The 'other' Xmas tunes

November 28, 2003 5:12 AM

12 oddest Christmas hits... ever! Almost December, the stores are playing the usual Xmas compilations (already) so I propose a change to the usual "Rockin around the Christmas Tree". Which ear worm do you want?
posted by snowgoon (33 comments total)

WDEF used to play Stan Freberg's Christmas Dragnet on winter mornings when I was very little.

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a Brownie."

"Could we talk to your boss, please?"

"Oh, he's out. You would have to come on
the one night he's out on the whole year."

Well, it was funny when I was six....
posted by grabbingsand at 5:28 AM on November 28, 2003

Sled Zepplin's rendition of "Jingle Bells" to the tune of "D'yer Maker".

I win.
posted by RavinDave at 5:34 AM on November 28, 2003

Huh. I never thought of "Dominique" as a Christmas song before. Is it considered one in the UK?
posted by JanetLand at 5:44 AM on November 28, 2003

Bah, Humbug! There's no mention of:

"F*** Christmas" by Fear
Fishbone's "It's a Wonderful Life" EP
Bobby "Boris" Pickett's "Monster's Holliday"
The Royal Guardsmen performing "Snoopy & the Red Baron"
The "We Three Bings" compilation
"(There Ain't No) Sanity Clause" by the Damned
"Christmas in Jail" by the Youngsters

And mind you, that's Santa's short list!
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:57 AM on November 28, 2003

Okay, Dave.... I see your "Sled Zeppelin" and I raise you "Santa Claus and His Old Lady" by Cheech & Chong.

Chong: Some magic dust?

Cheech: Yeah, magic dust, y'know? He used ta give a little bit to da reindeer, a little bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a little bit more...
posted by grabbingsand at 6:00 AM on November 28, 2003

"2000 Miles" by the Pretenders.

"Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses.
posted by alumshubby at 6:05 AM on November 28, 2003

Or the Baltimore classic, "Crabs for Christmas":

Ow! I want crabs for Christmas!
Ow! Only crabs will do.
If I get crabs for Christmas
My Christmas wish'll come true!

.
posted by SealWyf at 6:06 AM on November 28, 2003

My wife is fond of the Christmas classics as reworked by Bob Rivers.
posted by misteraitch at 6:08 AM on November 28, 2003

Last one, I swear....

Red Peters, "Holy Sh*t, It's Christmas!"
posted by grabbingsand at 6:11 AM on November 28, 2003

Don't know if this quite counts, but what about The Exploited's "Fuck a mod" - to the tune of Jingle Bells?

Now that's some yuletide cheer.
posted by backOfYourMind at 6:12 AM on November 28, 2003

The elves are dressed in leather and the angels are in chains,
Christmas with the Devil
(Spinal Tap)

and, if the term hadn't been usurped by recent real tragedies, Christmas at Ground Zero from Weird Al was always a classic...
posted by jozxyqk at 6:45 AM on November 28, 2003

These must be included in anyone's Christmas listening:

- "R2D2, We Wish You A Merry Christmas" from the most excellent Star Wars Christmas album
- "Oi to the World" by the Vandals
- "Silent Night" by the Dickies
- "Bugs for Christmas" by Deja Voodoo

And nothing off of Bob and Doug's 'Great White North' Christmas LP.
posted by mazola at 6:53 AM on November 28, 2003

aww, man... they already put "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" on the list, and that was going to be my choice. I thought I was the only one who liked that song.
posted by lnicole at 6:58 AM on November 28, 2003

Santa Doesn't Cop Out on Dope.
posted by the fire you left me at 7:07 AM on November 28, 2003

I still prefer Monty Python's Christmas in Heaven. WHFS in Washington DC used to play that one pretty heavily around this time of year.
posted by Zonker at 7:32 AM on November 28, 2003

The Pogues Fairytale of New York

It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank...
posted by planetkyoto at 7:34 AM on November 28, 2003

And there's that old classic Christmas Gas from Slim Spincter.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:14 AM on November 28, 2003

