"Our" man no longer

May 20, 2004 9:39 AM

Surprise, surprise... is Ahmed Chalabi the next terrorist in the making?
posted by mrgrimm (37 comments total)

We never seem to learn.
posted by Outlawyr at 9:50 AM on May 20, 2004

In the future, everyone will be a terrorist for 15 minutes.
posted by keswick at 9:57 AM on May 20, 2004

It is funny. I though the kind of retribution one eventually gets for almost single-handed lying a superpower into a useless war was usually delivered in dark alleys of exotic eastern cities, not in front of the media. Go figure.
posted by nkyad at 10:13 AM on May 20, 2004

I told you people he won't led anything.
disappear his butt to Jordan i say.
posted by clavdivs at 10:33 AM on May 20, 2004

Smells like a stunt... now he's finally got the street cred he needs to take some power... but will it work? He's definitely not going to Jordan, unless he wants to rot in jail...
posted by chaz at 10:37 AM on May 20, 2004

Wonder what he knows that they don't want being made public....
posted by EmoChild at 10:38 AM on May 20, 2004

chaz, I had the same reaction. If Al-Sadr's popularity jumped when he became an enemy of the U.S., maybe a staged standoff will work for Chalabi. In other news, I trust nothing...
posted by letitrain at 10:45 AM on May 20, 2004

Excellent, keswick.
posted by soyjoy at 10:47 AM on May 20, 2004

I think W. has created more terrorists in the last 3.5 years than the US has in 50 years before that.

Way to go Bush!
posted by xmutex at 10:47 AM on May 20, 2004

i wonder if EmoChild has something. i'm thinking about the UN bombing, and what Chalabi told the US and when. it's a stretch ...
posted by mrgrimm at 11:01 AM on May 20, 2004

*cries*
posted by matteo at 11:10 AM on May 20, 2004

How many people heard the NPR interview W/Chalabi yesterday?

To paraphrase the interview:
Americans can't find the WMD cuz the WMD are now in hiding. (Oh, and you Americans are buffoons)
Yes I did get over 300K a month from American taxpayers.
Oh, and No, the Americans never asked about the WMD so I say anything. We had so many other things to discuss.

Less than 24 hours after the interview is on NPR the reports of the 'home invasion' and the reported bit about Chalabi is held at gunpoint AND how his portrait now sports a bullet hole in the portrait forhead.
posted by rough ashlar at 11:10 AM on May 20, 2004

Wonder what he knows that they don't want being made public....
posted by EmoChild at 10:38 AM PST on May 20 .

Word.
posted by dash_slot- at 11:38 AM on May 20, 2004

xmutex, well there ya go, Bush is the best there is at one thing, making new terrorists ready to suicide bomb us into oblivion.

Nice work, Mr. Bush.
posted by fenriq at 11:41 AM on May 20, 2004

Just when you thought the national embarassment Bush built couldn't possibly get any more stomp-down moronic....
posted by fold_and_mutilate at 11:46 AM on May 20, 2004

Snakes dealing with snakes. Anybody got a pack of mongoose handy? No surprise from me on this news...
posted by zoogleplex at 11:59 AM on May 20, 2004

Oh, please. Pundits have been saying that the only way a regime which we kinda like will come out of the region is if we chose one of the anti-us forces that we can deal with, let them slowly win power while we whomp everyone else, and then get out of there "forced" by said new leader.

To suddenly make Rummy's lapdog turn into US enemy #1 in the face of this analysis is just perhaps the most ham-fisted transparent attempt at a ruse I've ever seen. Bullet in his portrait's forehead? Puh-leeze!

Chalabi: Iraqi people! I know you hated me while I lived a life of luxury at the American taxpayers expense and fed them false information so that I could be set up as your ruler while you languished under Sadam! But, uh, now, AMERICANS ARE POOPYHEADS! (dodges american bullet aimed not even close to his general direction) Love me!
posted by jearbear at 12:30 PM on May 20, 2004

*cries*

*pre-emptively shrugs*
posted by mrgrimm at 12:44 PM on May 20, 2004

Wonder what he knows that they don't want being made public....

He knows fucking nothing, and they don't want that made public.
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 12:49 PM on May 20, 2004

Don't get me wrong--I'd be thrilled to win the raffle to get to kick Chalabi's feet out from under him on the gallow, but this guy's story is pretty cool. Can you imagine hiding out for like 30 years and hatching a plot to fool the largest superpower in the world into stealing a country for you? And then actually trying that plan? And then, thanks to the willing stupidity of people who actively sought to be tricked by a guy named "Curveball," having the plan actually work?

If I were a near-fictional-seeming supervillain, I would be tipping my hat to Chalabi in effusive admiration, but as it is I'd have to say that he's actually the one person in the world who I'd like to be killed.
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 12:56 PM on May 20, 2004

posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 1:30 PM on May 20, 2004

Good God - our government couldn't organise a drunken bash in a brewery. Is there anyone left running this occupation who knows what the hell he's doing?
posted by pyramid termite at 1:54 PM on May 20, 2004

Breaking news!!! My mom says she just saw on TV in the other room that Chalabi may have been selling information to Iran!

