night is falling, and I am calling...
The Swan and the Wolf step up to each other and begin a flawless waltz......
posted by orange swan at 7:28 PM on November 4, 2003
Wow, that's so random- I know that guy (who does the blog, not Tino), used to work with him. Those album covers are so excellent...
posted by mkultra at 8:01 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by mkultra at 8:01 PM on November 4, 2003
"mischievously gay" Umm, mischievously bi, maybe. ;-P
posted by mischief at 8:04 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by mischief at 8:04 PM on November 4, 2003
The bigger versions I got on email let you see that Millie Jackson's E.S.P. stood for extra sexual perception.
posted by Flat Feet Pete at 8:34 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by Flat Feet Pete at 8:34 PM on November 4, 2003
Julie's 16th birthday is just unbelievably creepy. Who doesn't think that the man on the cover, the guy with the booze and the lit cigarette (and the weird hat) is actually trying to convince her to cross a state line so that they can get "married"? And then, like, they have to stay in a creepy motel for the night because, I dunno, the car doesn't have headlights and it's getting dark, and then... and then.... Eck.
posted by jokeefe at 8:53 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by jokeefe at 8:53 PM on November 4, 2003
i think you'll find most of those covers at show and tell music. my all time fave would be "Flying Missiles Atomic Bombs and the Second Coming of Jesus Christ" by jimmy swaggart.
posted by quonsar at 9:01 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by quonsar at 9:01 PM on November 4, 2003
While the skin colour is different, my outfits are frightfully close to those of Devastatin' Dave, The Turntable Slave. It's links like these that keep me coming back to my binary counting machine for more.
posted by The God Complex at 9:24 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by The God Complex at 9:24 PM on November 4, 2003
Thanks for the link to show and tell music, quonsar. Those bizarre album covers are infinitely excellent. This one very nearly made me crap my pants.
posted by funkbrain at 10:03 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by funkbrain at 10:03 PM on November 4, 2003
My God, quonsar, it is incredibly hard to pick a winner from that bunch. I think, though, that I would have to go for this one.
posted by dg at 10:05 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by dg at 10:05 PM on November 4, 2003
Who doesn't enjoy some fine songs of minorities?
posted by Guy Smiley at 10:31 PM on November 4, 2003
posted by Guy Smiley at 10:31 PM on November 4, 2003
Quite possibly the most aptly named family on earth.
posted by fullerine at 1:28 AM on November 5, 2003
posted by fullerine at 1:28 AM on November 5, 2003
thanks for the attribution. I had no idea where they came from originally.
That's quite understandable considering that the guy who runs the 'blog you linked to neglected to give Nick DiFonzo any attribution for those albums covers. Now he's even hawking mugs and t-shirts with those covers on them, again with zero attribution.
posted by MrBaliHai at 7:41 AM on November 5, 2003
That's quite understandable considering that the guy who runs the 'blog you linked to neglected to give Nick DiFonzo any attribution for those albums covers. Now he's even hawking mugs and t-shirts with those covers on them, again with zero attribution.
posted by MrBaliHai at 7:41 AM on November 5, 2003
Update: once informed of the source of the covers, the proprietor of Stone appears to be quite willing to give proper credit to Dork. All is well once again in the peaceful valley of bad record covers.
posted by MrBaliHai at 8:22 AM on November 5, 2003
posted by MrBaliHai at 8:22 AM on November 5, 2003
Outstanding! My faith in Western culture is creeping back. Thanks, all.
posted by squirrel at 11:09 AM on November 5, 2003
posted by squirrel at 11:09 AM on November 5, 2003
Anyone else find this rather, well, exploitive?
posted by orange swan at 11:42 AM on November 5, 2003
posted by orange swan at 11:42 AM on November 5, 2003
How could the amazing "Happiness is Dean Martin" cover not have made this list? Unfortunately, I could only find a tiny jpg of the CD-re-release, so you can't get the full impact. It's the one with Dean leering at a plastic baby doll. Ook!
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:46 AM on November 5, 2003
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:46 AM on November 5, 2003
Fabulous! Thank you...best thing I've seen all the net all day...but 12 Top Hits is brilliant -- the art direction, composition...sweet. The semiotics of Julie's Sixteenth Birthday is another matter entirely, where to begin?
posted by zenpop at 11:36 PM on November 5, 2003
posted by zenpop at 11:36 PM on November 5, 2003
I believe that when "Julie's Sixteenth Birthday" was released, the age of consent in Louisiana was, in fact, sixteen.
Hm.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:20 PM on November 6, 2003
Hm.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:20 PM on November 6, 2003
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posted by _sirmissalot_ at 6:04 PM on November 4, 2003