Imaginary girlfriends rule!

January 28, 2004 7:58 PM

Are you tired of being alone and your friends and family thinking that you are gay or just can't get a girlfriend.  If so, then I am the woman you are looking for.
Oh... me, me, me, me, and me too. And then there's the nun.
posted by travis (26 comments total)

See also imaginary 'seksy' boyfriend, and - my favorite - Imaginary Semi-Psychotic Stalker Ex-Boyfriend Includes blog devoted to "relationship".
posted by stonerose at 8:15 PM on January 28, 2004

funny..she's advertising to be a beard just like Nicole Kidman was, and Penelope Cruz is now.
posted by amberglow at 8:18 PM on January 28, 2004

My god, did you hear her voice? Even that's imaginary.
posted by MsVader at 8:21 PM on January 28, 2004

i wonder what the bid is to make her a REAL girlfriend?
posted by memnock at 8:22 PM on January 28, 2004

As long as they are going to be my imaginary girlfriend, they should at least post fake pics. Frankly, some of these girls are gross.
posted by banished at 8:30 PM on January 28, 2004

Do you get imaginery nagging to not spend so much time on MeFi thrown in as well?
posted by dg at 8:39 PM on January 28, 2004

Okay it's one thing to have to foot the bill when you have a real girlfriend. With this sluggish economy I don't see how bothering with the whole dating thing is financially lucrative at all. Now there's women wanting to get money from guys without even dating? Why can't we just push all this bullshit aside and just make prostitution legal? Guys wanna get laid. Women wanna get rich. Everybody's happy.

I don't see how a few letters "sprayed with [her] personal fragrance" are going to convince people. For a service like this to be worth any money, the woman would have to actually make public appearances with the guy, around his friends, in a manner that would convince his friends. So she'd have to kiss him and pretend to like it. There'd be the holding hands and all that. She'd have to get to know him a little bit. And in the end it would be whatever the initial cost was plus expenses. So basically the guy's paying the same amount of money or more for a fake girlfriend, only up front he knows there's not going to be a long term committment and he's never really gettin' any.

There's actually a way that affluent males are able to aquire the services of a lady for public appearances. I believe it's called an escort service. I don't understand the details, because I've never been affluent, but I think you communicate with some agency and they have a lady meet you some place and then she goes with you to the company party so everyone thinks you had a date and aren't a complete wastoid, but you don't actually take her home. I still fail to see the value of these services. It's much cheaper to just let everyone know you have to pay women to go out with you. Most people figure that out anyway.

Maybe taking her home costs extra?
posted by ZachsMind at 8:51 PM on January 28, 2004

I find it interesting these girls are using Ebay. Why not just set up a service, charge a flat rate. My guess is these girls get off on more than just the money in auctioning themselves.
posted by stbalbach at 9:33 PM on January 28, 2004

I always wondered how all the teenie wannabe cam whores were going to turn out...

When you get used to exhibiting your body for Amazon wishlist gifts, it's a logical progression to asking for straight-up legal tender. stalbach is right though, at least some of the popularity of this practice proceeds from its vendors' experience of an erotic attraction from exhibitonism. Before the Internet, who knew there were so many exhibitonists in the world?
posted by meehawl at 9:42 PM on January 28, 2004

Fer gad's sake, men have been using women as imaginary sexual playmates for years and not paying one red cent for the service. It took the internet to finally revolutionize the monetization of this value add.
posted by scarabic at 10:02 PM on January 28, 2004

And you know there's some loser sitting there like, '$65? I think I could win her over for real in 2 mos....' (Actually, when I checked I think the highest bid of the girls was around $250.) Of course, that's assuming a fake bidder didn't offer up money for a fake girlfriend.
posted by Sellersburg/Speed at 10:54 PM on January 28, 2004

'$65? I think I could win her over for real in 2 mos....'

How many teen-movies are there with basically that exact plot?
posted by scarabic at 11:04 PM on January 28, 2004

Wow... I would rather be thought of as gay rather than have a fake relationship. That's the stuff you tend to remember on your deathbed.
posted by Keyser Soze at 11:27 PM on January 28, 2004

Nobody else thinks these are guys using random pictures of women? That was my first thought.

It is just astounding that I am up to my ears in attractive single women asking me if I know any nice available guys, but guys are too busy inventing and consuming bizarre forms of pornography as substitutes for these women.
posted by planetkyoto at 12:32 AM on January 29, 2004

planetkyoto:

Same situation here - up to my ears in attractive single women asking me if I know any nice available guys. It's sad, really.
posted by cup at 2:42 AM on January 29, 2004

This whole thing is bizarre: when I was 12 (I'm in my 20s now), I had a brief internet "relationship" with, um, a very strange peer. In fact, he hoarded correspondence and photographs from me in an effort to prove to his buddies at school that he had a girlfriend. (I remember a "They can't believe you exist!" phone conversation.) In short: God, I can't believe I never thought of this scam, considering I did it in middle school without being paid.
posted by jennanemone at 2:48 AM on January 29, 2004

I wonder if you could pay one of these girls to be someone elses fake girlfriend? Say, for example, the boyfriend/husband of a woman you secretly like.. Now that'd be worth the money, if somewhat machiavellian.
posted by cell at 3:18 AM on January 29, 2004

Inspired by cell, I think I'm going to bid on two of the cheaper ones and unleash them on each other.
posted by jalexei at 4:59 AM on January 29, 2004

Somewhat machiavellian, cell? I'm now imagining all sorts of Hitchcockian scenarios... Get scary stalker guy to harrass your rich wife before you murder her, and watch him explain to the local police that this is a service that he sells on ebay, you know? Nothing personal?
posted by taz at 5:14 AM on January 29, 2004

up to my ears in attractive single women asking me if I know any nice available guys.
I don't think crazy-buying-imaginary-girlfriend-guy is what they have in mind.
posted by travis at 6:20 AM on January 29, 2004

when I was 12 (I'm in my 20s now), I had a brief internet "relationship"

Good God, do I suddenly feel old.
posted by kindall at 9:08 AM on January 29, 2004

when I was 12 (I'm in my 20s now), I had a brief internet "relationship"
I lie to people all the time that I have 17,175 close personal friends.

And planetkyoto & cup: Give 'em my e-mail address...
posted by wendell at 9:23 AM on January 29, 2004

*cough* I hear ya kindall. I hear ya.
posted by shoepal at 9:26 AM on January 29, 2004

My boyfriend? His name is . . . George. . . Uh . . . . George Glass.
posted by archimago at 9:47 AM on January 29, 2004

Isn't this just another form of prostitution but without the money shot?
posted by fenriq at 11:06 AM on January 29, 2004

Get scary stalker guy to harrass your rich wife before you murder her, and watch him explain to the local police that this is a service that he sells on ebay, you know? Nothing personal?
Now there's a thought. All I need now is a rich wife.

*echoes kindall's thought*
posted by dg at 7:18 PM on January 29, 2004