(Everything above is true).
posted by crazy finger at 3:41 PM on May 20, 2004

pyramid, read what they said in the Senate yesterday "I believe we are absolutely on the brink of failure. We are looking into the abyss," General Joseph Hoar, a former commander in chief of US central command, told the Senate foreign relations committee.
The apocalyptic language is becoming increasingly common here among normally moderate and cautious politicians and observers.
Larry Diamond, an analyst at the conservative Hoover Institution, said: "I think it's clear that the United States now faces a perilous situation in Iraq.
"We have failed to come anywhere near meeting the post-war expectations of Iraqis for security and post-war reconstruction.
"There is only one word for a situation in which you cannot win and you cannot withdraw - quagmire."
posted by amberglow at 3:43 PM on May 20, 2004

ok, i'll bite. who's the guy they are applauding? Chalabi is the oaf behind lbush's right-hand shoulder, right? i would have guessed Abizaid, but after a google search, i was quickly humbled.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:43 PM on May 20, 2004

That's Dr. Adnan Pachachi, President of the Iraqi Governing Council.
posted by David Dark at 4:14 PM on May 20, 2004

I'm with Chaz. My first thought is that they're setting him up as an enemy of America to get him into the good graces of the Iraqis, since they'd have nothing to do with an obvious Bush crony. Kinda like my reaction to the Kobe Bryant case. I was listening to a sports talk radio show and the host was criticizing the multi-million dollar shoe deal Kobe just signed, saying he didn't have the thug street cred to sell sneakers. Two days later, the rape charges hit. I immediately thought that Nike set the whole thing up.

Maybe I need to get fitted for a tinfoil beanie.
posted by shecky57 at 8:37 PM on May 20, 2004

Noriega.
Bin Laden.
Saddam.

Propped up, set up, used up, cast aside by America. No news here. Fucking morons.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:11 AM on May 21, 2004

Rethinking the Chalabi Connection
Why the Pentagon cut off funding to the Iraqi National Congress

and, in other IraqFilter news:

New Details of Prison Abuse Emerge
Abu Ghraib Detainees' Statements Describe Sexual Humiliation And Savage Beatings.

with new pictures, too.

Kasim Mehaddi Hilas, detainee No. 151108, told investigators that (...) he witnessed an Army translator having sex with a boy at the prison. He said the boy was between 15 and 18 years old. Someone hung sheets to block the view, but Hilas said he heard the boy's screams and climbed a door to get a better look. Hilas said he watched the assault and told investigators that it was documented by a female soldier taking pictures.


posted by matteo at 6:46 AM on May 21, 2004

Al-Sheik said he was arrested on Oct. 7, and brought to Abu Ghraib, where he was put in a tent for one night. The next day, he was transferred to the "hard site," the two-story building that held about 200 prisoners and contained Tiers 1A and 1B.
He said a bag was put over his head and he was made to strip. He said American soldiers started to taunt him.
"Do you pray to Allah?" one asked. "I said yes. They said, '[Expletive] you. And [expletive] him.' One of them said, 'You are not getting out of here health[y], you are getting out of here handicapped. And he said to me, 'Are you married?' I said, 'Yes.' They said, 'If your wife saw you like this, she will be disappointed.' One of them said, 'But if I saw her now she would not be disappointed now because I would rape her.' "
He said the soldiers told him that if he cooperated with interrogators they would release him in time for Ramadan. He said he did, but still was not released. He said one soldier continued to abuse him by striking his broken leg and ordered him to curse Islam. "Because they started to hit my broken leg, I cursed my religion," he said. "They ordered me to thank Jesus that I'm alive."
The detainee said the soldiers handcuffed him to a bed.
"Do you believe in anything?" he said the soldier asked. "I said to him, 'I believe in Allah.' So he said, "But I believe in torture and I will torture you.' "

posted by matteo at 6:49 AM on May 21, 2004

While the allowance of something so egregious to a believer might be considered a good psychological argument against Allah's power, you gotta wonder how anyone participating in this depravity could possibly imagine Jesus up there smiling down and approving of it.

These guys' actions are their own best argument against Boykinism.
posted by soyjoy at 7:52 AM on May 21, 2004

we knew we were gonna get those pictures and accounts sooner than later. ugh. the perversion of christianity is something beyond comprehension for me. it's enough to make one reconsider the purpose of modern religion (if one hadn't already ...)
posted by mrgrimm at 9:57 AM on May 21, 2004

I've never done an Iraqfilter FPP, but isn't this worthy of one?

I'm absolutely staggered. This story says basically that the Pentagon now believes Chalabi was Iran's agent - he led the US to war to rid Iran of Saddam. The Bush administration was duped into war by Iran?

I mean, Holy Fucking Shit, no?
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:12 AM on May 22, 2004

i was going to post that cunning--you do it...it's unbelievable. We did Iran's work for them.
posted by amberglow at 6:35 AM on May 22, 2004

Go for it amber - I'm still too much of a weenie.

looks like we weren't refighting the first gulf war after all, but the iran-iraq war.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:37 AM on May 22, 2004

i can't-- i just posted this. You do it : >
posted by amberglow at 7:02 AM on May 22, 2004

this is not the first Chalbuddy gave Iranians stuff...

paging Mr. Popoe....please come home
posted by clavdivs at 9:23 AM on May 22, 2004