..and I no longer feel horny
December 1, 2003 4:22 AM Subscribe
The 12 Sexually Transmitted Infections of Christmas (Flash Required)
I shall avoid all those by sticking earnestly to "Come, all ye Faithful" when I go a-wassailing
posted by Pericles at 4:47 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by Pericles at 4:47 AM on December 1, 2003
Scabies is'nt always sexually transmitted cos I had it once and I definatly wasnt getting any at the time.
posted by ollybee at 4:51 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by ollybee at 4:51 AM on December 1, 2003
Damn. I need to install flash. This has got to be a good, gross classic on the level of parasitic worms crawling out of somebody's nose in a restaurant and sending the waiter running screaming into the street (recent mefi post)
It's almost better to imagine it, but maybe not and - besides - I can't list 12 STD's off the top of my head. Are parasitic worms considered STD's? I bet tapeworms are transmissible through some forms of sex. Or is eating someone's brain a form of sex? If so, I could put that brain-rot disease - which cannibals used to get from eating human brains - on my list too. For that matter, what isn't sex? There are sure a lot of fetishes..........
posted by troutfishing at 5:29 AM on December 1, 2003
It's almost better to imagine it, but maybe not and - besides - I can't list 12 STD's off the top of my head. Are parasitic worms considered STD's? I bet tapeworms are transmissible through some forms of sex. Or is eating someone's brain a form of sex? If so, I could put that brain-rot disease - which cannibals used to get from eating human brains - on my list too. For that matter, what isn't sex? There are sure a lot of fetishes..........
posted by troutfishing at 5:29 AM on December 1, 2003
Pretty well done, though it doesn't reach the level of greatness of Monty Python's Medical Love Song.
posted by rushmc at 5:37 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by rushmc at 5:37 AM on December 1, 2003
re: troutfishing's post... the only way tapeworms can be sexually transmitted is by having anal sex with guy A who has tapeworms, then having oral sex with guy B (previously uninfected) without cleaning off your member.
Thanks for the thought.
posted by degnarra at 5:43 AM on December 1, 2003
Thanks for the thought.
posted by degnarra at 5:43 AM on December 1, 2003
troutfishing... for the sake of your romantic life...
NO eating someone's brain IS NOT a form of sex.
posted by Blue Stone at 5:47 AM on December 1, 2003
NO eating someone's brain IS NOT a form of sex.
posted by Blue Stone at 5:47 AM on December 1, 2003
Blue Stone.. there are some who would disagree with you.
posted by Pericles at 5:51 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by Pericles at 5:51 AM on December 1, 2003
Aren't crabs and pubic lice the same thing?
posted by TimeFactor at 6:01 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by TimeFactor at 6:01 AM on December 1, 2003
TimeFactor, yes, as it turns out. They are used interchangeably. You might be interested to know that scabies and public lice are similar, but entirely different afflictions. On this note, I think I'll go take a bath in disinfectant now.
posted by psmealey at 6:14 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by psmealey at 6:14 AM on December 1, 2003
the only way tapeworms can be sexually transmitted is by having anal sex with guy A who has tapeworms, then having oral sex with guy B (previously uninfected) without cleaning off your member.
You couldn't ingest them as a result of rimming or felching?
posted by biffa at 6:27 AM on December 1, 2003
You couldn't ingest them as a result of rimming or felching?
posted by biffa at 6:27 AM on December 1, 2003
Dear god this discussion is rancid. But I just can't look away!
posted by dazed_one at 6:43 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by dazed_one at 6:43 AM on December 1, 2003
> Aren't crabs and pubic lice the same thing?
If you put it in Washington, yes. If you put it on Baltimore, no.
posted by jfuller at 6:43 AM on December 1, 2003
If you put it in Washington, yes. If you put it on Baltimore, no.
posted by jfuller at 6:43 AM on December 1, 2003
ewww, I would think this would be a very effective promo for condoms...I know it will induce me to take further precautions.
posted by madamjujujive at 7:13 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by madamjujujive at 7:13 AM on December 1, 2003
You couldn't ingest them as a result of rimming or felching?
Dude, I guess I didn't spend as much time on this one as you did...
posted by degnarra at 7:47 AM on December 1, 2003
Dude, I guess I didn't spend as much time on this one as you did...
posted by degnarra at 7:47 AM on December 1, 2003
Condoms didn't me from getting scabies from the mefite who infected me. He had a patch on his underarm.
Scabies are hell, trust me. I gave myself bruises from scratching my legs so hard. I couldn't sleep for all the itching, all over my body. Between my fingers was especially aggravating.
Heed my warning, don't have sex with people from metafilter!
posted by beth at 11:22 AM on December 1, 2003
Scabies are hell, trust me. I gave myself bruises from scratching my legs so hard. I couldn't sleep for all the itching, all over my body. Between my fingers was especially aggravating.
Heed my warning, don't have sex with people from metafilter!
posted by beth at 11:22 AM on December 1, 2003
Gah! Apostrophe fault! Condoms. Simple plural. I'll just shut up now.
posted by beth at 11:25 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by beth at 11:25 AM on December 1, 2003
Very, very clever. : )
posted by SisterHavana at 11:53 AM on December 1, 2003
posted by SisterHavana at 11:53 AM on December 1, 2003
thanks for the post, that was the most beautifal singing of "gonorhea" i've ever heard.
posted by NGnerd at 9:15 PM on December 1, 2003
posted by NGnerd at 9:15 PM on December 1, 2003
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posted by quonsar at 4:31 AM on December 1, 2003