Ahem, I present to you:
Hey Santa Claus You Cunt
Santa claus you cunt
Where's my fucking bike
I've unwrapped all this other junk
There's nothing what i like

I've wrote you a letter
And i've come to see you twice
You geriatric wanker
Where's my fucking bike
posted by PenDevil at 8:24 AM on November 28, 2003

There are really very few Christmas songs that don't drive me up the wall. (And hearing Kirstie Alley warble "Santa Baby" for Pier 1 last night put me in the Bah Humbug Spirit.) The Ramones "Merry Christmas (I don't want to fight tonight)" is good.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 8:56 AM on November 28, 2003

Percy the Puny Ponsettia

B side of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

"Even a plant
with no uncle or aunt
shouldn't spend Christmas Eve by himself"
posted by konolia at 9:00 AM on November 28, 2003

I must mention the christmas album by The Ghostly Trio. Can't find links, but it's wonderfully mournful, minor-key renditions of all the classics, featuring a few members of the Violent Femmes. One of my Dad's favorites.
posted by erebora at 9:53 AM on November 28, 2003

Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto -- James Brown
Christmas in Hollis -- Run-D.M.C.

(and the aforementioned Fishbone EP)
posted by LinusMines at 10:39 AM on November 28, 2003

Last Christmas b3ta featured this in their mail out. In the office I work in, a mad women from of the regional offices sent in a tape of her Christmas songs to our head office. It's a recording of her, a guitar, and her mother on the tambourine. I'm looking forward to this year's offering.
posted by tapeguy at 12:43 PM on November 28, 2003

Inicole: You are definitely not alone in being a Gayla Peevee fan. Quite honestly, I don't know how I could get through Christmas without it. And the hundreds of people I've given it to over the years all agree.

Mona Abboud's Pretty Little Dolly also helps bring yuletide cheer. And for serious grinches, the Yobs do a great song called C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S, in which each letter represents something crude.
posted by divrsional at 12:57 PM on November 28, 2003

"Sounds Like Christmas" by the December People is an album of traditional Christams tunes done in the style of various '70s and progressive rock bands. "Carol of the Bells" a la Yes, "Silent Night" a la Pink Floyd (Dark Side of the Moon era), "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" a la Queen, "What Child Is This" a la early Genesis, "Little Drummer Boy" a la ELP, "Twas the Night Before Christmas" a la Zeppelin, "Up On The Housetop/Deck The Halls" a la Kansas, "The First Noel" a la King Crimson, and several more pastiches. Also, to top it all off, a new Christmas song by Kansas.

You'll laugh, perhaps in recognition or perhaps in derision, but you'll laugh.
posted by kindall at 12:59 PM on November 28, 2003

This definitely qualifies as an earworm for me - don't worry, you already know the tune. Walking 'round in Women's Underwear
posted by vers at 2:02 PM on November 28, 2003

I'm afraid I have no choice but to heartily endorse the entire Christmas Turkey album by The Arrogant Worms, including such favourites as Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass, Santa Got Arrested, Christmas Turkey Blues, and the classic Oh God, I'm Santa Claus!
posted by DrJohnEvans at 3:31 PM on November 28, 2003

Do They Know It's Christmas? by Band Aid *warning: instrumental midi version at site* --hokey and cheesy i know : >

I second Christmas Wrapping too.
posted by amberglow at 3:37 PM on November 28, 2003

I suppose I should mention the The Vandals' Christmas album*

* no endorsement of album, band, or genre expressed or implied
posted by kickingtheground at 3:40 PM on November 28, 2003

How about "Pagans and Christians" by Dar Williams?
posted by Beansidhe at 3:45 PM on November 28, 2003

Chingedy ching
posted by stifford at 3:48 PM on November 28, 2003

"Xmas Sucks" by the unlikely duo of Tom Waits and Peter Murphy.

"Fairytale of New York" by the Pogues.
posted by ScarletSpectrum at 4:51 PM on November 30, 2003

I don't know who did it...but it was to the tune of "Iron Man" except it's "I Am Santa Claus"....which when I heard it driving down the street made me laugh out loud...
posted by dejah420 at 8:36 PM on November 30, 2003